each! How many are the brothers who, when thrown into circumstances of
temptation, have found the thought of a sister's love a constant, holy
presence, rebuking every wayward thought! How many brothers are there
from whom death separated the sister years ago who yet feel her
influence thrown around them like sweet incense from an unseen censer;
who are arrested, when just about to take a downward step, by the memory
of a reproving look from eyes that have long been closed; who have
pursued their weary path of duty, cheered by the remembrance of a smile
from lips that will never smile again!
Who can tell the thoughts that cluster around the word sister? How ready
she is to forgive the foibles of a brother! She never deserts him. In
adversity she clings closely to him, and in trial she cheers him. When
the bitter voice of reproach is poured in his ears she is ever ready to
hush its hard tones, and to turn his attention away from its painful
notes. Let him move in pleasant paths, she hangs clusters of flowers
about him.
In watching his favored career and listening to his eulogy she feels the
purest satisfaction. The cold grave can not crush her affections for
him—it outlives her tears and sighs; and hence she often wanders to the
spot where he reposes with the fragrant rose-bush and creeping
honeysuckle, and plants them on his tomb; and who will dare to affirm
her love perishes when she passes away from earth? May it not live far
off in the glorious land, increasing in fervor and intensity as the
years of eternity pass away?
Affection does not beget weakness, nor is it effeminate for a brother to
be firmly attached to a sister. Such a boy will make a noble and brave
man. The young man who was accustomed to kiss his sweet, innocent sister
night and morning as they met shows its influence upon him. He will
never forget it, and when he shall take some one to his heart as his
wife she shall reap the golden fruits thereof. The young man who is in
the habit of giving his arm to his sister as they walk to and from
church will never leave his wife to find her way as best she can. He who
has been trained to see that his sister was seated before he sought his
own will never mortify a neglected wife in the presence of strangers.
And the young man who frequently handed his sister to her chair at the
table will never have cause to blush as he sees some gentleman extend to
his wife the courtesy she knows is due from him.
The intercourse of brother and sister forms an important element in the
happy influence of home. A boisterous or a selfish boy may try to
domineer over the weaker or more dependent girl. But generally the
latter exerts a softening influence. The brother animates and heartens;
the sister modifies and refines. The vine-tree and its sustaining elm
are the emblems of such a relation; and by such agencies our "sons may
become like plants grown up in youth, and our daughters like
corner-stones polished after the similitude of a temple."
Sisters scarcely know the influence they have over their brothers. A
young man is pretty much what his sister and young lady friends choose
to make him. If sisters are watchful and affectionate they may in
various ways lead them along till their characters are formed, and then
a high respect for ladies and a manly self-respect will keep them from
mingling in low society.
Girls, especially those who are members of a large family, have a great
influence at home, where brothers delight in their sisters, and where
parents look fondly down on their daughters. Girls have much in their
power with regard to those boys; they have in their power to make them
gentler, truer, purer; to give them higher opinion of woman; to soften
their manner and ways; to tone down rough places, and shape sharp,
angular corners. They should interest themselves in their pursuits, and
show them by every means in their power that they do not consider them
and their doings beneath their notice.
But few sisters realize how much they have to do with the welfare of
their brothers—how much it is in their power to win them to the right
modes of thoughts and actions by little acts of sisterly attentions. If
they would but spare an hour now and then from their peculiar employment
to their boyish sports, and not turn contemptuously away from the books
and amusements in which they delight, they would soon find how a gentle
word would turn off a sharp answer; how a genial look would effectually
reprove an unfitting expression; how gratefully a small kindness would
be received, and how unbounded would be the power for good they would
obtain by a continuance of such conduct.
Fortunate is the family that possesses such an elder sister. The mother
confides in her, the father takes pride in her ability to aid and cheer
the household, and the younger ones lean upon her. By her counsels, her
example, her influence, she may do as much as the parents to give to the
family life. She is at once companion and counselor for the younger
members, since separated by only a brief interval from the sports of
childhood she can sympathize easily with the little wants and little
griefs that fill the child's heart to overflowing, and show it how to
compass its desires and forget its sorrows. A short girlhood is usually
the allotment of the oldest daughter; but this is more than made up to
her in the long and delightful companionship she has with her mother, in
the sense she is made to have of her own importance in the family, and
the unusual capability she is obliged by the force of circumstances to
acquire and display.
It is a law of our being that no improvement that takes place in either
of the sexes is confined to itself; each is the universal mirror to
each, and the refinements of the one will always be in reciprocal
proportion to the polish of the other. The brother and sister should
grow up together, be educated at the same school, engage in the same
sports, and, as far as practicable, in the same labors. Their joys and
sorrows, tastes and aims, should be mutual as far as possible. The same
moral lessons, obligations, and duties should bear upon them. It is an
error that the youths of our land are separated in so many of the most
important duties of life.
