solemn frame of mind, thankful to God that he had made me in some
measure faithful in addressing precious souls, but grieved that I had
been no more fervent in my work; and tenderly affected towards all
the world, longing that every sinner might be saved; and could not
have entertained any bitterness towards the worst enemy living. In the
evening, I rode to Elisabeth-Town: while riding I was almost constantly
engaged in lifting up my heart to God, lest I should lose that sweet
heavenly solemnity and composure of soul I enjoyed. Afterwards I was
pleased, to think, that God _reigneth_; and thought, I could never be
uneasy with any of his dispensations; but must be entirely satisfied,
whatever trials he should cause me or his church to encounter. I
never felt more divine serenity and composure of mind: I could freely
have left the dearest earthly friend, for the society of “angels,
and spirits of just men made perfect:” my affections soared aloft to
the blessed Author of every dear enjoyment: I viewed the emptiness
and unsatisfactory nature of the most desireable earthly objects, any
further than God is seen in them: and longed for a life of spirituality
and inward purity; without which, I saw, there could be no true
pleasure.
January 28. The Indians in these parts having in times past run
themselves in debt by their excessive drinking; and some having taken
the advantage of them, and arrested sundry of them; whereby it was
supposed their hunting lands might speedily be taken from them: I being
sensible that they could not subsist together in these parts, if these
lands should drop out of their hands, thought it my duly to use my
utmost endeavours to prevent it. And having acquainted the gentlemen
concerned in this _mission_ with the affair, they thought it proper to
expend the money they had been collecting for the _religious_ interests
of the Indians, (at least a part of it,) for the discharging of their
debts, and securing of these lands.――And having received orders from
them, I answered, in behalf of the Indians, _Eighty-two pounds five
shillings_, New-Jersey currency.
January 31. This day the person I had engaged for a _school-master_
among the Indians, arrived among us, and was heartily welcomed by my
people.――――Whereupon I distributed several dozen of _primers_ among the
children and young people.
February 1, 1745‒6. My school-master entered upon his business among
the Indians.――He has generally about thirty children and young persons
in his school in the day-time, and about _fifteen_ married people in
his evening-school. The number of the latter sort of persons being less
than it would be, if they could be more constant at home.
In the evening I catechised in my usual method. Towards the close of
my discourse, a surprising power seemed to attend the word. One man
considerably in years, who had been a remarkable drunkard, a conjurer
and murderer, that was awakened some months before, was now brought
to great extremity, so that he trembled for hours together, and
apprehended himself just dropping into hell, without any power to
rescue or relieve himself.――Divers others appeared under great concern
as well as he, and solicitous to obtain a saving change.
[Monday, February 10. He set out on a journey to the Forks of Delaware,
to visit the Indians there. He performed the journey under great
weakness, and sometimes was exercised with much pain. He arrived at
his own house at the Forks, on Friday.]
I baptized three persons, two adults, and one child. There was a
considerable melting in the assembly, while I was administering the
ordinance.
God has been pleased to own and bless the administration of _this_, as
well as of his other _ordinances_, among the Indians. There are some
here that have been powerfully awakened at seeing others baptized: And
some have obtained relief and comfort, just when this ordinance has
been administered.
Toward night I catechised, God made this a powerful season. There were
many affected.――――Former convictions were powerfully revived. There
was likewise one, who had been a vile drunkard, remarkably awakened.
He appeared to be in great anguish of soul, wept and trembled, and
continued so to do till near midnight.――――There was also a poor _heavy
laden_ soul, who had been long under distress, that was now brought
to a comfortable _calm_, and told me, “She now saw and felt it was
right God should do with her as he pleased.” And added, that the _heavy
burden_ she had lain under, was now removed: that she felt she never
could do any thing to save herself, but must perish for ever if Christ
did not _do all_ for her. But Christ could save her, though she could
_do nothing_ to save herself.
Lord’s-day, February 16. Knowing that divers of the Indians in those
parts were obstinately set against Christianity, I thought it proper to
have some of my people from Crosweeksung with me, in order to converse
with them; hoping it might convince them of the truth, to hear some of
their own nation discoursing of divine things and manifesting earnest
desires that others might be brought out of Heathenish darkness, as
themselves were.
And having taken _half a dozen_ of the most knowing persons, I this day
met with them and the Indians of this place, (sundry of whom could not
have been prevailed upon to attend the meeting, had it not been for
these Indians) and preached to them.――Some of them who had, in times
past, been extremely averse to Christianity, now behaved soberly; the
word of God fell with such weight, that several seemed to be stunned,
and expressed a willingness to “hear me again of these matters.”
Those few Indians then present, who used to be my hearers in these
parts, (some having removed from hence to Crosweeksung) seemed glad to
see me again, although they had been so much attacked by some of the
Pagans, that they were almost afraid to manifest their friendship.
In the evening I was in a composed frame of mind. It was exceeding
refreshing to think, that God had been with me, affording me some good
measure of assistance. I found freedom in prayer and thanksgiving to
God: and found my soul sweetly enlarged in prayer. Blessed be the Lord,
that ever I am enabled to do any thing for his kingdom. Blessed be God
who enables me to be faithful, I enjoyed more resolution for God, and
more refreshment of spirit, than I have been favoured with for many
weeks past.
February 17. I discoursed from Acts viii. 5‒8. A divine influence
seemed to attend the word. Sundry of the Indians here appeared to be
somewhat awakened, and manifested a concern by their earnest attention,
tears and sobs. My people from Crosweeksung continued with them day
and night, inculcating the truths I had taught them: and sometimes
prayed and sung psalms among them; discoursing with each other, in
their hearing of the great things God had done for _them_, and for the
Indians from whence they came; which seemed to take more effect upon
them, than when they directed their discourses immediately to them.
February 18. I preached to an assembly of Irish people near fifteen
miles distant from the Indians.
February 19. I preached to the Indians again, after having spent a
considerable time in conversing with them privately. There appeared
a great solemnity, and some concern and affection among the Indians
belonging to these parts, as well as a sweet melting among those
who came with me.――――Divers of the Indians here seemed to have their
prejudices removed, and appeared well disposed to hear the word of God.
February 20. I preached to a small assembly of High-Dutch people, who
had seldom heard the gospel preached, and were, (some of them at least)
very ignorant; but have divers of them lately been put upon an inquiry
after the way of salvation. They gave wonderful attention, and some
of them were much affected, and afterwards said, (as I was informed)
that they never had been so much enlightened about the way of salvation
in their whole lives before. They requested me to tarry with them,
or come again and preach to them. And it grieved me that I could not
comply with their request, for I could not but be affected with their
circumstances; they being as “sheep not having a shepherd.”
February 21. I preached to a number of people, many of them Low-Dutch,
sundry of the High-Dutch attended, though _eight_ or _ten_ miles
distant from their houses.――Divers of the Indians also belonging to
these parts, came of their own accord with my people (from Crosweeksung)
two in particular, who in the last Sabbath, opposed and ridiculed
Christianity.
February 20. I preached to the Indians. They seemed more cordial to
Christianity than before, and some appeared much affected.
My spirits were supported, though my bodily strength was much wasted.
O that God would be gracious to the souls of these poor Indians!
God has been very gracious to me this week: he has enabled me to preach
every day; and has given me some assistance, and encouraging prospect
of success in almost every sermon. Blessed be his name. Divers of the
white people have been awakened this week; sundry of the Indians much
cured of prejudice against Christianity, and some seemed to be really
awakened.
[The next day he left the Forks of Delaware, to return to Crosweeksung;
and spent the whole week till Saturday, before he arrived there; but
preached by the way every day, excepting one; and had much inward
comfort, and earnest longings to fill up all his time with the service
of God.]
Lord’s-day, March 2. Some of my people who went up to the Forks of
Delaware with me, being now returned, were accompanied by two of the
Indians belonging to the Forks, who had promised me a speedy visit.
They can scarce go into a house now, but they will meet with Christian
conversation, whereby they may be both instructed and awakened.
I know of no assembly of Christians, where there seems to be so much
of the presence of God, where brotherly love so much prevails, as in
my _own congregation_: although not more than nine months ago, they
were worshipping _devils_ and _dumb idols_, under the power of Pagan
darkness and superstition. Amazing change! Effected by nothing less
than divine power and grace!
Their present situation is so compact and commodious, that they are
quickly called together with only the sound of a Conk-shell, (a shell
like that of a Perriwinkle) so that they have frequent opportunities of
attending religious exercises publicly; which seems to be a great means,
under God, of keeping alive their impressions of divine things.
*Thursday, March 6. I walked alone in the evening, and enjoyed comfort
in prayer, beyond what I have of late enjoyed: my soul rejoiced in my
_pilgrimage-state_. I was delighted with the thought of labouring and
_enduring hardness_ for God: and confided in God that he “never would
leave me nor forsake me,” to the end of my race. Oh, may I obtain mercy
of God to be faithful, to my dying moment!
March 8. I catechised in the evening. My people answered the questions
proposed to them well. I can perceive their knowledge in religion
increases daily.――――And what is still more desirable, the divine
influence among them, appears still to continue. The divine presence
seemed to be in the assembly this evening. Some, who are Christians
_indeed_, were melted with a sense of the divine goodness, and their
own barrenness and ingratitude.――Convictions also appeared to revive
in several; so it might justly be called “an evening of power.”
Lord’s day, March 9. I preached from Luke x. 38‒42. The word of
God was attended with energy. Numbers were concerned to obtain the
_one thing needful_. Several that have given good evidences of being
truly converted, were much affected with a sense of their want of
spirituality; and saw the need they stood in of _growing in grace_. And
most that had had any impressions of divine things in times past, now
felt those impressions revived.
In the afternoon, I proposed to have catechised in my usual method. But
while we were engaged in the first prayer, in the Indian language, (as
usual) a great part of the assembly was so much moved, that I thought
it proper to omit the questions, and insist upon the most practical
truths.
There appeared to be a powerful influence in the congregation.
Those truly pious, were so deeply affected with a sense of their own
_barrenness_, and their unworthy treatment of the blessed Redeemer,
that they _looked on him as pierced_ by themselves, _and mourned_,
yea, some of them were _in bitterness as for a first-born_.――Some
poor awakened sinners also appeared to be in anguish of soul to obtain
an interest in Christ. So that there was _a great mourning_ in the
assembly: many heavy groans and tears! and one or two persons newly
come among us, were considerably awakened.
After public worship many came to my house, where we sung and
discoursed; and the presence of God seemed here also to be in the
midst of us.
*While we were singing, there was one (the woman mentioned in my
journal of February 9.) who, was “filled with joy unspeakable and
full of glory,” and could not but burst forth in prayer and praises
to God before us all, with many tears, crying sometimes in English,
and sometimes in Indian “O blessed Lord, do come, do come! O do take
me away, do let me die and go to Jesus Christ! I am afraid if I live
I shall sin again! O do let me die now! O dear Jesus, do come! I
cannot stay, I cannot stay! O how can I live in this world! do take
my soul away from this sinful place! O let me never sin any more!”――In
this ecstasy she continued some time, uttering these and such like
expressions incessantly.
