HONOURABLE SERVICE.
In my former chapter I called the position of a domestic servant an
_honourable_ and _responsible_ one, and I will now give my reasons for
using these two words. I wonder whether many young girls who serve
in the household have considered how very much they are trusted.
Perhaps they never crossed the threshold of the home in which they
have obtained a situation until the very day on which they enter upon
its duties; and yet from the very moment that the young stranger girl
enters the house, she is of necessity taken more into the family
confidence than any outsider can possibly be.
She knows all about the going out and coming in of every member of
the family. In many cases she sees and hears what even the children,
especially the younger ones, are not permitted to know.
In the performance of her various duties, when waiting at table and
elsewhere, she overhears conversations which speakers would not like
to have repeated. She cannot help, in like manner, being acquainted
with numbers of little family secrets that are never intended to pass
beyond the walls of the home--things that would not be told even to
friends, except in the strictest confidence.
Yet the master, mistress, and children receive the stranger girl,
often knowing very little about her family and of herself, only so
much as can be gleaned during half an hour’s talk, or, it may be, a
short letter from a former employer--just a sheet of paper with a few
formally written answers to a few set questions, such as relate to the
work of that particular situation she wishes to undertake. The future
mistress has probably asked how the girl has done her work in her last
place; whether she is cleanly, honest, truthful, obliging, and so on.
In many cases the information is given by one of whom we know little
more than we do of the girl respecting whose character we inquire. And
there are always far more important questions than those alluded to,
which are never asked, and if they were, would seldom be explicitly
answered. Yet, on the strength of that brief written recommendation, or
after half an hour’s conversation, we take a girl into our home, and
place in her hands a very large share of its comfort and safety. She is
allowed to see and to know all the little household details which are
hidden even from our nearest friends.
We exact from our girl domestics no pledge of confidence, no promise
not to betray our trust by gossiping about what they hear or see;
what, indeed, they _must_ witness, unless we are to live in a state of
unnatural restraint, and make the entrance of our servants a signal for
silence! Such a state of things would be equally trying to them, to our
guests, and to ourselves.
If I were a girl in a situation, I hope I should feel ‘upon honour’
with regard to these things. I should like to be able to say, ‘I am
glad and thankful to be trusted, and, by God’s help, I will try to
merit the confidence which my master and mistress place in me. I may
not be bound by any promise to them, but I am bound far more firmly by
my sense of what is right, by the witness of my own conscience, and by
the thought of what I should like if I were in their places. No one
shall ever be able to blame me for tale-telling, or gossiping about
their concerns. I may be a young servant, but if I am a Christian girl,
the same spirit should animate me that inspires the greatest lady in
the land. I, if I understand the teaching of God’s Word aright, am
bound by the same laws in my position as my mistress is in hers.’
To be above the meanness which would screen itself from blame as a
tattler, because no promise of silence has been given, is as becoming
to the servant as it is to the mistress. To be true, not merely in
word, but in heart and in act, is as incumbent upon the servant who
professes to be a Christian as it is upon the heads of the household,
and why?
Because in God’s Word you are bidden to perform your duties ‘in
singleness of your heart as unto Christ; not with eye-service as
men-pleasers, but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from
the heart; with goodwill doing service as to the Lord, and not to men.
Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he
receive of the Lord, whether he be bond or free.’
Employers are also reminded that their ‘Master also is in heaven,
neither is there respect of persons with Him.’
The same law, you see, both for employers and employed. All have to
give an account to the same Master, before whom neither rank, riches,
nor position will avail anything. The question which concerns all of us
alike is this, ‘What sort of an account can I give of the way in which
I have done my duty in the place which, in the good providence of God,
I have been called on to fill?’
If it becomes the mistress to be above tattling and meanness, to
be true in word and deed, to be self-denying and considerate of the
feelings of others, to be pure in speech and in life, to be careful as
to the persons with whom she associates, surely all these things are
equally essential to the young servant! To the latter it often happens
that her good character is her fortune, that on it she depends for the
very bread she eats and the roof which shelters her. Even if she did
not, ‘A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving
favour rather than silver and gold.’
People say there is a skeleton in every house; it is the same thing as
saying that there is no home without some secret sorrow that the owner
would shrink from letting the world see. Well, if any of you dear girls
know where the skeleton is, say to yourselves, ‘My hand shall never
draw the curtain that hides it, or open the door of the cupboard in
which it is concealed.’
This is the right way in which to look at one of the responsibilities
of your position. You may make it doubly honourable by your own
conduct, and by the manner in which you show that you not only _must_
be trusted, but that you deserve to be.
Unfortunately we do not find that all girls act up to such a high
standard as this. We have all known some who have been faithful
enough so long as a thoroughly good understanding existed between
them and their employers. But perhaps something has gone wrong, and a
disagreement has arisen between the girl and her mistress.
A sharp reproof has called forth an angry retort, and the
‘I’m-as-good-as-you’ sort of spirit has got into the young mind.
Either mistress or maid gives a month’s notice, and with the prospect
of parting comes an entire change in the relations of the parties
concerned.
Sometimes the girl acts defiantly and disrespectfully. She forgets the
many marks of kindness and confidence she has received, the peace and
comfort she has enjoyed under that roof, and acts with a meanness and
littleness that are unworthy of any girl, especially one who calls
herself a Christian. In the spirit of revenge, and with a desire
to ‘serve out’ her employers, she will call to mind all the little
domestic matters which she knows they would least like to have gossiped
about, and will prove equally false to them, and to the pleadings of
her own heart and conscience.
