CORNERED
When Joyce made her final plea to be sent home to her people without
waiting for the spring, it met with little opposition. Meredith had come
to the point of almost welcoming a break in the impossible deadlock at
which his domestic life had arrived. His beloved one's nerves had broken
down from one cause and another, and she was drifting into the habits of
a confirmed invalid. If he did not let her go, he would, perhaps, have
to stand aside and watch her increasing intimacy with the doctor whom he
could not challenge without creating a disgusting scandal; which would
make life in Bengal intolerable for himself as well as for her. So he
agreed to her departure with the child in the hope that "absence would
make her heart grow fonder," and that she would come back to him,
restored, when the cold season returned and made life in India not only
tolerable, but pleasant.
Hurried arrangements were put through, a passage secured, and Joyce
roused herself to bid her friends a formal farewell.
At the Brights', only Honor was at home, her mother having driven to the
bazaar for muslin to make new curtains. Christmas was approaching and a
general "spring cleaning" was in full swing in order that everything
should look fresh for the season.
"It is the greatest day in the year, and even the natives expect us to
honour it. Our festival, you know," Honor explained.
"It always looks so odd to have to celebrate Christmas with a warm sun
shining and all the trees in full leaf!" said Joyce. "That is why it
never feels Christmas to me. I miss the home aspect,--frost and snow,
and landscapes bleak and bare."
"The advantage lies with us. We can calculate on the weather with
confidence, and it is so much more comfortable to feel warm. And then
everything looks so bright!"
"I am glad you like it since you have to stay. I hate India more than
ever."
Honor looked earnestly at her, and wonderingly. "Isn't it rather a
wrench to you to leave your husband?" Joyce had grown so apathetic and
cold.
For answer her friend broke down completely, and wept as though her
heart would break. "We seem to be drifting apart. Oh, Honey, I love him
so!"
"Then why go?"
"I must. I want to think things over and recover by myself. I am trying
to forget all about that night in the ruins, and hoping for time to put
things to rights. Perhaps I shall return quite soon. Perhaps, if the
doctor is transferred, I shall find courage to write and tell Ray all
about _it_. I am all nerves, sometimes I believe I am ill, for I can't
sleep well and have all sorts of horrid dreams about cholera, and
snakes, and Baby dying of convulsions! So, you see, a change is what I
most need; and I am so homesick for Mother and Kitty! I cry at a word. I
start at every sound, and if Baby should fall ill, it would be the last
straw."
"But what is to happen when you are away, if, while you are here you
feel you are drifting apart?"
"When I am away, he will forget my silly ways and remember only that I
am his wife and how much he loves me. He _does_ love me, nothing can
alter that; but lately I have held aloof from him for reasons I have
explained to you, and he is hurt. You may not understand how desperately
mean I feel, and how unfit to kiss him and receive his kisses after what
has happened. For the life of me I could not keep it up without telling
him all. And how could I, when Captain Dalton is convalescent and my
husband will have to meet him when he is able to get about again?
Already he is talking of going round to chat with him. You see, he does
not know!"
Honor was deeply perplexed. "Of course, you must do as you please, but
in your place, I would tell him everything, and as he knows how dearly
you love him, and only him, he will, I am certain, give up all desire
for revenge. At a push, he might ask for a transfer."
Joyce shuddered. "I'd rather leave things to time. Later on, I can tell
him all about it, and, perhaps, by then, Captain Dalton will have been
transferred. Don't you love me, Honey?"
"Of course I love you."
Joyce flung her arms round Honor's neck and kissed her warmly. "You were
looking so cold and disapproving! Take care of Ray for me, will you? and
write often to me about him. I shall miss him terribly," and she sobbed
unrestrainedly.
When Meredith saw her safely to Bombay, preparatory to her embarkation,
he allowed himself to show something of the grief he felt at having to
give up for an indefinite time what he most valued on earth. In the
seclusion of their room at the hotel, he held her close in his arms and
devoured her flower-like face with eyes of hungry passion.
"So, not content with holding yourself aloof from me, you are leaving me
to shift for myself, the best way I can!" he said grimly.
Joyce's lips quivered piteously and she hid her face in his shirt-front.
"Has it never occurred to you," he said, "that a man parted too long
from his wife, might get used to doing without her altogether?"
Two arms clung closer in protest. "But never you!" she replied with
confidence.
"Even I," he said cruelly. He wanted to hurt her since she had walked
over him, metaphorically, with hobnailed boots. "India is a land of many
temptations."
"But you love me!"
"God knows I do. But I am only a very ordinary human man whose wife
prefers to live away from him in a distant land."