Much evil is caused by mistaken opinions on this point. The girls are
taught that it is not pretty to be with the boys and the boys that it is
not manly to be with the girls, while at the same time the society of
each is necessary for the best development of character in the other.
When they do meet it is only for sport and nonsense, to cajole and
deceive each other. Hence the good influence they should have upon each
other is in a great measure lost. They are unacquainted with each other,
know not each other's natures, and have but little interest in each
other's business and duties.
We want the girls to rival the boys in all that is good, refined, and
ennobling. We want them to rival the boys, as they well can, in
learning, in understanding, in all noble qualities of mind and heart,
but not in any of the rougher qualities and traits. We want the girls to
be gentle—not weak, but gentle—and kind and affectionate. We want to
be sure that wherever a girl is there should be a sweet, subduing, and
harmonizing influence of purity and truth and love pervading and
hallowing from center to circumference the entire circle in which she
moves. It is her mission to instruct the boys in all needful lessons of
neatness and order, of patience and goodness.
We want the boys to be gentle, courteous, and considerate towards their
younger sisters; to be the protector and emulator of their virtues. We
want to be sure that where there is a boy there will go forth the
influence inspired by the courage of manly self-respect—a respect that
keeps him from mingling in low society. We want him to be every whit a
man, a fit friend and companion for true womanhood. We want to see them
both enjoy the Spring-time of life, for this is the season of joy, of
bliss, of strength, of pride; it is the treasury of life, in which
nature stores up those riches which are for our future employment and
profit. Youth is to age what the flower is to the fruit, the leaf to the
tree, the sand to the glass. Hence we want to see them both so using the
golden age of youth as to be able to reap a rich harvest in the years of
maturity.
[Illustration]
[Illustration: MANHOOD.]
[Illustration]
Manhood is the isthmus between two extremes—the ripe, the fertile
season of action, when alone we can hope to find the head to contrive
united with the hand to execute.
Each age has its peculiar duties and privileges, pleasures and pains.
When young we trust ourselves too much; when old we trust others too
little. Rashness is the error of youth, timid caution of age. In youth
we build castles and plan for ourselves a course of action through life.
As we approach old age we see more and more plainly that we are simply
carried forward by a mighty torrent, borne here and there against our
will. We then perceive how little control we have had in reality over
our course; that our actions, resolves, and endeavors, which seemed to
give such a guiding course to our life,
"Are but eddies of the mighty stream
That rolls to its appointed end."
In childhood time goes by on leaden wings,—ten, twenty years, a
life-time seems an endless period. At manhood we are surprised that time
goes so rapidly; we then comprehend the fleeting period of life. In old
age the years that are passed seem as a dream of the night, our life as
a tale nearly told. Childhood is the season of dreams and high resolves;
manhood, of plans and actions; age, of retrospection and regret.
There is certainly no age more potential for good or evil than that of
early manhood. The young men have, with much propriety, been denominated
the flower of a country. To be a man and seem to be one are two
different things. All young men should carefully consider what is meant
by manhood. It does not consist in years simply, nor in form and figure.
It lies above and beyond these things. It is the product of the
cultivation of every power of the soul, and of every high spiritual
quality naturally inherent or graciously supplemented. It should be the
great object of living to attain this true manhood. There is no higher
pursuit for the youth to propose to himself. He is standing at the
opening gates of active life. There he catches the first glimpse of the
possibilities in store for him. There he first perceives the duties that
will shortly devolve upon him. What higher aim can he propose to himself
than to act his part in life as becomes a man who lives not only for
time but for eternity? How earnestly should he resolve to walk worthily
in all that true manhood requires!
There are certain claims, great and weighty, resting upon all young men
which they can not shake off if they would. They grow out of those
indissoluble relations which they sustain to society, and those
invaluable interests—social, civil, and religious—with all the duties
and responsibilities connected with them, which are soon to be
transferred to their shoulders from the venerable fathers who have borne
the burden and heat of the day. The various departments of business and
trust, the pulpit and the bar, our courts of justice and halls of
legislation, our civil, religious, and literary institutions, all, in
short, that constitute society and go to make life useful and happy, are
to be in their hands and under their control.
Society, in committing to the young her interests and privileges,
imposes upon them corresponding claims, and demands that they be
prepared to fill with honor and usefulness the places which they are
destined to occupy. Young men can not take a rational view of the
station to which they are advancing, or of the duties that are coming
upon them, without feeling deeply their need of high and peculiar
qualifications.
Every young man should come forward in life with a determination to do
all the good he can, and to leave the world the better for his having
lived in it. He should consider that he was not made for himself alone,
but for society, for mankind, and for God. He should consider that he is
a constituent, responsible member of the great family of man, and, while
he should pay particular attention to the wants and welfare of those
with whom he is immediately connected, he should accustom himself to
send his thoughts abroad over the wide field of practical benevolence.
