Soon they came to the top of the hill and Alice saw a large, heavy man
with a genial smile standing on the lawn of the White House.
"That," said the Red Knight with a frown, "is a deceptive candidate for
the Presidency."
"Why do you call him deceptive?" said Alice.
"Because he always says what he means," replied the Red Knight.
"But that isn't deceiving at all," said Alice.
"Yes, it is," said the Red Knight angrily. "A man like that deceives
people's hopes for novelty and excitement. Now _I_ am a receptive
candidate."
"I don't know what that means, either," said Alice.
"It means," said the Red Knight, "a candidate who receives his views and
his principles as he moves along. I am also a perceptive candidate
because I am as quick as lightning at perceiving which way the wind
blows. Furthermore, I am an inceptive candidate and a susceptive
candidate, and an acceptive candidate. That big man you see over there
is my friend. But he has queer notions about some things. For instance,
he says he'd rather be white than be President."
"Aren't you going to say 'Good morning' to him, if he is your friend?"
said Alice.
"Oh, no," said the Red Knight. "I never do things like other people. I
treat my friends and my enemies alike. I give them all a square deal."
"It seems to me, then," said Alice, "that what you want to do is to walk
over and shake hands and say 'I hope you are feeling quite well, and
here is a square deal for you.'"
"That would never do," said the Red Knight. "When I give a friend a
square deal I give it to him between his shoulder blades, especially if
he has broad shoulders like this man in front of us."
"I don't see that the size of the man's shoulders has anything to do
with it," said Alice.
"That is because you have forgotten your geometry," said the Red Knight.
"If you hadn't you'd know that a square deal on the hypothenuse is equal
to the sum of the square deals on the other two sides."