"Ray, you are saying that only to be cruel!"
"Because I am beginning to think you have no very real love for me."
"I love you, and no one else!"
"I have seen very little evidence of love, as I understand it. A great
many things count with you above me. The child comes first! God knows
that I have idolised you. Perhaps this is my punishment! but I
worshipped you, and today you are deliberately straining the cord that
binds us together. The strands will presently be so weak that they will
snap altogether. Then all the splicing afterwards will never restore it
to its original strength. It will be a patched-up thing--its perfection
gone. Remember, a big breach between husband and wife may be mended--but
never again is there restored what has been lost!" He lifted her chin
and kissed her cold lips roughly. "When do you mean to return? Can't you
suggest an idea of the time?"
"Whenever you can get leave to fetch me," she answered with sobbing
breath.
"I swear to God I will not do so!" he broke out. "You may stay as long
as you choose. I shall then understand how much I count with you. I
refuse to drag back an unwilling wife."
"Oh, Ray! Don't talk like that! Won't you believe that I love you?"
"I would sell my soul to believe it ... to bank all my faith on it!"
"It is true!"
"Prove it now."
"How can I?"
"Let me cancel the passage, and come back with me."
Her face fell. "I could not do that after all the arrangements have been
made. Mother will be so disappointed--besides, people will think me
mad!"
Meredith released her and turned away, a fury of jealousy at his heart.
"Ever since that night at the ruins you have become a changed being. I
tried not to think so, but, by God! you have forced me to. One might
almost imagine you are running away from Captain Dalton. Is there
anything between you?" he asked coming back to face her, white and
shaken.
Joyce burst into tears. "I don't understand what you are accusing me
of!" she sobbed, panic-stricken.
"Are you in love with that man?"
This was something tangible and Joyce was roused to an outburst of
honest indignation. "No!--no! A thousand times, no! How dare you think
so! How dare you imply I am lying? I have said I love you, but I shall
hate you if you hurt me so!"
Meredith's face lightened as he swung about the room. "It all comes back
to the same thing in the end. It is good-bye, maybe, for years!"
Early the next morning, he saw his wife on board with the child and
ayah, and then returned to his duties at Muktiarbad, a lonely and
heavy-hearted man.
Captain Dalton recovered, was granted sick leave by the Government, and
disappeared from the District for a sea trip to Ceylon.
Tommy mentioned the fact to Honor having just learned it from him on the
platform of the railway station where he was awaiting the Calcutta
express, surrounded with baggage and with servants in attendance. He was
looking like a ghost and was in the vilest of tempers; not even having
the grace to shake hands on saying good-bye!
Honor turned aside that the boy might not see the disappointment in her
face. Her heart was wrung with pain. Not once had Captain Dalton made an
effort to see her.
Her father had smoked a cigar with the invalid one evening when he was
allowed to sit up on a lounge in his own sitting-room, and had been
asked to convey thanks and gratitude to Mrs. Bright for her many
kindnesses to the patient in his illness; but there had been no
reference to "Miss Bright"; nor did he give any sign that he remembered
what had passed between them at his bedside, the one and only time that
he had seemed to recognise her and had spoken unforgettable words.
It was cruel; it was humiliating!
Honor had been trying by degrees to teach herself to believe that he had
spoken under the influence of delirium. Perhaps he had been thinking of
someone else outside her knowledge? But she could not forget how sanely
he had recalled the time he had treated her for snake-bite. His words
were burned into her brain as with fire--"When you came to me for help
in your danger and suspense; when I saw into that brave, staunch heart
of yours, and, for the first time, knew a true woman!"
There was no delirium in that!
What did it all mean? If he really loved her, why did he not want her as
she wanted him? Why did he treat her with such indifference and wound
her to the heart?
There was no answer to her questioning. Captain Dalton was, as always,
unaccountable, and Honor lifted her head proudly, and determined to
think no more of him. She gave herself up to the arrangements for a
happy Christmas, and, for the next week, was the busiest person at
Muktiarbad.
Tommy, claiming assistance from his chum, Jack, was ready to draw up a
programme for a gala week. There would have to be polo, tennis, and golf
tournaments if the residents entered into the spirit of enjoyment and
were sporting enough to fill the Station with guests.
"Who do you suppose will care to come to a dead-and-alive hole like
this?" Jack remarked, throwing cold water, to begin with, on his
friend's enthusiasms. "It will be a waste of energy especially when they
are having a race meeting at Hazrigunge!"
"Even this dead-and-alive hole might be made entertaining if we put our
shoulders to the wheel."
"There are not enough of us. You might count the doctor out--he's away.
