as there was not enough for the necessities of the Orphan-Houses for
this day. Moreover, the teachers in the Day Schools need supplies.
Between ten and eleven oclock I received by the first delivery a
letter, containing half a sovereign with these words: "The young
lions do lack and suffer hunger; but they that seek the Lord shall
not want any good thing. Dec. 16, 1842." It was not stated whether
this money was for my own personal need, or for the Orphans, or any
other object. I took it for the Orphans.--Thus we had enough, except
about 2s. 6d., to provide all that was needed for today and tomorrow.
Between seven and eight oclock this evening, a brother sent half a
crown to the Boys-Orphan-House, stating that he had been thinking
much about the Orphans in the course of this day, but that he had not
had time to send this money sooner. Thus, by the kindness of the
Lord, we have the exact sum which is required, and are again brought
to the close of another week.--Between nine and ten oclock this
evening came in still further, by the sale of articles, 2l. 7s. Thus
the Lord has not only helped us to the close of the week, but given
us also a little with which to begin another week.
Dec. 19. Yesterday came in by the profit of the sale of ladies bags
1l., and in two donations 2l. By this 5l. 7s. which came in since
Saturday evening, we should have had enough for the ordinary
household expenses of today; but as our stores of oatmeal, rice,
peas, and Scotch barley, are either entirely or nearly exhausted, and
as some calico for shirts and lining, besides many other little
articles are needed, and as especially the teachers in the Day
Schools are greatly in need of pecuniary supplies, I had been
especially entreating the Lord, that He would be pleased to send us
larger supplies. I rose from my knees about half-past ten this
morning, and about a quarter to eleven I received a let letter from
A. B. with an order for 100l., to be used as most needed in the work.
Of this sum I took for the Orphans only 25l., and for the other funds
75l. (in consideration of 50l. having been promised to be paid this
week for the Orphans); and thus we are in every way again most
seasonably helped. "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His
benefits!"--There came in still further by three donations 3l. 10s.
On Dec. 20 and 21 there came in 2l. 15s. 3d. for the Orphans.
Dec. 22. Though there had come in above 36l. for the Orphans, during
the last four days, yet as our stores needed to be replenished, and
there had been several other expenses to be met, we were again today
in need of farther supplies, when I received the 50l. for the
Orphans, which had been promised during the last week. Thus I was
able also to supply the labourers in the Orphan-Houses with some
money for their own personal need.
REVIEW OF THE YEAR 1842.
I. As to the church.
68 brethren and sisters brother Craik and I found in communion, when
we came to Bristol.
848 have been admitted into communion since we came to Bristol.
916 would be, therefore, the total number of those in fellowship with
us, had there been no changes. But
131 have left Bristol.
59 have left us, but are still in Bristol.
51 are under church discipline.
74 have fallen asleep.
315 are therefore to be deducted from 916, so that there are only 601
at present in communion.
73 have been added during the past year, of whom 27 have been brought
to the knowledge of the Lord among us.
II. As to the supply of my temporal necessities:
1. The Lord has been pleased to send me from the saints among whom I
labour in Bristol, in provisions, clothes, etc. worth to us at least
£10 0s. 0d.
2. In anonymous offerings in money, put up in paper, and directed to
me, and put into the boxes for the poor saints or the rent, at the
meeting places £113 1s. 8d.
3. In presents in money, from saints in Bristol, not given
anonymously £47 8s. 1s.
4. In provisions and clothes, from saints not residing in Bristol,
worth to us at least £10 0s. 0d.
5. In money from saints not residing in Bristol £149 6s. 3d.
Altogether £329 16s. 0d.
Jan. 21, 1843. From Dec. 22 up to this day the Lord was pleased to
send in the donations for the Orphans so, that there was always some
money received, before all was expended.--The 50l. which was given to
me on Dec. 22, and between 50l. and 60l. which had come in since, was
now today, Jan. 21, 1843, all spent, after the expenses of today,
Saturday, had been met, when there was given to me this evening a
silver cup, a gold seal, a broken gold seal, a gold buckle, a watch
hook, and a brooch. There came in also by sale of articles 2s. 6d.,
and by a donation 10s.
Jan. 23. Yesterday came in. 9s. and today 2l. 13s.
Jan. 24. Today came in 5l. 7s. 7d.
Jan. 25. This day I received 3l. 3s. 2 1/2d.
Jan. 28. The last money had been again paid out yesterday morning,
when I received 5l. last evening with Eccles. ix. 10. This morning
was sent to me from Clapham, 2l. 8s. Thus we were able to meet the
expenses of today, which were 4l. 5s.
