which I have above enumerated, and into the bargain, a good million
returned to them every year without labour or hazard, or one farthing
value received on our side. But how long we shall be able to continue
the payment, I am not under the least concern. One thing I know, that
_when the hen is starved to death, there will be no more golden eggs_.
I think it a little unhospitable, and others may call it a subtile piece
of malice, that, because there may be a dozen families in this Town,
able to entertain their English friends in a generous manner at their
tables, their guests upon their return to England, shall report that we
wallow in riches and luxury.
Yet I confess I have known an hospital, where all the household officers
grew rich, while the poor for whose sake it was built, were almost
starving for want of food and raiment.
To conclude. If Ireland be a rich and flourishing Kingdom, its wealth
and prosperity must be owing to certain causes, that are yet concealed
from the whole race of mankind, and the effects are equally invisible.
We need not wonder at strangers when they deliver such paradoxes, but a
native and inhabitant of this Kingdom, who gives the same verdict, must
be either ignorant to stupidity, or a man-pleaser at the expense of all
honour, conscience and truth.
THE STORY
OF THE
INJURED LADY.
WRITTEN BY HERSELF.
AND
THE ANSWER TO THE
INJURED LADY.
NOTE.
Under the guises of a gentleman and two ladies, Swift represents
England, Scotland, and Ireland--England being the gentleman and
Scotland and Ireland the two mistresses for whom he is affecting an
honourable love. The Injured Lady is Ireland, who represents her
rival, Scotland, as unworthy of her lover's attention. She
expatiates on her own attractions and upbraids him also on his
treatment of her. This affords Swift an opportunity for some
searching and telling criticism on England's conduct towards
Ireland. The fiction is admirably maintained throughout the story.
In "The Answer to the Injured Lady" which follows "The Story,"
Swift takes it upon himself to give her proper advice for her
future conduct towards her lover. In this advice he reiterates what
he has always been saying to the people of Ireland, but formulates
it in the language affected by the lady herself. He tells her that
she should look to it that her "family and tenants have no
dependence upon the said gentleman farther than by the old
agreement [the Act of Henry VII], which obliges you to have the
same steward, and to regulate your household by such methods as you
should both agree to"; that she shall be free to carry her goods to
any market she pleases; that she shall compel the servants to whom
she pays wages to remain at home; and that if she make an agreement
with a tenant, it shall not be in his power to break it. If she
will only show a proper spirit, he assures her that there are
gentlemen who would be glad of an occasion to support her in her
resentment.
* * * * *
The text of both the tracts here given is based on that of the
earliest edition I could find, namely, that of 1746, collated with
that given by Faulkner.
[T. S.]
THE
STORY
OF THE
INJURED LADY.
Being a true PICTURE of SCOTCH Perfidy, IRISH
Poverty, and ENGLISH Partiality.
WITH
LETTERS and POEMS
Never before Printed.
* * * * *
By the Rev. Dr. SWIFT, D. S. P. D.
* * * * *
_LONDON_,
Printed for M. COOPER, at the _Globe_ in
_Pater-Noster-Row_. MDCCXLVI.
[Price One Shilling.]
SIR,
Being ruined by the inconstancy and unkindness of a lover, I hope, a
true and plain relation of my misfortunes may be of use and warning to
credulous maids, never to put too much trust in deceitful men.
A gentleman[58] in the neighbourhood had two mistresses, another and
myself;[59] and he pretended honourable love to us both. Our three
houses stood pretty near one another; his was parted from mine by a
river,[60] and from my rival's by an old broken wall.[61] But before I
enter into the particulars of this gentleman's hard usage of me, I will
give a very just impartial character of my rival and myself.
As to her person she is tall and lean, and very ill shaped; she hath bad
features, and a worse complexion; she hath a stinking breath, and twenty
ill smells about her besides; which are yet more insufferable by her
natural sluttishness; for she is always lousy, and never without the
itch. As to other qualities, she hath no reputation either for virtue,
honesty, truth, or manners; and it is no wonder, considering what her
education hath been. Scolding and cursing are her common conversation.