Meredith is no good. His wife's left him for the present and he lives in
the jungles with a gun. With half-a-dozen men, one girl, and a host of
Mrs. Grundies, you are brave if you think you can manage to engineer a
good time. Take my advice, old son, and leave people to spend their time
as they please. After all, Christmas is a time for the kiddies; not old
stagers like you and me."
Jack's spirits were conspicuously below par, and there had been signs
and symptoms of boredom, reminiscent of Bobby Smart whenever he had been
seen in company with Mrs. Fox.
"Can't you work up some little interest?" Tommy asked impatiently. "It's
beastly selfish of you, to say the least of it."
"I might spend Christmas in town."
"I might have known that. I heard something last night about Mrs. Fox
having an invitation to spend Christmas with friends in Calcutta," was
the pointed rejoinder.
"Pity you did not think of it before."
"Chuck it, Jack!" said Tommy earnestly, putting a hand affectionately on
his friend's shoulder.
"I wish to God I could," was the gloomy reply. "It's so easy to get into
trouble, but so devilishly difficult to get out of it again, decently."
"I'd do it indecently, if it comes to that! You think it's 'playing the
game' to keep on with an affair of that sort? It's a damned low-down
sort of game, anyhow, with no rules to keep; so chuck it before worse
happens."
Jack lighted a cigarette deliberately and made no reply. His
good-looking, young face was looking lean and thoughtful; he had
suddenly changed from boyish youth to _blase_ middle age; the elasticity
of his nature was gone; his laugh was rarely heard, and he seemed to
keep out of the way of his friends. Even Tommy had ceased to share his
confidence. There was a rumour that the Collector had spoken to him like
a father and was seriously thinking of having him transferred--a
suggestion which had been made by his wife, prompted by Honor. But
transfers were not effected in a twinkling, and Jack still remained at
Mrs. Fox's beck and call, took her out in his side car, and was often
missing of an evening when it was expected of him to turn up at a
special gathering of his friends.
In desperation Tommy confided to Honor that Christmas was going to be as
dull as Good Friday, as there would be nothing doing. And Honor not to
be beaten, collected subscriptions, sent out invitations, and threw
herself heartily into the task of organizing a good time.
In the end, Christmas week at Muktiarbad was a season of mild amusement
and effortless good-fellowship. A few guests arrived to assist in making
merry, and there was no discordant note to jar the harmony of the
gatherings.
* * * * *
Jack arrived at the crisis of his life, on Christmas Eve, in Calcutta,
when he felt that the invisible bonds threatening to enslave him were
suddenly tightened, rendering his escape well-nigh impossible.
He had taken a box at the theatre, from which he and Mrs. Fox watched
the "Bandmann Troupe" in their latest success.
"What a mercy we are not staying at the same hotel, Jack," said Mrs.
Fox. "It did feel rotten at first, but as it turns out, it will be all
for the best, old thing. I have extraordinary news for you."
"You have?--out with it!" he said absently. She had so often surprises
on him which generally ended in some new suggestion of intrigue, that he
was both unmoved and incurious.
"First tell me how fond you are of me. You haven't said much about it
since we came to town."
"We haven't been so very much alone, have we?"
"No, worse luck! but there is no reason why you should not make up for
it whenever we are together. You must have heaps of quite charming
things to say? In fact, you do love me tremendously, Jack, don't you?"
she coaxed.
"I thought I had proved it sufficiently," he said colouring with
annoyance while he tried to look amiable.
"You are a darling--like your silly old name which I adore! What a
topping world this is! You don't know how much you have altered
everything for me. I feel such a kid, and everyone tells me I might be
in my teens!" she said with a pitiable attempt to be kittenish.
Jack turned away, sickened by her vain folly, and frowned involuntarily.
What an outrageous ass he had been! However, some day he would break
away from his chains; only, he must do it decently. Let her down gently,
so to speak, as she was so damned dependent on his passion, which had
long since died a natural death.
Mrs. Fox snuggled her hand into his. "Say something nice, my Beauty
Boy," she wheedled.
Jack squirmed inwardly; nevertheless, to oblige her he admired her gown
and called up the ghost of the smile which had once been his special
charm.
"How lovely it would be if you and I were husband and wife,
Jack?--sitting here, together, in the eyes of all the world?"
"Lovely," echoed Jack, dutifully.
"You would never fail me, dearest, would you? Say, supposing I were, by
some miracle, free?"
Knowing that she was securely bound, Jack felt safe in assuring her that
he would never dream of failing her. It was his belief that this, and
other vows he had unthinkingly made, were impossible of fulfilment in
their circumstances.
