SERVANTS AND SERVICE.
[Illustration: THE GIRL’S OWN BOOKSHELF]
SERVANTS AND SERVICE.
BY
RUTH LAMB,
_Author of ‘Only a Girl Wife,’ ‘Girls’ Work and Workshops,’
‘One Little Vein of Dross,’ ‘Her Own Choice,’ etc., etc._
London:
THE RELIGIOUS TRACT SOCIETY,
56, PATERNOSTER ROW; 65, ST. PAUL’S CHURCHYARD;
AND 164, PICCADILLY.
BUTLER & TANNER,
THE SELWOOD PRINTING WORKS,
FROME, AND LONDON.
PREFACE.
Some years have elapsed since these chapters on ‘Servants and Service’
were first issued as a series in the _Girl’s Own Paper._ I have reason
to know, from many subsequent communications, that they have not been
written in vain, but have proved useful to, and been highly commended
alike by, mistresses and maids. Members of both classes have borne
testimony especially to the fairness with which a somewhat difficult
social question has been treated therein.
Whilst rejoicing over the good results which have already followed the
serial publication of these papers, I hope and pray that their re-issue
as a volume may greatly increase their usefulness.
I must not omit to mention that I am not the author of the appended
chapter, No. XI., on ‘The legal rights of employers and employed.’ It
contains most valuable information, but is contributed by a writer much
better informed on legal subjects than I can claim to be.
RUTH LAMB.
CONTENTS.
CHAP. PAGE
I. INTRODUCTORY 9
II. HONOURABLE SERVICE 20
III. ‘HAIR-SPLITTERS’ 32
IV. IN THE NURSERY 44
V. INFLUENCE OVER CHILDREN. BEAR AND FORBEAR 55
VI. THOROUGHNESS. ECONOMY OF TIME. CARE
OF PROPERTY. PUNCTUALITY 68
VII. ON FAULT-FINDING, GIVING NOTICE TO LEAVE,
AND GIVING CHARACTERS 81
VIII. DRESS. VISITORS. SYMPATHY IN CHRISTIAN
WORK 96
IX. FOLLOWERS AND FRIENDS. HELPS TO YOUNG
SERVANTS. GIFTS FROM VISITORS 108
X. THE ONE SOURCE OF STRENGTH 135
XI. THE LEGAL RIGHTS OF EMPLOYERS AND EMPLOYED 145
SERVANTS AND SERVICE.
CHAPTER I.
INTRODUCTORY.
A little while ago I was wandering from factory to factory, watching
girls at work amongst whirling spindles, clattering machinery, and
clinking hammers; wondering often that the young creatures were not
bewildered or permanently deafened by the ceaseless noise which
accompanied their hours of toil; wondering still more at the varied
articles produced by girl-hands, and at the way in which the comfort of
persons in every rank of life seems to depend upon, and be ministered
to, by what they do as outdoor workers.
The comfort of the world at large, of the great human family, is very
greatly influenced by the girl-toilers in these hives of industry. But
how much more is the happiness of all the separate families which go
to make up the vast total, influenced by the lives and conduct of those
who actually serve in the home itself, who fill the _honourable_ and
_responsible_ position of domestic servants.
You who thus serve will, perhaps, think that I use strong terms
respecting your work and the place you occupy. I mean to justify these
expressions, and to show you how truly important is that work, how high
is your position, when measured by the vast trust which employers are
compelled to repose in the girls whom they receive into their homes as
servants.
I have been the mistress of a house for a great many years, and yet,
considering that I have usually had four female servants at once, I
have not had a large number in the whole time. The reason is that very
few have left our home except to start in houses of their own, or from
some equally satisfactory cause, and usually after a long term of
service. Also, that when circumstances have rendered it necessary for
a servant to leave us, it has been the rule for the family and herself
to part with feelings of mutual regret and goodwill. It is always a
pleasure for us to welcome under our roof those who have served us
faithfully, and to hear of their well-being.
I have had only one thoroughly bad servant--but she was a
systematically bad woman, who would have wrought mischief in whatever
position of life she might have occupied. Ignorance of household
routine, and inexperience in the performance of certain duties, may
easily be corrected wherever a servant is able and willing to learn,
and a mistress to bestow time and pains in teaching her.
