ADVERTISES A ARTICKEL WOT WAS FOUND.--WIMMIN'S WAYS.--
CLAMED.--IN DURANSE VILE FOR STEELIN A SHALL.--HAPPY
EXPLERNASHUN AND INTERESTIN TABLOW.
“The lady wot dropped a artickel of warin appairel in the Post Offis,
last even-in, can have them by callin on the Devil at this offis and
provin property.”
The abuv is a advertisement wot I had put in the _Buster_ this mornin,
and all day long I've ben kep busy attendin to the ansurs. The fust
lady wot cum in had dropt a plume outer her hat. She giv me a full
descripshun of it, wot it cost, and said she knowed it was hers wot I'd
found; and then I showed her the artickel and axt her if that was it.
She blushed up orful red, and sailed outer the offis like I'd insulted
her. Yesterday muster ben a orful bad day for wimmin loosin things in
the Post Offis, cos there's bout two hundred ben to the offis. Sum lost
there teeth, uthers there bangs, clokes, slippers, overshoes, gloves,
skurts, hankercheefs, bussels, and most everything wot a woman could
pile on her; and I had to show every one of them the artickel wot was
found, and axt them if that was it, and, curius enuf, every one went off
mad and indignant. On towards nite I was jest beginnin to wonder wether,
in a case like this, onhesty was the best pollysee, or wether it wouldnt
of payed better for me to hav tuk em home to ma; wen a madin ladie, of
doutful age, come in to the offis, and sed: “Yung man, have they got C.
D. marked on the band.” I sed: “Yes, marm.”
“Well, they must be mine, cos my name's Carryline Duncan, & I alwus mark
my cloes C. D. for short. I didn't kno I'd lost 'em til I got hum, after
I'd ben down to the Post offis sendin a letter to Tom; that's my feller
wots ben to China for ten yeres.”
Then I giv em to her, and puttin them under her arm, she walked out as
happy as culd be.
I thot I was thru with my trubbel with wimmin's warin apparel for one
day, so I started hum. I'd ony got to the corner of Spruce street, wen a
grate strappin perliceman cum up to me, and clappin me on the shoulder,
sed: “I've got you, sunny, this time; cum along, now, or I'll be after
makin you.” I seen discreshun was the better part of valler, so I let
him leed me. Wen we got to the stashun he preferred a charge of larceny
gainst me. Then they axt me if I had eny bodie wot'd go my bale, so
I got 'em to send for Mr. Gilley. Wen he arrove, he cum up to me, the
teers streem-in down his cheeks, and sed: “Georgie, I'm sorry to see you
in such a posishun, but you'd better pleed gilty, and axe mercy of the
cort, cos they've got a sure case agen you. If you'd ony bin sharp enuf
to hide the property, it wouldn't ben so bad.” Jest then the lady wot
the shawl was stole from, come to identerfy it. Mr. Gilley & me was
lookin on. The lady looked orful close, and sed that looked jest like
her shawl, wot was all black, ony this one didn't hav no yaller stanes
on the corner were she dropt the lemon juce on to hers. Mr. Gilley
looked at it close, and purty soon he sed: “Why, Georgie, that's our
offis towl.” Then I seen all thru it in a minnit, cos there was the towl
wot I'd been carryin home to get washed, and the per-liceman, seein the
end stickin out from under my cote, and knowin that a black shawl had
been stole, arrested me as the theef. Then they had a big laff, and Mr.
Gilley set em up for the crowd. He sed he knowd I was orful honorary,
but he never culd b'leeve that I'd steel enything.