DEAR, DEAR! YES, OF COURSE. SAW IT LAST OCTOBER! AND I'VE BEEN TO THE
CRYSTAL PALACE, AND I'VE READ THE GORILLA BOOK!"
(_Mild Youth is shut up._)]
[Illustration: _GOING TO COURT._]
[Illustration: _HARRY TAKES HIS COUSINS TO SEE THE HOUNDS MEET._
_Mamma and Aunt Ellen (to Old Woman)._ "PRAY, HAVE YOU MET TWO LADIES
AND A GENTLEMAN?"
_Old Woman._ "WELL, I MET THREE PEOPLE--BUT, LA! THERE, I CAN'T TELL
LADIES FROM GENTLEMEN NOW-A-DAYS--WHEN I WAS A GAL," &c. &c.]
[Illustration: _A SKETCH AT A STEEPLE-CHACE.--THE BROOK JUMP._
_Bumpkin, No. 1._ "WA-AT--ARE THEY A-GWOANG TO JOOMP THIS?"
_Bumpkin, No. 2._ "YA-AS!"
_Bumpkin, No. 1._ "THEN, I'D RAYTHER WALK THREW!"]
[Illustration: _FORCE OF HABIT._
_Old Party (in Hansom)._ "HERE! HOLLO! HI! WHAT ARE YOU DRIVING LIKE
THAT, FOR? STOP! LET ME OUT!"
_Cabby._ "ALL RIGHT, SIR! I'LL STOP 'IM DIRECTLY, SIR--I _DRUV_ A
FIRE-ENGINE FOR TWO YEAR!!"]
[Illustration: _LONDON CREAM._
_Cook._ "DO YOU CALL THIS CREAM? WHY IT'S THINNER THAN MILK!"
_Milkman._ "OH, ALL IT WANTS IS WELL STIRRING UP--THE CREAM'S AT THE
BOTTOM!!"]
[Illustration: _IN STATE._]
[Illustration: _HUNTING FROM TOWN.--IT IS SAFER TO GO WITH YOUR
ANIMAL._
_Railway Porter (reflectively)._ "EARLY TRAIN! LET'S SEE! LITTLE BAY
'OSS, AND A BROWN 'OSS WITH A BIG KNEE? HAH! THEN YOU MAY DEPEND
THEY'RE THE 'OSSES AS WENT ON TO YORK!"]
[Illustration: _SPORT(?) FOWL SHOOTING._
THE FEROCIOUS PHEASANTS THINK THEY ARE GOING TO BE FED, AND SURROUND
THE HONOURABLE MR. BATTUE ACCORDINGLY.]
[Illustration: _AN ESCORT._
_Boy._ "NOW, MISSUS, THERE'S NO BUSSES, KITCH 'OLD OF MY HARM, AND
I'LL TAKE YER OVER!"]
[Illustration: _PLEASANT!_
_Friend (to Novice at Salmon fishing)._ "I SAY, OLD BOY, MIND HOW
YOU WADE; THERE ARE SOME TREMENDOUS HOLES, FOURTEEN OR FIFTEEN FEET
DEEP."]
[Illustration: _PET-LOVE._
_Old--what shall we call her?_--"RUN, ROBERT! RUN! THERE'S THAT
DARLING PLAYING WITH A STRANGE CHILD!"]
[Illustration: _IMPORTANT MATTER._
_Augustus._ "I SAY, LAURA, JUST TELL US BEFORE ANY ONE COMES, WHETHER
MY BACK HAIR'S PARTED STRAIGHT!"]
[Illustration: _USEFUL AND ORNAMENTAL._
_Clara (reads)._ "EXCUSE, DEAREST, THE PAPER ON WHICH I WRITE--I HAVE
NOT MY DESK WITH ME, SO I SEND YOU THESE FEW HURRIED LINES ON ONE OF
MY COLLARS."]
[Illustration: _AN IMPOSTOR._
_Wife._ "CHARLES, DEAR. THERE'S A PERSON AT THE DOOR WANTS TO KNOW
WHETHER YOU WANT ANY ORNAMENT FOR YOUR FIREPLACE."
_Charles._ "MY DARLING! WHAT BETTER ORNAMENT CAN I HAVE THAN YOUR OWN
SWEET SELF?"
(_The wretch is going to dine at Greenwich with some bachelor friends,
for all that._)]
[Illustration: _DIGNITY AND IMPUDENCE._]
[Illustration: _A NIGHTMARE._
_Vision of the Night._ "ANY FRESH PRAWNS THIS MARNIN?"]
[Illustration: _VERY CRUEL SATIRE._
_Mary (maliciously, to her Cousin on leave)._ "HENRY, DEAR! HAVE YOU
SEEN THIS ORDER ABOUT REDUCING THE OFFICERS' WHISKERS AT ALDERSHOT?
WHAT A SHAME! I'M SURE IF I WERE YOU I SHOULD RESIST IT!"
