_At_ Salisbury _he comes acquainted with a young man, who relates to him
the_ Breviate _of his life, and instructs him in the most usual Games
at Dice, with all the subtle deceivers that belong to them, and the
dangers that attend them, with a short account of their
Practitioners._
My Reputation in this City increased daily, so that I was now at liberty
to pick and choose my company, I mean from the middle sort of people,
which I knew how to delude, whereas I was not so ignorant, but that men
of better breeding and learning would by my discolouring, Sea-faring
hands, and illiterate tongue find out the imposture of my crafty
pretences. I had a sufficient stock of confidence to manage those
natural parts which some (flatteringly I doubt) highly commended. The
younger sort of People were the Persons I selected to associate my self
withal, and had in that little time gain’d so large an interest in them,
that he offered me too little, I should have thought, that would think
to buy my propriety therein for an hundred a year. Hunting and Hawking
were my dayly Recreations; when we returned home, Drinking and Whoring
were our nightly exercises; and because I was a stranger as I had the
preheminence in most things, so I always paid the least share of any in
the reckoning.
* * * * *
There was one strange Gentleman who usually accompanied us, whom I
particularly observed to have more than common qualifications;
quick-witted, well spoken, sung incomparably, but had the repute of a
notorious Gamester; and well he might, for he had bit both City and
Countrey of considerable sums, so that now being generally known for a
Rook, none durst play with him, yet fancied his company very much. This
Gentleman I singled out, and discourst him throughly as to every thing:
And that I might engage him to a greater freedom, I forged several lies,
charging him with secrecy; this seeming unbosoming my self obliged him
to give me an account of what he was, and for what reasons he came there
in this manner.
* * * * *
_Sir,_ said he, _I was formerly an Apprentice in_ London, _and by reason
of my Masters covetous and ill nature and severity from him, I had not
served him two years e’re I was upon the ramble, (a term of Art
frequently used amongst us;) my Parents with some charge and much
intreaty sawdred up this first crack; but this sore was not so well
cured, but by reason of the inward corruption it broke out again, and
now was the Malady worse than ever, for my Master would not receive me
on any terms, notwithstanding the various perswasions of my friends for
that purpose. My Relations seeing this, and being throughly perplex’t
exercised all their passions on me, and instead of reducing me, took a
course to ruine and destroy me: for they seemingly cast me out of all
favour, which I judged to be real, and having no other dependance than
my Wits (my poverty having frighted all my former friends from coming
near me,) I resolved for a sustenance to make what use I could of them._
_As long as my money lasted, I frequented all places for Gaming
exercises, and now and then some Bawdy-houses, in which I had goten a
large acquaintance; but having spent all I had, I could get no credit
among them, only in one house, where they had so much credulity to
believe my Lies to be infallible Truths, and that I should receive in a
little time those several Sums were due to me abroad, and would have the
honesty to pay my large account. Money not coming as they expected, laid
an Action on my back, and threw me into Goal, where I suffered more than
tongue can utter; but I shall not disclose the name of this Gaoler,
since I shall give you an account of some lines I wrote on him whilst I
was his Prisoner, which were these_;
_This Gaoler sure the Devil gave him birth,
For no such Fury hath his seat on Earth:
A Cannibal which eats the Flesh of Men,
And being gorged, spews than up again.
A Monster that the old World never knew,
Of late produc’d by a litigious crew,
Spawn of a Syren and Leviathan:
Part Fish, part Fowl, part Devil, and part Man.
He Swallows down the poor, as Crows do Frogs,
And makes no more of Men, than Men of Dogs.
The Pris’ner ends his days in toil and sweat,
To fill the Cabbins of his Cabbinet.
This Cash being ravisht from his reaking brow,
Will be all spent the Devil knows not how.
His Celler’s Hell, he lives by other’s sin,
And cares not who doth loose so he may win.
His Beds are dearer than a Bawdy-house,
There you may have a Whore, but here a Louse.
This is that Hell-hound for to sum up all,
Who is both Monster, Devil, and Canniball._
_In this stinking place I stayed so long till I was almost starved, yet
though I had nothing to feed on, I had daily a thousand which fed on me.
