TUNNELS.
"Have I told you of my scare in a tunnel I got some 'extra' profit out
of by real scamping?"
"Not that I remember."
"Well, that was a whitener, for I was almost trapped, nearly caught,
and paid out. Retributed, I think it is called, but there, I am not
sufficiently educated, although you and me have had a good deal more
schooling than any others on this work, which perhaps is not too much
of a recommendation. Anyhow, you agree, don't you?"
"Of course I do!"
"Well, let us drink. Now we are oiled, the machinery will start again
easy and soft, and continue going for some time, but don't you consider
we know enough to suit us. I have watched various guv'nors I have had,
and they seem to be thinking and puzzling their brains even when they
are eating, and I don't think their digestion is improved by it. A
peaceful mind needs no pills. It is medicine for the upper works, and
exercise and good food is the right physic for the body unless you are
half a corpse when born. Now, when we eat, we have a look at the goods
first, and all we trouble about is to divide the vegetables, meat, and
bread, and beer, so that they last the show out in their proper
quantity to the finish."
"That's it, but what has that to do with the scare at the tunnel and
the scamping?"
"You wait. Really you should know impatience is not polite; and to be a
good listener, and look as if every word that was said to you was
virgin information and pure wisdom, is the best game to play."
"That is enough, get to the tunnel scare and scamping."
"Well, why I named about my food was, my old woman was queer just then,
a lying up on the cherub business, and the party that she had to look
after things was no cook, few are, and I believe she was paid by some
of those pill proprietors to make people ill and then pill them. Anyhow
I got queer and dreadfully out of sorts, and just at the time I was a
regular nigger, and had taken a length of tunnel lining, and in such
ground, horrid dark yellow clay, and it smelt awfully bad. We called
the tunnel the pest-hole. What with the food being wrong, and the
hateful place, I did the worst bit of scamping I ever was guilty of."
"Fortunately, the engineer knew what he was about, and our profiles
were nearly round, that is, the section of the tunnel was nearly
circular; if they had not been, that tunnel would have been filled up
by this time, and perhaps been the grave of hundreds, and it nearly
was. There were eight rings in the lining, and therefore some bulk to
play with. I got frightfully pesky about the job, and meant getting out
of it as quickly as possible, and did. I am not the one to play about
and squat, action is my motto; and I am busy if there is anything to be
got, and keen on the scent."
"You are right there. You generally find a fox, and get his brush,
too."
"I was roused. The brickwork was in Portland cement, and believe me, I
never would have done what I did if it had been lime mortar. Must draw
the line somewhere, and the easiest conscience has a limit to being
trifled with. You know, tunnel work gives one chances that are not to
be had in the open, and the temptation is strong. I dropped word on the
quiet, 'Be careful to-night with the first two rings and then'--well,
they twigged, and I had no occasion to say much. Afterwards, the
material that was given them went in anyhow. But bless me, we had
Portland cement, it was supplied by the company, you understand. It
held almost anything together, firm as a rock. I said to my ganger,
whatever material you are given, so long as it is clean, will do, and
it will be just like conglomerate. The inspector was inclined to be my
way of thinking, and, by a manual operation on my part, he fully agreed
with me, and said he had always been of the same opinion, only other
people failed to comprehend his meaning. It has been said the pen is
mightier than the sword, and so it may be; but ten hours writing, and a
ten hours speech full of argument, have not the same force with some
inspectors as a few sovereigns judiciously placed to aid them in
arriving at a proper view of a subject."
"You are right; bribes and lies are twin brothers."
"Well, it was just a scamper all round. Yes, scamper and scamping. I
had some good brickies then--militia chaps, smart, and they could stay.
They made the rings grow; I forget how much we got in that night, but a
good length, for the bricks ran short at one end of the tunnel, and we
were close up to the face at the other end. No one that I did not want
to see was about. After measuring, I found we were short at least
twenty yards of bricks, and only about two thousand or so left, so I
said, 'Lads, if you finish the ring by five o'clock, you shall have a
quid amongst you; but do it, and keep the beautiful clean face on for
all you are worth.'
"I looked a bit crafty at them, and they twigged the tune to play. I
took old Bond--he was my ganger--with me, and said to him, 'How are we
going to do the lining?' We can't fetch bricks from the other end, and
I draw the line at timber to do duty as bricks. I waited, and the
'extra' profit string of my brain worked right, and I pointed and said,
'There is a heap of broken bricks and no one knows what; well, twenty
yards of that won't be noticed if you take it equally all round; put
that in, and dose it with cement, and rake it well on the top of the
rings, and don't forget to finish the top nicely and clean to a hair if
you have not time to fill in all of it. Keep the best stuff for near
the finish, and enough bricks to make a solid strip or two, and I am
otherwise engaged or tired-out till four. Wake me then; I'm off for a
peaceful snooze.' Well, they got it all in, and nothing was known
till--I won't name it yet, it must wait."
