laughing all the while; but to comfort thee, and make thee amends for all
thy troubles, I call Heaven to witness, I am ready and willing to make
thee what reparation thou pleasest to ask. After these words, he came out
of the closet into the hall, and ordered one of his most magnificent
habits to be brought, and commanded the ladies to dress Abon Hassan in
it; and when they had done so, he said, embracing him, Thou art my
brother; ask what thou wilt, and thou shalt have it.
Commander of the Faithful, replied Abon Hassan, I beg of your majesty to
do me the favour to tell me what you did to disturb my brain in that
manner, and what was your design; for that is a thing of the greatest
importance for me to know, that I may perfectly recover my senses.
The caliph promised to give him that satisfaction, and said, First you
ought to know, that I often disguise myself, and particularly at night,
to observe what irregularities are committed in Bagdad; besides, I set
apart the first day of every month to make a tour about it, sometimes on
one side and sometimes on another, but always return by the bridge. That
evening that you invited me to supper, I had been taking my rounds; and
in our discourse you told me, that the only thing you wished for was to
be caliph for four and twenty hours, to punish the iman of your mosque
and his four counsellors. I fancied that this desire of thine would
afford me a great deal of diversion, and thought immediately how I might
procure thee that satisfaction. I had about me a certain powder, which
throws immediately the person that takes it into a sound sleep for such a
time. I put a dose of it, without being perceived by thee, into the last
glass I presented to thee; upon which you fell fast asleep, and I ordered
my slave to carry you to my palace, and came away without shutting the
door. I have no occasion to repeat what happened at my palace when you
waked: but after you had been regaled all day, one of the slaves, by my
order, put another dose of the same powder at night into a glass she gave
you; you fell asleep as before, and the same slave carried you home, and
left the door open. You told me all that happened to you afterwards. I
never imagined that you could have suffered so much as you have done. But
as I have a great regard for you, I will make you amends; and that you
may have no cause to remember your ill treatment, think of what would
please you, and ask me boldly for it.
Commander of the Faithful, replied Abon Hassan, how great soever my
tortures may have been, they were all blotted out of my remembrance, as
soon as I understood my sovereign lord had any share in them, and doubt
not in the least of your majesty’s bounty; but as interest had never any
sway over me, and I have the liberty to ask a favour, I beg that it may
be that of having access to your person, to have the happiness of
admiring, all my life-time, your grandeur.
This last proof of Abon Hassan’s generosity completed the esteem the
caliph had entertained for him. I am mightily pleased with thy request,
said the caliph, and grant thee free access to my person at all times and
all hours. In short, he assigned him an apartment in the palace; and, in
regard to his pension, told him, that he would not have him to have any
thing to do with his treasurer, but to come always to him for an order
upon him. Abon Hassan made a low bow, and the caliph left him to go to
council.
Abon Hassan made use of this time to go and inform his mother of his good
fortune, and what had happened, which, he told her, was not a dream; for
that he had actually been caliph, and had acted as such, and received all
the honours; and that she had no reason to doubt of it, since he had it
confirmed, by the caliph himself.
It was not long before this new story of Abon Hassan was spread all about
Bagdad, and was carried into all the provinces both far and near, and not
one single circumstance scarce omitted.
The new favourite Abon Hassan was always with the caliph; for as he was a
man of a pleasant temper, and created mirth by all his words and actions,
the caliph could not live without him, and often carried him along with
him to see his spouse Zobeide, to whom he told his story, and who was
mightily pleased with him, and observed that every time he came with the
caliph he had his eyes always fixed upon one of her slaves, called
Nouz-hatoul-aonadat, (which is to say, Renewed Pleasure,) and resolved to
tell the caliph of it. Commander of the Faithful, said that princess one
day, you do not observe so well as I, that every time Abon Hassan attends
you in your visits to me, he never keeps his eyes off
Nouz-hatoul-aonadat, and makes her blush, which is almost a certain sign
that she entertains no aversion for him. If you approve of it, we will
make a match between them.
