day commenced. My especial prayer had been, that the Lord would, be
pleased early in the morning to send us supplies, as otherwise there
would not be sufficient for dinner. Accordingly, about 10 oclock, a
parcel came from Clapham, containing 11s. and the following articles:
12 yards of calico, a frock, a chemise, 2 petticoats, a flannel
ditto, 2 handkerchiefs, 2 pinafores, a furnished workbag, an old
silver thimble, and half a franc. Thus the Lord kindly provided us
with means for the dinner, and we took it as a token for good that He
would send what else might be needed this day. There came in still
further in the course of the afternoon, by sale of an article, given
by one of the labourers, 5s.; by sale of some lithographic sketches,
given by one of the labourers, 4s. 6d.; by sale of articles given
some time since, 16s.; by sale of stockings, 2s. 9d.; and by a
donation, 2s. Thus the Lord was pleased to give us in the course of
this day 2l. 1s. 3d., while we were in the greatest need in the
morning, and without any natural prospect of having the means which
were required for the day.
Nov. 29. The Lord has kindly sent in supplies. Yesterday was given
altogether 5l. 19s. 7d. These two weeks we have been likewise in the
greatest poverty in reference to the Day Schools; but the Lord has
almost daily sent in a little to supply the absolute necessities of
the brethren and sisters, who are engaged in that part of the work.
Nov. 30. Though 5l. 19s. 7d. had been given, yet, as the stores had
been previously so reduced, there was again some more money needed
today. 5s. came in by sale of articles, and one of the labourers gave
some money of his own. In this time of great need there arrived a
parcel, sent anonymously, which contained the following articles: 3
combs, 6 shells, 5 pairs of gilt bracelets, 4 single bracelets, a
pair of ditto, a gilt chain, a gilt necklace, a cornelian ditto, a
bead ditto, a brooch, a buckle, 2 pairs of earrings, 3 rings, 3 pairs
of drops, and a single ear-ring.
Dec. 1. Again there were many shillings needed for this day. At the
Boys-Orphan-House matters stood so in the morning, that, with an
addition of eight pence, the dinner could be provided; but there was
only seven pence in hand. Brother B. having heard that something had
been put last evening into the box at the Girls-Orphan-House, went,
and it was found to be one penny, which an aged sister had put in,
whereby the present need was supplied. Even the gift of this one
penny was thus evidently under the ordering of our kind Father, who
not in anger, but for the trial of our faith, keeps us so poor. About
ten oclock this morning was sent by post, half a sovereign. In the
letter was written: "From the wife of a clergyman, for the
Orphan-Houses, Nov. 30 1841." This donation was truly sweet, as
coming from our faithful Lord, though it was not nearly enough. But
He had pity on us, and sent in still further today by the sale of
stockings 5s., and by the sale of other articles 12s.
Dec. 2. In the course of this morning was sold a part of the trinkets
which came on Nov. 30th, for 1l. 4s. 10d. Besides this came in by
sale of articles 1s. 6d. Thus was our present need supplied in the
afternoon 3l. was sent by a sister from Plymouth, and by a sister in
Bristol was given to me 2s.
Dec. 3 and 4. 1l. 10s. 6d. has been received during these two days.
Dec. 6. Yesterday the Lord again, in His faithful love, sent in means
for the need of today. A gentleman from Devonshire came to me after
the meeting, introduced himself as a brother, and gave me 5l. for the
work of the Lord, as it might be needed. I had pleasant brotherly
communion with him, but he preferred not to give me his name. Besides
this, came in 18s. 11 1/2d. by sale of articles. As this 18s. 11
1/2d. was not enough for the supply of the Orphans for this day,
there being nothing at all in hand besides, and 1l. more needed, I
took 1l. of the 5l. for the Orphans, and 4l. for the other objects.
Through the same stranger I received also 2s. 6d. from a sister.
There came in this evening 1l. 3s. besides.
By the 4l. which I took of the 5l. given by the gentleman from
Devonshire, the most pressing need with regard to the teachers in the
Day Schools is relieved. This stranger gave me also 1l. for
Missionary purposes.
Dec. 7. Three weeks and three days we have now been daily meeting for
prayer, on account of the state of the funds, and to ask the Lords
blessing upon the work. We have been daily asking Him to supply us
with means for the School-Bible-Missionary-and Tract Fund. Now,
today, in this our great poverty, was sent by a sister from one of
the Northern counties, whom I have never seen, the sum of 50l. of
which, according to her wish, 10l. is to be applied to each of these
objects, and 10l. for the Orphans. Thus the Lord has been pleased to
send us a little help, which is greatly needed for all the objects:
for the teachers have had only as much as was absolutely needful, the
Bible stock is almost entirely exhausted, the Tract stock is quite
exhausted, and to some Missionary brethren we greatly desired to send
help, but were unable to do so. Nevertheless, even now we are waiting
upon the Lord for further supplies.
