my charge to guard the carriages, behind which I was commanded to stick
close, that they might not be attacked in the rear. I have had the
honour to be a favourite of several fine ladies; who, each of them at
different times, gave me such coloured knots and public marks of
distinction, that every one knew which of them it was to whom I paid my
address. They would not go into their coach without me, nor willingly
drink unless I gave them the glass with my own hand. They allowed me to
call them my mistresses, and owned that title publicly. I have been
told, that the true ancient employment of a squire was to carry a
knight's shield, painted with his colours and coat of arms. This is what
I have witnesses to produce that I have often done; not indeed in a
shield, like my predecessors, but that which is full as good, I have
carried the colours of a knight upon my coat.[31] I have likewise borne
the king's arms in my hand, as a mark of authority;[32] and hung them
painted before my dwelling-house, as a mark of my calling:[33] So that I
may truly say, His Majesty's arms have been my supporters. I have been a
strict and constant follower of men of quality, I have diligently
pursued the steps of several squires, and am able to behave myself as
well as the best of them, whenever there shall be occasion.
I desire it may be no disadvantage to me, that, by the new act of
parliament going to pass for preserving the game, I am not yet qualified
to keep a greyhound. If this should be the test of squirehood, it will
go hard with a great number of my fraternity, as well as myself, who
must all be unsquired, because a greyhound will not be allowed to keep
us company; and it is well known I have been a companion to his betters.
What has a greyhound to do with a squireship? Might I not be a real
squire, although there was no such thing as a greyhound in the world?
Pray tell me, sir, are greyhounds to be from henceforth the supporters
of every squire's coat of arms? Although I cannot keep a greyhound, may
not a greyhound help to keep me? May not I have an order from the
governors of the bank to keep a greyhound, with a _non obstante_ to the
act of parliament, as well as they have created a bank against the votes
of the two Houses? But, however, this difficulty will soon be overcome.
I am promised _125l._ a year for subscribing _500l._; and, of this
_500l._ I am to pay in only _25l._ ready money: The governors will trust
me for the rest, and pay themselves out of the interest by _25l._ _per
cent._ So that I intend to receive only _40l._ a-year, to qualify me for
keeping my family and a greyhound, and let the remaining _85l._ go on
till it makes _500l._ then _1000l._ then _10,000l._ then _100,000l._
then a million, and so forwards. This, I think, is much better (betwixt
you and me) than keeping fairs, and buying and selling bullocks; by
which I find, from experience, that little is to be gotten, in these
hard times. I am,
SIR,
Your friend, and
Servant to command,
A. B. ESQUIRE.
_Postscript_. I hope you will favourably represent my case to the
publisher of the paper above-mentioned.
Direct your letter for A. B. Esquire, at ---- in ----; and, pray, get some
parliament-man to frank it, for it will cost a groat postage to this
place.
THE
LAST SPEECH AND DYING WORDS
OF
EBENEZER ELLISTON.
WHO WAS EXECUTED THE SECOND DAY OF MAY, 1722.
_Published at his desire, for the common good._
_N. B. About the time that this speech was written, the Town was
much pestered with street-robbers; who, in a barbarous manner would
seize on gentlemen, and take them into remote corners, and after
they had robbed them, would leave them bound and gagged. It is
remarkable, that this speech had so good an effect, that there have
been very few robberies of that kind committed since._[34]
NOTE.
Burke spoke of Swift's tracts of a public nature, relating to
Ireland, as "those in which the Dean appears in the best light,
because they do honour to his heart as well as his head; furnishing
some additional proofs that, though he was very free in his abuse
of the inhabitants of that country, as well natives as foreigners,
he had their interest sincerely at heart, and perfectly understood
it."
The following tract on "The Last Words and Dying Speech of Ebenezer
Elliston" admirably illustrates Burke's remark.
