distance from the princess, and, speaking to Mesrour, said, Go
immediately, and see which it is, and bring me word; for though I am
certain that it is Nouz-hatoul-aonadat, I would rather take this way,
than be any longer obstinately positive. For my part, replied Zobeide, I
know very well that I am in the right, and you will find it to be Abon
Hassan. And for mine, replied the caliph, I am so sure that it is
Nouz-hatoul-aonadat, that I will lay you what wager you will that Abon
Hassan is well.
Do not think to come off there, said Zobeide: I accept of your wager, and
I am so well persuaded of his death, that I would willingly lay the
dearest thing in the world to me. You know what I have in my disposal,
and what I value most; propose the bet, and I will stand to it.
Since it is come to that, said the caliph, I will lay my garden of
pleasures against your palace of paintings, though the one is worth much
more than the other. It is no matter for that, replied Zobeide; if your
garden is more valuable, you have made choice of what you thought fit,
and what belonged to me, as an equivalent against what you lay; and I say
done to the wager, and will not turn back. The caliph said the same, and
both waited until Mesrour returned.
While the caliph and Zobeide were disputing so earnestly, and with so
much heat, Abon Hassan, who foresaw their difference, was very attentive
to whatever might happen. As soon as he perceived Mesrour through a
window, over against which he sat, talking with his wife, and observed
that he was coming directly to their apartment, he presently guessed what
he was coming about, and bade his wife make haste to act the dead part
once more, as they had agreed on; and, in short, they were so pinched for
time, that Abon Hassan had much ado to wrap up his wife, and lay the
piece of brocade upon her, before Mesrour came. As soon as he had done
that, he opened the door of his apartment, and with a melancholy dejected
countenance, and his handkerchief before his eyes, went and sat down at
the head of the pretended deceased.
By that time he was seated Mesrour came into the room. The dismal sight
that saluted his eyes gave him a secret joy, on account of the errand the
caliph sent him on. As soon as Abon Hassan perceived him, he rose up to
meet him, and kissing his hand out of respect, said, sighing and
groaning, You see me, sir, in the greatest affliction that ever could
befall me; the death of my wife Nouz-hatoul-aonadat, whom you honoured
with your favours.
Mesrour, softened by this discourse, could not refuse some tears to the
memory of the deceased. He lifted up the pall a little at the head, which
was uncovered, and peeping under it, let it down again, and said, with a
deep sigh, There is no other god but God; we must all submit to his will,
and return to him. Nouz-hatoul-aonadat, my good sister, added he, thy
days have been very few: God have mercy on thee. Then turning to Abon
Hassan, who was all the time in tears, We may well say, said he, that
women sometimes have whims, and lose their senses; for Zobeide will
maintain to the caliph, that you are dead, and not your wife; and
whatever the caliph can say to the contrary, he cannot persuade her
otherwise. He called me to witness the truth of what he affirms; for you
know I was by when you came and told him the sorrowful news: but all
signifies nothing; they are both positive; and the caliph, to convince
Zobeide, has sent me to know the truth; but I fear I shall not be
believed; for when women once take a thing, they are not to be beat out
of it.
God keep the commander of the faithful in the right use of his senses,
replied Abon Hassan, still sighing and crying; you see how it is, and
that I have not imposed upon his majesty; and I wish to heaven, continued
he, to dissemble the better, that I had no occasion to tell him the
melancholy and afflicting news. Alas! I cannot enough express my
irreparable loss. That is true, replied Mesrour; and I can assure you, I
have a great share in your affliction; but you must comfort, and not
abandon yourself to your grief. I leave you against my will, to return to
the caliph; but I beg the favour of you not to bury the corpse until I
come again, for I will assist at the interment.
Abon Hassan waited on him to the door, and told him that he did not
deserve the honour that he did him; and for fear Mesrour should return to
say something else to him, he followed him with his eyes for some time,
and then returned to his wife, and unloosed her. This is already, said
he, a new scene of mirth; but I fancy it will not be the last; for
certainly the princess Zobeide will not believe Mesrour, but laugh at
him, since she has too substantial a reason to the contrary; therefore we
must expect some new event. Whilst Abon Hassan and Nouz-hatoul-aonadat
were talking thus, she had time enough to put on her clothes again; and
both went and sat down on a sofa, opposite to the window, where they
could see all that passed.
