_How a Gentleman that fell in Love with another Mans Wife, through the
Advice of a Bawd enjoy'd her, and upon what Terms, and what happen'd
thereupon._
An Amorous Spark having observed a very fine Woman sitting in a
_Goldsmiths_ Shop behind the Counter, was so much taken with her, that
nothing wou'd serve him but enjoying her; which yet he was altogether at a
Loss how to accomplish, having no manner of Acquaintance either with her or
her Husband. In this hopeless condition he goes to a Bawd, who had several
times assisted him in his Love Intreagues, and tells her at what a non-plus
he was how to accomplish his Design: The Bawd at first persuades him off of
her, and promises to help him to one that shall not only equal but surpass
her: But all that was in vain, for nothing wou'd Satify but, only this very
Person. Well, says this Mistress in the Mystery of Iniquity, I'll tell you
how you shall obtain your Purpose, if you are resolv'd to pursue it: Do but
that, says he, and you'll oblige me for ever,--Well then, says she, you
must take an opportunity to go into the Shop when she's there, and buy some
little Trifle or other of her, or her Husband, and repeat this so often,
buying sometimes one thing, and sometimes another, till by degrees you have
brought your self acquainted with her and her Husband, and in so doing, you
cann't miss of an opportunity to sound her Inclinations: If Pleasure has
the Ascendant over her, you'll gain your Point the sooner; but if money be
the Idol she adores, you must attack her with Gifts, and making Presents to
her, and you cannot fail of Prevailing: The Gentleman lik'd her counsel
very well, and was resolv'd to take it: And accordingly took an opportunity
to buy a Silver _Snush-Box_; and having before bought some fine French
Walnuts, he presented his Mistress with some, and by cracking of them, had
an opportunity to tarry longer in the Shop, and gaze more on that Beauty
which had already overcome him. In two or three days after, he comes again
and buys half a dozen Silver Spoons and Forks, and then brought some
peaches to his Mistress and presents her with them; and a Week after buys
some other odd things; and still brought something or other which he
presented to his Mistress; who always look'd upon it as the Effect of his
good-nature, and Affable Temper, and had no apprehension of his being her
humble Servant. After he had drove this Trade of being a constant Customer
to the Shop for several Weeks together, and had made no farther progress of
his Amours save to be look'd on as a Friend and Acquaintance, and once or
twice invited to Dinner; at one of which times her Husband was call'd down
into the Shop, to a Customer; in which Interim, he took an opportunity to
acquaint her somewhat darkly with his Passion, which she either did not, or
wou'd not understand; So that he begun almost to Despair, and complain'd to
the Bawd how much charge he had been at, and what little likelihood there
was of attaining his end.
The Bawd told him he had no reason yet to complain; for having got an
Acquaintance there, and once discovered his Passion, he had brought things
to a pretty good forwardness: My advice therefore now is, said she, that
you let her absolutely know your Mind, and solicite her for the last
Favour; and let me know your success, and then I'll tell you how you shall
proceed.
He once more takes her Counsel, and going to cheapen some _Knick knacks_
there, he finds her all alone; and having bought something of her, letting
it lie upon the Counter, Madam, says he, I have made many Errands hither,
but 'tis for your sake; for you are my chief Business, and your
incomparable and Peerless Beauty, has made that Impression in my heart as
will put a sudden Period to my Life unless your Compassion will grant me a
Reprieve: for nothing can retrieve it, but the Enjoyment of your Love, and
Beauty.--I can't believe, Sir, says she, that that poor Stock of Beauty I
am Owner of, can ever produce any such fatal Effects as those you speak of.
