the Orphans. This morning our poverty, which now has lasted more or
less for several months, had become exceedingly great. I left my
house a few minutes after seven to go to the Orphan-Houses, to see
whether there was money enough to take in the milk, which is brought
about eight oclock. On my way it was especially my request, that the
Lord would be pleased to pity us, even as a father pitieth his
children, and that He would not lay more upon us than He would enable
us to bear. I especially entreated him that He would now be pleased
to refresh our hearts by sending us help. I likewise reminded Him of
the consequences that would result, both in reference to believers
and unbelievers, if we should have to give up the work because of
want of means, and that He therefore would not permit its coming to
nought. I moreover again confessed before the Lord that I deserved
not that He should continue to use me in this work any longer. While
I was thus in prayer, about two minutes walk from the Orphan-Houses,
I met a brother who was going at this early hour to his business.
After having exchanged a few words with him, I went on; but he
presently ran after me, and gave me 1l. for the Orphans. Thus the
Lord speedily answered my prayer. Truly, it is worth being poor and
greatly tried in faith, for the sake of having day by day such
precious proofs of the loving interest which our kind Father takes in
every thing that concerns us. And how should our Father do otherwise?
He that has given us the greatest possible proof of His love which He
could have done, in giving us His own Son, surely He will with Him
also freely give us all things. It is worth also being poor and
greatly tried in faith, if but thereby the hearts of the children of
God may be comforted and their faith strengthened; and if but those
who do not know God, and who may read or hear of His dealings with
us, should be led thereby to see, that faith in God is more than a
mere notion, and that there is indeed reality in Christianity. In the
course of this day there came in still further 13s.
March 19. Saturday. As it has often been the case on Saturdays, so it
was this day in particular. We began the day in very great poverty,
as only 7s. had come in since the day before yesterday. There was not
one ray of light as to natural prospects. The heart would be
overwhelmed, at such seasons, were there not an abundance of repose
to be found by trusting in God. The trial having continued so long,
and our poverty having now come to such a degree, that it was
necessary we should have help, in order that the name of the Lord
might not be dishonoured, I had proposed to my fellow-labourers that
we should set apart this day especially for prayer. We met
accordingly at half-past ten in the morning. By that time had come in
4s. 6d., 7s. 6d., and 10s. In the afternoon we met again at three,
when 10s. came in. In the evening at seven we met once more, there
being yet about three shillings needed, to provide all that was
required. This also we received, and even 3s. more than was actually
needed came in, just when we were about to separate.
Today we were also very poor with reference to our own personal
necessities. In the morning we had only 2 1/2d. left, when a sister
in the Lord, who knew nothing about our need, gave us the contents of
her purse, being 1l. 7s.
March 23. This afternoon, when we had no money at all of our own, a
brother gave us 3s. for ourselves.
March 25. During the last four days we received 6l. 12s. 2d. for the
Orphans. This morning, when we were now again without any thing, a
parcel arrived from Clapham, containing 1l. 10s., with a frock, a
chemise, 2 petticoats, 2 pinafores, and 2 handkerchiefs (all new).
About the same time was sent a post-office order from Bath for 2l.
This is no small deliverance. The need has been so great during this
week that the matrons, in order that there might be no lack in the
way of provisions for the children, have been unable to order even
half-a-ton of coals at once, and have been obliged to buy them in
very small quantities.
When again we had only 6d. Left for our own personal necessities, I
received 9s.
March 26. We are helped to the close of one more week with reference
to our own personal necessities. During this week we have had several
times not one single penny for ourselves; yet during this week also
we have had all that was needed in the way of nourishing food, etc.,
and we have 3d. left.
March 30. From the 25th up to this day we were poor, with reference
to the Orphans but the Lord helped us. This morning a brother from
Devonshire came to stay for a few days with me. He gave me two
sovereigns for the Orphans, and told me the following facts in
connexion with them. Last year he portioned out a piece of ground,
for the benefit of the Orphans. Having done so, all the members of
the family were gathered together, and he asked with them the Lords
blessing upon the crop that was to be planted. This prayer was often
repeated afterwards, while the crop was known to belong to the
Orphans; and the ground yielded a good crop. The potatoes were to
have been sent, but it was considered better to sell them for the
benefit of the Orphans, and now this brother brought the produce.
