_From his first beginning to preach to the Indians at
Crosweeksung, till he returned from his last journey to
Susquahannah._
[WE are now come to that part of Mr. Brainerd’s life, wherein he
had his greatest _success_. After all his agonizing in prayer, and
travelling in birth, for the conversion of the Indians; and after
waiting in a way of persevering prayer, labour, and suffering, as
it were through a long _night_; at length the _day_ dawns: “Weeping
continues for a night, but joy comes in the morning. He went forth
weeping, bearing precious seed, and now he comes with rejoicing,
bringing his sheaves with him.” The desired event is brought to pass
at last; but at a time, and in a place, that scarce ever entered into
his heart. An account of this is here inserted, as it was drawn up by
Mr. Brainerd himself, pursuant to the order of the honourable society
in Scotland.]
Wednesday, June 19. Having spent most of my time for more than a
year past among the Indians in the Forks of Delaware in Pensylvania;
and having in that time made two journeys to Susquahannah river,
far back in that province, in order to treat with the Indians there,
respecting Christianity; and not having had any considerable success
in either of those places; upon hearing that there was a number of
Indians in a place called (by the Indians) Crosweeksung in New-Jersey,
near fourscore miles south-eastward from the Forks of Delaware, I
determined to make them a visit, and see what might be done towards the
Christianizing of them; and accordingly arrived among them this day.
I found very few persons at the place I visited, and perceived the
Indians in these parts were much scattered, there being not more than
two or three families in a place, and these small settlements, six, ten,
fifteen, twenty, and thirty miles, and some more, from the place I was
then at. However, I preached to those few who appeared well-disposed,
and, not inclined to cavil, as the Indians had frequently done
elsewhere.
When I had concluded my discourse, I informed them (there being none
but a few women and children) that I would willingly visit them again
the next day. Whereupon they readily set out, and travelled ten or
fifteen miles, in order to give notice to some of their friends at that
distance. These women, like the woman of Samaria, seemed desirous that
others might “see the man that told them, what they had done” in their
lives past, and the misery that attended their _idolatrous_ ways.
Thursday, June 20. Towards night, I preached to the Indians again;
and had more hearers than before. In the evening, I enjoyed peace and
serenity of mind, composure and comfort in prayer; and was enabled
to lift up my head with joy, under an apprehension that my redemption
draws nigh. Oh, blessed be God, that there remains a rest to his poor
weary people!
Friday, June 21. I was refreshed in secret prayer; but saw myself a
poor worthless creature, without wisdom to direct, or strength to help
myself. Blessed be God, that lays me under a happy necessity of living
upon himself!
Saturday, June 22. About noon, I rode to the Indians again; and
near night preached to about thirty of them. I found my body much
strengthened, and was enabled to speak with abundant plainness and
warmth. And the power of God evidently attended the word; so that
sundry persons were brought under great concern for their souls, and
made to shed many tears, and to wish for Christ to save them. My soul
was much refreshed, and quickened in my work; and I could not but spend
much time with them, in order to open both their misery and remedy.
While riding, before I came to the Indians, I was enabled to cry to
God almost incessantly. In the evening also I found the consolations
of God were not small: I was then willing to live, and in some respects
desirous of it, that I might do something for the kingdom of Christ;
and yet death appeared pleasant: so that, I was in a strait between two.
I am often weary of this world; but it is desirable to be drawn, rather
than driven out of it.
Lord’s day, June 23. I preached to the Indians and spent the day with
them.――――Their number still increased; and all with one consent seemed
to rejoice in my coming among them. Not a word of opposition was heard
from any, although in times past they had been quite opposite to any
thing of that nature.
June 24. I preached to the Indians at their desire, and upon their own
motion. To see poor Pagans desirous of hearing the gospel of Christ,
animated me to discourse to them, although I was very weak, and my
spirits much exhausted. They attended with the greatest seriousness and
diligence; and there was some concern apparent among them.
June 27. I visited and preached to the Indians again. Their number
now amounted to about _forty_ persons. Their solemn attention still
continued; and a considerable concern for their souls was apparent
among sundry of them.
Friday June 28. The Indians being now gathered, a considerable number
of them, from their several distant _habitations_, requested me to
preach twice a day to them, being desirous to hear as much as they
could while I was with them. I chearfully complied, and could not but
admire the goodness of God, who had inclined them to enquire after the
way of salvation.
Saturday, June 29. I preached twice to the Indians; and could
not but wonder at their seriousness, and the strictness of their
attention.――Blessed be God that has inclined their hearts to hear.
And O how refreshing it is to me, to see them attend with such uncommon
diligence and affection.
I likewise saw the hand of God making provision for their subsistence
together, in order to their being instructed. For this day and the
day before, with only walking a little way from the place of our daily
meeting, they killed _three deer_, which were a seasonable supply for
their wants, and without which, they could not have subsisted together
in order to attend the means of grace.
Lord’s-day, June 30. I preached twice this day also, and observed more
concern and affection among the poor Heathens than ever; so that they
even constrained me to tarry longer with them; although my constitution
was much impaired by the late fatigues and labours, and especially by
my late journey to Susquahannah.
July 1. I preached again twice to a very serious and attentive assembly,
who had now learned to attend the worship of God with _Christian
decency_.
There were now between _forty_ and _fifty_ persons of them present, old
and young.
I spent some time in discoursing with them in private, enquiring what
they remembered of the great truths that had been taught them. It was
amazing to see how they had retained the instructions given them, and
what knowledge some of them had acquired in a few days.
July 2. I was obliged to leave these Indians at Crosweeksung, thinking
it my duty, as soon as health would admit, to visit those at the Forks
of Delaware. When I came to take leave of them, they all earnestly
enquired when I would come again, and expressed a great desire of being
farther instructed: and of their own accord agreed, that when I should
come again, they would all meet and live together during my continuance
with them; and that they would do their utmost endeavours to gather all
the other Indians in these parts that were farther remote. And when I
parted, one told me with many tears, “She wished God would change her
heart,” another, that “She wanted to find Christ:” and an old man that
had been one of their _chiefs_, wept bitterly. I then promised them to
return as speedily as my health and business would admit, and felt not
a little concerned at parting, least good impressions might wear off.
Afterwards I rode to Brunswick, near forty miles, and lodged there. I
felt my heart drawn out after God in prayer almost all the afternoon:
and in the evening could not help crying to God for these poor Indians;
and after I went to bed, my heart continued to go out to God for them,
till I dropped asleep.
[He was now so beat out by constant preaching, that he found it
necessary to give himself some relaxation. He spent therefore about
a week in New-Jersey, visiting several ministers, and performing some
necessary business. On Friday, July 12. He arrived at his own house in
the Forks of Delaware; continuing still free from melancholy and from
day to day enjoying freedom and refreshment.]
Lord’s-day, July 14. I discoursed to the Indians twice, several of whom
appeared convinced of their sin and misery; so that they wept much the
whole time of divine service.
Thursday, July 18. I longed to spend the little inch of time I have
in the world for God: Felt a spirit of seriousness, tenderness, and
devotion, and wished to spend the whole night in prayer and communion
with God.
Friday, July 19. In the evening I walked abroad for prayer and
meditation, and enjoyed composure and freedom especially, in meditation
on Revelation iii. 12. “Him that overcometh, will I make a pillar
in the temple of my God.” Oh, when shall I _go no more out_ from the
service and enjoyment of the dear Lord! Lord, hasten the blessed day.
Lord’s-day, July 21. I preached to the Indians first, then to a number
of white people, and in the afternoon to the Indians again.――Divine
truths seemed to make very considerable impressions upon several of
them and caused tears to flow freely.
Afterwards I baptized my interpreter and his wife, the first I baptized
among the Indians.
They are both persons of some _experimental_ knowledge in religion;
have both been awakened to a solemn concern for their souls and brought
to a sense of their misery and undoneness; and have both been comforted
with divine consolations.
It may perhaps be satisfactory that I should give some relation of his
experience since he has been with me.
When I first employed him in the beginning of summer 1744, he was well
fitted for his work in regard of his acquaintance with the Indian and
English language; and in regard of his desire that the Indians should
conform to the customs and manners of the English. But he seemed to
have no impression of religion, and in that respect was very _unfit_
for his work, being uncapable of understanding and communicating
to others many things of importance; so that I laboured under great
disadvantages in addressing the Indians, for want of his having an
experimental acquaintance with divine truths; and, at times I was
much discouraged, when I observed that divine truths made little or
no impression upon him for many _weeks_ together.
He indeed behaved soberly, (although before he had been a hard drinker)
and seemed honestly engaged as far he was capable in the performance of
his work, and especially he was very desirous that the Indians should
conform to the customs of the Christian world. But still seemed to have
no concern about his own soul.
Near the latter end of July 1744, I preached to an assembly of white
people, with freedom and fervency: at which time he was present, and
was somewhat awakened; so that the next day he discoursed freely with
me and gave me an opportunity to fasten the impressions upon his mind:
and I could plainly perceive after this, that he addressed the Indians
with more concern and fervency.
But these impressions seemed to decline, till in the fall of the year
following he fell into a weak state of body. At this season divine
truth took hold of him and made deep impressions upon his mind. He was
under great concern for his soul, and was burdened from day to day.
At length his sleep departed from him, and he had little rest day or
night; but walked about under great pressure of mind, and appeared like
another man to his neighbours who could not but observe his behaviour
with wonder.
After he had been sometime striving for mercy, he says, there seemed to
be an impassable mountain before him. He was pressing towards heaven,
but “his way was hedged up with thorns, that he could not stir an inch
farther.” He looked this way and that way, but could find no way at all.
He felt it signified just nothing at all to strive and struggle any
more. And here he says, he gave over striving, and felt that it was a
gone case with him, and that all his attempts were, and for ever would
be vain and fruitless.
He knew, he said, he was not guilty of such actions as others were
guilty of. He had not been used to steal, quarrel, and murder; which is
common among the Indians. He likewise knew that he had done many things
that were right. But still his cry was, “that he had never done one
good thing,” (meaning that he had never done any thing from a right
_principle_, though he had done many things that were _materially_
good.) And now I thought, said he, that I must sink down to hell, that
there was no hope for me, “because I never could do any thing that was
good;” and if God let me alone never so long, still I should do nothing
but what is bad.
There was one thing more in his view of things that was very remarkable.
He not only saw, what a miserable state he himself was in, but he saw
the world around him were in the same perishing circumstances. And this
he saw clearly, “as if he was now awaked out of sleep, or had a cloud
taken from before his eyes.” He saw that the life he had lived was the
way to eternal death, that he was now on the brink of endless misery:
and when he looked round he saw multitudes of others who had lived the
same life with himself, had no more goodness than he, and yet dreamed
that they were safe enough, as he had formerly done.
