loyalists in the present sense of the word, have their thoughts, and
studies, and tongues so entirely diverted by political schemes, that
the zeal of their principles hath eaten up their understandings; neither
have they time from their employments, their hopes, and their hourly
labours for acquiring new additions of merit, to amuse themselves with
philological converse, or speculations which are utterly ruinous to all
schemes of rising in the world: What must then a great man do whose ill
stars have fatally perverted him to a love, and taste, and possession of
literature, politeness, and good sense? Our thorough-sped republic of
Whigs, which contains the bulk of all hopers, pretenders, expecters and
professors, are, beyond all doubt, most highly useful to princes, to
governors, to great ministers, and to their country, but at the same
time, and by necessary consequence, the most disagreeable companions to
all who have that unfortunate turn of mind peculiar to his Excellency,
and perhaps to five or six more in a nation.
I do not deny it possible, that an original or proselyte favourer of the
times, might have been born to those useless talents which in former
ages qualified a man to be a poet, or a philosopher. All I contend for
is, that where the true genius of party once enters, it sweeps the house
clean, and leaves room for many other spirits to take joint possession,
till the last state of that man is exceedingly better than the first.
I allow it a great error in his Excellency that he adheres so
obstinately to his old unfashionable academic education: Yet so perverse
is human nature, that the usual remedies for this evil in others, have
produced a contrary effect in him; to a degree, that I am credibly
informed, he will, as I have already hinted, in the middle of a session
quote passages out of Plato, and Pindar at his own table to some
book-learned companion, without blushing, even when persons of great
stations are by.
I will venture one step further; which is, freely to confess, that this
mistaken method of educating youth in the knowledge of ancient learning
and language, is too apt to spoil their politics and principles; because
the doctrine and examples of the books they read, teach them lessons
directly contrary in every point to the present practice of the world:
And accordingly, Hobbes most judiciously observes, that the writings of
the Greeks and Romans made young men imbibe opinions against absolute
power in a prince, or even in a first minister, and to embrace notions
of liberty and property.
It hath been therefore a great felicity to these kingdoms, that the
heirs to titles and large estates, have a weakness in their eyes, a
tenderness in their constitutions, are not able to bear the pain and
indignity of whipping; and as the mother rightly expresses it, could
never take to their book; yet are well enough qualified to sign a
receipt for half a year's rent, to put their names (_rightly spelt_) to
a warrant, and to read pamphlets against religion and high-flying;
whereby they fill their niches, and carry themselves through the world
with that dignity which best becomes a senator, and a squire.[156]
I could heartily wish his Excellency would be more condescending to the
genius of the kingdom he governs, to the condition of the times, and to
the nature of the station he fills. Yet if it be true, what I have read
in old English story-books, that one Agesilaus (no matter to the bulk of
my readers, whether I spell the names right or wrong) was caught by the
parson of the parish, riding on a hobby-horse with his children; that
Socrates a heathen philosopher, was found dancing by himself at
fourscore; that a king called Cæsar Augustus (or some such name) used to
play with boys; whereof some might possibly be sons of Tories; and, that
two great men called Scipio and Lælius, (I forget their Christian names,
and whether they were poets or generals,) often played at duck and drake
with smooth stones on a river. Now I say, if these facts be true (and
the book where I found them is in print) I cannot imagine why our most
zealous patriots may not a little indulge his Excellency, in an
infirmity which is not morally evil, provided he gives no public scandal
(which is by all means to be avoided) I say, why he may not be indulged
twice a week to converse with one or two particular persons, and let him
and them con over their old exploded readings together, after mornings
spent in hearing and prescribing ways and means from and to his most
obedient politicians, for the welfare of the kingdom; although the said
particular person or persons may not have made so public a declaration
of their political faith in all its parts, as the business of the nation
requires. Still submitting my opinion to that happy majority, which I am
confident is always in the right; by whom the liberty of the subject
hath been so frequently, so strenuously, and so successfully asserted;
who by their wise counsels have made commerce to flourish, money to
abound, inhabitants to increase, the value of lands and rents to rise;
and the whole island put on a new face of plenty and prosperity.
