_There are pauses between the showers of the outer world,_
_But there is no time when my sleeves, wet with tears, are dry._
That day the Queen saw the new boats which were presented for her
inspection. The dragon's head and the phoenix at the prow made me think
of animated living figures.
The visit[53] of His Majesty was to be made at eight or nine o'clock in
the morning. From early dawn ladies adorned themselves with great care.
As the seats of the courtiers were placed in the west side building
the Queen's apartment was not so much disturbed. I have heard that the
ladies serving at the Imperial shrine dressed very elaborately in the
rooms of the first maid-of-honour.
In the early morning Lady Koshosho came back from her father's. We
dressed our hair together. In spite of the fixed hour His Majesty's
coming will be delayed, we thought, and our relaxed minds were still
indolent. Some ladies had ordered unornamented silk fans and were on
tiptoe with expectancy when the drums were heard [announcing Royalty]
and they were in an awkward predicament.[54] We welcomed the Royal
equipage. The boatmen's music was very good. When the Royal palanquin
drew near, the bearers, though they were rather honourable persons,
bent their heads in absolute humility as they ascended the steps. Even
in the highest society there are grades of courtesy, but these men
were too humble. The Royal dais was prepared at the west side of the
Queen's.[55] His honourable chair was placed in the eastern part of
the south veranda. A little apart from it on the east side were hung
misu, and two of the court ladies in attendance on the King came out
from behind that misu. The beautiful shape of their hair, tied with
bands, was like that of the beauties in Chinese pictures. Lady Saémon
held the King's sword. She wore a blue-green patternless karaginu and
shaded train with floating bands and belt of "floating thread" brocade
dyed in dull red. Her outer robe was trimmed with five folds and was
chrysanthemum-coloured. The glossy[56] silk was of crimson; her figure
and movement, when we caught a glimpse of it, was flower-like and
dignified. Lady Ben-no-Naishi held the box of the King's seals. Her
uchigi was grape-coloured, her brocaded train and karaginu were the
same as the former lady. She is a very small and smile-giving person
and seemed a little shy and I was sorry for her. Her face and clothes
were in better taste than those of the other ladies. Her hairbands were
blue-green. Her appearance suggested one of the ancient dream-maidens
descended from heaven.
The officers of the King's Bodyguard managed things connected with the
state carriage [perhaps drawn by a bullock] in fine style. They were
elegantly dressed. The First Lieutenant-General took His Majesty's
sword and gave it to Lady Saémon.
Looking over those who were inside the misu I saw that persons who were
permitted to wear honourable colours were in karaginu of blue or red,
painted trains, and uchigi which were as a rule brocade of old red
and old rose. Only the Right Bodyguard wore clothes of shrimp pink.
The beaten[57] stuffs were like the mingling of dark and light maple
leaves in autumn. The under garments were in deep and pale jasmine
yellow or in green and white. Some wore scarlet and green, and others
dresses trimmed with three folds. Among those who were not permitted to
wear figured silk the elderly persons wore blue, or dull red and old
rose five-fold-bordered uchigi. The colour of the sea painted on their
trains was tasteful and quiet. On their belts was a repeated design.
The younger ladies wore five-fold-trimmed karaginu of chrysanthemum
colours according to their taste. The first garment was white and
those who wore a blue dress covered it with a red one. Those who
wore old rose on the outside took more richly coloured garments
underneath.[58] Among those whose dress was in combination with white,
only those who made skilful combinations seemed well dressed. I saw
some fans exquisitely strange and original. We can compare their
tastes more easily in their everyday dress, but on such an occasion
as this, when they give their whole minds to the costumes, vying with
each other, they all seem like so many works of art. They look rather
alike, and it is difficult to distinguish ages, or to know whether
hair is thick or thin. Their faces and heads were hidden by fans, yet
some ladies seemed more dignified and others inferior. Ladies who seem
distinguished at such a time must be beautiful indeed. Five ladies who
had formerly served both the King and our Queen were assembled here.
They were, two ladies-in-waiting, two maids-of-honour, and one cook.[59]
To serve the dinner Ladies-in-Waiting Chikuzen and Sakyo, their hair
tied with bands, came out near the square pillar where the court
ladies sat. They were like beautiful angels [Japanese word, tennin].
Sakyo wore karaginu of white, and blue under white. Lady Chikuzen wore
five-fold-trimmed karaginu of chrysanthemum colours. The ornament of
their trains was dyed by rubbing.[60] Lady Tachibana of the Third Rank
prepared the dinner. She is an old lady and wore blue[61] karaginu,
and yellow chrysanthemum uchigi woven in a "floating thread" pattern.
A sudaré was rolled up, but a post obscured the view. The Lord Prime
Minister, taking the August young Prince in his arms went before the
King. His Majesty took the child himself. The Honourable Infant cried
a little in a very young voice. Lady Ben-no-Saisho stood holding the
Prince's sword. The Prince was taken to the Lord Prime Minister's wife,
who sat on the west side of the inner door. After His Majesty had gone,
Ben-no-Saisho came out and said to me: "I was exposed to brightness
[i.e. the radiance of the King's presence]. I felt discomposed." Her
blushing face was beautiful in every feature, and set off her dress
delightfully.
When night came we had beautiful dances. The court nobles presented
themselves before the King [to dance]. The names of the dances
performed were:
The Pleasures of Ten Thousand Ages.
The Pleasures of a Peaceful Reign.
The Happy Palace.
When they danced the "Long-Pleasing[62] Son," the closing one, they
went out singing and danced along the road beyond the garden hills.[63]
As they went farther away the sound of flute and drum mingled with
the sound of wind in the pine-wood towards which they were going. The
garden brook, cleansed very carefully, was refreshing to us and the
[sound of the] water rippling on the pond gave us a chilly feeling.
Lady Sakyo offered the Queen sympathy, not knowing that she had doubled
her undergarments, so people laughed secretly. Lady Chikuzen talked of
the late King Enyu,[64] who had visited her often. She talked about
the events of those days, and I felt that she was about to utter
things unfit for this happy occasion, so I did not answer her saying
I was too tired. We were sitting with a curtain between us. If there
had been some one to ask, "Alas, what things?" she would have spilled
the unfit words.[64] The dancing before the King had begun and it
was very delightful, when the voice of the young Prince was heard
crying beautifully. The Minister of the Right said flatteringly that
the August Child's voice was in accord with the music. The Commander
of the King's Left Bodyguard recited with others "The Pleasures of
Ten Thousand Years" and "The Pleasures of Ten Thousand Autumns."