*After he had been some time in this condition, sensible of the
impossibility of helping himself; he says, it was borne in upon his
mind as if it had been audibly spoken, “There is hope, there is hope.”
Whereupon his soul seemed to be in some measure satisfied, though he
had no considerable joy; neither can he remember distinctly any views
he had of Christ, or give any clear account of his acceptance through
him.
But this was followed by a great change, so that it might justly be
said, he was become _another man_. Even the world could not but admire
what had befallen him, to make so great a change in his temper,
discourse, and behaviour.―――
And especially there was a surprising alteration in his public
performances. He now addressed the Indians with admirable fervency, and
scarce knew when to leave off: and sometimes when I had concluded my
discourse, and was returning homeward, he would tarry behind to repeat
and inculcate what had been spoken.
His change is _abiding_, and his life _unblemished_ to this day, though
it is now more than six months since he experienced it; in which space
he has been as much exposed to _strong drink_, as possible, in divers
places; and yet has never discovered any desire after it.
*And upon strict observation of his Christian temper, and unblemished
behaviour for so considerable a time, I think I have reason to hope
that he is “created anew in Christ Jesus to good works.”
His name is Moses Tinda Tautamy; he is about fifty years of age, and
pretty well acquainted with the notions and customs of his countrymen,
and so is the better able to expose them. He has already been, and I
trust will yet be a blessing to other Indians.
Friday, July 26. In the evening, God was pleased to help me in
prayer, beyond what I have experienced for some time; especially
for the conversion of my poor people: my soul relied on God for the
accomplishment of that great work. Oh, how sweet were the thoughts
of death to me at this time! How I longed to be with Christ, to be
employed in the glorious work of angels, and with an angel’s freedom,
vigour, and delight! And yet how willing was I to stay awhile on earth,
that I might do something, if the Lord pleased for his interest. My
soul longed for the ingathering of the poor Heathen; and I cried to God
for them most willingly and heartily. This was a sweet season; I had
a lively taste of heaven, and a temper suited in some measure to the
entertainment of it. My soul was grieved to leave the place; but my
body was weak and worn out. I longed that the remaining part of my life
might be filled up with more fervency and activity in the things of
God! Oh the inward peace, composure, and God-like serenity of such a
frame! Heaven must needs differ from this only in degree, and not in
kind.
Lord’s-day, July 28. I preached again, and perceived my people more
thoughtful than ever. I was told by some, that seeing my interpreter
and his wife baptized made them more concerned than any thing they
had ever seen or heard. There was indeed a considerable appearance of
divine power among them at the time.
July 30. I discoursed to a number of my people, and gave them
particular advice, being about to leave them for the present, in
order to visit the Indians in New-Jersey. They were very attentive,
and earnestly desirous to know when I designed to return.
[On Wednesday, July 31. He set out on his return to Crosweeksung, and
arrived there the next day. In his way he had longing desires that he
might come to the Indians in the “fulness of the blessing of the gospel
of Christ;” attended with a sense of his own great weakness, dependence
and worthlessness.]
Friday, August 2. In the evening I retired, and my soul was drawn out
in prayer to God; especially for my poor people, to whom I had sent
word to gather together, that I might preach to them the next day.
I was much enlarged in praying for their conversion; and scarce ever
found my desires of it so sensibly and clearly free from selfish views.
I had no desire to be the instrument of so glorious a work; if it might
be accomplished to the honour of God, this was all my care; and for
this I hoped, but with trembling. My rising hopes, have been so often
dashed, that my spirit is broken, and I hardly dare hope.
Saturday, August 3. I now found them serious, and a number of them
under deep concern for an interest in Christ: their convictions of
their sinful and perishing state having, in my absence been much
promoted by the labours of Mr. William Tennent, to whom I advised them
to apply, and whose house they had frequented much.――I preached to them
this day on Revelation xxii. 17. “And whosoever will, let him take the
water of life freely.”
The Lord enabled me to set before them the Lord Jesus Christ as a kind
and compassionate Saviour, inviting distressed and perishing sinners
to accept everlasting mercy. And a surprising concern soon appeared
among them. There were about twenty adult persons together, (many of
the Indians at remote places, not having as yet had time to come since
my return.) and not above two that I could see with dry eyes. Some
discovered vehement longings after Christ, to save them from the misery
they felt and feared.
Lord’s-day, August 4. Being invited by a neighbouring minister to
assist in the administration of the Lord’s-supper, I complied with his
request, and took the Indians along with me; not only those that were
together the day before, but many more that were coming to hear me; so
that there were near fifty in all.
_Now_ a change in their manners began to appear. In the evening when
they came to sup together, they would not taste a morsel till they
had sent to me to come and ask a blessing on their food; at which time
sundry of them wept, especially when I minded them how they had in
times past eat their feasts in _honour_ to _devils_, and neglected to
thank God for them.
August 5. After a sermon had been preached by another minister, I
preached, and concluded the public work of the solemnity from John
vii. 37. In my discourse I addressed the Indians in particular, who
sat by themselves in a part of the house; at which time one or two
of them were struck with deep concern, who had been little affected
before: others had their concern increased to a considerable degree.
In the evening I discoursed to them, and found them universally
engaged, inquiring, “What they should do to be saved?” And all their
conversation among themselves turned upon _religious_ matters, in which
they were much assisted by my interpreter, who was with them day and
night.
*This day there was one woman, that had been much concerned ever since
she heard me preach in June, who obtained comfort, I trust solid and
well grounded: she seemed to be filled with love to Christ, at the same
time she behaved humbly and tenderly, and appeared afraid of nothing so
much as of grieving him whom her soul loved.
August 6. In the morning I discoursed to the Indians at the house where
we lodged: many of them were then much affected, so that a few words
about their souls would cause the tears to flow freely, and produce
many sobs and groans.――――
*In the afternoon, they being returned to the place where I have
usually preached among them, I again discoursed to them there. There
were about fifty-five persons in all, about forty that were capable
of attending divine service with understanding: I insisted upon 1 John
iv. 10. “Herein is love,” &c. They seemed eager of hearing; but there
appeared nothing very remarkable, till near the close of my discourse;
and then divine truths were attended with a surprising influence.
There was scarce _three_ in _forty_ that could refrain from tears and
bitter cries. They all as one, seemed in an agony of soul to obtain
an interest in Christ; and the more I discoursed of the love of God in
sending his Son to suffer for the sins of men; and the more I invited
them to come and partake of his love, the more their distress was
aggravated.
It was surprising to see how their hearts were pierced with the tender
invitations of the gospel, when there was not a word of terror spoken
to them.
*There were this day two persons that obtained comfort, which appeared
solid, rational, and scriptural. After I had enquired into the grounds
of their comfort, I asked what they wanted God to do further for them?
They replied, “They wanted Christ should wipe their hearts quite clean.”
*August 7. I preached to the Indians from Isaiah liii. 3‒10. There
was a remarkable influence attending the word. Most were much affected,
and many in great distress; and some could neither go nor stand, but
lay flat on the ground, as if pierced at heart, crying incessantly for
mercy: several were newly awakened, and it was remarkable, that as fast
as they came from remote places round about, the Spirit of God seemed
to seize them.
After public service I found two persons more that had newly met with
comfort, of whom I had good hopes; and a third that I could not but
entertain some hopes of, so that here were now six in all that had got
some relief from their spiritual distresses, and five whose experience
appeared clear and satisfactory.
August 8. In the afternoon I preached to the Indians, their number was
now about sixty-five persons, men, women, and children. I discoursed
from Luke xiv. 16‒23, and was favoured with _uncommon_ freedom.
There was much concern among them while I was discoursing publicly; but
afterwards when I spoke to one and another more particularly, the power
of God seemed to descend upon the assembly “like a rushing mighty wind,”
and with an astonishing energy bore down all before it.
*I stood amazed at the influence that seized the audience almost
universally, and could compare it to nothing more aptly than a mighty
torrent, that bears down and sweeps before it whatever is in its way.
Almost all persons of all ages were bowed down together, and scarce
one was able to withstand the _shock_ of this surprising operation.
Old men and women, who had been drunken wretches for many years, and
some little children, not more than six or seven years of age, appeared
in distress for their souls, as well as persons of middle age. And it
was apparent these children were not _merely_ frighted with seeing the
general concern; but were made sensible of their danger, the badness of
their hearts, and their misery without Christ. The most stubborn hearts
were now obliged to bow. A principal man among the Indians, who before
thought his state good, because he knew more than the generality of
the Indians, and who with great confidence the day before, told me, “he
had been a Christian more than ten years,” was now brought under solemn
concern for his soul, and wept bitterly. Another man considerable in
years, who had been a _murderer_, a _powwow_, and a notorious drunkard,
was likewise brought now to cry for mercy with many tears, and to
complain much that he could be no more concerned when he saw his danger
so great.
*They were almost universally praying and crying for mercy in every
part of the house, and many out of doors, and numbers could neither
go nor stand: their concern was so great, each for himself, that none
seemed to take any notice of those about them, but each prayed for
themselves; and were, to their own apprehension, as much retired as
if every one had been by himself in a desert, or, rather, they thought
nothing about _any_ but themselves, and so were every one praying
_apart_, although all _together_.
It seemed to me there was now an exact fulfilment of that prophecy,
Zechariah xii. 10, 11, 12. for there was now “a great mourning, like
the mourning of Hadadrimmon;”――and each seemed to “mourn apart.”
Methought this had a near resemblance to the day of God’s power,
mentioned Joshua x. 14. for I must say, I never saw _any day like it_
in all respects; it was a day wherein the Lord did much destroy the
kingdom of darkness among this people.
This concern was most rational and just; those who had been awakened
any considerable time, complained especially of the badness of their
_hearts_; those newly awakened, of the badness of their _lives_ and
_actions_; and all were afraid of the anger of God, and of everlasting
misery as the desert of their sins.
Some of the _white_ people, who came out of curiosity to “hear what
this babbler would say” to the poor ignorant Indians, were much
awakened, and appeared to be wounded with a view of their perishing
state.
Those who lately obtained relief, were filled with comfort; they
appeared calm and rejoiced in Christ Jesus; and some of them took their
distressed friends by the hand, telling them of the goodness of Christ,
and the comfort that is to be enjoyed in him, and invited them to come
and give up their hearts to him. And I could observe some of them,
in the most unaffected manner, lifting up their eyes to heaven, as if
crying for mercy, while they saw the distress of the poor souls around
them.