But 'tis the common Theam that you are pleas'd to entertain our Sex withal,
tho there be nothing in it. However, 'tis methinks a great Peice of Folly
to love at that rate, where you can have no hopes of Enjoyment: for I am
otherways dispos'd of: And there are young Ladies enough that are single,
that are more worthy of you. I question not Madam, _replyed he_, but I
might have choice of Mistresses: But, 'tis you only that have wounded me,
and therefore 'tis you alone that can effect my Care.--What wou'd you have
me do to cure you, Sir, said she? Do, Madam, said he! Grant me the
Enjoyment of your Love, for that alone can give me Ease. Why, said she,
wou'd you have me wrong my Husband's Bed? Shou'd I do so, how do you think
he'd take it? E'en bad enough, I do believe, said he; if you shou'd let him
know it; but sure there's no necessity of that. And if you keep your
Counsel, I shall take nothing from him he can miss.--Hold, Sir, says she,
you talk as if we were already both agreed; but you shall find there will
be two Words to the making of that Bargain. Besides you dont--But here's my
Husband coming, says the Jilt--Indeed Sir; I have sold you a Pen'worth in
it: I'll be Judg'd by my Husband. (Her Husband coming then into the Shop)
the Gentleman perceiving how cunningly she turn'd off her Discourse, told
her he did believe she had'nt wrong'd him much, and he was satisfied. And
then shewing her Husband what he had bought, and what he paid for it, he
told him his Wife had us'd him very well: And so he took his leave of 'em;
and went to his old Crone the Bawd, and told her what had past. You may
depend upon it, says the Bawd, that sh'll comply; but you must Fee her
pretty high, or it won't do. This made him Shrug; for tho he had a great
mind to enjoy her, he was not willing to be at too much charge Which the
Old Bawd perceiving, told him he cou'd not hope to carry her under a
Present of at least Fifty Guinea's; but yet, says she, if you will give me
but Five, I'll warrant you shall gain your Point without being at any
Charge at all: Make but that out, says he, and I'll promise you the five
Guinea's as soon as e'er I have enjoy'd her: No, Sir, says the Bawd, I'll
have my Money in hand; for you know, we never trust. Well, says he, here's
your Money, and giving it into her hand, Now let me know your Method. Upon
which the Bawd thus began.
Before I proceed, pray tell me the Price of that Diamond Ring you wear upon
your Finger: Why what wou'd you do with that, replies the Beau; I woud'nt
part with my Ring for an hundred Guineas, for it cost me above Four-score,
and I had a great Peniworth in it; and if you'd have me to give her that,
this is all Trick and Cheat; and I am only Funn'd out of five Guineas for
nothing. Why so hasty, says the Bawd? I design no such matter; but you
won't hear me out. Go to the Goldsmith, and tell him you are disappointed
of a Bill that you expected out of the Country, and that you have a Present
occasion for fifty Guineas, which you must desire him to let you have, and
you'll leave him that Ring as a pledge in the mean time; and that as soon
as your Bill comes to Town, which you expect every day, you'll pay him
again. This is a kindness he won't deny you, because he runs no hazzard in
it, and thereby he obliges a Customer. When you have got these fifty
Guineas, take the first opportunity to discourse your Mistress; if you find
she'll do't for Love, your Money's sav'd, and you have nothing else to do
but enjoy her: But if the Jade be mercenary, as I dare say she is, you must
tempt her with Gold; and that you may be sure to make her bite, give her
the fifty Guineas that you borrow'd of her Husband.--A Pox take ye, for an
Old Bitch, says he, in a kind of Passion; is this the way to bring me off
for nothing?--You are too hasty still, replyes the Bawd; let me have done
first, and then talk your Pleasure: Do, as I say; give her the fifty
Guineas; and when you have enjoy'd her stay with her, either in the
Chamber, or the Shop, until her Husband does come in: And when you see him,
tell him you have receiv'd the Bill that you expected, and have brought the
fifty Guineas that you borrow'd of him, and paid it to his Wife; and so
desire him to let you have your Ring again. His Wife (to save her Honour)
can do no less than own she has receiv'd the Money; and so her Husband must
restore your Ring. And then do you be judge whether or no you don't come
off for nothing. Well, thee'rt a dear sweet Rogue for this Contrivance,
says he, and I could almost kiss thee, but that thy Mouth's so strongly
guarded by thy Nose and Chin, that there's no coming at it: I like thy Plot
extreamly well; and I'll go presently and put it in Execution.
Away goes the Fop, as well pleas'd to think he shou'd put a Trick on his
Mistress as he shou'd enioy her, which for the Lucre of the Fifty Guinea's
he no longer question'd. And coming to the Goldsmith's Shop, he pulls his
Ring off of his Finger, and asks him what he'll give him for't: The
Goldsmith having look'd upon it, told him he'd give him Seventy Guineas for
it. It cost me more than Eighty, says the Beau, but I won't part with it;
only because I'm short of Money, being disappointed of a Bill that I
expected to receive, I must desire the kindness of you to let me have fifty
Guineas on it till I receive my Bill, which will be in a Fortnight or three
Weeks time at farthest; and I'll allow you what you shall think reasonable
for it. The Goldsmith very readily gives him the fifty Guineas be desir'd,
and takes his Ring as a Security. And so taking his leave, goes home very
well satisfied; he had proceeded thus far prosperously.
