CHAPTER XXXII

In London, blest with competence.

With temper, health, and common sense,

None need repine or murmur--nay,

All may be happy in their way.

E'en the lone dwelling of the poor

And suffering, are at least obscure;

And in obscurity--exempt

From poverty's worst scourge--contempt.

Unmark'd the poor man seeks his den.

Unheeded issues forth again;

Wherefore appears he, none inquires,

Nor why--nor whither he retires.

All that his pride would fain conceal,

All that shame blushes to reveal;

The petty shifts, the grovelling cares,

To which the sous of want are heirs;

Those evils, grievous to be borne,

Call forth--not sympathy, but scorn;

Here hidden--elude the searching eye

Of callous curiosity.

~~415~~~

The following morning was one of unusual bustle, activity, and anxiety,

the originally intended movements of the party being thus unexpectedly

interrupted. Dashall had arisen before his usual hour, and departed from

home before the appearance of Sparkle and Bob to breakfast: it was, of

course, supposed that the promised duel would have decided the fate of

one of the antagonists before they should see him again.

In this conjecture, however, they were pleasingly disappointed by his

arrival about half past eleven o'clock.

“Well,” said Sparkle, “it is all over--who has fallen--which is the

man--how many shots--what distance--who was the other second--and where

is the wounded hero?”

“Nay,” said Tom, “you are before-hand with me; I have none of the

intelligence you require.--I have been in search of Lord Bluster,

who left town this very morning, three hours before my arrival, for

Edinburgh; and consesequently, I suppose, either has no intimation of

Laconic's intention to seek, or if he has--is determined to be out of

the way of receiving a regular challenge; so that, in all probability,

it will end, like many other duels, in smoke.”

~~416~~~ “Notwithstanding your friend's letter was so full of fire,”

observed Tallyho.

“But perhaps he became more cool over a bottle of claret--toe to toe, my

boy,” continued Sparkle.

This conversation was interrupted by a letter, which being delivered

to Tom, he read aloud, interrupted only by laughter, which he could not

restrain.

“Dear Tom, “Don't like fighting in England--am off directly for

Cork.--Tell Bluster I'll wait there till he comes--but if he values

his life, not to come at all.---Please do the needful in despatching my

servants, &c. within two days, for I am in such a passion I can't wait a

moment.--So adieu.

“Yours, sincerely, Laconic.”

“Excellent, upon my word,” said Sparkle; “here are two men of honour

determined upon meeting, running away from each other even before the

preliminaries are arranged.”

“There is novelty in it at least,” said Tom, “though I am by no means

astonished at the end of it; for I before observed, I do not think

either of them over fond of powder. Laconic pretended that nothing would

satisfy him but fighting immediately, provided Bluster was to be found:

any person to whom bis character was not known would have expected

some spilling of blood before this time. But it is now plain that this

blustering was the effect of the wine, and the man's cooler judgment has

extinguished the flame of his irritability.”

“I think,” said Tallyho, “it would be well to advise them to meet

half-seas over, and draw a cork together by way of settling their

differences.”

“Curse their differences,” replied Dashall, “I'll have nothing more to

do with them: upon the whole, I am glad now that I could not meet with

Bluster, or I should have looked like a fool between the two; and as it

is, I am not much pleased with the adventure, particularly as it must

necessarily delay me, and I hate the idea of travelling alone. I should

very much have liked to start with you; but as Laconic has made me fully

acquainted with his affairs, in case he should fall in the intended

duel, I must even comply with the contents of his note; though, if he

had not actually departed, you may rest assured I would have nothing to

do with him or his concerns.”

~~417~~~ “Come, come,” cried Sparkle, “grumbling is of no use now; and

as the circumstances are not made public, the duellists will escape

being laughed at. There is no harm done--we must be upon the alert--we

shortly bid adieu to London, and shall not be so well pleased to

leave you behind; but remember you promise to follow as quickly as

possible.--Now, how shall we dispose of the remainder of the time?”