*There was one remarkable instance this day, that I cannot but take
particular notice of. A young Indian woman, who, I believe, never knew
before she had a soul, hearing that there was something strange among
the Indians, came (it seems) to see what was the matter. I had not
proceeded far in my discourse, before she felt _effectually_ that she
had a soul: and before I had concluded, was so convinced of her sin and
misery, and so distressed with concern for her soul, that she seemed
like one pierced through with a dart, and cried out incessantly. She
could neither go nor stand, nor sit on her seat without being held
up. After public service was over, she lay flat on the ground praying
earnestly, and would take no notice of, nor give any answer to any
that spoke to her, I hearkened to hear what she said, and perceived the
burden of her prayer to be, _Guttummaukalummeh wechaumeh kmeleh Ndah_,
i. e. “Have mercy on me, and help me to give you my heart.” And thus
she continued praying incessantly for many hours.
August 9. I spent almost the whole day with the Indians, the former
part of it in discoursing with them privately, especially some who
lately received comfort, and endeavouring to inquire into the grounds
of it, as well as to give them some proper instructions, cautions, and
directions.
In the afternoon I discoursed to them publickly. There were now present
about seventy persons. I opened and applied the parable of the sower,
and was enabled to discourse with much plainness. There were many tears
among them while I was discoursing, but no considerable cry: yet some
were much affected with a few words spoken from Matthew xi. 28. with
which I concluded. But while I was discoursing near night to two or
three of the awakened persons, a divine influence seemed to attend what
was spoken, which caused the persons to cry out in anguish of soul,
although I spoke not a word of terror; but, on the contrary, set before
them the fulness of Christ’s merits, and his willingness to save all
that came to him.
*The cry of these was heard by others, who, though scattered before,
immediately gathered round. I then proceeded in the same strain of
gospel invitation, till they were all melted into tears and cries,
except two or three; and seemed in the greatest distress to find and
secure an interest in the great Redeemer.――Some who had but little
more than a _ruffle_ made in their _passions_ the day before, seemed
now to be deeply affected: and the concern in general appeared near as
prevalent as the day before. There was indeed a very _great mourning_
among them and yet every one seemed to _mourn apart_. For so great was
their concern, that almost every one was praying and crying for himself,
as if none had been near, _Guttummaukalummeh, guttummaukalummeh_, i. e.
“Have mercy upon me, have mercy upon me;” was the common cry.
It was very affecting to see the poor Indians, who the other day were
yelling in their _idolatrous_ feasts, now crying to God with such
importunity, for an interest in his dear Son!
I found two or three who I hope had taken comfort upon good grounds
since the evening before; and these, with others that had obtained
comfort, were together, and seemed to rejoice much that God was
carrying on his work with such power upon others.
August 10. I began to discourse privately with those who had obtained
comfort: endeavouring to instruct, direct, caution, and comfort them.
But others being eager of hearing every word that related to spiritual
concerns, soon came together one after another: and when I had
discoursed to the _young converts_ more than half an hour, they seemed
much melted with divine things, and earnestly desirous to be with
Christ.
When I had spent some time with these, I turned to the other Indians,
and spoke to them from Luke xix. 10. I had not discoursed long before
their concern rose to a great degree, and the house was filled with
cries and groans. And when I insisted on the compassion and care of the
Lord Jesus Christ for _those that were lost_, and could find no way of
escape, this melted them down the more, and aggravated their distress,
that they could not come to so kind a Saviour.
Sundry persons, who before had been but slightly awakened, were
now deeply wounded. And one man in particular, who was never before
awakened, was now made to feel, that “the word of the Lord was quick
and powerful, sharper than any two-edged sword.” He seemed to be
pierced to the heart, and said, “all the wickedness of his past life
was brought fresh to his remembrance, and he saw all the vile actions
he had done formerly, as if done but yesterday.”
I found one that had newly received comfort, after pressing distress.
I could not but admire the divine goodness. There seems to be some
good done by every discourse, some newly awakened every day, and some
comforted.
Lord’s-day, August 11. I discoursed upon part of St. Peter’s sermon,
Acts ii. and at the close of my discourse to the Indians, made an
address to the _white_ people, and divine truths seemed to be attended
with power both to the English and Indians. Several of the _white
Heathen_ were awakened, and could no longer be idle spectators, but
found they had souls to save as well as the Indians, and a great
concern spread through the whole assembly, so that this also appeared
to be a day of God’s power.
The number of the Indians, old and young, was now upwards of seventy,
and one or two were newly awakened this day, who never appeared to be
moved before.
Those that had obtained comfort, and had given evidences, of a saving
change, appeared humble and devout, and behaved in an agreeable and
Christian manner. I was refreshed to see the tenderness of conscience
manifest in some of them. *Perceiving one of them very sorrowful in
the morning, I enquired into the cause of her sorrow, and found she
had been angry with her child the evening before, and was in fear lest
her anger had been inordinate, which so grieved her, that she waked and
began to sob before daylight, and continued weeping for several hours
together.
August 14. I spent the day with the Indians. There was one of them
who had some time since put away his wife, (as is common among them)
and taken another woman, and being now brought under some serious
impressions, was earnestly desirous to know what God would have him do.
When the law of God respecting _marriage_ had been opened to them, and
the cause of his leaving his wife enquired into; and when it appeared
she had given him no just occasion by _unchastity_ to desert her, and
that she was willing to forgive his past misconduct, he was then told,
that it was his indispensable duty to renounce the woman he had last
taken, and receive the other who was his proper wife; with which he
chearfully complied, and thereupon publicly renounced the woman he
had last taken, and publicly promised to live with his wife during
life.――――And here appeared a clear demonstration of the power of God’s
word upon their hearts. A few weeks before the whole world could not
have persuaded him to a compliance with Christian rules in this affair.
August 15. I preached from Luke iv. 16‒21. The word was attended with
power upon the hearts of the hearers. There was much concern, many
tears, and affecting cries among them, and some were deeply wounded.
There were some newly awakened, and convictions seemed to be promoted
in others.――Those that had received comfort, were likewise refreshed
and strengthened, and the work of grace appeared to advance in all
respects.
August 16. I spent a considerable time in conversing privately with
sundry of the Indians. I found one that had comfort, after pressing
concern, and could not but hope, when I discoursed with her, that her
comfort was of the right kind.
In the afternoon toward the close of my discourse, divine truths were
attended with considerable power upon the audience, and more especially
after public service was over, when I particularly addressed the
distressed persons.
There was a great concern for their souls spread generally among them:
but especially there were two persons newly awakened, one of whom was
lately come, and the other had all along been very attentive, but could
never before have any lively view of her perishing state. But now her
spiritual distress was such, that I had never seen _any_ more pressing.
Sundry _old_ men were also in distress for their souls; so that they
could not refrain from weeping and crying out aloud, and their bitter
groans were the most convincing, as well as affecting evidence of
the depth of their inward anguish.――God is powerfully at work among
them! True and genuine convictions of sin are daily promoted in many
instances, and some are newly awakened from time to time.
August 17. I spent much time in private conferences with the Indians.
I found one who had newly obtained comfort, after a long season of
spiritual distress, (he was one of my hearers in the Forks of Delaware
for more than a year, and now followed me hither under deep concern)
and I had abundant reason to hope that his comfort was well grounded.
Friday, August 23. I spent some time with the Indians in private
discourse; and afterwards preached. Several appeared deeply concerned
for their souls, and could not but express their inward anguish by
tears and cries. But the amazing influence that has been so powerfully
among them, seems, at present in some degree abated.
August 24. I spent the forenoon in discoursing to some of the Indians,
in order to their receiving the ordinance of _baptism_. When I had
opened the nature of the ordinance, the obligations attending it, the
duty of devoting ourselves to God in it, and the privilege of being _in
covenant_ with him, sundry of them seemed to be filled with love to God,
and delighted with the thoughts of giving up themselves to him in that
solemn and public manner.
Afterwards I discoursed publicly from 1 Thessalonians iv. 13‒17. There
was a solemn attention, and visible concern in the time of public
service, which was afterwards increased by some further exhortation
given them to come to Christ, and give up their hearts to him, that
they might be fitted to “ascend up and meet him in the air.”
There were several Indians newly come, who thought their state good,
because they had lived with the _white people_, although they were
altogether unacquainted with the power of religion.
With those I discoursed particularly after public worship, and was
surprized to see their self-righteous disposition, and the high value
they put upon their supposed attainments. Yet after much discourse,
one appeared convinced, that “by the deeds of the law no flesh living
should be justified,” and wept bitterly, inquiring, “what he must do to
be saved?”
Lord’s-day, August 25. I preached in the forenoon from Luke xv. 3‒7.
There being a multitude of _white_ people present, I made an address to
them at the close of my discourse: but could not so much as keep them
orderly; for scores of them kept walking and gazing about, and behaved
more indecently than _any Indians_ I ever addressed.
Afterwards I baptized _twenty-five_ persons of the Indians, fifteen
adults, and ten children. Most of the adults I have reason to hope are
renewed persons: only the case of two or three appeared more doubtful.
After the croud of spectators was gone, I called the baptized persons
together, and discoursed to them in particular, minded them of the
solemn obligations they were now under to live to God, and encouraged
them to watchfulness and devotion, by setting before them the _comfort_
and happy _conclusion_ of a religious life.――This was a sweet season!
Their hearts were engaged and chearful in duty, and they rejoiced
that they had in a public and solemn manner dedicated themselves to
God.――Love seemed to reign among them! They took each other by the hand
with tenderness and affection, as if their hearts were knit together,
while I was discoursing to them: and all their deportment towards each
other was such, that a _serious spectator_ might justly be excited to
cry out with admiration, “Behold how they love one another!” Sundry
of the other Indians at seeing and hearing these things, were much
affected and wept bitterly, longing to be partakers of the same comfort
that these discovered by their countenances as well as conduct.
Monday, August 26. I preached from John vi. 51‒55. After I had
discoursed some time, I addressed those in particular who entertained
hopes that they were “passed from death to life.” I opened to them the
nature of those consolations Christ gives his people, shewed them that
such have already the “beginnings of eternal life,” (verse 54.) and
that their _heaven_ shall be speedily completed.
I no sooner begun to discourse, but the _Christians_ in the
congregation began to be melted with affection to, and desire of
the enjoyment of Christ, and of a state of perfect purity. They
wept affectionately and yet joyfully, and their tears and sobs
discovered _brokenness_ of heart, and yet were attended with _comfort_
and _sweetness_; so that this was a tender, affectionate, humble,
delightful, melting, and appeared to be the genuine effect of the
spirit of _adoption_. The influence spread from these through the whole
assembly, and there quickly appeared a wonderful concern among them.
