estates, who, if they lived at home, would have many rich retainers in
their neighbourhoods, have learned to rack their lands, and shorten
their leases, as much as any residing squire; and the few remaining of
these latter, having some vain hope of employments for themselves, or
their children, and discouraged by the beggarliness and thievery of
their own miserable farmers and cottagers, or seduced by the vanity of
their wives, on pretence of their children's education (whereof the
fruits are so apparent,) together with that most wonderful, and yet more
unaccountable zeal, for a seat in their assembly, though at some years'
purchase of their whole estates: these, and some other motives better
let pass, have drawn such a concourse to this beggarly city, that the
dealers of the several branches of building have found out all the
commodious and inviting places for erecting new houses; while fifteen
hundred of the old ones, which is a seventh part of the whole city, are
said to be left uninhabited, and falling to ruin. Their method is the
same with that which was first introduced by Dr. Barebone at London, who
died a bankrupt.[42] The mason, the bricklayer, the carpenter, the
slater, and the glazier, take a lot of ground, club to build one or more
houses, unite their credit, their stock, and their money; and when their
work is finished, sell it to the best advantage they can. But, as it
often happens, and more every day, that their fund will not answer half
their design, they are forced to undersell it at the first story, and
are all reduced to beggary. Insomuch, that I know a certain fanatic
brewer, who is reported to have some hundreds of houses in this town, is
said to have purchased the greater part of them at half value from
ruined undertakers; hath intelligence of all new houses where the
finishing is at a stand, takes advantage of the builder's distress, and,
by the advantage of ready money, gets fifty _per cent._ at least for his
bargain.
It is another undisputed maxim in government, "That people are the
riches of a nation;" which is so universally granted, that it will be
hardly pardonable to bring it in doubt. And I will grant it to be so far
true, even in this island, that if we had the African custom, or
privilege, of selling our useless bodies for slaves to foreigners, it
would be the most useful branch of our trade, by ridding us of a most
unsupportable burthen, and bringing us money in the stead. But, in our
present situation, at least five children in six who are born, lie a
dead weight upon us, for want of employment. And a very skilful computer
assured me, that above one half of the souls in this kingdom supported
themselves by begging and thievery; whereof two thirds would be able to
get their bread in any other country upon earth.[43] Trade is the only
incitement to labour; where that fails, the poorer native must either
beg, steal, or starve, or be forced to quit his country. This hath made
me often wish, for some years past, that instead of discouraging our
people from seeking foreign soil, the public would rather pay for
transporting all our unnecessary mortals, whether Papists or
Protestants, to America; as drawbacks are sometimes allowed for
exporting commodities, where a nation is overstocked. I confess myself
to be touched with a very sensible pleasure, when I hear of a mortality
in any country parish or village, where the wretches are forced to pay
for a filthy cabin, and two ridges of potatoes, treble the worth;
brought up to steal or beg, for want of work; to whom death would be the
best thing to be wished for on account both of themselves and the
public.[44]
Among all taxes imposed by the legislature, those upon luxury are
universally allowed to be the most equitable, and beneficial to the
subject; and the commonest reasoner on government might fill a volume
with arguments on the subject. Yet here again, by the singular fate of
Ireland, this maxim is utterly false; and the putting it in practice may
have such pernicious a consequence, as, I certainly believe, the
thoughts of the proposers were not able to reach.
The miseries we suffer by our absentees, are of a far more extensive
nature than seems to be commonly understood. I must vindicate myself to
the reader so far, as to declare solemnly, that what I shall say of
those lords and squires, doth not arise from the least regard I have for
their understandings, their virtues, or their persons: for, although I
have not the honour of the least acquaintance with any one among them,
(my ambition not soaring so high) yet I am too good a witness of the
situation they have been in for thirty years past; the veneration paid
them by the people, the high esteem they are in among the prime nobility
and gentry, the particular marks of favour and distinction they receive
from the Court; the weight and consequence of their interest, added to
their great zeal and application for preventing any hardships their
country might suffer from England, wisely considering that their own
fortunes and honours were embarked in the same bottom.
THE
BLUNDERS, DEFICIENCIES, DISTRESSES,
AND MISFORTUNES OF QUILCA.
PROPOSED TO CONTAIN ONE AND TWENTY VOLUMES IN QUARTO
_Begun April 20, 1724. To be continued Weekly, if due Encouragement be
given._
NOTE.