“Zounds,” replied Tom, “all my plans are deranged by this foolish affair

of Laconic's, and I can hardly tell which way to move.--However, I shall

not devote myself to his affairs to-day; therefore I am at your service;

and as time is but short with us, let us make good use of it. The

tragedy of the duel having ended most comically, I am prepared for any

thing farcical; therefore say the word, and I am your man for a toddle,

east, west, north, or south.”

Upon this intimation, our friends sallied forth upon a sort of Quixotic

excursion in search of adventures, for neither could make up his mind

as to the precise place of their destination, when the first object that

attracted their particular notice was a large printed bill, announcing

to the public, “That the sale at Fonthill Abbey, advertised for the 8th

of October, would not take place, in consequence of the property being

disposed of by private contract.”{1}

1 The following appeared in the daily prints relating to

this valuable property:--

“FONTHILL ABBEY. “The sale at this splendid mansion is not

to take place, the estate having been sold by private

contract; the purchaser is said to be Mr. Farquhar, a rich

East India merchant, who is reported to have given 330,000L.

for the property. It is stated that every article in the

Abbey goes with it, with the exception of the family plate

and pictures, and a very few favourite rarities. Possession

is to be taken immediately. The sale of the whole estate is

an event for which the people of the place seem to have been

totally unprepared. They were led to believe, from the

beginning, that nothing was to be sold but the mere luxuries

of the place; but as to the Abbey, they universally

asserted, in the strongest manner, as if they had good

reason to be convinced of the thing, that Mr. Beck-ford

would as soon part with his life as with a residence which

he prized so dearly. Now, however, that they have heard from

the steward, that the estate has been sold, and that he has

received notice to quit his office in a fortnight, they

begin to feel that they have lost an excellent landlord. Mr.

Beckford has taken a house in town, in the New Road, where

he means chiefly to reside in future. Every body is aware

that the chief part of that princely income, which enabled

him to raise this expensive edifice from the foundation, was

derived from his paternal estates in the West Indies. Such

was the wealth which those estates at one time pro-duced,

that it obtained for his grandfather the distinction of

being considered the richest subject in Europe. For the last

ten years they have declined very materially, and several of

them have been entirely lost through a defect that has been

discovered in the title. The original purchaser obtained

these in the way of mort-gage, and having foreclosed them in

an untechnical manner, advantage has been taken of the

informality by the heirs of the mortgagors, and Mr. Beckford

has been dispossessed. The defence of his title, and the

other consequences, involved him in losses and vast

expenses; besides which, the revenue from his unquestionable

estates in those islands has declined to less than one-tenth

of what it formerly was. Mr. Farquhar, the gentleman who is

reported to have purchased Fouthill Abbey, is the principal

partner and proprietor of Whitbread's brew-house, and is

likewise at the head of the first mercantile house in the

City, for the management of all agency concerns, connected

with India.”

~~418~~~ “Thousands of people,” says Dashall, “who had been flocking to

that neighbourhood, intending to obtain a view of the premises, will, by

this event, be disappointed. Several of my friends have paid a visit to

it, and describe it as a most princely mansion.”

“And pray,” inquired Sparkle, “what is the cause of its being sold at

all 1 It has always been reported that Mr. Beckford was a man of very

extensive property.”

“That appears to be a little mysterious, and report, who is always a

busy fellow on extraordinary occasions, has not been idle: by some it is

stated, that Mr. Beckford suffered great and irreparable losses in his

West India property, and that there are in the Abbey at this moment

executions to the amount of eighty thousand pounds; that the view of the

effects has taken place entirely under the control of the sheriffs: by

others it is asserted that no such embarrassment exists. However, be

that as it may, the public have been highly gratified for some time past

in being permitted to view the estate and the valuable curiosities it

contains; and the produce of the admission tickets, which has probably

netted twenty thousand pounds, goes to the liquidation of the debts.”

