If you see half-a-dozen new patent leather covered basket-trunks with a
name written upon all of them, in staring white characters, accompanied
by a gigantic portmanteau and three hat-boxes, you may know that the
Honourable Lionel and Rowena Silverspoon have started on their
wedding-tour.
If you see a weather-beaten portmanteau, accompanied by a neat little
trunk and a pretty little birdcage, you may know that Edwin and Angelina
Dovecot are going to Ventnor for the honeymoon.
If you see a big carpet-bag, accompanied by a large white umbrella and a
tin colour-box, you may know that Daub, A. R. A., is going to Brittany in
search of subjects.
If you see an overcrowded portmanteau, accompanied by a double-locked
despatch-box, you may know that urgent private affairs have induced
Captain Bubble (Promoter of Public Companies) to leave the City
hurriedly for Spain.
If you see a small bundle, accompanied by a pair of handcuffs, you may
know that urgent public affairs have induced Sergeant Smart (of the
Detective Police) to follow the same _route_ taken by Captain Bubble _en
voyage_ for Spain.
If you see twenty-four patent reversible extra waterproof holdalls, with
all the latest improvements, painted blue, green, yellow, and red, and
covered with hotel labels, accompanied by thirty-seven deal packing
cases, you may know that Colonel Jerusalem R. X. E. Squash, U.S.A., and
family are engaged in "doing" Europe.
If you see fifteen trunks, all more or less damaged, accompanied by an
old portmanteau and a double perambulator, you may know that Mr. and
Mrs. Paterfamilias and children are going to Herne Bay for a month.
If you see, in conclusion, a neat knapsack and a spiked walking-stick,
you may know that _Mr. Punch_ is off to Switzerland to enjoy himself.
* * * * *
[Illustration: ADJUSTMENT
_Our Station-Master (to old Jinks, whom he had kindly provided with a
foot-warmer on a journey down the line to see his sick daughter)._
"Well, did you find the benefit of it, Master Jinks?"
_Old Jinks._ "Oh, aye, thankee, Mr. Green! Tha' there box o' hot water
tha' wor uncommon' comfor'able, sure-ly! I sat on 'm the whol' o' the
way, an' tha' did warm me up to-rights, I can tell 'ee!!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Passenger._ "Well, you say you've put all my luggage
safe, what are you waiting for?--I thought you were forbidden to take
money!"
_Porter._ "So we is, sir. We never 'takes' it--it's 'given to us!'"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: THE LIMITED MALE.]
* * * * *
SONG FOR ENGINE-DRIVERS BEFORE A COLLISION.--"Whistle--and I'll come to
you, my lad."
* * * * *
"READING between the lines" is a dangerous occupation--when there's a
train coming.
* * * * *
THE HIGH-METALLED RACER.--A locomotive engine.
* * * * *
[Illustration: A DEFINITION WANTED
"Beg pardon, sir, but don't you see the notice?"
"Yes, my good fellow, but I never said I was a gentleman!"]
* * * * *