man in some restraint, and preserves his ways from becoming inhumanly
corrupt. Mighty is the power of woman in this respect. Every virtue in
woman has its influence on the world. A brother, husband, friend, or son
is touched by its sunshine. Its mild beneficence is not lost. A virtuous
woman in the seclusion of her home, breathing the sweet influence of
virtue into the hearts and lives of its loved ones, is an evangel of
goodness to the world. She is a pillar of the external kingdom of right.
She is a star, shining in the moral firmament. She is a priestess,
administering at the fountain of life. Every prayer she breathes is
answered, in a greater or less degree, in the hearts and lives of those
she loves. Her heart is an altar-fire, where religion acquires strength
to go out on its mission of mercy.
We can not overestimate the strength and power of woman's moral and
religious character. The world would go to ruin without her. With all
our ministers and Churches, and Bibles and sermons, man would be a
prodigal without the restraint of woman's virtue and the consecration of
her religion. Woman first lays her hand on our young faces; she plants
the first seeds; she makes the first impressions; and all along through
life she scatters the good seeds of her kindness, and sprinkles them
with the dews of her piety.
A woman of true intelligence is a blessing at home, in her circle of
friends, and in society. Wherever she goes she carries with her a
health-giving influence. There is a beautiful harmony about her
character that at once inspires a respect which soon warms into love.
The influence of such a woman upon society is of the most salutary kind.
She strengthens right principles in the virtuous, incites the selfish
and indifferent to good actions, and gives to the light and frivolous a
taste after something more substantial than the frothy gossip with which
they seek to recreate themselves.
Many a woman does the work of her life without being noticed or seen by
the world. The world sees a family reared to virtue, one child after
another growing into Christian manhood or womanhood, and at last it sees
them gathered around the grave where the mother that bore them rests
from her labors. But the world has never seen the quiet woman laboring
for her children, making their clothes, providing them food, teaching
them their prayers, and making their homes comfortable and happy.
A woman's happiness flows to her from sources and through channels
different from those that give origin and conduct to the happiness of
man, and in a measure will continue to do so forever. Her faculties bend
their exercise toward different issues, her social and spiritual notions
demand a different aliment. Her powers are eminently practical. She has
a rich store of practical good sense, an ample fund of tact, skill,
shrewdness, inventiveness, and management. It is her work to form the
young mind, to give it direction and instruction, to develop its love
for the good and true. It is her work to make home happy, to nourish all
the virtues, and instill all the sweetness which builds men up into good
citizens. She is the consoler of the world, attending it in sickness;
her society soothes the world after its toils, and rewards it for its
perplexities. They receive the infant when it enters upon its existence,
and drape the cold form of the aged when life is passed. They assuage
the sorrows of childhood, and minister to the poor and distressed.
Loveliness of spirit is woman's scepter and sword; for it is both the
emblem and the instrument of her conquest. Her influence flows from her
sensibilities, her gentleness, and her tenderness. It is this which
disarms prejudice, and awakens confidence and affection in all who come
within her sphere, which makes her more powerful to accomplish what her
will has resolved than if nature had endowed her with the strength of a
giant. As a wife and mother, woman is seen in her most sacred and
dignified aspect. As such she has great influence over the characters of
individuals, over the condition of families, and over the destinies of
empires.
How transitory are the days of girlhood! The time when the cheerful
smile, the merry laugh, and the exulting voice were so many expressions
of happiness,—how quickly it passed! How time has multiplied its
scores, and accumulated its unwelcome effects against the charms and
attractions of youth! But if the heart be chilled, if the cheek be more
pale, and the eye less bright; if the outward adornment of the temple of
love have become faded and dimmed, there may be yet inwardly preserved
the shrine where is laid up the sacred treasures of loveliness and
purity, gentleness and grace, the attempered qualities of tried and
perfected virtues: as if the blossoms of early childhood had ripened
into the mellow and precious fruits of autumnal time.
But in another and better sense a good woman never grows old. Years may
pass over her head, but if benevolence and virtue dwell in her heart she
is as cheerful as when the spring of life first opened to her view. When
we look at a good woman we never think of her age; she looks as happy as
when the rose first bloomed on her cheek. In her neighborhood she is a
friend and benefactor; in the Church, the devout worshiper and exemplary
Christian. Who does not love and respect the woman who has spent her
days in acts of kindness and mercy, who has been the friend of sorrowing
ones, whose life has been a scene of kindness and love, devotion to
truth and religion. Such a woman can not grow old; she will always be
fresh and beautiful in her spirits and active in her humble deeds of
mercy and benevolence.
If the young lady desires to retain the bloom and beauty of youth, let
her not yield to the way of fashion and folly; let her love truth and
virtue; and to the close of her life will she retain those feelings
which now make life appear a garden of sweets ever fresh and green.
