being clothed in the caliph’s habit, and having used all his authority,
and being obeyed very punctually, and treated like the true caliph, and
which persuaded him when he waked that he was so, all began to be
insensibly effaced. Sometimes he would say to himself, If I was the
caliph, and commander of the believers, how came I home dressed in my own
apparel? Why should I not have been attended by eunuchs and ladies? Why
should my grand Vizier Giafar, and all those emirs and governors of
provinces, who prostrated themselves at my feet, forsake me? Undoubtedly
if I had any authority over them, they would have delivered me all this
time out of this miserable condition I am in: certainly I ought to look
upon all this as a dream. It is true, I commanded the judge of the police
to punish the iman and four old men his companions: I ordered Giafar the
grand vizier to carry my mother a thousand pieces of gold: and all my
commands were executed. All these things are obstacles to my believing it
a dream; but yet there are so many things that I cannot comprehend, nor
ever shall, that I will put my trust in God, who knows all things.
Abon Hassan was taken up with these thoughts and sentiments, when his
mother came to see him, who found him so much altered and changed from
what he had been, that she let fall a torrent of tears; in the midst of
which she saluted him as she used to do, and he returned her salute,
which he had never done before while he had been in the hospital. This
civility she looked upon to be a good sign. Well, son, said she, how do
you do, and how do you find yourself? Have you renounced all those whims
and fancies which some cursed demon had put into your head? Indeed,
mother, replied Abon Hassan, very rationally and calmly, I acknowledge my
error, and beg of you to forgive the execrable crime which I have been
guilty of towards you, and which I detest. I ask pardon also of my
neighbours whom I have abused. I have been deceived by a dream; but by so
extraordinary a one, and so like to truth, that any other person, to whom
such a thing might have happened, would have been guilty of as great
extravagances: and I am at this instant so much perplexed about it, that
I can hardly persuade myself but that it was matter of fact. But whatever
it was, I do and always will look upon it as a dream and illusion. I am
convinced that I am not that shadow of a caliph and commander of the
faithful, but Abon Hassan, your son; and shall never forget that fatal
day which covered me with shame and confusion; but honour and respect you
all my life as I ought.
At these sensible words, the mother of Abon Hassan changed the tears of
her sorrow and affliction into those of joy, to find her son so well
recovered. My dear child, said she, transported with pleasure, my
satisfaction and comfort is inexpressible, to hear you talk so
reasonably, and gives me as much joy as if I had brought you into the
world a second time. But I must observe one thing in this adventure,
which you may not have taken notice of: the stranger that you brought
home one night to sup with you, went away without shutting the
chamber-door after him as you desired him; which I believe gave some
demon an opportunity to enter, and put you into that horrible illusion
you were in: and therefore, my son, you ought to return God thanks for
your deliverance, and beseech him to keep you out of the snares of the
evil spirit.
You have found out the source of my misfortunes, answered Abon Hassan; it
was that very night I had this dream, which turned my brain. I bade the
merchant expressly to shut the door after him; and now I find he did not
do it. I am persuaded, as well as you, some devil came in, and filled my
head full of these fancies. For they at Moussel are not so well convinced
that the devil is the cause of troublesome dreams, as we are at Bagdad.
But since, mother, you see I am so well recovered, for God’s sake get me
out of this hellish place. The mother, glad to find her son so well cured
of his foolish imagination of being caliph, went immediately to the
keeper, and assuring him that he was very sensible and well, he came and
examined him, and afterwards gave him his liberty.
When Abon Hassan came home, he staid within doors some days, to comfort
himself by better food and nourishment than what he had at the hospital.
But when he had recovered his strength, and refreshed himself after his
harsh treatment, he began to be weary with spending his evenings alone,
and so entered again upon the same way of living as before; which was to
provide enough every day to regale a stranger at night.
The day on which Abon Hassan renewed this custom, happened to be the
first day of the month, which was the day that the caliph always sets
apart to go disguised through the town, to observe what irregularities
were committed in the government of the city. Towards the evening he went
to the bridge, and set himself on a bench which was fixed to the parapet;
where, looking about him, he perceived the caliph disguised again like a
Moussel merchant, and followed by the same slave: and, persuaded that all
his misfortunes were owing to the caliph’s leaving his door open, whom he
took for a merchant, he swooned at the sight of him. God preserve me,
said he to himself; if I am not deceived, there is the magician again
that enchanted me! and thereupon got up, and looked over the parapet into
the river, that he might not see him.