The city of Dublin, at the time Swift wrote, was on a par with some
of the lower districts of New York City about twenty years ago,
which were dangerous in the extreme to traverse after dark. Robbers
in gangs would waylay pedestrians and leave them often badly
maltreated and maimed. These thieves and "roughs" became so
impudent and brazen in their business that the condition of the
city was a disgrace to the municipal government. To put down the
nuisance Swift took a characteristic method. Ebenezer Elliston had,
about this time, been executed for street robbery. Although given a
good education by his parents, he forsook his trade of a silk
weaver, and became a gambler and burglar. He was well known to the
other gangs which infested Dublin, but his death did not act as a
deterrent. Swift, in composing Elliston's pretended dying speech,
gave it the flavour and character of authenticity in order to
impose on the members of other gangs, and so successful was he in
his intention, that the speech was accepted as the real expression
of their late companion by the rest and had a most salutary effect.
Scott says it was "received as genuine by the banditti who had been
companions of his depredations, who were the more easily persuaded
of its authenticity as it contained none of the cant usual in the
dying speeches composed for malefactors by the Ordinary or the
ballad-makers. The threat which it held out of a list deposited
with a secure hand, containing their names, crimes, and place of
rendezvous, operated for a long time in preventing a repetition of
their villanies, which had previously been so common."
* * * * *
The text of the present edition is based on that given by Faulkner
in the fourth volume of his edition of Swift printed in Dublin in
1735.
[T. S.]
THE LAST SPEECH AND DYING WORDS OF EBENEZER ELLISTON.
I am now going to suffer the just punishment for my crimes prescribed by
the law of God and my country. I know it is the constant custom, that
those who come to this place should have speeches made for them, and
cried about in their own hearing, as they are carried to execution; and
truly they are such speeches that although our fraternity be an ignorant
illiterate people, they would make a man ashamed to have such nonsense
and false English charged upon him even when he is going to the gallows:
They contain a pretended account of our birth and family; of the fact
for which we are to die; of our sincere repentance; and a declaration of
our religion.[35] I cannot expect to avoid the same treatment with my
predecessors. However, having had an education one or two degrees better
than those of my rank and profession;[36] I have been considering ever
since my commitment, what it might be proper for me to deliver upon this
occasion.
And first, I cannot say from the bottom of my heart, that I am truly
sorry for the offence I have given to God and the world; but I am very
much so, for the bad success of my villainies in bringing me to this
untimely end. For it is plainly evident, that after having some time ago
obtained a pardon from the crown, I again took up my old trade; my evil
habits were so rooted in me, and I was grown so unfit for any other
kind of employment. And therefore although in compliance with my
friends, I resolve to go to the gallows after the usual manner,
kneeling, with a book in my hand, and my eyes lift up; yet I shall feel
no more devotion in my heart than I have observed in some of my
comrades, who have been drunk among common whores the very night before
their execution. I can say further from my own knowledge, that two of my
fraternity after they had been hanged, and wonderfully came to life, and
made their escapes, as it sometimes happens, proved afterwards the
wickedest rogues I ever knew, and so continued until they were hanged
again for good and all; and yet they had the impudence at both times
they went to the gallows, to smite their breasts, and lift up their eyes
to Heaven all the way.
Secondly, From the knowledge I have of my own wicked dispositions and
that of my comrades, I give it as my opinion, that nothing can be more
unfortunate to the public, than the mercy of the government in ever
pardoning or transporting us; unless when we betray one another, as we
never fail to do, if we are sure to be well paid; and then a pardon may
do good; by the same rule, "That it is better to have but one fox in a
farm than three or four." But we generally make a shift to return after
being transported, and are ten times greater rogues than before, and
much more cunning. Besides, I know it by experience, that some hopes we
have of finding mercy, when we are tried, or after we are condemned, is
always a great encouragement to us.
Thirdly, Nothing is more dangerous to idle young fellows, than the
company of those odious common whores we frequent, and of which this
town is full: These wretches put us upon all mischief to feed their
lusts and extravagancies: They are ten times more bloody and cruel than
men; their advice is always not to spare if we are pursued; they get
drunk with us, and are common to us all; and yet, if they can get
anything by it, are sure to be our betrayers.