(_Haw_--HENRY _doesn't see the point._)]
[Illustration: _YOUNG NORTHAMPTONSHIRE._
_Master Harry (loq.)._ "QUICK THING, THAT! DID YOU FELLOWS SEE IT? I
GOT POUNDED!"]
[Illustration: _A DEAL._
_Novice._ "OH, YES--HE'S A FINE HORSE; BUT ISN'T HE RATHER BENT ABOUT
THE LEGS?"
_Dealer._ "BENT ABOUT THE LEGS? STANDS A LITTLE OVER, P'RAPS--BUT THAT
AIN'T NO DETTERMENT TO HIM. THE BEST OF OSSES IS SOMETIMES FOALED SO!"]
[Illustration: _STARTLING RESULT._
OLD MR. WIGGLES TRIES HIS NEW SEWING-MACHINE, AND FINDS HIS GARMENTS
THROW OUT BUTTONS IN A VERY INDISCRIMINATE MANNER.]
[Illustration: _COMFORTABLE QUARTERS._
THE HOUR BEFORE DINNER--NOT THE WORST PART OF A DAY'S HUNTING.]
[Illustration: _AN UNEXPECTED ARRIVAL._
DELIGHT OF THE HON. TOM RASPER (WHO HAS PROMISED HIMSELF A DAY WITH
THE PYTCHLEY), ON FINDING THAT THE BOX WITH HIS HUNTER HAS BEEN LEFT
AT GOWLEIGH STATION, WHILE A FINE YOUNG BULL, INTENDED FOR THAT PLACE,
HAS BEEN BROUGHT ON TO--HARBOROUGH, SHALL WE SAY?]
[Illustration: _A FACT._
_Groom._ "YE SEE, SIR! THE LADIES KNOCKS 'OSSES ABOUT SO! THEY GETS
UPON A 'OSS, SIR, AND THEY SAYS, 'MY EYES! HE'S A 'OSS, AND HE MUST
GO!'"]
[Illustration: _THE TOLL-BAR NUISANCE._
_Cabby (to impudent Boy at Gate)._ "AH! YOU ALWAYS HAVE BEEN A
SAUCY YOUNG DOG; BUT YOU'RE GOING TO BE DONE AWAY WITH, THAT'S ONE
COMFORT--AND YOU CAN'T GROW INTO A TURNPIKE _MAN_!"]
[Illustration: _LA MODE._
_Rude Boy._ "OH, IF 'ERE AIN'T A GAL BEEN AND PUT ON A DUSTMAN'S 'AT!"]
[Illustration: _EFFECT OF STOPPING THE GROG._
"COME ALONG, JACK, MY HEARTY; NOTHING LIKE LAYING UP FOR
A RAINY DAY."]
[Illustration: _FLATTERING PROPOSAL._
_Volunteer._ "I SAY, LUCY, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE VIV_AN_DIERES IN OUR
CORPS. NOW, IF YOU LIKE, I'LL APPOINT YOU TO ATTEND UPON ME!"]
[Illustration: _A SERIOUS COMPLAINT._
_Col._ "NO, SIR! YOU CAN'T HAVE FOUR IN YOUR HUT!--WHIST, INDEED!"
_Lieut._ "VERY HARD! THEN, WE MUST PLAY DUMMY!"]
[Illustration: _A GENT AT COST PRICE._]
[Illustration: _A CAPITAL FINISH._
_Excited but rather behind-hand Party._ "NOW, THEN, MY MAN, HAVE YOU
SEEN 'EM? WHICH WAY HAVE THEY GONE?"
_Man._ "ALL RIGHT, SIR. THEY'RE DOWN 'ERE; FOX AN' 'OUNDS IS JUST RUN
INTO _TH' INFANT SCHOOL_!"]
[Illustration: _OUR FOREIGN VISITORS._
WHATEVER MAY BE A FRENCHMAN'S DEFECTS, HE AT LEAST KNOWS HOW TO
DRESS--AND ISN'T THE HAT HE WEARS A SWEET THING?]
[Illustration: _AN ORDER WE HOPE TO SEE ISSUED._
"THE POLICE HAVE STRICT ORDERS TO BONNET, PUT IN A SACK, AND LOCK UP
ALL URCHINS WHO DISTURB THE PEACE OF THE METROPOLIS BY SCREAMING OUT
'DIXIES' LAND.'"]
[Illustration: _EFFECT OF SIXPENCE A MILE._
_Cabby._ "WELL! WE AIN'T ALLOWED TO _SAY_ MUCH, BUT I'M _THINKING_
A DOOSE OF A LOT!"]
[Illustration: _OCULAR DEMONSTRATION._
_Gent._ "OH, AH! AND WHAT DO YOU FEED THE HORSES ON?"
_Driver._ "BUTTER-TUBS--DON'T YER SEE THE HOOPS?"]