[Illustration: HOME HARMONIES.]
[Illustration]
Can there be a more important theme to claim the attention of thinking
parents than that of home harmonies, how to make the home life so
pleasant and full of kindly courtesy that its members will look to it as
the pleasantest spot on earth, and find their highest enjoyment in
advancing the innocent pleasures of home? Is it not the duty of parents
to make their homes as pleasant as they possibly can for their children
and their mates? Should they not strive to have them resound with the
fun and frolic of childhood, and enlivened with the cheerfulness of
happy social life? For too many homes are like the frame of a harp that
stands without strings. In form and outline they suggest music, but no
melody arises from the empty spaces; and thus it happens that home is
unattractive, dreary, and dull.
And do you, fathers and mothers, you who have sons and daughters growing
up around you, do you ever think of your responsibility of keeping alive
the home feeling in the hearts of your children? Remember that within
your means the obligation rests upon you of making their homes the
pleasantest spot on earth, to make the word home to them the synonym of
happiness. Go to as great length as you consistently can to provide for
them those amusements, which, if not provided there, entice them
elsewhere. You had better spend your money thus than in ostentation and
luxury, and far better than to amass a fortune for your children to
spend in the future. The richest legacy you can leave your child is a
life-long, inextinguishable, and fragrant recollection of home when time
and death have forever dissolved the enchantment.
Give him that, and on the strength of that will he make his way in the
world; but let his recollection of home be repulsive, and the fortune
you may leave him will be a poor compensation for the loss of that
tenderness of heart and purity of life, which not only a pleasant home,
but the memory of one would have secured. Remember, also, that while
they will feel grateful to you for the money you may leave them, and
will think of you when gone, they will go to your green graves and bless
your very ashes for that sanctuary of quiet comfort and refinement, to
which you may, if you possess the means, transform your home. The memory
of the beautiful and happy homes of childhood will in after years come
to the weary mind like strains of low, sweet music, and in its silent
influence for good will prove of infinite more value than houses,
stocks, and money.
Too frequently the effect of prosperity is to render the heart cold and
selfish; but the heart will never forget the hallowed influence of happy
home memories. It will be an evening enjoyment to which the lapse of
years will only add new sweetness. Such a home memory is a constant
inspiration for good, and as constant a restraint from evil. A constant
endeavor should be made to render every home cheerful. Innocent joy
should reign in every heart. There should be found domestic amusements,
fireside pleasures, quiet and simple they may be, but such as shall make
home happy, and not leave it that irksome place that will oblige the
youthful spirit to look elsewhere for joy.
There are a thousand unobtrusive ways in which we may add to the
cheerfulness of home. The very modulations of the voice will often make
a wonderful difference. How many shades of feeling are expressed by the
voice! What a change comes over us by a change of tones! No delicately
tuned harp-string can awaken more pleasures, no grating discord can
pierce with more pain. It is practicable to make home so delightful that
children shall have no disposition to wander from it or prefer any other
place. It is possible to make it so attractive that it shall not only
firmly hold its own loved ones, but shall draw others into its cheerful
circle. Let the house all day long be the scene of pleasant looks,
pleasant words, kind and affectionate acts; let the table be the happy
eating-place of a merry group, and not simply a dull board where the
members come to eat. Let the sitting-room at evening be the place where
a merry company settle themselves to books and games, till the round of
good-night kisses are in order. Let there be some music in the
household, not kept to show to company, but music in which all can join.
Let the young companions be welcomed and made for the time a part of the
group. In a word, let the home be surrounded by an air of cozy and
cheerful good-will. Then children will not be exhorted to love it; you
will not be able to tempt them away from it.
To the man of business home should be an earthly paradise, to the
embellishment of which his leisure time and thoughts might well be
devoted. Life is certainly a pleasanter thing if the inevitable daily
drudgery be relieved by a little lightness, brightness, and intelligent
enjoyment. The craving for amusement is a natural one, and within proper
bounds it ought to be gratified. And there is surely no better
entertainment for the spare hours of an intelligent man than the
embellishment of his home, so that it will be an agreeable place for
himself and his family to dwell in, and for his friends to visit. He may
be assured that his children as they grow up will become better men and
women, and more useful members of society, if they live in a home which
is itself a work of art, and in which they are surrounded by objects
stimulative to the intellect, the imagination, and to all the better
feelings of their natures.
This making home a work of art is not a piece of sentimentalism, but it
is one which ought to address itself in the strongest manner to the
minds of all practical people. There is nothing better worthy of
adornment than the house we live in; and a home arranged and fitted up
with taste will be better cared for, it will beget habits of greater
neatness, it will inspire nobler thoughts, it will exert a pleasanter
influence, not only on its inmates, but on the whole neighborhood, than
one fitted with the costliest objects selected with indiscrimination,
without plan, and merely for the purpose of ostentatious display.
