SECRET JOYS
Honor seemed to walk on air all day. The whole world had changed for her
in a twinkling, and her heart sang for very joy at being alive. God had
answered her appeal and had given her the love of this lonely man whose
soul was sick and wanted tender nursing back to health. Henceforward it
would be her privilege to restore to him his lost ideals and revive his
faith in God and human nature. Her belief in the power of truth and love
being securely established, she had no fears for a future spent with
Brian Dalton, for all his failures and misdeeds.
Her only regret was, having to keep her happiness to herself for the
present, when she longed to share it with her mother: and to atone for
her enforced reserve, she tried to be more than ever attentive and
considerate to her while she looked forward to the time, not far
distant, when she would obtain her forgiveness and blessing.
Captain Dalton's professional duties kept him engaged till dusk, when,
much to the surprise of the members, he reappeared at the Club. He was
impatient to meet Honor again and to exact from her lips renewed
assurances of her unchanged feelings and good faith, for he was restless
and unable to accept the astounding truth, being suspicious of his good
fortune and distrustful of circumstances.
On the whole, the meeting was unsatisfactory on account of the lack of
opportunity for a _tete-a-tete_. Constant interruptions owing to Honor's
popularity, had the effect of driving him into his accustomed aloofness
of manner tinged with aggressiveness towards offending persons. Tommy's
persistent claims on Honor's comradeship were particularly aggravating,
and not to be borne.
"I shall wring his neck if he butts in again," Dalton muttered
viciously.
"We have known each other since we were children," Honor put in as a
softener.
"I can't stick it here for another minute," he said with a suppressed
curse. "Let's get out of this!"
To Honor, it was joy to be with him even in the midst of a company of
others. Her satisfaction lay in the knowledge that she was beloved and
his whispered endearments gave her bliss. His voice at her ear was the
sweetest music she had ever heard when it said, "Honey!" or
"Sweetheart!" and asked her to repeat that she loved him. "You know I
do," she once answered. Thereupon their eyes met for a brief moment and
her senses swooned under the intensity of his gaze. In that fraction of
time he had, by suggestion, kissed her with such passion and longing--as
at the _jhil_--that her breath fluttered in a sob, her eyes were
blinded. He was teaching her to want him even as he wanted her till she
was thrilled at the strength of their love. It was glorious that they
were both young, with so many years of their lives before them in which
to grow nearer to each other. "And they twain shall be one flesh,"
seemed the most blessed psychological miracle that her virgin mind could
conceive.
"Where shall we go?" she answered indulging his demand to take her away
from the Club.
"We can go for a spin in my car."
"It is so dark!"
"Do you mind?" His voice sounded hurt, and Honor, who was sensitive to
its inflection, immediately yielded. She feared venomous tongues, but,
the most deadly of them all being absent--Mrs. Fox having taken up her
abode in Calcutta while her case was pending--she was reassured.
"Mother dear, I am going for a little run in Captain Dalton's car, if
you don't mind," she called softly to Mrs. Bright who was busy
organising a bridge party in the Ladies' Room.
Mrs. Bright looked surprised. Doubtful thoughts flashed through her
mind,--fear of gossip, reluctance to stand in the way of innocent
pleasure, and wonder that the doctor should have shown a sudden
inclination towards sociability. Seeing a critical expression lurking in
Mrs. Ironsides' eye her dignity was immediately in arms.
"Certainly, darling, but don't be late. Mind you wrap up properly," she
returned cordially. Mrs. Ironsides would have to appreciate the fact
that Honor had her mother's fullest trust and confidence. However,
throughout the ensuing rubber she could not avoid mentally speculating
on the possibility of the most eligible bachelor in the District
beginning to consider her child from a matrimonial point of view.
Miss Bright passed out into the darkness with Captain Dalton, her eyes
shining with a new beauty, and Tommy watched her, filled with dismay.
What was the meaning of it? Honor with the doctor, of all men! The
doctor paying Honor marked attentions, and she accepting them with sweet
graciousness! He forgot to pull at his cigar which went out while he
stared into the night with eyes that saw only the look in the girl's
eyes as she walked beside Dalton towards his car.
The motor drive was repeated occasionally, and it became an ordinary
event for Honor to shoot duck on the Panipara Jhil in his company. "It
is better than tramping the _jhil_ alone," Mrs. Bright said, when the
subject was mentioned in her presence. "I have always felt anxious while
she has been absent on her snipe-shooting expeditions alone, but am so
much easier in mind now that the doctor has taken charge of her. He is
such an unerring shot, I am told; and she is learning to be so careful
under his guidance."