When this money came, there was none at all in hand for the Orphans,
though for many reasons fresh supplies were much needed. By this
10l., then, the Lord has again helped us for the present. There was
likewise sent anonymously by post, 1l.
Dec. 9. Today came in for the Orphans by the sale of stockings 10s.
10d.--We are now brought to the close of the sixth year of this part
of the work, having only in hand the money which has been put by for
the rent; but during the whole of this year we have been supplied
with all that was needed.
During the last three years we had closed the accounts on this day,
and had, a few days after, some public meetings at which for the
benefit of the hearers, we stated how the Lord had dealt with us
during the year, and the substance of what had been stated at these
meetings was afterwards printed for the benefit of the church at
large. This time, however, it appeared to us better to delay for
awhile both the public meetings and the publishing of the Report
Through grace we had learned to lean upon the Lord only, being
assured, that, if we never were to speak or write one single word
more about this work, yet should we be supplied with means, as long
as He should enable us to depend on Himself alone. But whilst we
neither had had those public meetings for the purpose of exposing our
necessity, nor had had the account of the Lords dealings with us
published for the sake of working thereby upon the feelings of the
readers, and thus inducing them to give money, but only that we might
by our experience benefit other saints; yet it might have appeared to
some that in making known our circumstances we were actuated by some
such motives. What better proof, therefore, could we give of our
depending upon the living God alone, and not upon public meetings or
printed Reports, than that, in the midst of our deep poverty, instead
of being glad for the time to have come when we could make known our
circumstances, we still went on quietly for some time longer, without
saying any thing. We therefore determined, as we sought and still
seek in this work to act for the profit of the saints generally, to
delay both the public meetings and the Report for a few months.
Naturally we should have been, of course, as glad as any one to have
exposed our poverty at that time; but spiritually we were enabled to
delight even then in the prospect of the increased benefit that might
be derived by the church at large from our acting as we did.--I now
proceed where I left off.
Dec. 11. Since the day before yesterday the following sums came in
for the Orphans, whereby the need of yesterday and today has been
supplied. A brother gave 2l. A little boy and girl brought the
produce of their savings banks, amounting to 19s. 5d. By the sale of
stockings came in 15s. 1d., and by six donations 10s. 6d.
Dec. 13. Yesterday came in 1l. 11s. 6d., and today 10s. By this 2l.
1s. 6d. this days need has been met. There was also, very
seasonably, half a ton of coals sent to each of the three
Orphan-Houses.
Dec. 14. Yesterday afternoon a lady sent a sovereign for the Orphans.
There came in 15s. 6d. besides. Thus we had enough for this day
likewise.
Dec. 15. Having now again nothing in hand for the Orphans, the boxes
were opened, in which 4s. 4d. was found. This, with a little which
one of the labourers was able to add of his own, helped us through
the day.
From Nov. 12 up to this day, my fellow-labourers in the Church and I
have seen thirty inquirers and candidates for fellowship, and some of
them we have seen repeatedly. How can we sufficiently praise the Lord
for still continuing to use us in His service.
Dec. 16. Nothing at all had come in for the Orphans; but as one of
the labourers had last evening, most unexpectedly, received some
money from a distance of about two hundred miles, and as the Lord
inclined his heart to give of it for the present need, we were
supplied for today also.
Dec. 17. In like manner we are helped today.
Dec. 18. Saturday morning. There is now the greatest need, and only
4d. in hand, which I found in the box at my house; yet I fully
believe the Lord will supply us this day also with all that is
required.--Pause a few moments, dear reader! Observe two things! We
acted for God in delaying the public meetings and the publishing of
the Report; but Gods way leads always into trial, so far as sight
and sense are concerned. Nature always will be tried in Gods ways.
The Lord was saying by this poverty, "I will now see whether you
truly lean upon me, and whether you truly look to me." Of all the
seasons that I had ever passed through since I had been living in
this way, up to that time, I never knew any period in which my faith
was tried so sharply, as during the four months from Dec. 12, 1841,
to April 12, 1842. But observe further: We might even now have
altered our minds with respect to the public meetings and publishing
the Report; for no one knew our determination, at this time,
concerning the point. Nay, on the contrary, we knew with what delight
very many children of God were looking forward to receive further
accounts. But the Lord kept us steadfast to the conclusion, at which
we had arrived under His guidance.--Now to return to Saturday, Dec.