The caliph, who had a mind to carry on his joke farther, had taken a
great deal of care to inform himself of all that had happened when Abon
Hassan waked at home, and conceived a great pleasure at the relation
given him, especially at his being sent to a mad-house. But that monarch
was both just and generous, and had taken a great liking to Abon Hassan:
he designed, after he had carried on this scene, to take him into his
palace; and to pursue this project, he had dressed himself again like a
merchant of Moussel. He perceived Abon Hassan at the same time that he
saw him, and presently guessed by his actions that he was angry with him,
and wanted to shun him. This made him walk close to the parapet Abon
Hassan leaned over; and when he came nigh him, he put his head over to
look him in the face. Ah, brother Abon Hassan, said he, is it you? give
me leave to embrace you. Not I, replied Abon Hassan roughly, without
looking at the pretended Moussel merchant: I will not embrace you; I have
nothing to say to you; go along.
What! answered the caliph, do you not know me? Do you not remember the
evening we spent together at your house this day month, where you did me
the honour to treat me very generously? No, replied Abon Hassan, I do not
know you, nor what you talk about: go, I say again, about your business.
The caliph was not to be dashed with this rude behaviour of Abon Hassan.
He knew very well the law he had imposed on himself, never to have any
commerce again with a stranger he had once entertained; but though Abon
Hassan had declared so much to him, he pretended to be ignorant of it. I
cannot believe, said he, but you must know me again; it is not possible
that you should have forgot me in so short a time. Certainly some
misfortune has befallen you, which gives you this aversion. However, you
ought to remember that I show my acknowledgment by my good wishes; and
that I have offered you my interest, which is not despicable, in an
affair which you had very much at heart.
I do not know, replied Abon Hassan, what your interest may be, and I have
no desire to make use of it; but I am sensible the utmost of your wishes
was to make me mad. In God’s name, I say once more, go your way, and
trouble me no more.
Ah! brother Abon Hassan, replied the caliph, embracing him, I do not
intend to part with you in this manner, since I have had the good fortune
to meet with you a second time: you must exercise the same hospitality
towards me again that you showed me a month ago, when I had the honour to
drink with you.
I have protested against it, said Abon Hassan, and have so much power
over myself as not to receive such a man as you. You know the proverb,
Take up your drum and be gone: make the application to yourself. God be
with you; you have been the cause of my misfortune, and I will not
venture myself with you again. My good friend Abon Hassan, said the
caliph, embracing him again, I beg of you not to treat me after this
injurious manner, but be better persuaded of my friendship. Do me the
favour to tell me what has happened to you; for I assure you, I wish you
well, and would be glad of an opportunity to make you amends for the
trouble I have caused you, if it has been actually my fault. Abon Hassan
yielded to the pressing instances of the caliph, and bade him sit down by
him. Your incredulity and importunity have tired my patience; and what I
am going to tell you, will show you that I do not accuse you wrongfully.
The caliph sat down by Abon Hassan, while he told him all that happened
to him, from his waking in the palace to his waking again in his own
house, all as a mere dream, with all the circumstances, which the caliph
knew as well as himself, and which renewed his pleasure. He exaggerated
afterwards upon the impression that dream of being caliph made upon him,
which, he said, threw him into such extravagances, that he was carried to
the mad-house, and used very barbarously. But, said he, what will
surprise you, and what you little think of, is, that it was altogether
your fault that these things fell out: for, if you remember, I desired
you to shut the door after you, which you neglected; and some devil
finding it open, put this dream into my head, which, though it was very
agreeable, was the cause of the misfortune I complain of; therefore you,
for your negligence, are answerable for the horrid and detestable crime I
was guilty of, in lifting my hand against my mother, whom I might have
killed, and committed parricide, because she said I was her son, and she
would not acknowledge me for the commander of the faithful: besides, I
blush when I think of it, and that all my neighbours were witnesses of my
folly. In short, Abon Hassan complained of his misfortunes with great
heat and vehemence, and did not forget the least circumstance; which
pleased the caliph to find he had succeeded so well, who could not help
bursting out a-laughing at the simplicity wherewith he related them.