It was the least of the lessons Honor learned from the doctor. He taught
her the delights of a perfect companionship founded on mutual love; a
man's reverence for the woman he respects: a complete knowledge of her
own heart; its power of devotion, its great depths, and stores of
feeling.
Sometimes Ray Meredith joined them in his fleeting visits to the
Station--a lonely and pathetic being, in need of companionship, and
grateful for friendly attentions. His wife wrote regularly, he said, and
she and the child were well. Otherwise, he spoke little of his absent
family. Sometimes Tommy would meet them on the _jhil_ and share their
picnic luncheon. Jack was never accorded an invitation. On these
occasions, the lovers would play at being ordinary friends but with poor
success. Honor would avoid meeting the doctor's eyes, while the doctor's
eyes were unable to stray long from contemplation of her engaging face
which had never looked so lovable and full of charm.
With a quickened intuition, Tommy realised that his own sun had set, and
he went about his business, a very subdued being; one who had lost all
interest in his occupations and who was finding very little in life
worth living for.
When Honor was alone with Dalton, they would discuss the future, and
plan their Elysium together. He was engaged in making arrangements for
taking up a practice in Melbourne, where a colleague, formerly his
senior, had retired and was eager for his young brains in partnership.
When everything was settled, her parents were to be told, after which
they would be quietly married at the Mission, and leave for Australia.
"You will not mind such a hole-and-corner sort of wedding?" he asked
anxiously.
"What does it matter, so long as we are married?" she replied. "I have
always hated a big, ostentatious wedding."
"I should loathe it!" he said strongly. "And what about Australia?"
"Anywhere with you--even if it is to the South Pole!"
Dalton kissed her to express his delight in her thoroughness. "How glad
I shall be when I have you all to myself!--I shall spend every day of my
life in proving to you how much I value your love, and you shall give
this poor devil a chance to take up his life again. Honey!--sometimes I
am sleepless with fears. It seems to me too good to be true. I am
overcome with dread lest I should never carry it through! Something will
be sure to happen to stop it. If so, I am done for! It will be the end
of me!" He looked as if haunted with forebodings of evil.
Honor enfolded him in her embrace. Her tender arms clung about his neck
and she kissed him tenderly in her desire to bring him comfort. "Why
should anything happen to interfere? God knows how much we care, and He
will be merciful." She fancied he alluded to sudden death.
"Ah! yes. Your God to whom you pray for safety every night of your life,
may see fit to save you from such as I. I'm not good enough to take you,
Honey; that's straight."
"You shall not say that," she protested laying her soft palm across his
mouth. "Who is good in this world? Not I, by any means! So we are a pair
in need of protection, and are both determined to begin a new life
together in gratitude for the Divine Countenance."
Dalton suppressed a sound that was almost a sob while he defiantly
blinked away a tear. "Sweet little Puritan!--" He covered her hand with
kisses. "But it will be a terrible day for me when that martinet of a
conscience sits in judgment on my sins. It makes me wish with all my
heart that I may be dead before then! I'd risk damnation to----"
"Oh, hush!----"
"To have you mine, anyway. Does that shock you? It's the truth," and
Honor was pained and greatly puzzled.
But he was not often in such a strange frame of mind. There were times
when he was a different man, almost boyish in his merriment, and full of
a determined optimism. He would build castles in the air for them both
to live in, and make her laugh just for the sake of admiring her
beautiful teeth.
It was early in March when Honor, having lost much of her reserve,
discussed Jack's affair with Dalton and deplored his inevitable ruin.
"Tommy says he'll be done for in every way if he marries her, but he
will do so in spite of everything."
"More fool he."
"He's been very weak and very wicked," sighed Honor; "but _she_ began
it. We watched it start, and Jack walk, as it were, blindfold into a
trap. It seems terrible that she should escape and he receive all the
punishment!"
"Generally, it is the other way about!"
"Jack's punishment will be life-long. He will never be a happy man.
Already, he is almost ill for thinking of it. His people are so proud
and would never receive Mrs. Fox. Can't anything be done? You don't
think he is obliged to marry her?"