It makes me glad as I write to think that I both have had, and
still have, servants whom I regard as dear friends; who have proved
themselves sympathetic and self-devoting in various seasons of
sickness, and when extra labour and watching were needed; who have been
true helpers and comforters to all around them.
Some, too, have been associated with me in Christian work, and have
deemed themselves more than repaid for any additional labour which has
thus devolved upon them, by the happiness that accompanies the very act
of good-doing for Christ’s sake.
I think of such servants as these not only with pleasure, but with the
deepest thankfulness. With all my heart I desire to thank God for such
service, and for the sense of family comfort and safety which has been
one of its happy consequences in my own home.
I am sure every girl who occupies the position of a domestic servant
will agree with me, that it is a good thing when a mistress can kneel
down and thank Our Father in heaven, for the great family blessing He
has sent her in the shape of a faithful servant. Equally so when a
girl, coming a stranger into a new home, can thankfully feel that she
too is regarded, not as a human machine to be sent away as soon as she
breaks down, and, once out of sight, out of mind also; but as a member
of the family, to be cared for by the rest both in regard to health of
soul and body--and most of all by the mistress as ‘house-mother.’
I wonder whether servants and mistresses generally understand what the
word ‘family’ means. I have alluded to each servant as a member of the
family, but I know that people usually take a much narrower view of
its meaning, and think it should be confined strictly to those who are
united by the ties of kindred.
The word is used in several senses in our language, but the one which
takes the lead is as follows:--‘Family. The collective body of persons
who live in one house and under one head or manager of a household,
_including parents, children, and servants_.’
So you see, dear girls who serve in other homes than those of your
parents, you are none the less members of the family into which you
enter, though your actual place and work in it differ from those of the
parents and children. But if you claim to be of the family, you must
remember that the very privilege brings also responsibility.
It forbids the putting of self in the first rank, and binds you to
consider the well-being, convenience, and comfort of every member of
the household, at least equally with your own; to work and think for
the common good, _because you also are of the family_.
Notice how the Bible recognises this. Read through the Ten
Commandments, and see what individuals are named in those rules given
by God Himself, for the government of the human race. Here they are,
following each other: Father and mother, son and daughter, man-servant
and maid-servant.
Not many pictures of girl life are to be found in the pages of Holy
Writ. We catch glimpses now and then of Rebekah and Rachel and the
daughters of Jethro tending their flocks, and watering them from the
precious and jealously guarded wells. These show us something of their
occupations out of doors, of their readiness--ladies though they
were--to serve the stranger and wait on the weary traveller. But the
curtains of the tent are rarely lifted sufficiently to give us even a
peep at the girls within, whether young mistresses or waiting damsels,
when employed in household duties.
Ruth has a whole book given to her and her family. But we only see her
for the first time in her widowhood, and when she has been ten years a
wife. Esther has a still longer book, but in her story is involved the
fate of a nation of captives.
But there is a little picture given in another place, and I never read
it without thinking how delightful it must be to every young servant,
to look upon this word-sketch of the little captive maid who waited
upon Naaman’s wife.
It tells so much in so few words. It shows us the girl, far away from
her home and her kindred, a stranger in a strange land--yet full of
sympathy with her mistress, realizing that she is one of the family,
and anxious to do good to its afflicted and suffering head.
Putting away the memory of her own wrongs, she would fain direct her
master to him at whose word, she believed, the loathsome disease would
vanish and Naaman be made whole.
This little servant maid must have remembered her own home and friends,
because she could speak of the miracle-working prophet in her own land.
A revengeful girl would have rejoiced in her master’s affliction.
A selfish one would have made terms, and only told of the healer on
condition of being restored to her own friends.
This young servant girl did neither. She uttered a wish which was also
a prayer on behalf of him who held her captive: ‘Would God my lord were
with the prophet that is in Samaria! for he would recover him of his
leprosy.’
Though she was in such a humble position, she had gained a character
for truth. Her mistress durst speak after her! A king durst write a
letter, send an embassy, and despatch an offering of enormous value, in
sole reliance on the word of the little foreign servant.