Madam, replied the caliph, you put me in mind of a thing which I ought to
have done before now. I know Abon Hassan’s taste of marriage from
himself, and have always promised him a wife that should please him. I am
glad you mentioned it, for I know not how I came to forget it. But it is
better that Abon Hassan has followed his own inclination, and chose for
himself; and if Nouz-hatoul-aonadat is not averse to it, we ought not to
hesitate upon their marriage; and since they are both present, let them
declare that they give consent.
Abon Hassan threw himself at the caliph’s and Zobeide’s feet, to show the
sense he had of their bounty; and, rising up, said, I cannot receive a
wife from better hands, but dare not hope that Nouz-hatoul-aonadat will
give me hers. After these words, he looked upon the princess’s slave, who
showed, by her respectful silence, and the sudden blush that rose in her
cheeks, that she was disposed to obey the caliph and her mistress
Zobeide.
The marriage was solemnized, and the nuptials celebrated in the palace,
with great rejoicings, which lasted several days. Zobeide, in respect to
the caliph, made her slave considerable presents, and the caliph did the
same to Abon Hassan. The bride was conducted to the apartment the caliph
had assigned Abon Hassan, who waited for her with all the impatience of a
bridegroom, and received her with the sounding of trumpets and all sorts
of instruments, which played in concert, and made the air echo again
their sweet and harmonious notes.
After these feasts and rejoicings, which lasted several days, the
new-married couple were left to pursue their loves peaceably. Abon Hassan
and his spouse were charmed with each other, and lived together in
perfect union, and seldom were asunder, but when either he paid his
respects to the caliph, or she to Zobeide. Indeed Nouz-hatoul-aonadat was
endued with all the qualifications capable of gaining Abon Hassan’s love
and attachment, and was just such a wife as he desired; therefore they
could want nothing to render their lives agreeable. They always ate the
nicest and choicest rarities in season, and had the best meats tossed up
in fricasees and ragouts, &c. by an excellent cook, who took upon him to
provide every thing. Their beaufet was always stored with exquisite
wines. At dinner they enjoyed themselves in this manner, and afterwards
entertained each other with some pleasantry or other: and in the
evenings, which they consecrated to mirth, they had generally some slight
repast of dried sweetmeats, choice fruits, and other light meats, and
invited each other by songs and catches to drink, and sometimes played to
their voices on a lute, or other instruments which they could touch.
Abon Hassan and Nouz-hatoul-aonadat lived a long time in this manner,
when the caterer, who disbursed the money for these expenses, put them in
mind that he had gone his length, and parted with all his money; which
they found, but too late, to be so considerable a sum, that all the
presents that the caliph and the princess Zobeide had given them at their
marriage, were but just enough to pay him. This made them reflect on what
was past, and which at that time they could not remedy. However, they
agreed to pay the cook; and sent for him, and paid him all they owed him,
without showing the least trouble.
The caterer went away very well pleased to receive so large a sum of
money, though Abon Hassan and his wife were not so over-well satisfied
with seeing the bottom of their purse, but remained a long time silent
and very much embarrassed, to find themselves reduced to that condition
the first year of their marriage. Abon Hassan remembered very well that
the caliph, when he took him into the palace, promised never to let him
want any thing. But when he considered how prodigal he had been of his
money in so short a time, he was unwilling to expose himself to the shame
of telling the caliph the ill use he had made of what he had given him,
and that he wanted more. Besides, he had made over his patrimony to his
mother, as soon as the caliph had received him nigh his person; and was
afraid to go to her, lest she should find that he had returned to the
same extravagance he had been guilty of after his father’s death. His
wife, on the other hand, looked upon Zobeide’s generosity, and the
liberty she had given her to marry, as more than a sufficient recompense
for her service, and thought she could not ask any more.
Abon Hassan at last broke silence, and looking upon his wife, said, I see
you are in the same embarrassment as myself, and am thinking what we must
do in this unhappy juncture. I do not know what your sentiments may be;
but mine are, let what will happen, not to retrench our expenses in the
least; and, I believe you will come into my opinion: the point is, how to
support them without asking the caliph or Zobeide; and I fancy I have
thought on the means: but we must both assist each other.
This discourse of Abon Hassan’s very much pleased his wife, and gave her
great hopes. I was thinking so as well as you, said she; but durst not
explain my thoughts, because I did not know how to help ourselves; and
must confess, that what you tell me gives me a great deal of pleasure.
