_He buyes a Horse in_ Smithfield, _he is basely cheated in the goodness
by the Horse-Courser, the manner how; he discants on his own ill
Horsemanship as he is a Sea-man. He rides to_ Maiden-head, _his
Landlady loseth a Diamond Ring, he invents an incomparable exploit to
restore it her again._
My Master being an eminent Sea-man, and faithful to his trust, had no
sooner cleared his Ship, but had immediately another Voyage offered him
to _Virginia_, returning home in safety, the next he made was to the
_Streights_; I was there with him several times at _Legorn_, twice in
the _West Indies_, and twice at the _Canaries_; by this time my
Apprentiship was expired, which I went through with so much satisfaction
to my Master, notwithstanding a thousand Rogueries I committed in that
time, that in our next Voyage which was to _Guinny_, I was advanced to
the dignity of a _Cockswain_. Whereupon the long boat was committed to
my Charge, and when any occasion served, I had my Crew always ready for
the skiff; I understood my place quickly, and behaved my self in it,
that our _Boat Swain_ dying, I was constituted in his place; now was my
care increased, for I had charge of all the Rigging, Masts, and Sails,
with many other matters of consequence. I have heard my Master say
twenty times, that he had rather hear me when we were weighing Anchor
(our Men being at the Capston) cry _heave clearly my boys_, than a noise
of Musick, for I had a strong yet pleasant voice, and I tun’d it to some
purpose when the Anchor was almost a peek. In this imployment I made two
Voyages to _Guinny_, the last thereof was so succesful that I was
resolved upon my return to take the pleasures of the Land, and no places
would serve my turn, but those wherein I had received so much disgrace
and punishment.
In _Smithfield, London_, I bought an Horse, he did so caper with the
Fellow that rid him, that I feared this pamper’d beast would be to
skittish, for a Sailer, that never bestrid any living Creature; the
Horse cost me six Pound and a Crown, I could not get the punctuality of
his Rogueship to bate me the odd Mony, though in three days time forty
shillings proved the utmost value of this great bargain. It was a very
fair day when I set forward in my journey towards _Bristol_, and because
the Streets were then dry, and no symptoms in the Heaven of any
approaching Rain, I vainly thought there would be no occasion for Boots
those intollerable cloggs of a nimble footed Sea-man. I mounted not
without some dread and fear that this prancing Palfry would run away
with his Master, but contrary to all expectation, I found the creature
calm enough, being ready to lie down as I was getting up; much ado I had
to get him to go till I had almost buryed my Heel-spur in his belly, and
then he made a shift to trot; but Founder-foot on a suddain running a
head, I was like to have been overset. The talness of my Horse did shew
what an Ass I was to be so cheated; I might have known that within less
than an hour after I had bought him, for in stead of Excrements, he
evacuated an Eel at his posteriors, which I believe was conveyed into
him alive by the subtle Horse courser, to make him for the present more
lively and sprightful. With much difficulty I got him to _Maiden-head_
that day; the next proving raining, my business did not require such
haste, but that I might stay a day or two for fair weather.
I had Money enough, the sight whereof did strangely quicken the
attendance of the Servants of the House, and my liberal expence
commanded both my Land-lord and Land-ladies company; and that I might
continue their society, I was incessant in the calling for Wine. My
Land-lady was pre-ingaged in the company of several Gallants, so that I
was like to have little of it, had it not been for an accident that
befell her, which brought her into my Room where my Land-lord was. It
seems one of the Gentlemen espyed a Ring on her Finger with a very fair
Rose of Diamonds in it, and desiring her to let him see it for the
excellency thereof; she condescended, continuing her conceited
discourse, which she raised on purpose, to shew what an esteem she had
for her imaginary wit, and fancy; this Gentleman delivered the Ring to
another, he to a third, that man conveyed it to a fourth that were
troubled with the same curiosity; but at the last it came into the hands
of one that was very loath it should go any further, since it had almost
past round; She being this while so busie in her tittle tattle, that she
neither minded how it was canvast about, or in the least mist it off her
Finger: She left the room several times, and returned; but in fine she
found the loss of her Ring, not knowing whether it was restored to her
by that person she lent a sight thereof, and had dropt it, or if not
restored, she was ignorant of the Man, and therefore durst not tax any
one particularly. I have known many a thing, as a Silver Tobacco box,
_&c._ left carelesly upon a Table which hath been taken up in jest, but
kept in earnest.
* * * * *
She was so puzzled she knew not what to do; and not knowing how to
remedy her self, she was resolved to play the perfect Woman, _sit down
and cry_; which she did in that pitiful manner, that I admired how any
mans heart could be so hard, not to exchange a few inconsiderable
Diamonds for so many inestimable Pearls that dropt from her eyes. Every
one stiffly denyed the unworthiness of the detention, and seemed
somewhat displeased that their glowing gallantry should be suspected of
an act so ungentile and unhandsom. Seeing there was no help, and she
could not conceal the loss from her Husband, she came where we were,
that we might in her sad relation commiserate and condole her great
affliction.
I gave much heed to every circumstance of her doleful story, and minded
it so well, that I fancy’d I had a project in my head which would give
her assistance. _Come Madam,_ said I, _there is a Plot which I have just
now contrived, which if it take effect, you shall give me a Bottle of
Canary, if not, it will be no harm for you to make a tryal._
She was very glad to hear of any proposition that might carry in it the
hopes of getting her Ring again, and therefore freely promised me any
thing. _Why then_ said I, _Go into your former company, but first dry
your eyes, and express all seeming joy imaginable, and tell those that
are inquisitive as to the cause of this suddain alteration, that you
have found your Ring again, and then mark diligently that man who
cunningly conveys his hand into his own Pocket my life for you that man
hath the Ring._ Following my advice, she re-entred her former Room, and
counterfeiting an excessive joy; _O Gentlemen your pardon,_ said she, _I
have found my Ring!_ Observing the company heedfully, she perceiv’d one
stole down his hand into his Pocket, to feel whether the Ring was there,
imagining, upon the hearing what she said, his Pocket had been pickt.
_Where is the Ring I pray Madam_, said one, and where did you find it?
_Here Sirs,_ said she, _have I found it, for this Gentleman hath now the
Ring in his hand_, which she forceably drew out of his Pocket, and so
the Ring appear’d to his great shame and discredit. Her gratitude for my
succesful council did that night so Sack the Garrison of my
understanding, that all my Senses _pro tempore_ suffer’d in their
general devastation.