"Not Mrs. Fox. Circumstances alter cases. She had her eyes wide open and
played her cards for this. It would serve a woman like that jolly well
right if young Darling gave her the slip. Tell Tommy to prevail on him
to see me. What he wants is a medical certificate and leave home for six
months. I'm very much mistaken if that doesn't change the complexion of
things considerably."
"But he has no real illness!"
"I dare say I'll find him really ill when I overhaul him. He looks on
the verge of a break-down. I have never seen a lad go off as he has done
the past few months."
"That is because, at heart, Jack is not really a bad fellow. It is just
that he is deplorably weak; and remorse for having yielded to
temptation, is tormenting his soul. In proper hands he would shape quite
well."
Dalton was as good as his word, for, when Jack visited him for a medical
opinion on his run-down health, he was ready with the certificate which
was to obtain six months' leave for him in Europe.
And while the young man waited on tenterhooks for sanction to leave
India, and the routine of station-life continued as usual, the doctor
awoke to the fact of his own increasing unpopularity with the natives of
Panipara. Joyce Meredith had once tried to warn him, at which he had
been considerably amused. After that, the arrival on the scene of a
surveyor and the taking in hand of preliminary measures, showed that the
Government were seriously considering the drainage scheme; hence
personal hostilities against the author of it became active, and the
gravity of his position was forced upon him.
The villagers scowled whenever he passed and repassed in his journeys
about the District, and offered him open insolence in lonely places;
while, on one occasion, a large mob had gathered to waylay the car, but
had melted away at sight of Honor beside him. They had recognised the
daughter of the senior police official, and were afraid,--or had caught
sight of shot guns in the car; whereupon, discretion had prevailed.
Recognising symptoms as dangerous, Dalton refrained from taking Honor
motoring with him, and had given up their joint expeditions to the
_jhil_, at which Mrs. Bright was well pleased. Captain Dalton had,
apparently, not proposed to Honor, and it was high time that he ceased
making her conspicuous by his attentions. She had expected something to
come of them but, so far, the only result was gossip and chaff on the
part of ladies when they met at the Club, which was excessively
annoying.
Didn't Honor see that matters were going a bit too far? Was it prudent
for a young girl to get herself talked about--especially with a young
man who had already caused plenty of gossip in the Station? Honor
allowed that she had, perhaps, been a little unwise not to have
considered the opinion of the neighbours, but her dear mother need not
make herself anxious, as she and Captain Dalton understood each other
perfectly.
That being the case, Mrs. Bright was consoled; for what is an
"understanding" between a man and a maid, if not an unofficial
engagement? Like most mothers, Mrs. Bright was anxious, at heart, to see
her daughter happily settled in life; and the doctor, though not a
wealthy man or popular, was, at least, a rising one in his profession,
and considered a good match.
Honor, however, paid little attention to gossip and chaff, her mind
being filled with anxiety and growing alarm for her lover's safety. She
had quickly divined the increasing antagonism of the Panipara villagers
towards him; and knowing his recklessness lived in continual dread.
"I shall not know a moment's peace while this sort of thing goes on,"
she fretted. "Can't you get a transfer till we are married?"
"And leave my little love?" It was unthinkable.
"It would make no difference in our feelings for each other."
"I couldn't do it, apart from the fact that it would look like running
away. You little know what it means to me to see you every day."
Latterly he had spent most of his evenings at the Blights', who took
compassion on his loneliness and were complaisant of his obvious
attachment to Honor. Mrs. Bright, in her tactful way, gave him many
opportunities of having Honor to himself in the drawing-room while she
betook herself to her husband's own particular sanctum to indulge in
confidential chat. "It is plain to see that he worships our Honey, and
it is best they should meet here, since meet they must, in her own
home," she would explain. "I dare say we shall be hearing something one
of these days."
"He improves on acquaintance, and certainly has a devilish fine voice. I
could listen to him all night," said her husband, nevertheless, obeying
the hint and remaining a voluntary exile in his study.
Considering that his opportunities for snatching whatever of happiness
he could out of his life in the present lay in Muktiarbad, it was not
likely that Dalton was inclined to seek a transfer and thus run away
from bodily danger;--not even when a parcel containing a bomb was placed
on his writing-table, which, owing to some technical defect, failed to
go off when it was opened. The incident gave Tommy and his subordinates
some work to do, trying to trace the culprit who had placed it there,
but the matter was treated with unconcern by the doctor himself.