THE next thing to the choice of friends, is the choice of your company.
ENDEAVOUR, as much as you can, to keep good company, and the company of
your superiors; for you will be held in estimation according to the
company you keep. By superiors, I do not mean so much with regard to
birth, as merit, and the light in which they are considered by the
world.
THERE are two sorts of good company, the one consists of persons of
birth, rank, and fashion; the other, of those who are distinguished by
some particular merit, in any liberal art or science, as men of letters,
&c. and a mixture of these is what I would have understood by good
company: For it is not what particular sets of people shall call
themselves, but what the people in general acknowledge to be so, and are
the accredited good company of the place.
NOW and then, persons without either birth, rank, or character, will
creep into good company, under the protection of some considerable
personage; but, in general, none are admitted of mean degree, or
infamous moral character.
IN this fashionable good company alone, can you learn the best manners
and the best language; for, as there is no legal standard to form them
by, it is here they are established.
IT may possibly be questioned, whether a man has it always in his power
to get into good company; undoubtedly, by deserving it, he has, provided
he is in circumstances which enable him to live and appear in the stile
of a gentleman. Knowledge, modesty, and good-breeding, will endear him
to all that see him; for without politeness, the scholar is no better
than a pedant, the philosopher than a cynic, the soldier than a brute,
nor any man than a clown.
THOUGH the company of men of learning and genius is highly to be valued
and occasionally coveted, I would by no means have you always found in
such company. As they do not live in the world, they cannot have that
easy manner and address, which I would wish you to acquire. If you can
bear a part in such company, it is certainly advisable to be in it
sometimes, and you will be the more esteemed in other company by being
so; but let it not engross you, lest you should be considered as one of
the _literati_, which however respectable in name, is not the way to
rise or shine in the fashionable world.
BUT the company which, of all others, you should carefully avoid, is
that, which, in every sense of the word may be called _low_; low in
birth, low in rank, low in parts, and low in manners; that company, who,
insignificant and contemptible in themselves, think it an honor to be
seen with _you_, and who will flatter your follies, nay your very vices,
to keep you with them.
THOUGH _you_ may think such a caution unnecessary, I do not; for many a
young gentleman of sense and rank, has been led by his vanity to keep
such company, till he has been degraded, vilified and undone.
THE vanity I mean, is that of being the first of the company. This
pride, though too common, is idle to the last degree. Nothing in the
world lets a man down so much. For the sake of dictating, being
applauded and admired by this low company, he is disgraced and
disqualified for better. Depend upon it, in the estimation of mankind,
you will sink or rise to the level of the company you keep.
BE it, then, your ambition to get into the best company; and, when
there, imitate their virtues, but not their vices. You have, no doubt,
often heard of genteel and fashionable vices. These are whoring,
drinking and gaming. It has happened that some men, even with these
vices, have been admired and esteemed. Understand this matter rightly,
it is not their vices for which they are admired; but for some
accomplishments they at the same time possess; for their parts, their
learning, or their good-breeding. Be assured, were they free from their
vices, they would be much more esteemed. In these mixed characters, the
bad part is overlooked for the sake of the good.
SHOULD you be unfortunate enough to have any vices of your own, add not
to their number, by adopting the vices of others. Vices of adoption are
of all others the most unpardonable; for they have not inadvertency to
plead. If people had no vices but their own, few would have so many as
they have.
IMITATE, then, only the perfections you meet with; copy the politeness,
the address, the easy manners of well-bred people; and remember, let
them shine ever so bright, if they have any vices, they are so many
blemishes, which it would be as ridiculous to imitate, as it would, to
make an artificial wart upon one’s face, because some very handsome man
had the misfortune to have a natural one upon his.