But in order to clear his Excellency, more fully from this accusation of
shewing his favours to high-flyers, Tories, and Jacobites; it will be
necessary to come to particulars.
The first person of a Tory denomination to whom his Excellency gave any
marks of his favour, was Doctor Thomas Sheridan.[157] It is to be
observed, that this happened so early in his Excellency's government, as
it may be justly supposed he had not been informed of that gentleman's
character upon so dangerous an article. The Doctor being well known and
distinguished, for his skill and success in the education of youth,
beyond most of his profession for many years past, was recommended to
his Excellency on the score of his learning, and particularly for his
knowledge in the Greek tongue, whereof it seems his Excellency is a
great admirer, although for what reasons I could never imagine. However
it is agreed on all hands, that his lordship was too easily prevailed on
by the Doctor's request, or indeed rather from the bias of his own
nature, to hear a tragedy acted in that unknown language by the Doctor's
lads,[158] which was written by some heathen author, but whether it
contained any Tory or High-Church principles, must be left to the
consciences of the boys, the Doctor, and his Excellency: The only
witnesses in this case, whose testimonies can be depended upon.
It seems, his Excellency (a thing never to be sufficiently wondered at)
was so pleased with his entertainment, that some time after he gave the
Doctor a church living to the value of almost one hundred pounds a year,
and made him one of his chaplains, from an antiquated notion, that good
schoolmasters ought to be encouraged in every nation, professing
civility and religion. Yet his Excellency did not venture to make this
bold step without strong recommendations from persons of undoubted
principles, fitted to the times; who thought themselves bound in
justice, honour, and gratitude, to do the Doctor a good office in return
for the care he had taken of their children, or those of their
friends.[159] Yet the catastrophe was terrible: For, the Doctor in the
height of his felicity and gratitude, going down to take possession of
his parish, and furnished with a few led-sermons, whereof as it is to be
supposed the number was very small, having never served a cure in the
Church; he stopped at Cork to attend on his bishop; and going to church
on the Sunday following, was according to the usual civility of country
clergymen, invited by the minister of the parish to supply the pulpit.
It happened to be the first of August[160]; and the first of August
happened that year to light upon a Sunday: And it happened that the
Doctor's text was in these words; "Sufficient unto the day is the evil
thereof;" and lastly it happened, that some one person of the
congregation, whose loyalty made him watchful upon every appearance of
danger to his Majesty's person and Government, when service was over,
gave the alarm. Notice was immediately sent up to town, and by the zeal
of one man[161] of no large dimensions of body or mind, such a clamour
was raised, that we in Dublin could apprehend no less than an invasion
by the Pretender, who must be landed in the South. The result was, that
the Doctor must be struck out of the chaplains' list, and appear no more
at the Castle; yet, whether he were then, or be at this day, a Whig or a
Tory, I think is a secret; only it is manifest, that he is a zealous
Hanoverian, at least in poetry,[162] and a great adorer of the present
Royal Family through all its branches. His friends likewise assert, that
he had preached this same sermon often, under the same text; that not
having observed the words till he was in the pulpit, and had opened his
notes; as he is a person a little abstracted, he wanted presence of mind
to change them: And that in the whole sermon there was not a syllable
relating to Government or party, or to the subject of the day.
In this incident there seems to have been an union of events, that will
probably never happen again to the end of the world, or at least like
the grand conjunction in the heavens, which I think they say can arrive
but once in twenty thousand years.
The second gentleman (if I am right in my chronology) who under the
suspicion of a Tory, received some favour from his Excellency, is Mr.
James Stopford[163]; very strongly recommended by the most eminent Whig
in England, on the account of his learning, and virtue, and other
accomplishments. He had passed the greatest part of his youth in close
study, or in travelling; and was neither not at home, or not at leisure
to trouble his thoughts about party; which I allow to be a great
omission; though I cannot honestly place him in the list of Tories, and
therefore think his Excellency may be fairly acquitted for making him
Vicar of Finglass, worth about one hundred and fifty pounds a year.