In the mean time, Mesrour reached Zobeide’s apartment, and going into her
closet laughing, clapped his hands, like one who had something very
agreeable to tell.
The caliph, who was naturally impatient, would presently be informed of
the truth of the matter; for he was piqued a little at the princess’s
diffidence: therefore, as soon as he saw Mesrour, Vile slave, said he, is
this a time to laugh? Why do you not tell me which is dead, the wife or
the husband?
Commander of the Faithful, answered Mesrour, putting on a serious
countenance, it is Nouz-hatoul-aonadat who is dead; for the loss of whom
Abon Hassan is as much afflicted as when he appeared before your majesty.
The caliph, not giving him time to pursue his story, interrupted him, and
cried out, laughing heartily, Good news; Zobeide was a moment ago
mistress of the palace of paintings, which she staked against my garden
of pleasures, since you went, and now it is mine; therefore thou couldst
not have done me a greater pleasure: but give me a true account of what
thou sawest.
Commander of the Faithful, said Mesrour, when I came to Abon Hassan’s
apartments, I found the door open, and he bewailing the death of his wife
Nouz-hatoul-aonadat. He was seated at the head of the deceased, who was
laid out in the middle of the room, with her feet towards Mecca, and was
covered with that piece of brocade which your majesty made a present of
to Abon Hassan. After I had expressed the share I had in his grief, I
went and lifted up the pall at the head, and knew Nouz-hatoul-aonadat,
though her face was very much swelled. I exhorted Abon Hassan the best I
could to comfort himself; and when I came away, I told him I would attend
at his wife’s funeral, and desired him not to stir the corpse till I
came. This is all I can tell your majesty. I ask no more, said the
caliph, laughing heartily; and I am very well satisfied with thy
exactness. Then addressing himself to Zobeide, Well, madam, said he, have
you yet any thing to say against so certain a truth? Will you always
believe that Nouz-hatoul-aonadat is alive, and that Abon Hassan is dead?
And will you not own that you have lost your wager?
How, sir, replied Zobeide, who would not believe one word Mesrour said,
do you think that I regard that impertinent slave, who knows not what he
says? I am not so blind or mad. With these eyes I saw Nouz-hatoul-aonadat
in the greatest affliction: I spoke to her myself, and she told me that
her husband was dead.
Madam, replied Mesrour, I swear to you by your own life, and that of the
commander of the faithful, which are both dear to me, that
Nouz-hatoul-aonadat is dead, and Abon Hassan is living.
Thou art a base despicable slave, said Zobeide, in a rage, and I will
confound thee immediately; and thereupon she called her women, by
clapping her hands together, who all came in. Come hither, said the
princess to them, and speak the truth: Who was that who came and spoke
with me a little before the caliph came here? The women all answered,
that it was poor afflicted Nouz-hatoul-aonadat. And what, added she,
addressing herself to her that was treasurer, did I order you to give
her? Madam, answered the treasurer, I gave Nouz-hatoul-aonadat, by your
orders, a purse of a hundred pieces of gold, and a piece of brocade,
which she carried along with her. Well then, sorry slave, said Zobeide to
Mesrour, in a great passion, what hast thou to say to all this? What dost
thou think now, that I ought to believe thee, or my treasurer, my other
women, or myself?
Mesrour did not want for arguments to contradict the princess; but, as he
was afraid of provoking her too much, he chose rather to be silent,
though he was satisfied within himself that the wife was dead, and not
the husband.
All the time of this dispute between Zobeide and Mesrour, the caliph, who
heard what was said on both sides, and was against the princess, because
he had seen and spoke to Abon Hassan himself, laughed heartily to see
Zobeide so exasperated against Mesrour. Madam, said he to Zobeide, I know
not indeed who was the author of that saying, That women sometimes lose
their wits; but I am sure you make it good. Mesrour came just now from
Abon Hassan’s, and tells you that he saw Nouz-hatoul-aonadat lying dead
in the middle of the room, Abon Hassan alive, and sitting by her; and yet
you will not believe this evidence, which nobody can reasonably refuse: I
think it is very strange.