Our honourable host, the Lord Prime Minister, said, "Ah! I held the
previous condescending visit as a great honour, but this is the
greatest." He wept in intoxication of joy. There's really no need of
my saying it, but he is so grateful to the King and so conscious of his
happiness it is lovely to see it.
The Prime Minister withdrew and His Majesty retired from the chamber.
He summoned the Minister of the Right to order him to record that the
Queen's officials and Prime Minister's stewards were to be advanced in
rank. Tō-no-Ben presented to him all who were to be thus honoured. The
nobles of the Fujiwara clans[65] arrived together, but there were only
those immediately connected with the Prime Minister's family, the other
three families were not among them. Then came the chief officers of the
Right Bodyguard, the high officials of the Queen Dowager, the officials
of our Queen to whom additional duties were assigned, and other members
of the court who had been promoted and who came to thank the King. His
Majesty went in beside the Queen, but as the night was far advanced it
was not long before the Prime Minister called the Royal carriage and
the King returned to his own palace.
The next day Royal messengers came here before the morning mist had
cleared up. I arose late and did not see them. Last evening was the
first time that His Majesty the King had met the Queen during these
months. After the visit the duties of the August Prince's attendants
and ladies were made public. Some who had not heard about it before
were disappointed and jealous. The decorations of the Queen's
apartment, which had been neglected, were improved. Things became
more attractive in the Queen's presence. For years the Prime Minister
had felt anxious [as the Queen had had no child], but his hopes being
realized he and his wife devoted themselves to taking care of the
Queen. The August Child seems to have shed brightness around him.
In the evening the moonlight was very beautiful. The Second Official of
the August young Prince came, perhaps thinking that his thanks might
be offered by a court lady. The bridge opposite the door was wet with
vapour from the bath. No one answered, so he went to the room of Lady
Miya-no-Naishi which is next the bridge of the eastern building. Lady
Saisho was in the inner room. The man, holding back the unlocked door,
asked again, "Is some one within?" But she did not come out. Just then
the Queen's First Officer appeared and called, "Is some one there?"
She felt it impossible not to reply, so made a faint answer. The new
official was in a gay humour and said reproachfully, "You did not
answer me, but you especially favour the Head Officer! It is natural
enough, but not kind; is there so much difference between the nobles in
this place? It is too much!" He sung "The August Happiness of the Day."
As the night advanced the moon became brighter; "It would be better to
take away the obstruction from before the door," said he persuasively.
I thought it awkward that a noble of the Court should stand there
below me like that, but I did not open the door. If I were younger, I
thought, my inexperience would be my excuse were I to talk with him or
open the door, but one cannot talk thoughtlessly when one is young no
longer, so I did not open the door but held it with my hand.
The first day of the Frost month was the fiftieth day after the birth.
The persons who were to present themselves came in full dress. The
sight before her presence was like a picture of a poet's assembly.
Many kichō were arranged along the east side of the Queen's dais from
the inner room to the veranda. The Royal dining-table was placed
towards the south front of the house. At the west side was prepared
the Queen Dowager's dinner. It was placed on a tray of aloe wood. I
don't know what kind of a stand it was on because I did not see it.
She wore a grape-coloured kimono trimmed with five folds and red
uchigi. Those serving the dinner were Lady Saisho and Lady Sanuki.
The maids-of-honour dressed their hair with saishi and bands. Lady
Dainagon served the August Prince's dinner at the east side--a little
dining-table, plate, stand for chopsticks, with a central decoration
representing a bit of seashore--all as small as play-things for dolls.
At the east end where the sudaré was a little rolled up, there were in
waiting such ladies as Ben-no-Naishi, Lady Nakatsukasa, Lady Koshosho;
as I was inside I could not see in great detail. That night Lady
Sefu, the nurse, was permitted to wear a dress of honourable colour.
She seemed still girlish, as she took the August Prince in her arms
and gave him to the Lord Prime Minister who was within the dais. He
came out quietly and they were plainly seen in the flickering light
of the torches. It was very lovely. The August Prince was dressed in
red brocade with shaded skirt--exquisitely pretty. The Mochi[66] was
given to him by the Lord Prime Minister. The seats of the courtiers had
been prepared at the west side of the east building; there were two
ministers present. They came out onto the bridge and were very drunk
and boisterous.
As the torches burnt low, the Major-General of the Fourth Rank was
called to light lanterns. Boxes and baskets of food,[67] the Prime
Minister's gifts, were borne in by the attendants and piled up on the
balcony near the railing. Some of the boxes were to be taken to the
King's kitchen, and as the next day was to be a day of abstinence for
religious devotion they were carried away at once.
[Illustration: ROYAL DAIS AND KICHŌ, SUDARÉ, ETC.]
The Queen's First Officer came to the misu and asked if the court
nobles should be invited there. As the answer was "yes," every one
came led by the Prime Minister, and approached the east door. Ladies
stood in two or three rows; the misu was rolled up by those who were
nearest it, Lady Dainagon, Lady Koshosho, and others. The Minister of
the Right came dancing wildly and made a hole in the kichō behind which
ladies were sitting. They laughed, saying, "He has long passed the age
for that." He did not notice, but made a great many unbecoming jokes,
taking away ladies' fans. The August Prince's First Officer took a saké
cup[68] and stepped out; he sung a song; although it was unaccompanied
by dancing it was very delightful. Farther towards the east, leaning
against a door-post, the General of the Right was standing, studying
the ladies' sleeves and the skirts of their garments showing below
the misu. He is different from other men. The ladies, thinking that
after all the intoxicated men were only trying to seem young and
irresistible, made light of their behavior and said, "It is nothing,
nobody else will behave so." Compared with such men the General is far
superior. He was afraid of the saké cup, and when it came to him passed
it by, singing the song which begins "One Thousand and Ten Thousand
Ages." The First Officer of the Light Bodyguard said, "I think Lady
Murasaki must be somewhere here!" I listened, thinking, "How can she
be here in a place where there is no such graceful person as Prince
Genji?"[69] The Minister of the Right said, "Sanmi-no-Suké [officer
of the third rank], accept this cup!" When the officer came out from
below the Lord Keeper of the seal [an inferior position] the drunken
man wept. The King's Adviser, leaning in a corner, was flirting with
Lady Hyobu. The Prime Minister did not forbid even unmentionable jokes.