To sum up all; she is poor and beggarly, and gets a sorry maintenance by
pilfering wherever she comes. As for this gentleman who is now so fond
of her, she still beareth him an invincible hatred; revileth him to his
face, and raileth at him in all companies. Her house is frequented by a
company of rogues and thieves, and pickpockets, whom she encourageth to
rob his hen-roosts, steal his corn and cattle, and do him all manner of
mischief.[62] She hath been known to come at the head of these rascals,
and beat her lover until he was sore from head to foot, and then force
him to pay for the trouble she was at. Once, attended with a crew of
ragamuffins, she broke into his house, turned all things topsy-turvy,
and then set it on fire. At the same time she told so many lies among
his servants, that it set them all by the ears, and his poor _Steward_
was knocked on the head;[63] for which I think, and so doth all the
Country, that she ought to be answerable. To conclude her character; she
is of a different religion, being a Presbyterian of the most rank and
virulent kind, and consequently having an inveterate hatred to the
Church; yet, I am sure, I have been always told, that in marriage there
ought to be an union of minds as well as of persons.
I will now give my own character, and shall do it in few words, and with
modesty and truth.
I was reckoned to be as handsome as any in our neighbourhood, until I
became pale and thin with grief and ill usage. I am still fair enough,
and have, I think, no very ill feature about me. They that see me now
will hardly allow me ever to have had any great share of beauty; for
besides being so much altered, I go always mobbed and in an undress, as
well out of neglect, as indeed for want of clothes to appear in. I might
add to all this, that I was born to a good estate, although it now
turneth to little account under the oppressions I endure, and hath been
the true cause of all my misfortunes.[64]
Some years ago, this gentleman taking a fancy either to my person or
fortune, made his addresses to me; which, being then young and foolish,
I too readily admitted; he seemed to use me with so much tenderness, and
his conversation was so very engaging, that all my constancy and virtue
were too soon overcome; and, to dwell no longer upon a theme that
causeth such bitter reflections, I must confess with shame, that I was
undone by the common arts practised upon all easy credulous virgins,
half by force, and half by consent, after solemn vows and protestations
of marriage. When he had once got possession, he soon began to play the
usual part of a too fortunate lover, affecting on all occasions to shew
his authority, and to act like a conqueror. First, he found fault with
the government of my family, which I grant, was none of the best,
consisting of ignorant illiterate creatures; for at that time, I knew
but little of the world. In compliance to him, therefore, I agreed to
fall into his ways and methods of living; I consented that his
steward[65] should govern my house, and have liberty to employ an
under-steward,[66] who should receive his directions. My lover proceeded
further, turning away several old servants and tenants, and supplying me
with others from his own house. These grew so domineering and
unreasonable, that there was no quiet, and I heard of nothing but
perpetual quarrels, which although I could not possibly help, yet my
lover laid all the blame and punishment upon me; and upon every falling
out, still turned away more of my people, and supplied me in their stead
with a number of fellows and dependents of his own, whom he had no other
way to provide for.[67] Overcome by love and to avoid noise and
contention, I yielded to all his usurpations, and finding it in vain to
resist, I thought it my best policy to make my court to my new servants,
and draw them to my interests; I fed them from my own table with the
best I had, put my new tenants on the choice parts of my land, and
treated them all so kindly, that they began to love me as well as their
master. In process of time, all my old servants were gone, and I had not
a creature about me, nor above one or two tenants but what were of his
choosing; yet I had the good luck by gentle usage to bring over the
greatest part of them to my side. When my lover observed this, he began
to alter his language; and, to those who enquired about me, he would
answer, that I was an old dependant upon his family, whom he had placed
on some concerns of his own; and he began to use me accordingly,
neglecting by degrees all common civility in his behaviour. I shall
never forget the speech he made me one morning, which he delivered with
all the gravity in the world. He put me in the mind of the vast
obligations I lay under to him, in sending me so many of his people for
my own good, and to teach me manners: That it had cost him ten times