Zobeide would not hear what the caliph represented. Pardon me, Commander
of the Faithful, replied she, if I suspect you: I see very well that you
have contrived with Mesrour to chagrin me, and try my patience. And as I
perceive that this report was concerted between you, I beg leave to send
a person to Abon Hassan’s, to know whether or no I am in the wrong.
The caliph consented, and the princess charged an old nurse, who had
lived a long time with her, with that important commission. Hark ye,
nurse, said she, you see the dispute between the caliph and me; therefore
go to Abon Hassan’s, or rather Nouz-hatoul-aonadat’s, for he is dead, and
clear up this matter. If thou bringest me good news, a handsome present
is thy reward. Make haste and return quickly.
The caliph was overjoyed to see Zobeide in this embarrassment; but
Mesrour, extremely mortified to find the princess so angry with him, did
all he could to appease her, insomuch that she and the caliph were both
satisfied with him. He was overjoyed when Zobeide sent the nurse; because
he was persuaded that the report she would make would agree with his, and
would justify him, and restore him to her favour.
In the mean time, Abon Hassan, who watched the window, perceived the
nurse at a distance, and guessing that she was sent by Zobeide, called
his wife, and told her that the princess’s nurse was coming to know the
truth; therefore, said he, make haste and lay me out. Accordingly
Nouz-hatoul-aonadat did so, and covered him with the piece of brocade
Zobeide had given her, and put his turban upon his face. The nurse, eager
to acquit herself of her commission, came a good round pace, and entering
the room, perceived Nouz-hatoul-aonadat all in tears, her hair
dishevelled, and seated at the head of her husband, beating her breast,
and expressing a violent grief.
The good old nurse went directly to the false widow. My dear
Nouz-hatoul-aonadat, said she, with a sorrowful face, I come not to
interrupt your grief and tears for a husband who loved you so tenderly.
Ah! good mother, replied the counterfeit widow, you see my misfortune,
and how unhappy I am by the loss of my beloved Abon Hassan. Abon Hassan,
my dear husband! cried she, what have I done that you should leave me so
soon? Have I not always rather obeyed your will than my own? Alas! what
will become of poor Nouz-hatoul-aonadat?
The nurse was in a great surprise to see every thing quite the reverse of
what the chief of the eunuchs had told the caliph. This black-faced
Mesrour, said she, lifting up her hands, deserves to be impaled for
having made so great a difference between my good mistress and the
commander of the faithful, by the notorious lie he told them. I will tell
you daughter, said she, the wickedness of that villain Mesrour, who has
asserted, with an inconceivable impudence, before my mistress’s face,
that you were dead, and Abon Hassan was alive.
Alas! my good mother, cried Nouz-hatoul-aonadat, I wish to heaven that it
was true! I should not be in this sorrowful state, nor bewail a husband
so dear to me. At these words she burst out into tears, and feigned a
most desperate trouble.
The nurse was so much concerned for her tears, that she sat down by her,
and cried too: then gently lifting up the turban and cloth, looked on the
face of the corpse. Ah! poor Abon Hassan, cried she, covering the face
again, God have mercy upon thee. Adieu, child, said she to
Nouz-hatoul-aonadat; if I could stay longer with you, I would, with all
my heart: but I am obliged to return immediately, to free my mistress
from the uneasiness that black villain has given her by his impudent lie,
assuring her with an oath that you was dead.
As soon as the nurse was gone, and had pulled the door after her, and
Nouz-hatoul-aonadat thought she would not come back again, she wiped her
eyes, and went and unloosed Abon Hassan, and then both went and sat down
on a sofa against the window, expecting what would be the end of this
cheat, and to be ready to act according as things should offer.
