_He is made a Cabbin-Boy, and shews what is the duty thereof; A pleasant
drunken encounter between Himself, little Miss, and two other supposed
Rivals; his Crime, and Punishment. He returns for_ England, _and
coming to_ Graves end, _he discovers a notable trick of a Justice in
discovering one that usually stole his Wood; Also, an incomparable
Adventure of a young Woman, and himself in one Hammock together._
Never had _villanous Exiles_ such a fair Passage as we had, and to speak
the truth, though nothing could have daunted me, yet the calmness of the
Sea, and the clearness of the weather, did very much encourage me to be
a Sea-man. My Master was a very facetious merry man, and one of no mean
understanding, who seeing the freeness of my jocular humour, did not
hinder the care of his business, he acknowledged to have a benefit in
me, which few others received from their Servants, not only injoying my
labour and pains taking, but receiving a divertisement in the execution
thereof. I waited on my Master diligently, swabb’d his Cabbin daily,
made his Bed, cleansed the House of Office often, and who so ready as I
to fetch the Victuals abaft, and above all things minded my Masters
ringing the Bell, as it was my duty, so it was my discretion and
prudence; for had I at any time been playing the Rogue out of hearing
the Bell, if it rang in that interval, I was assuredly drubb’d; for
faults of a higher nature, I was laid over a Gun and lasht, or tyed by
the Thumbs, and whipt with a Cat of Nine Tails.
My lodging was in the Steerage near the Bulkhead, that I might be ready
and within hearing: And though I was so very a Rogue ashore, yet I was a
man of credit aboard, for my Master trusted me with all the choice
comforts which concerned his Life, committing to my charge his Wines,
both _Spanish_ and _French_, with Brandy, and several cordial Waters,
Sugar, all sorts of Spices; Tobacco, and what not, expedient for long
Voyage. Such regard he had of me, that he taught me to Write, and
Cypher, which for so short a time I understood so well, as I became the
wonder of every one in the Ship; seeing me so forward, he did put me on
the copying of his Journals, taught me how to take off the Log, to take
the height of the Sun at twelve a Clock, by which we know what Latitude
we are in; the knowledge of these things I gained not under three or
four Voyages, but in this first expedition I could run up to the
Maintop, and furl a Sail, though in a stress of Weather.
I minded so much my business, that I seldom visited any of the
Passengers I formerly described, and had almost forgot my little _Miss_,
but perceiving my Masters former kindness to them, was converted into
harsh and rough usage, tumbling them like Dogs into the Hold, when
sometimes they offered to come upon the Decks to Air themselves, I could
not but pity them; and to Buoy up their Spirits, I would frequently give
them a Dram, to be sure my _Miss_ had a treble portion, and would often
steal her fresh meat, than which I know not what is more valuable in a
long run at Sea.
I acted not my business so closely, but that my Master discovered the
goodness of my nature to my fellow-travellers; however finding no
considerable loss and decay of his Liquors, only threatned me for that
time what wonderful punishment he would inflict upon me, if ever he
catcht me in the like again: I thinking he had but jested, and trusting
to my wit for the secret management of the project, and the excuse
thereof when it was effected by the instigation of two lusty young
fellows, I was induced to steal from my Master a Bottle of Sack, and
getting into a close corner with my forementioned Doxy, whom I had
singled out, and these two Fellows, we made a shift to drink it off;
they prompted me to fetch another, but I would not yield, till I had
first gone aloft, to see whether the Coast was clear; finding my Master
asleep in the great Cabbin, I got out a Bottle of French-Wine, which we
dispatcht as we had done the other; not satisfied with this, they
perswaded me by all means to fetch another, and with that they would be
contented; I would not condescend in any case, till the witch my Wench
(that by this time was got above half drunk) intreated me with _prithee
do, what will you deny me?_ and then I could hold out no longer; but
being by the Liquor in a fit mood to do any Roguery, I promised them to
return with some more with all expedition; now I began to consider that
what we had drank already, was not so strong as Brandy, and therefore
lookt on that Liquor most convenient for our drunken purpose; I opened a
_Guard de-vines_, and taking out almost a Quart Bottle, I made what
haste I could to my seasoned Drunkards, who were eagerly gazing for me;
but finding them too petulantly familiar with my _Mistress_, I had once
a mind to have staved the Bottle, but that I should lose my share of the
Brandy, but dissembling well my passion, I drank on with them; but I by
reason of the tenderness of my Age, and my Female friend being not
accustomed to drinking, were not able to hold out with them: the fumes