Many who had not yet found Christ, were surprisingly engaged in seeking
him. Their number was now about _ninety-five_ persons, and almost all
affected either with _joy_ in Christ, or with the _utmost concern_ to
obtain an interest in him.
Being convinced it was now my duty to take a journey to the Indians
on Susquahannah river, after having spent some hours in public and
private discourses with my people, I told them that I must leave them
for the present, and go to their _brethren_ far remote, and preach to
them; that I wanted the spirit of God should go with me, without whom
nothing could be done to any good purpose, as they themselves had
had an opportunity to see: and asked them if they would not spend the
remainder of the day in prayer for me, that God would go with me, and
succeed my endeavours. *They chearfully complied, and soon after I left
them (the sun being then about an hour and half high) they began and
continued praying all night till break of day, never mistrusting (they
told me) till they went and saw the morning star a considerable height,
that it was later than common bed time.
This day an _old_ Indian, who has all his days been an obstinate
_idolater_, was brought to give up his _rattles_ (which they use for
music in their _idolatrous_ feasts and dances) to the other Indians,
who quickly destroyed them; and this without an attempt of mine in the
affair, so that it was nothing but the power of God’s word, without any
particular application to this sin, that produced this effect. Thus God
has begun, thus he has hitherto carried on a work of grace among these
Indians. May the glory be ascribed to him, who is the sole author of it!
[The next day he set out on a journey towards the forks of Delaware,
designing to go from thence to Susquahannah, before he returned to
Crosweeksung. It was five days from his departure from Crosweeksung,
before he reached the forks, going round by the way of Philadelphia,
and waiting on the governor of Pensylvania, to get a recommendation
from him to the chiefs of the Indians.]
_Forks of Delaware._
Lord’s-day, September 1. I preached to the Indians here, from Luke
xiv. 16‒23.
Afterwards I preached to a number of _white_ people, and observed
many of them in tears, and some who had been formerly as careless and
unconcerned about religion as the Indians.
Towards night I discoursed to the Indians again and perceived a greater
attention, and more visible concern among them, than has been usual in
_these parts_.
September 3. I preached to the Indians from Isaiah liii. 3‒6. The
divine presence seemed to be in the midst of the assembly, and a
considerable concern spread among them. Sundry persons seemed to be
awakened, among whom were two stupid creatures, that I could scarce
ever before ♦keep awake while I was discoursing to them.
♦ “awake” replaced with “keep awake” per Errata
Wednesday, September 4. I rode 15 miles to an Irish settlement, and
preached there from Luke xiv. 22. “and yet there is room.” God was
pleased to afford me some tenderness and enlargement in the first
prayer, and much freedom, as well as warmth in the sermon. There were
many tears in the assembly: the people of God seemed to melt, and
others to be in some measure awakened. Blessed be the Lord, that lets
me see his work going on in one place and another.
September 5. I discoursed to the Indians from the parable of the
sower, and afterwards conversed particularly with sundry persons, which
occasioned them to weep, and even to cry out in an affecting manner,
and seized others with surprise and concern. Several of these had
been with me to Crosweeksung, and some of them felt the power of God’s
word. I asked one of them why he cried? He replied, “When he thought
how Christ was slain like a lamb and spilt his blood for sinners, he
could not help crying:” and thereupon burst into tears and cries again.
I then asked his wife, who likewise had been abundantly comforted,
wherefore she cried? She answered, “She was grieved that the Indians
here would not come to Christ, as well as those at Crosweeksung.” I
asked her if she found a heart to pray for them, and whether Christ had
been near to her of late in prayer, as in time past? (which is my usual
method of expressing a sense of the divine presence.) She replied,
“Yes, he had been near to her; and that at sometimes when she had been
praying alone, her heart loved to pray so, that she could not bear to
leave the place, but wanted to stay and pray longer.”
Lord’s-day, September 8. I discoursed to the Indians, forenoon and
afternoon. The word of God seemed to fall with _weight_ and influence
upon them. There were but few present, but most that were, were in
tears, and sundry cried out under distressing concern for their souls.
There was one man awakened, who never before discovered any concern for
his soul. There appeared a remarkable work of the Spirit, not unlike
what had been at Crosweeksung. It seemed as if the divine influence had
spread from thence to this place.
Sundry of the careless white people now present were startled seeing
the power of God so prevalent among the Indians. I then made a
particular address to them, which seemed to make some impression upon
them.
In the evening God was pleased to enlarge me in prayer, and give me
freedom at the throne of grace; I cried to God for the enlargement
of his kingdom, particularly among my dear people: and for many dear
ministers of my acquaintance, both in these parts and in New-England.
And my soul was so engaged in that sweet exercise, that I knew not how
to leave the mercy seat. I saw God was both able and willing to do all
that I desired. And when I was going to bed, God helped me to renew my
petitions with ardency and freedom.
Monday, September 9. I left the Forks of Delaware, and set out for
Susquahannah-river, directing my course towards the Indian-town more
than an hundred and twenty miles westward from the Forks.
September 13. After having lodged out three nights ♦I came to the
Indian-town on Susquahannah called Shaumoking, (one of the places I
visited in May last,) and was kindly received by the Indians; but had
little satisfaction by reason of the heathenish dance they held in the
house where I was obliged to lodge, which I could not suppress, though
I often intreated them to desist, for the sake of one who was sick in
the house.
♦ “at” replaced with “I came to” per Errata
This town lies partly on the east side of the river, partly on the
west, and partly on a large island in it, and contains upwards of fifty
houses, and near three hundred persons: but of three different tribes,
speaking three languages wholly _unintelligible_ to each other. About
one half of its inhabitants are Delawares, the others called Senakas,
and Tutelas. The Indians of this place are counted the most drunken,
mischievous, and ruffianly _fellows_ of any in these parts; and _Satan_
seems to have his _seat_ in this _town_ in an eminent manner.
Saturday, September 14. I visited the Delaware king, (who was supposed
to be at the point of death when I was here in May, but was now
recovered,) discoursed with him and others respecting Christianity,
and had more encouragement than I expected. The _king_ appeared
willing to be instructed; this gave me some hope, that God would
open an _effectual door_ for my preaching the gospel here. This was
a refreshment to me in the wilderness, and rendered my _solitary_
circumstances comfortable.
*In the evening my soul was enlarged in prayer; especially, that God
would set up his kingdom in this place. My soul cried, “Lord, set up
thy kingdom, for thine own glory. Glorify thyself; and I shall rejoice.
Get honour to thy blessed name; and this is all I desire. Do with
me just what thou wilt. Blessed be thy name for ever, that thou art
God, and that thou wilt glorify thyself. O that the whole world might
glorify thee! O let these poor people be brought to know thee, and love
thee, for the glory of thy ever-blessed name!”
Lord’s-day, September 15. I visited the _chief_ of the Delawares again;
and discoursed to the Indians in the afternoon. I still hoped that God
would open their hearts to receive the gospel, though many of them were
so drunk from day to day, that I could get no opportunity to speak to
them.
September 16. I spent the forenoon with the Indians, endeavouring to
instruct them from house to house, and to engage them, to be friendly
to Christianity.
Towards night I went to a part of the town where they were _sober_,
and got together near fifty persons of them.――There was a surprising
attention among them, and they manifested a desire of being further
instructed. There was also one or two that seemed to be touched,
and appeared pleased with some conversation in private, after I had
concluded my public discourse.
My spirits were much refreshed, and I could not but return with my
interpreter (having no _other companion_ in this journey) to my poor
hard lodgings, rejoicing in hopes that God designed to set up his
kingdom here, and found uncommon freedom in addressing the throne of
grace for the accomplishment of so glorious a work.
September 17. I spent the forenoon in discoursing to the Indians. About
noon I left Shaumoking, (most of the Indians going out this day to
hunt,) and travelled down the river south-westward.
September 19. I visited an Indian town called _Juneauta_, situate on
an island in Susquahannah. I was much discouraged with the behaviour of
the Indians here. Although they appeared friendly when I was with them
last spring; yet they now seemed resolved to retain their Pagan notions,
and persist in their _idolatrous_ practices.
September 20. I visited the Indians again at Juneauta island, and found
them busy in making preparations for a great _sacrifice_ and _dance_.
So I had no opportunity to get them together in order to discourse
about Christianity. My spirits were much sunk, especially seeing I had
now no interpreter but a Pagan, who was as much attached to _idolatry_
as any of them. However, I discoursed privately with some of them, but
without any appearance of success.
In the evening they met together, near an hundred of them, and danced
round a large fire, having prepared ten fat deer for the _sacrifice_.
The fat of the inwards they burnt in the fire while they were dancing,
and sometimes raised the flame to a prodigious height, at the same time
yelling and shouting in such a manner, that they might have been heard
two miles or more.
They continued their _sacred dance_ all night; after which they eat the
_flesh_ of the _sacrifice_, and retired each to his lodging.
I enjoyed little satisfaction this night, being entirely alone on the
island, (as to any Christian company,) and having walked to and fro’
till body and mind were much oppressed, I at length crept into a little
crib made for corn, and there slept on the poles.
*Lord’s-day, September 21. I spent the day with the Indians on the
island. As soon as they were up, I attempted to instruct them, and
laboured to get them together, but quickly found they had something
else to do; for they gathered together all their _powwows_, (or
conjurers,) and set about half a dozen of them to playing their tricks,
and acting their frantic postures, in order to find out why they
were so sickly, numbers of them being at that time disordered with a
_fever_, and bloody _flux_. In this they were engaged for several hours,
making all the wild distracted motions imaginable: sometimes singing;
sometimes howling; sometimes extending their hands to the utmost
stretch, spreading all their fingers, and seemed to push with them,
as if they designed to fright something away, or at least keep it off
at arms-end; sometimes stroking their faces with their hands, then
spurting water as fine as mist; sometimes sitting flat on the earth,
then bowing down their faces to the ground; wringing their sides, as
if in pain and anguish: twisting their faces, turning up their eyes,
grunting, or puffing.
*Their monstrous actions seemed to have something in them peculiarly
suited to raise the devil, if he could be raised by any thing odd
and frightful. Some of them were much more fervent in the business
than others, and seemed to _chant_, _peep_, and _mutter_ with a great
degree of warmth and vigour. I sat about thirty feet from them, (though
undiscovered) with my bible in my hand, resolving, if possible, to
spoil their sport, and prevent their receiving any answers from the
_infernal_ world. They continued their hideous charms for more than
three hours, until they had all wearied themselves out, although
they had taken sundry intervals of rest: and at length broke up, I
apprehended, without receiving any answer.