Abon Hassan, who thought that his story should rather move compassion,
and that every one ought to be as much concerned at it as himself, very
much resented the pretended Moussel merchant’s laughter. What! said he,
do you make a jest of me, to laugh in my face, or do you believe that I
do not speak seriously? If you want proofs of what I advance, look and
see whether or no I tell you the truth: with that, stooping down, and
baring his shoulders, he showed the caliph the strokes and weals the
bull’s pizzle had made.
The caliph could not behold these objects of horror without pitying poor
Abon Hassan, and being sorry for carrying the jest so far. Come, rise,
dear brother, said he, hugging Abon Hassan friendly in his arms; let me
go and enjoy the happiness of being merry with you to-night; and
to-morrow, if it please God, all things will go well.
Abon Hassan, notwithstanding his resolution and oath, could not resist
the caliph’s caresses. I will consent, said he to the pretended merchant,
if you will swear to shut my door after you, that no demon may come in to
distract my brain again. The caliph promised that he would; upon which
they both got up, and, followed by the caliph’s slave, reached Abon
Hassan’s house by the time it was dark.
As soon as Abon Hassan entered the doors, he called for candles, and
desired his guest to sit down upon a sofa, and then placed himself by
him. A little time after, supper was brought up, and they both fell to
without ceremony: afterwards there came up a small dessert of fruit,
wine, and glasses. Abon Hassan first filled out his glass, and then the
caliph’s; and after they had drunk some time, and talked of indifferent
matters, the caliph perceiving that his host grew warm with liquor, began
to talk of love, and asked him if he had never been sensible of that
passion.
Brother, replied Abon Hassan familiarly, I never looked upon love or
marriage but as bondage or slavery, to which I was always unwilling to
submit; and must own to you that I never loved any thing but good cheer
and good wine; in short, to divert and entertain myself agreeably with my
friends. But yet I do not tell you that I am so indifferent for marriage,
or incapable of an inclination, if I could meet with a woman of such
beauty and sweetness of temper as those I saw in my dream that fatal
night I first saw you, and received you into my house, and you, to my
misfortune, left my door open, who would pass the whole night with me,
drinking, and singing, and playing on some instrument, and who would
study to please and divert me: I believe, on the contrary, I should
change all my indifference to a perfect attachment to such a person, and
I believe should live very happily with her. But where is such a woman to
be found, but in the caliph’s palace, or in those of the grand vizier, or
some other great lords of the court, who want no money? I choose rather
to stick close to my bottle, which is a pleasure much cheaper, and which
I can enjoy as well as they. In saying, these words, he filled out his
own and the caliph’s glass, and said, Come, take your glass, and let us
pursue this charming pleasure.
When they had drunk off their wine, It is a great pity, said the caliph,
that so gallant a man as you, who owns himself not insensible of love,
should lead so solitary a life. I prefer the easy quiet life I live,
replied Abon Hassan, before the company of a wife, whose beauty might not
please, and who, besides, might create me a great deal of trouble by her
imperfections, and perhaps ill humour. This subject lasted a long time;
and the caliph, seeing Abon Hassan had drunk up to the pitch he wanted to
have him, said, Let me alone; since you have so good a taste, I warrant
you I will find you one that shall please you: and then taking Abon
Hassan’s glass, and putting a pinch of the same powder into it again,
filled him up a bumper, and presenting it to him, said, Come, let us
drink first the fair lady’s health who is to make you happy.
Abon Hassan took the glass laughing, and shaking his head, said, Come, I
will drink the lady’s health you promised me, though I am very well
contented as I am, and do not rely on your promise; but cannot be guilty
of so great a piece of incivility, as to disoblige a guest of so much
merit, in such a trifling matter. But as soon as he had drunk off his
liquor, he was seized with as deep a sleep as before; and the caliph
ordered the same slave to take him and carry him to the palace, and in
the mean time shut the door after him, as he had promised, and followed
him.
When they arrived at the palace, the caliph ordered Abon Hassan to be
laid on a sofa, in the fourth hall, from whence he was carried home: but
first he bade them put him in the same habit which he acted the caliph
in. After that, he charged all the eunuchs; officers, ladies, and
musicians, who were in the hall when he drank the last glass of wine, to
be there by daybreak, and to take care to act their parts well; and then
went to bed, charging Mesrour to wake him before they went into the hall,
that he might hide himself in the closet as before.