*When she had a little recovered, I asked her, if Christ was now sweet
to her soul? Whereupon, turning to me with tears in her eyes, she said,
“I have many times heard you speak of the goodness and the sweetness
of Christ, that he was better than all the world. But O! I knew nothing
what you meant, I never believed you! I never believed you! But now
I know it is true!”――I answered, And do you see enough in Christ for
the greatest of sinners? She replied, “O! enough, enough! for all
the sinners in the world, if they would but come.” And when I asked
her, if the could not tell them of the goodness of Christ: turning
herself about to some poor Christless souls who stood by, and were much
affected, she said, “O! there is enough in Christ for you, if you would
but come! O strive, strive to give up your hearts to him!”――And upon
hearing something of the glory of heaven mentioned, she again fell into
the same ecstasy, repeating her former expressions, “O dear Lord, do
let me go! O what shall I do, what shall I do! I want to go to Christ!
I cannot live! O do let me die!”
She continued in this sweet frame for more than two hours, before she
was well able to get home.
I am sensible there may be great joys, where there is no evidence of
their being well grounded. But in the present case there seemed to be
no evidence wanting, in order to prove this joy to be divine, either
in regard of its preparatives, attendants, or consequents.
Of all the persons I have seen, I scarce ever saw one more bowed
under convictions of sin; and scarce any who seemed to have a greater
acquaintance with her own heart than she had.
And as she was remarkably sensible of her stubbornness under conviction,
so she was no less remarkably reconciled to divine grace, before she
obtained relief. Since which she has constantly breathed the spirit
of a new creature: crying after Christ, not through fear of _hell_
as before, but with strong desires after him as her only satisfying
_portion_: and has many times wept bitterly, because she could not love
him.――When I have asked her, Why she appeared so sorrowful, and whether
it was because she was afraid of hell? She would answer, “No, I be
not distressed about _that_; but my heart is so wicked I _cannot love_
Christ;” and thereupon burst out into tears.――But although this has
been the habitual frame of her mind for several weeks, yet she never
had any remarkable comfort till this evening.
The _attendants_ of this comfort, were such as abundantly discovered
that it was truly “joy in the Holy Ghost.”――――_Now_ she viewed divine
truths as _living realities_; and could say, “I know these things are
so, I feel they are true!”――_Now_ her soul was resigned to the divine
will in the most tender points; so that when I said to her, What if God
should take away your husband, (who was sick,) how do you think you
could bear that? She replied, “He belongs to God, and not to me; he may
do with him just what he pleases.”――_Now_ she had the most tender sense
of the evil of sin, and discovered the utmost aversion to it.――_Now_
she could freely trust her _all_ with God for time and eternity. And
when I queried with her, how she could be willing to die, and leave
her little infant: and what she thought would become of it in case
she should? She answered, “God will take care of it. It belongs to
him.”――_Now_ she appeared to have the most humbling sense of her
own unworthiness and inability to preserve herself from sin, and
to persevere in holiness. And I thought I had never seen such an
appearance of _ecstasy_ and _humility_ meeting in any one person.
The consequents of this joy are no less desirable than its attendants.
She since appears to be a most tender, broken-hearted, affectionate,
devout, and humble Christian, as exemplary in life and conversation as
any person in my congregation.
March 10. Toward night the Indians met together of their own accord,
and sang, prayed, and discoursed of divine things. At this time there
was much affection among them. Some appeared to be melted with divine
things, and others seemed much concerned for their souls.
I baptized the _woman_ mentioned in my journal of last Lord’s-day; who
appeared to be in a devout, and excellent frame of mind.
My house being thronged with people in the evening, I spent the time
with them, till my nature was almost spent.――They are so unwearied in
religious exercises, and unsatiable in their thirsting after _Christian
knowledge_, that I can sometimes scarce avoid labouring so, as greatly
to exhaust my strength.
March 19. Some of the persons that went with me to the Forks of
Delaware, having been detained there by the dangerous illness of one
of their company, returned home this day. Whereupon my people met
together of their own accord, to give thanks to God for his preserving
goodness to those who had been absent from them for several weeks, and
recovering mercy to him that had been sick.
Lord’s-day, March 23. There being about fifteen _strangers_, adult
persons, come among us in the _week_ past, divers of whom had never
been in any religious meeting till now, I thought it proper to
discourse this day in a manner suited to their circumstances, and
accordingly attempted it from Hosea xiii. 9, opening in the plainest
manner I could, man’s apostacy and ruined ♦state. After having spoken
some things respecting the being and perfections of God, and his
creation of man in a state of uprightness and happiness, in the
♠afternoon, I endeavoured to open the glorious provision God has made
for the redemption of apostate creatures.
♦ “state, after” replaced with “state. After” per Errata
♠ “afternon” replaced with “afternoon”
Near sun-set I felt an uncommon concern upon my mind, especially for
the poor _strangers_: I visited sundry houses, and discoursed with
them severally, but without much appearance of success, till I came
to a house where divers of the strangers were; and there the word took
effect, first upon some children; then upon divers adult persons that
had been somewhat awakened before, and afterwards upon several of the
Pagan _strangers_.
I continued my discourse till almost every one in the house was melted
into tears; and divers wept aloud, and appeared earnestly concerned
to obtain an interest in Christ. Upon this, numbers soon gathered from
all the houses round about and so thronged the place, that we were
obliged to remove to the house where we meet for public worship. And
the congregation gathering immediately and many appearing remarkably
affected, I discoursed some time from Luke xix. 10, endeavouring to
open the mercy of Christ for _lost_, _helpless_, and _undone_ sinners.
There was much concern in the assembly; and I doubt not but a divine
influence accompanied what was spoken to the hearts of many. There
were five or six of the _strangers_ (men and women) who appeared to be
considerably awakened. And in particular one very rugged young man, who
seemed as if nothing would move him, was now brought to tremble like
the jailor, and weep for a long time.
The Pagans that were awakened seemed at once to put off their savage
roughness, and became sociable and _humane_. When they first came, I
exhorted my people to take pains with them (as they had done with other
strangers from time to time) to instruct them in Christianity. But when
some of them attempted it, the strangers would soon rise up and walk to
other houses. Whereupon some of the serious persons agreed to disperse
themselves into the several parts of the settlement. So that wherever
the _strangers_ went, they met with warm addresses respecting their
souls.――――But _now_ there was no need of using policy in order to get
an opportunity of conversing: for they were so touched with a sense
of their perishing state, as tamely to yield to the closest addresses,
respecting their sin and misery, and their need of an acquaintance with
the great Redeemer.
Monday, March 24. I numbered the Indians, to see how many souls God had
gathered together here, since my coming; and found there was now about
an _hundred and thirty_ persons, old and young. And sundry of those
that are my stated hearers, perhaps _fifteen_ or _twenty_, were absent
at this season. Whereas _few_ were together at my first coming into
these parts, the whole number not amounting to _ten_ persons.
My people going out this day to clear some of their lands about fifteen
miles distant, in order to their settling there together, where they
might attend the public worship of God, have their children schooled,
and at the same time have a conveniency for planting: I thought it
proper to call them together and shew them the duty of labouring with
faithfulness and industry; and that they must not now “be slothful
in business,” as they had ever been in their Pagan state. And having
given them directions for their work, and recommended them to God, I
dismissed them to their business. In the evening I read and expounded
the substance of the third chapter of the Acts. Numbers seemed to melt
under the word.――――When I asked them afterwards, whether they did not
now feel that their hearts were wicked? One replied, “Yes, she felt it
now.” Although before she came here she had said, “Her heart was not
wicked, and she never had done any thing that was bad in her life.” And
this indeed seems to be the case with them, universally in the Pagan
state. (And in the Christian too!)
They seem to have no _consciousness_ of sin and guilt, unless they can
charge themselves with some _gross acts_ of sin.
Monday, March 24. After the Indians were gone to their work, I got
alone and poured out my soul to God, that he would smile upon these
feeble beginners, and that he would settle an Indian town, that might
be a _mountain of holiness_; and found my soul much refreshed, and
much enlarged for Zion’s interest, and for numbers of dear friends
in particular. My sinking spirits were revived, and I felt animated
in the service God has called me to. This was the dearest hour I have
enjoyed for many days, if not weeks. I found an encouraging hope, that
something would be done for God, and that God would use and help me in
his work. And Oh how sweet were the thoughts of labouring for God, when
I had any hope that ever I should succeed.
[The next day, his _school-master_ was taken sick with a pleurisy;
and he spent great part of this week in tending him: which in his weak
state was almost too much for him: he being obliged constantly to wait
upon him, all day, from day to day, and to lie on the floor at night.]
March 29. In the evening I catechised as usual. Treating upon the
“benefits which believers receive from Christ’s death.”――――The
questions were answered with great readiness and propriety. And the
people of God, were sweetly melted in general. There appeared such a
liveliness and vigour in their attendance upon the word of God, and
such eagerness to be made partakers of the _benefits_ then mentioned,
that they seemed to be not only “looking for, but hastening to the
coming of the day of God.” Divine truths seemed to distil upon the
audience with a gentle, but melting efficacy, as the refreshing
“showers upon the new mown grass.” The assembly in general, as well
as those who appear truly religious, were affected with an account
of the blessedness of the godly at death: and most then discovered
an affectionate inclination to cry, “Let me die the death of the
righteous.”
March 31. I called my people together again, and discoursed to them
again on the necessity of their labouring industriously, in order to
their living together, and enjoying the means of grace. And having used
solemn prayer among them, I dismissed them to their work.
Numbers of them both (men and women) offered themselves willingly to
this service; and some appeared affectionately concerned that God might
go with them, and begin their _little town_ for them: that it might be
a place comfortable for them and theirs, in regard both of procuring
the necessaries of life, and attending the worship of God.
Wednesday, April 2. I was exercised with a spiritless frame of mind.
Alas! My days pass away as the _chaff_! It is but little I do, or can
do, that turns to any account; and it is my constant burden that I am
so fruitless in the vineyard of the Lord. Oh that I were _spirit_, that
I might be active for God. This more than any thing else, makes me long,
that “this corruptible might put on incorruption, and this mortal put
on immortality.” God deliver me from the clogs and fetters, and a body
of _death_, that impede my service for him.
Saturday, April 5.――After public worship, a number of my dear Christian
Indians came to my house; with whom I felt a sweet union of soul; my
heart was knit to them; I have not felt such a sweet and fervent _love
to the brethren_, for some time past: and I saw in them appearances of
the same love. This gave me something of a view of the heavenly state;
and particularly that part of the happiness of heaven, which consists
in the _communion of saints_.
Lord’s-day, April 6. I preached from Matthew vii. 21‒23. There were
considerable effects visible in the audience; an earnest attention,
a great solemnity, many tears and sighs. Divers were put upon close
examination of their spiritual slates, by hearing that “not every one
that saith to Christ, Lord, Lord, shall enter into his kingdom.” And
some of them expressed fears least they had deceived themselves, and
taken up a false hope, because they had done so little of the “will of
his Father who is in heaven.”
There was also one man brought under pressing concern for his soul;
which appeared more especially after his retirement from public worship.
