MASONRY BRIDGES.
"Now I'll tell you how we got on with some masonry bridges. Being more
of a scholar than most of them--thanks to the parish school--and being
able to read, write, and sum a bit, I knew a trifle extra to the other
chaps, and was made a ganger when very young. Somehow or other, I
drifted into being crafty, and just then made friends with a man that
was up to every game, and remembered old George Stephenson. He could
tell and teach you something, and did me; but even I have known the
time when we hardly ever had a drawing to work to, except the section,
and have walked many miles behind an engineer, and heard him say to my
partner--who was a mason, and a real good one--'Joe, put a bridge
there, the same span and width between the inside of the parapets as
the others.' 'All right, sir!'
"You know that was the time of the rush for railways, and few
understood the business. Too many do now, I think, and the old country
is too full of mouths generally. Then there was scarcely time to think,
much more for many drawings; they were made after.
"We used to take a bridge at a time, at so much the cubic yard, and we
did put it in thick, abutments, counterforts, wingwalls, and parapets,
and all the work was as straight as could be made; and I have known my
partner, Joe, nearly drawn into tears when he was forced by
circumstances over which he had no control to own an arch to a bridge
was not exactly a straight line. Spirals and winders made him that
waspish as I took good care to make myself particularly wanted
somewhere else than at the bridge at which he was busy when he had to
do them.
"Some of the bridges we built have enough masonry in them to nearly
build a church or a small breakwater, and lucky they have, as it gave
one the chance of a bit of profit; and the depth of the foundations was
hardly so deep as shown in the drawings made after we had built a
bridge. Somehow or other our imagination used to scare away reality,
and we generally were paid for a foot or more extra depth all round.
"Joe said that was the way he got his professional fees for building a
bridge without a drawing, and the only way he could and, moreover, did;
but he always put the masonry in solid, that is to say, when he
considered it should be, although hardly, perhaps, to the specification
throughout, but the face looked lovely; and if the inside work was
rather rough and tumble and really "random," he knew what a good bond
was, and would have it, and was really clever at selecting the right
rock in the cuttings for masonry; but there, no one can expect the
filling-in work to be done the same way as the facework.
"Of course, it was not exactly honest to be paid for more work than we
had done; but it is only fair to say we were generous with our _extra_
profits, and always treated the inspector and our men right. We were
bound to educate them and enlighten their minds. I own it was not
right, and, after all, it would want an 'old parliamentary hand' to
tell the difference in dishonesty between over-measurement founded on
lies and stealing. However, one is supposed to be the result of
cleverness, the other, crime.
"I forgot to tell you we took a cue from a director who occasionally
walked over the line, and who always showed about half-an-inch of his
cheque-book sticking up out of his pocket. We were told he wore his
cheque-book like the mashers do their pocket-handkerchiefs; but that he
was not worth much, and was on the war path for 'plunder,' and so were
we, and took his tip. I said to myself, as he has brought a new fashion
into play in these parts, let us take the hint.
"'So we will,' said my partner.
"'How long is the specification for masonry?
"'I am sure I don't know. What _are_ you talking about? I never read
such things. All I want to know is for what purpose the bridge is to be
erected, and whether it is to be coursed work, ashlar, or the same as
the others, and up it goes according to my specification. I'm above
other people's specifications, thank you. What's the use of my
education if I am not? Do you think the alphabet must be again taught
me?'
"'I beg pardon, partner, you are right; but appearances go a long way,
and shamming is fashionable.'
"'Oh, well, have your way; we all look better when we are properly
clothed; and I once heard an engineer say he never felt right when on
any works without a plan in his hand, and we know a music-hall singer
is generally not at home without a hat; besides, it will please them to
see we have the specification always on the premises.'
"'That is what I think.'
"Well, I made two copies of it, one for Joe, my partner then, and one
for me, and wrote in large letters on the top, 'Specification--masonry
--bridges and culverts.' Then we both showed the top out of our
pockets, with that writing on it, in the same way the director did his
cheque-book. It worked beautifully; for a few days after a big engineer
came down, and we heard he had said he thought we were the smartest
masons on the work, and he was pleased to see we appeared careful to
comply with the specification, for he noticed we each had a copy in our
pockets.
"The fun was, my partner had never read it at all; I only when copying.
"The game worked really lovely; we were looked upon as downright
straight ones, and the inspector--who wanted some dodging, I can tell
you, as well as a tip, now and again--was taken away and posted at the
other end of the work, and then we made hay while the sun shone, and no
mistake. We used to make the bridges rise out of the ground; we gave
some drink to our chaps; and then, as soon as the wagons with the rock
arrived from the cutting, in it went. The difficulty was to keep the
face going fast enough for the filling-in work. It was a game. First a
wagon-load of rock, and then--well, I suppose I must say--the mortar,
but it is squeezing the truth very hard indeed. There was Joe, my
partner, superintending in his own style, the raking and mortar
business, and I was busy at the facework looking after our best mason.