These two sovereigns came in most seasonably, as they were only just
in time to supply the dinner and other necessaries of this day; for
when I came with the brother from the railway station to my house, I
found an Orphan boy waiting for money, and I had nothing in hand.
This evening I received still further from a sister 1l. 1s. 5 1/2d.
This morning we had not one single halfpenny left for our own
necessities, when two brethren arrived to stay with us for some days,
the one from Somersetshire and the other from the North of Devon. The
brother from the North of Devon brought 12s. for my own use from
Barnstaple, and also gave 1l. to my dear wife this afternoon for our
own need. Thus we were again supplied. My mind has been quite in
peace on account of our own need, and the only inconvenience that we
had in this case was, that our dinner was about half an hour later
than usual. Such a thing, as far as I remember, scarcely ever
occurred before, and has never occurred since; but suppose it had, it
is well, in some little measure, to know from ones own experience
the meaning of that word, "I know both how to be abased, and I know
how to abound: everywhere and in all things I am instructed both to
be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need." Philip
iv. 12.
March 31. This afternoon 5s. came in from Bath, and from a sister in
the Lord in one of the Northern counties 5l. for the Orphans and 15l.
for the other objects; and through the same donor l2s. This money
arrived when there was again only 5s. in hand for the Orphans, which
had come in this afternoon, and when there was particular need of
means, as many pairs of shoes needed to be mended, and other extra
expenses were to be met. When this money came, there was also great
need of fresh supplies for the Day-Schools, on account of which this
donation was a precious help from the Lord.
April 2. We received 1l. 19s. 6d. for the Orphans.
April 4. When again our little stock had been exhausted, the Lord was
pleased to send in yesterday 5l. through a sister of Bristol; also by
sale of articles 10s., and by Reports 5s. Today came in from
Kensington 1l.
April 6. As only 3s. more had come in yesterday, the money was now
again all gone, when this evening was sent from a distance a post
office order for 2l.
April 8. This afternoon, when again much money was needed, we
received from Plymouth 1l., and from a donor in Bristol 1l.
April 9. Saturday. Only 1s. 6d. had come in since yesterday
afternoon. We needed more money than there was in hand, especially as
it was Saturday, but the Lord was pleased particularly to try our
faith. In the course of the morning came from some sisters in Dublin,
18 yards of calico, 34 yards of print, 43 balls of cotton, and a pair
of worn ladys boots. This donation came most seasonably, as we had
been mentioning repeatedly the need of calico and print in our
prayers; and the sewing cotton and the pair of boots came at once
into use. Moreover, this donation was a sweet encouragement to me to
continue waiting upon the Lord. Evening was now approaching, and no
money had yet come in for provisions, etc., which would be needed on
the Lords day. About six oclock, I gave myself once more to prayer
with my wife, and requested the Lord in my prayer that if the sister,
who in love to Him has taken upon her the service of disposing of the
articles which are given for sale, had any money in hand, He would be
pleased to incline her heart to bring or send the money this evening.
After this I sat down peacefully to read the Scriptures, being
assured that this time also the Lord would stretch out His hand on
our behalf. About half-past seven oclock the sister to whom
reference has just now been made, came and brought 1l. 10s. 4d., for
articles which she had sold, stating that though she was unwell, yet
she felt herself constrained not to delay bringing this money. Thus
we had all that was needed, and 6s. more. When I arrived with the
money at the Infant-Orphan-House, about eight oclock, I found my
fellow labourers in prayer, and while we still continued in prayer a
sister sent a large basket of stale bread, being five brown loaves,
seven bread cakes, and five French loaves.
April 11. It is this day six years since the first children were
taken in, and, as usual, we are poor this day also; for only l3s. 10
1/2d. has come in since Saturday evening.