[Illustration: _THE CARTE DE VISITE._
_Gent (in Photographic Studio)._ "A--LOOK 'ERE, YOU KNOW, MISTER, I
DON'T WANT MY CART PUBLISHED, YOU KNOW, BUT IF ANY NICE GAL OR LADY OF
RANK SHOULD WANT A COPY, WHY, YOU CAN SELL IT HER, YOU KNOW!"]
[Illustration: _AN INCIDENT OF TRAVEL._
_Monthly Nurse._ "BUT I CAN'T FIND MY BOX, SIR!"
_Paterfamilias (furious)._ "CONFOUND YOUR BOX! YOU MUST GET IN AND
LEAVE IT, AND WE'LL TELEGRAPH FOR IT.--COME! THE TRAIN'S STARTING!"
_Monthly Nurse._ "OH YES, SIR, THAT'S ALL VERY WELL. ONLY I THOUGHT AS
MY BOX HAS GOT ALL YOUR PLATE AND LINEN IN IT," &C., &C., &C.]
[Illustration: _VERY CAREFUL._
_Economical Peer (with feeling)._ "GOOD GRACIOUS, THOMPSON! HAVEN'T
YOU MEN GOT AN UMBRELLA OUTSIDE?"
_Thompson._ "NO, MY LORD!"
_Peer._ "DEAR! DEAR! DEAR!--THEN GIVE ME THOSE NEW HATS INSIDE!"]
[Illustration: _AN X-CELLENT NOTION._
PROPOSED NEW UNIFORM FOR THE POLICE.]
[Illustration: _NOT SO BAD AS HE SEEMS._
_Country Friend (apropos of Cockney Ditto)._ "UPON MY WORD, THOMAS, IF
I THOUGHT HE HAD BEEN SO DANGEROUS, I WOULDN'T HAVE BROUGHT HIM OUT."
_Keeper._ "WELL, HE DU SHOOT A LEETLE WILD, SIR--BUT IT AIN'T O' MUCH
CONSEQUENCE--I LOAD FOR UN--AND I DON'T PUT NO SHOT IN!"]
[Illustration: _CONFIRMED BACHELOR._
_Master G. O'Rilla._ "DEAW! HOW SHOCKING! THERE'S ANOTHER GOOD FELLAH
DONE FOR!"
_Cousins._ "WHY, WHAT HAS HAPPENED, GUS?"
_Gus._ "HAPPENED! WHY, CHARLEY BAGSHOT _GONE MARRIED_!"]
[Illustration: _NOT SO EASY._
_Voices in the Wood._ "NOW THEN, GET ON IN FRONT!"]
[Illustration: _THE BEACH.--A SKETCH FOR WARM WEATHER._]
[Illustration: _WALTZING OF THE PERIOD._
THE LADY HONORIA D----, AS SHE APPEARED TAKING LEAVE OF HER MAMMA,
PREVIOUS TO GOING INTO ACTION!
THE LADY HONORIA AS SHE APPEARED WHEN THE ENGAGEMENT WAS OVER!]
[Illustration: _GOING THROUGH THE ALPHABET._
WITH A PARDONABLE VANITY, TOMKINS, WHO HAS JUST JOINED HIS RIFLE
CORPS, INVITES ARABELLA (TO WHOM HE IS ENGAGED) AND HER SISTER TO SEE
HIM DRILLED. EVERYTHING MUST HAVE A BEGINNING, AND HE IS PUT THROUGH
THE "GOOSE STEP" BEFORE THE NOT-ADMIRING EYES OF HIS DARLING!]
[Illustration: _DECIDEDLY._
_Small Swell._ "MOST 'BSURD ROW THEY'RE KICKING UP ABOUT EQUESTRIANS
IN KENSINGTON GARDENS! WHY THEY OUGHT TO BE DEUCED GLAD OF ANYTHING
THAT ADDS TO THE BEAUTY OF THE PLACE--MY 'PINION."]
[Illustration: _ANOTHER PRETTY LITTLE AMERICANISM._
_Englishman (to Fair New-Yorker)._ "MAY I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF DANCING
WITH YOU!"
_Darling._ "I GUESS YOU MAY--FOR I CALC'LATE THAT IF I SIT MUCH LONGER
HERE, _I SHALL BE TAKING ROOT_!"]
[Illustration: _THE COSTERMONGER AS HE IS._
_Coster (with hideous yell)_. "YA! HO!--CAULIFLOWERS--HO!"]
_AND_
[Illustration: _AS HE MIGHT BE._
_Coster (blandly and politely)._ "CAULIFLOWER, MA'AM. YES, MA'AM!
IS THERE ANY OTHER ARTICLE?"]
[Illustration: _THE ENGAGED ONES._
"LAW! CHARLES! ISN'T THERE A GREAT BLACK ON MY NOSE?"]
[Illustration: _A SUBJECT FOR CHARITY._
FEARFUL POSITION OF AN OLD LADY FROM THE COUNTRY, WHOM LOW IMPUDENT
LITTLE BOYS WILL TUMBLE BEFORE ALL THE WAY FROM THE STRAND TO THE
CRYSTAL PALACE.]