18th. Evening. The Lord has been very kind to us this day. In the
course of the morning 6s. came in. We had thus, with what provisions
there were in hand, all that was needed for the dinner, but no means
to provide for the next meal in the afternoon. A few minutes after
the labourers had met together for prayer this morning, there was
given to one of them a sovereign for himself. By means of this, all
that was needed for tea could be procured. Another labourer gave 3s.
6d. and two books, which were sold for 4s. There came in still
further in the course of the afternoon and evening:--by sale of
stockings, 8s. 8d.; by needlework, 8d.; and by sale of articles, 5s.
Thus, when we again met in the evening for prayer, we found that the
supplies had amounted to 2l. 8s. 2d., enough for all that was
required today. But one thing more is to be noticed respecting this
day. I was informed that three more of the Orphans have been recently
brought to the knowledge of the truth. We have now been meeting daily
for prayer during the last five weeks, and thus the Lord has not
merely heard our prayers respecting the funds, but has also blessed
these children.
Dec. 20. The Lord has again kindly sent fresh supplies. A sister gave
1l.; a servant sent 1l.; another servant, 2s 6d. by sale of articles
l3s. 1d. This morning, just before was going to the prayer-meeting, a
lady brought 3l.; and 5s. more I received this evening.
Dec. 21. Though 6s. 0s. 7d. had been received yesterday and the day
before, there was only 5s. remaining towards the supply of the
necessities of today. At one oclock three little boys gave me the
produce of their Orphan-box, which was 4s. 7d. When I came home, I
found that 18l. had come in, being a legacy left for the Orphans by a
lady who died at the commencement of the year. This money comes in
most seasonably, not merely for the supply of the wants of the
children, but also as enabling me to give to some of the labourers in
the Orphan-Houses supplies for themselves.
Dec. 23. This is now the sixth week that the labourers in the
Day-Schools and Orphan-Houses have daily met for prayer. Several
precious answers we have already received since we began to meet, as
it regards pecuniary supplies, fresh instances of conversion among
the children, etc. One of our petitions has been that the Lord would
be pleased to furnish us with means for a stove at Callowhill Street
School-room. But though we had often mentioned this matter before the
Lord, he seemed not to regard our request. Yesterday afternoon, while
walking in my little garden, and meditating and praying, I had an
unusual assurance that the time was now come when the Lord would
answer our request, which arose partly from my being able to believe
that He would send the means, and partly from the fact that the
answer could no longer be delayed, without prayer having failed in
this matter, as we could not assemble the children again, after the
Christmas vacation, without there being a stove put up. And now, dear
reader, observe:--This morning I received from A. B. 20l., and we
have thus much more than is required for a stove.
Dec. 24. On the 22nd and 23rd 2l. 0s. 5d. came in for the Orphans.
The need of today was 3l. 10s., but only 3l. was in hand. This
afternoon, however, 1l. was sent from Kensington and 1l. from
Plymouth. This evening we received still further anonymously 4s., and
by knitting 2l. 10s.
Dec. 25. By sale of articles was received 14s. 2d.
Dec. 26. This afternoon I was walking in my little garden, meditating
on and turning into prayer Rom. viii. 28-32. When I came to verse 32,
the necessity of the Orphans came to my mind, as tomorrow we shall
again need more money than there is in hand, and I therefore asked
the Lord that He would be pleased to give me a fresh proof that He
will "freely give us all things," by supplying our present need. This
evening I spoke on the above-mentioned passage, and after the meeting
a sister gave to my wife 12l., of which 10l. was for the Orphans, and
2l. for my own necessities. There came in 5s. besides.
Dec. 31. As only 1l. l5s. had been received since the 26th, there was
again nothing in hand towards the need of this day. About an hour
before the money was sent for from the Orphan-Houses, an individual
who lives in Redcliff Parish, Bristol, sent 5l. By sale of stockings
came in likewise 3s. 6d.
REVIEW OF THE YEAR 1841.
I. In reading over my journal, I find that the Lord has given me
during this year many precious answers to prayer, in addition to
those which have been recorded in the previous part of the Narrative.