"I suppose the bricks you took from the brick-yard were tallied, and
deliveries checked with the work done in the lining?"
"Yes; but there is tallying of all sorts, and, of course, the right
amount of bricks were taken from the yard early next morning, but where
they went is best known to the yard foreman, the inspector of
brickwork, and the dealer; but as my partnership with them is now at an
end, of course my memory fails me, and I am sorry I can't give you any
more information in that direction. It grieves me to keep back anything
from you, and is so unlike me."
"I don't want to hurt your feelings. All right, I understand."
"Talk about varieties of concrete, why we had sardine and meat tins,
all sorts and sizes and weights and ages, tiles, ashes, bones, glass,
broken crockery, oyster shells, and a lot of black-beetles and
such-like shining members of creation. They all did their duty to the
best of their ability. What else there was I would rather not try to
remember, but it was _not_ bricks."
"Don't trouble, I can understand. We are all pushed a bit for the right
goods sometimes, and have to make shift; but it is hard, very hard, to
have to do it."
"Well, I found out that the bricks were not quite so many as I thought,
and for a 5 feet length, about 15 feet from shaft No. 7, they had to do
with one ring of brickwork, and the rest, my patent midnight
conglomerate. That frightened me, and had I known it at the time, I
would have stopped the show; of course I would, you know me. I always
draw the line somewhere."
"Right you are; although 'somewhere' is an easy-stretching sort of
place, and there is not much of a fixed abode about it; but it can
generally be found on a foggy night."
"It's my belief they did not put in enough cement mortar, and carry out
my orders, which indeed was very wrong of them."
"What do you mean, your orders were wrong?"
"Oh dear no, of course not, not likely--_their_ orders were wrong, not
mine. You don't follow me rightly. You understand now? Dwell on it, and
I'll wait."
"Oh yes, it was stupid of me. There, I am not so young as I was, nor so
quick."
"Now we are coming to the scare. Pass my glass, it makes me feel weak,
it does.
"That conglomerate length stood all right, more by luck than anything
else, till one night, although all the rest was sound work and done
properly, for it was well looked after, and there was no chance of a
slide towards extra profit; besides, the ground would not have stood
unbared long, and, of course, short lengths had to be the order, and
were bound to be carried out, for the clay soon got dropsy and swelled.
"Well, my guv'nor took a contract for a line about 20 miles away from
the tunnel. I had some work on it, and had to go to London, it was
abroad, for I was called up by him, It was a slow train, and followed
an express goods. There was a signal box at each end of the tunnel, and
a fair traffic, and fast trains passed. Something got wrong with a
wagon of the express goods train--I never knew exactly what it was but
anyhow, nothing very serious, for the permanent way was all right and
so were the wheels and axles. We were stopped by hand-signal in the
tunnel, and there may have been something wrong with the signals, but
that does not matter for what I am going to tell you."
"Were you scared to think the train after you would telescope you?"
"No, for there was none for an hour and a half.
"Well, the carriage I was in pulled up just under the place where that
patent midnight conglomerate length was put in, and I looked up and saw
the old spot had bulged, and was yawning, and looked to me as wide and
moving as the Straits of Dover in a S.W. gale, and a lot worse, and it
seemed to be getting wider every minute, and I saw something drop. I
was alone in the compartment, and it was fortunate I was for many
reasons or I know they would have found me out. I knew the place. How
could I forget it? It was just by the shaft. The passengers were
talking to the guards, or were otherwise engaged. Presently I heard the
down mail coming at a rare speed. I said to myself, 'There is not much
the matter, or they would not let her go through.' She was the last
passenger train down that night, and lucky she was, you will soon say.
Oh! dear me, when I heard her I felt cold and hot, and my heart got to
my teeth, and I believe if I had not kept my mouth shut it would have
jumped out, that's true. What scared me most was not about the mail
train, I knew she would be right, and would be past the spot before the
ground had time to tumble in. She was going too quick, but our train,
_and me_, right under the place, and bound to be there _after_ the mail
had shaken it to bits! That's what made me feverish.
