A CODE OF TABLE MANNERS.
Many of the cautions contained in this chapter will seem elementary in
their nature. But one expects in a book of this kind to see the old
familiar "don'ts," and their absence would perhaps deter from the
usefulness of The Complete Bachelor. I would, however, suggest a careful
study of that clever _brochure_, entitled Don't, which would refresh the
memory on many points not within the scope of this work. It is really
quite surprising to see how few men have perfect table manners. The
American is unfortunately too often in a hurry. He bolts his food. He is
a victim of the "quick-lunch" system. Again, a bachelor eating a
solitary meal at a club or a restaurant is apt from sheer loneliness to
try and dispose of it as rapidly as possible. Drill yourself into eating
leisurely. Persons of refinement take only small morsels at a time. One
can not be too dainty at table. To attempt to talk while your mouth is
full is another vulgarity upon which it is needless to dwell. The French
have made us the reproach that we frequently drink while our mouths are
in this condition. I fear there is some foundation for this accusation.
Wipe your mouth carefully before putting a glass to your lips. Grease
stains around the edge of a goblet or wineglass are silent but telltale
witnesses of careless habits.
The napkin is an embarrassing article to many men. Its place is on the
lap and not tucked into the shirt bosom or festooned around the neck.
When one arises from the table, the napkin is thrown carelessly on it,
unfolded. The days of napkin rings are over.
Nervous and bashful persons fidget, they do not sit squarely or firmly
at table, their chairs are crooked, they play or gesticulate with their
knives and forks, or they beat dismal tattoos with them against their
plates. These same timid minds find vent for inspiration in the crumbs
of the bread, of which they involuntarily make little figures or small
round balls. The economist, another person on the list, plasters his
food, taking a bit of potato, a little tomato, and a good-sized square
of meat as a foundation, and spreading these tidbits one on the other,
prepares of them a delectable poultice which he swallows at a mouthful.
I pass over the man who leaves traces of each meal on his shirt or his
clothes. Such a being, I have no doubt, would convey food to his mouth
with his knife, would blow on his soup, tea, or coffee with the idea of
cooling it, or would pour the two latter cheering fluids into a saucer
and drink them therefrom.
The caution to keep one's hands above the cloth and one's elbows out of
reach of others, also falls under the head of kindergarten
classification. The ridiculous idea prevailing that one must not eat
until others are served has passed away with many old-time fallacies.
One commences to eat as soon as served. You need not proceed very
actively, but you can take up your fork or spoon, as the case may be,
and make at least a feint at it.
Toasts have also fallen into "desuetude" at private dinners. Sometimes
you will find an old-fashioned host who will, on touching his glass with
his lips, bow to his guests, and they may wait for this signal to sip
their wine, but the custom is utterly obsolete in large cities and at
formal dinners.
When you have finished the course, lay your knife and fork side by side
on your plate, the prongs of the fork upward. Do not cross them. No
whistlike signals are needed to-day to signify that you have had
sufficient to eat.
Dinners are generally served _a la Russe_--that is, from the sideboard,
and the dishes are passed around by the servants on silver trays. Very
large _plats_, such as roasts and fish, are sometimes carried without
the trays. On all occasions of ceremony the men servants are gloved.
Carving at table is but little seen except at very informal dinners and
in the country, where sometimes the master of the house shows off this
old-fashioned accomplishment, especially if he has a dining room in
colonial style and wishes to have everything in keeping.
The question of second helpings is therefore not one of moment. The
servants pass the viands twice or more around. If a host or hostess
serves at table, he or she will ask the guests whether they would like a
second helping. It is never demanded. Except when absolutely necessary
the handkerchief should be kept out of sight. It can be used in case
there should be some sudden irritation of the skin, but to blow one's
nose at table is disgusting.
The American bachelor takes usually a very light first meal. It consists
of tea, coffee, or cocoa, toast, eggs, oatmeal, and fruit. There are yet
a few men who go in for the old-fashioned hearty breakfast with
beefsteak, buckwheat cakes, and trimmings, but in cities the lighter
meal is preferable. All this is, of course, more a matter of environment
and hygiene than etiquette. I have compiled a list of certain viands,
which society does require should be eaten at a special meal and in only
one manner. With this catalogue I will close this chapter.