[Illustration: _A PRELIMINARY CANTER._
"COME, TOMPKINS, YOU'VE BEEN TITTUPPING UP AND DOWN THE PARADE FOR
THE LAST HOUR AND FORTY MINUTES. IF YOU'RE GOING OUT HUNTING, YOU HAD
BETTER GO."]
[Illustration: _BILLIARDS._
_Frank (to Captain Brother, poking him in the ribs with a cue)._ "OH,
COME, TOM, THAT WAS A FLUKE--A BEASTLY FLUKE!"
(_N.B. The Captain having scored very neatly._)]
[Illustration: _SERVANTGALISM, &c._--No. XV.
_Lady._ "INDEED, SMITH, I CANNOT BEAR THE LAUGHING AND NOISE
DOWNSTAIRS--IT IS QUITE INTOLERABLE!"
_Cook._ "WELL, MAM! SOMETHING MUST BE DONE TO DEADEN THE SOUND; FOR
THE NOISE UP-STAIRS IS EQUALLY ANNOYING TO HUS!"]
[Illustration: _GROUNDLESS ALARM._
_Stout Equestrian._ "DO YOU KNOW, LOVE, I'M RATHER SORRY I GOT THIS
HAT; FOR SUPPOSE I SHOULD BE TAKEN FOR A PRETTY HORSEBREAKER!"]
[Illustration: _FLY-FISHING._
_Piscator._ "NOW THEN! I THINK I SHALL GET A _RISE_ HERE!"]
[Illustration: _AWFUL APPARITION!_
_Mrs. T. (to T., who has been reading the popular novel)._ "PRAY, MR.
TOMKINS, ARE YOU NEVER COMING UP-STAIRS? HOW MUCH LONGER ARE YOU GOING
TO SIT UP WITH THAT 'WOMAN IN WHITE'?"]
[Illustration: _PHILOSOPHY IN SPORT._
_Noble Swell (in scarlet)._ "HARK! BY JOVE, THAT'S A FIND!"
_Party (in black)._ "'COURSE IT IS, MY LORD! JUST THE WAY WITH THEM
'OUNDS. DRAW--DRAW--DRAW--ALL THE MORNING, AND THEN DROP ON A FOX JUST
AS VUN'S 'AVIN' VUN'S LUNCH!"]
[Illustration: _EFFECTS OF THE WEATHER ON A SENSITIVE PLANT._--No. I.
YOUNG NIMROD AS HE APPEARED BEFORE THE FROST--PERFECTLY DISENGAGED!]
[Illustration: No. II.
YOUNG DITTO, AFTER FOUR WEEKS' FROST IN A COUNTRY HOUSE--MOST
PARTICULARLY ENGAGED!]
[Illustration: _A LITTLE FAMILY BREEZE._
_Mrs. T._ "WHAT A WRETCH YOU MUST BE, T.! WHY DON'T YOU TAKE ME OFF?
DON'T YOU SEE I'M OVERTOOK WITH THE TIDE, AND I SHALL BE DROWNDED!"
_T._ "WELL, THEN--WILL YOU PROMISE NOT TO KICK UP SUCH A ROW WHEN I
STOP OUT LATE OF A SATURDAY?"]
[Illustration: _INFLUENCE OF THE RAILWAY ON THE RHINE._
_Emily._ "DO LOOK HERE, ARTHUR DEAR--SUCH A LOVELY VIEW, AND SOME MORE
SUCH BEAUTIFUL CASTLES!" (_Arthur gives a prolonged grunt and snore._)]
[Illustration: _A MAN OF IDEAS._
_Augustus._ "HAW! NEAT STYLE OF COB THAT, CHARLES!"
_Charles._ "YAAS! SEVERE AIN'T IT? YOU SEE I'M WEADING FOR
EXAMINATION. A'VE GOT A DOOCED GOOD COACH, AND WITH CLASSICAL PONY
THINK A SHALL PULL THROUGH!"]
[Illustration: _PRACTISING FOR A MATCH._
_Leonora._ "DEAR, DEAR! HOW THE ARROW STICKS!"
_Captain Blank (with a sigh of the deepest)._ "IT DOES, INDEED!"]
[Illustration: _HAIR-DRESSING NOW-A-DAYS._
_Lady (looking at her watch)._ "DEAR ME, I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS SO
LATE. I THINK, PERHAPS, PARKER, YOU HAD BETTER GO AND DRESS THE YOUNG
LADIES' HAIR."
_Parker._ "OH, MAM, I DID THAT THIS MORNING, AND IT'S ON THE
DRESSING-TABLE READY TO BE PINNED ON!"]
[Illustration: _FEMININE RIVALRY._
_Hard-riding Young Lady._ "CUT MISS GEORGINA DOWN THAT TIME, I FANCY,
AND HAVE GOT INTO THE SAME FIELD WITH GUS!"]