"I said to myself, 'You are paid out in your own coin, you are.' Before
I had time to think more the mail went by all serene, and I hardly dare
move, but slid up on the seat just in time to see her tail lights
vanish. I then looked up, and if it had been my scaffold it could not
have been worse. Oh! fill my glass up, nearly neat, while I wipe my
forehead. Thank you. Yes, I looked up, and saw the crack had widened
and was becoming wider, and chips were falling now and again as large
as hailstones! I knew it was bound to come down. I looked to my watch,
another full hour had to pass before the next train was due behind us.
I was just going to get out, when I heard the guard coming along on the
footboard, and he said, 'Another five minutes and we are off,
gentlemen.' He did not see the falling pieces, as the carriage hid
them, but I did, and the engine blowing off steam prevented him hearing
them. Soon he reached my carriage, and said, 'You are the only
gentleman in this carriage.' He would not say anything more. I heard
him repeat the same words almost as he moved along the train, 'Five
minutes and we are off, gentlemen.'
"I said to myself, 'Five minutes more and I am buried and off for ever
somewhere,' for I was certain in five-and-a-half the lining would burst
and down everything would come and crush us to powder. I did not care
to think what else or how much. I cannot describe how I felt, but drink
squalls are nothing to it. I kept my watch out of my pocket, and gazed
at it till I hated it. One minute passed--two--three--and then I
watched the second-hand go round. What I suffered cannot be told. I
looked out of the window. I heard a whistle. It did not sound like our
engine, it seemed too shrill. I had no fear of a train being behind us
as I knew our road was blocked. Was it a down special excursion, or a
down special goods, I said, tremblingly, to myself, for I knew all the
down ordinaries had gone for the night. 'If it is,' I said to myself,
'you are settled and corpsed, and have made your own grave, and it will
be a rough one.' I won't say what I did then, but know it would suit a
clergyman.
"Thank goodness I was wrong, the whistle was from _our_ engine, but it
had been low and now was shrill. I was so feverish that I forgot the
steam was blowing off. At last we started, and I looked at my watch. It
was five minutes ten seconds from when the guard spoke. I knew I was
safe, but thought I would look back. I was just able to see in the
glimmering, as the fire-box was open, and by the tail lamps the last
carriage had well cleared the shaft when there was a horrid hollow
sound like waves breaking in a long cavern, and I saw something come
down like a veil across the metals. The tunnel was in, fallen in with a
slow smash, and not a minute after we started!
"I don't know how long it took the train to get to the signal-box at
the entrance, but we pulled up there, and the first thing I remembered
was the guard saying to me, 'No one is hurt, you need not be
frightened, but we have to thank God for it. Terrible shave. The tunnel
has fallen in, and just where your carriage stood!'
"I said, 'Oh!' and sank back upon the seat. The guard again came to me
and popped his head in and said 'You are the only passenger that knows
what is up. Keep it quiet, if you please. Shouting will do no good, and
I shall be much obliged to you. It's no fault of mine or the Company's.
Are you ill, sir?'
"'No, but I saw the tunnel fall in.'"
"'Traffic is stopped, sir, at both ends. The wires are right as we had
reply from the other end of the tunnel. I thought you must have seen it
fall in, because you looked very white, and were clasping the window
frame with both hands and shaking so. I was afraid you had been almost
scared with fright.'
"'No, I am not ill, but I saw it fall.'"
"'Well, sir, it is no fault of mine or the Company's, although I am
sorry it has frightened you a little.' He then went away and we started
again."
"When he said, 'It is no fault of mine,' bless you, it near cut my
vitals out, it did; for I knew it was my fault and no other person's,
and that it was only by the act of Providence the mail was not smashed
to bits, and us too. I made a vow there and then never to have anything
more to do with tunnels, and whenever I go through one I always feel
wrong and twitchy, and shut my eyes till the rattle tones down and I
know we are in the open."
"How much fell in?"
"About 20 yards altogether in length. Traffic had to go round for a
month, but the rest of the work was all-right, and so it really was,
and I ought to know. No one found out that nearly the whole of the
fallen length had been scamped, for everything was broken and mixed up,
and, as luck would have it, a spring burst out there and the flow had
to be led away to one entrance, and the falling-in was always put down
to that, and that only; still I know the ground was a bit cracked, and
underground waters have mighty force, and are best guided and not tried
to be stopped, for they will come out somewhere.
"I met my guv'nor next day, and he quietly said to me, 'I have let the
tunnel work on your length to an old foreman,' and then he looked clean
through me. I know he thought a lot, and I'm afraid I can't play the
game of bluff as good as some can, and so work 'extra' profit out of
ruins. What do you think of that scare?"
"I don't want to think about it. Glad I had nothing to do with it.
Dreadful! No wonder you have a wrinkle or two. What shocking hardships
we all have to pass through in getting 'extra' profit, and so
undeserved!"