HAVING mentioned absence of mind, let me be more particular concerning
it.
WHAT the world calls an absent man, is generally either a very affected
one, or a very weak one; but whether weak or affected, he is, in
company, a very disagreeable man. Lost in thought, or possibly in no
thought at all, he is a stranger to every one present, and to every
thing that passes; he knows not his best friends, is deficient in every
act of good manners, unobservant of the actions of the company, and
insensible to his own. His answers are quite the reverse of what they
ought to be; talk to him of one thing, he replies, as of another. He
forgets what he said last, leaves his hat in one room, his cane in
another, and his sword in a third; nay, if it was not for his buckles,
he would even leave his shoes behind him. Neither his arms nor his legs
seem to be a part of his body, and his head is never in a right
position. He joins not in the general conversation, except it be by fits
and starts, as if awaking from a dream: I attribute this either to
weakness or affectation. His shallow mind is possibly not able to attend
to more than one thing at a time; or he would be supposed wrap’d up in
the investigation of some very important matter. Such men as Sir Isaac
Newton or Mr. Locke, might occasionally have some excuse for absence of
mind! It might proceed from that intenseness of thought which was
necessary at all times for the scientific subjects they were studying;
but, for a young man, and a man of the world, who has no such plea to
make, absence of mind is rudeness to the company, and deserves the
severest censure.
HOWEVER insignificant a company may be; however trifling their
conversation; while you are with them, do not shew them, by an
inattention, that you think them trifling; that can never be the way to
please, but rather fall in with their weakness than otherwise; for to
mortify, or shew the least contempt to those we are in company with, is
the greatest rudeness we can be guilty of, and what few can forgive.
I NEVER yet found a man inattentive to the person he feared, or the
woman he loved; which convinces me, that absence of mind is to be got
the better of, if we think proper to make the trial; and believe me, it
is always worth the attempt.
ABSENCE of mind is a tacit declaration, that those we are in company
with, are not worth attending to; and what can be a greater
affront?——Besides, can an absent man improve by what is said or done in
his presence? No; he may frequent the best companies for years together,
and all to no purpose. In short, a man is neither fit for business nor
conversation, unless he can attend to the object before him, be that
object what it will.