The third is Doctor Patrick Delany.[164] This divine lies under some
disadvantage; having in his youth received many civilities from a
certain person then in a very high station here,[165] for which reason I
doubt the Doctor never drank his confusion since: And what makes the
matter desperate, it is now too late; unless our inquisitors will be
content with drinking confusion to his memory. The aforesaid eminent
person who was a judge of all merit but party, distinguished the Doctor
among other juniors in our University, for his learning, virtue,
discretion, and good sense. But the Doctor was then in too good a
situation at his college, to hope or endeavour at a better
establishment, from one who had no power to give it him.
Upon the present Lord-Lieutenant's coming over, the Doctor was named to
his Excellency by a friend,[166] among other clergy of distinction, as
persons whose characters it was proper his Excellency should know: And
by the truth of which the giver would be content to stand or fall in his
Excellency's opinion; since not one of those persons were in particular
friendship with the gentleman who gave in their names. By this and some
other incidents, particularly the recommendation of the late Archbishop
of Dublin,[167] the Doctor became known to his Excellency; whose fatal
turn of mind toward heathenish and outlandish books and languages,
finding, as I conceive a like disposition in the Doctor, was the cause
of his becoming so domestic, as we are told he is, at the Castle of
Dublin.
Three or four years ago, the Doctor grown weary of an academic life,
for some reasons best known to the managers of the discipline in that
learned society (which it may not be for their honour to mention[168])
resolved to leave it, although by the benefit of the pupils, and his
senior-fellowship with all its perquisites, he received every year
between nine hundred and a thousand pounds.
And a small northern living, in the University's donation, of somewhat
better than hundred pounds a year, falling at the same time with the
Chancellorship of Christ-Church, to about equal the value, in the gift
of his Excellency, the Doctor ventured into the world in a very scanty
condition, having squandered away all his annual income in a manner,
which although perhaps proper enough for a clergyman without a family,
will not be for the advantage of his character to discover either on the
exchange, or at a banker's shop.
About two months ago, his Excellency gave the Doctor a prebend in St.
Patrick's Cathedral; which being of near the same value with either of
the two former, will add a third part to his revenues, after he shall
have paid the great incumbrances upon it; so that he may now be said to
possess of Church preferments in scattered tithes, three hundred pounds
a year, instead of the like sum of infallible rents from a senior
fellowship with the offices annexed; beside the advantage of a free
lodging, and some other easements.
But since the Doctor hath not in any of his writings, his sermons, his
actions, his discourse, or his company, discovered one single principle
of either Whig or Tory; and that the Lord Lieutenant still continues to
admit him; I shall boldly pronounce him _ONE OF US_: but like a new
free-mason, who hath not yet learned all the dialect of the mystery.
Neither can he justly be accused of any Tory doctrines, except perhaps
some among those few, with which that wicked party was charged, during
the height of their power; but have been since transferred for the most
solid reasons, to the whole body of our firmest friends.
I have now done with the clergy; And upon the strictest examination have
not been able to find above one of that order, against whom any party
suspicion can lie, which is the unfortunate gentleman, Doctor Sheridan,
who by mere chance-medley shot his own fortune dead with a single text.
As to the laity I can hear of but one person of the Tory stamp, who
since the beginning of his Excellency's government, did ever receive any
solid mark of his favour; I mean Sir Arthur Acheson,[169] reported to be
an acknowledged Tory, and what is almost as bad, a scholar into the
bargain. It is whispered about as a certain truth, that this gentleman
is to have a grant of a certain barrack upon his estate, within two
miles of his own house; for which the Crown is to be his tenant, at the
rent of sixty pounds _per annum_; he being only at the expense of about
five hundred pounds, to put the house in repair, build stables, and
other necessaries. I will place this invidious mark of beneficence,
conferred on a Tory, in a fair light, by computing the costs and
necessary defalcations; after which it may be seen how much Sir Arthur
will be annually a clear gainer by the public, notwithstanding his
unfortunate principles, and his knowledge in Greek and Latin.