[Illustration: _FITTING HOSPITALITY._
LITTLE TOM NODDY, WHO IS STILL FOND OF HUNTING, HAS A DAY WITH HIS
FRIEND HOLLYOAK, WHO NOT ONLY MOUNTS HIM, BUT RIGS HIM UP IN A SUIT OF
CLOTHES THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN MADE FOR HIM.]
[Illustration: _A DUET UNDER DIFFICULTIES._
_Emily (sotto voce)._ "MY GOODNESS, EDITH, WHAT SHALL I DO?--MY NOSE
ITCHES SO DREADFULLY, AND WE ARE COMING TO THE MOST DIFFICULT PART."]
[Illustration: _A FLAGRANT ATTEMPT._
JONES PREPARES A LITTLE SURPRISE FOR HIS MARY ANN, AND HAS HIS
EQUESTRIAN PORTRAIT TAKEN. HE REMARKS, "'ANG IT, YOU KNOW, IF I DO
HAVE MY CARTE DONE, I DON'T SEE WHY I SHOULDN'T 'AVE MY 'ORSE!"]
[Illustration: _USEFUL AT LAST._
THE MODERN GOVERNESS.--A YOUNG LADY'S IDEA OF THE USE OF CRINOLINE.]
[Illustration: _VERY MUCH ALIVE._
DISCOMFITURE OF OLD MR. J--N--S, WHO, ON VISITING A PRIVATE
COLLECTION, MISTAKES "PETER," THE GREAT HORNED OWL, FOR A STUFFED
CAT.]
[Illustration: _PROGRESS OF CIVILISATION._
_Ramoneur on Donkey._ "FITCH US OUT ANOTHER PEN'NORTH O' STRAWBERRY
ICE, WITH A DOLLOP OF LEMON WATER IN IT."]
[Illustration: _WHAT NEXT?_
THE LATEST IMPROVEMENT(?) IN GUARDS' CAPS.]
[Illustration: _A LIKELY BAIT_.
_Piscator_. "OHO! THIS IS THE PLACE WHERE THE BIG TROUT ARE, IS IT?
THEN THIS IS THE SORT OF _FLY_, I THINK!"]
[Illustration: _NOTHING LIKE DOING IT THOROUGHLY._
_Mrs. Buncher Greens._ "DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT GOING TO HEPSOM; IT
AIN'T A FIT PLACE FOR FEMALES. GIVE ME HASCOT, IN YER OWN CARRIDGE."
_Mr. B. G._ "WELL, I TELL YER WHAT IT IS, SARER--YOU MUST TRIM THE
BARRER A BIT, OR YOU'LL NEVER BE IN TIME FOR THE CUP!"]
[Illustration: _YET ANOTHER AMERICANISM._
"HERE, MARIA, HOLD MY CLOAK WHILE I HAVE A FLING WITH STRANGER!"]
[Illustration: "_OH, THAT I WERE IN THAT BALCONY!_"
WISH EXPRESSED BY LITTLE TOM TIT, AS HE WALKED IN THE TIGHTEST OF
BOOTS, ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE STREET.]
[Illustration]
[Illustration: _TO BE PITIED._
_Youth._ "WHAT! NO SMOKING CARRIAGE! WHY, WHAT'S A FELLAH TO DO FOR
THREE HOURS?"]
[Illustration: _ACROSS COUNTRY._
_Papa._ "LUCY! HERE! HERE'S A GATE!"
_Lucy._ "ALL RIGHT, PAPA, DEAR. YOU GO THROUGH THE GATE, I THINK
'CRUSADER' PREFERS THE FENCE."]
[Illustration: _HOW TO CLEAR A CARRIAGE FOR A CIGAR._
_Ferocious Looking Passenger (to Old Gent, who objects to Smoking)._
"THAT'S A PRETTY KNIFE; AIN'T IT? THAT'S THE SORT O' THING WE USE IN
CALIFORNIA! JOLLY THING TO STICK INTO A FELLOW, EH?" (OLD GENT _fears
his Companion is not "quite right," and changes his Carriage at the
next Station_.)]
[Illustration: _SOME MORE FOREIGN VISITORS._
WHO CAN THEY BE? CAN THEY BE "MOSSOOS" GOING TO MAKE A PROMENADE TO
RICHMOND!]
[Illustration: _THE VERY THING._
_Dealer (to Nervous Rider)._ "QUIET! THERE NOW! HE'S A COB AS YOU MAY
JUST CHUCK YER LEG OVER, AND SPRING A RATTLE, OR FIRE OFF PISTOLS BY
THE HOUR TOGETHER, AND HE WON'T TAKE NO NOTICE!"]
[Illustration: _HOLIDAYS AT HOME._
GRAND NURSERY STEEPLE-CHACE.--_Steward, Clerk of the Course, &c.,
&c._, MASTER TOM.]