I mention the following for the encouragement of the reader: 1, One
of the Orphan-Boys needed to be apprenticed. I knew of no suitable
believing master, who would take an in-door apprentice. I gave myself
to prayer, and brought the matter daily before the Lord. I marked it
down among the subjects for which I would daily ask the Lord; and at
last, though from May 21 to September I had to pray about the matter,
the Lord granted my request; for in September I found a suitable
place for him. 2, On May 23rd I began to ask the Lord that He would
be pleased to deliver a certain sister in the Lord from the great
spiritual depression under which she was suffering, and after three
days the Lord granted me my request. 3, On June 15th I began to ask
the Lord to deliver a brother at a distance from the great spiritual
nervousness in which he found himself shut up, which not only
distressed him exceedingly, and in a great measure hindered him in
his service towards the world and the church; but which, in
consequence, was also a trial to the saints who knew and valued this
dear brother. This petition I brought many times before the Lord. The
year passed away, and it was not granted. But yet at last this
request also has been granted to me and to the many dear saints who,
I know, prayed for this dear brother; for though he was for some
years in this state, it is now [in 1845] two years and more since he
has been quite restored. 4, On June 15th I also began to ask the Lord
daily, in His mercy to keep a sister in the Lord from insanity, who
was then apparently on the very border of it; and I have now [in
1845] to record to His praise, after nearly four years have passed
away, that the Lord has kept her from it. 5, During this year I was
informed about the conversion of one of the very greatest sinners,
that I ever heard of in all my service for the Lord. Repeatedly I
fell on my knees with his wife, and asked the Lord for his
conversion, when she came to me in the deepest distress of soul, on
account of the most barbarous and cruel treatment that she received
from him, in his bitter enmity against her for the Lords sake, and
because he could not provoke her to be in a passion, and she would
not strike him again, and the like. At the time when it was at its
worst I pleaded especially on his behalf the promise in Matthew
xviii. 19: "Again I say unto you, that if two of you shall agree on
earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for
them of my Father which is in heaven." And now this awful persecutor
is converted. 6, On May 25th I began to ask the Lord for greater real
spiritual prosperity among the saints, among whom I labour in
Bristol, than there ever yet had been among them; and now I have to
record to the praise of the Lord that truly He has answered this
request; for, considering all things, at no period has there been
more manifestation of grace and truth, and spiritual power among us,
than there is now while I am writing this for the press (1845). Not
that we have attained to what we might; we are far, very far from it;
but the Lord has been very, very good to us, and we have most
abundant cause for thanksgiving.
II. The state of the church with reference to numbers, etc.
68 brethren and sisters brother Craik and I found in communion, when
we came to Bristol.
775 have been admitted into communion since we came to Bristol.
843 would be, therefore, the total number of those in communion with
us, had there been no changes. But,
101 have left Bristol.
55 have left us, but are still in Bristol
48 are under church discipline.
67 have fallen asleep.
271 are therefore to be deducted from 843, so that there are only 572
at present in communion.
88 have been added during the past year, of whom 30 have been brought
to the knowledge of the Lord among us.
III. The Lords goodness as to my temporal supplies during this year.
1. The Lord has been pleased to give me by means of the anonymous
freewill offerings of the saints, put into the boxes at our meeting
places £116 2s. 4 3/4d.
2. By presents in money from the brethren among whom I labour in
Bristol £43 9s. 9d.
3. By presents in money from children of God not living in Bristol
£53 19s. 0d.
4. By presents in provisions, clothes, furniture, etc., from the
saints among whom I labour, worth to us at least £15 0s. 0d.
5. By presents in clothes, &c., from believers not living in Bristol,
worth to us at least £10 0s. 0d.
Altogether £238 11s. 1 3/4d.
Thus during this year also, without asking any one but the Lord for
help, with regard to ray temporal necessities, I have been richly
supplied with all I needed; yea, I have had much more than I needed.
January 1, 1842. Last night we had our usual prayer-meeting at the
close of the year, which this time lasted from seven in the evening
till half-past twelve.
Jan. 3. This evening we had a most precious public prayer-meeting.
When the usual time for closing the meeting came, it appeared to me
that there was a desire to continue to wait upon the Lord. I
therefore proposed to the brethren that those who had bodily
strength, time, and a desire for waiting still longer upon the Lord,
would do so. At least thirty remained, and we continued till after
ten in prayer, whilst several brethren prayed. I never knew prayer
more really in the Spirit. I experienced for myself unusual nearness
to the Lord, and was enabled to ask in faith, nothing doubting.