ascending into my head, I thought my self as good as any man, (judge you
whether I was not a proper one at fourteen years of Age?) and would not
take an affront from any, and so charging them with the abuse they had
done me in being too sawcy with my concerns, I made no more ado, but
fell foul with them both, my little _Virago_ seeing me engaged, was
resolv’d not to be idle, but with the Glass Bottle lays one of them over
the Cox-comb, which breaking, cutt his pate, the sight of his blood made
him more afraid than hurt, and fearing lest he should bleed himself to
death, acquits our Company, and ran with all speed to the Chirurgion, in
the mean time we made our party good with the other, and so pounded him,
that he was glad to shoot the Pit, and leave us sole Conquerors of the
Field, having now no other enemy in sight to contend with us, I took my
stout Amazon by the hand, and led her up aloft in triumph, the Sea-men
were ready to die with laughter to see how we had mall’d those two
Boobies; but their laughter increast to that excess, that it wakened my
Master to see me and my Damsel strutt and reel to and fro the Decks,
bidding defiance to them all, daring the best of them to touch her upon
their perils; as I was thus Lording it, my Master made his appearance,
who was so surprized he knew not what to say, neither was it to any
purpose, for my Damsel was as merry as a Hawk, who nothing but sang
whilst I _Don-Drunken Furioso_ was storming like a _Raging Turk_.
My Master perceiving that nothing would appease my wrath, nor silence
the harmonious Tongue of my tippled Madam, commanded us both to be clapt
in the _Bilboes_, and there to continue till we were a little more
sober. We soon talkt ourselves asleep, and sleept as soundly as if we
had lain on a Feather-bed, awakening, we wondred to see our selves in
that condition, and could not imagine how we came there, but by some
inchantment; but our admiration and amazement were soon converted into
something of another nature, by my Masters sending for us; coming before
him, there did I see my two Antagonists, the sight whereof immediately
informed my memory with the precedent days proceedings; my face did
presently discover my guilt.
_Heu quam difficile est crimen non prodere vultu?_
Alas how hard it is for any face
To hide a crime, if it hath any Grace?
And had not our countenances betrayed us, there were too many apparent
evidences for our conviction. Now did I see my _quondam_ loving friend
lay aside the pleasantness of his former looks, and assume the severe
gravity of a Judges aspect, and having dismist my fighting Madam,
sentenced me and my two combatants to be that instant conveyed to the
Capston, which was done accordingly, and there were we seized, inclosed
within a Hoop, and a Cat of nine tails delivered into each our hands;
and this being done, said our Master, _Let me see how you will fight
now? if you do not lash one another soundly, I will have those that
shall_; so commanding the Capston Bar to be turned round, to work we
went; I laid it on gently at first on him that was before me, but
finding the smart of the blows increase, and the lashes multiply in
strength as well as quantity, by him that was behind me, I spared my
fore-man not a jot, but as fast and as smartly as I could, I jerkt him
about; this caused him to redouble his blows on the other, he again on
me, and so we went round in that unmerciful manner, that our Master out
of meer pity was forc’d to release us.
* * * * *
The severity of this punishment (for none could have had the heart to
have whipt us as we whipt our selves,) cured me of my Drunken fits for
that whole Voyage, and so reduced me to order and civility, that I was
once more received into his favour. And now I grew so cautious in the
disposal of those Liquors of Life, that none participated with me in
their enjoyments, but my Master and his friends, who was a severe check
over me in what he had committed to my charge. Immediately after our
arrival at _Barbadoes_, having complemented the Island with the usual
ceremony of firing some Guns, a swarm of Boats from thence settled about
our Ship, the Planters therein boarded us on every side, as if they
intended to have made lawful Prize of us. Our Commodities between Decks
were forthwith rubbig’d, (rummig’d I mean) and exposed to the view of
the Buyer; they need not question the goodness of the Ware, since it
hath been sufficiently tryed, and could not want a _probatum_ on the
report of hundreds. Nothing troubled me more than to see my young Female
Comrade truckt for Tobacco, the exchange of equal levity, and as the one
is fit only to be burnt, so in time may the other, though so green one
would imagine nor capable of entertaining a flame. They were all
disposed off in a very short time, and those that despaired of ever
having Husbands in _England_, had them here ready made to their hands,
and they with others found in this remote place a conveniency for
raising a new credit and reputation, which they had irrecoverably lost
elsewhere.
