_Of the agreeable life Guzman continued to lead with his Comrades. An
account of his Journey to Gaeta. History of a Beggar who died at
Florence._
Notwithstanding the disposition recommended by the tenth statute of our
laws, I did not think proper to communicate to my comrades the secrets
of the Cordovan, who had revealed them to none but myself; nevertheless
we all lived together in perfect union. We frequently met together of an
evening to the number of ten or twelve, and passed our time in
practising and inventing new exclamations to excite pity. There were
even some among us who discovered new forms of benediction which they
got a livelihood by, and which they sold to the others, who were always
willing to purchase them on account of their novelty.
On festival-days we would be up betimes and run to the churches where
indulgences were dispensed, that we might secure the best places, by
being as near as we could to the _Holy Water_, or at the entrance of the
Chapel near the _Station_,--which is the place set apart for penitents
to stand and recite the prayers prescribed for them. Thus were our
mornings employed, and towards night we generally left the City to make
an excursion into the villages in the environs, as well as the farms and
country-seats, whence we seldom returned without being well laden with
abundance of lard, bread, eggs and cheese; sometimes with a good
collection of old clothes, so well did we know how to excite the
compassion of the good folks in the country. If on the road we saw any
person of distinction coming towards us, the instant we perceived him at
a distance, we set up a concert of plaintive voices imploring his
charity, that he might have abundance of time to put his hand in his
pocket, otherwise he might have passed on without stopping.
When we had to meet a number of citizens together, and had time to
prepare for it, we would every one of us act a different character; one
would halt as if he were lame, another would counterfeit blindness; a
third would carry one arm in a sling, another would affect dumbness; a
fifth would distort his mouth or his legs, and a sixth would walk on
crutches; in a word, we every one of us performed a different part,
taking care to place the most skilful amongst us at our head, to render
the scene more affecting.
You would have been well amused had you but heard the various
benedictions we employed to extract the marrow from their purses. We
prayed that God would give them children, prosper their commerce, and
bless them with good health; such wishes as these were scarcely ever
thrown away. There never was a party of pleasure or an entertainment of
any sort going forward, but we were sure to smell it out and pick up
something; and we never failed to repair, in small numbers at a time, to
such places, where we always got as much as we could eat. The hotels of
Bishops, Cardinals, Ambassadors, all the great houses were open to us,
and we frequented them by turns: thus we partook of every thing, though
we possessed nothing.
I know not how my comrades felt affected when they chanced to receive
alms from the hand of a pretty woman; for myself, miserable sinner, when
a young female approached me whose figure I admired, I could not refrain
from leering upon her with an amorous look when I implored her charity.
If she herself gave me money, I pressed her hand tenderly in my own, and
kissed it before I allowed it to escape. But I always committed this
rash action with so respectful, or rather so hypocritical an air, that
the lady, not suspecting that it was merely for my own gratification,
always considered this insolence as a transport of gratitude.
The pleasures of this world, which have been thought to be the share of
the rich and great only, may much more reasonably be said to fall to the
lot of us beggars, who enjoy the sweets of life with more freedom, more
relish, and tranquillity. Even though beggars had no other advantage
than that of begging and receiving without either embarrassment or
shame, they enjoy therein a privilege which none of the rest of mankind
possess, sovereigns only excepted, who also beg of their people without
blushing: but the difference between them is, that sovereigns often make
poor folks contribute to their wants, while beggars seldom ask of any
but such as are richer than themselves. There is evidently then no
condition of life more happy than that of a beggar, and fortunate were
it, indeed, if every one could know when he is so well off. The greater
number of my comrades, however, were so entirely engrossed with
delicacies of animal life, that one half of their felicity was actually
thrown away: they did not reflect how sweet it was to live independent,
without the dread of law-suits or the fear that their money was badly
applied: to be unaffected by the intrigues of state, by the uncertainty
of business and speculation, or by the numberless mischances and
embarrassments to which every other man is constantly subject. The first
man who embraced this mode of life must, doubtless, have been a great
philosopher.
