SCENE--_A mile and a half to the railway
station, on a bitter winter's night._
_Genial Host (putting his head out of doors)._ Heavens! what a night!
Not fit to turn a dog out! (_To the parting guest._) Well, good-night,
old chap. I hope you find your way to the station.
* * * * *
[Illustration: A LUXURIOUS HABIT
_Philanthropist (to railway porter)._ "Then what time do you get to
bed?"
_Porter._ "Well, I seldom what yer may call gets to bed myself, 'cause
o' the night trains. But my brother, as used to work the p'ints further
down the line, went to bed last Christmas after the accident, and
never----"
[_Train rushes in, and the parties rush off._]
* * * * *
HARD LINES ON INDIVIDUALS.--The compulsory purchase of land by a
railway company is insult added to injury. The buyers take a site in the
seller's face.
* * * * *
"THE ROLL OF THE AGES."--The penny roll at railway refreshment-rooms.
* * * * *
[Illustration: "THE OTHER WAY ABOUT"
_Irate Passenger (as train is moving off)._ "Why the ---- didn't you put
my luggage in as I told you--you old ----"
_Porter._ "E--h, man! yer baggage es na sic a fule as yersel. Ye're i'
the wrang train!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Railway Porter._ "Dogs not allowed inside the carriages,
sir!"
_Countryman._ "What not a little tooy tarrier? Wall, thee'd better tak'
un oot then, young man!"]
* * * * *