It was an awful night of carousal, so after the ceremony I signalled
to Lady Saisho and we hid ourselves, but there came noisily the Prime
Minister's sons and Lieutenant-General Saisho, so, although we two had
remained hidden behind the screen, even this was taken away and we were
captives. "Compose a poem each, and you shall be excused," said the
Lord Prime Minister. I was frightened and helpless, and made haste to
comply:
_How can I number the years of the Prince!_
_One thousand, nay, eight thousand, may he live, and more._
"Well done!" said he, reciting it twice, and he answered immediately:
_O would I might live the life of a crane--_
_Then might I reckon the years of the Prince_
_Up to one thousand!_
He was much intoxicated, but the poem had feeling, for it came from
his innermost desire. The child cherished in this way will have a very
bright future. Even such as I can imagine the thousand prosperous years
of His August Highness! He felt satisfied with his own poem and said,
"Has Your Majesty heard the poem? I have made a poem!" and then--"I am
worthy to be your father and you are worthy to be my daughter--Mother
is smiling, she must think she is happy. She may be thinking she has
got a good husband!" said he in extreme intoxication. As is usual with
drunken persons all were listening. His wife seemed to be embarrassed
by this conversation and retired. "Mother will be angry if I do not
follow her," said he, and went through the dais hurriedly, muttering,
"Excuse me, Your Majesty, but a child is adored because of its father!"
and everybody laughed.
The day for the Queen's return to the palace approaches and her ladies
have no tranquil hours because of continual ceremonies. Her Majesty had
had blank books made, so from early morning I was summoned to attend
her to arrange the paper and to write letters which were sent with the
books and the romances to be copied. I also spent days in compiling
these into books. "What fancy is this? Why do you do such things these
chilly days?" the Lord Prime Minister said, but he himself brought out
fine papers, brushes and ink, and even writing-boxes. These were given
to the ladies by the Queen's own hand. They were bashful, but excuses
were in vain, and they went into corners and composed and came back
blushing, saying, "I have done this," only to be given more brushes
and ink. I had brought my romances from home and hidden them in my
own room, but one day the Prime Minister entered it secretly to hunt
about and found them and gave them to the first lady-in-waiting. As the
books are not at all clearly written, I am ashamed to think what their
opinion must be.[70]
The infant Prince begins to babble and crow. His Majesty is naturally
impatient to have him. The waterfowl have begun to come more and more
to the pond before the house.
I longed for snow while we were staying there, but just then I had to
go home to my parents. Two days after retiring from the Court a great
snow came. The old familiar trees of my home reminded me of those
melancholy years when I used to gaze upon them musing when the colours
of flowers, the voices of birds, the skies of Spring and Autumn, moon
shadows, frost and snow, told me nothing but that time was revolving,
and that I was menaced with a dreary future. Before I went to Court I
tried to avoid sadness by writing to those who were in the same state
of mind, even to those with whom I was only slightly acquainted, and
associating with them I consoled my heart in various ways. Although
an unimportant person I had passed my life without feeling any sort
of contempt of myself until I went to Court--since then, alas! I have
experienced all the bitterness of it. To-day I took out romances,
but they no longer interested me. I was ashamed to think what those
melancholy persons to whom I used to write had thought of me since I
went to Court, so I had no courage to write to them again. Those with
whom I am now intimate would have to publish my letters broadcast,
so how can I write to them my inmost heart?--thus my letters have
inadvertently grown few. I had a feeling that association with some of
the younger ladies who used to visit me before I went to Court could
not continue. Some of them I had to refuse when they came, and in my
home all these trifles have made me feel more deeply that I have gone
into a world not intended for me. I write only to those from whom I can
never part, to whom my heart prompts me to speak. O worthless heart,
that feels love only for those with whom it daily associates! I long
for Lady Dainagon with whom I spent every night before the Queen, when
we told each other all our heart's secrets--is it also my worldly heart
that longs for a companion other than Buddha?
_Like two wild ducks_
_Floating with unrestful slumber,_
_Yet even those nights I would recall--_
_Feathers wet and cold--_
_But colder tears!_
Lady Dainagon returned this answer:
_Midnight sleep was broken_
_But no friend to brush away the cold tears!_
_I envy the Oshidori[71] which has ever its mate by its side._
Her handwriting is very elegant. She is a very true-hearted person.
A lady wrote me, "The Queen has seen the snow, and she regrets deeply
that you are not here at Court." The Prime Minister's Lady wrote to me,
"When I tried to stop your going away you said you would go at once
that you might come back soon. Was not that true?--for many days have
passed." She may not have been in earnest, yet as I received such a
letter I went back to the Court.
It was on the seventeenth of the Frost month that the Queen went
back to the palace. The time had been fixed for eight o'clock in
the evening, but the night was far advanced. I could not see more
than thirty ladies who tied up their hair. To the east balcony of
the Queen's apartments came more than ten ladies-in-waiting from His
Majesty's Court [to escort the Queen]. Her Majesty's senji [woman who
repeats the Queen's words to outsiders] went in Her Majesty's coach
with her. The Lord Prime Minister's wife and Lady Sen, the nurse,
holding the August Infant in her arms, went in a coach adorned with
silk fringes. Lady Dainagon and Lady Saisho were in a gold-studded
coach. In the next one went Lady Koshosho and Lady Miya-no-Naishi.
The Lieutenant-General of His Majesty's stud was in the next one. I
was to go in that one. His manner expressed dissatisfaction with so
mean a companion and I was much discomposed. Lady Jiyu, Ben-no-Naishi,
Lady Saémon, the Prime Minister's first attendant, and Lady Shikibu
went in their proper order in their palanquins. As it was bright
moonlight I was greatly embarrassed, and in the palace I followed
the Lieutenant-General not knowing where I trod. If some one had
been _looking at me from behind_ [Japanese expression signifying
"gossiping about or criticizing"], I must have been ashamed indeed.
[Illustration: A NOBLEMAN'S CARRIAGE]
I passed that night in the third little room on the corridor of the
Kokiden.[72] Lady Koshosho came and we talked of the sadness of our
lives. We took off our kimonos and put on doubly wadded ones, and
making a fire in an incense-burner we were complaining of the cold when
the Chamberlain and the State Councillor and Lieutenant-General Kinnobu
came to inquire for us. I wished I might have been entirely forgotten
this evening. It annoyed more than it pleased us; nevertheless, as
they had come to make inquiries, I said: "To-morrow I will return
the compliment and go to inquire after you. To-night I am shivering
with cold." Saying these words we secretly stole away from that room.
Some were now preparing to go back to their homes; we thought them to
be some of the lower officials. I do not say this as comparing them
with myself. By the way, Lady Koshosho is very noble in character and
beautiful, but I notice she is thinking sadly of the World.[73] One
reason is her father's rather humble rank which makes good fortune
delay to come to her.