Feb. 3. Since Jan. 28 there had come in 13l. 5s. 1d., which had fully
supplied all our need; but now all was again spent, after this days
expenses had been met, on account of which I gave myself to prayer
with my wife this morning. This evening I received in answer to it
7s. by sale of articles.
Feb. 4. This morning a brother gave to me 1l. Thus we have 1l. 7s.;
but as this is not nearly enough for today, we have given ourselves
still further to prayer, and are now looking for supplies. While I am
writing this, the Orphan has brought the letter bag to fetch 2l.
15s., which is the need of today; I am therefore looking out for help
to make up this sum.--I opened the boxes in my house, in which I found
3s. 6d. With this 1l. 10s. 6d. I had to send off the boy, waiting for
further supplies.--This afternoon, about five, came in by sale of
articles 1l. 4s. 7d. Thus we had enough, and one penny more than was
needed, and we are brought to the close of another week. O Lord, how
can Thy servant sufficiently praise Thee for condescending so to
listen to his requests! His soul is amazed at Thy condescension, and
yet, not amazed when he considers that Thou doest it for the sake of
Thy dear Son, in whom Thou dost continually look upon Thy servant!--There
came in still further this evening 2s. 6d.
Feb. 6. Yesterday was intrusted to me altogether for the Orphans 2l.
17s. 6d., in eight different donations. Thus I was able to send the
supplies which were needed this day in the Orphan-Houses, which
required all that had come in yesterday. When now there was again
nothing at all in hand, I received, about one oclock 10l., with the
following lines: "From the widow to the Orphans, a thank-offering to
Him who careth for them both." Through the same donor I received at
the same time from a lady and gentleman 2l. In the evening came in
further 10s., by the profit of the sale of ladies bags, and 2s. 6d.
as a donation.
Feb. 10. As during the last three days only 1l. 6s. had come in., all
our money was now again expended, and nothing in hand towards the
supplies of tomorrow, Saturday, when I received this afternoon 10s.,
being the profit of the sale of ladies bags. This evening came in
still further with Eccles. ix. 10, 1l., by sale of articles 2s., and
from a brother 2s.
Feb. 11. By what came in yesterday afternoon and evening, we had 1l.
l4s. towards the expenses of this day. But, as this was not enough, I
asked the Lord still further for help, and, behold, this mornings
post brought me a post-office-order for 2l. from Stafford, of which
1l. 7s. 6d. is for the Orphans. Thus we have 3l. 1s. 6d., which is
quite enough for this day.
Admire with me, my dear Reader, if you know the Lord, His seasonable
help. Why does this post-office-order not come a few days sooner or
later? Because the Lord would help us by means of it, and therefore
influences the donor just then, and not sooner nor later, to send it.
Surely, all who know the Lord, and who have no interest in disowning
it, cannot but see His hand in a remarkable manner in this work.--Nor
will the godly and simple minded reader say:--"There is no difference
between this way of proceeding, on the one hand, and going from
individual to individual, asking them for means, on the other hand;
for the writing of the Reports is just the same thing." My dear
Reader, there is a great difference. Suppose, that we are in need.
Suppose, that our poverty lasts for some weeks or even some months
together. Is there not, in that case, a difference between asking the
Lord only from day to day, without speaking to any human being not
connected directly with the work about our poverty, on the one hand:
and writing letters or making personal application to benevolent
individuals for assistance, on the other hand? Truly, there is a
great difference between these two modes. I do not mean to say that
it would be acting against the precepts of the Lord to seek for help
in His work by personal and individual application to believers,
(though it would be in direct opposition to His will to apply to
unbelievers, 2 Cor. vi. 14-18); but I act in the way in which I do
for the benefit of the Church at large, cheerfully bearing the
trials, and sometimes the deep trials connected with this life of
faith (which however brings along with it also its precious joys), if
by any means a part at least of my fellow believers might be led to
see the reality of dealing with God only, and that there is such a
thing as the child of God having power with God by prayer and faith.