After they had done powwowing, I attempted to discourse with them about
Christianity; but they soon scattered, and gave no opportunity. A view
of these things, while I was destitute of the society of any one that
so much as “named the name of Christ,” greatly sunk my spirits, so that
I had no heart nor power to make any further attempts among them.
The Indians of this island many of them understand English, having
formerly lived in Maryland near the white people, but are very vicious,
drunken, and profane, although not so _savage_ as those who have less
acquaintance with the English. Their method of _charming_ over the sick,
seems somewhat different from that of other Indians: and the whole
of it perhaps is an imitation of what seems, by Naaman’s expression,
2 Kings v. 11. to have been the custom of the ancient Heathens. For
it seems chiefly to consist in their “striking their hands over the
diseased,” repeatedly stroking of them, “and calling upon their gods,”
excepting the spurting of water, and some other frantic ceremonies
common to the other _conjurations_.
*When I was in these parts in May last, I had an opportunity of
learning many of the customs of the Indians: I then travelling more
than an hundred and thirty miles upon the river above the English
settlements; and had in that journey a view of persons of _seven_ or
_eight_ distinct tribes, speaking so many different languages. But of
all the sights I ever saw among them, none appeared so near a-kin to
what is usually imagined of _infernal powers_, as the appearance of
one who was a devout and zealous reformer, or rather restorer, of
what he supposed was the ancient religion of the Indians. He made his
appearance in his _♦pontifical garb_, which was a coat of _bear skins_,
dressed with the hair on, and hanging down to his toes, a pair of
bear-skin stockings, and a great _wooden_ face, painted the one half
black and the other tawny, about the colour of an Indian’s skin,
with an extravagant mouth, cut very much awry; the face fastened to
a bear-skin cap, which was drawn over his head. He advanced toward
me with the instrument in his hand that he used for music in his
_idolatrous worship_ which was a dry _tortoise-shell_, with some
corn in it, and the neck of it drawn on a piece of wood, which made a
very convenient handle. As he came forward, he beat his tune with the
_rattle_, and danced with all his might, but did not suffer any part of
his body, not so much as his fingers, to be seen: and no man would have
guessed, by his appearance, that he could have been a human creature.
When he came near me, I could not but shrink away from him, although it
was then noon day, and I knew who it was. He had a house consecrated to
religious uses, with divers images cut out upon the several parts of it;
I went in and found the ground beat almost as hard as a rock with their
frequent dancing.――I discoursed with him about Christianity, and some
of my discourse he seemed to like, but some of it he disliked entirely.
He told me that God had taught him his religion, and that he never
would turn from it, but wanted to find some that would join heartily
with him in it; for the Indians, he said, were grown very degenerate.
He had thoughts, he said, of leaving all his friends, and travelling
abroad, in order to find some that would join with him; for he believed
God had some good people some where, that felt as he did. He had not
always, he said, felt as he now did, but had _formerly_ been like the
rest of the Indians, until about four or five years ago: then, he said,
his heart was very much distressed, so that he could not live among the
Indians, but got away into the woods, and lived alone for some months.
At length, he says, God shewed him what he should do; and since that
time he had known God, and tried to serve him; and loved all men, be
they who they would, so as he never did before.――He treated me with
uncommon courtesy, and seemed to be hearty in it.――――And I was told by
the Indians, that he opposed their drinking strong liquor with all his
power; and if at any time he could not dissuade them from it, he would
leave them, and go crying into the woods. It was manifest he had a set
of religious notions that he had looked into _for himself_, and not
taken for _granted_ upon bare tradition; and he relished or disrelished
whatever was spoken of a religious nature, according as it either
agreed or disagreed with _his standard_. And while I was discoursing he
would sometimes say, “Now that I like: so God has taught me.” And some
of his sentiments seemed very just. Yet he utterly denied the being
of a _devil_, and declared there was no such creature known among the
Indians of old times. He likewise told me, that departed souls all went
southward, and that the difference between the good and bad was this,
that the _former_ were admitted into a beautiful town with _spiritual_
walls, or walls agreeable to the nature of souls; and that the _latter_
would for ever hover round those walls, and in vain attempt to get in.
He seemed to be sincere, honest, and conscientious in his _own way_,
which was more than I ever saw in any other Pagan; and I perceived he
was derided among most of the Indians as a _precise zealot_. I must say,
there was something in his temper that looked more like true religion
than any thing I ever observed among other Heathens.
♦ “pontificial” replaced with “pontifical”
September 22. I made some further attempts to instruct the Indians on
this island, but all to no purpose. They live so near the white people,
that they are always in the way of strong liquor, as well as the
ill examples of _nominal_ Christians; which renders it unspeakably
♦difficult to treat with them about Christianity.
♦ “diffcult” replaced with “difficult”
[On Monday, September 23. He left the Indians, in order to his return
to the Forks of Delaware, in a very weak state of body, and under
dejection of mind, which continued the two first days of his journey.]
Thursday, September 26. I was still much disordered in body, and
able to ride but slowly, I continued my journey however. Near night
I arrived at the Irish settlement, about fifteen miles from mine own
house. This day I was much exercised with a sense of my barrenness: and
verily thought, there was no creature that had any true grace, but what
was more spiritual and fruitful than I: I could not think that any of
God’s children made so poor a hand of living to God as I.
_Forks of Delaware._
October 1. I discoursed to the Indians here, and afterwards invited
them to follow me to Crosweeksung as soon as their conveniency would
admit; which invitation sundry of them chearfully accepted.
Saturday, October 5. I preached at Crosweeksung, from John xiv. 1‒6.
The divine presence seemed to be in the assembly. Numbers were affected,
and some comforted.
O what a difference is there between these and the Indians upon
Susquahannah! To be with _those_ seemed like being banished from God
and all his people; to be with _these_ like being admitted into his
family, and to the enjoyment of his presence! How great is the change
made upon these Indians, who not many months ago were as averse to
Christianity, as those upon Susquahannah!
Lord’s-day, October 6. I preached in the forenoon from John x. 7‒11.
There was a considerable melting among my people; the young Christians
were comforted and strengthened, and one or two persons newly awakened.
In the afternoon I discoursed on the story of the jailor, Acts xvi.
and in the evening expounded Acts xx. 1‒12. There was at this time a
melting through the whole assembly. There was scarce a dry eye to be
seen among them, and nothing but what tended to excite a Christian
ardour and spirit of devotion.
After public service I withdrew, and the Indians continued praying
among themselves for near two hours together; which exercises appeared
to be attended with a blessed influence from on high.
I could not but earnestly wish that numbers of God’s people had been
present at this season, to see and hear these things which I am sure
must refresh the heart of every true lover of Zion. To see those, who
very lately were savage Pagans and idolaters, “having no hope, and
without God in the world,” now filled with a sense of divine love,
and worshipping the “Father in spirit and in truth,” was not a little
affecting; and especially to see them so tender and humble, as well as
lively, fervent, and devout.
Monday, October 7. Being called by the church of East-Hampton on
Long-Island, as a member of a council, to advise in affairs of
difficulty in that church, I set out this morning, before it was well
light, and travelled to Elisabeth-Town.
[He prosecuted his journey with the other ministers that were sent for:
and did not return till October 24.]
October 24. I discoursed from John iv. 13‒14. There was a great
attention, and an unaffected melting in the assembly.――It is surprising
to see how eager they are to hear the word of God. I have often thought
they would chearfully attend divine worship twenty-four hours together.
October 25. I discoursed to my people on the _resurrection_, from Luke
xx. 27‒36. And when I came to mention the blessedness the good shall
enjoy at that season; their final freedom from death, and sorrow; their
equality to the _angels_ in regard of their nearness to, and enjoyment
of Christ; and their being the _children of God_, openly acknowledged
by him _as such_; I say, when I mentioned these things, numbers of them
were much affected, and melted with a view of this blessed state.
October 26. Being called to assist in the administration of the
Lord’s-supper in a neighbouring congregation, I invited my people to
go with me, who embraced the opportunity chearfully, and attended the
discourses of that solemnity with diligence and affection, most of them
now understanding something of the English language.
Lord’s-day, October 27. While I was preaching to a vast assembly of
people abroad, who appeared generally easy and secure enough, there
was one Indian woman, a stranger, who never heard me preach before, nor
ever regarded any thing about religion, (being now persuaded by some
of her friends to come though much against her will) was seized with a
pressing concern for her soul, and soon after expressed a great desire
of going home, (more than forty miles distant) to call her husband,
that he also might have a concern for his soul. Some other of the
Indians also appeared to be affected with divine truths this day.
The pious people of the English (numbers of whom I had an opportunity
to converse with) seemed refreshed with seeing the Indians worship
God in that devout and solemn manner, and could not but “glorify God,
saying, Then hath God also to the Gentiles granted repentance unto
life.”
*October 28. I discoursed from Matthew xxii. 1‒13. I was enabled to
adapt my discourse to the capacities of my people, “I know not how,” in
a plain, easy, and familiar manner, beyond all that I could have done
by the utmost study: and this, with as much freedom, as if I had been
addressing a common audience, who had been instructed in Christianity
all their days.
*The word of God at this time seemed to fall upon the assembly with
a divine power, especially toward the close of my discourse: there
was both a sweet melting, and bitter mourning in the audience.――The
Christians were refreshed and comforted, convictions revived in others,
and sundry persons newly awakened who had never been with us before;
and so much of the divine presence appeared in the assembly, that it
seemed, “this was no other than the gate of heaven.” All that had any
relish of divine things were even constrained to say, “Lord, it is good
for us to be here!” If ever there was among my people an appearance of
the New Jerusalem――“as a bride adorned for her husband,” there was at
this time. And so agreeable was the entertainment, that I could scarce
tell how to leave the place.
Lord’s-day, ♦November 3. I baptized _fourteen_ Indians, six adults and
eight children: one of these was near _fourscore_ years of age, and
I have reason to hope God has brought her home to himself: two of the
others were men of _fifty_ years old, who had been singular even among
the Indians for their wickedness; one of them had been a murderer, and
both notorious drunkards, as well as excessive quarrelsome; but now I
cannot but hope both are really changed. I deferred their baptism for
many weeks, that I might have more opportunities to observe the fruits
of those impressions they had been under. Indeed there ♠was not but one
of the adults but had given me grounds to hope, that God had wrought a
good work in their hearts.
