‘HAIR-SPLITTERS.’
I have alluded to the fact that the word ‘family’ includes the servants
of a household; but I am inclined to think that they are more slow to
realize their position as such than even their employers are.
When inquiring about the work pertaining to a situation, they are often
so very particular to have the duties of the place defined with the
utmost exactness. ‘Shall I be expected to do this?’ or, ‘In my last
place, I was never asked to do that;’ ‘I like to know what my work is
to be, and then I’ve no doubt I shall do it to the satisfaction of all
parties,’ are expressions common enough when mistress and maid are
arranging terms.
It is no doubt advisable so to plan the work of a house that each
servant, where there are two or more, may know what is her share,
and do it. The wheels of the domestic chariot would soon stick fast,
and confusion reign instead of order, if things were left to arrange
themselves.
There is, however, a vast difference between taking and doing the work
allotted to us in a narrow, selfish spirit, or with the large-hearted
kindness which should distinguish the servants of Christ. In the
one case there is a continual hair-splitting going on, and when the
smallest service which was not actually bargained for is required, we
hear that hateful expression, ‘_It’s not my place._’ ‘I came here to be
housemaid--not to do cook’s work.’ Or, ‘If you had mentioned that, when
Sarah has her day out, you would expect me to look after the children,
I should have known what to do,’ is said to the mistress in an injured
tone, or, worse still, _at her_, as the damsel goes grumbling about the
house.
These ‘hair-splitting servants,’ as I cannot help calling them, who
are always stickling for ‘rights’ and going more than half-way to meet
wrongs and grievances, know nothing of the true family feeling, and
are equally unpleasant people for mistresses and fellow-servants to
deal with. The former are wearied with perpetual complaints--the latter
are often rendered so uncomfortable by the nagging, exacting, and
self-asserting spirit of the individual who is always on the bristle
in defence of her _place_ and her _right_, that they will leave a good
home rather than endure her companionship.
I will try to make my meaning plainer still.
The ‘hair-splitter’ has perhaps been called into the sitting-room to
speak to her mistress. She leaves it again whilst the parlour-maid is
clearing the table. She _could_ save the latter a journey by carrying
out one or two of the heavier articles, and would cause herself no
extra trouble by so doing. But, ‘No thank you,’ our ‘hair-splitter’
knows her place. Let the waitress mind her own business--she will not
be asked to do any part of hers. And so she marches out of the room
empty-handed, and is satisfied that in so doing she is keeping her
place.
Perhaps some one in the house is an invalid, and requires to be waited
on in her own apartment. All who know anything of sick-nursing can tell
how many journeys up and down stairs are necessarily made, how many
weary steps must be taken by those who minister to a sufferer’s comfort.
Usually, I believe, the servants are found willing to take a full
share of the extra work entailed by illness, and manifest their
sympathy in the most practical way, by doing it ungrudgingly and
uncomplainingly. Often they will voluntarily give up all the little
privileges so precious to those whose work lies wholly indoors,
and ‘stay in when it is their turn to go out,’ rather than cause
inconvenience--all but the ‘hair-splitter.’ She has bargained for
certain things, and she will have them. She never came to be a
sick-nurse, but to do regular work in her own place. She will go up and
down stairs with empty hands, though it would be no effort for her to
carry up the box of coal which she knows to be wanted, or to bring down
little articles which the attendant in the sick-room has put outside on
the landing, until she can leave the invalid for a few minutes to carry
them down herself.
Our ‘hair-splitter’ disdains to lend a hand outside her own circle,
and, let who may give up the day out, she will exact hers and
every other privilege that she can claim, no matter who may suffer
inconvenience.
‘I keep to my bargain; let other people keep to theirs. I do my work
that I engaged for; that is enough for me. I keep my place; let the
rest keep theirs,’ says the ‘hair-splitter;’ and she holds up her
head, and defies anybody to say a word to the contrary.
Perhaps she speaks the literal truth, and she may be a thorough servant
in her own department; but she is only a hireling, and has no part or
lot in or with the family in that higher sense to which I have alluded.
And, oh! how little does such a one realize the yet deeper, holier
union and sympathy which must subsist between those who are members of
the family of God, who, like the Divine Head, Christ Jesus, find it
their joy to help the helpless, comfort the sorrowing, to strive, in
ever so humble a way, to bear one another’s burdens, and so to fulfil
the law of Christ.
If a member of the family, she will ‘rejoice with those who do rejoice,
and weep with those who weep.’
There will be no ‘hair-splitting,’ no talk about rights; but the
true-hearted servant, who in all her dealings with earthly employers
acknowledges her Divine Master, will above all things strive to follow
His example. It will not be a question, ‘How little can I do?’ but,
‘How can I best contribute to the happiness of each and all under the
roof? How can I lighten the load of, or make the work easier for, my
fellow-servant?’
In numberless ways the willing mind and kindly heart will find that
this can be done without any additional effort or weariness to the
thoughtful helper. But even if it do cost an extra effort or a few more
steps to save still more of both to a tired fellow-servant, never mind.
They will be well bestowed. And if done for the Heavenly Master’s sake,
the reward will come in the present happiness which a consciousness of
doing right always brings with it. Those who practise self-devoting
kindness in their intercourse with others experience a joy unknown to
the ‘hair-splitter,’ who triumphs in having successfully claimed her
‘rights’ and in keeping her place.
Now for a few words on the subject of good manners.