April 12. We were never in greater need than today, perhaps never in
so much, when I received this morning 100l. from the East Indies. It
is impossible to describe the real joy in God it gave me. My prayer
had been again this morning particularly, that our Father would pity
us, and now at last send larger sums. I was not in the least
surprised or excited when this donation came, for I took it as that
which came in answer to prayer, and had been long looked for. As it
was left to me to use the money as might be most needed, I took one
half of it for the Orphan Fund, and the other half for the other
funds. We have thus also an answer to our prayer for oatmeal, new
shoes, and for means to enable us to have the old shoes mended, means
for replenishing somewhat our stores, money for some articles of
clothing for the children, and also a little money for the sisters
who labour in the Orphan-Houses. How precious to look to the Lord! I
was always sure that He would at last send larger sums, therefore had
my heart been kept in peace, though my faith had never been more
tried than during the last months.
April 14. There was half-a-sovereign taken out of the box at the
Boys-Orphan-House this morning. This afternoon three individuals
called on me. One of them gave 6l., 3 collars, and 2 veils, and
brought likewise 3 gold rings. Another of them gave me 2s. 6d. After
they had left I found in my room on the mantelpiece in a paper 2
sovereigns for my own personal expenses, and in three papers 3
sovereigns for the three Orphan-Houses, and also a fourpenny piece on
the floor.
April 30. As since the 14th only little more than 16l. had come in,
there was again this day not quite enough in hand to supply all that
was needed. However, the Lord sent from Clapham a parcel which
contained 10s., 2 frocks, 2 pinafores, 2 handkerchiefs, 2 nightcaps,
and 2 pieces of list.
May 1. Today was given by a brother a gold watch with a small gold
chain and key. The gift was accompanied by the following note to me:
"Beloved Brother,
"A pilgrim does not want such a watch as this to make him happy; one
of an inferior kind will do to show him how swiftly his time flies,
and how fast he is hastening on to that Canaan where time will be no
more: so that it is for you to do with this what seemeth good to you.
It is the last relic of earthly vanity, and, while I am in the body,
may I be kept from all idolatry.
"Your affectionate brother,
*****"
May 2. There was now again no money in hand, not even the few
shillings which were required to take in the milk tomorrow morning,
when a sister gave a sovereign to brother R. B. for the Orphans,
whereby we are helped.
May 6. Only 3l. 10s. 2 1/2d. had been received since the 2nd, on
which account there would have been only enough means in hand to
provide for the breakfast tomorrow morning, when in this our fresh
need 80l. was sent by the same brother who has been spoken of under
"June 4, 1841," in the details respecting the other funds; and also
6l. from Great Malvern. The half of this 80l. was put to the Orphan
Fund, and the other half to the other funds: the donation from Great
Malvern was put to the fund for the other objects. There arrived at
the same time from the East Indies by post a small parcel, containing
2 pairs of gold ear-rings, a brooch, and 2 rupees. These donations
came especially in season, as they enable me to give supplies to the
brethren and sisters who labour in the Day Schools and Orphan-Houses
for their own personal necessities, besides meeting the wants in
other respects.
May 10. 6l. l5s. 10d. more has come in since the 6th. Today, in
closing the accounts, we have left at the end of this period of
seventeen months, in which we have been so often penniless, the sum
of 16l. 18s. 10 1/2d. for the Orphans, and 48l. 12s. 5 1/4d. for the
other objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution.
The time now seemed to us to have come, when, for the profit of the
church at large, the Lords dealings with us, with reference to the
various objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution, should be
made known by publishing another Report. For, whilst we, on purpose,
had delayed it at this time five months longer than during the
previous years, and that during a period when we were in deeper
poverty than during any previous time; yet, as from the commencement
it had appeared to me important, from time to time to make known the
Lords dealings with us, so I judged it profitable still, to seek to
comfort, to encourage, to exhort, to instruct, and to warn the dear
children of God by the printed accounts of the Lords goodness to us.
The following are a few additional remarks with reference to the
period of the seventeen months previous to May 10, 1842.