The Daughter of my merciless Creditor hearing the miserableness of my
condition gave me a visit, and supplyed me with some Money for the
present, and repeating her visits, pity did at last turn into affection;
this Love soon seeded into Matrimony; for she was her Mothers Darling,
and could perswade her to anything, and so it proved, for she so
prevailed, that I was discharged of my Debt, Fees paid, new Cloaths
bought, and we incontinently marryed. I knew her to be a Whore, but
necessity forced me to do what I did, or I must have perisht._
_My Wife on the Bridal night expected no new thing from me, but a new
fashioned duty; for she told me, if I expected to command, I was grosly
mistaken; that she raised me not out of that Tomb I must have lain
buryed in to my lives end, for that purpose, she knew how to rule her
own affairs without my assistance, however she could not but acknowledge
that man was a necessary implement in a Family, if it were but to cloak
his Wives imperfections; To be short, Sir, I was only a Titular master,
but a real Pimp and Cuckold; I bore all with a world of patience, still
waiting an opportunity to get what I could, and march off: which fell
out as happily as I could wish; for the House was noted to be a place of
debauchery, and whilst my mother in Law was condemned for a damn’d Bawd,
and my Wife for an errant piece of impudence, I was pityed by all as one
drawn in and undone by them both._
_Officers in fine seised them; and carried them to_ Bridewel, _being
both safe from interrupting my fixed resolution, I ransackt the house,
taking what Moneys I found, and selling what would yield me any, I
betook my self to this place, the remoteness whereof from my former
habitation affording me a very convenient refuge. Whilst I have been in
these parts I have not expended my time idly; for in Gaol and elsewhere
I have learned most knacks in playing I have ever heard of, and have
practiced them in many places very advantagiously, for I was a while of
a Gang that stroled all the Countrey over, to all the great Fairs in_
England, _resorting thither as constantly, as such Tradesmen who make it
their business to observe them, exercising their cheating faculties on
all they can pick up fit for their company: the reason why they go three
or four in Company, is, that if any contest in playing should arise, or
any opposition should be made, they may be the better able to defend
their Roguery. Besides, if they should miss of a prize, and be smoakt as
Gamesters, they are then strong enough for mischiefs of another nature,
as_ Padding, Ken-milling, _&c. and indeed let me tell you, there is no
profest Villain which hath not a very great insight in Gaming, and know
not only what advantages naturally accrue from every Game, but know how
to make them when occasion shall require._
_Since my coming hither I have very illy managed my successes; for I
have won too many times without the interposition of one single loss of
my own, which hath raised in my Gamesters a suspition of me not to be
taken off; by which means I have lost all future hopes of bubbling them
any more; But since, Sir, you stand fair in their good opinion, if you
please to let me share with you, I shall inform you not only with my
Art, but also furnish you with Tools which shall effect our design and
increase our store. But before I shall encourage you to learn that which
I now propound for your profit, give me leave to acquaint you with the
inconveniencies, dangers, and perplexities which attend Gaming, lest
hereafter you condemn me for your rash learning that which you would
have trampled under your feet, had you known the many dangerous
concomitants which continually wait thereon._
_To speak generally, Gaming is an enchanting Witchery begot betwixt a
couple of Devils, Idleness and Avarice: it so infatuates man, that it
renders him incapable of prosecuting his more serious affairs, and makes
him to quarrel with his condition though ever so good: if he wins, the
success so elevates him, that his mad joys carry him to the height of
all excesses; if he loses, his misfortune plunges him to the bottom of
Despair. Oh how I have seen a man cast up his eyes, as if he intended to
call Heaven to account for its injustice, in not giving him that Cast he
so much desires. Nay, I heard one of no small note in an ordinary
publickly invoke the Devil, (upon his throwing at all, that is, all the
men lies on the Table) that he would turn up Five, which was his Chance,
and he should have his Soul for the next throw, an expression enough to
make the hair of the vilest reprobate to stand on end._
_It was said of one, that_ nec bonam, nec malam fortunam ferre potest,
_that both in good and bad fortune he was ever restles._ Marcellus
_could neither be quiet as Conquerour, nor overcome. Thus such is the
damn’d itch of Play, Gamesters are never satisfyed winning or loosing,
if they win, they hope to increase their store, if they loose their
Money they hope to recover it again._
_The question was wittily propounded by one, whether Men in a Ship at
Sea were to be accounted_ inter mortuos, vel vivos, _among the living,
or the dead, because there were but few Inches between them and
drowning. The_ Quære _is not improper to be made of great Gamesters,
though their Estates be never so considerable, whether they are to be
esteemed_ Divites vel Pauperis, _poor or rich, since there are but a few
Casts at Dice betwixt a person of Fortune, (in that circumstance) and a
Begger._
* * * * *
_Now if you intend to be a Gamster, what ever your success be, you must
bear it_ æquo animo, _neither raised or depressed; but I will assure you
that it is a difficult matter so to do, for this course of life will try
your patience. Would it not mad you to have so strange a fortune, as
with a very small Sum to run up to Eighteen hundred pounds, and loose it
again with his small stock in less than three days? I knew one with
Fifty Shillings, win Five hundred pounds of his own at one time in his
life, and thereupon putting himself into a Garb not mis-becoming an
Earl, played again, the Dice ran against him, lost every penny he had,
or could borrow; hereupon he grew stark mad, and hang’d himself in his
own Bed-cord. There are as many examples of this nature as would stuff a
Quire of Paper, and as many as would fill a Ream of such who having had
fair Estates, in few years have lost them at Play, and dyed in want and
Penury. I have heard it credibly reported, that a Gentleman belonging to
the_ Six Clerks Office, _who was only well cliented, but had a good
Estate of his own, and by him always a considerable sum of Money; this
Gentleman was invited to play by some young Gallants that had a great
desire to be fingring his_ Jacobus’s _with whom he engaged, and by
extraordinary fortune won two thousand pieces of Gold, was not content
with that round sum, but plaid on, lost all, with his own Estate, sold
his place in the Office; and lost that too; at last, through excessive
grief, he transported himself to a Forreign Plantation, where, if his
discontent dispatch him not, he must be forced to Hoe for a livelihood.
This commonly is the destiny of a decayed Gamester, if not this, he is
seldom preferr’d higher than to the dignity of a Box keeper._
_Lastly, before you take the Dice in your hand, think of drawing your
Sword before you leave off Playing; for should you play upon the Square,
you will be suspected by those that loose, you have knapt, or put the
change of the Dice upon them; then right or wrong they will quarrel with
you, more for the vexation of the loss, than for any just cause they had
for so doing: If you do not fall together by the ears then in the very
heat, you will have affronts enough to engage you in the Field next
morning, upon some trifling insignificant occasion, deem’d as a_
punctilio _of Honour, or else timely put up those abuses which will
occasion you to be scorn’d and slighted, and at last pist on as you walk
the streets by every Party Coat coloured Skip-kennel._