Now, as I am a dying man, I have done something which may be of good use
to the public. I have left with an honest man (and indeed the only
honest man I was ever acquainted with) the names of all my wicked
brethren, the present places of their abode, with a short account of the
chief crimes they have committed; in many of which I have been their
accomplice, and heard the rest from their own mouths: I have likewise
set down the names of those we call our setters, of the wicked houses we
frequent, and of those who receive and buy our stolen goods. I have
solemnly charged this honest man, and have received his promise upon
oath, that whenever he hears of any rogue to be tried for robbing, or
house-breaking, he will look into his list, and if he finds the name
there of the thief concerned, to send the whole paper to the government.
Of this I here give my companions fair and public warning, and hope they
will take it.
In the paper above mentioned, which I left with my friend, I have also
set down the names of several gentlemen who have been robbed in Dublin
streets for three years past: I have told the circumstances of those
robberies; and shewn plainly that nothing but the want of common courage
was the cause of their misfortunes. I have therefore desired my friend,
that whenever any gentlemen happens to be robbed in the streets, he will
get that relation printed and published with the first letters of those
gentlemen's names, who by their own want of bravery are likely to be the
cause of all the mischief of that kind, which may happen for the future.
I cannot leave the world without a short description of that kind of
life, which I have led for some years past; and is exactly the same with
the rest of our wicked brethren.
Although we are generally so corrupted from our childhood, as to have no
sense of goodness; yet something heavy always hangs about us, I know not
what it is, that we are never easy till we are half drunk among our
whores and companions; nor sleep sound, unless we drink longer than we
can stand. If we go abroad in the day, a wise man would easily find us
to be rogues by our faces; we have such a suspicious, fearful, and
constrained countenance; often turning back, and slinking through narrow
lanes and alleys. I have never failed of knowing a brother thief by his
looks, though I never saw him before. Every man among us keeps his
particular whore, who is however common to us all, when we have a mind
to change. When we have got a booty, if it be in money, we divide it
equally among our companions, and soon squander it away on our vices in
those houses that receive us; for the master and mistress, and the very
tapster, go snacks; and besides make us pay treble reckonings. If our
plunder be plate, watches, rings, snuff-boxes, and the like; we have
customers in all quarters of the town to take them off. I have seen a
tankard worth fifteen pounds sold to a fellow in ---- street for twenty
shillings; and a gold watch for thirty. I have set down his name, and
that of several others in the paper already mentioned. We have setters
watching in corners, and by dead walls, to give us notice when a
gentleman goes by; especially if he be anything in drink. I believe in
my conscience, that if an account were made of a thousand pounds in
stolen goods; considering the low rates we sell them at, the bribes we
must give for concealment, the extortions of alehouse-reckonings, and
other necessary charges, there would not remain fifty pounds clear to be
divided among the robbers. And out of this we must find clothes for our
whores, besides treating them from morning to night; who, in requital,
reward us with nothing but treachery and the pox. For when our money is
gone, they are every moment threatening to inform against us, if we will
not go out to look for more. If anything in this world be like hell, as
I have heard it described by our clergy; the truest picture of it must
be in the back-room of one of our ale-houses at midnight; where a crew of
robbers and their whores are met together after a booty, and are
beginning to grow drunk, from which time, until they are past their
senses, is such a continued horrible noise of cursing, blasphemy,
lewdness, scurrility, and brutish behaviour; such roaring and confusion,
such a clatter of mugs and pots at each other's heads, that Bedlam, in
comparison, is a sober and orderly place: At last they all tumble from
their stools and benches, and sleep away the rest of the night; and
generally the landlord or his wife, or some other whore who has a
stronger head than the rest, picks their pockets before they wake. The
misfortune is, that we can never be easy till we are drunk; and our
drunkenness constantly exposes us to be more easily betrayed and taken.