This morning Her Majesty saw in detail last evening's presents from
the Prime Minister. The hair ornaments in a case were more lovely than
words can express. There were a pair of salvers. On one of them were
poem papers and bound blank books. On the other were the poetical
collections of the Kokinshu, Gosenshu, and Juishu.[74] Each was bound
in five volumes. The copyists of these volumes were the King's Adviser
and attendant of middle rank and Enkwan.[75] The covers were of thin
figured silk; the fastenings of braided silk of the same material.
They were fitted into a basket. There were also ancient and modern
poetical collections of various families, such as those of Yoshinobu
and Motosuké. The copies made by Enkwan[75] and Chikazumi[75] were kept
for the Queen's private use. They were made in the new fashion.
On the twentieth day of the Frost month the dance of Gosetchi[76]
was performed. A costume was given to the young lady whom the
King's attendant and State Councillor offered for the dance. The
Lieutenant-General asked for a garland for his dancer, which was given.
At the same time a box of perfume ornamented with artificial leaves
and plum blossoms was given her. As the arrangements had been made
a long time beforehand this year, there was great rivalry among the
dancers. Torches were lighted in close rows along the outer doors of
the eastern veranda so there was day-brightness, and it was really
awkward to walk there. I felt for the girls, but it was not they only
who were embarrassed. Young nobles looked at the girls face to face,
almost bringing the lights down in front of them. They tried to draw a
curtain before themselves, but in vain, and the nobles' eyes were still
on them. My heart throbs even at the memory of it.
The helpers[77] of courtier Narito's daughter were dressed in brocaded
karaginu, which was distinctive and pleasing even at night. She was
overwhelmed by her dress and her movements were ungraceful, yet the
nobles paid her special attention. The King came to see the dance. The
Lord Prime Minister, too, crept in from the side entrance, so we felt
constraint.
The helpers of Nakakyo's daughter were all of the same height. They
were graceful and charming, and people agreed that they were not
inferior to any ladies.
The State Councillor and Lieutenant-General had all his maids as
helpers of his daughter. One of them was ungraceful, being fat and
countrified, so all were laughing at her. The daughter of Tō [State
Councillor] gave a fresh and distinct impression because of her
family.[78] She had ten helpers.
The ladies who were proud of their good looks seemed more beautiful in
this artificial light.
On the morning of the day of the Tiger[79] the courtiers assembled.
Although it is a common custom to have the dance, the younger ones were
especially curious to see the dancers. Was it because they had acquired
rude country manners during these months of absence from the Court?
There the dress dyed by rubbing the leaves of the indigo plant was not
to be seen. When night came the second official of the Crown Prince was
summoned and perfumes were bestowed upon him. Quantities of it were
heaped up in a large box.
That night the dance was performed in the Seiry-oden.[80] The King was
present to see it. The Prime Minister's wife sent a messenger to the
Governor of Owari.
As the August young Prince was to be present, rice was thrown to keep
off evil spirits, and people reviled them [the spirits] and called them
names. It gave us a queer feeling. I was weary and wanted to rest a
little, so I remained in our chamber thinking to present myself when
it should be necessary. Lady Kohyoé and Lady Kohyobu sat beside the
brazier. We were saying that the hall was crowded and nothing could
be seen distinctly, when the Lord Prime Minister came in. "Why do you
stay here? Come with us!" so we went reluctantly. I watched the dancers
thinking how tired they must be, and what a heavy task they had before
them. The daughter of the Governor of Owari became ill and retired.
Human fate is like a dream, it seems! After the dance His Majesty
retired.
Young noblemen talk of nothing these days but the rooms of those
dancers.[81] Even the borders of the curtains hanging over the sudaré
were varied according to the taste of the dancer. Their hair-dressing
and their style also varied extremely, so the young men talked about
that, and more improper things too. Even in ordinary years [when there
was no unusual festivity] the dancing girls' hearts are always filled
with anxiety, how much more so this year. While I was thinking about it
they came out in single file. My heart swelled with sympathy. It may
be they have no great patrons to depend on who could protect them. As
they are all chosen for their beauty all are attractive, and it would
be difficult to say which is superior to the other, although the man
of fashion may perhaps perceive differences. In this brilliant light
they may not even shade their faces with their fans. They are placed
in rivalry with each other in rank, in prudence, and in wit, and must
struggle each to excel the other, although at the same time they feel
shyness in the presence of the young men. Surrounded by the young
nobles, they are forced to hold their own among them worthily. I feel
sorry for them.
Governor Tamba's daughter wore a darkish blue gown. The State
Councillor Tō's daughter wore red. The maids of the latter wore the
blue karaginu of a girl and were so beautiful that they made us women
jealous. One girl did not seem at all dignified. The daughter of the
State Councillor and Lieutenant-General was tall and had beautiful
hair. Her attendants wore deep-coloured clothes trimmed with five folds
and their outer garments were varied according to taste. The last
girl wore a plain grape-coloured one, and that simple dress was more
beautiful, as it showed taste in colour combination.
The secretaries of the sixth rank went towards them to take away their
fans. They threw them down themselves. Though they were graceful they
did not seem like girls. If we were in their places it would seem like
a dream to us. I had never supposed I should mingle with these court
ladies! Yet the human heart is an invisible and dreadful being. If I
became accustomed to [court life] my bashfulness would be overcome and
I could easily stand face to face with men. As if in a vision my future
appeared to me, and such a state of things appeared to me undesirable.
My mind was greatly troubled and I could observe nothing.
The apartment temporarily given to the dancer who was the daughter
of the King's Adviser and State Councillor was just across the way
[in the building of another queen, see map of palace] on the corridor
opposite to that of our Queen. A part of the sudaré of that room was
in sight above the outer shutter, although we could hear voices but
faintly. The State Councillor and Lieutenant-General, who knew about it
all, said, "There are ladies called Sakyō and Uma who once served that
Queen over there." "It was Sakyō who sat in the eastern part of the
hall last night as a helper of a certain young lady who danced," said
Genshosho, who knew her. Some of our Queen's ladies chanced to overhear
these remarks. "How extraordinary! Yet she must remember old times,"
said they; "how is it possible that a former lady-in-waiting should
return to the court as a maid? She may be thinking it will never be
known, but we will one day bring it to light!"
Our ladies may have been scheming for this when they chose among the
multitude of fans kept by the Queen those representing the Island of
Horai[82]--did she feel it, I wonder?