It has been said that there is sure to be contentment in a home in the
windows of which can be seen birds and flowers, and it may also be said
that there will be the same conditions wherever there are pictures on
the walls. A room without pictures is like a room without windows.
Pictures are loop-holes of escape to the soul, leading to other scenes
and other spheres. They are consolers of loneliness, they are books,
they are histories and sermons which we can read without turning over
the leaves. The sweet influence of flowers is no less than that of
paintings. At all seasons of the year they are gladly welcomed. They are
emblematic of both the joys and sorrows of life, and religion has
associated them with the highest spiritual verities. Faded though they
may sometimes be, they have the power to wake the chords of memory and
make us children again. At the sick-bed and marriage feast, on altar and
cathedral walls they have a meaning, and the humblest home looks
brighter where they bloom.
Many a child goes astray, not because there is a want of prayers or
virtue at home, but simply because home lacks sunshine. A child needs
smiles as much as flowers sunbeams. Children look little beyond the
present moment. If a thing pleases them they are apt to seek it, if it
displeases they are prone to avoid it. Children are great imitators, and
are never so happy as when trying to do what they see other people do.
Their plays consist in copying actual affairs of the older ones, and
these amusements often really prepare the children for the actual
business of life, so that they may sooner become helpful to their
parents. They should be watched and encouraged, therefore, in their
plays to habits of thoughtfulness and self-reliance. It is to be hoped
that games of skill, which shall try the wit and patience of both
parents and children, will become the fashion of the times, until every
home in the land shall be supplied with these accessories of pleasure,
until every child shall have in his father's house, be it humble or
costly, such appliances and helps for his entertainment that he shall
find his amusements under his father's roof and in his father's
presence.
Among home amusements the best is the good old habit of conversation,
the talking over the events of the day in bright and quick play of wit
and fancy, the story which brings the laugh, and the speaking the good,
kind, and true things which all have in their hearts. Conversation is
the sunshine of the mind, an intellectual orchestra where all the
instruments should bear a part. Cultivate singing in the family. The
songs and hymns your childhood sung, bring them all back to your memory;
and teach them to the little ones. Mix them all together, to meet the
varying moods as, in after life, they come over us so mysteriously. Is
it not singular what trifles sometimes serve to wake the memories of
youth? And what more often than snatches of olden songs not heard for
many years, but which used to come from lips now closed forever? Thus
the home songs not only serve to make the present home life happy and
agreeable, but the very memory of it will serve as a shield of defense
in times of trial and temptation. At times, amid the crushing mishaps of
business, a song of the olden time breaks in upon the weary thoughts and
guides the mind into another channel—light breaks from behind the cloud
in the sky, and new courage is given us.
Parents do well to study the character of the younger ones. The majority
of parents do not understand their children. They are kept under
restraint, and are not properly developed; they live a life of fear
rather than of love, which should not be. Home should be the bright
sanctuary of our hearts, the repository of all our thoughts. Have
confidence in each other, and the seeds properly sown will spring forth
with fruits that will bud and blossom, but never die. What is comparable
to a well regulated, happy home? It is our heaven below, where each
thought will vibrate in perfect unison.
In the great majority of cases it will be found that the frequenters of
saloons and places of low resort have not pleasant homes. It should be
the duty of all to strive to make home so happy that each evening will
furnish pleasant memories to lighten the load of another day. Make it so
happy that you do not tire of it, but long for the hour when your day's
toil is over, and you desire to reach it as the happiest and dearest
place on earth. Parents should more earnestly consider the importance of
home culture, home happiness, home love. The latter should be the ruling
element, for all the household is moved by the surrounding influences,
and when a spirit of love broods over the household, how kind, gentle,
and considerate do all its members become!
There are some persons who apparently live more for the admiration of
others than for their own household, and have a smile for all but those
who should be the nearest and dearest. This is almost criminally wrong;
they could take no surer course to make a complete wreck of their own
happiness and the home happiness. Whatever vexatious troubles parents
meet in their daily life, it is their duty no less than it should be
their chief pleasure to strive, as far as possible, to throw around the
home an atmosphere of joy and happiness, to make home the dearest spot
on earth, so that when, with the passage of years, the children go from
thence to new and untried scenes, the memory of home will bring to the
heart a thrill of joyful recollections, and thus give them a new courage
to take up the burden of life.
[Illustration: HOME DUTIES.]
"And say to mothers what a holy charge
Is theirs; with what a kingly power their love
Might rule the fountains of the new-born mind;
Warn them to wake at early dawn and sow
Good seed before the world has sown its tares."
—MRS. SIGOURNEY.