[Illustration: _SOMETHING LIKE AN INDUCEMENT._
OUR FRIEND, GRIGGS, RECEIVES A PRESSING INVITATION TO COME OVER AGAIN
TO IRELAND DURING THE HUNTING SEASON, AND HAVE A WEEK WITH THE GALWAY
BLAZERS!
(MR. B. _says he should like it extremely, as he has never ridden in a
stone-wall country_.)]
[Illustration: _DUST HO! THE LONG DRESS NUISANCE._
(WE CAN ASSURE THE DARLINGS IT BY NO MEANS IMPROVES THEIR DEAR LITTLE
ANKLES.)]
[Illustration: _THE VULPECIDE.--BASE INDEED!_
_Fox-Hunter._ "THERE, DO YOU SEE THAT FELLOW?--WELL! TO MY CERTAIN
KNOWLEDGE, HE HAS DESTROYED TWO FOXES--AND YET HE WALKS ABOUT WITH A
HYMN-BOOK UNDER HIS ARM!"]
[Illustration: _A STEEPLE-CHACE STUDY._
_Ossy and very talkative Party (who is not going to ride, however)._
"CALL THAT A FENCE! WHY, ME AND MY LITTLE PONY WOULD 'OP OVER IT LIKE
A BIRD!"]
[Illustration: _A LITTLE RAILWAY DRAMA._
(_Passenger in Train, who naturally objects to having a nasty,
odoriferous, useless pet dog in the carriage, suggests to the Guard
that the animal should be put in the Van._)
_Stupid Old Lady (dashing out of the carriage)._ "DID IT, THEN, A
DARLING! A PRETTY SWEET!--DID IT GET INTO A CARRIAGE WITH A BREE-UTE?"]
[Illustration: _A WATERING-PLACE PLEASURE._
THIS IS THE EIGHTEENTH OLD FISH-FAG WHO HAS SCREAMED AND SHRIEKED, BUT
BY NO MEANS THE LAST WHO WILL SHRIEK AND SCREAM, UNDER POOR OLD MR.
TOMKINS'S WINDOW.]
[Illustration: _SOAP-BUBBLES!_]
[Illustration: _ADVICE GRATIS._
_Young Hopeful (to Old Indian, whose digestion isn't first-rate)._ "I
TELL YOU WHAT, UNCLE, I'D RECOMMEND YOU TO GO WITH ME ACROSS COUNTRY
THREE TIMES A WEEK. IT WOULD SOON PUT YOU TO-RIGHTS!"]
[Illustration: _A KNOWING ANIMAL._
"THE CHESTNUT HAS SURELY BOLTED, JOE?"
"AY! AY! SIR, HE B'LONGED TO A COSSACK IN THE CRIMEA, AND THERE AIN'T
NO HOLDING OF HIM WITH BRITISH CAVALRY IN HIS REAR."]
[Illustration: _A MAN OF DISCRIMINATION._
_First Juvenile._ "MY WORD, FRED! ISN'T BESSIE TRAVERS A STUNNING
GIRL?"
_Second Ditto._ "WELL, FOR MY PART, I DON'T CARE MUCH ABOUT CHITS. NOW
THE MOTHER'S A FINE WOMAN, IF YOU LIKE. SHE'S MORE IN MY WAY!"]
[Illustration: _A VISIT TO THE STUDIO._
_Mr. Ochre (through whose frame a thrill of horror is supposed to be
passing)._ "UGH! MIND WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT, CHARLEY. MIND MY OPHELIA;
MIND MY OPHELIA! YOU'LL KNOCK HER OVER, AND SPOIL ALL HER FOLDS!"]
[Illustration: _A PRETTY EXHIBITION NEAR BROMPTON._
THIS IS THE WAY THOSE POOR YOUNG SWELLS, HIPPS AND FIPPS, ARE OBLIGED
TO GO OUT TO DINNER, IN CONSEQUENCE OF THE SCARCITY OF THE CABS.]
[Illustration: _AN OBJECT OF ATTRACTION._
_First Elegant Creature._ "A--DON'T YOU DANCE, CHARLES!"
_Second Ditto, Ditto._ "A--NO--NOT AT PWESENT! I ALWAYS LET THE GIRLS
LOOK AND LONG FOR ME FIRST!"]
[Illustration: _A CHIP OF THE OLD BLOCK._
_Grandpapa._ "BLESS HIS HEART--JUST LIKE ME!--SPARE THE
_NIM_ROD--SPOIL THE CHILD, I SAY."]
[Illustration: _POOR COUSIN CHARLES!_
_Juvenile._ "WHY DO THEY CALL THOSE THINGS COUSIN CHARLES SMOKES
CIGARETTES? EH, POLLY?"
_Polly._ "WELL, DEAR; BECAUSE THEY ARE LITTLE CIGARS, I SUPPOSE!"
_Juvenile._ "OH THEN, WOULD COUSIN CHARLES BE CALLED A CAPTAINETTE,
BECAUSE HE'S A LITTLE CAPTAIN?"