For repairs, &c. _500l._ the interest whereof _per ann._ 30 0 0
For all manner of poultry to furnish the troopers,
but which the said troopers must be at the
labour of catching, valued _per ann._ 5 0 0
For straggling sheep, 8 0 0
For game destroyed five miles round, 6 0 0
--------
49 0 0
Rent paid to Sir Arthur, 60 0 0
Deduct 49 0 0
------
Remains clear, 11 0 0
------
Thus, if Sir Arthur Acheson shall have the good fortune to obtain a
grant of this barrack, he will receive net profit annually from the
Crown ELEVEN pounds sterling to help him in entertaining the officers,
and making provisions for his younger children.
It is true, there is another advantage to be expected, which may fully
compensate the loss of cattle and poultry; by multiplying the breed of
mankind, and particularly of good Protestants, in a part of the Kingdom
half depopulated by the wild humour among the farmers there, of leaving
their country. But I am not so skilful in arithmetic, as to compute the
value.
I have reckoned one _per cent._ below the legal interest for the money
that Sir Arthur must expend, and valued the damage in the other articles
very moderately. However, I am confident he may with good management be
a saver at least; which is a prodigious instance of moderation in our
friends toward a professed Tory, whatever merit he may pretend by the
unwillingness he hath shewn to make his Excellency uneasy in his
administration.
Thus I have with the utmost impartiality collected every single favour,
(further than personal civilities) conferred by his Excellency on
Tories, and reputed Tories, since his first arrival hither to this
present 13th day of April, in the year of our Lord 1730, giving all
allowance possible to the arguments on the other side of the question.
* * * * *
And the account will stand thus.
Disposed of preferments and employments to Tories, or reputed Tories, by
his Excellency the Lord Lieutenant in about the space of six years.
To Doctor Thomas Sheridan in a rectory near
Kinsale, _per ann._ 100 0 0
To Sir Arthur Acheson, Baronet, a barrack,
_per ann._ 11 0 0
-----------
111 0 0
-----------
Give me leave now to compute in gross the value of the favours done by
his Excellency to the true friends of their King and Country, and of the
Protestant religion.
It is to be remembered, that although his Excellency cannot be properly
said to bestow bishoprics, commands in the army, the place of a judge,
or commissioner in the revenue, and some others; yet they are, for the
most part, disposed upon his recommendation, except where the persons
are immediately sent from England by their interest at Court, for which
I have allowed large defalcations in the following accounts. And it is
remarkable that the only considerable station conferred on a reputed
Tory since his present Excellency's government was of this latter kind.
And indeed it is but too remarkable, that in a neighbouring nation,
(where that dangerous denomination of men is incomparably more numerous,
more powerful, and of consequence more formidable) real Tories can often
with much less difficulty obtain very high favours from the Government,
than their reputed brethren can arrive to the lowest in ours. I observe
this with all possible submission to the wisdom of their policy, which,
however, will not I believe, dispute the praise of vigilance with ours.
WHIG Account.
To persons promoted to bishoprics, or removed
to more beneficial ones, computed
_per ann._ 10050 0 0
To civil employments, 9030 0 0
To military commands, 8436 0 0
-----------
27516 0 0
TORY Account.
To Tories 111 0 0
-----------
Balance 27405 0 0
-----------
I shall conclude with this observation. That, as I think, the Tories
have sufficient reason to be fully satisfied with the share of trust,
and power, and employments which they possess under the lenity of the
present Government; so, I do not find how his Excellency can be justly
censured for favouring none but High-Church, high-fliers, termagants,
Laudists, Sacheverellians, tip-top-gallant-men, Jacobites, tantivies,
anti-Hanoverians, friends to Popery and the Pretender, and to arbitrary
power, disobligers of England, breakers of DEPENDENCY, inflamers of
quarrels between the two nations, public incendiaries, enemies to the
King and Kingdoms, haters of TRUE Protestants, laurelmen, Annists,
complainers of the Nation's poverty, Ormondians, iconoclasts,
anti-Glorious-memorists, white-rosalists, tenth-a-Junians, and the like:
when by a fair state of the account, the balance, I conceive, plainly
lies on the other side.[170]
A PROPOSAL
FOR
AN ACT OF PARLIAMENT, TO PAY OFF THE DEBT OF THE NATION,
WITHOUT TAXING THE SUBJECT.