♦ “October 23” replaced with “November 3”
♠ “was” replaced with “was not” per Errata
November 4. There were sundry of the persons lately come from remote
places, that were now brought under deep concern for their souls;
particularly one, who not long since came half drunk, and railed
on us, and attempted to disturb us while engaged in divine worship,
was so distressed, that she seemed unable to get any ease without an
interest in Christ. There were many tears and affectionate groans in
the assembly in general, some weeping for themselves, others for their
friends. And though persons are doubtless much more easily affected now,
than they were in the beginning ♦of this religious concern, when tears
and cries for their souls were things unheard of among them; yet, their
affection in general appeared _genuine_ and _unfeigned_; and especially
in those newly awakened.
♦ “to” replaced with “of” per Errata
I baptized a child this day, and perceived several of the baptized
persons, affected, as being thereby minded of their own solemn
engagements.
I have now baptized in all _forty-seven_ persons of the Indians, twenty
adults, and twenty-four children; thirty-five of them belonging to
these parts, and the rest to the Forks of Delaware; and they have none
of them yet been a disgrace to their profession.
Before I proceed, I would make a few remarks.
And _1st_, It is remarkable that God began this work among the Indians
at a time when I had the least prospect of seeing a work of grace among
them. My bodily strength being then much wasted by a tedious journey
to Susquahannah, my mind exceedingly depressed with a view of the
unsuccessfulness of my labours, I had little to hope that God would
make me instrumental of the saving conversion of any of the Indians,
whence I was ready to look upon myself as a burden to the society that
employed me. I began to entertain serious thoughts of giving up my
mission; and almost resolved I would, at the conclusion of the year,
if I had no better prospect in my work than I had hitherto had.
In this frame of mind I first visited these Indians at Crosweeksung,
apprehending it was my duty to make some attempts for their conversion,
though I cannot say, I had any hope of success.
And yet _this_ was the very season that God saw fit to begin this
glorious work in! And thus he “ordained strength out of weakness,”
by making bare his almighty arm at a time when _all hopes_ and _human
probabilities_ failed.――“Whence I learn that it is good to follow the
path of duty, though in the midst of darkness and discouragement.”
_2dly_, It is remarkable how God, in a manner almost _unaccountable_,
called these Indians together and how he ♦seized their minds with the
most solemn concern as fast as they came to the place where his word
was preached. When I first came into these parts, I found not one man
at the place, but only four _women_, and a few children: but before I
had been there many days, they gathered from all quarters, some from
more than twenty miles distant: and when I made them a second visit,
some came more than forty miles to hear me.
♦ “seised” replaced with “seized”
And many came without any intelligence of what was going on here, and
consequently without any design, so much as to gratify their curiosity;
so that it seemed as if God had summoned them together from all
quarters for nothing else but to deliver his message to them.
Nor is it less surprising that they were one after another affected
with a solemn concern, almost as soon as they came upon the spot ♦where
divine truths were taught them. I could not but think, their coming to
this place was like Saul and his messengers coming among the prophets;
they no sooner came but they prophesied: and these were almost as
soon affected with a sense of their sin and misery, and with an
earnest concern for deliverance, as they made their appearance in our
assembly.――――After this work of _grace_ began with power among them, it
was common for _strangers_ of the Indians, before they had been with us
one day, to be deeply convinced of their sin and misery, and to inquire
with great solicitude, “What they should do to be saved?”
♦ “were” replaced with “where”
_3dly_, It is likewise remarkable how God preserved these poor ignorant
Indians from being prejudiced against me, and the truths I taught
them. There were many attempts made by some of the _white_ people
to prejudice them against, or fright them from Christianity. They
sometimes told them, the Indians were well enough already:――that there
was no need of all this _noise_ about Christianity:――that if they were
Christians, they would be in no better, no safer, or happier state,
than they were already.
Sometimes they told them, that I was a _knave_, a _deceiver_: that I
taught them lies, and had no other design but to impose upon them.
And when none of these suggestions would avail, they told the Indians,
“My design was to gather together as large a body of men as I could,
and sell them to England for slaves.” Nothing could be more likely to
terrify the Indians, they being naturally of a jealous disposition, and
the most averse to a state of servitude perhaps of any people living.
But all these insinuations (through divine goodness) constantly turned
against the _authors_ of them, and only served to engage the affections
of the Indians more firmly to me: for they could not but observe, that
the persons who endeavoured to imbitter their minds against me, were
altogether unconcerned about their own souls, and not only so, but
vicious and profane; and thence could not but argue, that if they had
no concern for their _own_, it was not likely they should have any for
the souls of _others_.
It seems the more wonderful that the Indians were preserved from
hearkening to these suggestions, as I was an utter stranger among them,
and could give no assurance of my sincere affection, by any thing that
was past,――while the persons that insinuated these things were their
old acquaintance, who had had frequent opportunities of gratifying them,
and consequently had the greatest interest in their affections.
_4thly_, Nor is it less wonderful how God was pleased to provide a
_remedy_ for my want of skill in the Indian language, by remarkably
fitting my interpreter for, and assisting him in the performance of
his work. It might be supposed I must labour under a vast disadvantage
in addressing the Indians by an interpreter, and that divine truths
would lose much of their _energy_, by coming to the audience from
a _second hand_. But although this has often been the case in times
past, when my interpreter had little sense of divine things, yet now
it is quite otherwise. I cannot think my addresses to the Indians
since the beginning of this season of grace, have lost any thing of
the power with which they were made, unless it were sometimes for want
of pertinent expressions in the Indian language. My interpreter had
before gained some good degree of _doctrinal_ knowledge, whereby he
was capable of understanding and communicating the _meaning_ of my
discourses, without being obliged to interpret word for word. He had
likewise an _experimental_ acquaintance with divine things; and it
pleased God at this season to inspire his mind with longing desires
for the conversion of the Indians, and to give him admirable zeal
and fervency in addressing them. And it is remarkable, that when I
was favoured with any _special assistance_, and enabled to speak with
more than common _freedom_, _fervency_, and _power_, he was affected
in the same manner almost instantly, and enabled to speak in the
same _pathetic_ language that I did. And a _surprising energy_ often
accompanied the word at such seasons; so that the face of the whole
assembly would be changed almost in an instant, and tears and sobs
became common among them.
He likewise took pains day and night to inculcate upon the Indians the
truths I taught them daily; and this not from spiritual pride, but from
a spirit of faithfulness, and an honest concern for their souls.
And thus God, without bestowing on me the _gift of tongues_, could find
a way wherein I might be effectually enabled to convey the truths of
his glorious gospel to the minds of these poor benighted Pagans.
_Lastly_, The _effects_ of this work have been very remarkable. I doubt
not but that many of these people have gained more knowledge of divine
truths since June last, than could have been instilled into their minds
by the most diligent use of proper means for whole _years_ together,
without such a divine influence. Their Pagan notions and _idolatrous_
practices seem to be entirely abandoned. They are regularly disposed in
the affairs of marriage; an instance whereof I have given in my Journal
of August 14. They seem generally divorced from _drunkenness_, their
darling vice, and the “sin that easily besets them:” so that I do not
know of more than two or three who have been my steady hearers, that
have drank to excess since I first visited them, although before it was
common for some or other of them to be drunk almost every day: and some
of them seem now to fear this sin in particular more than death itself.
A principle of honesty and justice appears in many of them, and they
seem concerned to discharge their old debts, which they have neglected,
and, perhaps, scarce thought of for years past. Their manner of living
is much more decent and comfortable than formerly. _Love_ reigns
among them, especially those who have experienced a real change: and
I never saw any appearance of _bitterness_ or _censoriousness_, nor
any disposition to “esteem themselves better than others.”
*As their sorrows under _convictions_ have been great and pressing,
so many of them have since appeared to “rejoice with joy unspeakable.”
And yet their consolations do not incline them to _lightness_; but are
attended with _solemnity_, and with _tears_, and brokenness of heart.
And in this respect some of them have been surprised at themselves,
and have with concern observed to me, that “when their hearts have been
glad,” “they could not help crying for all.”
Upon the whole, here are all the evidences of a remarkable work
of grace that can reasonably be looked for. May the _great Author_
maintain and promote the same _here_, and propagate it _every where_,
till “the whole earth be filled with his glory!”
I have now rode more than three thousand miles since the beginning of
March last; and almost the whole of it has been as a _missionary_, upon
the design of propagating _Christian knowledge_ among the Indians. I
have taken pains to look out for a _colleague_, to travel with me; but
have not as yet found any person qualified and disposed for this good
work.
As these poor Pagans stood in need of having “line upon line, and
precept upon precept,” in order to their being grounded in the
principles of Christianity; so I preached “publickly and taught from
house to house,” almost every day for _whole weeks_ together. And my
_public_ discourses did not then make up the one half of my work, while
there were so many constantly coming to me with that important inquiry,
“What must we do to be saved?” And yet I can say, (to the praise of
God) that the success with which my labours were crowned, unspeakably
more than compensated for the labour itself, and was likewise a great
means of carrying me through fatigues, which my nature would have sunk
under, without such an encouraging prospect. But although this success
has afforded matter of support, comfort and thankfulness: yet in this
season I have found great need of assistance in my work, and have been
much oppressed for want of _one_ to bear a part of my _labours_ and
_hardships_.――――
“May the Lord of the harvest send forth other labourers into this part
of his harvest, that those who sit in darkness may see great light, and
that the whole earth may be filled with the knowledge of himself!”
[Tuesday, November 5. He left the Indians, and spent the remaining part
of this week in travelling to various parts of New-Jersey, in order
to get a _collection_ for the use of the Indians, and to obtain a
_school-master_ to instruct them.]
Lord’s day, November 10. [At Elisabeth-Town] I preached in the forenoon
from 2 Corinthians v. 20. God was pleased to give me freedom and
fervency; and the presence of God seemed to be in the assembly; numbers
were affected, and there were many tears among them. In the afternoon
I preached from Luke xiv. 22. “And yet there is room.” I was favoured
with divine assistance in the first prayer, and poured out my soul to
God with a filial temper; the living God also assisted me in sermon.
Friday, November 15. I could not cross the ferry by reason of the
violence of the wind; nor could I enjoy any place of retirement at
the ferry house. Yet God gave me some satisfaction in meditation, and
lifting up my heart to God in the midst of company. And although some
were drinking and talking profanely, yet my mind was calm and composed.
And I could not but bless God, that I was not like to spend an eternity
in such company.
Saturday, November 16. I crossed the ferry and arrived at
Elisabeth’s-Town near night. I was in a composed frame of mind,
and felt an entire resignation with respect to a loss I had lately
sustained, in having my horse stolen from me the last Wednesday night.