Mesrour wakened the caliph at the hour appointed; who immediately rose,
and went to the hall where Abon Hassan was laid fast asleep; and when he
had placed himself in his closet, Mesrour and the other officers and
ladies placed themselves about the sofa, so that the caliph might see
what passed.
Things being thus disposed, and the caliph’s powder having had its
effect, Abon Hassan began to stir, and the music to play a very agreeable
concert. Abon Hassan was in a great surprise to hear that charming
harmony; but when he opened his eyes, and saw the ladies and officers
about him, and which he thought he knew again, his amazement was
redoubled. The hall that he was in seemed to be the same he dreamed of;
and he observed the same branches, and the same furniture and ornaments.
When the concert was ended, he bit his finger and cried loud enough for
the caliph to hear him, Alas! I am fallen again into the same dream and
illusion that happened to me a month ago, and must expect again the
bull’s pizzle and mad-house. Almighty God, added he, I commit myself into
the hands of thy divine providence. He was a wicked man that I
entertained at my house last night, who has been the cause of this
illusion, and the miserable hardships I must undergo. The base wretch
swore to shut the door after him, and he did not do it; and the devil
came in, and filled my head full of this wicked dream of being commander
of the faithful, and other phantoms, which bewitch my eyes. May thou be
confounded, Satan, and crushed under some mountain!
After these words, Abon Hassan closed his eyes, and remained some time
thoughtful, and very much perplexed; then opening them again, and looking
about him, cried out a second time, Great God! I commit myself into the
hands of thy providence; preserve me from the temptation of Satan. Then
shutting them again, he said, All that I know is, I will go and sleep
till Satan leaves me, and returns as he came; when one of the ladies
approached, and sitting down on a sofa by him, said to him, Commander of
the Faithful, I beg of your majesty to forgive me for taking the liberty
to tell you not to go to sleep; day appears, and it is time to rise. Be
gone, Satan! answered Abon Hassan, raising his voice: but looking upon
the lady, he said, Is it I you call the commander of the faithful?
Certainly you take me for somebody else. It is to your majesty I give
that title, replied the lady, to whom it belongs, as you are sovereign of
the world and the Mussulmans, and I am your most humble slave.
Undoubtedly your majesty, added she, pretends to have forgot yourself, or
this is the effect of some troublesome dream; but if you would but open
your eyes, the mists which may disturb your imagination will soon be
dispelled, and you will find yourself in your own palace, surrounded by
your officers and slaves, who all wait your commands: and that your
majesty may not be surprised to find yourself in this hall, and not in
bed, I beg leave to tell you, that you fell so suddenly asleep last
night, that we were unwilling to wake you, to conduct you to your own
chamber, but laid you carefully upon this sofa. In short, she urged so
many things to him that were so very probable, that at last he sat upon
his breech, and knew all the ladies again. Then she who spoke first,
assuming the discourse, said, Commander of the Faithful, and the
prophet’s vicar on earth, be not displeased if I acquaint your majesty
once more, that it is time to rise, for day appears.
You are very troublesome and importunate, replied Abon Hassan, rubbing
his eyes: I am not the commander of the faithful, but Abon Hassan; and
you shall not persuade me otherwise. We do not know that Abon Hassan your
majesty speaks of, answered the lady; but know you to be the commander of
the believers.
Abon Hassan looking about, and finding himself in the same hall,
attributed all he saw and heard to be such a dream as he had before, and
feared very much the dreadful consequences. Heaven have mercy on me! said
he, lifting up his hands and eyes, like a man who knew not where he was;
after what I have seen, there is no dispute but that devil who came into
my chamber possesses me, and fills my imagination full of all these
visions.
The caliph, who saw him all the time, and heard these exclamations,
almost killed himself with laughing; and had much ado to forbear bursting
out into so loud a laughter, that the false caliph must have heard him.
Afterwards Abon Hassan laid himself down again, and shutting his eyes,
the same lady said again, Since your majesty does not rise, after we
have, according to our duty, told you it was day, and the dispatch of
business requires your presence, we shall use the liberty you give us in
such like cases. Then taking him by one arm, and calling to one of the
other ladies to do the same by the other, they lifted him up, and carried
him into the middle of the hall, where they set him on his breech, and
all taking hands, danced round him while the music played.