BREAKFAST AND LUNCHEON DISHES.
_Eggs._--It is much better form to have egg cups than egg glasses for
boiled eggs. Cut the top of the egg off with a dexterous blow of a sharp
knife and eat it in the shell with a small egg spoon.
_Sugar._--Lump sugar if served is always taken with the sugar tongs.
_Butter._--Butter is only served at breakfast or luncheon. It is passed
around in a silver dish, with a little silver pick with which to spear
it. Butter plates--i. e., the small round silver or china affairs--have
given place to bread and butter plates, which are of china and are
somewhat larger than an ordinary saucer. The butter plate of a few years
ago was never seen outside of America, and is now destined to vanish
from our tables. It is needless to add that butter is never served at
dinner.
_Radishes._--Radishes appear at luncheon. Put them on your bread and
butter plate and eat them with a little salt.
_Cantaloupes_ are served cut in half and filled with ice. They are eaten
as a first course, a fork being better to eat them with than a spoon.
Salt is the condiment to use with them, but sugar is allowable. In
southern climates they are sometimes served at dinner as a separate
course between the fish and roast. This is a Creole custom.
_Grape fruit_ is served as a first course (_vide_ chapter Diner-Out) at
a late breakfast or luncheon. It is eaten with a spoon.
DINNER.
The _menu_ of to-day is simple. It consists of oysters or clams,
according to season, soup, fish, _entree_, roast and vegetables, game
and salad, ices and dessert. Sorbets or frozen punches are not served,
except at public banquets and hotel _table-d'hotes_.
_Oysters_ or _clams_ are placed on the table in plates for the purpose
before dinner is announced. They are imbedded in ice and arranged around
a half-sliced lemon, which is in the middle of the plate. Oysters or
clams are eaten with a fork only. Gourmets say that they should not even
be cut with it, and should be swallowed whole. I would not advise any
one to try this with large oysters. The oyster fork is the first in the
number of the implements placed beside your plate. Condiments, such as
pepper and salt, will be passed you. Sauterne is served with oysters.
_Oyster cocktails_ have been in vogue in place of oysters. These are a
mixture of the bivalve with Tabasco sauce and vinegar, and they are said
to be excellent appetizers. They are eaten with a small fork from
cocktail glasses. Bachelors frequently serve them in place of oysters.
_Soup_.--At large and formal dinners a clear soup is in vogue. Your soup
spoon will be on the knife side of your plate. Soup is eaten from the
side and not from the end of the spoon. The motion of the hand guiding
the spoon is toward and not from you. Take soup in small spoonfuls, and
use your napkin in wiping your mouth and mustache after each, especially
if the soup is thick or a _puree_. This will avoid the dripping of that
liquid from your upper lip. Never after this operation throw your napkin
back into your lap with the greasy side toward your clothes, but use the
inside of it for this purpose.
_Fish_ is eaten with a silver fish fork. Chasing morsels of fish around
your plate with bits of bread is obsolete. Silver fish knives have been
put in use, but they are not generally the vogue.
_Cucumbers_ are served with fish on the same plate. Little plates or
saucers for cucumbers, vegetables, or salads are bad form.
_Sherry_ is served with fish.
_Celery_, _olives_, and _salted almonds_ are placed on the table in
small dishes. Sometimes the guests are asked to help themselves, but at
formal dinners they are passed around after the fish. Celery is eaten
with the fingers and dipped in a little salt placed on the tablecloth or
on the edge of your plate. It is also served as an _entree_ raw, the
stalks stuffed with Parmesan cheese. It should then be eaten with a
fork.
_Entrees_ require a fork only. Among these are patties, _rissoles_,
_croquettes_, and sweetbreads.
_Mushrooms_ are eaten with a fork, and served as a separate course in
lieu of an _entree_.