Swift's friends in Ireland were not many. He had no high opinion of
the people with whom he was compelled to live. But among those who
displeased him least, to use the phrase he employed in writing to
Pope, was a kindly and warm-hearted scholar named Sheridan.
Sheridan must have taken Swift's fancy, since they spent much time
together and wrote each other verses and nonsense rhymes. He had
failed in his attempt to keep up a school in Dublin, and refused
the headmastership of the school of Armagh which Lord Primate
Lindsay had offered him, through Swift's efforts. Swift however
obtained for him, from Carteret, one of the chaplaincies of the
Lord-Lieutenant and a small living near Cork. Unfortunately
Sheridan was struck off from the list of chaplains on the
information of one Richard Tighe who reported that Sheridan, on the
anniversary of the accession of the House of Hanover, had preached
from the text "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." Poor
Sheridan had been totally unconscious of committing any
indiscretion, but he could not deny the fact.
It was at Quilca, a small county village, near Kells, that Sheridan
was accustomed to spend his vacations with his family at a small
house he owned there. Swift used often to use this house, at
Sheridan's desire, and spent many days there in quiet enjoyment
with Mrs. Dingley and Esther Johnson. The place and his life there
he has attempted to describe in the following piece; but the
description may also stand, as Scott observes, as "no bad
supplement to Swift's account of Ireland."
* * * * *
The text here given is based on that printed in the eighth volume
of the Edinburgh edition of 1761.
[T. S.]
THE
BLUNDERS, DEFICIENCIES, DISTRESSES,
AND MISFORTUNES OF QUILCA.[45]
But one lock and a half in the whole house.
The key of the garden door lost.
The empty bottles all uncleanable.
The vessels for drink few and leaky.
The new house all going to ruin before it is finished.
One hinge of the street door broke off, and the people forced to go out
and come in at the back-door.
The door of the Dean's bed-chamber full of large chinks.
The beaufet letting in so much wind that it almost blows out the
candles.
The Dean's bed threatening every night to fall under him.
The little table loose and broken in the joints.
The passages open over head, by which the cats pass continually into the
cellar, and eat the victuals; for which one was tried, condemned, and
executed by the sword.
The large table in a very tottering condition.
But one chair in the house fit for sitting on, and that in a very ill
state of health.
The kitchen perpetually crowded with savages.
Not a bit of mutton to be had in the country.
Want of beds, and a mutiny thereupon among the servants, till supplied
from Kells.
An egregious want of all the most common necessary utensils.
Not a bit of turf in this cold weather; and Mrs. Johnson[46] and the
Dean in person, with all their servants, forced to assist at the bog, in
gathering up the wet bottoms of old clamps.
The grate in the ladies' bed-chamber broke, and forced to be removed, by
which they were compelled to be without fire; the chimney smoking
intolerably; and the Dean's great-coat was employed to stop the wind
from coming down the chimney, without which expedient they must have
been starved to death.
A messenger sent a mile to borrow an old broken tun-dish.
Bottles stopped with bits of wood and tow, instead of corks.
Not one utensil for a fire, except an old pair of tongs, which travels
through the house, and is likewise employed to take the meat out of the
pot, for want of a flesh-fork.
Every servant an arrant thief as to victuals and drink, and every comer
and goer as arrant a thief of everything he or she can lay their hands
on.
The spit blunted with poking into bogs for timber, and tears the meat to
pieces.
_Bellum atque foeminam_: or, A kitchen war between nurse and a nasty
crew of both sexes; she to preserve order and cleanliness, they to
destroy both; and they generally are conquerors.
_April_ 28. This morning the great fore-door quite open, dancing
backwards and forwards with all its weight upon the lower hinge, which
must have been broken if the Dean had not accidentally come and relieved
it.
A great hole in the floor of the ladies' chamber, every hour hazarding a
broken leg.
Two damnable iron spikes erect on the Dean's bedstead, by which he is in
danger of a broken shin at rising and going to bed.
The ladies' and Dean's servants growing fast into the manners and
thieveries of the natives; the ladies themselves very much corrupted;
the Dean perpetually storming, and in danger of either losing all his
flesh, or sinking into barbarity for the sake of peace.
Mrs. Dingley[47] full of cares for herself, and blunders and negligence
for her friends. Mrs. Johnson sick and helpless. The Dean deaf and
fretting; the lady's maid awkward and clumsy; Robert lazy and forgetful;
William a pragmatical, ignorant, and conceited puppy; Robin and nurse
the two great and only supports of the family.