~~419~~~ “And an excellent plan for raising the wind too,” said Tallyho;

“the example, I suppose, has been taken from Wanstead House.”

“Most likely,” was the reply; “but if it is true that the disposal of

the property is occasioned by the embarrassment of its owner, it cannot

but excite painful and melancholy reflections on the tenure by which

men hold the goods of this life. Those who were acquainted with Mr.

Beckford's circumstances some years ago, thought him so secured in the

enjoyment of a princely income, that he was absolutely out of the reach

of ill fortune, being at one time in the actual receipt of one hundred

thousand pounds a year. It cannot be said of him that he has wasted his

inheritance at the gaming-table. The palace which he raised on a barren

mountain, the greater part of those vast plantations which surround it,

the collection of books, and of rare specimens of art, and the superb

furniture, which gives such peculiar dignity and splendour to the

interior of his residence, speak at once the immensity of his means, and

attest the propriety and gracefulness of their application.”

“We ought to have taken a trip there to have seen this earthly

paradise,” rejoined Tallyho; “but now I suppose it is all over.”

“Certainly,” was the reply; “and it is a circumstance for which the

people in the neighbourhood appear to have been totally unprepared. They

were led to believe, from the beginning, that the mere luxuries of

the place were to be sold, and the public announcement of this had the

effect of filling the county of Wilts with pleasure-hunters from all

quarters. He was fortunate who, for some time past, could find a

vacant chair within twenty miles of Fonthill: the solitude of a private

apartment was a luxury which few could hope for; and an old friend

of mine informs me, in one of his letters, that, coming from London,

travellers first met their troubles about Salisbury, The languages of

France, of Holland, and of Germany, the peculiarities (in tongue) of

Scotland and Ireland, the broad dialect of Somersetshire, the tinckling

accent of Wales, and the more polished tones of metropolitan residents,

were all, at the same moment, to be heard clashing and contending. There

were bells ringing, and chamber-maids screaming--horses prancing, and

post-boys swearing--wheels clattering, and waiters jostling--guests

threatening, and hubbub and confusion the orders of the day:--and all

this to see something which half of them, when they got there, if they

were so fortunate, could not obtain a sight of. So that, perhaps, we

have been quite as well off in remaining at home.”

~~420~~~ “That was spoken like a philosopher,” said Sparkle,

dryly.--“But pray, who is to be the future possessor of this fine

estate?”

“A Mr. Farquhar, who, according to the best information I have obtained,

is a man of an extraordinary character, and has given 330,000L. for it

as it stands, with every article in the Abbey except the family plate

and pictures, and a few very favourite rarities. Some interesting

particulars of the purchaser have recently been made known; from which

it appears, that he is a native of Aberdeen, and went out early in life

to India, where he was employed in the medical department. Chemical

research was his favourite pursuit: there was some defect in the manner

of manufacturing gunpowder, and Mr. Farquhar was selected to give his

assistance. By degrees, he obtained the management of the concern, and

finally he became the sole contractor to the government. In this way

wealth and distinction rapidly poured in upon him. After some years of

labour, he returned to England with half a million of money; and it is

somewhat curious that a man possessed of so much money upon his arrival

at Gravesend, should, merely to save the expense of coach-hire, walk up

to London; which, however, it appears he did, when his first visit,

very naturally, was to his banker. Without waiting for refreshment or

alteration of attire, full of dust and dirt, with clothes not worth a

guinea, he presented himself at the counter, and asked for Mr. Coutts.

The clerks, not much prepossessed in his favour by his appearance,

disregarded his application; and he was suffered to remain in the

cash-office under the idea of his being some poor petitioner, until Mr.

Coutts, passing through it, recognized his Indian customer, the man whom

he expected to see with all the pomp of a nabob. Mr. Farquhar requested

to have five pounds; which having received, he took his departure. This

anecdote strongly marks the character and habits of the man. He soon

afterwards settled in Upper Baker-street, where his house was to be

distinguished by its dingy appearance, uncleaned windows, and general

neglect. An old woman was his sole attendant; and his apartment, to

which a brush or broom was never applied, was kept sacred from her care.