Ground-pine [Lycopodium] was made into a wreath and put into a
box-cover [probably of a writing-box, in those days large and elegantly
lacquered]. A comb and face-powder were put in also, for the young
courtiers had said, "that lady, who is rather advanced in years, wears
a curved comb suitable for a young lady." So the comb which was put
into the box was curved too much in the vulgar new fashion with perfume
balls clumsily covered with paper. A poem was added to it written by
Lady Saifu:
_Among the many ladies that night of the dance_
_The belle was the one who wore the lycopodium._
The Queen said: "If you are going to send at all, send something
clever, here are many fans for it." But some ladies replied: "That
will attract too much attention. It is too unusual. If you send this
publicly you will not succeed in puzzling her; perhaps we would better
send it anonymously." Therefore a lady who was an entire stranger to
her was chosen. She went, and, speaking loudly, said: "Here is a letter
from Lady Chunagon. It is sent by her Queen to Lady Sakyō." I thought
it would be awkward if the messenger were caught by them, but she ran
away as soon as she had put down the things. She reported that she
heard some one saying, "Whence do you come?" There is no doubt she
really thought it a gift from our Queen.
Days passed without any interesting events. After that evening of
dancing the Court became absolutely dull. The preparatory music on the
eve of the Omi ceremony[83] was very fine. The young courtiers were
still filled with thoughts of the dancers. After the Queen's return
to the palace, the little sons of another wife of the Prime Minister
were permitted to come in to play with the ladies-in-waiting. They
came to us without end, which was a great bother. I did not show myself
to them, taking advantage of my advanced age. They were not thinking
of the dancers, but were playing by the side of Ladies Yasurahi and
Kohyoé, joking and chattering like little birds.
At the occasional festival of the Kamo shrine the
Vice-Lieutenant-General [first son of the Prime Minister] was made
the King's substitute. It was a day of fasting also, so the Lord
Prime Minister had passed the night at the palace. The nobles and
dancers passed the night of the festival in making a great noise
with much merriment in the corridors. Next morning an attendant of
the Chamberlain brought something to an attendant of the Lord Prime
Minister. It was the box-cover of the previous night.[84] There was in
it a silver case for romances, besides a mirror, a comb of aloe wood,
and a silver kogai. The comb seemed to be given to adorn the hair of
the messenger at the festival. Something was written on the box-cover
in reed style in raised characters. It was the answer to the poem of
the lycopodium. Two characters were omitted and it was difficult to
read. She seemed to have misunderstood. The Chamberlain thought it
really was a gift to her from our Queen, so the return was made thus
openly. It was but a foolish joke and I felt sorry for her.
The Prime Minister's wife came to court to see the festival. His son,
adorning his head with artificial wisteria, appeared quite a man, noble
and dignified. The Lady Kura [his nurse], not taking any notice of the
dancers, wept for joy watching her young lord. As it was still the day
of fasting, they came back from the shrine at two in the morning, and
the sacred dance was performed listlessly, as the important persons
were absent. Kanetoki [a dancer] who had been very handsome last year,
was much fallen off. Though a stranger to him I felt regret, being
reminded of the fleeting life of us all.
[Here an interval occurs.]
On the twentieth of the Finishing month I went again to Court. It was
the anniversary of the day on which I had first come. I remembered my
former career as a wanderer on dream paths, and I loathed myself for
having become so familiar with court life. The night was far advanced
and as the Queen was fasting, we did not present ourselves before her.
I felt lonely and was lying down. The maids-of-honour around me said:
"The hours here are very different from those at home. There all would
be sleeping by this time, but here our dreams are broken by the sound
of shoes along the corridor." Hearing them girlishly talking I murmured
to myself:
_My life and the year are closing together._
_At the sound of the wind dreary is my heart._
On that moon-hidden night [last night of the year] the driving off of
evil spirits was soon finished. We dyed our teeth [black], and after
finishing decorating our faces we sat at ease. Ben-no-Naishi came, and
after talking she went to sleep. The Queen's seamstress sat in the
doorway watching the maid Ateki sewing. Just then we heard an unusual
noise from the direction of Her Majesty's apartment. I tried to wake up
Ben-no-Naishi, but she was heavy with sleep. Some one was heard crying
wildly. I was frightened and could not think what to do. Was it a fire?
But no, it was not that. I pushed the seamstress forward, saying, "Go
there! over there! Oh, dear!!" Then, "Her Majesty is in her own room,
we must by all means get to her!" I shook Ben-no-Naishi roughly to
awaken her and we three ran trembling--flying rather than walking. We
saw two naked persons. They were Lady Yugei and Lady Kohyobé. It seemed
that they had been robbed of their clothes, and I felt more distressed
than before. The kitchen servants had all gone out; even the Queen's
guards had retired after devil-driving. We clapped our hands, but no
one came. Some went to call the women attendants, while I, forgetting
my shyness, said, "Call Hyobu-no-Jo, the secretary." He was sought
for, but had left the palace. I felt irritated indeed, but at last an
assistant to the Master of Ceremonies came who poured oil into several
lamps. We found many who had fainted. At the news a messenger arrived
from the King, but we were too frightened to receive him properly.
He took out dresses from the royal wardrobe to give them. The new
dresses for New Year's Day were not stolen, so these ladies took their
misfortune lightly--but unforgettably dreadful is a nude form. I can
never call it laughable. It was too dreadful to speak of, but we could
not help talking.
The New Year's Day [1008] was inauspicious. The rice-cake [mochi] [85]
ceremony was deferred. However, on the third day, the August Crown
Prince went up to the King and the rice-cake festival was given for
him. His attendant was Lady Dainagon. The dress of the ladies on the
first day was karaginu of purple and old rose colour, red kimono and
shaded train; on the second day, red and purple brocade, deep violet
glossy silk, green karaginu, train dyed by rubbing flowers. On the
third day we wore white and rose-coloured brocaded garments, trimmed
with many folds. The karaginu was of dull red and old rose brocade.
When we wear deep violet-coloured shining silk the inner robe is of
crimson; when we wear crimson outside the inner dress is usually
of deep violet. The pale and deep colour of spring leaf buds, dull
red, golden yellow, and light and dark crimsons--dresses of these
ordinary colours were worn trimmed with six folds in very beautiful
combinations.[86]
Lady Saisho held the August Prince's honourable sword. The Lord
Prime Minister took the August Prince in his arms and they presented
themselves before the King. Lady Saisho's dress was a garment trimmed
with three and five folds, and figured of the same colour trimmed
with seven folds. The uchigi was adorned with a pattern of oak-leaves
beautifully embroidered. She wore a karaginu and train trimmed
with three folds. Her unlined inner kimono was woven in a pattern.
Her costume was in the Chinese style. Her hair was ornamented more
elaborately than usual. Her style of dress and manner showed great
knowledge of the world. She is rather tall and has a well-rounded
figure. Her face is very small and exquisitely tinted.