(JONES, _who is a Volunteer, but is six feet high, twirls his
moustachios with mild complacency._)]
[Illustration: _THE BALL._
HARRY BULLFINCHER, WHO IS EVER SO MUCH BETTER ACROSS COUNTRY THAN
WHEN HE MIXES IN THE MERRY DANCE (ESPECIALLY AFTER SUPPER) HAS COME
TO GRIEF OVER A STOOL DURING A POLKA, AND IS SHOUTING FOR SOME ONE TO
"_CATCH HIS HORSE!_"]
[Illustration: _THE PLEASURES OF THE COUNTRY._
_Enthusiastic Nimrod._ "THERE'S ANOTHER THING TOO ABOUT FOX-HUNTING
WHICH I ALWAYS THINK DELIGHTFUL--YOU COME UPON SUCH PICTURESQUE NOOKS
AND CORNERS. NOW, WHO WOULD EVER THINK OF COMING OUT HERE FOR A _MERE
WALK_!"]
[Illustration: _PREPARED FOR GAROTTERS._
GOING OUT TO TEA IN THE SUBURBS.--A PRETTY STATE OF THINGS.]
[Illustration: _SNOOKS HAS JOINED A RIFLE CORPS._
_Snooks._ "SPLENDID CREECHUR--AIN'T HE? BLESS YOU, HE'S A PERFECT
BROKE CHARGER. WAS IN THE HORSE GUARDS ONCE. YOU SHOULD SEE HIM IN HIS
ACCOUTREMENTS. _GOES IN HARNESS TOO, I BELIEVE!_"]
[Illustration: _FELLOW MARTYRS._
OLD MR. SQUEAMISH, WHO HAS BEEN ON DECK FOR HIS WRAPPER, FINDS HIS
COMFORTABLE PLACE OCCUPIED BY A HAIRY MOSSOO!]
[Illustration: _A SCHOOL FOR OLD GENTLEMEN._]
[Illustration: _CRUEL JOKE AT A FÊTE._
_Horrid Boy (to his Cousin)._ "I SAY, ROSE! WASN'T THAT MAJOR DE VERE
WHO JUST LEFT YOU?"
_Rose._ "YES!"
_Horrid Boy._ "AH, THEN, I THINK HE MIGHT AS WELL HAVE TOLD YOU WHAT A
TREMENDOUS BLACK SMUDGE YOU'VE GOT ON YOUR NOSE!"
(_N.B.--Of course there is no smudge; but there's no looking-glass
within miles for poor Rose to satisfy herself._)]
[Illustration: _VIVE LE SPORT AGAIN!_
_Distinguished Foreigner (who does not comprehend why a frost should
stop Hounds.)_ "AHA! NO HONT ZIS MORNING--MON DIEU!--ZEN ZERE IS NO
_DOG'S MEET_ TO-DAY!"]
[Illustration: _THE SENSATION NOVEL._
_Clara._ "YES, DEAR, I'VE GOT THE LAST ONE DOWN, AND IT'S PERFECTLY
DELICIOUS. A MAN MARRIES HIS GRANDMOTHER--FOURTEEN PERSONS
ARE POISONED BY A YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL GIRL--FORGERIES BY THE
DOZEN--ROBBERIES, HANGINGS; IN FACT, FULL OF DELIGHTFUL HORRORS!"]
[Illustration: _FIRST BEGINNINGS._]
[Illustration: _TAKING IT MANFULLY._
_Keeper._ "STOP A BIT, MESTER REGINALD, AND I'LL LIFT ONE ON 'EM UP!"
_Mester Reginald._ "NOW YOU JUST LET THEM ALONE, I'M COMING OVER!"]
[Illustration: _RATHER KEEN._
"OUT AGAIN, JACK?"
"YES! I ALWAYS LIKE TO GET AS MUCH HUNTING AS I CAN BEFORE
CHRISTMAS--THE WEATHER IS SO NICE AND OPEN!"]
[Illustration: _A FROLIC HOME AFTER A BLANK DAY._]
[Illustration: _HOW WOULD IT BE WITHOUT CRINOLINE?--TRY IT._]
[Illustration: _AFTER SUPPER.--STRANGE ADMISSION!_
_Mr. S._ "MAY I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF WALTZING WITH YOU, MISS JONES?"
_Miss J._ "I WOULD WITH PLEASURE, _BUT UNFORTUNATELY I'M QUITE FULL_!"]
[Illustration: _PREVENTION IS BETTER THAN CURE._
_Old Lady._ "BUT, GOING IN FOUR-WHEEL CABS! I'M SO AFRAID OF
SMALL-POX!"
_Cabby._ "YOU'VE NO CALL TO BE AFEARED O' MY CAB, MUM, FOR I'VE 'AD
THE HIND WHEEL WACCINATED, AND IT TOOK BEAUTIFUL."]
[Illustration: _A FLUNKEY IN TROUBLE._
_John Thomas._ "HOLLO! COACHMAN! MR. BLINKERS! STOP! HERE'S A
COSTERMONGER'S DONKEY GOT HOLD OF MY LEG, AND PULLING THE HAY OUT THAT
I'VE PUT IN FOR CALVES!"]