1. Though our trials of faith during these seventeen months lasted
longer, and were sharper than during any previous period, yet during
all this time the Orphans had every thing that was needful in the way
of nourishing food, the necessary articles of clothing, etc. Indeed I
should rather at once send the children back to their relations than
keep them without sufficient maintenance.
2. I desire that all the children of God who may read these details
may thereby be led to increased and more simple confidence in God for
every thing which they may need under any circumstances, and that
these many answers to prayer may encourage them to pray, particularly
as it regards the conversion of their friends and relations, their
own progress in grace and knowledge, the state of the saints whom
they may know personally, the state of the church of Christ at large,
and the success of the preaching of the Gospel. Especially I
affectionately warn them against being led away by the device of
Satan, to think that these things are peculiar to me, and cannot be
enjoyed by all the children of God; for though, as has been stated
before, every believer is not called upon to establish Orphan-Houses,
Charity Schools, etc., and trust in the Lord for means, yet all
believers are called upon, in the simple confidence of faith, to cast
all their burdens upon Him, to trust in him for every thing, and not
only to make every thing a subject of prayer, but to expect answers
to their petitions which they have asked according to His will, and
in the name of the Lord Jesus.--Think not, dear reader, that I have
the gift of faith, that is, that gift of which we read in 1 Cor. xii.
9, and which is mentioned along with "the gifts of healing," "the
working of miracles," "prophecy," and that on that account I am able
to trust in the Lord. It is true that the faith, which I am enabled
to exercise, is altogether Gods own gift; it is true that He alone
supports it, and that He alone can increase it; it is true that,
moment by moment, I depend upon Him for it, and that, if I were only
one moment left to myself, my faith would utterly fail; but it is not
true that my faith is that gift of faith which is spoken of in 1 Cor.
xii. 9, for the following reasons.
1, The faith which I am enabled to exercise with reference to the
Orphan-Houses and my own temporal necessities, is not that "faith" of
which it is said in 1 Cor. xiii. 2 (evidently in allusion to the
faith spoken of in 1 Cor. xii. 9), "Though I have all faith, so that
I could remove mountains, and have not charity (love), I am nothing";
but it is the self-same faith which is found in every believer,
and the growth of which I am most sensible of to myself; for, by
little and little, it has been increasing for the last fifty-six
years.
2, This faith which is exercised respecting the Orphan-Houses and my
own temporal necessities, shows itself in the same measure, for
instance, concerning the following points: I have never been
permitted to doubt during the last fifty-six years that my sins are
forgiven, that I am a child of God, that I am beloved of God, and
that I shall be finally saved; because I am enabled, by the grace of
God, to exercise faith upon the word of God, and believe what God
says in those passages which settle these matters (1 John v. 1-Gal.
iii. 26-Acts x. 43-Romans x. 9, 10-John iii. 16, etc.)--Further, at
the time when I thought I should be insane (though there was not the
least ground for thinking so), as recorded on pages 209, 210, and
223, I was in peace, quite in peace; because my soul believed the
truth of that word, "We know that all things work together for good
to them that love God." Rom. viii. 28.--Further, When my brother in
the flesh, and my dear aged father died, and when concerning both of
them I had no evidence whatever that they were saved (though I dare
not say that they are lost, for I know it not); yet my soul was at
peace, perfectly at peace, under this great trial, this exceedingly
great trial, this trial which is one of the greatest perhaps which
can befall a believer. And what was it that gave me peace? My soul
laid hold on that word, "Shall not the judge of all the earth do
right!" This word, together with the whole character of God, as He
has revealed Himself in His holy word, settled all questionings. I
believed what He has said concerning Himself, and I was at peace, and
have been at peace ever since, concerning this matter.--Further, When
the Lord took from me a beloved infant, my soul was at peace,
perfectly at peace; I could only weep tears of joy when I did weep.