The nurse, in the mean time, made all the haste she could to Zobeide. The
pleasure of carrying the princess good news, and hopes of a good reward,
added wings to her feet; and running into the princess’s closet, quite
out of breath, there gave her a true account of all she had seen. Zobeide
hearkened to the old woman’s relation with a most sensible pleasure; and
when she had done, she said, Repeat it once more before the caliph, who
looked upon us all to be fools, and would make us believe we have no
sense of religion, nor fear of God; and tell your story to that wicked
black slave, who had the insolence to assert a falsity, and which I know
to be one.
Mesrour, who expected the nurse’s report would prove favourable on his
side, was very much mortified to find it so much the contrary. He was so
vexed at the rage Zobeide expressed against him, for a thing he believed
to be very true, that he was glad of having an opportunity of speaking
his mind freely to the nurse, which he durst not do to the princess. Old
toothless, said he to the nurse, thou tellest lies, and there is no truth
in what thou sayest; for I saw Nouz-hatoul-aonadat, with these eyes, laid
out in the midst of the room.
Thou art a notorious liar thyself, replied the nurse, with an insulting
air, to dare to maintain before my face so great a falsity, since I saw
Abon Hassan dead, and laid out, and left his wife alive. Thou art an
impostor, replied Mesrour, and endeavourest to put us all into confusion.
There is impudence for you, said the nurse, to dare to tell me I lie, in
the presence of their majesties, when I saw just now, with my own eyes,
what I have had the honour to tell them. Indeed, nurse, answered Mesrour
again, you had better hold your tongue, for you certainly dote.
Zobeide, who could not support this want of respect in Mesrour, who,
without any regard to her, treated her nurse injuriously, without giving
the nurse time to reply to so gross an affront, said to the caliph,
Commander of the Faithful, I demand justice for this insolence in our
presence; and could say no more, she was so enraged, and burst out into
tears.
The caliph, who had heard all this dispute, thought it very intricate,
and mused some time, and could not tell what to think of so many
contradictions. The princess, for her part, as well as Mesrour, the
nurse, and all the women slaves who were present, were as much puzzled,
and remained silent. At last the caliph taking up the cudgels, and
addressing himself to Zobeide, said, I see very well we are all liars;
myself first, and then you, Mesrour, and your nurse; or at least it seems
not one can be believed before the other: therefore, let us go ourselves
to know the truth; for I can see no other way to clear up these doubts.
After these words the caliph got up, the princess followed him, and
Mesrour went before to open the doors. Commander of the Faithful, said
he, I am overjoyed that your majesty has taken this course, and much
more, when I shall make it plainly appear that the nurse dotes, though
the expression is displeasing to my good mistress.
The nurse, who wanted not to reply, said, Hold thy tongue, black face;
thou dotest thyself.
Zobeide, who was very much provoked at Mesrour, could not bear to hear
him attack her nurse again without taking her part. Vile slave, said she,
say what thou wilt, I maintain my nurse is in the right, and look upon
thee as a liar. Madam, replied Mesrour, if the nurse is so very certain
that Nouz-hatoul-aonadat is alive, and Abon Hassan is dead, I will lay
her what she dare of it. The nurse was as ready as he; and, in short,
they laid a piece of gold and silver stuff.
The apartment the caliph and Zobeide came out of, though it was a great
way from Abon Hassan’s, was nevertheless just over against it, and Abon
Hassan could perceive them coming, and told his wife, that the caliph and
Zobeide, preceded by Mesrour, and followed by a great number of women,
were coming to do them the honour of a visit. At this news she seemed
frightened, and cried out, What shall we do? we are ruined! Fear nothing,
replied Abon Hassan: What! have you forgot what we agreed on? We will
both be dead, and you shall see all will go well. At the slow rate they
come, we shall be ready before that time they get to the door.
Accordingly Abon Hassan and his wife wrapped up and covered themselves
with the piece of brocade, and waited patiently for their visitors.
Mesrour, who came first, opened the door, and the caliph and Zobeide,
followed by their attendants, entered the room; but were extremely
surprised, and stood motionless, at the dismal sight which saluted their
eyes. At last, Zobeide breaking silence, said to the caliph, Alas! they
are both dead! You have done finely, continued she, looking at the caliph
and Mesrour, to endeavour to make me believe that my slave was dead; and
I find it true at last: it is dangerous jesting with edge-tools: the
grief of losing her husband has certainly killed her. Say rather, madam,
answered the caliph, prepossessed to the contrary, that
Nouz-hatoul-aonadat died first, and the afflicted Abon Hassan could not
survive his dear wife: therefore you ought to agree that you have lost
your wager, and your palace of paintings is mine.