Her master, a great and powerful general, the mighty man of valour, and
conqueror in many a battle, set out on a journey with a heart full of
hope, because he could believe the wish she had uttered was sincere,
and that she was convinced of the prophet’s power and will to heal him.
Only a story contained in three verses of the Bible, but how much
it tells! What a beautiful character it reveals! A young servant
girl, truthful and trusted; forgiving and doing good to her captors;
realizing that she was one of that family in which she served;
forgetting self in her sympathy with suffering; repaying the kindness
and confidence of her mistress, not merely by faithful service, but by
heartiest goodwill.
Ah! you who serve in the homes of others, well may you rejoice to
think that one in a like position is the heroine of this delightful
Bible story. May you in reading it take home all its sweet lessons,
and in your own narrower circle, and perhaps a far humbler household,
imitate the example, and reproduce the disposition shown by the little
Israelitish maiden when a captive in a strange land.
* * * * *
Probably many a young, ay, and old woman too, looks back upon her
girlish days in service, and recalls the period she spent under one
particular roof as a turning-point in her life for good or evil. If the
former, she will lift up her heart in thanksgiving as memories of wise,
loving counsel and patient teaching come before her mind’s eye.
Some, perhaps, are still in situations, and regularly and habitually
doing their daily work as if the eye of the mistress was always
present. Each thinks of one who, in bygone days, was the means of
making her the valuable servant she is, by dint of much careful
training and painstaking when she went, a mere girl and very
ignorant, to her first place. She knows that the seeds sown by that
hand have brought forth in herself the fruits of regularity, order,
neatness, cleanliness, and punctuality; and that truth and honesty,
if not planted, were fostered and encouraged by that true friend and
experienced mistress.
Perhaps she remembers, too, that in those early days the patient
teacher did not always find a patient scholar; that the lessons which
were given for her good were often little valued--sometimes even
resented as the acts of a fidgety, worriting, too-particular mistress
whom nothing could satisfy.
She knows better now, and rejoices that she fell into hands equally
firm and kind. But the memory of her own little tempers and impatience
under training makes her, let us hope, more patient and forbearing with
other young girls who are in turn placed under her, to be similarly
instructed.
I fancy I hear a chorus of young voices cry out, ‘It is all very well
for you to say we should be particular about the places we take, but we
cannot always choose from a number. Often our very bread depends on our
getting a situation. If we are unable to get what we want, we must take
what we can get.’
Quite true. Yet it is not often that a girl who is worth having has to
leave a situation at less than a month’s notice, so that she has always
some time to look about her and make inquiries.
Shall I tell you my recipe for getting a good servant? It will be just
as useful to you in securing a good place. _It is prayer_, as well as
the use of ordinary means. Whenever a servant has been about to leave
us, it has been the custom for my husband and myself to kneel together
and ask God to guide us in the choice of a successor. We felt that
the peace of our home, the well-being of our family, and perhaps even
more than all, that an important influence on the minds and manners
of our little ones would depend upon the new-comer. Was it not, then,
worth while to ask God’s guidance and blessing? If good for master and
mistress, surely it must be equally so for the girl who seeks work and
a home amongst strangers.
Do not take a place where you cannot have Sunday privileges. A widowed
mother, herself in service, applied for a situation for her young
daughter. She returned disappointed in one sense, but not in another.
‘Jane could have had the place, and good wages; but when I named the
going to church on Sundays, the lady said Sunday was always her day
for company, and she could spare none of her servants to go out. She
would give her another day instead. I told her this would not suit
my girl,’ said the poor mother, who had much cause for anxiety about
employment for her child. ‘I had all my life tried to train her in the
faith and fear of God, and specially taught her to value and remember
to keep holy the Sabbath day. I dare not go against my own teaching and
conscience, come what may. I must trust; the Lord will provide.’
And He did provide. The mother’s prayers were not in vain; her faith
was not disappointed. Pray, then, for guidance, dear girls. You will
not ask in vain; but I believe you will be answered by having good
homes and good mistresses, as my husband and I have been, in having
good servants sent to us from time to time.