of it is powerful. It can give to writing either dignity (as in an
oration) or point (as in an epigram). Observe how many proverbs are in
balanced structure. "Seeing is believing.--Nothing venture, nothing
have.--For every grain of wit there is a grain of folly.--You cannot do
wrong without suffering wrong.--An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth."
Note the effective use of balance in Emerson's _Essays_, particularly in
_Compensation_; and in the Old Testament, particularly in _Psalms_ and
_Proverbs_.
Exercise:
1. Machinery is of course labor-saving, but countless men are
thrown out of work.
2. There is a difference between success in business and in
acquiring culture.
3. I attend concerts for the pleasure of it, and to get an
understanding of music.
4. The stag in the fable admired his horns and blamed his feet;
but when the hunter came, his feet saved him, and afterward,
caught in the thicket, he was destroyed by his horns.
5. We do not see the stars at evening, sometimes because there
are clouds intervening, but oftener because there are
glimmerings of light; thus many truths escape us from the
obscurity we stand in, and many more from the state of mind
which induces us to sit down satisfied with our imaginations
and of our knowledge unsuspicious. [This sentence is correctly
balanced, except at the end.]
=The Weak Effect of the Passive Voice=
=46. Use the active voice unless there is a reason for doing otherwise.
The passive voice is, as the name implies, not emphatic.=
Weak: Your gift is appreciated by me.
Better: I appreciate your gift.
Weak and vague: His step on the porch was heard.
Better: His step sounded on the porch. [Or] I heard his step on
the porch.
The passive voice is especially objectionable when by failing to
indicate the agent of the verb it unnecessarily mystifies the reader.
Vague: The train was seen speeding toward us.
Better: We saw the train speeding toward us.
Exercise:
1. Their minds were changed frequently as to what profession
should be taken up by them.
2. A gun should be examined and oiled well before a hunter
starts.
3. Finally the serenaders were recognized.
4. In athletics a man is developed physically.
5. If a man uses slang constantly, a good impression is not
made.
=Effective Repetition=
=47a. The simplest and most natural way to emphasize a word or an idea is
to repeat it.= The Bible is the best standard of simplicity and dignity
in our language, and the Bible uses repetition constantly. A word or
idea that is repeated must, of course, be important enough to deserve
emphasis.
Fairly emphatic: He works and toils and labors, but he seems
never to get anywhere.
Very emphatic: Work, work, work, all he does is work, and still
he seems never to get anywhere.
Fairly emphatic: How did the general meet this new menace? He
withdrew before it!
Very emphatic: How did the general meet this new menace? He
withdrew! He retreated! He ran away!
Homely but emphatic: "I went under," said the old salt; "bows,
gunnels, and starn--all under."
Deliberately too emphatic: Everywhere we hear of
efficiency--efficiency experts, efficiency bureaus, efficiency
methods, in the office, in the school, in the home--until one
longs to fly to some savage island beyond the reach of inhuman
modern science.
=b. Not only words, but an entire grammatical structure may be repeated
on a large scale for emphasis.=
Weak: We hope that this shipment will reach you in good
condition, and that you will favor us with other orders in the
future, which will be given prompt and courteous attention.
[This sentence is flimsy and spineless because the writer had a
timid reluctance to repeat.]
Strong: We hope that this shipment will reach you in good
condition. We believe that the quality of our goods will induce
you to send us a second order. We assure you that such an order
will receive prompt and courteous attention. [Note the emphasis
derived from the resolute march of the expressions _We hope_,
_We believe_, _We assure_.]
Emphatic: Through the patience, the courage, the high character
of Alfred the country was saved--saved from the rapacities of
fortune, saved from the malignancy of its enemies, saved from
the sluggish despair of the people of England themselves.
Emphatic and natural: This corner of the garden was my first
playground. Here I made my first toddling effort to walk. Here
on the soft grass I learned the delight of out-of-doors. Here I
became acquainted with the bull-frog, and the bumble-bee, and
the neighbor's dog.
Emphatic and delightful: He maketh me to lie down in green
pastures; he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth
my soul; he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his
name's sake.