His neighbours were not acquainted with his character; and there have

been instances of some of them offering him money as an object of

charity.”

~~421~~~ “An admirable tenant for such a place as Fonthill, truly,”

observed Sparkle.--“Why, what the devil will he do with it now he has

got it?”

“Perhaps,” said Dashall, “I ought to refer you to the man himself for

an answer to such a question, for I am at a loss to guess; he is now

sixty-five years of age, and still in single blessedness.”

“A very enviable situation,” remarked Sparkle, “However,” continued Tom,

“he has done some good in the world, and may live to do more. He became

a partner in the great agency house in the City, of Basset, Farquhar,

and Co.; besides which, he purchased the late Mr. Whitbread's share in

the brewery. Part of his great wealth was devoted to the purchase of

estates; but the great bulk was invested in stock, and suffered to

increase on compound interest. He is deeply read in ancient and modern

literature, and has a mind of extraordinary vigour and originality;

his conversation of a superior order, impressive and animated on every

subject. His sentiments are liberal, and strangely contrasted with his

habits. His religious opinions are peculiar, and seem to be influenced

by an admiration of the purity of the lives and moral principles of the

Brahmins. It is said that he offered 100,000L. to found a college in

Aberdeen, with a reservation on points of religion; to which, however,

the sanction of the legislature could not be procured, and the plan

was dropped. He has been residing in Gloucester-place, where he

has furnished a house in a style of modern elegance, and, so far

as appearances are concerned, indulges in several luxuries; but his

domestic habits are still the same, and his table seldom labours with

the pressure of heavy dishes. He has one nephew, to whom he allows, or

did allow, 300L. per year; has but few other claims of family; and it

is probable that his immense wealth will be bequeathed to charitable

purposes, as the great object of his ambition is to leave his name to

posterity as the founder of some public institution. To that passion

may, perhaps, be attributed the purchase of Fonthill Abbey; for his age

and infirmities totally unfit him for the enjoyment of such ~~422~~~

a place. He is diminutive in person, and by no means prepossessing in

appearance; his dress has all the qualities of the antique to recommend

it; and his domestic expenditure, until the last year, has not exceeded

200L. per annum, although his possessions, money in the funds, and

capital in trade, are said to amount to a million and a half!”

“Why, he is an oddity indeed,” exclaimed Tallyho, “and I think he ought

to be exhibited as the eighth wonder of the world.”

“Certainly we cannot look upon the like every day: there are instances,

it is said, of his having returned letters merely because the postage

was not paid, although he has, on more than one or two occasions, given

away, at once, for praise-worthy purposes, ten and twenty thousand

pounds.”

“Then,” rejoined Sparkle, “he is a trump, and deserves to be

respected:--but where are we bound to?”

“Nay,” replied Tom, “I have no choice upon the subject.”

“Nor I neither,” said Gayfield, stepping smartly up to him, and catching

him by the hand--“so come along--I'll guide you to good quarters and

comfortable accommodation.--Dine with me, and we will have a cut in at

whist.--What say you?”

This proposition was acceded to, and away they went to Gayfield's

apartments, where a very hospitable and friendly entertainment was

presented to them with every mark of a hearty welcome. In the evening,

the glass circulated freely, and cards being introduced, they enjoyed an

agreeable and pleasant game, at which nothing particular occurred; after

which they jumped into a rattler, and were conveyed home, very well

satisfied with every attention they had received from Gayfield, except

the eternal rattle of his tongue.

Real Life In London, Volumes I. and II. Or, The Rambles and Adventures of Bob Tallyho, Esq., and His Cousin, the Hon. Tom Dashall, Through the Metropolis; Exhibiting a Living Picture of Fashionable Characters, Manners, and Amusements in High and Low Life (1821) · 第 32 / 34 章