In two or three days after, he goes to make a Visit to the Goldsmith's
Wife; and it fell out in such a lucky minute, that her Husband was from
home; whereby he had an opportunity with the more freedom to renew his
Suit; and tho' he arm'd himself with all the Charms he cou'd, taking the
Auxiliary helps both of the _Tayler_, _Barber_, and _Perfumer_; yet it all
wou'd not do: Fain he'd ha'd sav'd running the hazard of his fifty Guineas;
but when he found he cou'd not without such a Present obtain his wish'd
Enjoyment, he as his last Effort, address'd her thus: Well, Madam; I do
perceive you are of kin to _Danae_, whom _Jove_ himself could not prevail
upon until he courted her in Showers of Gold, an that dissolv'd her quickly
into Love; & I intend to follow his Example, and to Enjoy your Favour I
make this Present to you, and, therewithal gave her the fifty Guineas. And
this had so soon molified her Stubborness, and made her maleable, that she
straight made him this agreeable Return; Well, Sir, I see you are so much a
Gentleman, that I scarce know how to deny you any longer: Your Amiable
Person and good Humour, has over-come me so, I can no longer make
Resistance, but offer my self to your Embraces. The Gallant then enquir'd
if all were safe below, and if they shou'd not be in danger of meeting any
Interruption from her Husband. To which she bid him never fear, all was
secure enough. And then conducting him into the Chamber, she let him have
what he so much desir'd. When he had thus debauch'd her, and satisfy'd his
Lustful Appetite, he ask'd her how long 'twould be before her Husband wou'd
be at home again, she told him he was gone out of Town; and wou'd not be at
home this Ten-days. At which he seem'd to be surpriz'd, for he was loath to
be without his Ring so long; but since there was no Remedy, he was resolv'd
to wait till he came home. His Mistress seeing him so indifferent at the
hearing of her Husbands Absence, cou'd not tell what to think shou'd be the
reason of it; and ask'd him what 'twas troubled him? Nothing, my Dear, said
he, but I was thinking how crosly things fell out; because my own Affairs
obliges me to be some Days out of Town just at this happy Juncture, when I
might have been blest so oft with your Embraces. The cunning Baggage (now
she had got his fifty Guinea's) was as indifferent as he for that, and told
him Time might present 'em with another opportunity which might be full as
favourable. And so they parted.
The Spark was satisfied with the enjoyment of his Lady, and that Itch now
was Cur'd; he only wanted back his Ring, or else his fifty Guineas, that he
might demand it of her Husband; and now reflecting on his short liv'd
Pleasure, he truly judg'd that he had bought it at too dear a Rate, altho'
he should be only at the Five Guineas Charge he gave the Bawd.
But since the Goldsmith's being out of Town was such a Disappointed as
cou'd not be fore-seen, & yet had been extreamly serviceable to him in the
Enjoyment of his Mistress, he goes to the Old Bawd, and gives her an
Account of what had pass'd, and asks her further how he must proceed in
getting of his Ring again, without repaying of the Fifty Guineas? Give me
the other Fee, says the Old Jade, and I'll inform you; for I am like a
Lawyer, and don't know how to speak without a Fee. No, no, says he, I have
Feed enough before, nor would I give so much again, for all the Pleasure
her Enjoyment gave me.--The Bawd, (since she saw nothing more was to be got
by him) advises him to wait the Goldsmiths coming home, and then take a fit
opportunity to go to her alone, and to pretend he was just come to Town;
and to desire another Assignation from her, which being made, and you
having once more Enjoy'd her, stay till her Husband comes, and do as you
were first directed. And when you have got your Ring again, I hope you'll
then present me with two Guineas more.--No, not a Farthing more, says he,
you know I paid you very well before-hand: And so left her.