Exercise:
1. He kept digging away for gold through long years.
2. Breaking against the shore, came innumerable waves.
3. Sand, sagebrush, shimmering flat horizon. I could not endure
the barren monotony of the desert.
4. We want you to come and visit us, and bring along a good
appetite and your customary high spirits. Plan to stay a long
time.
5. 'Twas bitter cold outside. The cat meowed until I had to let
her in.
=Offensive Repetition=
Careless repetition attracts attention to words that do not need
emphasis. It is extremely annoying to the reader.
=48a. Unless a word or phrase is repeated deliberately to gain force or
clearness, its repetition is a blunder. Get rid of recurring expressions
in one of three ways: (1) by substituting equivalent expressions, (2) by
using pronouns more liberally, (3) by rearranging the sentence so as to
say once what has awkwardly been said twice.= Each of these schemes is
illustrated below.
=1.= Repetition cured by the use of equivalent expressions (synonyms).
Bad: _Just_ as we were half way down the lake, _just_ off
Milwaukee, we _began_ to feel a slight motion of the ship and
the _wind began_ to freshen. The _wind began_ to blow more
fiercely from the south and the waves _began_ to leap high. The
boat _began_ to pitch and roll.
Right: _Just_ as we were half way down the lake, _opposite_
Milwaukee, we began to feel a slight motion of the ship, for
the wind _had_ freshened. Before long _a gale_, _blowing_ from
the south, _kicked up a heavy sea and caused_ the boat to pitch
and roll. [Notice how combining the last two sentences helps to
solve the problem of the last _began_, besides giving firmer
texture to the construction.]
=2.= Repetition cured by the use of pronouns. (In using this method, one
should take care that the reference of the pronouns is clear.)
Bad: The _Law Building_, the _Commerce Building_, and the
_Science Building_ are close together. The _Commerce Building_
is south of the _Law Building_, and the _Science Building_ is
south of the _Commerce Building_. The _Law Building_ is old and
dilapidated. The _Commerce Building_ is a red brick _building_,
trimmed in terra-cotta. The _Science Building_ resembles the
_Commerce Building_.
Right: The Law, Commerce, and Science Buildings are close
together in a row. _The first of these_ is old and dilapidated.
South of it stands the Commerce Building, _which_, because of
_its_ red brick and terra-cotta trimmings, somewhat resembles
the Science Building.
=3.= Repetition cured by rearranging and condensing.
Bad: The _autumn_ is my favorite of all the _seasons_. While
_autumn_ in the _city_ is not such a pleasant _season_ as
_autumn_ in the country, yet even in the _city_ my preference
will always be for the _autumn_.
Right: My favorite season is autumn. I like it best in the
country, but even in the city it is the best time of the year.
=b. Avoid a monotonous repetition of sentence structure. To give variety
to successive sentences: (1) vary the length, (2) vary the beginnings,
(3) avoid a series of similar compound sentences, (4) interchange loose
with periodic structure, (5) use rhetorical question, exclamation,
direct discourse, (6) avoid an excessive use of participles or
adjectives.=
=1.= Vary the length of sentences.
Bad: Walter came up the path carrying Betty in his arms. She
was wet from head to toe. Damp curls clung to her pale face.
Water dripped from her clothes. One hand hung loosely over
Walter's arm. The other held a live duckling. She had saved
the little duck from drowning. This was Betty's first day in
the country.
Right: Walter came up the path carrying Betty in his
arms--little Betty who was spending her first day in the
country. She was wet from head to toe; damp curls clung to her
pale face, and water dripped from her clothes. In one hand she
held a live duckling. Her face lighted with courage as she told
how she jumped into the pond and saved the little duck from
drowning.
=2.= Vary the beginnings of sentences. Do not allow too many sentences to
begin with the subject, or with a time clause, or with a participle, or
with _so_. When you have finished a composition, rapidly read over the
opening words of each sentence, to see if there is sufficient variety.
Bad [too many sentences begin directly with the subject]: Our
way is circuitous. A sharp turn brings us round a rocky point.
The road drops suddenly into a little valley. The roof of a
house appears in a grove of trees below. A cottage is there and
a flower garden. An old-fashioned well is near the door.