*Friday, November 22. I rode to Mr. Tennent’s and from thence to
Crosweeksung. Oh that I could fill up all my time, whether in the house
or by the way, for God! I was enabled this day to give up my soul to
God, and put all my concerns into his hands: and found real consolation
in the thought of being entirely at his disposal and having no will or
interest of my own. I have received my _all_ from God! Oh that I could
return my _all_ to God! Surely God is worthy of my highest affection,
and most devout adoration; he is infinitely worthy, that I should make
him my last end, and live for ever to him: Oh that I might never more,
in any one instance, live to myself!
Lord’s-day, November 24. I preached from the story of Zaccheus. When
I insisted upon the _salvation_ that _comes to the sinner_, upon his
becoming a true believer, the word seemed to be attended with divine
power.――――Numbers were much affected;――former convictions were revived,
one or two persons newly awakened;――and a most affectionate engagement
appeared among them universally.
November 26. I was favoured with freedom and fervency in my discourse.
Many wept affectionately, and scarce any appeared unconcerned. The
influence that seized the audience appeared gentle, and yet deeply
affected the heart. It excited in the persons under convictions of
their lost state, heavy groans and tears:――――and in others who had
obtained comfort, a sweet and humble melting. It seemed like the gentle
but steady showers that effectually water the earth.
The persons lately awakened, were deeply distressed, and appeared
earnestly ♦solicitous to obtain an interest in Christ: and some of them,
in anguish of spirit, said, “They knew not what to do, nor how to get
their wicked hearts changed.”
♦ “solicitious” replaced with “solicitous”
November 28. After public service was over, I asked one of the Indians
who wept most affectionately, “What she now wanted?” She replied,
“Oh to be with Christ! She did not know how to stay.” This was a
blessed refreshing season to the religious people in general. The
Lord Jesus Christ seemed to manifest his divine glory to them, as when
_transfigured_ before his disciples. And they were ready universally to
say, “Lord, it is good for us to be here.”
The influence of God’s word was not _confined_ to those who had given
evidences of being truly gracious, though I calculated my discourse for,
and directed it _chiefly_ to such: but it appeared to be a season of
divine power in the whole assembly; so that most were, in some measure
affected. And one aged man in particular, lately awakened, was now
brought under deep and pressing concern, and was earnestly inquisitive
“how he might find Jesus Christ.”
God seems still to vouchsafe the influence of his blessed Spirit, in
all our meetings for divine worship.
November 30. I preached near night, after having spent some hours in
private conference with some of my people. I explained the story of
the rich man and Lazarus, Luke xvi. 19. 26. The word made powerful
impressions upon many, especially while I discoursed of the blessedness
of “Lazarus in Abraham’s bosom.” _This_ I could perceive, affected
them much more than what I spoke of the _rich man’s_ torments. And thus
it has been usually with them. They have appeared much more affected
with the _comfortable_ than the _dreadful_ truths of God’s word. And
that which has distressed many of them under convictions, is, that
they wanted, and could not obtain the happiness of the godly; they
have often appeared to be more affected with _this_, than with the
_terrors_ of hell. But whatever be the _means_ of their awakening, it
is plain, numbers are made _deeply sensible_ of their sin and misery,
the wickedness of their own hearts, their _utter inability_ to help
themselves, or come to Christ for help, without divine assistance.
Lord’s-day, December 1. I gave them particular cautions and directions
relating to their conduct in divers respects. And pressed them to
_watchfulness_ in all their deportment, seeing they were encompassed
with those that “waited for their halting,” and who _stood ready_ to
draw them into _temptations_ of every kind, and then to expose religion
on their account.
Monday, December 9. I spent most of the day in procuring provisions, in
order to my setting up house-keeping among the Indians.
Tuesday, December 10. Towards night I got into my own house.¹
¹ This is the third house that he built to dwell in by himself
among the Indians: the first at Kaunaumeek in the county of
Albany: the second at the Forks of Delaware in Pensylvania;
and now this at Crosweeksung in New-Jersey.
December 12. I preached from the parable of the ten virgins, Matthew
xxv. The divine power seemed to attend this discourse, in which I was
favoured with _uncommon_ plainness of address, and enabled to open
divine truths, in a ♦manner _beyond myself_.――There appeared in many
an affectionate concern for their souls: and it was refreshing to see
them melted into tears; some with _sense_ of divine love, and some for
_want_ of it.
♦ “maner” replaced with “manner”
Lord’s-day, December 15. I preached to the Indians from Luke xiii.
24, 28. Divine truths fell with weight upon the audience. Near night I
discoursed to them again from Matthew xxv. 31. to 46. At which season
also, the word appeared to be accompanied with divine influence, and
made powerful impressions upon the assembly in general, as well as upon
divers persons in a very particular manner. This was an amazing season
of grace! “The word of the Lord,” “was quick and powerful, sharper than
a two-edged sword.” The assembly was _deeply_ wrought upon; and the
impressions made by the word of God appeared solid and rational, worthy
of the solemn truths by means of which they were produced.
O how did the hearts of the hearers seem to bow under the weight of
divine truths! And how evident did it now appear that they _received_
and _felt_ them, “not as the word of man, but as the word of God!”
*December 16. There was much affection and concern in the assembly;
especially one woman appeared in great distress. She was brought to
such an _agony_ in seeking after Christ, that the sweat ran off her
face for a considerable time, although the evening was very cold; and
her bitter cries were the most affecting indication of the _inward_
anguish of her heart.
Saturday, December 21. My people having now attained to a considerable
degree of knowledge in the principles of Christianity, I thought it
proper to set up a _catechetical lecture_; and this evening attempted
something in _that form_; proposing questions to them, receiving their
answers, and then explaining and insisting as appeared proper upon each
question. After which I endeavoured to make some practical improvement
of the whole.――They were able readily and _rationally_ to answer many
important questions: so that I found their knowledge to exceed my
expectations.――In the improvement of my discourse, when I came to open
the blessedness of those who have so great and glorious a God, as had
been spoken of, “for their everlasting friend and portion,” sundry were
much affected: and especially when I exhorted them “to be reconciled
to God,” through his dear Son, and _thus_ to secure an interest in his
everlasting favour.
*Lord’s-day, December 22. After my labours with the Indians, I spent
some time in writing; and was much wearied with the labours of the
day. I am conscious to myself that my labours are as great and constant
as my nature will bear, and that ordinarily I go to the extent of my
strength; so that I do all I can; but the misery is, I do not labour
with that _heavenly_ temper, that single eye to the _glory_ of God,
that I long for.
There were sundry persons of the Indians newly come here, who had
frequently lived among the Quakers; and being more civilized than the
generality of the Indians, they had imbibed some of the Quakers errors,
especially this, that if men would but live according to the dictates
of their own consciences, (or the _light within_,) there is no doubt of
their salvation.――――These persons I found much worse to deal with than
those who are wholly under Pagan darkness, who make no _pretences_ to
knowledge in Christianity, nor have any _self-righteous_ foundation
to stand upon. However, they all, except one, appeared now convinced,
that this was not sufficient to salvation; since Christ himself had
declared it so in the case of the young man. And seemed in some measure
concerned to obtain that change of heart which I had been labouring to
shew them the necessity of.
This was likewise a season of _comfort_ to some souls, and in
particular to one who never before obtained any settled comfort.
When I came to enquire of her, how she got relief from the distresses
she had lately been under, she answered in broken English,¹ “Me try,
me try, save myself, last my strength be all gone, (meaning her ability
to save herself,) could not me stir bit further. Den last me forced let
Jesus Christ alone, send me hell if he please.” I said, But you was not
willing to go to hell, was you? She replied,² “Could not me help it. My
heart he would wicked for all. Could not me make him good:” I asked her,
How she got out of this case? She answered still in the same broken
language,³ “By by my heart be grad desperately.” I asked her why her
heart was glad? She replied, “Grad my heart Jesus Christ do what he
please with me. Den me tink, grad my heart Jesus Christ send me hell.
Did not me care where he put me, me love him for all.”
¹ In proper English thus, “I tried and tried to save myself,
till at last my strength was all gone, and I could not stir
any further. Then at last I was forced to let Jesus Christ
alone to send me to hell if he pleased.”
² In plain English thus, “I could not help it. My heart would
be wicked for all I could do, I could not make it good.”
³ “By and by my heart was exceeding glad that Jesus Christ
would do with me what he pleased. Then I thought my heart
would be glad although Christ should send me to hell. I did
not care where he put me, I should love him for all: _i. e._
do what he would with me.”
*And she could not readily be convinced, but that she was willing to
go to hell, if Christ was pleased to send her there. Though the truth
evidently was, her will was so swallowed up in the divine will, that
she could not frame any hell in her imagination that would be dreadful,
provided it was the will of God to send her to it.
December 25. The Indians having been used upon Christmas-days to drink
and revel among the _white_ people, I thought proper to call them
together, and discourse to them upon divine things: which I accordingly
did from the parable of the barren figtree, Luke xiii. 6‒9. The power
of God appeared in the assembly, by awakening several stupid creatures,
that were scarce ever moved before. And the impressions made upon
the assembly in general, seemed not _superficial_, but _deep_ and
heart-affecting. O how ready did they appear to comply with every
thing they were convinced was their duty! God was in the midst of us
of a truth, bowing and melting stubborn hearts! How many tears and sobs
were then to be seen and heard among us! What liveliness and strict
attention! What eagerness and intenseness of mind! They seemed to watch
and wait for the dropping of God’s word, as the thirsty earth for the
“former and latter rain.”
December 26. This evening I was visited by a person under great
spiritual exercise. She was a woman of more than _four-score_ years old,
and appeared to be much broken and very _childish_ through age, so that
it seemed impossible for man to instil into her mind any _notions_ of
divine things.――She was led by the hand into my house, and appeared in
extreme anguish. I asked her, what ailed her? She answered, “That her
heart was distressed, and she feared she should never find Christ.” I
asked her, when she began to be concerned? She answered to this effect,
That she had heard me preach many times, but never “felt it in her
heart” till the last sabbath; and then it came, she said, “all one as
if a needle had been ♦thrust into her heart;” since which time she had
no rest day or night. She added, that on the evening before Christmas,
a number of Indians being together at the house where she was, and
discoursing about _Christ_, their talk _pricked her heart_, so that
she could not sit up, but fell down on her bed; at which time _she went
away_, (as she expressed it) and felt as if she dreamed, and yet is
confident she did not dream. When she was thus gone, she saw, she says,
two paths, one appeared very broad and crooked; and that turned to the
left hand. The other appeared strait and very narrow; and that went up
the hill to the right hand. She travelled, she said, for some time up
the narrow right-hand path, till at length something seemed to obstruct
her journey. She sometimes called it darkness, and sometimes compared
it to a block or bar. She then remembered, she says, what she had heard
me say about “striving to enter in at the strait gate,” (although she
took little notice of it at that time) and thought she would climb over
this bar. But just as she was thinking of this, she came back again, as
she termed it, meaning that she came to herself; whereupon her soul was
extremely distressed, apprehending she had now turned back and forsaken
Christ, and that there was therefore no hope of mercy for her.