And that which, he says, gave him the greatest uneasiness, was, not so
much any particular sin, as that he had never done the will of God at
_all_, and so had no claim to the kingdom of heaven.
In the afternoon I opened to them the _discipline_ of Christ in his
church, and the method in which _offenders_ are to be dealt with. At
this the religious people were much affected, especially when they
heard, that the offender continuing obstinate, must be esteemed “as
an Heathen man, that has no part or lot among God’s visible people.”
_This_ they seemed to have the most awful apprehensions of; a state of
Heathenism, out of which they were so lately brought, appearing very
dreadful to them.
After, public worship I visited sundry houses to see how they spent the
remainder of the sabbath, and to treat with them on the great concerns
of their souls; and the Lord seemed to smile upon my endeavours,
and to make these particular addresses more effectual than my public
discourses.
April 7. I endeavoured to open the institution, nature, and ends of
the Lord’s supper, as well as the qualifications necessary to the right
participation of it. Sundry persons seemed much affected with the love
of Christ in this provision for the comfort of his people, at a season
when himself was just entering upon his sharpest sufferings.
[On Tuesday, he went to a meeting of the Presbytery appointed at
Elisabeth’s-Town. In his way thither, he enjoyed some sweet meditations;
but after he came there, he was (as he expresses it) _under an awful
gloom_, that oppressed his mind. And this continued till Saturday
evening. He spent the sabbath at Staten island; where he preached to
an assembly of Dutch and English, and enjoyed considerable refreshment.
In the evening he returned to Elisabeth’s-Town.]
Monday, April 14. My spirits were refreshed, and my mind composed,
so that I was in a comfortable frame of soul, most of the day. In
the evening my head was clear, my mind serene; I enjoyed sweetness in
secret prayer and meditation. Oh, how free, how comfortable, chearful,
and yet solemn, do I feel when I am in a good measure freed from those
damps and melancholy glooms, that I often labour under!
*Tuesday, April 15. My soul longed for more spirituality: and it was my
burden, that I could do no more for God. Oh, my barrenness is my daily
affliction! Oh, how precious is time: and how it pains me to see it
slide away, while I do so very little to any good purpose! Oh that God
would make me more fruitful and spiritual!
Thursday, April 17. I enjoyed some comfort in prayer, some freedom in
meditation, and composure in my studies. In the evening I preached from
Psalms lxxiii. 28. “But it is good for me to draw near to God.” God
helped me to feel the truth of my text. I was enabled to pour out my
soul to God with great freedom, fervency, and affection: and to speak
with tenderness, and yet with faithfulness: and divine truths seemed
to fall with weight and influence upon the hearers. My heart was melted
for the dear assembly, and I loved every body in it; my soul cried, “Oh
that the dear creatures might be saved! O that God would have mercy on
them!”
Lord’s-day, April 20.¹ I enjoyed some freedom, and exercise of faith
and prayer, especially when I came to pray for Zion. I was free from
gloomy discouragement; and my soul rejoiced in the hopes of Zion’s
prosperity, and the enlargement of the kingdom of the great Redeemer.
¹ This day he entered into the 29th year of his age.
Monday, April 21. I was composed and comfortable most of the day; had
freedom in prayer, several times; especially for Zion’s enlargement and
prosperity. And Oh, how refreshing were these hopes to my soul! Oh that
the kingdom of the Lord might come.
Tuesday, April 22. My mind was remarkably free from melancholy damps,
and animated in my work, I found such vigour and resolution in the
service of God, that the _mountains_ seemed to become a _plain_ before
me. Oh, blessed be God for an interval of refreshment, and fervent
resolution in my Lord’s work! In the evening, my soul was refreshed in
secret prayer, and my heart drawn out for divine blessings; especially
for the church of God, for my own people, and for dear friends in
remote places. Oh that Zion might prosper, and precious souls be
brought home to God!
April 25. Having appointed the next Lord’s-day for the administration
of the Lord’s supper, this day was set apart for solemn fasting and
prayer, to implore the blessing of God upon our design; and to intreat
that his presence might be with us in our approach to his table.
The solemnity was observed, not only by those who proposed to
communicate, but by the whole congregation.――In the former part of the
day, I endeavoured to open to my people the nature of a _fast_, and
to instruct them in the duties of such a solemnity.――In the afternoon
I insisted upon the special reasons there were for our now engaging
in these solemn exercises; both in regard of the need we stood in
of divine assistance, in order to a due preparation for the sacred
ordinance; and in respect of the manifest decline of God’s work here,
as to the conviction and conversion of sinners.
The worship of God was attended with great solemnity and reverence,
with much tenderness and many tears, and there was some appearance of
divine power upon those who had been awakened some time before.
After repeated prayer, I led them to a solemn renewal of their
_baptismal covenant_, wherein they had explicitly given up themselves
to God, the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, avouching him to be their
God; and at the same time renouncing their heathenish vanities, and
solemnly engaging to take the word of God for the _rule of their lives_,
promising to walk together in love, to watch over themselves, and one
another; to lead lives of seriousness and devotion, and to discharge
the _relative_ duties incumbent upon them.
This solemn transaction was attended with much seriousness; and at the
same time with the utmost readiness and chearfulness; and an union and
harmony of soul seemed to crown the whole.
April 26. I catechised those that designed to partake of the Lord’s
supper the next day, upon the institution, nature and end of that
ordinance; and had abundant satisfaction respecting their knowledge.
They likewise appeared, to have an affecting sense of the solemnity
of the ordinance, and to be humbled under a sense of their own
unworthiness; and earnestly concerned that they may be duly prepared
for an attendance upon it. Their hearts were full of love one toward
another, and this they seemed much concerned to maintain, and bring to
the Lord’s table with them.
I administered the Lord’s supper to _twenty-three_ Indians, (the number
of _men_ and _women_ being nearly equal,) divers others, to the number
of five or six, being now absent at the Forks of Delaware.
The ordinance was attended with great solemnity, and with the utmost
tenderness and affection. In the performance of the _sacramental_
actions, especially in the distribution of the _bread_, they seemed
to be affected in a most lively manner, as if “Christ had been”
really “crucified before them.” And the words of the institution, when
repeated, seemed to be entertained with the _same full_ and _firm_
belief and affectionate engagement of soul, as if the Lord Jesus Christ
himself had _personally_ spoken to them.
*Having rested some time after the administration of the _sacrament_,
I walked from house to house, and conversed particularly with most of
the _communicants_, and found they had been refreshed at the Lord’s
table “as with new wine.” And never did I see such an appearance of
_Christian love_ among any people. One might well have cried with an
agreeable surprize, “Behold how they love one another!”
Toward night I discoursed on the immediate design of Christ’s death,
“To redeem his people from all iniquity.”
This appeared to be a season of divine power. The religious were much
refreshed, and seemed remarkably tender, full of love, joy, peace, and
desires of being completely “redeemed from all iniquity.” Convictions
also appeared to be revived in many instances; and divers persons were
awakened whom I had never observed under any religious impressions
before.
_Such_ was the influence which attended our assembly, that it seemed
grievous to conclude the public worship. And the congregation when
♦dismissed, although it was then almost dark, appeared loth to leave
the place.
♦ “dismised” replaced with “dismissed”
April 28. I concluded the solemnity with a discourse upon John xiv. 15.
“If ye love me keep my commandments.” There appeared great tenderness
in the audience in general, but especially in the _communicants_.――――O
how free, how engaged and affectionate did _these_ appear in the
service of God! They seemed willing to have their “ears bored to the
door posts of God’s house,” and to be his servants for ever.
*Observing numbers in this excellent frame, I thought it proper to
improve this advantageous season, as Hezekiah did his great _passover_,
(2 Chronicles xxxi.) in order to promote the blessed reformation among
them: and accordingly proposed to them that they should _renewedly_
enter into covenant before God, to watch over themselves and one
another. And especially that they would watch against the sin of
_drunkenness_.――They chearfully complied and explicitly joined in that
covenant; whereupon I proceeded in the most solemn manner to call God
to _witness_ their sacred engagement; minded them of the greatness
of the guilt they would contract in the violation of it; and that God
would be a terrible _witness_ against those who should presume to do
so, in the “great and notable day of the Lord.”
*It was a season of amazing solemnity, and a _divine awe_ appeared upon
the face of the whole assembly! Affectionate sighs, and tears, were
frequent in the audience: and I doubt not but many silent cries were
sent up to the _fountain_ of grace, for grace to fulfil these solemn
engagements.
[On Tuesday he went to Elisabeth-Town, to the meeting of the Presbytery:
and spent the time in a free and comfortable state of mind.]
Saturday, May 3. I rode from Elisabeth-Town home to my people, near
Cranberry; whither they are removed, and where I hope God will settle
them as a Christian congregation. I was refreshed in lifting up my
heart to God, while riding; and enjoyed a thankful frame of spirit.
May 4. My people being now removed to their _lands_; I this day visited
them, and preached to them from Mark iv. 5. shewing the reason there
was to fear, lest many hopeful beginnings, might prove abortive, like
the “seed dropped upon stony places.”
May 5. I visited them again, and gave them directions relating to their
business.
I daily discover more and more of what importance it is, that they
become industrious, and able to raise the necessaries of life _within
themselves_; for their present method of living greatly exposes them to
temptations of various kinds.
*Wednesday, May 7. I spent most of the day in writing, and enjoyed
freedom in my work. I was favoured with comfortable meditations, this
day, and in the evening, was in a sweet composed frame of mind: pleased
and delighted to leave all with God, respecting myself, for time and
eternity, and respecting the people of my charge and dear friends:
I had no doubt but that God would take care of me, and of his own
interest among my people; and was enabled to use freedom in prayer,
as a child with a tender father.
*Thursday, May 8. In the evening I enjoyed a tender melting frame in
secret prayer, wherein my soul was drawn out for the interest of Zion,
and comforted with the lively hope of the appearing of the kingdom of
the great Redeemer. These were sweet moments: I felt loth to go to bed,
and grieved that sleep was necessary. However, I lay down with a tender
reverential fear of God, sensible that “his favour is life,” and his
smiles, infinitely better than life itself.
May 9. I preached in the open wilderness; the Indians having as yet no
house for public worship in this place, nor scarce any _shelter_ for
themselves.――――Divine truths made considerable impressions, and it was
a season of solemnity, tenderness, and affection.
I baptized this day, the ♦conjurer and murderer mentioned before, such
a remarkable instance of divine grace, that I cannot omit some brief
account of him.
♦ “conjuror” replaced with “conjurer”
He lived near, and sometimes attended me in the Forks of Delaware for
more than a year together; but was extremely attached to strong drink,
and seemed to be no ways reformed. In this time he likewise _murdered_
a young Indian, which threw him into a kind of _desperation_, so that
he kept from me, and refused to hear me preach for several months,
till I had an opportunity of conversing freely with him, and giving him
encouragement, that even his sin might be forgiven for Christ’s sake.