"Give my partner his due, he was always careful about bond and
throughs, and he was fond of mixing up the flat stones a bit, for he
said it prevented their sliding on the beds, and always maintained that
the weight above kept all tight enough and more than the mortar, so
long as the stones were flat and large. I said, it's lucky it did.
"One day he frightened me. We were short of stone, owing to a mistake
in the cutting, and so the facework was up a good height. At last Joe
caught sight of the engine and wagons coming round the hill, and said
to me--
"'Hold hard, here they come, thirteen wagons; they will fill you up
both sides.'
"'I agree with you; they will, and more.'
"It was then past one o'clock, and Joe called out to me--
"'Before we leave I mean to be level with you, but you must help.'
"'Joe, it can't be done.'
"'Away with your cant's; it _shall_ be done.'
"Well, it was tempting us too much, such a lot of rock to work on all
at once; if we had only had a little more than sufficient for one day's
work at a time, we could not have done what we did. By Jove, he did go
it. Down came the rock--I know you will kindly excuse me from calling
it building stone.
"'Easy does it, Joe, or you will burst the show.'
"'Not I,' he shouted.
"Now listen to me, for this _is_ truth. Never since the foundation of
this world did bridges grow at this rate. It beats mustard-and-cress
raising and high farming into fits.
"'Smash them in, lads, bar them down; give them a dose of gravel
liquor. Now then, for some real cream mortar.'"
"These, and such-like, were his war-cries."
"'Bless me, if the mortar is not as thin-placed as the powder on a
girl's face, Joe.'"
"'It's pretty.'
"'Now, lads, five minutes for beer.'
"All was soon comparatively silent.
"'Joe, you must draw it milder, for the row going on is more like an
earthquake let loose than anything else I can think of, and it may
spoil the game, for it is bound to draw a crowd.'
"'All right, partner, I never thought of that. Talk about Jack and the
beanstalk, this beats it to squash. It's lucky the rock works in flat,
and is not hollow. Of course, all the stones are on their natural beds,
according to the specification--understand that. Don't let us have any
mistake as to the catechism; if they are not, they will grow used to
their new ones and shake down to rest.'
"I've never built a bridge that fell or gave much, perhaps a wingwall
has bulged, but then it is the want of proper drainage and backing and
nothing to do with the masonry. _We_ only attend to the masonry
according to the specification. Chorus--According to the specification.
But they all do it, as the song says.
"It's my firm conviction that the man that invented wall-plates ought
to have a marble monument in his native town, for they are beautiful
distributors of weight, and when the stones are small, they are
salvation for such masonry as we made rise."
"I agree with you, they cover a multitude of sins, and are powerful
agents in the cause of unity and good behaviour."
"That is right."
"Have a sip?"
"Yes."
"I nearly got bowled out once at the masonry game. This is between
ourselves."
"Of course, we understand each other; shake hands."
"They nearly caught me."
"How?"
"We were walking over the work--when I say we, I mean a party of
directors, a couple of engineers, and the resident engineer. An unlucky
thing happened. Someone said, 'I should think a good view of the
surrounding country is to be obtained from the top of this bridge.'
Now, you know, in those days, some engineers liked offsets at the back
of a wall very close together, say about every two feet, as they
thought the backing remained on them, and helped to prevent the wall
overturning; but it seldom does, the backing is usually drawn away from
such off-sets. However, unfortunately, most of these directors had only
recently returned from Switzerland, and had been up the Mortarhorn, I
think they said--or thought they had, or read about it in a guide book.
Anyhow, they started climbing up the back of one of the abutments. They
ought to have known our work is not quite so solid as nature, nor as
the Romans made in the old slow days when they were not fighting; but
it is all right for the purpose intended, at least, for what we intend
it, and that is enough. The abutment of the bridge I am referring to
was 50 feet in length, and what must they all do but start at once at
the climbing business, like a lot of schoolboys eager to get there
first, and I had only time to think a moment, and to shout,
"'Be careful, gentlemen, please, the mortar has not had time to set
yet, it's green.'
"Lucky, I said 'yet'; but between you and me, I should be an old one,
and no mistake, if I had to wait till it set right.
"They got upon the first offset all serene; but when they footed it on
the third, down they came, and humpty-dumpty was not in it with the
show. It was a flat procession and a general lay-out, and such a
rubbing of mid-backs occurred as few have seen before. They fell soft,
though, as we had partly finished backing up the bridge. I was nearly
had; but I had a bit in hand with which to squeeze home at the finish,
and get in the first words. They were:--
"'Gentlemen, I had no time to warn you, but the mortar has not had time
to set all round, it is green; and where it has set, it is that
powerful it often shifts the stones first, and then clenches them
tight, and there is no parting them at all; they become gripped
together just as by nature in the quarry. It is wonderful material, and
the best lime known, or that I have had to do with during thirty years
of hard working experience."