[The following eleven paragraphs are portraits of prominent ladies of
the court.]
LADY DAINAGON is very small and refined, white, beautiful, and round,
though in demeanour very lofty. Her hair is three inches longer than
her height. She uses exquisitely carved hairpins. Her face is lovely,
her manners delicate and charming.
LADY SENJI is also a little person, and haughty. Her hair is fine and
glossy and one foot longer than the ordinary. She puts us to shame, her
carriage is so noble. When she walks before us we feel so much in the
shade that we are uncomfortable. Her mind and speech make us feel that
a really noble person ought to be like her.
--If I go on describing ladies' manners I shall be called an old
gossip, so I must refrain from talking about those around me. I will be
silent about the questionable and imperfect.
LADY KOSHOSHO, all noble and charming. She is like a weeping-willow
tree at budding-time. Her style is very elegant and we all envy her
her manners. She is so shy and retiring that she seems to hide her
heart even from herself. She is of childlike purity even to a painful
degree--should there be a low-minded person who would treat her ill or
slander her, her spirit would be overwhelmed and she would die. Such
delicacy and helplessness make us anxious about her.
LADY MIYA-NO-NAISHI, also a beauty of good height. Her appearance as
she sits is very dignified. She is fashionable. Although no single
feature is especially beautiful she has altogether an air of youth and
beauty. Her face is [literal translation] high in the middle and she
excels others in the fairness of her skin. Her hair-ornaments, her
forehead, oh, beautiful! produce an effect of refinement and elegance.
She is very frank and unaffected in manner, and never the least bit
awkward about anything. She is naturalness itself. Her character may be
an example for us. She never tries consciously to attract, and she has
no vanity.
LADY SHIKIBU is her younger sister. She is too plump, and her
complexion is a fragrant white. She has a bright small face and
beautiful hair, although it is not long. She presents herself before
the Queen with false hair. Her plump appearance, oh, smile-giving! Her
eyes and forehead are lovely indeed; her smile is full of sweetness.
Among the younger ladies I think KODAYU and GENSHIKIBU are beautiful.
The former is a little person quite modern in type. Her pretty hair
is abundant at the roots, but gets too thin at the end, which is one
foot longer than she is. Her face is full of wit. People will think her
very pretty, and indeed there is no feature one would wish to improve.
The latter is tall and rather superior. Her features are fine; she
is smile-giving and lovable. She is very refined and seems to be a
favourite daughter of some person of dignity.
LADY KOHYOÉ-NO-JO is also refined. These ladies cannot be looked down
upon by court nobles. With every one some fault is to be found, but
only those who are ever mindful to conceal it _even when alone,_ can
completely succeed.
LADY ATTENDANT MYAKI is a very pretty person. Her hair is scarcely
longer than her uchigi, the ends are beautifully cut. Her face was
agreeable also when I last saw it.
There is also LADY GOSETCHI-NO-BEN.[87] She is the adopted daughter
of Middle Adviser Hei. Her face is like a picture. She has a broad
forehead and eyelids drooping at the corners. Her features are not
remarkable at any point, but her complexion is white, her hands and
arms are pretty. When I saw her in the spring for the first time her
hair, which was profusely abundant, was one foot longer than herself,
but it suddenly became thinner at the ends, and now it is only a little
longer than she is.
A LADY KOMA had very long hair, an agreeable lady in those days; now
she has become like the bridge of a lute which has been immovably
fastened with glue. She has gone home.
So much for their appearance and now for their dispositions. Here few
can be selected, though each has some good points and few are entirely
bad. It is very difficult to possess such qualities as prudence, wit,
charm, right-mindedness, all at once. As to many ladies, the question
is whether they excel most in charms of mind or person. It is hard to
decide! Wicked, indeed, to write so much of others!
There is LADY CHUJO who waits upon the Princess dedicated to the
service of the Kamo shrine. I had heard of her and secretly managed to
see her letters addressed to other persons. They were very beautifully
written but with such an exalted opinion of herself; in the whole world
she is the person of profoundest knowledge! None to compare with her,
it seems she is thinking. On reading them my heart beat faster, I was
furiously indignant for every one here [the ladies of her own Queen's
Court], although it maybe it is wrong to feel so. "Be it in composition
or poetry who can judge save our Princess-Abbess, who will have bright
futures but the ladies attending our Princess?"!! It may be reasonable,
yet I have never seen, compared to ours, any good poems by the lady
attendants of that Princess-Abbess. They seem to be living an idle
poetic life, but if they were to compete with us, it is not necessarily
certain they would be superior, though no one knows them well. On a
beautiful moonlight night or morning, at the time of flowers or of
cuckoo, courtiers might visit their residence. Other-worldly and sacred
it is, and made to the taste of their Princess. There they remain
undisturbed, admiring her. On the other hand, with us many things
occur. The Queen has to go up to His Majesty's apartment, the Lord
Prime Minister comes, and we have to keep watch at night. But there is
nothing of all this in that world all their own where they may indulge
in elegance and avoid blunders. If I could live there like an old
piece of buried wood thrown in among them, I might succeed in freeing
myself from the reproach of shallowness--would that I might indulge in
elegance there, relaxing myself! Forward young ladies there can devote
themselves to dress, making themselves inferior to none and pleasing to
courtiers. On the other hand, in our Queen's Court we rather neglect to
adorn ourselves, for our Queen has no rivals now. Moreover, she thinks
unfavourably of frivolous women, so those who wish to serve her and
remain in favour keep from association with men. Of course everywhere
there are light-hearted, unashamed, thoughtless women, and men who
visit our court to find them say we are awkward and unversed in social
usage. Our ladies of the higher ranks are, indeed, much too reserved
and haughty; it is not in this way that they can bring honour to our
Queen. It is painful to see them. The attendants of the Princess-Abbess
seem to have been alluding to these ladies, but both defects and merits
are found in every one, so we may not be inferior to them after all.
Even our young ladies nowadays have heard of self-respect. It would be
embarrassing if they were too frivolous, but one would not wish them to
be heartless either.
Our Queen of perfect mind, enviably lovely, is reserved and never
obtrusive, for she believes that few who are forward can avoid
blunders. In fact, imperfect wit is worse than reserve. Our Queen when
she was very young was much annoyed to hear persons of shallow culture
saying vulgar, narrow things with conceit, so she favoured ladies who
made no mistakes, and childlike persons pleased her very well. This is
why our ladies have become so retiring. As Her Majesty grows older,
she begins to see the world as it is, the bad and good qualities of
the human heart. Reserve or boldness--she knows neither is good. The
court nobles rather look down on us--"Nothing interesting here!" they
seem to say. The Queen knows this, but she knows we cannot please
everybody. If we stumble, hideous things may happen. Yet we must not
be faint-hearted and bashful either, so Her Majesty says, but our old
habits are not so easily shaken off, and all the young nobles of the
present day are, on their side, only indulgent pleasure-seekers.