But that which was the worst was his _conjuration_. He was one of them
who are called _powwows_ among the Indians: and notwithstanding his
attendance upon my preaching, still followed his old _charms_, “giving
out that he himself was some great one, and to him they gave heed,”
supposing him to be possessed of a _great power_. So that when I have
instructed them respecting the _miracles_ wrought by Christ, and
mentioned them as evidences of his _divine_ mission, they have quickly
observed the wonders which this man performed by his _magic charms_;
which seemed to be a fatal obstruction to their receiving the gospel.
And I often thought, it would be a great favour to the Indians, if God
would take that wretch out of the world: but God, “whose thoughts are
not as man’s thoughts,” has been pleased to take a much more desirable
method; a method agreeable to his own merciful nature, advantageous to
his own interest among the Indians, as well as to the poor soul himself.
The first genuine concern for his soul was excited by seeing my
interpreter and his wife baptized at the Forks of Delaware, July 21,
1745. Which so prevailed upon him that he followed me down to
Crosweeksung in the beginning of August, and there continued for
several weeks in the season of the most powerful awakening among the
Indians; at which time he was more effectually awakened: and then,
he says, upon his “feeling the spirit of God in his heart,” (as he
expresses it) his spirit of conjuration left him entirely; that he
has had no more power of that nature since, than any other man. And he
declares that he does not so much as know how he used to _charm_ and
conjure; and that he could not do any thing of that nature, if he was
ever so desirous.
He continued under convictions all the fall, and former part of the
winter past, but was not so deeply exercised till January; and then the
word of God took such hold upon him, that he knew not what to do, or
where to turn.――He then told me, that when he used to hear me preach
from time to time in the fall of the year, my preaching pricked his
heart, but did not bring him to so _great_ distress, because he still
hoped he could do _something_ for his own relief: but now, he said, I
drove him up into “such a sharp corner,” that he had no way to turn.
He continued under the heavy burden of a _wounded spirit_, till he was
brought into the utmost _agony of soul_.
After this he was brought to a kind of calmness; he appeared perfectly
sedate; although he had no sure hope of salvation.
*I observed him remarkably composed, and asked him how he did? He
replied, “It is done, it is done, it is all done now.” I asked him what
he meant? He answered, “I can never do any more to save myself; it is
all done for ever, I can do no more.” I queried with him, whether he
could not do a _little_ more rather than to go to hell. He replied, “My
heart is dead, I can never help myself.” I asked him, what he thought
would become of him then? He answered, “I must go to hell.” I asked
him, if he thought it was right that God should send him to hell? He
replied, “O it is right. The devil has been in me ever since I was
born.” I asked him, if he felt this when he was in such great distress
the evening before? He answered, “No, I did not think it was right. I
thought God would send me to hell, and that I was then dropping into
it; but my heart quarrelled with God, and would not say it was _right_
he should send me there. But now I know it is right, for I have always
served the devil, and my heart has no goodness in it now, but it is
as bad as ever it was,”――I scarce ever saw any person more effectually
brought off from a dependence upon his own endeavours for salvation.
In this frame of mind he continued for several days, passing sentence
of condemnation upon himself, and constantly owning, that it would
be right he should be damned, and that he expected this would be his
portion. And yet it was plain he had a secret hope of mercy, which kept
him from pressing distress: so that instead of being sad and dejected,
his very countenance appeared pleasant and agreeable.
*It was remarkable in this season that he seemed to have a great love
to the people of God, and nothing ♦affected him so much as the thoughts
of being separated from them. This seemed to be a very dreadful part
of the hell he thought himself doomed to.――It was likewise remarkable,
that in this season he was most diligent in the use of all means for
his salvation; although he had the clearest view of the _insufficiency_
of means to afford him help.
♦ “effected” replaced with “affected” per Errata
*After he had continued in this frame of mind more than a _week_, while
I was discoursing publicly, he seemed to have a lively view of the
excellency of Christ, and the way of salvation by him, which melted him
into tears, and filled him with admiration, comfort, and praise to God;
since which he has appeared to be an humble, devout, and affectionate
Christian; serious and exemplary in his conversation and behaviour,
frequently complaining of his want of warmth, life, and activity, and
yet frequently favoured with quickening influences. And in all respects
he bears the marks of one “created anew in Christ Jesus.”
His zeal for the cause of God was pleasing to me, when he was with me
at the Forks of Delaware in February last. There being an old Indian
who threatened to _bewitch_ me and my people who accompanied me; _this_
man challenged him to do his worst, telling him, that himself had been
as great a _conjurer_ as he, and that notwithstanding as soon as he
felt that word in his heart which these people loved, his power of
conjuring immediately left him.――And so it would you, said he, if you
did but once feel it in your heart; and you have no power to touch one
of them.
Saturday, May 10. I rode to Allen’s-Town, to assist in the
administration of the Lord’s supper. In the afternoon I preached from
Titus ii. 14. God was pleased to carry me through with some freedom;
and yet to deny me that enlargement I longed for. In the evening my
soul mourned, that I had treated so excellent a subject in so defective
a manner. And if my discourse had met with the utmost applause from
all the world, it would not have given me any satisfaction: Oh, it
grieved me to think, that I had had no more holy warmth, that I had
been no more melted in discoursing of Christ’s death, and the design
of it! Afterwards, I enjoyed freedom and fervency in secret and family
prayer, and longed much for the presence of God to attend his word and
ordinances the next day.
Lord’s-day, May 11. I assisted in the administration of the Lord’s
supper; but enjoyed little enlargement. In the afternoon I went to
the house of God weak and sick in soul, as well as feeble in body: and
longed, that the people might be edified with divine truths, and that
an honest fervent testimony might be borne for God; but knew not how it
was possible for _me_ to do any thing of that kind, to any good purpose.
Yet God, who is rich in mercy, was pleased to give me assistance, both
in prayer and preaching: God helped me to wrestle for his presence in
prayer, and to tell him, that he had promised, “Where two or three are
met together in his name, there he would be in the midst of them;” and
pleaded, that for his truth’s sake he would be with us. And blessed be
God, it was sweet to my soul, thus to plead, and rely on God’s promises.
I discoursed upon Luke ix. 30. “And behold there talked with him two
men, which were Moses and Elias; who appeared in glory, and spake
of his decease, which he should accomplish at Jerusalem.” I enjoyed
special freedom, from the beginning to the end of my discourse. Things
pertinent to the subject were abundantly presented to my view; and such
a fullness of matter, that I scarce knew how to dismiss the various
heads I had occasion to touch upon. And, blessed be the Lord, I was
favoured with fervency and power, as well as freedom; so that the
word of God seemed to awaken the attention of a stupid audience, to a
considerable degree. I was inwardly refreshed with the consolations of
God; and could with my whole heart say, “Though there be no fruit in
the vine, &c. yet will I rejoice in the Lord.”
Friday, May 16. I enjoyed some agreeable conversation with a dear
minister, which was blessed to my soul; my heart was warmed, and my
soul engaged to live to God; so that I longed to exert myself with
more vigour, than ever I had done in his cause; and those words were
quickening to me, “Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bring forth
much fruit.” Oh, my soul longed, and wished, and prayed, to be enabled
to live to God with constancy and ardour! In the evening, God was
pleased to shine upon me in secret prayer, and draw out my soul after
himself: and I had freedom in supplication for myself, but much more
in intercession for others: so that I was sweetly constrained to
say, “Lord, use me as thou wilt; do as thou wilt with me: but Oh,
promote thine own cause! Zion is thine; Oh visit thine heritage! Oh
let thy kingdom come! Oh let thy blessed interest be advanced in the
world!” When I attempted to look to God, respecting my settling in my
congregation, which seems to be necessary, and yet contrary to my fixed
intention for years past, as well as my disposition, which has been,
and still is, to spend my life in preaching the gospel from place to
place, and gathering souls _afar off_ to Jesus the great Redeemer; when
I attempted to look to God with regard to these things, I could only
say, “The will of the Lord be done: it is no matter for me.”
*The same frame of mind I felt with respect to another important affair
I have lately had some serious thoughts of: I could say, with the
utmost calmness and composure, “Lord, if it be most for thy glory, let
me proceed in it: but if thou seest that it will in any wise hinder my
usefulness in thy cause, Oh prevent my proceeding: for all I want, is
such circumstances as may best capacitate me to do service for God in
the world.” Oh, how sweet was this evening to my soul! I knew not how
to go to bed; and when got to bed, longed for some way to employ time
for God to some excellent purpose.
Saturday, May 17. I walked out in the morning, and felt much of the
same frame I enjoyed the evening before: had my heart enlarged in
praying for the advancement of the kingdom of Christ, and found the
utmost freedom in leaving all my concerns with God.
*I find _discouragement_ to be an exceeding _hindrance_ to my spiritual
fervency and affection: but when God enables me to find that I have
done something for him, this animates me, so that I could break through
all hardships, undergo any labours, and nothing seems too much either
to do or suffer. But Oh, what a death it is, to strive, and strive;
to be always in a _hurry_, and yet do _nothing_. Alas, alas, that time
flies away, and I do so little for God!
Lord’s-day, May 18. I felt my own utter insufficiency for my work:
God made me to see, that I was a child; yea, that I was a fool. I
discoursed both parts of the day, from Revelation iii. 20. “Behold I
stand at the door, and knock.” God gave me freedom and power in the
latter part of my (forenoon’s) discourse, although in the former part
of it, I felt peevish and provoked with the unmannerly behaviour of the
_white_ people, who crouded in between my people and me. But blessed
be God I got those shackles off before the middle of my discourse, and
was favoured with a sweet frame of spirit in the latter part of the
exercise: was full of love, warmth, and tenderness, in addressing my
dear people.――In the intermission-season I could not but discourse
to my people on the kindness and patience of Christ in _standing_ and
_knocking at the door_.――In the evening, I was grieved that I had done
so little for God. Oh that I could be _a flame of fire_ in the service
of my God!
♦*Thursday, May 22. In the evening I was in a frame somewhat remarkable:
I had apprehended for several days, that it was a design of providence
I should _settle_ among my people; and had in my own mind began to make
provision for it: and yet was never quite pleased with the thoughts of
being confined to one place. Nevertheless I seemed to have some freedom,
because the congregation was one that God had enabled me to gather
from among Pagans. For I never could feel any freedom to “enter into
other men’s labour,” and settle where the “gospel was preached before;”
God has never given me any liberty in that respect, either since or
for some years before I began to preach. But God having succeeded my
labours, in gathering a church among these Indians, I was ready to
think, it might be his design to give me a quiet settlement. And this,
considering the late frequent failure of my spirits, and the need I
stood in of some agreeable society, and my great desire of enjoying
conveniencies for profitable studies, was not altogether disagreeable
to me. And although I still wanted to go about far and wide, in order
to spread the blessed gospel among benighted souls: yet I never had
been so willing to settle for more than five years past, as I was
in the foregoing part of this week. But now these thoughts seemed to
be wholly dashed to pieces; not by necessity, but of choice: for it
appeared to me, that God’s dealings towards me had fitted me for a life
of solitariness and hardship; it appeared to me I had nothing to do
with earth, and consequently nothing to lose, by a total renunciation
of it: and it appeared just right, that I should be destitute of house
and home, and many comforts, which I rejoiced to see others of God’s
people enjoy. The same time I saw so much the excellency of Christ’s
kingdom, and the infinite desirableness of its advancement in the world,
that it swallowed up all my other thoughts; and made me willing to be
a pilgrim or hermit in the wilderness, to my dying moment, if I might
thereby promote the blessed interest of the great Redeemer. And if ever
my soul presented itself to God for his service, without any reserve of
any kind, it did so now. The language of my thoughts (although I spake
no words) now was, “_Here I am, Lord, send me_: send me to _the ends of
the earth_; send me to the rough, the savage Pagans of the wilderness;
send me from all that is called comfort in earth! send me even to death
itself, if it be but in thy service, and to promote thy kingdom.” And
at the same time I had as quick and lively a sense of the value of
worldly comforts, as ever I had; but saw them infinitely overmatched
by the worth of Christ’s kingdom, and the propagation of his blessed
gospel. The quiet settlement, the certain place of abode, the tender
friendship, which I thought I might be likely to enjoy, appeared as
valuable to me, considered absolutely, as ever before: but considered
comparatively, they appeared nothing; compared with an enlargement of
Christ’s kingdom, they vanished like the stars before the rising sun.