The Bawd perceiving nothing more was to be got from him, resolv'd she wou'd
be even with him, and take another Course to make a Penny of him: And
thereupon goes the next Morning to the Goldsmith's Shop, and asks the
Prentice if his Mistress was within; He answers, Yes, and she reply'd she
must needs speak with her, who coming down, the Bawd Whispers her in the
Ear, that she had something to acquaint her with, of great Importance to
her; which was not fit to be discours'd of Publickly: And thereupon the
Mistress ask'd her to walk up, and leading of her into a with-drawing Room,
desir'd her to sit down, and then intreated her to tell her Business; upon
which the Bawd began as followeth.
Madam.
_Altho' I am a Stranger to you, I doubt not but you will excuse the
rudeness of this Visit, when you shall know 'twas only the Concern I have
to see a lady of your Worth and Beauty, so much Design'd upon and Trick'd,
as you are like to be, that has occasion'd it: I Know therefore, Madam,
that there's a Gentleman, who has been for some time a great Admirer of
your Matchless Beauty, which truly does deserve all those Encomiums that I
have often heard him justly give it. This Gentleman, under the Notion of a
Customer, has made you many Visits: And has been pleas'd (I know not for
what reason) to make me his Confident; of which I need give you no further
Instant, then that he has acquainted me that but a few Days past he gave
you fifty Guineas, for which by way of Gratitude, he was admitted to enjoy
your last Favours_:--_Here the Young Lady interrupted her, all Blushing and
Confus'd_; Madam, you've fully satisfy'd me, _said she_, that that false
man has let you know my Weakness, and most ungratefully expos'd my Honour,
and betray'd me to the world.--_Nay, Madam_; said the Bawd, _be not so
passionate; I don't believe he has acquainted any with it, but myself. Nor
let the thoughts of that at all disturb you; for, that's a Crime that I
have known, for more than thirty-Years, the rest of all our Sex has scarce
been free from. But that which more stirs up my Spleen against him, is for
the Trick he designs to put upon you still; which is the only reason of my
giving you this trouble_. You will oblige me in it very much, _reply'd the
Goldsmith's Wife_. _Then this_ says the Bawd, _it is. He understands your
Husband is now out of Town; and will be so for Seven or Eight Days time. As
soon as he comes home, your Gallant will be with you to appoint him a time
in which he may again enjoy your Favour; which when he has enjoy'd, he does
intend to tarry till your Husband shall come in, and then accquaint him
that he has paid to him the fifty Guineas that he borrow'd of him on his
Ring; and so desire that he may have his Ring again; which is the thing he
aims at. For he well knows, that when you shall be askt whether or no you
have receiv'd the 50 Guineas, your Honour is so far concern'd, you can't
deny it_. O Treach'rous Villian _said the She Goldsmith, with some
indignation_, Is this the Generosity he so much boasted of? _Yes, Madam_,
says the Bawd, _this is what he designs to do; But I am so concerned to see
a Lady of your Worth so basely and ingratefully impos'd upon, I could not
but discover it: And if you wou'd be rul'd by me, you shou'd out-Trick the
Fop, and catch him in the Snare he'd lay for you._--O I'd do any thing to
be reveng'd on him, _cry'd the young Lady with some eagerness_: And do but
tell me how, and Keep my Counsel, and I'll so well reward you for your
Pains, that you shall say I'm grateful.--_Then Madam_, says the Bawd, _as
soon as your Husband comes to Town, before he comes to know of it, send one
to tell him that you must needs speak with him about earnest Business, and
when he's come, tell him that you expect your Husband the next day; and
therefore beg the Favour of him to let you have his Company that Night, and
as an Earnest of your Love to him, & that he should not think you
mercenary, you'll both return him Fifty Guineas, and give him back the Ring
he gave your Husband for a Pawn: And tell him likewise you have engag'd the
Maid to Secresie; for which if he presents her with a Guinea, 'tis all he
needs to do: This will, I'm sure engage him; for he's as Covetous as he is
Lustful: And when he's thus engag'd, in the next place acquaint your
Husband how you cou'd scarce have any quiet in his absence from this young
Spark's continual Solicitations to unlawful Love. Then tell him that you
have appointed him to come that Evening, of which you thought fit to
acquaint him, that he might give him that Correction which he saw
necessary, to cool his too hot Blood: This will so much confirm your
Husband in his opinion of your inviolable Chastity, that all your
Treacherous Gallant shall offer to the contrary will be look'd upon as the
Effect of Malice and Revenge. Thus you'll confirm your Reputation to the
World, and keep these Fifty Guineas he designs to cheat you out of, and be
sufficiently reveng'd on an ungrateful Man._
_Well_ (says the injur'd Gentlewoman) _I'm pleas'd with your Contrivance;
keep but my Counsel, and you shall see my Vengeance on this ungrateful
Wretch, and with how just a Retribution I shall use him for his intended
Villany. And that you may be sensible you have not lost your Labour, accept
of this_; and therewithal she put Ten Guineas in her hand, and promis'd her
a further Token of her Gratitude: And so dismist her.--The Bawd was well
pleas'd with the Mornings Work she'd made; and finding that the Goldsmith's
Wife was like to be the better Customer, she hugg'd her self for her
contrivance, and her Treachery to the Cully Beau.