That the Lord should use for so glorious a service one so vile, so
unfaithful, so altogether unworthy of the least notice as I am, I can
only ascribe to the riches of His condescending grace, in which He
takes up the most unlikely instruments, that the honour maybe
manifestly His. I add only one word more: Should Satan seek to
whisper into your ears: Perhaps the matter is made known after all,
when there is need (as it has been once said about me at a public
meeting in a large town, that when we were in want I prayed publicly
that the Lord would send help for the Orphans, which is entirely
false); I say, should it be said, that I took care that our wants
were made known, I reply: Whom did I ask for any thing these many
years since the work has been going on? To whom did I make known our
wants, except to those who are closely connected with the work?--Nay,
so far from wishing to make known our need, for the purpose of
influencing benevolent persons to contribute to the necessities of
the Institution under my care, I have even refused to let our
circumstances be known, after having been asked about them, when on
simply saying that we were in need, I might have had considerable
sums. Some instances of this have been given in the former part of
this Narrative. In such cases I refused, in order that the hand of
God only might be manifest; for that, and not the money, nor even the
ability of continuing to carry on the work, is my especial aim. And
such self-possession has the Lord given me, that at the times of the
deepest poverty, (whilst there was nothing at all in hand, and whilst
we had even from meal to meal to wait upon the Lord for the
necessities of more than 100 persons), when a donation of 5l. or 10l.
or more has been given to me, the donors could not have read in my
countenance whether we had much or nothing at all in hand. But enough
of this. I have made these few remarks, beloved Reader, lest by any
means you should lose the blessing which might come to your soul
through reading the account of the Lords faithfulness and readiness
to hear the prayers of His children.
Feb. 13. Monday. After having paid out on Saturday all there was in
hand, though having quite enough for that day, we had now again to
look to the Lord for means, as we generally need several pounds on
Mondays. At this time also our faithful Lord did not disappoint us.
For there came in late on Saturday, by the sale of articles given for
sale, 1l. 8s. 11d., and by sale of stockings, knitted by the boys,
5s. I received also since then by the profit of the sale of ladies
bags 10s., by the boxes in my house 1s. 9d., and by two donations 6s.
There was also yesterday put into the chapel boxes, half-a-crown with
these words: "Trust in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him." Thus we
had 2l. l4s. 2d., which was enough for the need of this day.
Feb. 14. I have received nothing since yesterday morning. Nothing
therefore was in hand when money was sent for, except 1s. 6d., which
was sent up from the Orphan-Houses, by the messenger who came for
this days supplies, and which had been received yesterday at the
Infant-Orphan-House. I opened the boxes at my house, in which I found
1s. WHILE THE BOY WAS WAITING FOR THE MONEY, the sister who sells the
articles which are given to be sold for the benefit of the Orphans,
and who knows nothing about our present need, came and brought 12s.
for some things which she had sold. With this 14s. 6d. we are able to
supply the need of today, as nothing but some bread and milk require
to be purchased.
Feb. 15. 2l. 14s. came in from the neighbourhood of Rotherham,
besides 1s. 9d. Thus we had enough for this day.
Feb. 16. Yesterday afternoon I received 9s. from two poor sisters at
Portsmouth. This, with 9d., which was left of the money which I
received yesterday, after the days need had been met, was all I had
at the commencement of this day. In the course of the morning was
sent by a lady of Ashton, 10s. more. Thus we had 19s. 9d., which
sufficed for this day.
Feb. 17. Only 2s. 6d. had come in as a donation, and 2s. 4d. by
knitting. This 4s. 10d. was all I could send, hoping in the Lord for
more. The information I had from the Boys-Orphan-House was, that the
4s. 10d. supplied the matrons with all that was absolutely needful
for today. This evening at nine oclock I received from sister E. Ch.
8s. 9d. for Reports. This is a most precious help, as without it
there would be no means to take in the milk tomorrow morning.
Feb. 18. This morning between seven and eight oclock I took the
money which came in last night, to the Orphan-Houses, so that we were
supplied for the breakfast. We had now to look to the Lord for
several pounds, to meet the demands of this day, being Saturday.
Between 10 and 11 oclock I again with my wife besought the Lord,
entreating Him, that He would be pleased to help us, when a FEW
MINUTES AFTER, in this our great need, I received by the first
delivery a letter from Barnstaple, containing 5l. for the Orphans.
How truly precious, to see thus so manifestly the hand of God day by
day stretched out on our behalf!
Feb. 20. Monday. Most seasonable as the help had been, which the Lord
so kindly had sent on Saturday morning, and fully as it had supplied
our need for that day; yet there was nothing left, after all the
expenses had been met, so that we had even on Saturday still further
to wait upon the Lord for fresh supplies for this day. Now at this
time likewise the Lord has appeared on our behalf. About nine oclock
on Saturday evening arrived by post a small parcel from Yorkshire,
which contained 6 pitcher purses, 2 night caps, a watchguard, and 6l.
1s. 4d. Of this money 5l. is to be applied for Missionary purposes,
1s. 4d. for the Orphans, and 1l. as it may be needed. This 1l. I took
therefore for the Orphans.