And the comfortable accommodations of life appeared valuable, yet I did
surrender myself, soul and body, to the service of God, and promotion
of Christ’s kingdom; though it should be in the loss of them all. I
was constrained, and yet chose to say, “Farewell, friends and earthly
comforts, the dearest of them all, if the Lord calls for it; adieu,
adieu; I’ll spend my life to my latest moments, _in caves and dens
of the earth_, if the kingdom of Christ may thereby be advanced.” I
found extraordinary freedom at this time in pouring out my soul to God,
for his cause; and especially that his kingdom might be extended among
the Indians; and I had a strong hope that God would do it. I continued
wrestling with God in prayer for my dear little flock here; and more
especially for the Indians elsewhere; as well as for dear friends in
one place and another; till it was bed-time, and I feared I should
hinder the family. But Oh, with what reluctancy did I find myself
obliged to consume time in sleep! I longed to be as a _flame of fire_,
continually glowing in the divine service, preaching and building up
Christ’s kingdom, to my latest, my dying moment.
♦ asterisk added per Errata
Friday, May 23. In the morning I was in the same frame of mind. The
glory of Christ’s kingdom so much outshone the pleasure of earthly
accommodations and enjoyments, that they appeared comparatively nothing.
My soul was melted in secret, and I found myself ♦divorced from any
part in this world so that in those affairs that seemed of the greatest
importance, in the present life, and those wherein the tender powers
of the mind are most sensibly touched, I could only say, “The will of
the Lord be done.” Just the same that I felt the evening before, I now
felt the same freedom in prayer for the people of my charge, for the
propagation of the gospel among the Indians, for the enlargement of
Zion in general, and my dear friends in particular; and longed to burn
out in one continued flame for God. If ever I filled up a day with
study and devotion, I was enabled to fill up this day.
♦ “devorced” replaced with “divorced”
Lord’s-day, May 25. There was some degree of divine power attending
the word of God. Sundry wept and appeared considerably affected: and
one who had long been under spiritual trouble, obtained clearness and
comfort, and appeared to “rejoice in God her Saviour.”
I have reason to hope, that God has lately brought home to himself
sundry souls who had long been under spiritual trouble: though there
have been but few instances of persons lately awakened. And those
comforted of late, seem to be brought in, in a more _silent_ way,
neither their concern nor consolation being so _remarkable_, as
appeared among those wrought upon in the beginning.
June 6. I discoursed to my people from part of Isaiah liii.――――The
divine presence appeared to be among us. Divers persons were much
melted and refreshed; and one man in particular, was now brought to see
and feel, in a very lively manner, the impossibility of his doing any
thing to help himself, or bring him into the favour of God by his tears,
prayers, and other religious performances.
Saturday, June 7. I rode to Freehold to assist Mr. Tennent in the
administration of the Lord’s supper. In the afternoon I preached, God
gave me freedom and warmth in my discourse: and his presence was in the
assembly. I was composed, and enjoyed a thankful frame of spirit; and
my soul was grieved that I could not render something to God for his
benefits. O that I could be swallowed up in his praise.
Lord’s-day, June 8. I was agreeably entertained in the forenoon by
a discourse from Mr. Tennent. In the season of communion, I enjoyed
comfort; it was a _time of refreshing_ to me, and to many others. A
number of my dear people sat down by themselves at the last table; at
which time God seemed to be in the midst of them.――――And the thoughts
of what God had done among them were refreshing to me. In the afternoon,
God enabled me to preach with uncommon freedom. Through the goodness
of God, I was favoured with a constant flow of matter, and proper
expressions. In the evening I could not but rejoice in God, and bless
him for the manifestations of grace in the day past. Oh it was a sweet
and solemn day! A season of comfort to the godly, and of awakening to
other souls.
Monday, June 9. I preached the concluding sermon from Genesis v. 24.
“And Enoch walked with God.” God gave me enlargement and fervency in
my discourse; so that I was enabled to speak with plainness and power.
Praised be the Lord, it was a sweet meeting. I found my strength
renewed, even to a wonder; so that I felt much stronger at the
conclusion than in the ♦beginning. I have great reason to bless God for
this solemnity, wherein I have found assistance in addressing others,
and sweetness in my own soul.
♦ “begining” replaced with “beginning”
To-day a considerable number of my people met together early in the
_woods_, and prayed, sang, and conversed of divine things; and were
seen by some of the white people to be affected, and divers of them
in tears.
Afterwards they attended the concluding exercises of the sacramental
solemnity, and then returned home, “rejoicing for all the goodness of
God” they had seen and felt: so that this was a profitable, as well as
a comfortable season to many of my congregation.
Friday, June 13.――I came away rejoicing and blessing God for his grace
manifested at this season. The same day I baptized _five_ persons,
three adults and two children. One of these was the very _aged woman_
of whom I gave an account in my journal of December 26. She now gave me
a very punctual, rational, and satisfactory account of the remarkable
change she experienced some months after the beginning of her concern.
And although she was become so childish through old age that I could do
nothing in a way of questioning with her; yet, when I let her alone to
go on with her own story, she could give a very distinct relation of
the various exercises of soul she had experienced; so deep were the
impressions left upon her mind by that influence she had been under!
And I have great reason to hope, she is _born anew_ in her old age,
being, upwards of _fourscore_.
Saturday, June 14. I rode to Kingston, to assist the Rev. Mr. Wales in
the administration of the Lord’s-supper. In the afternoon I preached;
but almost fainted in the pulpit: yet God strengthened me when I was
just gone, and enabled me to speak his word with freedom, fervency,
and application to the conscience. And praised be the Lord: “out of
weakness I was made strong.” I enjoyed sweetness, in and after public
worship; but was extremely tired. Oh, how many are the mercies of the
Lord! “To them that have no might, he increaseth strength.”
Lord’s-day, June 15. I was dejected so that I could not hold up my head.
Yet I administered the Lord’s-supper at Mr. Wales’s desire: and found
myself in a good measure relieved of my pressing load, when I came to
ask a blessing on the elements; here God gave me enlargement, and a
tender affectionate sense of spiritual things: so that it was a season
of comfort to me, and I trust more so to others. In the afternoon I
preached to a vast multitude from Revelation xxii. 17. God helped me
to offer a testimony for himself, and to leave sinners inexcusable.
I was enabled to speak with such freedom, fluency, and clearness, as
commanded the attention of the great. I was extremely tired in the
evening but enjoyed composure and sweetness.
Monday, June 16. I preached again; and God helped me amazingly, so that
this was a refreshing season to my soul and others. For ever blessed
be God for help, when my body was so weak, and there was so large an
assembly.
June 19. I visited my people with two of the reverend correspondents:
I spent some time in conversation with them upon spiritual things; and
took care of their worldly concerns.
This day makes up a complete year from the first time of my preaching
to these Indians in New-Jersey.――――What amazing things has God wrought
in this time for these poor people! What a surprising change appears
in their tempers and behaviour! How are savage Pagans transformed
into affectionate, and humble Christians! And their drunken and pagan
howlings, turned into fervent prayers and praises to God! They “who
were sometimes darkness, are now become light in the Lord.” May they
walk as children of the light, and of the day. And now to him that is
of power to establish them according to the gospel.――――To God only wise,
be glory, through Jesus Christ, for ever and ever! Amen.
Before I conclude, I would make a few _general remarks_ upon what to me
appears worthy of notice.
And, _first_, I cannot but take notice that I have ever since my first
coming among the Indians, been favoured with that assistance, which (to
me) is _uncommon_, in preaching _Christ crucified_, and making him the
_center_ and _mark_ to which all my discourses were directed.
*It was the principal scope of all my discourses for several months,
(after having taught the people something of the being and perfections
of God, his creation of man in a state of rectitude and happiness, and
the obligations mankind were thence under to love and honour him,) to
lead them into an acquaintance with their deplorable state by nature:
their inability to deliver themselves from it: the utter insufficiency
of any external reformation, or of any religious performances, to bring
them into the favour of God. And thence to shew them their absolute
need of Christ to save them from the misery of their fallen state.――To
open his all-sufficiency and willingness to save the chief of
sinners.――The _freeness_ and _riches_ of his grace, proposed “without
money, and without price.”――And thereupon to press them _without delay_
to betake themselves to him, under a sense of their misery and undone
estate, for relief and everlasting salvation.――――And to shew them
the abundant encouragement the gospel proposes to, perishing, helpless
sinners, so to do.
*And I have often remarked, that whatever subject I have been upon,
after having explained the truths contained therein, I have been
_naturally_ and _easily_ led to Christ as the _substance_ of every
one. If I treated on the being and glorious perfections of God, I was
thence _naturally_ led to discourse of Christ as the only “way to the
Father.”――If I attempted to open the misery of our fallen state, it was
natural from thence to shew the necessity of Christ to undertake for
us, to atone for our sins, and to redeem us from the power of them.――If
I taught the commands of God, and shewed our violation of them, this
brought me in the most easy way, to speak of the Lord Jesus Christ,
as one who had “magnified the law” we had broken, and who was “become
the end of it for righteousness, to every one that believes.” And never
did I find so much freedom and assistance in making all the various
lines of my discourses meet together, and center in Christ, as I have
frequently done among these Indians.
*I have frequently been enabled to represent the divine glory, the
infinite preciousness and transcendent loveliness of the great Redeemer;
the suitableness of his person and purchase to supply the wants, and
answer the utmost desires of immortal souls.――To open the infinite
riches of his grace, and the wonderful encouragement proposed in the
gospel to unworthy, helpless sinners.――To call, invite, and beseech
them to come and give up themselves to him, and be reconciled to God
through him.――To expostulate with them respecting their neglect of
one so infinitely lovely, and freely offered.――And _this_ in _such
a manner_, with such freedom, pertinency, pathos, and application to
the conscience, as I never could have made myself master of by the
most assiduous application. And I have often at such seasons been
surprisingly helped in adapting my discourses to the _capacities_ of
my people, and bringing them down into such easy, vulgar, and familiar
methods of expression, as has rendered them intelligible even to Pagans.