There is within the young man an uprising of lofty sentiments which
contribute to his elevation, and though there are obstacles to be
surmounted and difficulties to be vanquished, yet with truth for his
watchword, and relying on his own noble purposes and exertions, he may
crown his brow with imperishable honors. He may never wear the warrior's
crimson wreath, the poet's chaplet of bays, or the statesman's laurels;
though no grand, universal truth may at his bidding stand confessed to
the world; though it may never be his to bring to a successful issue a
great political revolution; to be the founder of a republic which shall
be a distinguished star in the constellation of nations; even more,
though his name may never be heard beyond the narrow limits of his own
neighborhood, yet is his mission none the less a high and noble one.
In the moral and physical world not only the field of battle but also
the cause of truth and virtue calls for champions, and the field for
doing good is white unto the harvest. If he enlists in the ranks, and
his spirits faint not, he may write his name among the stars of heaven.
Beautiful lives have blossomed in the darkest places, as pure, white
lilies, full of fragrance, sometimes bloom on the slimy, stagnant
waters. No possession is so productive of real influence as a highly
cultivated intellect. Wealth, birth, and official station may and do
secure an external, superficial courtesy, but they never did and never
can secure the reverence of the heart. It is only to the man of large
and noble soul—to him who blends a cultivated mind with an upright
heart—that men yield the tribute of deep and genuine respect. A man
should never glory in that which is common to a beast; nor a wise man in
that which is common to a fool; nor a good man in that which is common
to a wicked man.
Since it is in the intellect that we trace the source of all that is
great and noble in man it follows that if any are ambitious to possess a
true manhood they will be men of reflection, men whose daily acts are
controlled by their judgment, men who recognize the fact that life is a
real and earnest affair, that time is fleeting, and, consequently,
resolve to waste none of it in frivolities; men whose life and
conversation are indicative of that serious mien and deportment which
well becomes those who have great interests committed to their charge,
and who are determined that in so far as in them lies life with them
shall be a success, who fully realize the importance of every step they
may take, and, consequently, bring to it the careful consideration of a
mind trained to think with precision.
The man who thinks, reads, studies, and meditates has intelligence cut
in his features, stamped on his brow, and gleaming in his eye. Thinking,
not growth, makes perfect manhood. There are some who, though they are
done growing, are only boys. The constitution may be fixed while the
judgment is immature; the limbs may be strong while the reasoning is
feeble. Many who can run and jump and bear any fatigue can not observe,
can not examine, can not reason or judge, contrive or execute—they do
not think. Such persons, though they may have the figure of a man and
the years of a man, are not in possession of manhood; they will not
acquire it until they learn to look beyond the present, and take broad
and comprehensive views of their relations to society.
As we often mistake glittering tinsel for solid gold, so we often
mistake specious appearances for true worth and manhood. We are too
prone to take professions and words in lieu of actions; too easily
impressed with good clothes and polite bearings to inquire into the
character and doings of the individual. Man should be rated, not by his
hoards of gold, not by the simple or temporary influence he may for a
time exert, but by his unexceptionable principles relative both to
character and religion. Strike out these and what is he? A savage
without sympathy! Take them away, and his manship is gone; he no longer
lives in the image of his Creator. No smile gladdens his lips, no look
of sympathy illumes his countenance to tell of love and charity for the
woes of others.
But let man go abroad with just principles, and what is he? An
exhaustless fountain in a vast desert! A glorious sun, shining ever,
dispelling every vestige of darkness. There is love animating his heart,
sympathy breathing in every tone. Tears of pity—dew-drops of the
soul—gather in his eye, and gush impetuously down his cheek. A good man
is abroad, and the world knows and feels it. Beneath his smile lurks no
degrading passion; within his heart there slumbers no guile. He is not
exalted in mortal pride, not elevated in his own views, but honest,
moral, and virtuous before the world. He stands throned on truth; his
fortress is wisdom, and his dominion is the vast and limitless universe.
Always upright, kind, and sympathizing; always attached to just
principles, and actuated by the same, governed by the highest motives in
doing good; these constitute his only true manliness.
[Illustration]
[Illustration: WOMANHOOD.]
[Illustration]
It should be the highest ambition of every young woman to possess a true
womanhood. Earth presents no higher object of attainment. To be a woman
is the truest and best thing beneath the skies. A true woman exists
independent of outward adornments. It is not wealth, or beauty of
person, or connection, or station, or power of mind, or literary
attainments, or variety and richness of outward accomplishments, that
make the woman. These often adorn womanhood, as the ivy adorns the oak,
but they should never be mistaken for the thing they adorn.