[Illustration]
Duty embraces man's whole existence. It begins in the home, where there
is the duty which children owe to their parents on the one hand, and the
duty which parents owe their children on the other. There surely can be
no more important duties to ponder over long and earnestly than those
relating to the home, the duty of patience, of courtesy one to the
other, the interest in each other's welfare, the duty of self-control,
of learning to bear and forbear.
One danger of home life springs from its familiarity. Kindred hearts at
a common fireside are far too apt to relax from the proprieties of
social life. Careless language and careless attire are too apt to be
indulged in when the eye of the world is shut off, the ear of the world
can not hear. There should be no stiffness of family etiquette, no
sternness of family discipline, like that which prevailed in olden
times—the day for that is passed. But the day for thorough civility and
courtesy among the members of a home, the day for careful propriety of
dress and address, will never pass away. It is here that the truest and
most faultless social life is to be lived; it is here that such a life
is to be learned. A home in which true courtesy and politeness reigns is
a home from which polite men and women go forth, and they go out
directly from no other. It should be remembered that it is at home, in
the family, and among kindred, that an every-day politeness of manner is
really most to be prized; there it confers substantial benefits and
brings the sweetest returns. The little attentions which members of the
same household may show towards one another, day by day, belong to what
is styled "good manners." There can not be any ingrained gentility which
does not exhibit itself first at home.
Children should be trained to behave at home as you would have them
behave abroad. It is the home life which they act out when away. If this
is rude, gruff, and lacking in civility, they will be lacking in all
that constitutes true refinement, and thus most painfully reflect on the
home training when in the presence of strangers. In the actions of
children strangers can read a history of the home life. It tells of duty
undone, of turmoil and strife, of fretful women and impatient men; or,
it speaks of a home of love and peace, where patience sits enthroned in
the hearts of all its members, and each is mindful of his or her duty
towards the other.
Let the wives and daughters of business men think of the toils, the
anxieties, the mortification and wear that fathers undergo to secure for
them comfortable homes. Is it not their duty to compensate them for
these trials by making them happy at their own fireside? Happy is he who
can find solace and comfort at home. And husbands, too, do not think
enough of the thousand trials and petty, vexatious incidents of the
daily home life to which wives are subject. True, they themselves feel
the harassing incidents of business, which may be of more immediate
importance than the cares of home. But one large worry is preferable to
many small ones. Thus it is the duty of each to remember these facts,
and strive to make the home life happy by mutual self-sacrifice.
Something is wrong in those homes where the little courtesies of speech
are ignored in the everyday home life. When the family gather alone
around the breakfast or dinner table the same courtesy should prevail as
if guests were present. Reproof, complaint, unpleasant discussion, and
sarcasm, no less than moody silence, should be banished. Let the
conversation be genial and suited to the little folks as far as
possible. Interesting incidents of the day's experience may be mentioned
at the evening meal, thus arousing the social element. If resources fail
sometimes little extracts read from evening or morning papers will
kindle the conversation. Scolding is never allowable; reproof and
criticism from parents must have their time and place, but should never
intrude so far upon the social life of the family as to render the home
uncomfortable. A serious word in private will generally cure a fault
more easily than many public criticisms. In some families a spirit of
contradiction and discussion mars the harmony; every statement is, as it
were, dissected, and the absolute correctness of every word calculated.
It interferes seriously with social freedom where unimportant social
inaccuracies are watched for and exposed for the sake of exposure.
Never think any thing which affects the happiness of your children too
small a matter to claim your attention. Use every means in your power to
win and retain their confidence. Do not rest satisfied without some
account of each day's joys or sorrows. It is a source of great comfort
to the innocent child to tell all its troubles to mother, and the mother
should haste to lend a willing ear. Soothe and quiet its little heart
after the experience of the day. It has had its disappointments and
trials, as well as its plays and pleasures; it is ready to throw its
arms around the mother's neck, and forgetting the one live again the
other. Always send the little child to bed happy. Whatever cares may
trouble your mind give the little one a good-night kiss as it goes to
its pillow. The memory of this in the stormy years which may be in store
for it will be like Bethlehem's star to the bewildered shepherd, and the
heart will receive a fresh inspiration of courage at the thrill of
youthful memories.
The domestic fireside is a seminary of infinite importance. It is
important because it is universal, and because the education it bestows,
woven with the woof of childhood, gives color to the whole texture of
life. Early impressions are not easily erased; the virgin wax is
faithful to the signet, and subsequent impressions serve rather to
indent the former one. There are but few who can receive the honors of a
college education, but all are graduates of the heart. The learning of
the university may fade from recollection, its classic lore may be lost
from the halls of memory; but the simple lessons of home, enameled upon
the heart of childhood, defy the rust of years, and outlive the more
mature but less vivid pictures of after days. So deep, so lasting are
the impressions of early life that you often see a man in the imbecility
of age holding fresh in his recollection the events of childhood, while
all the wide space between that and the present hour is a forgotten
waste.