Produced by Annie McGuire. This book was produced from
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Transcriber's note:
Text enclosed by underscores is in italics (_italics_).
Text enclosed by equal signs is in extra large type (=large=).
Through the
Outlooking Glass
WITH
THEODORE
ROOSEVELT
SIXTH EDITION
PRICE TEN CENTS
THROUGH THE
OUTLOOKING GLASS
_Being the curious adventures of
Theodore the_ Red Knight _in his
quest of the_ Third Cup, _of his
faithful companion_ Alice, _of the_
Old Lady _who lived in a shoe
behind a high tariff wall, and
divers quaint and lively persons,
all comprising a veritable_ Theodyssey
_of incidents, set down
in simple third terms_
BY
SIMEON STRUNSKY
REPRINTED FROM
The Evening Post
NEW YORK
CHAPTER I
Alice was half-way through her cereal when the Red Knight came in and
picked out a place at the same table facing her. He flung his coat over
two hooks on the wall upside down. He then took a piece of chalk from
his pocket and drew a ring on the floor and threw his hat into it.
"Good morning, sir," said Alice, who never forgot her manners under any
circumstances.
"Good evening," said the Red Knight, as he opened his newspaper and
began reading the last paragraph in the last column on the last page.
"But it isn't evening," said Alice. "Why, I am just having my breakfast
before going to school."
"If you were a friend of mine, you'd know what I mean," said the Red
Knight, and turned to the Mad Waiter, who was holding out the bill of
fare for him to read. The Mad Waiter was a progressive waiter. He was so
progressive that he would always be serving people with their supper
before they had finished ordering lunch.
"I'll begin with a third cup of coffee," said the Red Knight. "Then you
can bring me a second cup if it's not too cold. I am sure I don't want
the first cup at all today."
"Thank you, sir," said the Mad Waiter. "The ham and eggs is very fine
today."
"That just suits me," said the Red Knight.
"Too bad," said the Mad Waiter. "Perhaps you'll have a chop, with
pickles and a boiled potato."
"Bully!" said the Red Knight.
"Why, then, there's the cold salmon as many people likes to have a taste
of in the morning," said the waiter.
"Under no circumstances will I eat cold salmon," said the Red Knight,
bringing his fist down on the table with such force that Alice let her
spoon fall to the floor. The Mad Waiter disappeared, and almost
immediately returned with a plate of cold salmon, of which the Red
Knight partook heartily, washing it down with two steaming cups of
coffee. As Alice was gathering up her books before setting out for
school, the Red Knight turned to the waiter and said, "Now bring me the
first cup."
"But you said you were sure you didn't want a first cup," cried Alice,
with some show of spirit.
"That doesn't mean I can't have a first cup without sugar in it, does
it?" said the Red Knight, as he picked up the sugar-bowl and threw it at
the Mad Waiter.