[Illustration: _ALL THE DIFFERENCE._
_Sporting Enthusiast (who has with difficulty caught the Hounds)._
"WHAT THE DEUCE ARE YOU HOLLOAING AT--DON'T YOU SEE IT'S A FRESH FOX?"
_Whip._ "SHOULD THINK IT WAS; WE'VE BROKE UP T'OTHER THIS QUARTER OF
AN HOUR!"]
[Illustration: _LONDON HIGHLANDERS._
NOW WE DARE SAY YOU WONDER WHAT THE DEUCE THIS MEANS. THE FACT IS,
THAT SMITH AND TOMKINS HAVE GOT A PLACE IN SCOTLAND THIS YEAR, AND
THEY ARE DOING ALL THEY POSSIBLY CAN TO ACCUSTOM THEMSELVES TO DIZZY
MOUNTAIN HEIGHTS, AND TO GET THEIR FACES AND LEGS THE PROPER TONE FOR
THE NORTH.]
[Illustration: _A HYGIENIC PLEASURE._
THE NEW AND DELIGHTFUL METHOD OF BRUSHING THE HAIR WITH MACHINERY.]
[Illustration: _AFTER DUNDREARY._
_First Swell._ "A-A-WAW! WAW! WAW! HOW DID YOU LIKE HIM?"
_Second Do._ "WAW-WAW-WAW.--NO FELLAW EVAW SAW SUCH A FELLAW. GWOSS
CAWICATURE-WAW!"]
[Illustration: _REAL INDEPENDENCE._
_Housemaid._ "JAMES! DON'T YOU HEAR YOUR LIBERY BELL A-RINGING?"
_James._ "BOTHER THE LIBERY BELL! I AIN'T GOING TO ANSWER NO LIBERY
BELLS--IT'S MY SUNDAY OUT, AND I'M AT CHURCH!"]
[Illustration: _MAKING IT INTELLIGIBLE._
_Elderly Lady._ "BUT I MUST REALLY BEG THAT YOU WILL TELL ME YOUR
FARE. I CANNOT BE SUPPOSED TO KNOW YOUR BUSINESS!"
_Cabby._ "WELL, MUM--I DON'T THINK WE SHALL FALL HOUT. LET'S SAY,
THREE BOB AND A KICK!"]
[Illustration: _AT A RIFLE COMPETEE-TION IN THE NORTH._
_First Volunteer (to Second Volunteer on the Barrel)._ "MAY I TROUBLE
YE TO MOVE FOR A BIT, FOR YE'RE JUST SITTING ON THE AMUNEE-TION!"]
[Illustration: _FORCE OF HABIT.--(FOR FAMILY PEOPLE ONLY.)_
ADOLPHUS, GEORGE, AND LOUISA, ARE PLAYING IN KENSINGTON GARDENS--TO
THEM THE FAMILY DOCTOR UNEXPECTEDLY. A. AND G. AND L. GO THROUGH THE
EXPRESSIVE PANTOMIME OF PUTTING OUT THEIR TONGUES AS A MATTER OF
COURSE.]
[Illustration: _CUB-HUNTING._
WILKINSON WONDERS WHY THE DOOCE THEY CAN'T GO OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE
DAY.]
[Illustration: _AN INTERESTING QUESTION._
_Young Swell (who has just received promise of a Commission in a
Highland Regiment)._ "NOW, GIRLS, WILL THE KILT SUIT MY CALVES?"
_Sisters (tittering)._ "REALLY, DEAR, YOU ARE TOO ABSURD!"]
[Illustration: _WHAT WE COULD BEAR A GOOD DEAL OF!_]
[Illustration: _"LOVE'S COURSE NEVER DID," YOU KNOW._
IT WAS VERY UNPLEASANT! BUT WHAT JENKYNNES HAD TO SAY TO HIS FLORA,
WAS SAID UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES.]
[Illustration: _FLUNKEIANA._
_John Thomas Gorgeous._ "I TELL YOU WHAT IT IS, COOK! I'M A'MOST WORE
OUT WITH THEM LEGS O' MUTTON AND LEGS O' PORK, AND I THINK IT'S 'IGH
TIME SOME NEW HANIMAL WAS INWENTED!"]
[Illustration: _JUMPING TO A CONCLUSION_
_Inquiring Youth._ "PLEASE, MAMMA, WHY IS UNCLE'S HORSE CALLED A COB?"
_Mamma._ "OH, MY DEAR! BECAUSE--BECAUSE--WHY BECAUSE HE HAS A THICK
BODY AND SHORT LEGS!"
_Inquiring Youth._ "WHAT, LIKE YOU, MAMMA?"]
[Illustration: _THE CHANNEL PASSAGE._
MOSSOO AS HE APPEARED WHEN VIEWED THROUGH A TELESCOPE.]