"What a boy it is!--always so shy of letting himself go. Look at me. I
want to see if your eyes are speaking the truth. There is something of
importance I have to tell you relating to our two selves and the
future."
Jack obeyed, curious and not a little anxious because of the
half-suppressed note of excitement she could not keep out of her voice.
The shaded lights of the theatre were not too dim to show the fine lines
at the corners of her mouth and the obvious effort to supply by art what
nature had failed to perpetuate. But the egotism of a woman grown used
to her power to charm, dies hard.
Jack's eyes fell nervously before the questioning in hers.
"Tell me, don't you believe we could be very happy together?"
"Why should you doubt me?" he said evasively.
"I don't doubt you, but I want the joy of hearing you say so. To me it
is so wonderful,--what is about to happen,--that I am afraid I shall
wake up and find it is all a dream!" she said fatuously, gazing with
adoration at Jack's fine physique and boyish, handsome face. "You have
often feared possibilities, and said you would stand by me if anything
went wrong between Barry and myself."
Jack remembered having often said much that had made him hotly
uncomfortable to recall afterwards.
"Didn't you, Jack, dear?"
"Of course," he said desperately. "What else do you suppose, unless I am
a howling cad?"
"I know you are not, that is why I simply adore you. You are so true, so
sincere! My beau ideal of manhood!----"
"Well, it is like this. Barry has come to the conclusion that it isn't
fair to either of us to keep dragging at our chains when we have long
ceased to care for each other, so he wrote, yesterday, to tell me that
he would put no obstacle in my way if I wished to divorce him. There is
someone he is keen on and whom he will marry in due course. I can do the
same. He has heard about you--just rumour--but as a woman is always the
one to suffer most in a suit for divorce he has most generously
suggested that the initiative should come from me. Rather decent of him,
what?"
"Tremendously decent," said Jack his heart becoming like lead in his
breast. For a moment the lights of the theatre swam; he felt deadly sick
and cold, and failed to take in the sense of what she continued to say.
In the midst of his mental upheaval the lights mercifully went down and
the curtain up, so that much of his emotion passed unnoticed.
"Why Jack!--think of it, we shall be able to marry after it is all
finished!--only a few months to wait!"
"Yes," said he with dry lips.
"Try to look as if you are glad!" she teased. "You know you are crazy
with delight. It is what we were longing for. Be a little responsive,
old dear," she said, giving his hand a squeeze.
Jack returned the pressure, feeling like a trapped creature with no hope
of escape. Marriage with Mrs. Barrington Fox had never at any time
entered into his calculations. He was too young, to begin with, and
certainly did not wish to be tied down to the woman who had played upon
his untried passions.
Waves of self-disgust and dread seemed to overwhelm him.
He sat on for the next few minutes seeing nothing, hearing nothing,
saying nothing, while he anathematised himself mentally as every kind of
a fool, Barrington Fox as a contemptible blackguard, and the woman
beside him as something unspeakable. He could not deny his own
culpability; but he had felt all along that a nature like his was as wax
in such unscrupulous and experienced hands.
He had been weak--yes, damnably weak! that was about the sum and total
of it. And he would have to spend the rest of his life in paying for it!
What would the mater say? He thought of her first; the proud and
handsome dame who had placed all her hopes on her eldest son--who
thought no one good enough to be his wife.
His pater?--and the girls?
He had never associated them in his thoughts with Mrs. Fox, nor dreamed
of their meeting even as acquaintances. The contrast was too glaring.
His career?
Well!--the Government did not approve discreditable marriages; but, on
the other hand, it did not actively interfere with a Service man's
private affairs. A good officer might make his way in spite of an
unfortunate marriage. There were worse instances in the "Indian Civil"
than his. But he was certain, at any rate, he would be socially done
for!
Gradually he had come to realise that all the stories concerning Mrs.
Fox must have been true, and that she had been tolerated by society
purely on account of her husband--and he was now proved no better than
she!
Be that as it may, he saw no way out of his dilemma save by dishonouring
his written and spoken word. One was as good as the other and he felt
himself hopelessly snared. The lady would have to become his wife, and
he would spend the rest of his life dominated by her personality,
fettered by her jealous suspicions, and suffering in a thousand other
ways, as men suffer, who rashly marry women several years older than
themselves.
Mrs. Fox laughed merrily at the comic situation in the performance to
give Jack time to recover himself, but her eyes gleamed anxiously.
She was sufficiently woman of the world and quick-witted enough to
comprehend the shock to Jack and his consequent stupefaction. But he was
young enough for his nature to be played upon, and she was determined
not to lose her advantage. She banked all her hopes on his sense of
honour, and continued to thank her stars that her luck was "set fair."