_Secondly_, It is worthy of remark, that numbers of these people
are brought to a strict compliance with the rules of _morality_ and
_sobriety_, and to a conscientious performance of the _external duties_
of Christianity; without their having them frequently inculcated upon
them.
God was pleased to give the grand gospel truths such a powerful
influence upon their minds, that their lives ♦were quickly reformed,
without repeated harangues upon _external_ duties. There was indeed
no room for any discourses but those that respected the _essentials_
of religion, and the _experimental_ knowledge of divine things, while
there were so many inquiring daily, not how they should regulate
their _external_ conduct; but how they should escape from the wrath
to come――obtain an _effectual change of heart_, and get an interest in
Christ.――So that my _great work_ still was to lead them into a further
view of their total depravity: to shew that there was no goodness in
them: no good dispositions or desires; no love to God, or delight in
his commands; but, on the contrary, hatred, enmity, and all manner of
wickedness.――And at the same time to open to them the glorious remedy
provided in Christ for helpless perishing sinners, and offered freely
to those who have no goodness of their own, no “works of righteousness,”
to recommend them to God.
♦ “werely” replaced with “were”
When these truths were felt _at heart_, there was no vice unreformed,
――no external duty neglected.――――Drunkenness, the darling vice, was
broken off, and scarce an instance of it known for months together.
The practice of _husbands_ and _wives_ in putting away each other,
and taking others, was quickly reformed. The same might be said of
all other vices.――――The reformation was general; from the _internal_
influence of divine truths upon their hearts; and not because they had
heard these vices particularly exposed, and repeatedly spoken against.
*So that experience, as well as the word of God, and the example of
Christ and his apostles, have taught me, that the preaching, which
is best suited to awaken in mankind a lively apprehension of their
depravity and misery,――to excite them earnestly to seek after a change
of heart, and to _fly for refuge_ to Christ, as the only _hope set
before them_, is most _successful_ toward the reformation of their
external conduct.――I have found that close applications of divine truth
to the conscience, strike death to the root of all vice; while smooth
harangues upon _moral virtues_ and _external duties_, at best only lop
off the _branches_ of corruption.
I do not intend to represent the preaching of _morality_, and pressing
persons to the _external_ performance of duty, to be unnecessary _at
any time_; especially when there is less of divine power attending
the means of grace.――It is doubtless among the things that “ought
to be done,” while “others are not to be left undone.”――But what I
principally design is a plain matter of fact, viz. That the external
compliance with the rules of Christianity, appearing among my people,
is not the effect of any _merely_ rational view of the beauty of
_morality_, but of the internal influence that divine truths have had
upon their hearts.
_Thirdly_, It is remarkable, that God has so continued and renewed the
showers of his grace: so quickly set up his kingdom among these people;
and so smiled upon them in their acquirement of knowledge, both divine
and human. It is now near a year since the beginning of this gracious
out-pouring of the divine Spirit; and although it has often seemed
to decline for some short time, yet the work of grace revived again:
so that a divine influence seems still to attend the means of grace,
in a greater or less degree: whereby religious persons are refreshed,
strengthened, and established,――convictions revived and promoted in
many,――and some newly awakened from time to time. Although it must
be acknowledged, that for some time past, there has appeared a more
manifest decline of this work. But (blessed be God) there is still
an appearance of divine power, a desirable degree of tenderness, and
devotion in our assemblies.
And as God has continued the showers of his grace among this people;
so he has with uncommon _quickness_ set up his kingdom in the midst
of them. I have now baptized, since the conclusion of my last journal,
thirty persons, fifteen adults, and fifteen children. Which added
to the number there mentioned, makes seventy-seven persons; whereof
thirty-eight are adults and thirty-nine children: and all within the
space of eleven months past.――And I have baptized no adults, but such
as appeared to have a work of grace in their hearts: such as have
experienced not only the awakening, but the renewing and comforting
influences of the divine Spirit. Much of the goodness of God has
appeared in their acquirement of knowledge, both in religion and
in common life. There has been a wonderful thirst after _Christian
knowledge_ among them, and an eager desire of being instructed. This
has moved them to ask many pertinent as well as important questions.
Many of the doctrines I have delivered, they have queried with me
about, in order to gain further light into them: and from time to
time manifested a good understanding of them, by their answers to the
questions proposed.
They have likewise appeared remarkably apt in learning to sing psalms,
and are now able to sing well.
They have also acquired a considerable degree of knowledge in the
affairs of common life: so that they now appear like _rational_
creatures, fit for human society, free from that savage roughness and
brutish stupidity, which they had in their Pagan state.
And as they are desirous of instruction, and surprisingly apt in the
reception of it, so divine providence has smiled upon them in regard of
_proper means_ in order to it.――The attempts made for a _school_ among
them have succeeded, and they have a _school-master_, of whom I may
justly say, I know of “no man like-minded, who will naturally care for
their state.”
He has generally thirty or thirty-five children in his school: and when
he kept an ♦evening-school (as he did in the long evenings), he had
fifteen or twenty people, married and single.
♦ “evening” replaced with “evening-school” per Errata
The children learn with surprising readiness; so that their master
tells me, he never had an English school that learned, in general,
near so fast. There were not above two in thirty, although some of
them were very small, but what learned to know all the _letters_ in
the _alphabet_ distinctly, within three days, and divers in that space
learned to _spell_ considerably; and some of them since the beginning
of February last (at which time the school was set up) have learned so
much, that they are able to read in a _Psalter_ or _Testament_ without
spelling.
They are instructed in the duty of secret prayer; and most of them
constantly attend it night and morning, and are very careful to inform
their master if they apprehend any of their little school-mates neglect
it.
_Fourthly._ It is worthy to be noted, that amidst _so great_ a work of
conviction,――so much concern and religious affection, there has been
no _prevalency_, nor indeed any considerable _appearance_ of _false
religion_, or heats of imagination, intemperate zeal, and spiritual
pride; (which corrupt mixtures too often attend the revival of religion)
and that there have been so very few instances of scandalous behaviour.
The religious concern that persons have been under, has generally
been _rational_ and _just_: arising from a _sense_ of their sins,
and the divine displeasure on the account of them; as well as their
utter inability to deliver themselves from the misery they felt and
feared.――And it is remarkable, although the concern of many persons
has been very great and pressing, yet I have never seen any thing like
_despair_ attending it in any one instance: whence it is apparent,
there is not that danger of persons being driven into despair under
_spiritual trouble_, (unless in cases of melancholy,) that the world
is ready to imagine.
The _comfort_ persons have obtained after their distresses, has
likewise in general appeared solid, ♦well-grounded, and scriptural;
arising from a spiritual and _supernatural illumination_ of mind,――a
view of divine things _as they are_, a complacency of soul in the
divine perfections,――and a peculiar satisfaction in the _way of
salvation_, by the great Redeemer.
♦ “well-grouned” replaced with “well-grounded”
*Their joys have seemed to rise from a variety of views of divine
things, although for substance the same.
Some have at first appeared to rejoice, especially in the _wisdom_ of
God, discovered in the way of salvation by Christ; it then appearing
to them “a new way,” a way they had never any just conception of,
until opened to them by the divine Spirit. And some of them, upon a
_spiritual_ view of this way of salvation, have wondered at their past
folly in seeking salvation other ways, and have admired that they never
saw _this_ way of salvation before, which now appeared so _plain_ and
_easy_.
Others have had a more _general_ view of the excellency of Christ,
being delighted with an apprehension of his glory, as unspeakably
exceeding _all_ they had ever conceived before; yet without singling
out (as it were) any one of the divine perfections in particular.
*What the Indians notions of God are, in their Pagan state, is hard to
determine. I have taken much pains to enquire of my Christian people,
whether they, before their acquaintance with Christianity, imagined
there was a _plurality_ of great invisible powers, or whether they
supposed but _one_ such being, and worshipped him in a variety of
shapes: but cannot learn any thing of them so distinct as to be fully
satisfying upon the point. Their notions in that state were so dark and
confused, that they seem not to know what they thought themselves. But
so far as I can learn, they had a notion of a plurality of invisible
_deities_, and paid some kind of homage to them promiscuously, under a
great variety of shapes. And it is certain those who yet remain Pagans
pay some kind of superstitious reverence to beasts, birds, fishes,
and even reptiles; that is, some to one kind of animal, and some to
another. They do not indeed suppose a divine power _essential_ to these
creatures, but that some invisible beings (I cannot learn that it is
always one) communicate to these animals a _great power_, either one
or other of them, (just as it happens) and so make these creatures the
immediate authors of good to certain persons. Whence such a creature
becomes _sacred_ to the persons to whom he is supposed to be the
immediate author of good, and through him they must worship the
invisible powers, though to others he is no more than another creature.
And perhaps another animal is looked upon to be the immediate author
of good to _another_, and consequently _he_ must worship the invisible
powers in that animal. And I have known a Pagan burn fine tobacco for
incense, in order to appease the anger of that invisible power which
he supposed presided over _rattle-snakes_, because one of these animals
was killed by another Indian near his house.
But I find, that in ancient times, before the coming of the white
people, some supposed there was _four_ invisible powers, who presided
over the four corners of the earth. Others imagined the _sun_ to be
the _only_ deity, and that all things were made by him: others had a
confused notion of a certain _body_ or fountain of _deity_, somewhat
like the _anima mundi_, so frequently mentioned by the learned Heathens,
diffusing itself to various animals, and even to inanimate things,
making them the immediate authors of good to certain persons. But after
the coming of the white people they seemed to suppose there were three
deities, and three only, because they saw people of three different
kinds of complexion, _viz._ English, Negroes and themselves.
It is a notion generally prevailing among them, that it was not the
same _God_ made them, who made us; but that they were made after the
white people. And they suppose their God gained some special skill by
seeing the white people made, and so made _them_ better: for they look
upon themselves, and their methods of living, (which they say, their
god expressly prescribed) as vastly preferable to the white people,
and their methods. And hence they will frequently sit and laugh at them
as being good for nothing but to fatigue themselves, with hard labour;
while _they_ enjoy the satisfaction of stretching themselves on the
ground, and sleeping as much as they please; and have no other trouble
than now and then to chase the deer. Hence, many of them look upon
it as disgraceful for them to become Christians, as Christians do
to become a Pagan: and though they suppose our religion will do well
enough for us, because prescribed by our God, yet it is no ways proper
for them, because not of the same original.
*They seem to have some confused notion of a future state, and many
of them imagine that the _chichang_, (_i. e._ the shadow,) or what
survives the body, will at death go _southward_, and in an unknown
but curious place, will enjoy some kind of happiness, such as hunting,
feasting, dancing. And what they suppose will contribute much to their
happiness in that state is, that they shall never be weary of those
entertainments.
Some of them have some faint notion of _rewards_ and _punishments_,
or at least of _happiness_ and _misery_ in a future state; others
seem to know no such thing. Those that suppose this, imagine that most
will ♦be happy, and those that are not so, will be punished only with
_privation_, being excluded the walls of that good world where happy
souls shall dwell.