But since you say you have found out a way, and my assistance is
necessary, you need but to tell me, and I will do all that lies in my
power.
I believe, replied Abon Hassan, that you will not fail in this affair,
which concerns us both; and therefore I must tell you this want of money
has made me think of a trick we will put upon the caliph and Zobeide, and
at which, I am sure, they will both be pleased, and be diverted with the
cheat; which is, you and I will both die. Not I indeed, interrupted
Nouz-hatoul-aonadat; you may die by yourself, if you will. I am not so
weary of this life; and whether you are pleased or not, will not die so
soon. If you have nothing else to propose than that, you may do it by
yourself; for I shall not meddle with it.
You are so quick and hasty, replied Abon Hassan, that you will not give
me time to explain my meaning: have but a little patience, and you shall
find that you will be ready enough; for sure you did not think I meant a
real death. Well, said his wife, if it is but sham death you design, I am
at your service, and you may depend on my zeal: but I must tell you
truly, I am very unwilling to die as I apprehended you meant at first.
Be but easy a little, said Abon Hassan, and I will tell you what I
propose. I will feign myself dead, and you shall lay me out on a white
sheet, in the middle of my chamber, with my feet towards Mecca, and my
turban upon my face, just ready to be buried. When you have done so, you
must cry and take on, as is usual in such cases, and tear your clothes,
and with your hair loose about your ears, go to Zobeide. The princess
will ask you the cause of your grief; and when you have told her, with
words intermixed with sighs, she will pity you, and give you some money
to defray the expense of my funeral, and a piece of gold brocade, to
cover my body with, that my interment may be the more magnificent, and to
make you a habit in the room of that you had torn; and as soon as you
return with the money and the brocade, I will get up and lay you in my
place, and go and act the same part with the caliph as you have done with
Zobeide; and I dare say the caliph will be as generous to me as Zobeide
will be to you.
Nouz-hatoul-aonadat liked this project very well, and said to Abon
Hassan, Come, lose no time; strip to your shirt and breeches, while I
prepare a sheet. Abon Hassan did as his wife bade him, and laid himself
all along on his back, with his feet towards Mecca, on the sheet which
his wife spread on the carpet, just in the middle of the room. As soon as
he had crossed his arms, his wife wrapped him up, and put a fine piece of
muslin and his turban upon his face. After this, she pulled her hair over
her face, and with a dismal crying and lamentation, ran across the court
of Zobeide’s apartment; who, hearing the voice of a person crying very
loud, commanded some of her women to see who it was, who returned, and
told her that it was Nouz-hatoul-aonadat, who was coming in a deplorable
condition.
The princess, impatient to know what had happened to her, rose up
immediately, and went to meet her at the door of the antechamber.
Nouz-hatoul-aonadat played her part excellently well. As soon as she saw
Zobeide, she redoubled her cries, tore her hair off by handfuls, beat her
face and breast, and threw herself at her feet, bathing them with her
tears.
Zobeide, amazed to see her slave in so extraordinary an affliction, asked
her, what misfortune had happened to her. But, instead of answering, she
continued sighing and sobbing; and at last, feigning to strive to check
herself, said, with words intermixed with sighs, Alas! my most honoured
lady and mistress, what greater misfortune could have befallen me than
this, which obliges me to throw myself at your highness’s feet? May God
prolong your days, my most respectable princess, in perfect health, and
grant you many happy years. Abon Hassan! poor Abon Hassan! whom you
honoured with your esteem, and gave me for a husband, is no more!
Then Nouz-hatoul-aonadat redoubled her tears and sighs, and threw herself
again at the princess’s feet. Zobeide was extremely surprised at this
news. Abon Hassan dead! cried she, that agreeable pleasant man! indeed I
did not in the least expect his death so soon; he seemed to promise a
long life, and well deserved one. Then she burst out also into tears, as
did all her women, who had been often witnesses of Abon Hassan’s
pleasantries, when the caliph brought him to see the princess Zobeide,
and continued a long time bewailing the loss of him. At last Zobeide
broke silence, and ordered one of her slaves to go to her treasure, and
fetch a hundred pieces of gold, and a piece of rich brocade.