* * * * *
All the time that we lay here at Anchor I was not permitted to go
ashore, a thing that griev’d me to the heart, especially having not the
benefit of others, who had the freedom of going ashore and refresh
themselves with fresh Provisions. Our Sea-men that were on Ship-board
would have the same conveniences as if they were where properly they
might be had, but were so inhumane to me, that I must eat what the Ship
afforded, or fast; this they did, that I might adventure another
whipping by stealing my Masters Liquors, knowing how strongly I longed
to taste of fresh meat: not a bit went down my throat but what I
purchased with the hazard aforesaid; but my Masters carowsing at the
_Indian Bridge_, made him forget what was exhausted out of his Cabbin,
and so I came off undiscovered.
* * * * *
Having taken in our Loading proper for our Transportation, as to
Tobacco, Indigo, Cotton, and Sugar, (which last sweetned all the bitter
Pills of affliction which I had swallowed) we set Sail for _England_,
and with a prosperous Gale, and good weather, we safely arrived in the
_Downs_, where lying a small time, we came away to _Graves-End_, and
there we staid two Tides. My Master going ashore, I begg’d him that he
would let me go with him, having not set foot on Land in so long time;
the consideration thereof perswaded him to grant my request; and taking
an opportunity to slip from my Master, I chanc’d to happen into an
House, where at that little time of my staying happen’d a remarkable
passage. There was a Justice of the Peace that lived not far from this
House, who had a Wood-yard adjoyning hereunto: the near adjacency of
this Fewel tempted my Landlord to purloin from thence, that he might
save some expence in firing; but he did it so often, that he caused the
Justice to suspect he was grosly abused by some or other thereabout; and
that he might find out the offender, he ordered his Servants to bore
large holes in some of the Loggs, and fill them with Gun-powder,
plugging up the same holes very close again; which was performed
according to instruction, and the design took its desired effect; for
our Landlord according to his wonted custom, came into the Yard, and
happened to take those very Loggs, and carried them home to use them as
he had done the rest; his Pot was over the Fire, and a Spit before it,
in order to a Supper bespoke by some strangers. I was smoaking by the
fire side, (that you may know I was not ill bred,) and had a Pot of Ale
in my hand sitting very near the Fire, my Landlord eagerly bid me remove
farther off that he might have room to supply his decaying Fire, (it was
well for me;) having laid on those Loggs, in a little time after came an
old Woman (whose ancient and deformed withered face had made her a long
time suspected for a Witch,) who begged heartily for an Alms, but such
was the cruel hard heartedness of our Landlord, that he not only denyed
her, but rudely thrust her from the door, the poor helpless Woman durst
not openly exclaim, but as she was muttering to her self her great
discontent, the Fire got to the Powder inclosed in the Wood aforesaid,
and being so straitly and throughly confin’d, burst the Logs like a
_Granado_, tearing the Meat off the Spit, blowing the Pot off the Hooks,
and brake some small matter of the Brickwork of the Chimney. My loss
consisted in the dropping of my Pot of Ale with the suddain
astonishment; but my Landlord lookt like a fellow distracted out of his
wits; recollecting himself, and seeing what dammage was done him,
concluded this begger-woman was the cause of all this mischief,
believing her now to be what she had been a long time suspected for a
Witch, and therefore leaves his House confusedly, (which gave me an
opportunity to trip off and leave my reckoning unpaid,) and getting a
Constable, seiz’d this ignorant piece of antiquity, carrying her before
the Justice that had lost his Wood from time to time; My Landlord
hereupon largely acquainted his Worship the sad hap that had befallen
him and the grounds of his suspecting this Woman; which when the Justice
had heard to the full, he then understood who was the Wood-stealer, and
so acquitting the old Woman, but committed my Landlord, who must now pay
for his Children sitting by other Peoples Fires.