_Terrapin_ is served sometimes in little silver saucepans either as an
_entree_ or as fish, and again in a chafing dish, and sometimes with
salad. It is more of a supper than a dinner plat, and should be eaten
with a fork.
_Asparagus_ is eaten, except in the intimate privacy of your own family
circle, with a fork. Cut the points off with the end of the prongs. The
stalk or white part is not eaten. It is allowable to eat it with your
fingers, as I have said, in private. It is served after the roast as a
special course. One can not drink _champagne_ with _asparagus_ except at
the risk of a severe headache.
_Artichokes_ are served as a separate course after the roast. They
should be placed in the center of your plate and the inside tips of the
leaves alone eaten. The leaves are removed with the fingers and dipped
in salt, _sauce vinaigrette_, or melted butter. The center of the
artichoke is called the heart. The hairy part is removed with the fork,
and the heart itself, which is deliciously tender, is conveyed to the
mouth with the fork.
_Champagne_ is served in small tumblers or claret glasses. The champagne
stem glasses are out of fashion. The _dry_ may be served from the fish
to the close of dinner, but the old rule was to give it with the roast,
_claret_ with the _entree_, and _Burgundy_ with the game.
_Salad_ is eaten with a fork only. In cutting _game_ or _poultry_, the
bone of either wing or leg should not be touched with the fingers, but
the meat cut close off. It is better to sever the wing at the joint.
_Savories_, a species of salt fish and cheese sandwich, is served in
England hot, about the end of dinner. They should be eaten with a fork.
Undressed salad is sometimes served with them, or radishes, butter, and
cheese. This is the only occasion when one sees butter on a dinner
table, and this at informal dinners. The salad undressed can be eaten
with the fingers. At bachelor dinners and at luncheons _cheese_ is
served with salad. The French soft cheeses are the favorites.
_Pastry_, _ices_, and _desserts_ are eaten with a fork.
_Fruit_, such as peaches, pears, and apples, are served frequently
already pared. When this is the case, finger bowls are dispensed with,
but as yet this is not a general rule. Usually at dessert there is
placed before you a finger glass and doily and a dessert plate, with the
dessert knife and fork on either side. Remove the glass and doily; put
it in front of your plate a little to the right. _Fruit_ must be pared
or peeled with a silver knife.
_Strawberries_ are now served with the stems on, and sugar and cream are
passed around and are taken on your dessert plate.
_Pineapples_ are eaten with a fork. A cracker is used for nuts, and
silver picks are brought in with the dessert.
_Corn_ on the cob is a favorite at small informal dinners as a separate
course. In polite society you must remove the grains of the corn with
your fork or your knife and fork, and never eat it off the cob holding
the end with your fingers. By holding one end with your napkin, you can
plow down the furrow of the grains with your fork, and you will find
that they will fall off easily. _Corn_ is always served, when given in
this style, on a white napkin. You help yourself to the ear with your
fingers.
_Macaroni_ and _spaghetti_ should only be eaten with a fork. In New
Orleans boiled _shrimps_ are often served at small dinners. The skins
and heads are on, and you remove these with your fingers. After this
course finger bowls with orange leaves are passed around, and the
perfume of the water will remove the odor of fish from your fingers.
_Black coffee_ is served after dinner. Milk or cream does not accompany
it, except in the country, where sometimes a little silver pitcher of
cream is placed on the tray. Coffee is drunk from small cups. Coffee and
milk are never served during dinner, nor again is iced milk. These are
barbarisms. Chartreuse, kuemmel, curacoa, and cognac are the _liqueurs_
usually served after dinner.
_Claret_, in many French families, especially those of the middle class,
is placed on the table in decanters. You are expected to help yourself.
There are also _carafons_ or decanters of water to mix with the wine.
The claret decanters are called _carafes_. Claret is drunk at the twelve
o'clock _dejeuner_ as well as at dinner.
_Tea_ is passed around in old-fashioned English houses about an hour
after dinner. In some places buttered muffins accompany it, but this
extra refreshment is only seen now in very old-fashioned houses.
_Scotch whisky_ and hot water or mineral waters are served in country
houses before bedtime.