At last my conscience became so morbid that every sermon I heard and
every religious book or tract I read was at once compared with my
experience to see if I lacked in even the lightest details. I happened
to read of one devoted man who literally gave all his possessions to
the Lord's work. Immediately I thought of the small amount of money that
I had with which to pay my winter's tuition in the university. It was
not quite enough to pay all my expenses, and yet when I would decide
that I could not give my "all" to the Lord's work, terrible accusations
would crush me down until it seemed that my reason itself would become
unbalanced. In my despair, I opened up my heart to a trusted friend, and
he showed me that this was clearly an accusation from Satan and should
be entirely ignored. All these things told sadly on my mental and
physical condition, so that when the school year ended and I returned
home to my friends, they were very much disappointed in me. Finally they
became alarmed at my morbid condition.