This is a short picture of the life I have led; which is more miserable
than that of the poorest labourer who works for four pence a day; and
yet custom is so strong, that I am confident, if I could make my escape
at the foot of the gallows, I should be following the same course this
very evening. So that upon the whole, we ought to be looked upon as the
common enemies of mankind; whose interest it is to root us out likes
wolves, and other mischievous vermin, against which no fair play is
required.
If I have done service to men in what I have said, I shall hope I have
done service to God; and that will be better than a silly speech made
for me full of whining and canting, which I utterly despise, and have
never been used to; yet such a one I expect to have my ears tormented
with, as I am passing along the streets.
Good people fare ye well; bad as I am, I leave many worse behind me. I
hope you shall see me die like a man, the death of a dog.
E. E.
THE TRUTH
OF SOME
MAXIMS IN STATE AND GOVERNMENT,
EXAMINED
WITH REFERENCE TO IRELAND.
NOTE.
These maxims, written in the year 1724, may be taken as Swift's
opening of his campaign against the oppressive legislation of
England which had brought Ireland to the degraded and
poverty-stricken condition it existed in at the time he wrote.
Burke characterizes these maxims as "a collection of State
Paradoxes, abounding with great sense and penetration." The
subjects they touch on are dealt with in greater detail in the
tracts which follow in this volume, and the reader is referred to
them and the notes for the causes which had brought Ireland in so
low a state.
* * * * *
The text of the present edition is based on that given by Deane
Swift in the eighth volume of the edition of 1765.
[T. S.]
MAXIMS CONTROLLED[37] IN IRELAND.
There are certain maxims of state, founded upon long observation and
experience, drawn from the constant practice of the wisest nations, and
from the very principles of government, nor ever controlled by any
writer upon politics. Yet all these maxims do necessarily presuppose a
kingdom, or commonwealth, to have the same natural rights common to the
rest of mankind, who have entered into civil society; for if we could
conceive a nation where each of the inhabitants had but one eye, one
leg, and one hand, it is plain that, before you could institute them
into a republic, an allowance must be made for those material defects
wherein they differed from other mortals. Or, imagine a legislator
forming a system for the government of Bedlam, and, proceeding upon the
maxim that man is a sociable animal, should draw them out of their
cells, and form them into corporations or general assemblies; the
consequence might probably be, that they would fall foul on each other,
or burn the house over their own heads.
Of the like nature are innumerable errors committed by crude and short
thinkers, who reason upon general topics, without the least allowance
for the most important circumstances, which quite alter the nature of
the case.
This hath been the fate of those small dealers, who are every day
publishing their thoughts, either on paper or in their assemblies, for
improving the trade of Ireland, and referring us to the practice and
example of England, Holland, France, or other nations.
I shall, therefore, examine certain maxims of government, which
generally pass for uncontrolled in the world, and consider how far they
will suit with the present condition of this kingdom.
First, It is affirmed by wise men, that "The dearness of things
necessary for life, in a fruitful country, is a certain sign of wealth
and great commerce;" for when such necessaries are dear, it must
absolutely follow that money is cheap and plentiful.
But this is manifestly false in Ireland, for the following reason. Some
years ago, the species of money here did probably amount to six or seven
hundred thousand pounds;[38] and I have good cause to believe, that our
remittances then did not much exceed the cash brought in to us. But, the
prodigious discouragements we have since received in every branch of our
trade, by the frequent enforcements and rigorous execution of the
navigation-act,[39] the tyranny of under custom-house officers, the
yearly addition of absentees, the payments to regiments abroad, to civil
and military officers residing in England, the unexpected sudden demands
of great sums from the treasury, and some other drains of perhaps as
great consequence,[40] we now see ourselves reduced to a state (since we
have no friends) of being pitied by our enemies; at least, if our
enemies were of such a kind, as to be capable of any regard towards us
except of hatred and contempt.
