THE CITY BACHELOR AS HOST.
LUNCHEONS, DINNERS, THEATER PARTIES, CLUB AND RESTAURANT SUPPERS,
AND OTHER BACHELOR ENTERTAINMENTS.
The bachelor who entertains is a most popular member of society. It does
not cost a fortune to return in some manner the civilities once
received, and every man, even if his income be limited, can once in a
while entertain, even if it be on a very small scale and in a very
modest way. Bachelor functions are always enjoyable. For a host of
moderate income, I would suggest a luncheon, a dinner, or a party to the
play, followed by a little supper.
A bachelor luncheon can be given either at the host's apartments or
chambers, at a restaurant, or in the ladies' annex of his club, if that
organization possesses such an institution.
At all entertainments given under a bachelor's vine and fig tree,
extreme simplicity should be a characteristic. The table linen should be
of the finest damask, or the best material his income will allow; the
glass perfectly plain, clear crystal, the china of a rich but quiet
pattern, the silver good but absolutely without ornamental devices of
any kind. In fact, the silver can be limited to forks and spoons, and
the rest Sheffield or prince's plate. Silver is not expensive, but plate
is considered quite smart, and it has the advantage of being utterly
valueless from the burglar's point of view.
Individual salt and pepper affairs, cut or colored glass, or the hundred
and one knick-knacks which one sees advertised and which eventually find
their way to the boarding-house table, are vulgar.
Before your cloth is laid you should have a cover of felt placed over
the table, so as to form a shield between it and the damask or linen. In
the center goes a silver or plated fernery, filled with ferns and
asparagus vines, on a mirror tray, or an _epergne_ with fruit. Two
heavy, old-fashioned decanters in Queen Anne coasters should be placed,
one at your right and the other at the right of your _vis-a-vis_. These
contain sherry and claret. Four plain silver, plated, or china dishes
are at the corners with salted almonds, olives, _bonbons_, and fancy
cakes. If you wish to be very effective and have the money to spare, it
is smart at a dinner to have silver candlesticks with candles or tiny
lamps gleaming behind red or pink shades at each cover. Two or three
forks are laid at the left of each plate. If more are required, your
servant will replace them. On the right of the plate are the knives,
including one for the roast, with the tablespoon for the soup, if it is
a dinner, and the oyster fork. The napkins should be plain and flat, and
contain a roll of bread. These hints for arranging the table will do for
either luncheon or dinner. Not one of the articles is in itself
expensive, and you may possess them all with the accumulation of years.
If not, a simpler arrangement could be effected, or you could give the
entertainment at a restaurant instead of your rooms or house. The
invitations can be either verbal or written, but at best a luncheon or
dinner in a bachelor's apartments is regarded as a little frolic, and
you must try to preserve the spirit and waive the formalities.
A chaperon, of course, is necessary. The party can be limited to about
eight. If you have a manservant he should be dressed in black coat and
trousers, white shirt, standing collar and tie, and liveried waistcoat.
His duties are to open the door and to serve the luncheon. But a
manservant is not necessary. Some of the smartest bachelors in New York
give delightful little dinners and luncheons at their apartments, at
which the maid who has cooked the meal, dressed in white apron and black
gown, also serves it.
The _menu_ should be the usual one expected at luncheons, but champagne
is never offered by a man to women in his apartments, unless at dinner
or a theater supper. If a wealthy bachelor has a large house, and
instead of one there are a number of matrons chaperoning, the case is
different. Manhattan or Martini cocktails could be passed around before
luncheon, or some little peculiar dish be served to give a zest to the
occasion.
_A bachelor's dinner_ at his house or apartments is a more formal
entertainment, but it differs in nowise from a regular function of that
character. The chaperon takes the place of the lady of the house for
that occasion. Dressing rooms are arranged for the men and women, and
the same ceremonies observed as at any formal dinner. If the affair is
given in apartments, of course the character must be more or less
informal, as the accommodations are limited. Should you have a man serve
at your dinner, he must be in evening dress. Both at dinner and at
luncheon he must have gloves, but this is not required of a maid.
A bachelor's supper in his own apartments is sometimes given after the
play. Of the _menu_, I will speak a little farther on. A chafing-dish
supper is, however, an unique and enjoyable entertainment. Several
chafing dishes should be ready, so that each course can follow without
delay. Terrapin, truffled eggs, curried oysters, and other dainties of
this kind comprise usually the _menu_. It would be well to serve first
oysters on the half shell, followed by lobster _a la Newburg_, the
latter being the first _plat_ cooked with the chafing dish. Champagne is
a good wine, and allowable for a chafing-dish supper; but if Welsh
rarebits are the _chef d'oeuvre_, then beer or ale would be better.
_A theater party_ should be confined to eight or ten. A _parti
carre_--four people--is delightful. Unmarried women do not go to
theaters or restaurants with a man alone. They must be chaperoned, even
at a matinee or a luncheon party at a hotel or restaurant--in fact, an
unmarried couple is seldom seen at public places in New York, unless
they are engaged, and married women are as much compromised as unmarried
ones by indifference to this absolute rule of etiquette.