On the 1st of January came in for the Orphans 1l.7s. 6d.; on the 2nd
10l. 13s. 7d.; and today came in from Plymouth 6l., from Exmouth 5l.,
from a sister in Bristol 5l., and from the East Indies 2l. I have by
this 30l. 1s. 1d. been enabled, as it had been my prayer, to give
some money to the other five sisters who labour in the Orphan Houses,
for their own personal necessities.
Jan. 4. As we have often found it to be the case, so it is now. After
a season of more than usual poverty, comes a time of more than usual
abundance. Today the same brother, who has been spoken of under
November 2nd, and who has drawn his money out of the Savings-bank to
spend it for the Lord, sent 20l. more of it. There came in also from
Guernsey 1l., and 1l. 7s. besides. I am now able to order oatmeal
from Scotland, buy materials for the boys clothes, order shoes, etc.
Thus the Lord has been pleased to answer all our requests with
respect to the pecuniary necessities of the Orphans, which we have
brought before Him in our prayer meetings during the last seven
weeks. We have thus had of late an abundance, but the expenses have
been great also; for within the last twenty-five days I have paid out
above 100l.
Jan. 22. As only little above 32l. had been received since the 4th,
there was today again only 1l. 8s. 0 1/2d. in hand, whilst 31, 8s.
was needed, it being Saturday. However, as the Lord has helped us
very many Saturdays, when we had still less at the commencement of
the day, so it was today also. About an hour before the money was
called for, I received from the neighbourhood of Crediton 4l., which
came with the especial recommendation of a gentleman and lady to
introduce the use of oatmeal in the Orphan-Houses, if we had not done
so, and this money was sent towards the first supply. We have,
however, used oatmeal now for many months, and have found it
decidedly of great benefit to the children As about a fortnight since
I had ordered 10l. worth from Glasgow, this money came in most
seasonably to supply the other necessities of this day.
Jan. 24. Yesterday the Lord sent in 3l. 5s. 7d., to supply the need
of this day.
Jan. 25. There was now again this morning nothing in hand for the
Orphans. About ten oclock there was sent to me, as the produce of an
Orphan box, a small necklace, an old sixpence, and 5s. 8d. There came
in also by sale of stockings 3s. 9d. As this 9s. 5d. was not enough,
the boxes in the Orphan-Houses were opened, which contained 17s. 2d.,
and thus we were again supplied.
Perhaps, dear reader, you have said in your heart before you have
read thus far: "How would it be, suppose the funds for the Orphans
were reduced to nothing, and those who are engaged in the work had
nothing of their own to give, and a meal time were to come, and you
had no food for the children." Thus indeed it may be, for our hearts
are desperately wicked. If ever we should be so left to ourselves, as
that either we depend no more upon the living God, or that "we regard
iniquity in our hearts," then such a state of things, we have reason
to believe, would occur. But so long as we shall be enabled to trust
in the living God, and so long as, though falling short in every way
of what we might be, and ought to be, we are at least kept from
living in sin, such a state of things cannot occur. Therefore, dear
reader, if you yourself walk with God, and if, on that account, His
glory is dear to you, I affectionately and earnestly entreat you to
beseech Him to uphold us; for how awful would be the disgrace brought
upon His holy name, if we, who have so publicly made our boast in
Him, and have spoken well of Him, should be left to disgrace Him,
either by unbelief in the hour of trial, or by a life of sin in other
respects.
Jan. 26. Again there was nothing in hand when the day commenced. In
the course of the morning a gentleman from Yorkshire came to the
Orphan-Houses. He bought two Reports, and one copy of the "Improved
Renderings," put 2s. 6d. into the box at the Boys-Orphan-House, and
3s. into the box at the Infant-Orphan-House. There was also one penny
found in the box at the Girls-Orphan-House. This 6s. 10d. would
have provided the absolute necessities for today, but it was
desirable to have more means. I therefore opened the box in my house,
in which I found a sovereign and a shilling. We were thus comfortably
provided.
Jan. 27. Last evening came in 4s. This morning a parcel arrived from
E. P., containing 3s., and the following articles: 7 books, a Bible,
6 pairs of socks, 4 pairs of babies shoes, a purse, a ladys comb, a
ladys bag, a pair of knitted over-shoes, and 2 pairs of muffetees.
Yesterday afternoon a gentleman came to see the Orphan-Houses, and
put a sovereign into the box at the Boys-Orphan-House, which our
need has brought out. We have thus 1l. 7s. for this day.--Evening.
This afternoon came in still further 2l. from a lady at Kensington,
on whose heart the Lord seems to have particularly laid the work.