The slave returned soon with a purse and piece of brocade, which, by
Zobeide’s order, she put into Nouz-hatoul-aonadat’s hand; who threw
herself again at the princess’s feet, and thanked her with a great deal
of satisfaction, to think she had succeeded so well. Go, said Zobeide,
make use of that brocade to cover the corpse of thy husband, and with
that money bury him handsomely, and as he ought to be. Moderate the
transports of thy affliction: I will take care of thee.
As soon as Nouz-hatoul-aonadat got out of the princess’s presence, she
dried up her tears, and returned with joy to Abon Hassan, to give him an
account of her good success. When she came into her own apartment, and
saw her husband still stretched out in the middle of the floor, she ran
to him laughing, and bade him rise, and see the fruits of his project.
Upon which he arose, and rejoiced with his wife at the sight of the purse
and brocade, who, for her part, could, not contain herself. Come,
husband, said she laughing, let me act the dead part, and see if you can
manage the caliph as well as I have done Zobeide.
This is the temper of all women, replied Abon Hassan, who, we may well
say, have always the vanity to believe they can do things better than
men, though, at the same time, what they do is by their advice. It would
be odd indeed, if I, who laid this plot myself, could not carry it on
likewise. But let us lose no time in idle discourse: lie down in my
place, and see if I do not come off with as much applause.
Abon Hassan wrapped up his wife as she had done him; and with his turban
undone, and set awry on his head, and like a man in the greatest
affliction imaginable, he ran to the caliph, who was holding a private
council with the grand vizier Giafar and some other viziers, and he
having free access wheresoever he was, went with his handkerchief before
his eyes, to hide the feigned tears which trickled down his cheeks, and
striking his breast with the other, expressed an extraordinary grief.
The caliph, who was ever used to see Abon Hassan gay and merry, was very
much surprised to behold him in that sorrowful state, and asked him the
cause of his grief. Commander of the Faithful, answered Abon Hassan, with
repeated sighings and sobbings, may God preserve your majesty on the
throne, which you fill so gloriously! Alas! Nouz-hatoul-aonadat, whom you
in your bounty gave me for a wife, is ——. At this exclamation, Abon
Hassan pretended to have his heart so full that he could not utter one
syllable more, but poured forth a flood of tears.
The caliph, who presently understood that Abon Hassan came to tell him of
the death of his wife, seemed very much concerned, and said to him, God
comfort thee; she was a good slave, and we gave her to thee with an
intention to make thee happy: she deserved a longer life. Then the tears
ran down his face, so that he was obliged to pull out his handkerchief to
wipe them off. In short, Abon Hassan dissembled so well, that the caliph,
who did not in the least doubt of his sincerity, ordered his treasurer,
who was then present, to give Abon Hassan a purse of a hundred pieces of
gold, and a piece of brocade. Abon Hassan immediately cast himself at the
caliph’s feet, and thanked him for his present. Follow the treasurer,
said that monarch; throw the brocade over the corpse, and with the money
show the last testimony of thy love for thy wife.
Abon Hassan made no reply to these obliging words of the caliph, but
retired with a low bow, and followed the treasurer; and as soon as he had
got the purse and piece of brocade, went home, very well pleased with
having found out so quick and ready a way of supplying his necessity,
which had given him some trouble.
Nouz-hatoul-aonadat, weary with lying so long in that posture, never
waited till Abon Hassan bade her rise; but as soon as she heard the door
open, got up and ran to her husband, and asked him if he had cheated the
caliph as well as she did Zobeide? You see, said he, showing her the
stuff, and shaking the purse, that I can act a sorrowful husband as well
as you can an afflicted wife. But for fear this trick of theirs should be
attended with some ill consequences, he thought it would not be amiss to
instruct his wife with what might happen, that they might act in concert.
For, added he, the better we succeed in embarrassing the caliph and
Zobeide, the more they will be pleased at last, and perhaps may show
their satisfaction by a greater liberality. And this last consideration
induced them to carry on this scene further.