The great error of womankind is that they take the shadow for the
substance, the glitter for the gold, the heraldry and trappings of the
world for the priceless essence of womanly worth which exists within the
mind. Every young man, as a general rule, has some purpose laid down for
the grand object of his life—some plan, for the accomplishment of which
all his other actions are made to serve as auxiliaries. It is to be
regretted that every young woman does not also have a set purpose of
life—some grand aim, grand in its character. She should, in the first
place, know what she is, what power she possesses, what influences are
to go out from her, what position in life she was designed to fill, what
duties are resting upon her, what she is capable of being, what fields
of profit and pleasure are open to her, how much joy and pleasure she
may find in a true life of womanly activity.
When she has duly considered these things, she should then form the high
purpose of being a true woman, and make every circumstance bend to her
will for the accomplishment of this noble purpose. There can be no
higher aim to set before herself. There is no nobler attainment this
side of the spirit-land than lofty womanhood. There is no ambition more
pure than that which craves this crown for her mortal brow. To be a
genuine woman, full of womanly instincts and power, forming the
intuitive genius of her penetrative soul, the subduing authority of her
gentle yet resolute will, is to be a peer of earth's highest
intelligence. All young women have this noble prize before them. They
may all put on the glorious crown of womanhood. They may make their
lives grand in womanly virtues.
A true woman has a power, something peculiarly her own, in her moral
influence, which, when duly developed, makes her queen over a wide realm
of spirit. But this she can possess only as her powers are cultivated.
It is cultivated women that wield the scepter of authority among men.
Wherever cultivated woman dwells, there is refinement, intellect, moral
power, life in its highest form. To be a cultivated woman she must
commence early, and make this the grand aim of her life. Whether she
work or play, travel or remain at home, converse with friends or study
books, gaze at flowers or toil in the kitchen, visit the pleasure party
or the sanctuary of God, she keeps this object before her mind, and
taxes all her powers for its attainment.
Every young woman should also determine to do something for the honor
and elevation of her sex. Her powers of mind and body should be applied
to a good end. Let her resolve to help with the weight of her
encouragement and counsels her sisters who are striving nobly to be
useful, to remove as far as possible the obstacles in their way. Let her
call to her aid all the forces of character she can command to enable
her to persist in being a woman of the true stamp. In every class of
society the young women should awaken to their duty. They have a great
work to do. It is not enough that they should be what their mothers
were—they must be more. The spirit of the times calls on women for a
higher order of character and life. Will they heed the call? Will they
emancipate themselves from the fetters of custom and fashion, and come
up, a glorious company, to the possession of a vigorous, virtuous, noble
womanhood, that shall shed new light upon the world and point the way to
a divine life?
Woman's influence is the chief anchor of society, and this influence is
purifying the world, and the work she has already accomplished will last
forever. No costly marble can build a more enduring monument to her
memory than the impress she makes on her own household. The changing
scenes of life may hurl the genius of man from eminence to utter ruin;
for his life hangs on the fabric of public opinion. But the honest form
of a true mother reigns _queen_ in the hearts of her children forever.
Man's admirers may be greater, but woman holds her kindred by a silken
cord of familiar kindness, strengthened and extended by each little
courtesy of a life-time. Man may make his monument of granite or of
marble, woman hers of immortality. Man may enjoy here, she will enjoy
hereafter. Man may move the rough crowd by his eloquence, woman will
turn his coarseness into a cheerful life. Man may make laws and control
legislatures, woman will mold their minds in the school-room and be the
author of their grandest achievements. Cruelty she despises, and it
lessens at her bidding; purity she admires, and it grows in her
presence; music she loves, and her home is full of its melody; happiness
is her herald, and she infuses a world with a desire for enjoyment.
Without her, cabins would be fit for dwellings, furs fit for clothing,
and all the arts and improvements would be wanting in stimulus and
ambition; for the world is moved and civilization is advanced by the
silent influence of woman.
This influence is due not exclusively to the fascination of her charms,
but to the strength, uniformity, and consistency of her virtues,
maintained under so many sacrifices and with so much fortitude and
heroism. Without these endowments and qualifications, external
attractions are nothing; but with them, their power is irresistible.
Beauty and virtue are the crowning attributes bestowed by nature upon
woman, and the bounty of Heaven more than compensates for the injustice
of man. The possession of these advantages secures to her universally
that degree of homage and consideration which renders her independent of
the effect of unequal and arbitrary laws. But it is not the incense of
idol-worship which is most acceptable to the heart of woman; it is the
courtesy, and just appreciation of her proper position, merit, and
character. Woman surpasses man in the quickness of her perception and in
the right direction of her sympathies; and thus it is justly due to her
praise that the credit of her acknowledged ascendency is personal amidst
the increasing degeneracy of man.