_Barmaid._ "Tea, sir?"
_Mr. Boozy._ "Tea!!! ME!!!!"]
* * * * *
AS SHYLOCK SAID.--_Railway shareholder, with shares at a discount._
"Give me my principal, and let me go."
* * * * *
[Illustration: A SPEEDY RETRIBUTION
_Small Boy._ "'Arf ticket ter Baker Street."
[_Pays, and awaits delivery of ticket_
_Clerk._ "It's a shameful thing, a kid like you smoking!"
_Small Boy (indignantly)._ "Who are yer callin' a kid? I'm fourteen!"
_Clerk._ "Oh, are you? Then you pay full fare to Baker Street!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: A HINT TO RAILWAY TRAVELLERS
By breathing on the glass--and holding a speaking doll by way of baby to
the window--you may generally keep your compartment select.]
* * * * *