I would willingly have believed beggars entirely free from the control
of Fortune, did not that malicious goddess take pleasure in occasionally
showing her power over them, by subjecting them to little disgraces, as
well as others. Of this nature was what happened to me in the town of
Gaeta, whither I went out of curiosity, imagining that a man like me,
who might now be reckoned skilful in my trade, would have no sooner
entered the place, than alms would shower down as thick as hail upon
him. The instant I arrived there I covered my head with a false scab,
which I knew well how to counterfeit, and placed myself at the door of a
church. The governor of the town happened to pass by me, and after
having looked at me for some time with attention, gave me alms. A
considerable number of the inhabitants of both sexes followed his
example, and this good luck lasted for several days; but covetousness,
as the saying is, at last bursts the bag. On the next festival-day,
thinking that my pretended scabby head was too old a trick, I determined
to make myself an ulcer on my leg, and soon raised one by making use of
one of the secrets the old Cordovan had revealed to me.
Having prepared all that was necessary to dress up my leg so as to
yield me a good harvest, I posted myself in the best situation at the
door of another church, where I immediately began to writhe myself about
and howl, as if I had been exceedingly afflicted by my ulcer, so as to
attract the notice of every one that passed by me; and though my healthy
countenance was sufficient to have belied my complaints (for I had
neglected to manufacture a pale face on the occasion), and have created
suspicion, yet I found that my apparently distressing situation excited
the compassion of many; for these charitable folks did not examine so
accurately as to detect me, and I in consequence received individually
greater contributions than all the other beggars who were there, who
wished me and my ulcer at the devil.
Unluckily, however, the aforementioned governor chanced to come to hear
mass at this church, and had no sooner listened to me for a moment than
he recognized me by my voice. He could not otherwise have possibly
recollected me, for my head was completely covered with a large napkin
which descended to my nose; but he was a man of experience who had seen
a great deal of the world; and as soon as he espied me I knew well that
he said to himself, “It cannot be four days since I saw and relieved
this same fellow; can he possibly have been afflicted since that time
with so bad an ulcer on his leg? there must be some roguery in this
affair, and it is incumbent on me to inquire further into it:” “My
friend,” said he, addressing himself to me, “I am much affected by your
miserable situation; follow me home and I will give you a good shirt.”
I was so imprudent as to obey him, without the slightest suspicion of
his design upon me; for had I in the least guessed at it I should soon
have forced my way through his servants, and disappointed him of the
punishment he had devised for me. Having arrived at his house, I did
not presage much good when he looked at me with earnestness, and then
demanded of me in a severe tone if I was not the same person whom he had
seen a few days since at a church door with a bad head. I turned pale at
this question, and could not muster impudence enough to answer in the
negative, whereupon he insisted on seeing my head, and not perceiving
the least appearance of disorder: “Tell me,” said he, “by what singular
remedy you can possibly have cured yourself so perfectly in the short
space of four days, and how you can have so inveterate an ulcer on your
leg accompanied with so ruddy a complexion:” “Sir,” replied I; so
disconcerted that I knew not what I said,--“I know not: but God was
pleased that it should be so.”
I was still more troubled when I heard him desire one of his servants to
run for a surgeon. I knew well what was preparing for me, and should
soon have made an attempt to escape, if I had not observed that the door
was locked; but as such was the case I was obliged to submit. At length
the surgeon arrived, and examined my leg most attentively, and, skilful
as he was, would very probably have been deceived, had not the governor
communicated to him in a whisper the reasons he had for thinking me an
impostor; after this the surgeon had but little trouble in discovering
the truth: he examined the ulcer afresh, and then declared, with an air
of importance and sagacity, that I had no more ailment in my leg than he
himself had in his eye: “Bring me some hot water,” said he, “and I will
prove clearly what I assert.” This was soon supplied; the surgeon rubbed
and washed my leg, which became in an instant so clean and healthful,
that I dared not utter a syllable in defence of my knavery.
The governor, thinking that he was bound to reward me for my address,
gave me the shirt he had been so kind as to promise, which was fitted on
my back in a moment by one of his lusty servants, who applied thirty
hearty lashes by his master’s directions, by way of recompence for my
journey. After which I was ordered to leave the town immediately, with
the promise that I should be doubly remunerated if I ever ventured to
make my appearance in it again. This was a very superfluous prohibition,
for the pleasant treatment I had met with in Gaeta was of itself quite
sufficient to divest me of all desire of visiting that place again. I
left this cursed town therefore without further delay, shrugging up my
shoulders all the way I went, until I arrived once more in the Pope’s
territories. I greeted my dear Rome with a thousand blessings as I
entered it, and no sooner saw it at a distance than tears of joy
trickled from my eyes, and I could not refrain from wishing my arms long
enough to have embraced it.
