An engagement may be announced soon after it is entered upon, or not until
several weeks before the marriage. Usually the engagement is known to the
two families some time in advance of the later formal announcement. This
is to save the girl embarrassment in case it is broken off. Should this
happen, the young man takes the blame upon himself, declaring the young
lady discarded him. Only an out-and-out cad would intimate to anyone that
he "threw her over."
The announcement of the engagement comes through the girl's family; the
man waits until it is their pleasure to make it known. The usual way is
for the girl and her mother to write notes to relatives and close friends.
The man, of course, will know when this is done, and may send notes to his
relatives and friends, or acquaint them by word of mouth, at the same
date. No special form is employed for such notes; they are always informal
and familiar.
How Disclosed.--Sometimes a girl announces her engagement to her most
intimate girl friends at a small tea or luncheon her mother or some
relative gives for her. In this case the decorations are suggestive.
Heart-shaped place cards, decorated with the entwined initials of the two
parties; pink flowers, banked in heart-shape and pierced with silver
arrows, for a centerpiece, and sandwiches and cakes in heart shape, the
latter decorated in pink, are often used. At each plate may be a small
cluster of pink carnations, tied with narrow ribbons, one end connecting
with an arrow in the centerpiece. When these are drawn out some
appropriate sentiment is found attached, which is read aloud by the guest.
Any novel form may be employed in communicating the joyous intelligence.
Midway the repast some friend previously selected for the honor may
propose a health to the two who are betrothed; someone may ask a moment's
indulgence while she reads an interesting paragraph from a letter, or a
mock telegram may be delivered. Congratulations are in order; sometimes
the fiance has been held in reserve, and is brought in to share with his
fiancee the good wishes of her friends.