And why? Because my soul laid hold in faith on that word: "Of such is
the kingdom of Heaven." Matthew xix. 14. Believing, therefore, as I
did, upon the ground of this word, my soul rejoiced, instead of
mourning, that my beloved infant was far happier with the Lord, than
with me.--Further, When sometimes all has been dark, exceedingly dark,
with reference to my service among the saints, judging from natural
appearances yea, when I should have been overwhelmed indeed in grief
and despair, had I looked at things after the outward appearance: at
such times I have sought to encourage myself in God, by laying hold
in faith on His mighty power, His unchangeable love, and His infinite
wisdom, and I have said to myself: God is able and willing to deliver
me, if it be good for me; for it is written: "He that spared not His
own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him
also freely give us all things?" Rom. viii. 32. This, this it was
which, being believed by me through grace, kept my soul in
peace.--Further, When in connection with the Orphan-Houses, Day
Schools, etc., trials have come upon me which were far heavier than
the want of means, when lying reports were spread that the Orphans
had not enough to eat, or that they were cruelly treated in other
respects, and the like; or when other trials, still greater, but
which I cannot mention, have befallen me in connexion with this work,
and that at a time when I was nearly a thousand miles absent from
Bristol, and had to remain absent week after week: at such times my
soul was stayed upon God; I believed His word of promise which was
applicable to such cases; I poured out my soul before God, and arose
from my knees in peace, because the trouble that was in the soul was
in believing prayer cast upon God, and thus I was kept in peace,
though I saw it to be the will of God to remain far away from the
work.
--Further, When I needed houses, fellow-labourers, masters and
mistresses for the Orphans or for the Day Schools, I have been
enabled to look for all to the Lord, and trust in Him for help.--Dear
reader, I may seem to boast; but, by the Grace of God, I do not boast
in thus speaking. From my inmost soul I do ascribe it to God alone
that He has enabled me to trust in Him, and that hitherto He has not
suffered my confidence in Him to fail. But I thought it needful to
make these remarks, lest any one should think that my depending upon
God was a particular gift given to me, which other saints have no
right to look for; or lest it should be thought that this my
depending upon Him had only to do with the obtaining of MONEY by
prayer and faith. By the grace of God I desire that my faith in God
should extend towards EVERY thing, the smallest of my own temporal
and spiritual concerns, and the smallest of the temporal and
spiritual concerns of my family, towards the saints among whom I
labour, the church at large, everything that has to do with the
temporal and spiritual prosperity of the Scriptural Knowledge
Institution, etc. Dear reader, do not think that I have attained in
faith (and how much less in other respects!) to that degree to which
I might and ought to attain; but thank God for the faith which He has
given me, and ask Him to uphold and increase it. And lastly, once
more, let not Satan deceive you in making you think that you could
not have the same faith, but that it is only for persons who are
situated as I am. When I lose such a thing as a key, I ask the Lord
to direct me to it, and I look for an answer to my prayer; when a
person with whom I have made an appointment does not come, according
to the fixed time, and I begin to be inconvenienced by it, I ask the
Lord to be pleased to hasten him to me, and I look for an answer;
when I do not understand a passage of the word of God, I lift up my
heart to the Lord, that He would be pleased, by His holy Spirit, to
instruct me, and I expect to be taught, though I do not fix the time
when, and the manner how it should be; when I am going to minister
in the Word, I seek help from the Lord, and while I in the
consciousness of natural inability as well as utter unworthiness,
begin this His service, I am not cast down, but of good cheer,
because I look for His assistance, and believe that He, for His dear
Sons sake, will help me. And thus in other of my temporal and
spiritual concerns I pray to the Lord, and expect an answer to my
requests; and may not you do the same, dear believing reader? Oh! I
beseech you, do not think me an extraordinary believer, having
privileges above other of Gods dear children, which they cannot
have; nor look on my way of acting as something that would not do for
other believers. Make but trial! Do but stand still in the hour of
trial, and you will see the help of God, if you trust in Him. But
there is so often a forsaking the ways of the Lord in the hour of
trial, and thus the food of faith, the means whereby our faith may be
increased, is lost. This leads me to the following important point.
You ask, How may I, a true believer, have my faith strengthened? The
answer is this
I. "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh
down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither
shadow of turning." James i. 17. As the increase of faith is a good
gift, it must come from God, and therefore He ought to be asked for
this blessing.