_Bellum lacteum_: or, The milky battle, fought between the Dean and the
crew of Quilca; the latter insisting on their privilege of not milking
till eleven in the forenoon; whereas Mrs. Johnson wanted milk at eight
for her health. In this battle the Dean got the victory; but the crew of
Quilca begin to rebel again; for it is this day almost ten o'clock, and
Mrs. Johnson hath not got her milk.
A proverb on the laziness and lodgings of the servants: "The worse their
sty--the longer they lie."[48]
Two great holes in the wall of the ladies' bed-chamber, just at the back
of the bed, and one of them directly behind Mrs. Johnson's pillow,
either of which would blow out a candle in the calmest day.
A
Short VIEW
OF THE
STATE
OF
IRELAND.
_DUBLIN_:
Printed by _S. HARDING_, next Door to the _Crown_ in _Copper-Alley_,
1727-8.
NOTE.
This tract, written and published towards the end of the year 1728,
summarizes the disadvantages under which Ireland suffered at the
time, and re-enforces the contention that these were mainly due to
England's jealousy and stupid indifference. Swift, however, does
not lose sight of the fact that the people of Ireland also were
somewhat to blame, though in a much less degree.
In Dublin, where tracts of this nature had now become almost
commonplace and where official interference in their publication
had been found unwise and even dangerous, the issue of the "Short
View" was effected without any official comment. In England,
however, where it was reprinted by Mist the journalist, it was
otherwise. Its publication brought down a prosecution on Mist, who,
no doubt, numbered this with the many others which were visited
upon him. It is an important tract, to which many historians of
Ireland have often referred.
* * * * *
The text of the present edition is based on that of the first
edition and compared with that given by Sir Walter Scott.
[T. S.]
A SHORT VIEW
OF
THE STATE OF IRELAND.
I am assured that it hath for some time been practised as a method of
making men's court, when they are asked about the rate of lands, the
abilities of tenants, the state of trade and manufacture in this
Kingdom, and how their rents are paid, to answer, That in their
neighbourhood all things are in a flourishing condition, the rent and
purchase of land every day increasing. And if a gentleman happens to be
a little more sincere in his representations, besides being looked on as
not well affected, he is sure to have a dozen contradictors at his
elbow. I think it is no manner of secret why these questions are so
cordially asked, or so obligingly answered.
But since with regard to the affairs of this Kingdom, I have been using
all endeavours to subdue my indignation, to which indeed I am not
provoked by any personal interest, being not the owner of one spot of
ground in the whole Island, I shall only enumerate by rules generally
known, and never contradicted, what are the true causes of any country's
flourishing and growing rich, and then examine what effects arise from
those causes in the Kingdom of Ireland.
The first cause of a Kingdom's thriving is the fruitfulness of the soil,
to produce the necessaries and conveniences of life, not only sufficient
for the inhabitants, but for exportation into other countries.
The second, is the industry of the people in working up all their native
commodities to the last degree of manufacture.
The third, is the conveniency of safe ports and havens, to carry out
their own goods, as much manufactured, and bring in those of others, as
little manufactured as the nature of mutual commerce will allow.
The fourth, is, That the natives should as much as possible, export and
import their goods in vessels of their own timber, made in their own
country.
The fifth, is the liberty of a free trade in all foreign countries,
which will permit them, except those who are in war with their own
Prince or State.
The sixth, is, by being governed only by laws made with their own
consent, for otherwise they are not a free People. And therefore all
appeals for justice, or applications, for favour or preferment to
another country, are so many grievous impoverishments.
The seventh, is, by improvement of land, encouragement of agriculture,
and thereby increasing the number of their people, without which any
country, however blessed by Nature, must continue poor.
The eighth, is the residence of the Princes, or chief administrators of
the civil power.
The ninth, is the concourse of foreigners for education, curiosity or
pleasure, or as to a general mart of trade.
The tenth, is by disposing all offices of honour, profit or trust, only
to the natives, or at least with very few exceptions, where strangers
have long inhabited the country, and are supposed to understand, and
regard the interest of it as their own.
The eleventh is, when the rents of lands, and profits of employments,
are spent in the country which produced them, and not in another, the
former of which will certainly happen, where the love of our native
country prevails.