♦ “thurst” replaced with “thrust”
I then proposed to her the provision made in the gospel for the
salvation of sinners, and the ability and willingness of Christ “to
save to the uttermost all” (old as well as young) “that come to him.”
To which she seemed to give a hearty assent. But instantly replied, “Ay,
but I cannot come; my wicked heart will not come to Christ, I do not
know how to come.” And this she spoke in anguish of spirit, striking
her breast, with tears in her eyes; and with such earnestness in her
looks as was indeed affecting.
She seems to be really convinced of her sin and misery, and her need
of a change of heart: and her concern is abiding and constant. So that
nothing appears but that this exercise may have a saving issue. And
indeed there is ground to hope for it, seeing she is solicitous to
obtain an interest in Christ, that her heart, (as she expresses it)
prays day and night.
December 28. I discoursed to my people in the catechetical method I
lately entered upon. And in the improvement of my discourse, wherein I
was comparing man’s _present_ with his _primitive_ state; and pressing
sinners to take a view of their deplorable circumstances without Christ;
as also to strive that they may obtain an interest in him; the Lord
granted a remarkable influence of his blessed Spirit, and there was
a great concern in the assembly: many were melted into tears, and the
impressions made upon them seemed _deep_ and heart affecting. And in
particular, there were two or three persons who appeared to be reduced
almost to extremity; being convinced of the impossibility of helping
themselves, or mending their own hearts; and upon the _point_ of
giving up all hope _in themselves_, and venturing upon Christ as naked,
helpless and undone.
Lord’s-day. December 29. I preached from John iii. 1‒5. a number of
white people were present, as is usual upon the sabbath. The discourse
seemed to have a _silent_, but _deep_ and _piercing_ influence upon
the audience. Many wept and sobbed affectionately. And there were some
tears among the white people, as well as the Indians. Some could not
refrain from crying _out_. But ♦the impressions made upon their hearts,
appeared chiefly by the extraordinary earnestness of their attention,
and their heavy sighs and tears.
♦ “th” replaced with “the”
*After public worship was over, I went to my house, proposing to
preach again after a short intermission. But they soon came in, one
after another, with tears in their eyes, to know “what they should do
to be saved.” And the divine Spirit in such a manner, set home upon
their hearts what I spoke to them, that the house was soon filled with
cries and groans.――――They all flocked together upon this occasion, and
those whom I had reason to think in a Christless state, were almost
universally seized with concern for their souls.
It was an amazing season of _power_ among them, and seemed as if God
had “bowed the heavens and come down.” So astonishingly prevalent was
the operation upon old as well as young, that it seemed as if God was
about to convert _all the world_. And I was ready to think _then_,
that I should never again despair of the conversion of any man or woman
living.
*It is impossible to give a just description of the ♦appearance of
things at this season. A number were rejoicing that God had not taken
away the influence of his blessed Spirit.――――Refreshed to see so many
“striving to enter in at the strait gate;”――and animated with such
concern for them that they wanted “to push them forward,” as some of
them expressed it.――At the same time numbers both of men and women,
old and young, might be seen in tears, and some in anguish of spirit
appearing in their very countenances, like condemned malefactors going
towards the place of execution: so that there seemed a lively emblem
of the solemn day of accounts; a mixture of heaven and hell; of joy
unspeakable, and anguish inexpressible.
♦ “appearence” replaced with “appearance”
*The concern was such, that I could not pretend to have any formal
religious exercise among them: but spent the time in discoursing to one
and another, sometimes all together, and concluded with prayer. _Such_
were their circumstances, that I could scare have _half an hour_’s rest
from speaking from about half an hour before twelve o’clock, (at which
time I began public worship) till past _seven_ at night.
December 30. I was visited by four or five young persons under concern
for their souls, most of whom were very lately awakened. They wept
much while I discoursed to them and endeavoured to press upon them the
necessity of _flying_ to Christ without delay, for salvation.
December 31. I spent some hours this day in visiting my people from
house to house: and scarce left a house, without leaving some or other
of its inhabitants in tears, solicitously engaged to obtain an interest
in Christ.
The Indians are now gathered together from all quarters to this
place, and have built them little cottages, so that more than _twenty_
families live within a quarter of a mile of me, a very convenient
situation in regard both of public and private instruction.
Wednesday, January 1, 1745‒6. I am this day beginning a _New-Year_;
and God has carried me through numerous trials and labours in the ♦year
past. He has amazingly supported my feeble frame; for “having obtained
help of God, I continue to this day.” O that I might live nearer to God,
this year than I did last! The business that I have been enabled to go
through, I know, has been as great as nature is able to bear up under,
and what would have sunk me quite, without special support. But alas!
though I have done the labours and endured the trials, with what spirit
I have done the one, and borne the other? How cold has my heart often
been! and how little have I eyed the glory of God! I have found, that
I could have no peace without filling up all my time with labours; and
thus “necessity has been laid upon me;” yea, in that respect, I have
loved to labour; but I could not sensibly labour for _God_, as I would
have done. May I for the future be enabled more sensibly to make the
glory of God my _all_.
♦ “day” replaced with “year” per Errata
January 2. I visited some persons newly come among us, who had scarce
ever heard any thing of Christianity (but the name). I endeavoured to
instruct them in the first principles of religion in the most easy and
familiar manner I could.
There are strangers from remote parts almost continually dropping in,
so that I have occasion repeatedly to open and inculcate the _first
principles_ of Christianity.
Near night I proposed to have proceeded in my usual method of
catechising. But while we were engaged in the first prayer, the power
of God came upon the assembly in so remarkable a manner, that I thought
it more expedient to insist upon the plentiful provision made for
the redemption of perishing sinners, and to press them to a _speedy_
acceptance of the _great salvation_, than to ask them questions about
_doctrinal_ points.
I baptized two persons this day; one adult and one child.
The woman has discovered an heavenly frame of mind, from her first
reception of comfort. One morning in particular she came to see me,
discovering an unusual joy in her countenance; and when I inquired
the reason of it, she replied, “That God had made her feel that it
was _right_ for him to do as he pleased with all things? She moreover
inquired, whether I was not sent to preach to the Indians by some good
people a great way off.” I replied, Yes, by the good people in Scotland.
She answered, “that her heart loved those good people so, the evening
before, that she could scarce help praying for them all night, her
heart would go to God for them.”
*Wednesday, January 8. My heart was drawn out after God: my soul
was refreshed and quickened; I had great hopes of the ingathering of
precious souls to Christ; not only among my own people, but others also.
I was sweetly resigned under my bodily weakness; willing to live or die,
and desirous to labour for God to the utmost of my strength.
Friday, January 10. My soul was in a calm, composed frame, and my
heart filled with love to all the world; and Christian simplicity and
tenderness seemed to prevail and reign with me. Near night, I visited a
serious baptist minister, and had some agreeable conversation with him.
January 13. I was visited by divers persons under deep concern; one
of whom was newly awakened.――It is a most agreeable work to treat with
souls who are solicitously inquiring, “what they shall do to be saved?”
And as we are never to “be weary in well-doing,” so the obligation is
peculiarly strong when the work is so lively. And yet my health is so
much impaired, and my spirit so wasted with my labours, and solitary
manner of living, (there being no human creature in the house with me.)
that their repeated and almost incessant application to me for help
and direction, are sometimes exceeding burdensome. And what contributes
much towards this difficulty is, that I am obliged to spend _much_
time communicating a _little_ matter to them; there being often many
things necessary to be premised, before I can speak directly to what
I principally aim at; which things would readily be taken for granted,
where there was a competency of knowledge.
Lord’s-day, January 19. I catechised in my ordinary method. Numbers
were much affected.――Convictions powerfully revived.――Divers of the
Christians refreshed and strengthened.――And one weary _heavy laden_
soul, I have reason to hope, was brought to solid comfort in Christ.
*He told me, he had often heard me say, that persons must _see_ and
_feel_ themselves helpless and _undone_; that they must give up all
hope of saving themselves by their _own doings_, in order to their
coming to Christ for salvation. And he had long been striving after
this; supposing this would be an excellent frame of mind: that God
would have respect to _this_ frame, and bestow eternal life upon
him.――――But when he came to feel himself in this helpless _undone_
condition, he found it quite contrary to all his thoughts: so that it
was not the _same_, nor indeed any thing _like_ the frame he had been
seeking after. Instead of its being a _good_ frame of mind, he now
found nothing but _badness_ in himself, and saw it for ever impossible
for him to make himself any better. He was amazed he had never _before_
seen that it was utterly impossible for him, by all his contrivances
and endeavours, to do any thing _that way_.――――Instead of imagining
that God would be pleased with him for the sake of this frame of mind,
he saw clearly it would be just with God to send him to eternal misery;
and that there was _no goodness_ in what he then felt; for he could not
help seeing, that he was naked, sinful, and miserable, and there was
nothing in such a sight to deserve God’s love or pity.
In _this_ frame of mind he came to public worship this evening, and
while I was inviting sinners to come to Christ naked and empty, without
_any_ goodness of _their own_ to recommend them to his acceptance;
he thought, that he had often tried to come and give up his heart
to Christ, and he used to hope, that some time or other he should be
_able_ to do so. But now he was convinced _he could not_, and it seemed
utterly vain for him ever to try _any more_: nor did he now hope for a
better opportunity hereafter, as he had formerly done, because he saw,
and was fully ♦convinced, his own strength would for ever fail.
♦ “conviced” replaced with “convinced”
*While he was musing in this manner, he saw, he said, with his heart
(which is a common phrase among them) something that was unspeakably
good and lovely, and what he had never seen before; and “this stole
away his heart whether he would or no.” He did not, he said, know what
it was he saw. He did not say, “this is Jesus Christ;” but it was such
glory and beauty as he never saw before. He did not now give away his
heart _so_ as he had formerly attempted to do, but it _went away of
itself_ after that glory he then discovered. He used to try to make a
bargain with Christ, to give up his heart to him, that he might have
eternal life _for it_. But now he thought nothing about himself, but
his mind was wholly taken up with the unspeakable excellency of what
he then beheld.
After some time he was wonderfully pleased with the way of salvation
by Christ: so that it seemed unspeakably better to be saved altogether
by the _mere free grace_ of God in Christ, than to have _any hand_ in
saving himself.――――And the consequence is, that he appears to retain a
relish of divine things, and to maintain a life of true religion.