That Afternoon the _Wrathful Lady_ receiv'd a Letter from her Husband, that
he intended to be in Town the _Thursday_ following, and desir'd her to meet
him that day at _Hammersmith_ about noon, where he wou'd dine with her, and
so come home together. She therefore sent a Messenger to tell her
Treacherous Lover she must needs speak with him on _Thursday Morning_, for
she had something of Moment to impart to him; who presently on the
receiving of this Note, came to her, fearing there might be some Discovery
of their Love-enjoyment.
As soon as he was come, she tells him she was extreamly Troubled she had
not seen him since; and that she never had enjoy'd more pleasure than in
his Embraces; and understanding that her Husband wou'd be at home on
_Friday Night_, she had contriv'd things so, that he might freely, and
without Interruption, lie with her on _Thursday Night_. Which she desir'd
on the Account of that affection which she had for him, and of the Pleasure
which she took in his Embraces; and that he might be satisfy'd 'twas so,
she did engage the next Morning to present him with his Fifty Guineas,
which, she was sorry that she had took of him: And as a further Testimony
of it, if he could but procure things necessary for the picking of the
Locks belonging to her Husbands Cabinet, she'd give him back the Diamond
Ring he gave her Husband as a Pledge for fifty Guineas; and, as occasion
offer'd, wou'd be very grateful to him otherways.
These _Generous Offers_ overcame the Spark to all Intents and purposes; and
he wou'd fain have been a dabling with her then; But she forbid him, and
told him 'twas not at that time convenient, but she had order'd matters so,
that when he came on _Thursday-night,_ there shou'd be nothing that shou'd
interrupt them. Telling him further, she had made the Maid acquainted with
their Secrets, who was intirely in their Interests, and that it wou'd not
be amiss to give her something as an Encouragement: And thereupon, calling
the Maid to fetch a Bottle of Wine, he gave her half a Guinea, and told
her, _that was but an Earnest of that which he intended her to
Morrow-night_. And then drinking his Wine up, he gave his Mistress a
Salute, and took his leave; she bidding him besure not to forget to bring
the _Picklocks_ with him, that she might help him to the Ring.
The Plot being thus laid, on _Thursday-Morning_, she prepares to meet her
Husband; having before acquainted her Maid with her Design, who mightily
commended both her Honesty and Ingenuity, for she knew nothing of what had
before past between 'em.
Being come to _Hammersmith_, and meeting with her Husband there, she told
him she had something to say to him privately that did as much concern his
Honour as her own: And then, as they were walking together in the Garden
she thus began to tell him her Design.
My Dear,
_I doubt not but you are well satisfied that I have all along took care in
all my Actions still to approve my self _(what you shall ever find me) a
chaste and vertuous Wife_, and tho' I am not sensible I ever gave
encouragement to any lustful Eyes to cast a wanton Glance at me yet so it
is, I have been solicited to commit Folly both against Heaven and you, with
that young Gentleman to whom you lent the 50 Guineas on the Diamond Ring; &
tho' I have as oft deny'd his Suit as he has made it, yet he continues his
Solicitations still; and has been so importunate of late that I could
scarce be ever quiet for him: And therefore being with me Yesterday, &
urging me for my Consent to his unlawful Amours, I did appoint him to come
to me this Night; having before receiv'd your Letter, by which I knew you
wou'd be then at home. The lustful Fool is extream Confident that I will
yield to his Desires; & since he wants no Money I thought it best to seem
to yield to him, that having caught him your Trap, you may deal with him as
you please. And there's another thing that I have to acquaint you with, and
that is, that he's as _Covetous_ as he is _Leacherous_, and did but
Yesterday solicit me to let him have his Ring: And tho' (to put him off) I
told him 'twas lock'd up in a Cabinet of which you had the Key: yet he
reply'd that he cou'd bring a _Picklock_ with him that cou'd open it. So
that I am afraid he does design as well to rob you of your Treasure as your
Honour. But ere to morrow Morning, I hope you'll have it in your power to
make him pay for his Attempting either. At least I have contributed what I
can towards it, and leave the rest to you._
The poor _Contented Goldsmith_, (who thought his Wife far Chaster than
_Diana_ of her _Nymphs_; and that the Wife of _Collatine_ wa'nt worthy to
compare to her) was hugely pleas'd with his Wife's Policy; and therefore
order'd her to go home first alone, whilst he came after her _Incognito_;
and when her Gallant came, he bid her hasten him to bed; and whilst she
stood before him, that the Maid shou'd take away his Sword, and then he
thought he might the better deal with a Naked Man: All which she promis'd
him shou'd be obey'd.