more than I was worth, to maintain me: That it had been much better for
him, if I had been damned, or burnt, or sunk to the bottom of the sea:
That it was but reasonable I should strain myself as far as I was able,
to reimburse him some of his charges: That from henceforward he expected
his word should be a law to me in all things: That I must maintain a
parish-watch against thieves and robbers, and give salaries to an
overseer, a constable, and others, all of his own choosing, whom he
would send from time to time to be spies upon me: That to enable me the
better in supporting these expenses, my tenants shall be obliged to
carry all their goods cross the river to his town-market, and pay toll
on both sides, and then sell them at half value.[68] But because we were
a nasty sort of people, and that he could not endure to touch anything
we had a hand in, and likewise, because he wanted work to employ his own
folks, therefore we must send all our goods to his market just in their
naturals;[69] the milk immediately from the cow without making it into
cheese or butter; the corn in the ear, the grass as it is mowed; the
wool as it cometh from the sheep's back, and bring the fruit upon the
branch, that he might not be obliged to eat it after our filthy hands:
That if a tenant carried but a piece of bread and cheese to eat by the
way, or an inch of worsted to mend his stockings, he should forfeit his
whole parcel: And because a company of rogues usually plied on the river
between us, who often robbed my tenants of their goods and boats, he
ordered a waterman of his to guard them, whose manner was to be out of
the way until the poor wretches were plundered; then to overtake the
thieves, and seize all as lawful prize to his master and himself. It
would be endless to repeat a hundred other hardships he hath put upon
me; but it is a general rule, that whenever he imagines the smallest
advantage will redound to one of his footboys by any new oppression of
me and my whole family and estate, he never disputeth it a moment. All
this hath rendered me so very insignificant and contemptible at home,
that some servants to whom I pay the greatest wages, and many tenants
who have the most beneficial leases, are gone over to live with him; yet
I am bound to continue their wages, and pay their rents;[70] by which
means one third part of my whole income is spent on his estate, and
above another third by his tolls and markets; and my poor tenants are so
sunk and impoverished, that, instead of maintaining me suitably to my
quality, they can hardly find me clothes to keep me warm, or provide the
common necessaries of life for themselves.
Matters being in this posture between me and my lover; I received
intelligence that he had been for some time making very pressing
overtures of marriage to my rival, until there happened some
misunderstandings between them; she gave him ill words, and threatened
to break off all commerce with him. He, on the other side, having either
acquired courage by his triumphs over me, or supposing her as tame a
fool as I, thought at first to carry it with a high hand; but hearing at
the same time, that she had thoughts of making some private proposals to
join with me against him, and doubting, with very good reason, that I
would readily accept them, he seemed very much disconcerted.[71] This I
thought was a proper occasion to shew some great example of generosity
and love, and so, without further consideration, I sent him word, that
hearing there was likely to be a quarrel between him and my rival;
notwithstanding all that had passed, and without binding him to any
conditions in my own favour, I would stand by him against her and all
the world, while I had a penny in my purse, or a petticoat to pawn. This
message was subscribed by all my chief tenants; and proved so powerful,
that my rival immediately grew more tractable upon it. The result of
which was, that there is now a treaty of marriage concluded between
them,[72] the wedding clothes are bought, and nothing remaineth but to
perform the ceremony, which is put off for some days, because they
design it to be a public wedding. And to reward my love, constancy, and
generosity, he hath bestowed on me the office of being sempstress to his
grooms and footmen, which I am forced to accept or starve.[73] Yet, in
the midst of this my situation, I cannot but have some pity for this
deluded man, to cast himself away on an infamous creature, who, whatever
she pretendeth, I can prove, would at this very minute rather be a whore
to a certain great man, that shall be nameless, if she might have her
will.[74] For my part, I think, and so doth all the country too, that
the man is possessed; at least none of us are able to imagine what he
can possibly see in her, unless she hath bewitched him, or given him
some powder.