"Of course, the directors could say nothing; they were bankers and
solicitors, or such-like, nor could the engineers. It did not do to
make out the masonry had not been properly executed. I thought I had
got off beautifully, and the whole party were just going to start when
out of the blessed wall, there and then, flew two pheasants!"
"Well, I never!"
"You wait. Yes; and before we could speak, out came a fox. I own I was
nearly beaten, but one of the directors, turning to us, said, 'You
appear to have a veritable Noah's ark here, and we know a pheasant is a
gallinaceous bird.'
"We all laughed. He then went on to say, 'Perhaps if we wait long
enough the procession will continue. This may be the ancestral home of
the dodo or the mastodon. Who can say it is not?' They again laughed.
"Now, you know, there is no denying, neither a pheasant nor a fox can
squeeze themselves through an ordinary-sized mortar joint. While
laughing I got my mind right, and said, 'Gentlemen, I feel sure the
poachers have been on the prowl here, and have disturbed the work.'
"'Yes,' said the director. The others seemed afraid to speak. There is
always a cock in every farmyard, and he was in this. 'A four-legged
poacher--the fox; and I am afraid, if we do not exercise due care, the
board will be charged with larceny.'
"Then we all thought we ought to laugh, and did. 'Gentlemen,' I said,
'I'm sure the bridge has been tampered with, and no doubt if we keep
watch we shall find the rascals.'
"Excuse me now saying 'rascals' to you, but, old chum, of course
between ourselves, that is you and me, we have never done any
poaching."
"Not we, certainly: at least we forget doing it if we did. A good
memory is not always a blessing, or to be owned to, although it's
useful."
"Shake. That's right. As we understand each other, I will now tell you
how things ended. I went on to say to the gentlemen, 'I will root out
this matter; and may I ask you to say nothing to anyone. My partner and
myself will get to the bottom of it. Trust your old servants,
gentlemen.' Then I raised my hat. That fetched them; for one turned,
and said to me:--
"'I cannot send my keepers to-night, but to-morrow they shall meet you
here at six. Please watch to-night.'
"He then handed to me a five-pound note. Blessed if he did not own the
land for miles round and I did not know it. I beamed all over, and said
I would, and looked as humble as only an old sinner can; and I was just
going to forget to tell you I put that 'fiver' carefully away, to keep
it from the poachers."
"I could believe that of you; I could, old chap, without your saying
it."
"Well, now talk about 'all's well that ends well;' this was better than
that--simply crumbs of comfort, except the awkwardness of the situation
before the finish.
"I suppose you want to know all about the cause of the tumbling show."
"Yes; I am waiting to know."
"Very well, I will tell you. I had become greedy, and as there was not
much more work for me on that railway, I used to make it a rule,
wherever I was, and before leaving, to have a final haul in by way of a
loving remembrance of a past country in which I had spent some part of
my life in opening up to civilization, and the immeasurable benefits of
rapid and cheap locomotion. Is that good enough?"
"Rather; it likes me much."
"Now this bridge was a beauty to draw on, so we just left a few voids
here and there. Tipping the backing must have broken a bit of the wall
unknown to me, or something must have given way in the night; and I
suppose the birds walked in, and the fox after them, and then the
abutment settled and the backing pushed it closer together. Now the
birds got to a place where the fox could not reach, and there very
likely they would have been, three caged-up skeletons; but the Swiss
mountain climbing spoilt that fun, and pulled down the wall
sufficiently to raise the curtain on the show.
"It so happened that all the engineers and residents had to go away on
some land case--I like _other_ people to go to law; and so we had three
clear days to put things in order; and we did, you bet, and began
almost before the break of day. I had an untarnished reputation at
stake, and was on my metal. My partner and myself just about both
smiled over the fun real mutual admiration."
"The engineers did not say much for we had been paid, and they knew
they would get nothing out of us, and therefore proceeded on the
principle that it is no use stirring dirty water, and I say, and
maintain, that on the whole--not _in_ the hole, mind you--never was
more solid and firmer masonry put together than our work, although we
took care to do as we liked, and relieved the foundations of some
strain now and again, and improved the specification.
"I forget whether I watched for poachers that night, but I might have
done for a few minutes, so as to make it all right; but as my memory is
not clear on the point, I had better say I fancy I did not, but I met
the keepers next night; and did a three hours watch and told them a
lot, and got well rewarded. Pay me and I'll patter pretty; but no pay,
no patter, is my motto. The only thing that grieved me was losing those
pheasants and the fox's brush and head. That was hard luck, but there!
life is full of disappointments which are hard to bear."