* * * * *
I had not so much Money but that I was very glad to save my small
reckoning; returning to my Master, he was very jolly, resolving to lie
ashore that night in _Graves-end_, and commanded me to attend him; not a
drop of Wine would go down with him I observed without his Land-lady,
which was a very lovely Woman, had she not been a little too fat: her
Husband was the absolute picture of a Cuckold; it is strange that a man
should read that name so legibly in any ones face.
Night coming on, my Master seem’d to be more drunk than he was, that he
might the better excuse his so soon going to bed, desiring to take his
repose, after I had pulled off his Shooes and Stockins, and he had all
undrest himself, being between the Sheets, I tuckt in the Bedcloathes
about him, and in so doing took an occasion to meet with his Breeches,
and diving into the Pockets I conveyed away two half Crowns, and so
shutting the Chamber door, I left him.
Going into the Kitchin, I called for Wine, some upon my Masters account,
the rest upon my own charge; It was my good fortune to be alone with the
Maid, all the rest of the Family (being late) were gone to bed.
The Maid (like the rest of the worst of House-wives, who work in the
night and play in the day,) was making at that time a Smock for her
self, and as I guess sate up somewhat the later, because she would
completely finish it; I had made my self familiar with her, and taking
this advantage to raise some petulant discourse; _Is this your Smock?_
said I, _Yes,_ she replyed, _then sure,_ said I, _you are very lavish of
your Cloth to make it so wide; I will lay you five shillings, and you
shall hold stakes, that it will contain us both, and to spare: How,_
said she, _I will lay you that wager if I never engage in another_; but
the difficulty lay in this, that she saw there was a necessity that she
must uncase as well as my self, and therefore seemed very unwilling so
to do; But that she must lose the Crown if she did not, so she
consented: having the Smock on, I crept into it, and absolutely cased my
Arms in the same sleeves; hers were in before, my head peeping out at
the bosom; but endeavouring to dis-ingage by the same means we had
intangled our selves, we found it impossible, our Arms being extended
like the wings of a _Spread Eagle_, nor could we contract or draw them
to our bodies, in this plight we were in a good while, not knowing what
to resolve on. At length with one joint consent we raised our Arms to
the Tenter-hooks of the Shelf, (for though I was young, I was tall, and
so was she,) and hanging the Sleeve thereon, we pull’d, thinking to draw
it off that way; but striving with what strength we had left, we pull’d
the shelf down, and all the Pewter ratling about our ears: This noise
awakened the man of the House, and thinking to jog his Wife, found no
such thing beside him; this startled him more; however he was resolved
to see what it was, and therefore struck a light; but recalling himself
as he was descending the stairs, he returned, thinking it would be safer
(if Theeves were below,) to take my Master with him, and therefore goes
to his Chamber door, which he found open, and entring the room, found
his wife in bed with him fast asleep; whilst he was about to waken them,
we below were struggling to get loose, and stumbling upon the shelf
fallen, we fell over it upon the Dishes, which made as great a noise as
the former; this hastned him to wake them, reproving his Wife for her
carelesness more than looseness, and telling them there were Thieves in
the House; my Master got up and went down with his Landlord to see what
the matter was in the Kitchen: They had no sooner entred the door but
they were strangely amazed to see one Body with two Heads; approaching
nearer, my Master knew one Head to be his mans, and the other to be his
Landlords Maids: with much difficulty they they took this Flesh Pudding
out of the Bagg; it being midnight we were not examined then, but
deferred till the next morning: in the mean time they consulted
together; and it was agreed upon between the Landlord and his Wife, that
conditionally my Master would forgive me, they would their Maid, and
never foolishly proclaim their shame to the world which now lay in their
powers to conceal. This adventure staid us longer ashore than we
intended, but at length getting aboard, we sailed up to _Eriff_, where
we Anchored two or three days for some private business our Master had,
_&c._ and from thence we went directly up the River, and came to an
Anchor over against _Shadwell-Dock_.
[Illustration]