I am sure, I never sought his alliance, and you can bear me witness,
that I might have had other matches; nay, if I were lightly disposed, I
could still perhaps have offers, that some, who hold their heads higher,
would be glad to accept.[75] But alas! I never had any such wicked
thought; all I now desire is, only to enjoy a little quiet, to be free
from the persecutions of this unreasonable man, and that he will let me
manage my own little fortune to the best advantage; for which I will
undertake to pay him a considerable pension every year, much more
considerable than what he now gets by his oppressions; for he must needs
find himself a loser at last, when he hath drained me and my tenants so
dry, that we shall not have a penny for him or ourselves. There is one
imposition of his, I had almost forgot, which I think unsufferable, and
will appeal to you or any reasonable person, whether it be so or not. I
told you before, that by an old compact we agreed to have the same
steward, at which time I consented likewise to regulate my family and
estate by the same method with him, which he then shewed me writ down
in form, and I approved of.[76] Now, the turn he thinks fit to give this
compact of ours is very extraordinary; for he pretends that whatever
orders he shall think fit to prescribe for the future in his family, he
may, if he will, compel mine to observe them, without asking my advice,
or hearing my reasons. So that, I must not make a lease without his
consent, or give any directions for the well-governing of my family, but
what he countermands whenever he pleaseth. This leaveth me at such
confusion and uncertainty, that my servants know not when to obey me,
and my tenants, although many of them be very well inclined, seem quite
at a loss.
But I am too tedious upon this melancholy subject, which however, I
hope, you will forgive, since the happiness of my whole life dependeth
upon it. I desire you will think a while, and give your best advice what
measures I shall take with prudence, justice, courage, and honour, to
protect my liberty and fortune against the hardships and severities I
lie under from that unkind, inconstant man.
THE ANSWER TO THE INJURED LADY.
MADAM,
I have received your Ladyship's letter, and carefully considered every
part of it, and shall give you my opinion how you ought to proceed for
your own security. But first, I must beg leave to tell your Ladyship,
that you were guilty of an unpardonable weakness t'other day in making
that offer to your lover, of standing by him in any quarrel he might
have with your rival. You know very well, that she began to apprehend he
had designs of using her as he had done you; and common prudence might
have directed you rather to have entered into some measures with her for
joining against him, until he might at least be brought to some
reasonable terms: But your invincible hatred to that lady hath carried
your resentments so high, as to be the cause of your ruin; yet, if you
please to consider, this aversion of yours began a good while before she
became your rival, and was taken up by you and your family in a sort of
compliment to your lover, who formerly had a great abhorrence for her.
It is true, since that time you have suffered very much by her
encroachments upon your estate,[77] but she never pretended to govern or
direct you: And now you have drawn a new enemy upon yourself; for I
think you may count upon all the ill offices she can possibly do you by
her credit with her husband; whereas, if, instead of openly declaring
against her without any provocation, you had but sat still awhile, and
said nothing, that gentleman would have lessened his severity to you out
of perfect fear. This weakness of yours, you call generosity; but I
doubt there was more in the matter. In short, Madam, I have good
reasons to think you were betrayed to it by the pernicious counsels of
some about you: For to my certain knowledge, several of your tenants and
servants, to whom you have been very kind, are as arrant rascals as any
in the Country. I cannot but observe what a mighty difference there is
in one particular between your Ladyship and your rival. Having yielded
up your person, you thought nothing else worth defending, and therefore
you will not now insist upon those very conditions for which you yielded
at first. But your Ladyship cannot be ignorant, that some years since
your rival did the same thing, and upon no conditions at all; nay, this
gentleman kept her as a miss, and yet made her pay for her diet and
lodging.[78] But, it being at a time when he had no steward, and his
family out of order, she stole away, and hath now got the trick very
well known among the women of the town, to grant a man the favour over
night and the next day have the impudence to deny it to his face. But,
it is too late to reproach you with any former oversights, which cannot
now be rectified. I know the matters of fact as you relate them are true
and fairly represented. My advice therefore is this. Get your tenants
together as soon as you conveniently can, and make them agree to the
following resolutions.
_First_, That your family and tenants have no dependence upon the said
gentleman, further than by the old agreement, which obligeth you to have
the same steward, and to regulate your household by such methods as you
should both agree to.[79]
_Secondly_, That you will not carry your goods to the market of his
town, unless you please, nor be hindered from carrying them anywhere
else.[80]
_Thirdly_, That the servants you pay wages to shall live at home, or
forfeit their places.[81]
_Fourthly_, That whatever lease you make to a tenant, it shall not be in
his power to break it.[82]
If he will agree to these articles, I advise you to contribute as
largely as you can to all charges of Parish and County.