♦ “he” replaced with “be”
These rewards and punishments they suppose to depend entirely upon
their behaviour towards mankind, and not to have any reference to God.
I once consulted a very ancient Indian upon this point, whether the
Indians of old times had supposed there was any thing of the man that
would survive the body? He replied yes. I asked him, further, whether
it would be happy there? He answered, after some considerable pause,
that the souls of good folks would be happy, and the souls of _bad_
folks miserable. I then asked who he called _bad folks_? His answer
was, those who lie, steal, quarrel with their neighbours, are unkind
to their friends, and especially to aged parents, and in a word are but
a plague to mankind. These were his bad folks; but not a word was said
of their neglect of divine worship, and their badness in that respect.
They have indeed some kind of worship, are frequently offering
_sacrifices_ to some invisible powers, and are ready to impute their
calamities in the present world, to the neglect of these sacrifices;
but there is no appearances of reverence and devotion in the homage
they pay them; and what they do of this nature seems to be done only
to appease the anger of their deities, to engage them to do them no
hurt, or at most only to invite these _powers_ to succeed them in those
enterprises they are engaged in. So that in offering these sacrifices,
they seem to have no reference to a future state. And they imagine,
that those they call _bad folks_, are excluded from the company of good
people in that state, not so much because God is determined to punish
them for their sins of any kind, as because they would render others
unhappy if admitted to dwell with them. So that they are excluded
rather of _necessity_, than by God acting as a _righteous judge_.
They give much heed to _dreams_, because they suppose the invisible
powers give them directions therein. They are likewise much attached
to the traditions of their fathers, who have informed them of divers
miracles anciently wrought. *They also mention some wonderful things
which, they say, have happened since the memory of some who are now
living. One affirmed to me, that himself had once been dead four days,
that most of his friends were gathered together to his funeral, and
that he should have been buried, but that some of his relations were
not arrived, before whose coming he came to life again. In this time,
he says, he went to the place where the sun _rises_, (imagining the
earth to be plain,) and directly over that place, at a great height
in the air, he was admitted, he says, into a great house, which he
supposes was several miles in length, and saw many wonderful things.
What increases their aversion to Christianity is the influence their
_powwows_ have upon them. These are supposed to have a power of
_foretelling future events_, _of recovering the sick_, and of _charming
persons to death_. Probably a satanical imitation of the spirit of
prophecy that the church in early ages possessed.
I have laboured to gain some acquaintance with this affair, and have
for that end consulted the man mentioned in my journal of May 9, who,
since his conversion to Christianity, has endeavoured to give me the
best intelligence he could of this matter. But it seems to be such a
_mystery of iniquity_, that I cannot well understand it; and, so far as
I can learn, he himself has not any clear notions of the thing, now his
spirit of divination is gone from him. However the manner in which he
says he obtained this spirit was, *he was admitted into the presence
of a great man, who informed him, that he loved, pitied, and desired
to do him good. It was not in this world that he saw the great man, but
in a world above at a vast distance from this. The great man, he says,
was cloathed with the day; yea, with the brightest day he ever saw; a
day of many years, yea, of everlasting ♦continuance! This whole world,
he says, was drawn upon him, so that in him, the earth, and all things
in it, might be seen. I asked him, if rocks, mountains, and seas was
drawn upon, or appeared in him? He replied, that every thing that was
beautiful and lovely in the earth was upon him, and might be seen by
looking on him, as well as if one was on the earth to take a view of
them there. By the side of the great man, he says, stood his shadow
or spirit. This shadow, he says, was as lovely as the man himself,
and filled all places, and was most agreeable as well as wonderful to
him.――Here he says, he tarried some time, and was unspeakably delighted
with a view of the great man, of his shadow or spirit, and of all
things in him. And what is most of all astonishing, he imagines all
this to have passed before he was born. He never had been, he says, in
this world at that time. And what confirms him in the belief of this,
is, that the great man told him, that he must come down to earth, be
born of _such_ a woman, meet with _such_ and _such_ things, and in
particular, that he should once in his life be guilty of _murder_. At
this he was displeased, and told the great man, he would never murder.
But the great man replied, “I have said it, and it shall be so.” Which
has accordingly happened. At this time, he says, the great man asked
him what he would chuse in life. He replied, first to be a _hunter_,
and afterwards to be a _powwow_ or _diviner_. Whereupon the great man
told him, he should have what he desired, and that his _shadow_ should
go along with him down to earth, and be with him for ever. There was,
he says, all this time no words spoken between them. The conference
was not carried on by any _human_ language, but they had a kind of
mental intelligence of each other’s thoughts. After this, he says, he
saw the great man no more; but supposes he came down to earth to be
born, but the spirit or shadow of the great man still attended him, and
ever after continued to appear to him in dreams and other ways, until
he felt the power of God’s word upon his heart; since which it has
entirely left him.
♦ “countenance” replaced with “continuance” per Errata
*This spirit, he says, used to direct him in dreams to go to such
a place and hunt, assuring him he should meet with success, which
accordingly proved so. And when he had been there some time, the spirit
would order him to another place. So that he had success in hunting,
according to the great man’s promise.
*There were some times when this spirit came upon him in a _special_
manner, and he was full of what he saw in the great man. And then,
he says, he was _all light_, and not only _light_ himself, but it was
light all _around him_, so that he could see through men, and knew the
thoughts of their hearts. These _depths of Satan_ I leave to others
to fathom, and cannot guess what conceptions of things these creatures
have at the times when they call themselves _all light_. But my
interpreter tells me, that he heard one of them tell a certain Indian
the secret thoughts of his heart. The case was this; the Indian was
bitten with a snake, and was in extreme pain. Whereupon the _diviner_
(who was applied to) told him, that at _such a time_ he had promised,
the next deer he killed he would sacrifice it to some _great power_,
but had broken his promise. And now, said he, that great power has
ordered this snake to bite you for your neglect. The Indian confessed
it was so, but said he had never told any body of it. But as _Satan_,
no doubt, excited the Indian to make that promise, it was no wonder he
should be able to communicate the matter to the conjurer.
[On Friday and Saturday, he was very much amiss; but yet preached to
his people on Saturday. His illness continued on the sabbath; but he
preached notwithstanding, both parts of the day; and after the public
worship, endeavoured to apply divine truths to the consciences of some,
addressing them personally: several were in tears, and some appeared
much affected. But he was extremely wearied with the service, and was
so ill at night, that he could have no rest; but remarks, that “God was
his support.” On Monday, he continued very ill; but calm and composed,
resigned to the divine dispensations.]
Lord’s-day, June 29. I preached both parts of the day. God was pleased
to afford me both freedom and power; in both exercises. God’s people
were refreshed and melted with divine things; one or two comforted,
who had been long under distress; convictions, in divers instances,
powerfully revived; and one man in years much awakened, who had not
long frequented our meeting, and appeared before as stupid as a stock.
God amazingly renewed my strength. I was so spent at noon, that I could
scarce walk, and all my joints trembled; so that I could not sit, nor
so much as hold my hand still: and yet God strengthened me to preach
with power in the afternoon. I spent some time afterwards in conversing
particularly, with several persons. I prayed afterwards with a sick
child, and gave a word of exhortation, and returned home with more
health than I went out; although my linen was wringing wet upon me,
from a little after ten in the morning, till past five in the afternoon.
My spirits also were considerably refreshed; and my soul rejoiced in
hope, that I had through grace done something for God. In the evening I
walked out, and enjoyed a sweet season in secret prayer and praise. Oh,
for spirituality and holy fervency, that I might _spend and be spent_
for God to my latest moment!
[On Wednesday he went to Newark, to a meeting of the Presbytery. The
remaining part of the week he spent there, and at Elisabeth-Town.]
*Monday, July 7. My spirits were considerably refreshed. There is no
comfort, I find, in any enjoyment, without enjoying God, and being
engaged in his service. In the evening I had the most agreeable
conversation that ever I remember in all my life, upon God’s being _all
in all_, and all enjoyments being just _that_ to us which God makes
them, and no more. It is good to begin and end with God.
Saturday, July 12. This day was spent in fasting and prayer by my
congregation, as preparatory to the sacrament. I discoursed, both parts
of the day. God gave me assistance in my discourses, and divine power
attended the word; so that this was an agreeable season. Afterwards I
led them to a solemn renewal of their covenant, and fresh dedication of
themselves to God. This was a season both of solemnity and sweetness,
and God was in the midst of us.
Lord’s-day, July 13. I administered the sacrament of the Lord’s supper
to thirty-one persons of the Indians. God seemed to be present in
this ordinance; the communicants were sweetly refreshed. Oh, how they
melted, even when the elements were first uncovered! There was scarcely
a dry eye among them, when I took off the linen, and shewed them the
symbols of _Christ’s broken body_.――Having rested a little, after the
administration of the sacrament, I visited the communicants, and found
them generally in a sweet loving frame. In the afternoon I discoursed
upon _coming to Christ_. This was likewise a season of much tenderness.
I returned home much spent, yet rejoicing in the goodness of God.
Monday, July 14. I discoursed from Psalms cxix. 106. “I have sworn, and
I will perform it,” &c. There appeared to be a powerful influence on
the assembly, and considerable melting under the word. Afterwards, I
led them to a renewal of their covenant before God, (that they would
watch over themselves and one another, lest they should fall into sin,
and dishonour the name of Christ,) just as I did on Monday, April 28.
This transaction was attended with great solemnity: and God owned it
by exciting in them a fear and jealousy of themselves, lest they should
sin against God.
[The next day, he set out on a journey towards Philadelphia; from
whence he did not return till Saturday. He spent the week under great
illness of body and dejection of mind.]
Monday, July 21. I preached to the Indians, chiefly for the sake
of some strangers. I then proposed my design of taking a journey to
Susquahannah: exhorted my people to pray for me, and chose divers
persons of the congregation to travel with me.
Monday, July 28. I was very weak, but I enjoyed sweetness and comfort
in prayer; and was composed and comfortable through the day: my mind
was intense, and my heart fervent in secret duties; and I longed to
_spend and be spent for God_.
Tuesday, July 29. My mind was chearful, and free from those melancholy
damps, that I am often exercised with. In the evening I enjoyed a
comfortable season in secret prayer, was helped to plead with God for
my own dear people: and for the divine presence to attend me in my
intended journey to Susquahannah.
Wednesday, July 30. I was uncommonly easy, both in body and mind: my
mind was solemn, and God seemed to be near me: so that the day was as
comfortable as most I have enjoyed for some time.
*Friday, August 1. In the evening I enjoyed a sweet season in secret
prayer; clouds and perplexing cares were sweetly scattered. Oh, how
serene was my mind! How free from that distracting concern I have often
felt! “Thy will be done,” was a petition sweet to my soul: and if God
had bidden me chuse for myself in any affair, I should have chosen
rather to have referred the choice to him; for I saw he was infinitely
wise, and could not do any thing amiss, as I was in danger of doing.
Saturday, August 2. I preached from Matthew xi. 19. and the presence of
God seemed to be remarkably in the assembly. Blessed be God for such a
revival among us. In the evening I was very weary, but found my spirits
supported and refreshed.