The invitations can be either verbal or written. In the season it is
better to write them, to insure the acceptance of guests. Be careful in
the wording to give not only the evening, but the name of the play and
the theater. For a party, always secure end seats, and there will be no
disturbing of others in case you might be a little late. A box is
necessary at the circus or at a music hall, but orchestra seats or
stalls are the best selection for a bachelor's party. Many mothers
object to their daughters being seen at the theater in a proscenium box.
The rendezvous or meeting place should be at the chaperon's. The
vestibule of the theater is awkward, except for parties of four. A stage
is the best vehicle to convey your guests to the playhouse. At the
theater the host sees that his guests are provided with playbills. He
gives the tickets to the usher, and precedes the party down the aisle.
He indicates the order of sitting. A man should go in first, followed by
the woman with whom he is to sit, and then, thus sandwiched, the rest
of the party file in, the host taking the aisle or end seat. The host
sits next to the chaperon. Gentlemen do not go out between the acts at
the theater, but sometimes, when there is a party to the opera, they can
leave their seats if other men come to visit the ladies. A man going in
or out a theater aisle should do so with his face toward the stage and
his back to the seat. A host never leaves his guests. After the play go
a little ahead and give your carriage check to the porter as soon as
possible, so that there may not be a long wait. The porter expects a
small fee. All theater parties are followed by a supper given either at
a restaurant, at the club, in the ladies' annex, or at your bachelor
apartments.
All luncheons, dinners, or suppers at a restaurant, unless organized on
the spur of the moment, are ordered beforehand, and everything,
including the waiter's tip, arranged and settled for. If you have not an
account at the restaurant, pay the bill at the time you order the _menu_
and reserve the table. Flowers should be included, and a centerpiece of
roses, which are so arranged as to come apart and be distributed in
bunches to each of your fair guests, is one of the favorite devices.
Small _boutonnieres_ are provided for the men. The public restaurant or
dining room is the place for a bachelor supper when ladies are guests. A
private room is not proper, and your guests want to see and be seen. The
chaperon is seated at the right hand of the host, unless the party is
given in honor of a particular woman, in which case she has that place.
The chaperon is then at your left. Wraps and coats are taken off in the
hall of the restaurant and checked. There is no order of entry, except
that the host should precede and the others follow.
The usual _menu_ for a theater supper is:
I. Clams or oysters on the half shell.
II. Bouillon in cups.
III. Chicken _croquettes_ or sweetbreads with peas, or lobster _a la
Newburg_.
IV. Terrapin or birds with salad.
V. Ices, cakes, _cafe noir_, _bonbons_.
VI. _Liqueurs_.
With the oysters or clams white wine is served. Champagne follows the
bouillon until the end of the supper.
After supper the party usually returns to the residence of the chaperon,
where the unmarried women have their maids and family escorts awaiting
them. The host accompanies them to the chaperon's house, but the other
men take leave at the restaurant. The chaperon may have it arranged to
have dancing at her house, in which case the party return with her after
supper.
_A supper in the ladies' annex_ in nowise differs from this, except that
you do not tip the waiter or pay the bill, but have it charged in your
monthly account.
The _menu_ for a supper at your own apartments follows the same lines as
those already given.
_Theater clubs_ are associations of women and men, all subscribing,
meeting at the houses of different members, one of whom gives the
supper.
_Bachelors' dances_ or _balls_ are given at a large hall by a number of
unmarried men, who subscribe a certain amount each. A number of
well-known matrons are asked to receive the guests, and a cotillon
usually follows the supper.
_Impromptu lunches_, _dinners_, or _suppers_ at restaurants sometimes
require the immediate settlement of the account. Be careful to draw from
your pocketbook a bill of large denomination, and not a handful of
change. Do not con over or dispute the items. If you have an account,
simply sign the check. If not, it is best to give the waiter his tip and
go to the desk and pay while the members of your party are getting their
wraps.
_Dinners at restaurants_ are frequently given by bachelors, and are
followed by a visit to the theater. The rendezvous is either at the
house of the chaperon or at the restaurant itself, should the party be
limited in number.
The _menu_ varies according to the season. Six courses, including raw
oysters or clams, soup, fish, _entree_, roast and vegetables, birds and
salad, ices and dessert, are sufficient. The form and manner of
entertaining at a dinner of this kind are similar to those observed at
suppers.
To a man who frequently entertains, and at a particular restaurant, an
occasional tip to the head waiter would be of service. This is a word to
the wise.
_Card parties_ for the playing of whist, domino, or poker are often
given by bachelors at their apartments or residences. In apartments this
class of entertainment is only for men. Women should not go to
bachelors' apartments except for luncheon, dinner, or supper. In a
bachelor's house, however, any entertainment can be given. Small stakes
are played for and the usual supper follows. The _farewell bachelor
dinner_ will have its proper place in the chapter on Wedding Etiquette.