When the fit of temper is over, probably the girl sees the ugliness
and treachery of her conduct, and would fain stop the ball she has set
rolling. But this is not easy. It continues to roll, and increases with
every turn. She has done an amount of mischief which she can scarcely
calculate, has broken faith, destroyed the effect produced by years of
faithful service, and is branded as deceitful and ungrateful by the
mistress who may have reproved with sharpness, yet who heartily wishes
well to her young helpers in the household.
I will not dwell upon this picture. I do not like it, and I hope that
every girl who reads this paper will think it as ugly as I do, and
resolve that it shall never be reflected in her own conduct.
I have a few more words to say both about entering on situations and
engaging servants. Indeed, these chapters relate equally to employers
and employed; for while I commenced by addressing myself especially to
those who serve, I cannot write of them without including those who
rule, and more especially the young mistresses. These have frequently
nearly everything to learn when they assume the reins of domestic
government at the commencement of their married life.
To the mistress I would say, ‘Try to ascertain something not only about
the girl you think of engaging, but about her parents, her home, and
general surroundings.’
I one day heard a gentleman speak of the manner in which he engaged a
very young girl to fill a vacancy caused by the marriage of an old and
much-valued servant. He lived at a distance from town, and had a very
delicate wife, who was unequal to the task of seeing and choosing from
amongst the many candidates for the vacant post.
The place was known to be a good one. The home was delightful in
itself, the habits of the family were regular, wages satisfactory, the
servants enjoyed many Christian privileges, and master and mistress
took a warm interest in their welfare. There was rarely a vacancy, and
on this particular occasion there were many very experienced servants
amongst the applicants. Yet the gentleman who saw them at his office
in the city, and made all the inquiries, finally decided on engaging a
girl of eighteen to fill the place of one who had been more than half
that number of years in the situation.
Much surprise was expressed at his decision, but he was quite able to
justify it.
‘I was struck,’ said he, ‘with the beautiful neatness of the girl’s
dress. I was sure that she was not got up for the occasion; but all
about her was suggestive of habitual purity and tidiness, and her
clothing, though good and clean, bore traces of careful wear. It
had evidently been used for some time, but well used. I was further
struck with her modesty of manners and propriety of speech. She told
me frankly that she had no one but her mother to refer me to for
her character, as regarded the work itself. She was the eldest of a
family, and had never been in service; but the second girl would now
be able to take her place, and there were too many of them for all to
be maintained at home by the father’s earnings. She knew things would
be very different in such a house as mine; but mother had always made
her do her work well, and she was willing to learn. Would I try her
and give her wages according to what she was worth? Father and mother
were much more particular about the family she went into than about
the money. Would I see “mother” before I fixed on any one, and her own
Sunday-school teacher too?
‘I could not help thinking, whilst the girl spoke--pleaded indeed, in
her honest, innocent way, for a trial--that she had in her the making
of a first-class servant. I agreed to see “mother,” but fixed no time
for my call, and I made it during the morning.
‘The sight of that orderly home and its busy occupants was better than
any number of written characters. There was no running away to make
herself presentable, but the girl came forward with a smiling face,
and looking just as neat in her working dress as she had done in her
outdoor garments.
‘I had made some inquiries about the family, and found that the parents
were God-fearing people, and extremely particular about the training
and associates of their children. So I engaged Eliza, aged eighteen, to
fill the place of the departed Anne, aged thirty; and I and mine had
cause to be thankful for the decision which brought into our house an
excellent servant, a warm-hearted, pure-minded girl. She was thorough
in her work, and what she did not know at first she was quick to learn,
because her heart was in it, and she honestly desired not only to do
enough to satisfy, but her very best.
‘The mother made one remark which amused me a little at the time. “I am
so glad you are willing to engage Eliza,” she said. “I am quite content
for her to come to you, for I made most particular inquiries about your
place before I sent the girl to see about it.”
‘The good woman meant it as a compliment, and I understood and
appreciated it. I like “my place” to have a good name; but some lady
friends tossed their heads, and said, “What an impertinent speech! to
intimate that she had inquired into your character!”’
And very proper too. Every girl that values her own character should be
anxious to serve under the roof of a master and mistress who fear God,
and who, caring for their own immortal souls, are likely to care for
the bodies and souls of all around them also.
I had two sisters from one family, and when, after seven years’ united
service, the second left by her father’s wish to learn a business, I
wrote and asked for the only remaining daughter, a girl who had never
left home to take a situation, and whom I had never seen. I frankly
told the parents that, after my experience of their mode of training
daughters, I would rather take one who had thus been brought up in the
faith and fear of God, though comparatively ignorant, than the most
accomplished servant without such home-training.
I received a grateful reply, accepting the offer and returning hearty
thanks for the comforts and Christian privileges enjoyed by the elder
sisters whilst under our roof.
Number three duly arrived, and--well, perhaps if I say that she came
more than fourteen years ago, and is here yet, nothing more need be
added. To the act that we have considered Christian training as of
greater importance than mere skill in household duties, my husband and
I attribute much of the comfort and happiness we have enjoyed in regard
to those domestic arrangements that depend upon our servants’ work and
character.
To you, dear girls, I would say, ‘Be more anxious to serve those who
themselves serve the Lord Christ,’ and will allow you the religious
privileges of which they know the value, than to obtain a situation
where a mistress is indulgent because indifferent, or for the sake of
easy work or high wages.
In seeking employers, determine to put your Heavenly Master’s service
first of all. If you serve Him well, no fear that you will fail in
your duty to them. Remember that He said, ‘I am among you as He that
serveth;’ that He found His joy in doing the will of the Father, and
that He ‘who, being in the form of God,’ yet, for our sakes, ‘took upon
Him the form of a servant, humbled Himself, and became obedient unto
death.’