The caliph, though he had a great deal of business to transact in
council, was nevertheless so impatient to go and condole with the
princess upon the death of her slave, that he rose up as soon as Abon
Hassan was gone, and put off the council to another day. Follow me, said
he to Mesrour, who always attended him wherever he went, and let us go
and share with the princess the grief which the death of her slave
Nouz-hatoul-aonadat causes her.
Accordingly, they went to Zobeide’s apartment, whom the caliph found
seated on a sofa, very much afflicted, and all in tears. Madam, said the
caliph, going up to her, it is necessary to tell you how much I partake
with you in your affliction; since you are not insensible that what gives
you pleasure or trouble, has the same effect on me. But we are all
mortals, and must surrender up to God that life he gives us, when he
requires it. Nouz-hatoul-aonadat, your faithful slave, was endued with
qualifications that deserved all your esteem, and I do not disapprove
your expressing it after her death; but consider, all your grief will not
bring her to life again. Therefore, madam, if you love me, and would take
my advice, be comforted for this loss, and take care of a life which you
know is precious to me.
If the princess was charmed with these tender sentiments which the caliph
expressed in his compliments, she was much more amazed to hear of
Nouz-hatoul-aonadat’s death. This news put her into so great a surprise,
that she was not able to return an answer for some time. At last,
recovering, she said, Commander of the Faithful, I am very sensible of
all your tender sentiments; but cannot comprehend the news you tell me of
the death of my slave, who is in perfect health. My affliction is for the
death of Abon Hassan, her husband, your favourite, whom you was so kind
to let me know, who often diverted me very agreeably, and for whom I have
as great a value as you yourself. But, sir, the little concern you show
for his death, and your so soon forgetting a man in whom you have often
told me you took a great deal of pleasure, amazes and surprises me very
much; and this insensibility seems the greater, by your changing his
death for that of my slave.
The caliph, who thought that he was perfectly well informed of the death
of the slave, and had just reason to believe so, because he had both seen
and heard Abon Hassan, fell a-laughing and shrugging up his shoulders, to
hear Zobeide talk after this manner. Mesrour, said he, turning himself
about to that eunuch, what dost thou think of the princess’s discourse?
Do not women sometimes lose their senses? for, in short, thou hast heard
and seen all as well as myself. Then turning about to Zobeide, Madam,
said he, do not shed any more tears for Abon Hassan, for I can assure you
he is well; but rather bewail the death of your dear slave. It is not
many moments since her husband came all in tears, and the most
inexpressible affliction, to tell me of the death of his wife. I gave him
a purse of a hundred pieces of gold, and a piece of brocade, to comfort
him, and bury her with; and Mesrour here, who was by, can tell you the
same.
The princess took this discourse of the caliph to be all a jest, and that
he had a mind to impose upon her credulity. Commander of the Faithful,
replied she, though you are used to banter, I must tell you this is not a
proper time. What I tell you is very serious: I do not talk of my slave’s
death, but of Abon Hassan her husband’s, whose fate I bewail, and so
ought you too. Madam, said the caliph, putting on a grave countenance, I
tell you, without raillery, that you are deceived; Nouz-hatoul-aonadat is
dead, and Abon Hassan is alive, and in perfect health.
Zobeide was very much piqued at this answer of the caliph. Commander of
the Faithful, replied she smartly, surely you would make me think that
you were mad; give me leave to repeat to you once more that it is Abon
Hassan who is dead, and that my slave Nouz-hatoul-aonadat is living; it
is not an hour ago since she went from hence; she came here in so
disconsolate a state, that the sight of her was enough to have drawn
tears from my eyes, if she had not told me her affliction. All my women,
who cried with me, can bear me witness, and tell you also, that I made
her a present of a hundred pieces of gold, and a piece of brocade; and
the grief which you found me in was upon the death of her husband; and
just that instant that you came in, I was going to send you a compliment
of condolence.
At these words of Zobeide, the caliph cried out, in a fit of laughter,
This, madam, is a strange piece of obstinacy; but, continued he
seriously, you may depend upon Nouz-hatoul-aonadat’s being dead. I tell
you not, sir, replied Zobeide instantly; it is Abon Hassan that is dead,
and you shall never make me believe otherwise.