Let us suppose that the church has been decorated with flower and palms,
arranged by experienced hands to form a background for the bridal party.
The seats for the respective families have been roped off with wide white
satin ribbons; those on the right for the bridegroom's family, those of
the left for the bride's. The bridegroom and the best man are with the
clergyman in the vestry; the bridesmaids have assembled at the bride's
house, and have entered their carriages; the relatives, including the
bride's mother, and guests are in their seats. The carriages containing
the bridesmaids precede that of the bride to the church; they alight and
await her in the vestibule. The bride, accompanied by her father, arrives.
The bridal procession is quickly formed, the vestibule doors having been
closed by the ushers on the arrival of the wedding party. At the signal
the organ breaks into the familiar strains of the wedding march; the
clergyman, followed by the groom and best man, enter from the vestry, and
stand on the chancel step facing the guests, awaiting the bride, the
bridegroom being slightly, in advance.
The ushers, walking two and two, lead the way up the aisle; the
bridesmaids follow at a distance of ten or twelve feet, also walking in
pairs; then comes the maid-of-honor, walking alone. She is followed by the
bride, leaning on the arm of her father or nearest male relative. At the
chancel the ushers separate to right and left, remaining below the chancel
step; the bridesmaids separate in the same manner, but ascend the chancel
step. The maid-of-honor places herself at the left of the place left for
the bride, in readiness to hold her bouquet and remove her glove. The
bridegroom descends the chancel step, meeting the bride. The two place
themselves before the clergyman, the bride standing on the bridegroom's
left; the best man stands at the right of the bridegroom a step or two in
the rear.
[738 MOTHERS' REMEDIES]
The Bride's Father.--The place of the bride's father is at the left
somewhat in the rear. As the clergyman asks: "Who giveth this woman to be
married to this man?" he steps forward and places the bride's right hand
in that of the clergyman, who in turn places it in that of the bridegroom.
The father steps aside, and as the bridal procession forms to retire after
the ceremony, he joins his wife and escorts her from the church.
At the proper moment the maid-of-honor removes the bride's glove and takes
her bouquet. The best man gives the ring to the bride, who passes it to
the clergyman; the latter gives it to the bridegroom, who places it on the
bride's finger, holding it there while repeating the formula, "With this
ring I thee wed," etc. The significance of this transfer is the forming of
a circle, to indicate the endlessness of the contract.
Another Form.--A form sometimes introduced is for the bridal party to
stand below the chancel while the clergyman reads the service up to and
including the sentence, "If any man can show just cause," etc. After the
customary moment's pause, there being no unseemly interruption, the party
ascends the chancel step and the ceremony proceeds.
The order of the procession after the ceremony is this: The just married
pair lead the way, the wife taking her husband's arm; the maid-of-honor
follows; then the bridesmaids, after them the ushers. Such is the conduct
of a church wedding, a thousand times repeated. The ceremony is often
rehearsed a night or two previous to the event, to make sure each will be
familiar with his or her part.
The Best Man's Duties.--The best man has charge of the ring. At the
conclusion of the ceremony he disappears into the vestry, where he places
the wedding fee, enclosed in an envelope, in the clergyman's hands. He
then hastens to his carriage and is driven to the house, where he assists
in the reception of the guests, and takes the maid-of-honor or the
bridesmaid to luncheon. Or he may escort the maid-of-honor from the
church.
The best man also sees to it that the agitated bridegroom's clothes are in
order, packs his suitcase, orders the baggage to be called for, buys the
tickets for the wedding journey and sees that they are in the bridegroom's
possession, and orders the carriage in which the newly wedded pair drive
to the station. He takes as many of the details of the affair as possible
off his friend's mind and hands, and stands by manfully to the last. The
best man should fully acquaint himself with the duties of his position
before assuming it The sexton of the church takes the groom's hat from the
vestry to the vestibule, and hands it to him at the door.
[MANNERS AND SOCIAL CUSTOMS 739]
Duties of Ushers.--An usher escorts each lady to her seat, giving her his
arm. The guests should stand during the ceremony, rising as the procession
enters, and remaining in their seats until it has retired. The ushers
often pass ribbons along their seats, not removing them until the bridal
party and the relatives have left the church. Having seen the bridal party
to their carriages, the ushers return to escort the relatives to theirs,
and then hasten to the house, where they meet the guests on arrival and
escort them, severally, to the receiving party. The bride's mother
welcomes them first; they are then presented to the newly married pair.
The bride offers her hand; the guest wishes her much happiness,
congratulates the bridegroom, shaking hands the while, greets the
maid-of-honor and the bridesmaids with a smile and bow, and passes on,
making way for the next.
The Wedding Reception.--The wedding reception follows the ceremony, guests
coming at once from church to the house. There should be no undue haste in
presenting one's self; the party requires a little time to arrange itself
in proper order for receiving. At a day wedding reception women lay aside
wraps, retaining their hats. At an evening reception they remove both, and
wear full dress.
After greeting the bride and groom, as indicated in the preceding
paragraph, the refreshment room is sought. If the reception is a large
one, a buffet or "stand-up" repast is often served, though it is more
desirable to provide small tables seating four people. If these are not
furnished the men may assist the ladies, though the service should be
adequate. No tea, coffee, or chocolate is poured at the table.
Refreshments.--The refreshments may be simple or elaborate. The table is
laid in the dining-room, and decorated with flowers. On it are the
refreshments, and plenty of napkins, plates and silver, in piles.
Bouillon, creamed oysters or oyster patties; salads, cold salmon or
lobster with mayonnaise dressing, ices and cake are suitable. Usually one
hot dish is passed. Or one may serve a salad, ice cream and cake, with
punch. If wine is offered it is always champagne.
The wedding cake, neatly packed in white boxes bearing the monogram of the
bride and groom and tied with white satin ribbon, is arranged on a table
in the hall, and each departing guest takes a box. Wedding cake is no
longer sent.
Going Away.--When the last guest has been greeted, the bridal party may be
served with refreshments. Their supper is laid in a private room, and they
are seated, a most welcome rest after the fatigue of the ceremony and the
reception. The bride then retires to change to her traveling dress; the
bridegroom, who has had his valise sent to the house in the morning,
retires for the same purpose. The maid-of-honor accompanies the bride; the
best man assists the groom, and packs his suit worn during the ceremony,
either to be taken with him or to be sent to his home.
[740 MOTHERS' REMEDIES]
At the time agreed upon the bridegroom awaits the bride at the head of the
stairs. Adieus to the family are said in the bride's room and should be
brief. The bridesmaids and ushers are awaiting the departure in the hall.
Half way down the stairs the bride throws her bouquet. The bridesmaid who
catches it will be married next, according to the old superstition. The
bride and groom enter their carriage amid a shower of rice or confetti,
the carriage door bangs; the caterer has removed the debris of the feast;
the maids have restored the house to its wonted order and the wedding is
over--all except paying the bills.
Guests at a wedding do not remain until the departure of the bride. They
congratulate, partake of refreshments, chat a few minutes with friends,
and depart.
At a church wedding it is customary--and usually necessary to keep out the
uninvited--to enclose small cards which are presented at the church door
to ensure admittance. If the reception is large, the same thing is
sometimes done as a measure of protection.
Calls after Wedding.--It is expected that the guests at a wedding
breakfast or reception will call on the mother of the bride within three
weeks after the marriage, and upon the bride on one of her "At Home" days,
or soon after her return from the wedding journey, if no days are
specified.
Cards bearing the date of the bride's "At Home" days, or "At Home
after"--a certain date, are enclosed with the announcement cards, or the
date named on the card. If sent they must be ready to mail immediately
after the wedding.