--Yesterday morning I received as a widows mite 1l. for the Orphans;
and into the chapel boxes was put 10s. with Eccles. ix. 10, and also
half-a-crown anonymously. Thus the Lord has been pleased to send us
altogether 2l. 13s., whereby we are able to meet this days expenses.
Feb. 21. We were comfortably helped through yesterday, but having
provided for all the demands, there was again nothing left in my
hands for today. How kind therefore of the Lord to incline the heart
of the same brother, who had given me 50l. a few weeks since, to
intrust me with 1l. 2s. 6d. more last night, about nine oclock! By
this donation our need for today is supplied.
Feb. 22. Only 3s. 9d. came in yesterday by sale of Reports. When this
morning the letter bag was sent from the Orphan-Houses for supplies,
I found a note in it, containing this: "For today there is no need of
mentioning any sum, as we can make that do, which the Lord may please
to send." The 3s. 9d. was all I had to send, waiting upon the Lord
for more--There came in further in the course of the morning by sale
of stockings 3s., and by sale of other articles, given for that
purpose, 2s. 6d. Our need also led us to open the boxes in the
Orphan-Houses, in which we found 11s. 6d. Thus we had a altogether,
1l. 0s. 9d., whereby we were helped through this day.
Feb. 23. Last evening I received from Bath a small parcel, containing
a small telescope, a set of mother-o-pearl counters, 7 silver
buckles, and a broken silver brooch. This morning the bag was brought
for money, but I had nothing in hand. WHILST THE BOY WHO BROUGHT THE
LETTER BAG WAS WAITING, to receive the answer, the sister who
disposes of the articles which are given for sale, (and who was no
more acquainted with the state of our funds than any other person),
brought 11s. 4d. With this we began the day, again trusting in the
Lord for further help.
Feb. 24. Nothing more came in, in the course of yesterday morning;
but a little after four oclock I received a letter from Jersey,
containing a post-office-order for 1l. for the Orphans. The donor
writes thus: "Herewith you will find a post-office-order for 1l.,
being this years subscription. I had a desire to defer it to the 1st
of June; but owing to my mind having been deeply worked on the
present day, that this was the acceptable time, I make no scruple of
availing myself of this evenings post, which I hope will be
acceptable." Jersey, 20 Feb. 1843--How manifest is the hand of the
Lord in this matter! He stirs up this donor, who lives at such a
distance, to remember our need, whose money indeed came in a most
acceptable time.--Thus we were again helped for yesterday. A few
minutes after having received the 1l. from Jersey, a brother near
Bruton sent me 15s. The money, given by this donor, being always left
entirely to my disposal, I took this 15s. towards the need of the
Orphans for today. This mornings post brought me half-a-sovereign
from London. The letter contained only these words: "London, Feb. 22,
1843. Psalm xxvii. 14." I put this half-sovereign to the Orphan-Fund.
There came in also by knitting 1s. 4d., and through the boxes in my
house 6 1/2d. Thus we had for the need of this day again, by the good
hand of our Lord upon us, 1l. 6s. 10 1/2d.
Feb. 25. Saturday. Yesterday afternoon and evening 12s. 8d. came in
by knitting, and 1s. 9d. besides. This was all we had wherewith to
begin the day. There came in still further in the course of today: by
the boxes in the Orphan-Houses 5d., by knitting 7s. 8d., by a
donation 1s., by sale of Reports 4s., by sale of an article, given
for that purpose, 10s., and one of the labourers gave 6s. Thus the
Lord gave us again 2l. 5s. 6d. for todays need, and we are helped to
the close of another week.--As a fresh proof, that our loving Father
is still mindful of us, we received this evening a parcel and a box
from Plymouth: the former contained a musical box and a piece of
worsted work, the latter 10 china ornaments: all to be sold for the
benefit of the Orphans.
Feb. 27. Monday. Nothing at all has come in since Saturday. When
therefore this day began, we had no means to provide what was needed.
My comfort, however, was, that our Father knew that we were needy,
and that kept me at this time also in peace. Between 10 and 11
oclock this morning I received 1l. 10s. from Guernsey. The brother,
who sent the money, writes, that he had delayed in sending it, and
hoped that "this was the Lords time," which indeed it is, for we are
thus supplied for this day.
Feb. 28. Yesterday afternoon. 3s. were put into the box in my room,
which our need brought out, as again this day began without our
having anything in hand. I received still further to day from a
brother at Crediton. 2l., being the produce of an Orphan-box in his
house.--This evening I was at a Scripture-Reading-Meeting, at a
brothers house. On leaving I found half-a-crown in one of my gloves,
evidently put there on purpose, which I put to the Orphan-Fund, and
it was immediately taken to the Orphan-Houses. Thus we were helped
through this day also, but have nothing in hand towards tomorrow.