Friday, August 5. I preached at the funeral of ♦one of my Christians,
was oppressed with the head-ach, and considerably dejected: however,
I had a little freedom. I was extremely weary in the evening; but
notwithstanding enjoyed some liberty in prayer, and found the dejection
that I feared, much removed, and my spirits considerably refreshed.
♦ “one” replaced with “one of” per Errata
Thursday, August 7. I rode to my house, where I spent the last winter,
in order to bring some things I needed for my Susquahannah journey; I
was refreshed to see that place, which God so marvellously visited with
the showers of his grace. How amazingly did the _powers of God_ appear
there! “Bless the Lord, O my soul.”
Saturday, August 9. In the afternoon, I visited my people, and
contrived for the management of their worldly business: discoursed to
them in a solemn manner, and concluded with prayer. I was composed in
the evening, and fervent in secret prayer: had a view of the eternal
world, and much serenity of mind. Oh that I could magnify the Lord for
any freedom he affords me in prayer!
Monday, August 11. Being about to set out for Susquahannah the next day,
I spent some time this day in prayer with my people, that God would
bless and succeed my journey; and set up his kingdom among the poor
Indians in the wilderness. While I was opening and applying part of
the cxth Psalm, the _power of God_ descended on the assembly; numbers
were melted, and I found affectionate enlargement of soul. God helped
me, and my interpreter also: there was a shaking and melting among us;
and divers, I doubt not, were in some measure “filled with the Holy
Ghost;” especially while I insisted upon the promise of _all nations
blessing_ the great _Redeemer_: my soul was refreshed to think, that
this glorious season should surely come; and numbers of my dear people
were also refreshed. Afterwards I prayed; and had some freedom, but
was almost spent: then I walked out, and left my people to carry on
religious exercises among themselves: they prayed repeatedly, and sung,
while I rested. Afterwards I went to the meeting, prayed with, and
dismissed the assembly. Blessed be God, this has been a day of grace.
[The next day he set out on his journey towards Susquahannah, and six
of his Christian Indians with him. He took his way through Philadelphia,
intending to go to Susquahannah-river, far down, where it is settled
by the white people, below the country inhabited by the Indians: and
so travel up the river to the Indian habitations: for although this
was much farther about, yet hereby he avoided the huge mountains and
hideous wilderness. He rode this week as far as Charlestown, a place
of that name about thirty miles westward of Philadelphia; where he
arrived on Friday; and in his way hither, was for the most part in a
comfortable state of mind.]
Saturday, August 16. [At Charlestown.] It being a day kept by the
people, as preparatory to the Lord’s supper, I tarried, heard Mr.
Treat preach; and then preached myself. God helped me to discourse with
warmth, and application, to the conscience. Afterwards I was refreshed
in spirit, though much tired; and spent the evening agreeably in prayer,
and Christian conversation.
Monday, August 18. I rode on my way towards Paxton, upon
Susquahannah-river, but felt my spirits sink, towards night.
Tuesday, August 19. I rode forward still; and at night lodged by the
side of Susquahannah.
Wednesday, August 20. Having lain in a cold sweat all night, I coughed
much blood this morning; but I had a secret hope that I might speedily
get a dismission from earth, and all its sorrows. I rode this day
to one Chambers’s, upon Susquahannah, and there lodged, but was much
afflicted, in the evening, with an ungodly crew, drinking and swearing.
Oh, what a _hell_ would it be, to be numbered with the _ungodly_!
Thursday, August 21. I rode up the river about fifteen miles, and there
lodged, in a family that appeared quite destitute of God. I laboured to
discourse with the man about the life of religion, but found him very
artful in evading it. Oh, what a death it is to some, to hear of _the
things of God_!
Friday, August 22. I continued my course up the river: my people now
being with me, who before were parted from me; travelled above all the
English settlements; at night, lodged in the open woods, and slept with
more comfort, than while among an ungodly company of white people.
Lord’s-day, August 24. Towards noon I visited some of the Delawares,
and discoursed with them about Christianity. In the afternoon I
discoursed to the _King_, and others, upon divine things, who seemed
disposed to hear. I spent most of the day in these exercises. In the
evening I enjoyed some comfort: especially in secret prayer: so that
I loved to walk abroad and repeatedly engage in it.
Monday, August 25. I sent out my people to talk with the Indians, and
contract a familiarity with them. Some good seemed to be done by their
visit this day, and divers appeared willing to hearken to Christianity.
Tuesday, August 26. About noon I discoursed to a considerable number of
Indians: I was enabled to speak with much plainness, warmth, and power.
The discourse had impression upon some, and made them appear very
serious.
Wednesday, August 27. There having been a thick smoak, in the house
where I lodged, I was this morning distressed with pains in my head and
neck. In the morning the smoak was still the same: and a cold easterly
storm gathering, I could neither live within doors nor without long
together; I was pierced with the rawness of the air abroad, in the
house distressed with the smoak. I this day lived in great distress,
and had not health enough to do any thing to purpose.
Thursday, August 28. I was visited by some who desired to hear me
preach: and discoursed to them in the afternoon, with some fervency,
and laboured to persuade them to _turn to God_. *I scarce ever saw more
clearly, that it is God’s _work_ to convert souls, I knew I could not
touch them, I saw I could only speak to _dry bones_, but could give
them no sense of what I said. My eyes were up to God for help: I could
say, the _work_ was _his_.
Friday, August 29. I travelled to the Delawares, found few at home:
felt poorly, but was able to spend some time alone in reading God’s
word and in prayer.
Lord’s-day, August 31. I spake the word of God, to some few of the
Susquahannah Indians. In the afternoon, I felt very weak and feeble.
Oh, how heavy is my work, when _faith_ cannot take hold of an _almighty
arm_, for the performance of it!
Monday, September 1. I set out on a journey towards a place called _The
great island_, about fifty miles distant from Shaumoking, in the north
western branch of Susquahannah. At night I lodged in the woods. I was
exceeding feeble, this day, and sweat much the night following.
Tuesday, September 2. I rode forward; but no faster than my people went
on foot. I was so feeble and faint, that I feared it would kill me to
lie out in the open air; and some of our company being parted from us,
so that we had now no axe with us, I had no way but to climb into a
young pine tree, and with my knife to lop the branches, and so made a
shelter from the dew. I sweat much in the night, so that my linen was
almost wringing wet all night. I scarce ever was more weak and weary
than this evening.
Wednesday, September 3. I rode to Delaware town; and found divers
drinking and drunken. I discoursed with some of the Indians about
Christianity; observed my _interpreter_ much engaged in his work; some
few persons seemed to hear with great earnestness. About noon I rode
to a small town of Shawwannoes, about eight miles distant; spent an
hour or two there, and returned to the Delaware town. Oh what ♦a dead,
barren, unprofitable wretch did I now see myself to be! My spirits were
so low, and my bodily strength so wasted, that I could do nothing at
all. At length being much overdone I lay down on a _buffalo-skin_; but
sweat much the whole night.
♦ duplicate word “a” removed
Thursday, September 4. I discoursed with the Indians about
Christianity; my _interpreter_, afterwards, carrying on the discourse
to a considerable length: some few appeared well disposed, and somewhat
affected. I left this place, and returned to Shaumoking; and at night
lodged in the place where I lodged the Monday night before: but my
people being belated did not come to me till past ten at night; so
that I had no fire to dress any victuals, or to keep me warm; and I
was ♦scarce ever more weak and worn out in my life.
♦ “sarce” replaced with “scarce”
Friday, September 5. I was so weak, that I could scarcely ride: it
seemed sometimes as if I must fall off from my horse: however, I got
to Shaumoking towards night, and felt thankfulness, that God had so far
returned me.
Saturday, September 6. I spent the day in a very weak state; coughing
and spitting blood, and having little appetite to any food I had with
me: I was able to do very little, except discourse awhile of divine
things to my own people, and to some few I met with.
Monday, September 8. I spent the forenoon among the Indians; in the
afternoon, left Shaumoking, and returned down the river a few miles.
I had proposed to have tarried a considerable time longer among the
Indians upon Susquahannah; but was hindered by the weakly circumstances
of my own people, and especially my own extraordinary weakness, having
been exercised with great nocturnal sweats, and a coughing up of blood,
in almost the whole of the journey. I was a great part of the time so
feeble and faint, that it seemed as though I never should be able to
reach home; and at the same time destitute of the comforts, yea the
necessaries of life; at least what was necessary for one in so weak
a state. In this journey I sometimes was enabled to speak the word of
God with power, and divine truths made some impression on divers that
heard me; so that several, both men and women, old and young, seemed
to cleave to us, and be well disposed towards Christianity; but others
mocked and shouted, which damped those who before seemed friendly.
Yet God at times, was evidently present, assisting me, my interpreter,
and other dear friends who were with me in prayer for the ingathering
of souls there; and I could not but entertain a strong hope, that the
journey would not be wholly fruitless.
Tuesday, September 9. I rode down the river, near thirty miles, was
extreme weak, much fatigued, and wet with a thunder storm. I discoursed
with some warmth and closeness to some poor ignorant souls, on the
life and power of religion. They seemed much astonished, when they
saw my Indians ask a blessing, and give thanks at dinner: concluding
that a very high evidence of grace in them; but were more astonished,
when I insisted that neither that, nor yet secret prayer, was any sure
evidence of grace. Oh the ignorance of the world! How are some empty
outward forms, mistaken for true religion.
Wednesday, September 10. I rode near twenty miles homeward; and was
much solicited to preach, but was utterly unable. I was extremely over
done with the heat and showers, and coughed up considerable quantities
of blood.
Thursday, September 11. I rode homeward: but was very weak, and
sometimes scarce able to ride, I had a very importunate invitation
to preach at a meeting house I came by, but could not by reason of
weakness. I was resigned under my weakness; but was much exercised for
my companions in travel, whom I had left with much regret, some lame,
and some sick.
Friday, September 12. I rode about fifty miles; and came just at night
to a Christian friend’s house, about twenty-five miles westward of
Philadelphia. I was kindly entertained, and found myself much refreshed
in the midst of my weakness and fatigues.
Lord’s-day, September 14. I preached both parts of the day (but short)
from Luke xiv. 23. God gave me freedom and warmth in my discourse; and
helped me to labour in singleness of heart. I was much tired in the
evening, but was comforted with the most tender treatment I ever met
with in my life. My mind through the whole of this day, was exceeding
calm; and I could ask for nothing but that “the will of God might be
done.”
Wednesday, September 17. I rode into Philadelphia, but was very weak,
and my cough and my spitting of blood continued.
Saturday, September 20. I arrived among my own people: found them
praying together: went in, and gave them some account of God’s dealings
with me and my companions in the journey. I then prayed with them,
and the divine presence was among us; divers were melted into tears.
Being very weak, I was obliged soon to repair to my lodgings. Thus God
has carried me through the fatigues and perils of another journey to
Susquahannah, and returned me again in safety, though under a great
degree of bodily indisposition. Many hardships and distresses I endured
in this journey: but the Lord supported me under them all.