Hold there, answered Zobeide, animated with the same spirit of
contradiction; I will maintain it, you have lost your garden of pleasures
to me. Abon Hassan died first; since my nurse told you, as well as me,
that she saw her alive, and crying for the death of her husband.
The dispute of the caliph and Zobeide brought on another between Mesrour
and the nurse, who had wagered as well as they; and each pretended to
win, and came at last to abuse each other very grossly.
After all, the caliph reflecting on what had passed, began to think that
Zobeide had as much reason as himself to maintain that she had won. In
the embarrassment he was, of not being able to find out the truth, he
advanced towards the two corpses, and sat himself down at the head,
searching after something that might gain him the victory over Zobeide.
Well, cried he, presently after, I swear, by the holy name of God, that I
will give a thousand pieces of gold to him that can tell me which of
these two died first.
No sooner were these words out of the caliph’s mouth, but he heard a
voice under Abon Hassan’s pall, say, Commander of the Faithful, I died
first, give me the thousand pieces of gold. At the same time he saw Abon
Hassan throw off the piece of brocade, and come and prostrate himself at
his feet, while his wife did the same to Zobeide, keeping on her pall of
brocade, out of decency. The princess at first shrieked out, and
frightened all about her; but recovering herself at last, expressed a
great joy to see her slave rise again alive. Ah! wicked
Nouz-hatoul-aonadat, cried she, what affliction have I been in for thy
sake! However, I forgive thee from my heart, and am glad to see thee
well.
The caliph, for his part, was not so much surprised when he heard Abon
Hassan’s voice; but thought he should have died away with laughing at
this unravelling of the mystery, and to hear Abon Hassan ask so seriously
for the thousand pieces of gold. What, Abon Hassan, said he, hast thou
conspired against my life, to kill me a second time with laughing? How
came this thought into your head, to surprise Zobeide and me thus, when
we least thought on such a trick?
Commander of the Faithful, replied Abon Hassan, I will declare to your
majesty the whole truth, without the least reserve. Your majesty knows
very well, that I always loved to eat and drink well; and the wife you
gave me rather increased than restrained that inclination. With these
dispositions, your majesty may easily suppose we might spend a good
estate; and, to make short of my story, we were not the least sparing of
what your majesty so generously gave us. This morning, accounting with
our caterer, who took care to provide every thing for us, and paying what
we owed him, we found we had nothing left. Then reflections of what was
past, and resolutions to manage better for the future, crowded into our
thoughts apace, and after them a thousand projects, all which we refused.
At last, the shame of being reduced to so low a condition, and not daring
to tell your majesty, made us contrive this trick to relieve our
necessities, and to divert your majesty, hoping that you would be pleased
to pardon us.
The caliph and Zobeide were very well satisfied with Abon Hassan’s
sincerity; and then Zobeide, who had all along been very serious, began
to laugh, and could not help thinking of Abon Hassan’s scheme; when the
caliph, who had laughed his sides sore at the singularity of this
adventure, rising up, said, Follow me both of you, and I will give you
the thousand pieces of gold I promised you. Zobeide desired him to let
her make her slave a present of that sum. By this means Abon Hassan and
his dear wife Nouz-hatoul-aonadat preserved the favour of the caliph
Haroun Alraschid and the princess Zobeide; and by their liberalities were
made capable of pursuing their pleasures.
Footnotes
[1]A famous player on the lute, that lived at Bagdad at that time.
[2]Giauhara, in Arabic, signifies a Precious Stone.
END OF THE THIRD VOLUME.
LONDON:
PRINTED BY THOMAS DAVISON, WHITEFRIARS.
Transcriber’s notes
--Silently corrected several palpable typos.
End of Project Gutenberg's The Arabian Nights, Volume III (of 4), by Anonymous