The twelfth, is by the public revenues being all spent and employed at
home, except on the occasions of a foreign war.
The thirteenth, is where the people are not obliged, unless they find it
for their own interest, or conveniency, to receive any monies, except of
their own coinage by a public mint, after the manner of all civilized
nations.
The fourteenth, is a disposition of the people of a country to wear
their own manufactures, and import as few incitements to luxury, either
in clothes, furniture, food or drink, as they possibly can live
conveniently without.
There are many other causes of a Nation's thriving, which I cannot at
present recollect; but without advantage from at least some of these,
after turning my thoughts a long time, I am not able to discover from
whence our wealth proceeds, and therefore would gladly be better
informed. In the mean time, I will here examine what share falls to
Ireland of these causes, or of the effects and consequences.
It is not my intention to complain, but barely to relate facts, and the
matter is not of small importance. For it is allowed, that a man who
lives in a solitary house far from help, is not wise in endeavouring to
acquire in the neighbourhood, the reputation of being rich, because
those who come for gold, will go off with pewter and brass, rather than
return empty; and in the common practice of the world, those who possess
most wealth, make the least parade, which they leave to others, who have
nothing else to bear them out, in shewing their faces on the Exchange.
As to the first cause of a Nation's riches, being the fertility of the
soil, as well as temperature of climate, we have no reason to complain;
for although the quantity of unprofitable land in this Kingdom,
reckoning bog, and rock, and barren mountain, be double in proportion to
what it is in England, yet the native productions which both Kingdoms
deal in, are very near on equality in point of goodness, and might with
the same encouragement be as well manufactured. I except mines and
minerals, in some of which however we are only defective in point of
skill and industry.
In the second, which is the industry of the people, our misfortune is
not altogether owing to our own fault, but to a million of
discouragements.
The conveniency of ports and havens which Nature bestowed us so
liberally is of no more use to us, than a beautiful prospect to a man
shut up in a dungeon.
As to shipping of its own, this Kingdom is so utterly unprovided, that
of all the excellent timber cut down within these fifty or sixty years,
it can hardly be said that the Nation hath received the benefit of one
valuable house to dwell in, or one ship to trade with.
Ireland is the only Kingdom I ever heard or read of, either in ancient
or modern story, which was denied the liberty of exporting their native
commodities and manufactures wherever they pleased, except to countries
at war with their own Prince or State, yet this by the superiority of
mere power is refused us in the most momentous parts of commerce,[49]
besides an Act of Navigation to which we never consented, pinned down
upon us, and rigorously executed,[50] and a thousand other unexampled
circumstances as grievous as they are invidious to mention. To go unto
the rest.
It is too well known that we are forced to obey some laws we never
consented to, which is a condition I must not call by its true
uncontroverted name for fear of my Lord Chief Justice Whitshed's ghost
with his _Libertas et natale solum_, written as a motto on his coach, as
it stood at the door of the court, while he was perjuring himself to
betray both.[51] Thus, we are in the condition of patients who have
physic sent them by doctors at a distance, strangers to their
constitution, and the nature of their disease: And thus, we are forced
to pay five hundred _per cent._ to divide our properties, in all which
we have likewise the honour to be distinguished from the whole race of
mankind.
As to improvement of land, those few who attempt that or planting,
through covetousness or want of skill, generally leave things worse than
they were, neither succeeding in trees nor hedges, and by running into
the fancy of grazing after the manner of the Scythians, are every day
depopulating the country.
We are so far from having a King to reside among us, that even the
Viceroy is generally absent four-fifths of his time in the Government.
No strangers from other countries make this a part of their travels,
where they can expect to see nothing but scenes of misery and
desolation.[52]
Those who have the misfortune to be born here, have the least title to
any considerable employment to which they are seldom preferred, but upon
a political consideration.
One third part of the rents of Ireland is spent in England, which with
the profit of employments, pensions, appeals, journeys of pleasure or
health, education at the Inns of Court, and both Universities,
remittances at pleasure, the pay of all superior officers in the army
and other incidents, will amount to a full half of the income of the
whole Kingdom, all clear profit to England.
We are denied the liberty of coining gold, silver, or even copper. In
the Isle of Man, they coin their own silver, every petty Prince, vassal
to the Emperor, can coin what money he pleaseth.[53] And in this as in
most of the articles already mentioned, we are an exception to all other
States or Monarchies that were ever known in the world.