At Night the poor deluded _Cully_ comes to the _Goldsmith's_, according to
appointment; and was conducted presently up Stairs; where, he might the
less suspect foul Play, he finds a good Collation was proyided, which he
and his false Mistress feasted at, _she urging him to make haste into Bed,
that there they might have more delicious Dainties_, and she beginning to
undress her self, he made most haste and first got into Bed; and then the
Maid (as she was before directed) having privately carry'd off the Sword,
comes running in upon a sudden, and cries out, _O Mistress, we are all
undone! My Master's coming up Stairs_. Up gets the Quaking Beau
immediately, and runs under the Bed, which he had but just done, before the
_Goldsmith_ enter'd: Who seeing of his Wife, Accosts her thus, _My Dear I'm
come a Day sooner than I expected_,--_You're very Welcome, Love_, said she
again, looking as one surpriz'd, at which, cries he, _Why how now? What's
the matter with you?_ And then looking about the Chamber, he sees a very
Beauish Powder'd Wig; _Ah ha!_ says he; _What have we here? A Wig, new
Powder'd! Pray whose Wig is this? I'm sure 'tis none of mine_; then looking
on the Bed, he sees a pair of Breeches lie, _Hey dey!_ Cries he, _Pray
whose are these?_ _They're yours_, said she, _for ought I know_, (speaking
a little surlily) _whose shou'd they be, d'ye think?_ _They're none of
mine_, says he, _I'm sure; But let me see, what is there in 'em?_--Then
searching of the Pockets, he pulls out a Gold Watch, about Nine or Ten
Guineas, a Silver Snush-Box, and several Pick-Locks: As soon as he
perceiv'd the Pick-Locks, _So, so_, cries he, _here's a fine Trade indeed!
Cou'd you get none to serve you, but some Newgate-Stallion; One that us'd
to Break up Houses, and Pick open Locks! Where is this Villain_, says he,
_that Wrongs my Bed, and thus dishonours me, that I may run my Sword into
his Heart, and send him of an Errand to the Devil?_
The Poor Dejected Wretch, that look'd each moment to be stuck to th' Floor,
resolving now to venture on the Goldsmith's Clemency, came trembling out
from underneath the Bed, & begg'd of him to save his Life, and he wou'd
tell him all that e'er he knew. _Don't tell me_, says the Goldsmith _of
what you know, but tell me what Satisfaction shall I have for the wrong
you've done me, to come thus to defile my Bed?_ _Indeed_, said he, _I did
it never but once before_. _How!_ says the Goldsmith, _have you lain with
my Wife before?_ _Yes, if it please you, once, and never but once_. With
that his Wife with open mouth came to him, _O Villain_, said she, _art not
thou asham'd thus falsly to accuse me to my Husband, because thy own base
wicked inclinations are now brought to light? Hast thou not been soliciting
of me to act Uncleanness with thee, a long time, and I refus'd it always?