BY WHICH THE NUMBER OF LANDED GENTRY AND SUBSTANTIAL FARMERS WILL BE
CONSIDERABLY INCREASED, AND NO ONE PERSON WILL BE THE POORER, OR
CONTRIBUTE ONE FARTHING TO THE CHARGE.
NOTE.
In volume three of the present edition two tracts are given
relating to attempts made by the bishops of Ireland for enlarging
their powers. These tracts are entitled: "On the Bill for the
Clergy's residing on their Livings," and "Considerations upon two
Bills, sent down from the House of Lords and the House of Commons
in Ireland relating to the Clergy of Ireland" (pp. 249-272). The
bills which Swift argued against were evidently intended to give
the bishops further powers and increased opportunities for making
money. (The matter is gone into at length in the notes prefixed to
the above reprints.) The bishops sought rights which would enable
them to obtain large powers in letting leases, and their eagerness
to get such powers, coupled with the efforts they expended, showed
that they had less regard for the Church's interest than for their
own.
In the present tract Swift, with his usual assumption of grave
consideration of an important question, but in reality with cutting
irony, proposes to dispose of all the Church lands for a lump sum,
give the bishops their full just share, including the amount of
fines for possible renewals of leases, and, at the same time, pay
off the national debt with the money that remains. With an air of
strict seriousness he solemnly computes the exact sums obtainable,
and impartially divides the amounts with accurate care. Then, with
a dig at the strangers England was continually sending to Irish
preferments, among whom he counts himself, he concludes by saying
that although the interests of such cannot be expected to be those
of the country to which they have been translated, yet he, as one
of them, is quite willing, and indeed feels himself in duty bound
"to consult the interest of people among whom I have been so well
received. And if I can be any way instrumental toward contributing
to reduce this excellent proposal into a law ... my sincere
endeavours to serve this Church and kingdom will be rewarded."
* * * * *
The text of this pamphlet is based on that given at the end of the
volume containing the first edition of "Considerations upon two
Bills," etc., published in 1732.
[T. S.]
A PROPOSAL FOR AN ACT OF PARLIAMENT, TO PAY OFF THE DEBT OF THE NATION,
WITHOUT TAXING THE SUBJECT.
The debts contracted some years past for the service and safety of the
nation, are grown so great, that under our present distressed condition
by the want of trade, the great remittances to pay absentees, regiments
serving abroad, and many other drains of money, well enough known and
felt; the kingdom seems altogether unable to discharge them by the
common methods of payment: And either a poll or land tax would be too
odious to think of, especially the latter, because the lands, which have
been let for these ten or dozen years past, were raised so high, that
the owners can, at present, hardly receive any rent at all. For, it is
the usual practice of an Irish tenant, rather than want land, to offer
more for a farm than he knows he can be ever able to pay, and in that
case he grows desperate, and pays nothing at all. So that a land-tax
upon a racked estate would be a burthen wholly insupportable.
The question will then be, how these national debts can be paid, and how
I can make good the several particulars of my proposal, which I shall
now lay open to the public.
The revenues of their Graces and Lordships the Archbishops and Bishops
of this kingdom (excluding the fines) do amount by a moderate
computation to _36,800l._ _per ann._ I mean the rents which the
bishops receive from their tenants. But the real value of those lands
at a full rent, taking the several sees one with another, is reckoned
to be at least three-fourths more, so that multiplying _36,800l._ by
four, the full rent of all the bishops' lands will amount to
_147,200l._ _per ann._ from which subtracting the present rent
received by their lordships, that is _36,800l._ the profits of the
lands received by the first and second tenants (who both have great
bargains) will rise to the sum of _110,400l._ _per ann._ which lands,
if they were to be sold at twenty-two years' purchase, would raise a
sum of _2,428,800l._ reserving to the Bishops their present rents,
only excluding fines.[171]