Abon Hassan was in an inexpressible perplexity of mind, and said, What!
am I indeed caliph, and commander of the faithful? and in the uncertainty
he was in, would have said something more, but the music was so loud that
he could not be heard. At last he made a sign to two of the ladies who
were dancing, that he wanted to speak with them; upon which they forbore,
and went to him. Do not lie, now, said he, but tell me truly who I am.
Commander of the Faithful, replied one of the ladies, your majesty would
either surprise us by asking this question, or else you must have had
some very extraordinary dream to-night; which may very well be,
considering that your majesty has slept longer to-night than ordinary:
however, if you will give me leave, I will refresh your memory with what
passed yesterday. Then she told him how he went to the council, punished
the iman and the four old men, and sent a present by his grand vizier, of
a thousand pieces of gold, to the mother of one Abon Hassan: after that,
continued she, your majesty dined in the three halls, and, in the fourth,
did us the honour to make us sit down by you, to hear our songs, and
receive wine from our hands, till your majesty fell so fast asleep, that
you never awaked, contrary to custom, before day. All your slaves and
officers can confirm what I say; and it is now time you should go to
prayers.
Very well, replied Abon Hassan, shaking his head, you would have me
believe all this but I can tell you, you are all fools or mad; and that
is a great pity, for you are very handsome: for I can tell you, that
since I saw you, I have been at home, where I used my mother so ill, that
they sent me to a mad-house, and kept me three weeks, and beat me every
day with a bull’s pizzle; and yet you would make me believe all this to
be a dream. Commander of the Faithful answered the lady, we are all ready
to swear by what your majesty holds most dear, that all you tell is a
dream; for you never stirred out of this hall since yesterday, but slept
here all night long.
The confidence with which the lady assured Abon Hassan that all she said
was truth, and that he had never been out of the hall since that time,
made him not to know what to believe, but bewildered his senses. O
Heaven! said he to himself, am I Abon Hassan, or the commander of the
faithful? Almighty God, enlighten my understanding, and inform me of the
truth. Then he bared his shoulders, and showed the ladies the livid
weals. Look, and judge, said he, whether these strokes could come to me
in a dream, or when I was asleep. For my part, I can affirm that they
were real blows; for I feel the smart of them yet, and that is a
testimonial there is no room to doubt of. Now, if I received these
strokes in my sleep, it is the most surprising and extraordinary thing in
the world, and what I cannot understand.
In this uncertainty, Abon Hassan called to one of the officers that stood
round him: Come hither, said he, and bite the tip of my ear, that I may
know whether I am asleep or awake. The officer obeyed him, and bit so
hard that he made him cry out horridly: the music struck up at the same
time, and the officers and ladies all began to dance, and skip about Abon
Hassan, and made such a noise, that he was in a perfect enthusiasm, and
played a thousand merry tricks. He tore off his caliph’s habit, threw off
his turban, and jumped up in his shirt and drawers, and taking hold of
two of the ladies’ hands, fell a-dancing and singing, and jumping and
cutting capers, that the caliph could not contain himself, but burst into
so violent a laughter at this sudden pleasantry of Abon Hassan’s, that he
fell backwards, and made a greater noise than the musicians and all of
them together, and lay in that condition for some time. At last he got up
again, and putting out his head, cried out, Abon Hassan, Abon Hassan,
what! have you a mind to kill me with laughing?
As soon as the caliph’s voice was heard, every body was silent, and Abon
Hassan among the rest; who, turning his head to see from whence the voice
came, knew the caliph and the Moussel merchant, but was not in the least
dashed; but, on the contrary, found that he was awake, and all that had
happened to him was matter of fact, and not a dream. He entered into the
caliph’s pleasantry and intentions: Ha! ha! said he, looking at him with
a good assurance, you are a merchant of Moussel, and complain that I
would kill you, who have been the occasion of my using my mother so ill,
and being sent to a mad-house. It was you who treated the iman and the
four scheiks in the manner they were used, and not I; I wash my hands of
it. It was you who have been the cause of all my disorders: in short, you
are the aggressor, and I the injured person.