remembering me, but that He has still enabled you to bear me upon
your heart in His presence. All is well with me, dear brother. Your
petitions have been heard and answered; I am happy and at peace. The
Lord has indeed manifested His tender care of and His great love
towards me in Jesus, in inclining my heart cheerfully to lay all I
have hitherto called my own, at His feet. It is a high privilege.
I write in haste to ask you (as we have now one purse) to receive the
money at a bank in Bristol; I will direct it to be sent in my name,
to be delivered into your hands. Etc."
As this whole circumstance is related only for the profit of the
reader, and as I knew that the sister still had my letters on the
subject in her possession, I wrote to her, requesting her to send
them to me, at the time when I published the last account about the
Orphan-House, etc. and extracts of them were given in the last
Report, in so far as they might refer to the subject or tend to
edification. These extracts are here reprinted. My reply to the above
was this:
21, Paul Street, Kingsdown, Bristol,
Dec. 6, 1842.
"My dear Sister,
"Your letter found me in peace, and did not in the least surprise me.
Dealing with God is a reality. Saints have power with Him through
Jesus. It is now forty-two days since you first mentioned this matter
to me. I cannot but admire the wisdom of God and His love to you in
allowing me to speak to you as I did [i.e. offering her to have one
purse with me; when I thought she had no earthly possessions at all],
that thus this great privilege might be bestowed upon you, to give up
this little sum for Him. Since that hour I have daily prayed for you,
and often thrice or more in the course of the day, that the Lord
would make you so happy in Himself, and help you with such faith to
lay hold on all which He has given you in Jesus, that you might be
constrained by love cheerfully to lay down this little sum at his
feet. Thus I prayed again at six oclock this morning for you. Nor
have I had the least doubt from the commencement, that the Lord did
hear my prayer; yea, so fully have I been assured that I had the
petition, that again and again I have thanked Him that He had
answered my prayer, before I saw you eighteen days since, and before
your letter came this morning. Moreover, I have been fully assured
since you were last here, that He was carrying on His work in your
soul with reference to this matter, and that no subtle suggestions of
Satan, nor educational prejudices, nor misinterpretations of the
Scriptures were able to prevail; for I had asked the Lord, by His
Spirit to overcome them in you, and that, if a brothers word should
be needed, He would be pleased to incline your heart to write to me:
and, as no letter came, I felt fully confident, you were going
forward in this matter in peace. When I had seen you this day six
weeks, and learned about this little sum, I determined, never to say
or write to you another word on the subject, but to leave you in the
hands of the Lord. Thus I purposed again during the last eighteen
days; for it was not the money given up, that I cared for in you, but
the money given up unto the Lord, and from right motives. On this
very account I advised you to wait one fortnight longer, though you
had come to the conclusion; but now, having done so, and seeing that
you are fully purposed in the Lord to be poor in this world indeed,
that the more abundantly you may enjoy His riches, His inexhaustible
riches, I change my advice. My word now, beloved sister, is this:
"Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might," and "If ye
know these things, happy are ye if ye do them."
Delay then no longer, even as also you have no desire to delay: and
the Lord will bless you abundantly in doing so, inasmuch as you do it
unto Him. As you desire to intrust me with this money, I do not
refuse it, knowing many ways to lay it out for Him. Etc." Then only
follows the direction how the money is to be paid into my bankers
hands.
On Dec. 18, 1842, I received a reply to my letter, which answer was
begun to be written on Dec. 8th, but finished on the 16th. I give a
few extracts of the letter: "Since I last saw you, dear brother, I
have not had the slightest doubt as to what I ought to do: the word
of God has been so clear to me on this head, that I have been kept
resting on it; and, in answer to your prayers, no temptation has been
allowed to prevail, indeed, I think I may add to arise. But I feel
that temptations may come, and that I may in seasons of trial not
always have faith to be able to rejoice in this privilege. My heart
is so deceitful and my faith so weak, that I shall greatly need your
prayers still. Will you then, if the Lord enables you, pray that I
may never offend my Father by regretting in the least measure this
act of obedience, which He has by His grace inclined me to carry out.
I shall pray the Lord still to lay me on your heart. I felt so sure,
that you were helped to pray for me, that I had thanked the Lord for
His grace. I am glad you did not write, although I much value your
advice; but I wished to be led by the Lord alone, after He had used
you as the instrument in the first instance, and in such a way too,
that I am quite sure He intended to bless you to my soul in this
matter. I have asked my heart whether I am really doing this to Him.
My heart assures me that I am, and not from any other motive than
obedience to the written word. Before I ever saw you I had asked the
Lord to make me willing to give this little sum into your hands, if
it were His will I should; but His time to make me willing had not
then come; even then I had, in a measure given it to you, having
written a paper, desiring in case I should fall asleep in Jesus, that
you might get possession of it; I had it signed by two witnesses, and
I always carried it about with me when I travelled, sealed and
directed to you. When I wrote this, I little thought what grace the
Lord had in store for me. You will forgive my being thus tedious, but
I am sure you will praise the Lord with me for His gracious dealings
with me. Etc."--At the end of this letter, which was finished on Dec.