I soon rejoined my old comrades, but took good care not to communicate
my late disgrace to them: had they known it, I should never have heard
the last of my flogging adventure at Gaeta, which would have been an
everlasting joke against me. I told them that I had merely taken a trip
out of curiosity to some of the neighbouring villages; but that I had
found by experience that, there was no place like Rome for persons of
our calling. I must indeed have been half mad when I thought of leaving
this blessed city, where we all lived so well, never failing to collect
daily as much money as we wanted. Every fowl fills its crop by a single
grain at a time. In like manner we accumulated our money; and after
having converted it into gold, we carried it about with us sewed to our
garments under rags, which frequently concealed a sufficient sum to buy
a complete new suit. We might be said to have been stitched up with
gold; and there were some few old rascals among us who were worth a very
considerable sum which they always carried about their persons. Persons
of our class generally possess the vices of avarice and cruelty in the
highest degree. I will illustrate this assertion by relating to you a
very singular example in the history of a beggar of my own acquaintance,
which is well worth the recital.
A poor beggar, named _Pantalon Castello_, a native of Genoa, having
married at Florence, had one son by his wife whom he intended so to
establish in life as to render it unnecessary for him either to work, or
go into service to obtain his livelihood: with this view, taking
advantage of the facility with which the delicate members of a new born
infant may be dislocated, he determined on the barbarity of crippling
his own child. Perchance, reader, you will feel inclined to stop me
here, to tell me that this is by no means extraordinary among beggars.
I am ready to allow, that beggars of every nation in the world are in
the habit of availing themselves of such inhuman means to excite
compassion: but our _Pantalon_, like a true Genoese, was willing to
surpass all his predecessors in this point, and disfigured his poor son
so dreadfully that there was scarcely such another monster in the world.
This unfortunate child, who, with the exception of his arms and tongue,
which had not been touched, was deformed all over, was no sooner out of
his infancy, than he began to exhibit himself through the streets in a
kind of cage, on a little ass which he guided with his own hands.
If, however, his body had but little of the human form in it, by way of
amends he had a great deal of wit, which shone the more brilliantly as
he advanced in age. His repartees were so pleasant and so much to the
purpose, that he was the admiration of all who knew him, and received
great alms, which he owed no less to his facetious and good natured
manner, than to the compassion excited by his unfortunate person.
Deformed and ugly as he was, however, he lived until seventy two years
of age, after which he fell sick; and knowing well that his illness must
be fatal, he began to reflect on his past life, and sent for a
confessor, a pious and learned man, with whom he was acquainted. Having
discoursed with him about all his affairs as well spiritual as temporal,
he called in a Notary, to whom he indited his will in the following
terms: _I recommend my soul to God who created it, and my body to the
earth, and I wish to be interred in my own parish_.
_Item, I desire that my ass be sold, and that the money accruing
therefrom be employed in defraying the expenses of my burial. As for the
pack-saddle, I bequeath it to the Grand Duke my Lord, to whom it of
right belongs, and whom I hereby nominate executor to this my will, and
universal heir to my property._
This beggar died a few days after, and his Will being made public,
became the talk of the city of Florence. As every one had known him to
be a merry-conceited fellow all his life, it was the general opinion
that he had hoped, by this seeming burlesque, to make folks laugh at him
even after his death. But the Duke somewhat differed from them; for
having frequently heard of the testator and his pleasantries, he
suspected there might be some mystery in it. To unravel it, therefore,
he ordered the pack-saddle which was bequeathed to him to be brought to
his Palace, where he caused it to be unripped in the presence of the
whole court, who were not a little surprised at discovering in it
several pieces of gold of all kinds, to the value of three thousand six
hundred crowns, of four hundred maravedis each. It came afterwards to be
known that it was by the advice of his Confessor that he had thus
disposed of his property, which the Grand Duke, like a just and pious
Prince, made a good use of, by employing the whole of it in founding a
perpetual Mass to be said for the testator’s soul.