Nay, didst thou not intice me to it Yesterday, and I appointed thee to come
to Night, because I knew my Husband wou'd be at home to give thee thy
Reward? Let the Maid speak, I won't be my own Judge_--_Yes, Sir_, reply'd
the Maid, _I know that what my Mistress says is true_--
The Goldsmith then seeming to look more wistly at him, _What, Mr._
Bramble__ says he, as if he'd been surpriz'd: _Is't you that did intend to
claw me off thus? And then to mend the matter, go to accuse my Wife too, as
if she had been Dishonest with you; when I am satisfied there e'nt an
honester Woman in the Kingdom. Why to be plain with ye, 'tis she that has
discover'd all your Roguery_: As soon as he heard that, lifting up his
Hands and Eyes, _O the Deceit_, said he, _that is in Women!_ Pray give me
leave to put my Cloaths on, and then hear me what I have to say--_No_, says
the Goldsmith, _I'll not part with these Cloaths; but yet I'll lend you
something to cover your Nakedness with all_; and then bid the Maid to reach
him an old Suit of his. Which having put on, _Now_, says he, _give me but
leave to speak, and I will tell you how false that Woman is_: Come, said
the Goldsmith, let's hear what you have to say. Upon which _Bramble_ thus
began.
I must confess my Fault; I do acknowledge I did oft-times solicite your
Wife to let me lie with her, and I must do her that Justice to tell you
that she still refus'd it; until at last I borrow'd fifty Guineas of you on
a Ring, and that I gave her, and she thereupon permitted me to lie with
her. And I ne'er thought of Lying with her more, until she sent for me
yesterday morning; and told me how much she lov'd me, and that you were to
come home on Friday-night, and she wou'd have me Lie with her on Thursday
night; and that to let me know how well she lik'd me, she wou'd return me
back again the fifty Guineas that I gave her, and also give me back the
Ring I pawn'd to you for fifty Guineas. And that was the Occasion of my
coming here to Night.
_But_ said the Goldsmith, _Pray resolve me one thing; What made you bring
the Pick-locks in your Pocket?_
I brought these Pick-locks, _reply'd he_, at her desire, to open the
Cabinet, wherein the Ring was put.
_By that_, answer'd the Goldsmith, _I know that what you have said is
false. For what need she to have desir'd you to bring Picklocks to open the
Cabinet withal, when as the Key of it was in her keeping? for I left it
with her when I went out of Town._
'Tis very true, my Dear, _reply'd his Wife_, and here it is. And then going
to her Chest of Drawers, she gave him out the Key of the Cabinet.
_No, Sirrah_, says the Goldsmith, _you're a Rascal; and you accuse my
Chaste and Vertuous Wife because she has discover'd your Baseness--'Tis
plain enough that your Design was to debauch my Wife, and then to Rob my
House; and I will make you suffer for't, before I've done with you. I've
lost above Five hundred pounds already; and for ought I know you may be the
Thief; for I have found you in my Chamber underneath my Bed, with Picklocks
in your Breeches--Here Boy go call a Constable._
The poor _Beau_ finding himself in such bad Circumstances, begg'd him for
Heavens sake, he wou'd not to call a Constable; for if he shou'd be sent to
Goal, his Reputation wou'd be lost for ever. Matters were private now, and
if they might be kept so, let him but make his own Demands, and he wou'd
satisfie 'em.--This Generous submission did somewhat qualifie the
Goldsmith's Passion. And calling of his Man to fetch his Books up, he
look'd what he had lost by Mr _Theif_, and finding there about four hundred
Pounds set down, he told him, _That he'd use him kindly, and take his Bond
for Three hundred and fifty pound, including in it the fifty Guineas he had
lent him; and for the Ring, since he had in so gross a manner abus'd his
Wife, he shou'd bestow that on her, to make her Satisfaction._
These were hard Terms poor _Bramble_ thought; but yet considering his
Circumstances, he judg'd 'twas better to comply than go to Goal, which
wou'd be the Result of being had before a Justice.
The Bonds being made and Seal'd, he fetches him the Ring, which he, (with
begging of her Pardon,) presents the Goldsmith's Wife, and desires her to
accept of it for the affront he so unworthily had put upon her. And then,
after a Bottle of Wine at parting, they let him go; restoring him his
Cloaths and all things again. She telling of him, as he was going out of
Doors, _She hop'd that this wou'd be a warning to him how he hereafter went
about to put Tricks upon Gentlewomen, or make his Boast what private
Favours he had receiv'd from 'em._
_Thus still the Bawd tempts all she can to Sin,_
_And leaves them in the Lurch, when once they're in:_
_To heap up Gold, which she so much adores,_
_She makes Men Atheists, and makes Women Whores,_
_She lives by Sin; and if she can but gain,_
_She has her End, let those that list Complain._
* * * * *