Forty years are now passed since the Revolution, when the contention of
the British Empire was, most unfortunately for us, and altogether
against the usual course of such mighty changes in government, decided
in the least important nation; but with such ravages and ruin executed
on both sides, as to leave the kingdom a desert, which in some sort it
still continues. Neither did the long rebellions in 1641, make half such
a destruction of houses, plantations, and personal wealth, in both
kingdoms, as two years campaigns did in ours, by fighting England's
battles.
By slow degrees, and by the gentle treatment we received under two
auspicious reigns,[41] we grew able to live without running in debt. Our
absentees were but few: we had great indulgence in trade, a considerable
share in employments of church and state; and while the short leases
continued, which were let some years after the war ended, tenants paid
their rents with ease and cheerfulness, to the great regret of their
landlords, who had taken up a spirit of oppression that is not easily
removed. And although, in these short leases, the rent was gradually to
increase after short periods, yet, as soon as the terms elapsed, the
land was let to the highest bidder, most commonly without the least
effectual clause for building or planting. Yet, by many advantages,
which this island then possessed, and hath since utterly lost, the rents
of lands still grew higher upon every lease that expired, till they have
arrived at the present exorbitance; when the frog, over-swelling
himself, burst at last.
With the price of land of necessity rose that of corn and cattle, and
all other commodities that farmers deal in: hence likewise, obviously,
the rates of all goods and manufactures among shopkeepers, the wages of
servants, and hire of labourers. But although our miseries came on fast,
with neither trade nor money left; yet neither will the landlord abate
in his rent, nor can the tenant abate in the price of what that rent
must be paid with, nor any shopkeeper, tradesman, or labourer live, at
lower expense for food and clothing, than he did before.
I have been the larger upon this first head, because the same
observations will clear up and strengthen a good deal of what I shall
affirm upon the rest.
The second maxim of those who reason upon trade and government, is, to
assert that "Low interest is a certain sign of great plenty of money in
a nation," for which, as in many other articles, they produce the
examples of Holland and England. But, with relation to Ireland, this
maxim is likewise entirely false.
There are two reasons for the lowness of interest in any country. First,
that which is usually alleged, the great plenty of species; and this is
obvious. The second is, the want of trade, which seldom falls under
common observation, although it be equally true: for, where trade is
altogether discouraged, there are few borrowers. In those countries
where men can employ a large stock, the young merchant, whose fortune
may be four or five hundred pounds, will venture to borrow as much more,
and can afford a reasonable interest. Neither is it easy, at this day,
to find many of those, whose business reaches to employ even so
inconsiderable a sum, except among the importers of wine, who, as they
have most part of the present trade in these parts of Ireland in their
hands, so they are the most exorbitant, exacting, fraudulent dealers,
that ever trafficked in any nation, and are making all possible speed to
ruin both themselves and the nation.
From this defect of gentlemen's not knowing how to dispose of their
ready money, ariseth the high purchase of lands, which in all other
countries is reckoned a sign of wealth. For, the frugal squires, who
live below their incomes, have no other way to dispose of their savings
but by mortgage or purchase, by which the rates of land must naturally
increase; and if this trade continues long, under the uncertainty of
rents, the landed men of ready money will find it more for their
advantage to send their cash to England, and place it in the funds;
which I myself am determined to do, the first considerable sum I shall
be master of.
It hath likewise been a maxim among politicians, "That the great
increase of buildings in the metropolis, argues a flourishing state."
But this, I confess, hath been controlled from the example of London;
where, by the long and annual parliamentary session, such a number of
senators, with their families, friends, adherents, and expectants, draw
such prodigious numbers to that city, that the old hospitable custom of
lords and gentlemen living in their ancient seats among their tenants,
is almost lost in England; is laughed out of doors; insomuch that, in
the middle of summer, a legal House of Lords and Commons might be
brought in a few hours to London, from their country villas within
twelve miles round.