16, the sister tells me, that unexpectedly a hindrance had arisen to
her having possession of the money, so that it was not likely it
could be paid over to me till about the end of January, 1843.
When this letter came, it would have been naturally a great
disappointment to me, as the sister had told me in a previous letter
that the money should be paid into my hands, and as just at that time
in a variety of ways it was desirable that I should have considerable
sums. The Lord, however, enabled me immediately to lay hold on that
word, "We know that all things work together for good to them that
love God," Rom. viii. 28, and my soul was in peace, though we had
only enough money in hand to provide for one or at the most for two
days the necessary provisions in the Orphan-Houses. It was but the
next day, Dec. 19, 1842, when I received 100l. from A. B., and on
Dec. 22, I received 50l. from a brother in Bristol, besides other
donations: so that within one week, after I had had grace to delight
myself in the will of God, He gave me about 200l., whereby I was able
to meet all the heavy expenses of replenishing the stores, &c., on
account of which I should naturally have been tried in the payment of
the money being delayed.
In reply to the letter, which I received from this sister on Dec. 18,
I wrote another on. December 31, 1842, of which I give an extract on
this subject. "The hand of the Lord is indeed most manifestly to be
seen in this matter, concerning the money: the way in which your own
mind was led; my speaking under the circumstances under which I did,
when you were already risen to leave the room; the reason why I did
so, i.e., mere sympathy with your circumstances, and thinking that
some day or other my brotherly offer might be a comfort to you,
though you should never need it, and all this when I believed that at
that time you did not possess 5l.--I have continued to pray for you,
or rather the Lord has enabled me every day once, twice, thrice, or
even more, to remember you. The burden of my prayer still has been,
that He would be pleased to make you very happy in Himself and enable
you to enter into the inheritance which awaits you; further, that you
may not be permitted in the least to regret the step which you have
taken, but rather consider it a privilege to be permitted to give
this little sum back to Him who gave it to you, and who gave Himself
for you.--With reference to the delay, I cannot but rejoice. This
gives you abundant opportunity to ponder the matter, and afterwards
to state to any (who, judging as those who know not how rich the
saints are, might blame you,) that you did not do the thing in haste.
I consider this delay to be for the furtherance of the honour of the
Lord. You know my advice to you, to wait at least a fortnight. That
you have seen much of your unfaithfulness, &c., I consider to be an
especial blessing which the Lord has bestowed upon you, lest this
step you have taken should become a snare to you. Humblings last our
whole life. Jesus came not to save painted but real sinners; but He
has saved us, and will surely make it manifest. I have a passage laid
on my heart for you, read the whole of it carefully: 2 Corinth. viii.
1-9, especially verse 9. Etc."
Day after day now passed away and the money did not come. The month
of January was come to an end, and February also, and the money had
not come. Thus more than one hundred and twenty days were gone by,
whilst day by day I brought my petition before the Lord, that He
would bless this sister, keep her steadfast in her purpose and
intrust me with this money for His work in my hands. Amidst it all my
heart was assured (judging from the earnestness which He had given me
in prayer, and that I had only desired this matter to the praise of
His name), that in His own time He would bring it about. But I never
wrote one single line to the sister on the subject all this time. At
last, on the one hundred and thirty-fourth day after I had daily
besought the Lord about this matter, on March 8th, 1843,1 received a
letter from the sister, informing me that the 500l. had been paid
into the hands of my bankers.
I now wrote to the sister to inquire, whether she wished the money to
be expended upon any particular objects, or whether she would leave
me altogether free to expend it, as I might be led.
In reply to this she wrote me: "Dear Brother, I would still leave
this little sum in the hands of Him to whom it has been given. May He
alone be your guide in disposing of it. If I did express one wish, it
would be, that you would make use of a part for your own or your
familys present necessity." This latter point I declined entirely,
thinking it not wise to take a part of this money for myself, to
avoid even the appearance as if in any measure I had sought my own
things in this matter, instead of the things of Jesus Christ.
The 500l. were thus portioned out: 100l. for the School-Bible-Tract
and Missionary Fund. 50l. for the Employment Fund.8 50l. was taken at
once for the Orphan-Fund, and afterwards also the remaining 300l.
when, as I shall presently relate, the Lord pointed out to me to go
forward in the Orphan work, and to establish a fourth Orphan-house.
I have related the particulars connected with this donation so
minutely, in order to show, that though we may have long to wait upon
the Lord, yea, though for one hundred and thirty-four days we may
have daily the same petition to bring before Him, yet at last He will
give us the desire of our hearts, if our petitions are according to
His mind. And now I only give a few lines of a letter which I
received on. July 3, 1844, from the sister who gave this donation,
together with my letters for which I had asked her, in order that I
may show her state of mind on the subject, after she had had it more
than twenty months before her, and after she had for sixteen months
actually given up the money. She writes thus: "I am thankful to say
that I have never for one moment had the slightest feeling of regret;
but it is wholly of the Lords abounding grace. I speak it to His
praise."