The ladies around the Abbess, who indulge in æsthetic pursuits, gazing
at the moon and admiring flowers, may talk only of these things to the
nobles, boastfully and intentionally, and the nobles might say that it
is difficult to find ladies with whom they can chatter light-heartedly
morning or evening, or discuss interesting topics occasionally;
although, as I haven't heard them say it, I don't know really what they
think. In general conversation it is awkward to say profound things. It
is far better to speak with simplicity, and the nobles seem to think
so. The difficulty is to understand the occasion and adapt one's self
to it.
When the First Official of Her Majesty comes to report to her, the
delicate, shy ladies-in-waiting cannot meet him on common ground, or
converse fluently, not because they are deficient in words or thoughts,
but because of their extreme timidity. They fear their faults may be
noticed so they cannot decide what to say. Others [Abbess ladies] may
not be so. Even women of high birth must follow the general custom when
they become ladies-in-waiting at the Court, but many behave as if they
were still daughters at home.
The Great Adviser[88] is displeased to be received by ladies of low
rank, so when he comes to the Queen's court to make some report
and suitable ladies to receive him are not available, he goes away
without seeing Her Majesty. Other court nobles, who often come to make
reports, have each a favourite lady, and when that one is away they are
displeased, and go away saying to other people, that the Queen's ladies
are quite unsatisfactory. There may be some reason in it, yet it is
quite unreasonable for the Abbess's ladies to say that we are unworthy
to be seen or heard. It is easy to criticize, and difficult to realize
our own ideals. These ladies, however, do not know that, and being full
of conceit, they treat others with disdain, thus revealing their own
limitations. Oh, how I wanted to show the letters to the Queen, but
they had been stolen by the lady who secretly showed them to me, and
they were soon taken back. I coveted those letters!
LADY IZUMI SHIKIBU[89] corresponds charmingly, but her behaviour is
improper indeed. She writes with grace and ease and with a flashing
wit. There is fragrance even in her smallest words. Her poems are
attractive, but they are only improvisations which drop from her mouth
spontaneously. Every one of them has some interesting point, and she is
acquainted with ancient literature also, but she is not like a true
artist who is filled with the genuine spirit of poetry. Yet I think
even she cannot presume to pass judgment on the poems of others.
The wife of the Governor of Tamba Province is called by the Queen
and Prime Minister MASA HIRA EMON.[90] Though she is not of noble
birth, her poems are very satisfying. She does not compose and scatter
them about on every occasion, but so far as we know them, even her
miscellaneous poems shame us. Those who compose poems whose loins are
all but broken, yet who are infinitely self-exalted and vain, deserve
our contempt and pity.
LADY SEISHONAGON.[91] A very proud person. She values herself highly,
and scatters her Chinese writings all about. Yet should we study her
closely, we should find that she is still imperfect. She tries to be
exceptional, but naturally persons of that sort give offence. She is
piling up trouble for her future. One who is too richly gifted, who
indulges too much in emotion, even when she ought to be reserved, and
cannot turn aside from anything she is interested in, in spite of
herself will lose self-control. How can such a vain and reckless person
end her days happily!
[Here there is a sudden change from the Court to her own home.]
Having no excellence within myself, I have passed my days without
making any special impression on any one. Especially the fact that I
have no man who will look out for my future makes me comfortless. I do
not wish to bury myself in dreariness. Is it because of my worldly mind
that I feel lonely? On moonlight nights in autumn, when I am hopelessly
sad, I often go out on the balcony and gaze dreamily at the moon. It
makes me think of days gone by. People say that it is dangerous to look
at the moon[92] in solitude, but something impels me, and sitting a
little withdrawn I muse there. In the wind-cooled evening I play on the
koto,[93] though others may not care to hear it. I fear that my playing
betrays the sorrow which becomes more intense, and I become disgusted
with myself--so foolish and miserable am I.
My room is ugly, blackened by smoke. I play on a thirteen or
six-stringed koto, but I neglect to take away the bridges even in
rainy weather, and I lean it up against the wall between the cabinet
and the door jamb. On either side of the koto stands a lute [Japanese
biwa]. A pair of big bookcases have in them all the books they can
hold. In one of them are placed old poems and romances. They are the
homes of worms which come frightening us when we turn the pages, so
none ever wish to read them. [Perhaps her own writings, she speaks so
slightingly of them.] As to the other cabinet, since the person[94] who
placed his own books [there] no hand has touched it. When I am bored
to death I take out one or two of them; then my maids gather around me
and say: "Your life will not be favoured with old age if you do such
a thing! Why do you read Chinese? Formerly even the reading of sutras
was not encouraged for women." They rebuke me in the [shade i.e. behind
my back]. I have heard of it and have wished to say, "It is far from
certain that he who does no forbidden thing enjoys a long life," but
it would be a lack of reserve to say it [to the maids]. Our deeds vary
with our age and deeds vary with the individual. Some are proud [to
read books], others look over old cast-away writings because they are
bored with having nothing to do. It would not be becoming for such a
one to chatter away about religious thoughts, noisily shaking a rosary.
I feel this, and before my women keep myself from doing what otherwise
I could do easily. But after all, when I was among the ladies of the
Court I did not say what I wanted to say either, for it is useless to
talk with those who do not understand one and troublesome to talk with
those who criticize from a feeling of superiority. Especially one-sided
persons are troublesome. Few are accomplished in many arts and most
cling narrowly to their own opinion.
Pretty and coy, shrinking from sight, unsociable, proud, fond of
romance, vain and poetic, looking down upon others with a jealous
eye--such is the opinion of those who do not know me, but after seeing
me they say, "You are wonderfully gentle to meet with; I cannot
identify you with that imagined one."