I have said that a servant may be as truly a gentlewoman in manners as
the mistress she serves; but in order to merit the name, she must never
forget the respect and obedience she owes to those who employ her. The
‘I’m-as-good-as-you’ sort of spirit is always a mark of--I was going
to say--a vulgar mind. I will take higher ground. It is unworthy of
the disciple of Him who said, ‘Learn of Me, for I am meek and lowly in
heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.’
The injunctions in God’s Word with regard to the manners and conduct
of servants towards their employers are particularly plain and
unmistakable. Fidelity, honesty, hearty service, and obedience are
enjoined again and again. Equally so good manners, though not in these
exact words.
It is no doubt very trying for a grown-up girl or woman to be reproved
in sharp, unmeasured terms, and more especially in the presence
of others. But if (by God’s grace) she is enabled to conquer the
inclination to reply rudely and to give, instead, the soft answer which
turns away wrath, even when she feels that she has been unreasonably
dwelt with, she gains a double conquest. She vanquishes the rising of
sinful passion, preserves her own self-respect, and probably wins the
goodwill of her mistress also, besides knowing that she has remembered
the Divine rule: ‘Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear;
not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward. If, when ye
do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable
with God.’
You see, then, dear girls, that you are not to forget, even under
difficult and trying circumstances, the respect due from those who
serve to those who rule in the house. The tossing of the head, the
heavy or bouncing step, the loud or pert answer, the slamming of
doors, the throwing things violently down, and the going grumbling
about the house, saying things _at_ the mistress which you would be
afraid or ashamed to say _to_ her, are all marks of vulgarity and
little-mindedness, which every girl who has any self-respect will
avoid. And, whilst rather calculated to inspire contempt for the
childishness of those who act in this unreasoning, foolish fashion,
than to produce any effect on those whom they are intended to annoy,
they are also utterly unworthy of every girl or woman who professes to
be a servant of Christ.
The commands, ‘Be kind, be pitiful, be courteous,’ were not meant for
mistresses only, or for the rich and those who fill high places in
this world, but for people of all ages and of every position. It is
not the possession of riches, which perhaps those who own them have
done nothing to win; or the bearing of an old name, ennobled by the
grand lives of those who bore it in bygone ages; not the high position
occupied in this world, or even all three combined, which can entitle
any human being to the name of gentleman or gentlewoman.
Thank God! those who occupy the humblest positions can _merit_ the
names, though they may not claim them. If, in fulfilling our various
duties, we yield ourselves to the guidance and teaching of God’s Holy
Spirit, and strive by our lives to adorn the doctrine of God our
Saviour in all things, living soberly, righteously, and godly, showing
ourselves kind, forbearing, tender-hearted, forgiving, observing the
golden rule, spreading as much happiness and saving as much pain as we
can, we shall reap a glorious harvest of peace within and goodwill from
all around us.
Believe me, dear girls, none so well deserve the names of gentleman and
gentlewoman as do those whose lives best reflect that of their great
pattern, Christ Jesus. And better by far than all the other books in
the world is the Bible itself for teaching good manners.
Before concluding this chapter, I will briefly suggest a few of the
_advantages of domestic service_. Some girls think that the privileges
are all on the side of the outdoor workers, that the mill-hand,
machinist, the dressmaker, and the young shopwoman have an amount of
freedom from personal restraint which those in service cannot enjoy.
Let us look more closely into this, as also into the matter of wages.
Really the outdoor worker has in many cases less time at her disposal
than the domestic servant, and her average gains are less also. A
servant with good health and character need never be unemployed, as
the demand for such is generally in excess of the supply. She has no
slack times, like nearly all other workers, employment and wages being
regular the year round in her case.
Her situation is not affected by a sudden change of fashion, which
will often throw nearly all the workers in a particular branch out of
situations, and compel them to learn some new business by which they
may earn their bread.
The domestic servant has in many cases the advantage of living in a
far more comfortable home, and of being better fed and cared for. She
has less anxiety about ways and means than the outdoor worker. For the
latter a slack time indicates the loss of wages, perhaps for weeks
together; and unless girls have been very prudent and careful, it means
also a season of privation to themselves, if they cannot turn their
hands to something else in the meanwhile.
The wages may seem less. Are they really so?
Supposing an outdoor worker has sixteen shillings a week, and this is
a very high average, and that she does not lose a day’s pay in twelve
months, she is certainly no better off than the domestic servant with
six shillings. Out of the sixteen the outdoor worker has to pay for
lodgings, food, and fire. Could she for ten shillings a week live in
the same comfort as does a domestic servant in a well-ordered home?
Then the latter has no coming through the streets unprotected, and
in all weathers; and, in the quiet round of household duties, she
is exposed to far fewer temptations than the outdoor worker. (The
exceptions are in the cases of girls who live under their parents’
roof, and are cared for by a watchful, loving, and judicious mother.)
Moreover, the employment of the domestic servant is not nearly so
monotonous as that of the factory hand, or so wearying as that of the
young shopwoman who stands behind the counter for many hours at a
time. She has less anxiety than even those under whose roof she lives,
knowing nothing of consultations about making ends meet, or of fears
when quarter-day comes round.
* * * * *
Lastly, the domestic servant is not the ‘hand’ of whom often the
employer knows less than he does of the machine she tends, but one who
is in constant communication with father, mother, and children under
the roof--in short, as I have already asserted, she is one of the
family, and necessarily trusted as such.
I may add that the law affords the latter very special protection in
the matter of wages, domestic servants being paid in full when other
creditors often have to accept only a portion of what is due to them,
or what is called a composition.