I can assure you, several of that gentleman's ablest tenants and
servants are against his severe usage of you, and would be glad of an
occasion to convince the rest of their error, if you will not be wanting
to yourself.
If the gentleman refuses these just and reasonable offers, pray let me
know it, and perhaps I may think of something else that will be more
effectual.
I am,
Madam,
Your Ladyship's, etc.
AN
ANSWER TO A PAPER,
CALLED
"A MEMORIAL
OF THE
POOR INHABITANTS, TRADESMEN, AND LABOURERS OF THE KINGDOM OF IRELAND."
WRITTEN IN THE YEAR 1728.
NOTE.
This is, perhaps, as trenchant and fine a piece of writing as is to
be found in any of those pamphlets Swift wrote for the alleviation
of the miserable condition of Ireland. The author of the "Memorial"
to which Swift made this passionate reply was Sir John Browne, and
the purport of his writing may be easily gathered from Swift's
animadversions.
* * * * *
The text here given is based on that printed by Faulkner in 1735 in
the fourth volume of his collected edition of Swift's works. Scott
reprints Browne's "Memorial" and his reply to the present "Answer,"
but they are of little importance and in no way assist us in our
appreciation of Swift's work. The date of Swift's answer is given
by Faulkner as "March 25th, 1728," which year Scott misprints 1738,
evidently a printer's error, though the arrangement of the order of
the pamphlets in his edition leaves much to be desired.
[T. S.]
AN ANSWER TO A PAPER, CALLED
"A MEMORIAL
OF THE
POOR INHABITANTS, TRADESMEN, AND LABOURERS OF THE KINGDOM OF IRELAND."
I received a paper from you, wherever you are, printed without any name
of author or printer, and sent, I suppose, to me among others, without
any particular distinction. It contains a complaint of the dearness of
corn, and some schemes of making it cheaper which I cannot approve of.
But pray permit me, before I go further, to give you a short history of
the steps by which we arrived at this hopeful situation.
It was, indeed, the shameful practice of too many Irish farmers, to wear
out their ground with ploughing; while, either through poverty,
laziness, or ignorance, they neither took care to manure it as they
ought, nor gave time to any part of the land to recover itself; and,
when their leases are near expiring, being assured that their landlords
would not renew, they ploughed even the meadows, and made such a havock,
that many landlords were considerable sufferers by it.
This gave birth to that abominable race of graziers, who, upon
expiration of the farmer's leases were ready to engross great quantities
of land; and the gentlemen having been before often ill paid, and their
land worn out of heart, were too easily tempted, when a rich grazier
made him an offer to take all his land, and give his security for
payment. Thus a vast tract of land, where twenty or thirty farmers
lived, together with their cottagers and labourers in their several
cabins, became all desolate, and easily managed by one or two herdsmen
and their boys; whereby the master-grazier, with little trouble, seized
to himself the livelihood of a hundred people.
It must be confessed, that the farmers were justly punished for their
knavery, brutality, and folly. But neither are the squires and landlords
to be excused; for to them is owing the depopulating of the country, the
vast number of beggars, and the ruin of those few sorry improvements we
had.
That farmers should be limited in ploughing is very reasonable, and
practised in England, and might have easily been done here by penal
clauses in their leases; but to deprive them, in a manner, altogether
from tilling their lands, was a most stupid want of thinking.
Had the farmers been confined to plough a certain quantity of land, with
a penalty of ten pounds an acre for whatever they exceeded, and farther
limited for the three or four last years of their leases, all this evil
had been prevented; the nation would have saved a million of money, and
been more populous by above two hundred thousand souls.
For a people, denied the benefit of trade, to manage their lands in such
a manner as to produce nothing but what they are forbidden to trade
with,[83] or only such things as they can neither export nor manufacture
to advantage, is an absurdity that a wild Indian would be ashamed of;
especially when we add, that we are content to purchase this hopeful
commerce, by sending to foreign markets for our daily bread.