There came in also for knitting 2s. 11d. Thus we had 2l. 8s. 5d. for
this day.
March 1. There came in this morning by sale of some articles 1l. 5s.
About dinner time a clergyman, who had had one of my Narratives lent
to him by one of the labourers in the Orphan-Houses, returned it with
1l. 10s. for the Orphans, from himself and his two sisters. Thus we
were again provided with all we needed for today.--This evening the
Lord helped still further. I received with Eccles. ix. 10, 3l. From
sister M. B. came in 1l., by knitting of the Infant-Orphans 3s. 6d.,
and by two donations 6s.
March 2. This day the Lord has again looked upon us in His faithful
love, and sent us help, whereby I am enabled to replenish our stores
with rice, peas, and Scotch barley, and am also able to put by the
rent. There was found in the boxes in the Orphan-Houses 2l. 3s. 7d.,
which had been put in by some visitors, who saw the Orphan-Houses
yesterday afternoon. There were also given to me 63 old silver coins,
the greater part of them old English coins, the others old Spanish
and French coins, also one crown piece current. There came in also by
sale of articles and donations, besides the money for the silver
coins, l6s. 10d. Thus the Lord has dealt bountifully with us these
two days, after many days of poverty.
March 6. Monday. The last money had been given out last Saturday, and
only 6d. had come in yesterday, whilst our need for today, I knew,
would be about 2l. About a quarter of am hour before I was called on
for money, I received from a brother at Plymouth a post-office-order
for 2l. 11s. 6d., and by the same post, anonymously, a French cambric
handkerchief and half-a-crown. Thus our present need was again more
than met.
March 7. There came in today 2l. l3s. 10d.
March 8. Today we required 3l. 10s. to supply comfortably all that
was needed in the Orphan-Houses, but only 2l. 1s. 10d. was in hand.
How kind therefore of the Lord to send me a large donation, whereby
we were richly supplied! The particulars of it are these:--On Oct.
25, 1842, I had a long conversation with a sister in the Lord, who
opened her heart to me. On leaving me I told her, (because I thought
it might prove a comfort to her at some future time,) that my house
and my purse were hers, and that I should be glad if she would have
one purse with me. This I said, I repeat, because I judged that at
some future time it might prove a comfort to her in an hour of trial,
having at the same time, (to judge from a circumstance which had
occurred two days before,) every reason to believe, that she had not
5l. of her own. This sister, after I had said so, readily took me at
my word, and said, I shall be glad of it, adding presently that she
had 500l. The moment I heard that, I drew back, and said, that had I
known that she had any money, I should not have made her this offer,
and then gave her my reason why I had supposed she had no property at
all. She then assured me that she possessed 500l., and that she had
never seen it right, to give up this money, else she would have done
so; but that as God had put this sum into her hands, without her
seeking, she thought that it was a provision which the Lord had made
for her. I replied scarcely any thing to this; but she asked me to
pray for her with reference to this matter. This whole conversation
about the money occupied but very few minutes, and it all took place
after the sister had risen and was on the point of leaving me.--After
she was gone, I asked the Lord, that He would be pleased to make this
dear sister so happy in Himself and enable her so to realize her true
riches and inheritance in the Lord Jesus, and the reality of her
heavenly calling, that she might be constrained by the love of
Christ, cheerfully to lay down this 500l. at His feet. From that time
I repeated this my request before the Lord daily, and often two,
three, or four times a day; but not a single word or line passed
between me and this sister on the subject, nor did I even see her;
for I judged that it would be far better that she retained this
money, than that by persuasion she should give it up, and afterwards
perhaps regret the step she had taken, and thereby more dishonour
than honour be brought on the name of the Lord. After I had thus for
24 days daily besought the Lord on behalf of this sister, I found her
one day, on returning home, at my house, when she told me, that she
wished to see me alone. She then said to me, that from the time she
had last conversed with me, she had sought to ascertain the Lords
will with reference to the 500l., and had examined the Scriptures,
and prayed about it, and that she was now assured that it was the
will of the Lord, she should give up this money. After she had told
me this, I exhorted her, well to count the cost, and to do nothing
rashly, lest she should regret the step she had taken, and to wait at
least a fortnight longer before she carried out her intention. Thus
we separated. On the 18th day after this conversation. I received the
following letter.
"Dear Brother,