On March 31, 1843, I called at the Orphan-Houses, to make certain
arrangements, and one of the sisters told me by the way, that she had
been asked by Miss G, who with her father occupied the house, No. 4,
Wilson Street, to let me know that they wished to give up their
house, if I would like to take it; but she had replied that it was of
no use to tell me about it, for she was sure that I had no thought of
opening another Orphan-House. When I came home, this matter greatly
occupied my mind. I could not but ask the Lord again and again
whether He would have me to open another Orphan-House, and whether
the time was now come that I should serve Him still more extensively
in this way. The more I pondered the matter, the more it appeared to
me that this was the hand of God moving me onwards in this service.
The following remarkable combination of circumstances struck me in
particular. 1, There are more applications made for the admission of
Orphans, especially of late, than we are at all able to meet, though
we fill the houses as much as the health of the children and of the
labourers will possibly admit. 2, If I did take another house for
Orphans, it would be most desirable it should be in the same street
where the other three are, as thus the labour is less, and in times
of great need we are near together for prayer, the distribution of
the money, &c. But since the third Orphan-House was opened in Nov.
1837, there never has been one of the larger houses in the street to
be let. 3, There are about fifteen children in the Infant-Orphan-House,
whom it would have been well some time ago to have removed
to the house for the older girls, had there been room;
but when a vacancy happened to occur in that house, there were
generally several waiting to fill it up, so that unintentionally the
female children in the Infant-Orphan-House remained where they were;
but this is not well, nor is it according to my original intention
for the Infants were intended only to be left till they are seven
years old, and then to be removed to the houses for older boys and
girls. This my original plan could be executed better for the future,
and at once for the present, were I to open another Orphan-House. 4,
I know two sisters who seem suitable labourers for this fourth
Orphan-House, and who have a desire thus to be engaged. 5, There are
300l. remaining of the 500l. which I so lately received. This money
may be used for the furnishing and fitting up of a new Orphan-House.
So much money I have never had in hand at one time during the last
five years. This seemed to me a remarkable thing, in connexion with
the four other reasons. 6, The establishing of a fourth Orphan-House,
which would increase our expenses several hundred pounds a year,
would be, after we have gone for five years almost uninterruptedly
through trials of faith, a plain proof that I have not regretted this
service, and that I am not tired of this precious way of depending
upon the Lord from day to day; and thus the faith of other children
of God might be strengthened.--But most important, yea decidedly
conclusive, as these points were; yet they did not convince me that I
ought to go forward in this service, if the Spirits leading were not
in connexion with them. I therefore gave myself to prayer. I prayed
day after day, without saying anything to any human being. I prayed
two and twenty days, without even mentioning it to my dear wife. On
that very day, when I did mention it to her, and on which I had come
to the conclusion, after three weeks prayer and consideration in the
fear of God, to establish another Orphan-House, I received from A. B.
50l. and 1l. through him from a sister. What a striking confirmation
that the Lord will help, though the necessities should increase more
and more. At last, on the 24th day, having been now for several days
fully assured, that God would have me go forward in this service, I
went to inquire whether Mr. and Miss G. still wished to give up the
house. But here I found an apparent hinderance. Having heard no wish
expressed on my part to take the house, and the sister in the
Orphan-Houses, with whom Miss G. had communicated, not having given
her the least reason to think that I should do so, Mr. and Miss G.
their altered their plans, and now purposed to remain in the house.
However, I was to call again in a week, when I should receive an
answer. I was not in the least discomforted by this obstacle. "Lord,
if Thou hast no need of another Orphan-House, I have none," was the
burden of my prayer. I was willing to do Gods will, yea to delight
myself in His will. And just on this very ground, because I knew I
sought not my own honour but the Lords; because I knew I was not
serving myself, but the Lord in this thing; and because I knew that
with so much calm, quiet, prayerful, self-questioning consideration I
had gone about this business, and had only after many days, during
which I had been thus waiting upon the Lord, come to the conclusion
that it was the will of God I should go forward in this service: for,
these reasons I felt sure (notwithstanding what Mr. and Miss G. had
told me), that I should have the house. I also especially judged,
that thus it would be, because I was quite in peace, when I heard of
the obstacle: a plain proof that I was not in self-will going on in
this matter, but according to the leading of the Holy Ghost; for if
according to my natural mind I had sought to enlarge the work, I
should have been excited and uncomfortable when I met with this
obstacle. After a week I called again on Mr. G. And now see how God
had wrought! On the same day on which I had seen Mr. G., he went out
and met with a suitable house, so that when I came the second time,
he was willing to let me have the one which he then occupied in
Wilson Street, and as the owner accepted me as a tenant, all the
difficulties were removed, so that after the first of June we began
fitting up the house, and in July the first Orphans were received.
Of the donations which came in from March 8 to the end of May, 1843,
and which were many, I only notice:
on April 10 a brother gave 5l., which had been saved out of house
furnishing, by doing it in a plainer way.
At the end of May, 1843, I entered upon a remarkable part of my life,
upon which I must dwell somewhat at length, especially as it will, by
Gods blessing, still further show the Reader the preciousness of
depending upon God for every thing.