As to the last, or fourteenth article, we take special care to act
diametrically contrary to it in the whole course of our lives. Both
sexes, but especially the women, despise and abhor to wear any of their
own manufactures, even those which are better made than in other
countries, particularly a sort of silk plaid, through which the workmen
are forced to run a sort of gold thread that it may pass for Indian.
Even ale and potatoes in great quantity are imported from England as
well as corn, and our foreign trade is little more than importation of
French wine, for which I am told we pay ready money.
Now if all this be true, upon which I could easily enlarge, I would be
glad to know by what secret method it is that we grow a rich and
flourishing people, without liberty, trade, manufactures, inhabitants,
money, or the privilege of coining; without industry, labour or
improvement of lands, and with more than half of the rent and profits of
the whole Kingdom, annually exported, for which we receive not a single
farthing: And to make up all this, nothing worth mentioning, except the
linen of the North, a trade casual, corrupted, and at mercy, and some
butter from Cork. If we do flourish, it must be against every law of
Nature and Reason, like the thorn at Glastonbury, that blossoms in the
midst of Winter.
Let the worthy Commissioners who come from England ride round the
Kingdom, and observe the face of Nature, or the face of the natives, the
improvement of the land, the thriving numerous plantations, the noble
woods, the abundance and vicinity of country seats, the commodious
farmers houses and barns, the towns and villages, where everybody is
busy and thriving with all kind of manufactures, the shops full of goods
wrought to perfection, and filled with customers, the comfortable diet
and dress, and dwellings of the people, the vast numbers of ships in our
harbours and docks, and shipwrights in our sea-port towns. The roads
crowded with carriers laden with rich manufactures, the perpetual
concourse to and fro of pompous equipages.
With what envy and admiration would these gentlemen return from so
delightful a progress? What glorious reports would they make when they
went back to England?
But my heart is too heavy to continue this journey[54] longer, for it is
manifest that whatever stranger took such a journey, would be apt to
think himself travelling in Lapland or Ysland,[55] rather than in a
country so favoured by Nature as ours, both in fruitfulness of soil, and
temperature of climate. The miserable dress, and diet, and dwelling of
the people. The general desolation in most parts of the Kingdom. The old
seats of the nobility and gentry all in ruins, and no new ones in their
stead. The families of farmers who pay great rents, living in filth and
nastiness upon butter-milk and potatoes, without a shoe or stocking to
their feet, or a house so convenient as an English hog-sty to receive
them.[56] These indeed may be comfortable sights to an English
spectator, who comes for a short time only to learn the language, and
returns back to his own country, whither he finds all our wealth
transmitted.
_Nostrâ miseriâ magnus es._
There is not one argument used to prove the riches of Ireland, which is
not a logical demonstration of its poverty. The rise of our rents is
squeezed out of the very blood and vitals, and clothes, and dwellings of
the tenants who live worse than English beggars. The lowness of
interest, in all other countries a sign of wealth, is in us a proof of
misery, there being no trade to employ any borrower. Hence alone comes
the dearness of land, since the savers have no other way to lay out
their money. Hence the dearness of necessaries for life, because the
tenants cannot afford to pay such extravagant rates for land (which they
must take, or go a-begging) without raising the price of cattle, and of
corn, although they should live upon chaff. Hence our increase of
buildings in this City, because workmen have nothing to do but employ
one another, and one half of them are infallibly undone. Hence the daily
increase of bankers, who may be a necessary evil in a trading country,
but so ruinous in ours, who for their private advantage have sent away
all our silver, and one third of our gold, so that within three years
past the running cash of the Nation, which was about five hundred
thousand pounds, is now less than two, and must daily diminish unless we
have liberty to coin, as well as that important Kingdom the Isle of Man,
and the meanest Prince in the German Empire, as I before observed.[57]
I have sometimes thought, that this paradox of the Kingdom growing rich,
is chiefly owing to those worthy gentlemen the BANKERS, who, except some
custom-house officers, birds of passage, oppressive thrifty squires, and
a few others that shall be nameless, are the only thriving people among
us: And I have often wished that a law were enacted to hang up half a
dozen bankers every year, and thereby interpose at least some short
delay, to the further ruin of Ireland.
"Ye are idle, ye are idle," answered Pharaoh to the Israelites, when
they complained to his Majesty, that they were forced to make bricks
without straw.