I see that I have been slighted, hated, and looked down upon as an old
gossip, and I must bear it, for it is my destiny to be solitary. The
Queen said once, "You were ever mindful not to show your soul, but I
have become more intimate with you than others." I hope that I may not
be looked at obliquely even by those who are ill-natured, affected,
and unsociable. As a rule one is easy at the back [i.e. not afraid of
gossip] who is modest, gentle, and of tranquil disposition. Even a
coquettish and frivolous person is not rebuked if she is good-natured
and of a disposition not embarrassing to others. A person who is
self-exalted and eccentric with scornful mouth and demeanor can be
unmistakably perceived, and one can be on one's guard; by observing
closely one may discover faults of speech and behaviour. Those whose
words and deeds are not in harmony, or who are always trying to outdo
one another, attract notice. One seldom wishes to criticize those who
have defects, but are good-natured. One cannot but sympathize with
them. Those who habitually do evil with intention deserve to be freely
talked about and laughed at even though sometimes they do it without
intention. We ought to love even those who hate us, but it is very
difficult to do it. Even the Buddha of Profound Mercy does not say that
the sins against Buddha, the laws of religion, and priests, are slight.
Moreover, in this muddy world it is best to let alone the persons
who hate us. If we compare one who tries to excel in hatred saying
extraordinary words and watching [their effect] ill-humouredly face to
face, with one who coldly hides her heart with a tranquil manner, we
can see which is superior.
There is a lady, Saémon-no-Naishi, who unreasonably cherished hatred of
me. I was not at first aware of it, but later heard of much criticism
of me in my absence. Once the King was listening to a reading of
my Genji-monogatari, and said, "She is gifted, she must have read
the Chronicle of Japan." This lady heard of it, and unreflectingly
spread abroad among the courtiers the idea that I am very proud of my
learning, giving me the name of "The Japanese Chronicle lady"--it is
laughable, indeed! I am reserved even before the maids of my own house;
how then should I show my learning in Court? When my elder brother
Shikibu-no-Jo was a boy he was taught to read "Chinese Historical
Records."[95] I listened, sitting beside him, and learned wonderfully
fast, though he was sometimes slow and forgot. Father, who was devoted
to study, regretted that I had not been a son, but I heard people
saying that it is not beautiful even for a man to be proud of his
learning, and after that I did not write so much as the figure one
in Chinese. I grew clumsy with my [writing] brush. For a long time I
did not care for the books I had already read. Thus I was ashamed to
think how others would hate me on hearing what Lady Saémon said, and I
assumed an air of not being able to read the characters written on the
Royal screen. But the Queen made me read [to her] the poetical works
of Li T'ai Po, and as she wished to learn them I have been teaching
her since the Summer of two years ago the second and third volumes
of that collection very secretly when none were present. Her Majesty
and I tried to conceal it, but His Majesty the King and the Lord
Prime Minister finding it out, the latter presented to the Queen many
poetical books which he had had copied. I think that bitter Saémon does
not know it yet. If she did, how she would criticize me!
Everything in this world is burdensome. Now I shall not be afraid
whatever happens. Whatever others may say of me I will recite sutras
kneeling before Amitabha Buddha.[96] When my mind has become completely
free from the burden of the world, nothing will weaken my determination
to become a saint. Though I set myself devotedly against worldly
passions, it seems that there extends before me a limbo of dull
wanderings before I can mount the cloud.[97] I must be there now. I
am now of a fit age for the religious life. It is common to suppose
that men read sutras when they are old, yet really they are not read,
for minds grow more and more relax with age. I may be interpreted as
one who imitates persons of profound thought, but I will devote myself
to the religious life. The person of deep-rooted sin cannot succeed
even in such a hope [as that]. There happens many a circumstance which
makes me think of the [probable] wickedness of my prenatal life and
everything makes me sad.
[There seems to be an abrupt transition here and the following
paragraph seems to be part of a letter, perhaps sent with the diary or
other writing.]
I wish I could make known everything to you, good and bad, things of
the world, and those relating to my life--all that I could not write in
my letters. You could not expect such writing as this from your friend?
You feel weary of life; please look into my heart, also weary. Please
write to me--even a little--whatever comes into your mind. It would be
very unfortunate if my writings were scattered about and made known to
others. I have written many things of this sort, but recently I have
torn up all my old writings, burying some, and making dolls' houses of
the rest. Since that time I have received no letters and am determined
to write no more on fresh paper, so thrifty have I become! I think I am
not in the wrong. After reading, please return quickly. As I could not
revise all there may be some defects; read--overlooking them.
My mind has been wholly occupied with the things and persons of our
world, and as I close this writing I reflect on how deeply rooted
was my interest in them, but it was only accident that closed my
descriptions of others.
[Here an interval during which she returns to Court.]
On the eleventh of the First month, 1009, in the early morning they
went to the temple. The Lord Prime Minister's wife accompanied the
Queen, others went by boat. I was belated and went at night. There
was preaching. People made confession according to the custom of the
mountain temple.[98] Many pictures of pagodas were painted, and they
amused themselves. Most of the nobles had retired, and there were
few persons left when the midnight preaching began. The preachers
and interpreters of the sutras were twenty in number.... [Here is a
sentence whose meaning is lost.] They all preached in different ways
about the merit of the Queen's presence; there were many things laughed
at. After the preaching the courtiers went boating; they all rowed and
enjoyed themselves. At the eastern corner of the temple a bridge had
been built opposite the door opening towards the North. There the High
Official of the Crown Prince was leaning against the railing. The Lord
Prime Minister came for a little while and talked with Lady Saisho, but
as we were in the Queen's presence we could not be at our ease. It was
pretty both within and without the temple. The pale moon appeared, and
young nobles sang songs of the new fashion. A song related that those
who had gone into the boat were young and pretty. The old Secretary
of the Treasury was among them. He was ashamed with reason to sing
with the others, and stood there rather embarrassed. The back view of
him was comical and those within the misu [i.e. the ladies] secretly
laughed. Some one said, "He in the boat is regretting old age." The
High Official on the bridge heard it and sang, "The ancient seekers
for eternal life--the tradition is full of lies."[99] It sounded very
latest fashion, indeed. Some sang "The Duckweed" accompanied by the
flute. Even the morning wind gave us unusual impressions because of the
place.
In the Queen's presence was placed Genji-monogatari. Once the Lord
Prime Minister saw it and after many playful words wrote to me on a
[poem] paper attached to a plum branch.
[The following poem depends for its point on the play upon a word with
two meanings.]
{ _love_
_Being notorious for_ { _sourness_
_I think none pass by without breaking a branch!_
[Her answer]
_No one in passing has ever broken the plum tree_
_Who then can know if it be sour?_
Oh, regrettable! to be spoken of in such a way! One night I slept in
a room near the corridor. Some one came knocking at the door. I was
afraid and passed the night without making a sound. The next morning
the following poem was sent me [from the Prime Minister]:
_All the night through, knocking louder than a water-rail,_
_I stood in vain at the door of hinoki wood_
_weary and lamenting._