Right: Presently, on our circuitous way, we make a sharp turn
round a rocky point. Before us the road drops suddenly into a
little valley. In a grove of trees below appears the roof of a
house, and as we draw nearer we see a cottage surrounded by
flowers. Nothing could be more attractive to a weary traveler
than the old-fashioned well near the door.
=3.= Avoid a series of similar compound sentences, especially those of two
parts of equal length, joined by _and_ or _but_.
Bad: Ring was a sheep dog, and tended the flock with his
master. One day there came a deep snow, and the flock did not
return. They found the herder frozen stiff, and the dog
shivering beside him.
Right: Ring was a sheep dog, and tended the flock with his
master. One day there came a deep snow. When the flock failed
to return, the men became uneasy, and began to search. They
found the herder frozen stiff, with the dog shivering beside
him.
=4.= Change occasionally from loose to periodic or balanced structure (See
43 and 45).
Monotonous: I stood at the foot of Tunbridge hill. I saw on the
horizon a dense wood, which, in the evening sunlight, was
veiled in purple haze [Loose]. On the left was the village, the
houses appearing like specks in the distance [Loose]. Nearer on
the right was the creek, winding through the willows [Loose].
The creek approached nearer until it reached the dam, over
which it rushed tumultuously [Loose]. Near by was a thicket of
tall trees, through which I could see the white tents of my
fellow campers, and their glowing camp fires [Loose].
Right: Far south from Tunbridge hill, on the dim horizon, I
saw, veiled in the evening haze, a dense wood [Periodic, long,
conveying the idea of distance better than a loose sentence].
On my left stood the village, the houses like specks; on my
right wound the creek, nearer and nearer through the willows
[Balanced]. The creek advanced by slow sinuous turns, until,
reaching the dam, it plunged over tumultuously [Loose]. Through
a thicket of tall trees, near at hand, I could see the white
tents of my fellow campers, and their glowing camp fires
[Periodic through the middle of the sentence; then loose].
=5.= Use question, exclamation, direct quotation.
Somewhat flat: He asked me the road to Camden. I did not know.
I told him to ask Thurber, who knew the country well.
Better: He asked me the road to Camden. The road to Camden? How
should I know? "Ask Thurber," I said impatiently; "he knows
this country. I'm a stranger."
=6.= Avoid an excessive use of participles. Do not pile adjectives around
every noun. Above all, do not form a habit of using adjectives in pairs
or triplets.
Bad: Sitting by the window, I saw a sharp, dazzling flash of
lightning, and heard a loud rumbling crash of heavy thunder,
warning me of the coming of the storm. Darting across the gray,
leaden sky, the quick, jagged lightning flashed incessantly.
The tall stately poplar trees thrashed around in the boisterous
wind. Then across the window, like a great white curtain, swept
the streaming, blinding rain.
Right: I sat by the window. Suddenly a sharp flash of lightning
and a roll of thunder gave warning of the approach of a storm.
Soon lightning zig-zagged across the sky incessantly. The wind
huddled the poplar trees. Then like a white curtain across the
window streamed the rain.
Exercise:
1. The parts of the tables are not put together at the factory,
but the different parts are shipped in different shipments.
2. In order to convince the reader that the present management
of farms is inefficient, I shall give some examples of
efficiency in the farm management on some farms with which I am
acquainted.
3. When one wishes to learn how to swim one must first become
accustomed to the water. The best way to become accustomed to
the water is to go into it frequently. After one has become
accustomed to the water he may begin to learn the strokes.
4. _The Life of Sir Walter Scott_, written by J. G. Lockhart,
is an interesting biography of this great writer. It consists
of a short biography by Scott himself, and also consists of a
continuation of this biography by his son-in-law, J. G.
Lockhart.
5. If a piece of steel is kept hot for several seconds, it will
lose some of its hardness. If kept hot longer, it will lose
more of its hardness. Along with losing its hardness it will
lose its brittleness. If the piece of steel is heated
continually it will lose nearly all its hardness and
brittleness. In other words, it will lose its "temper."
=49.= EXERCISE IN EMPHASIS
=A. Lack of Emphasis in General=
Make the following sentences emphatic.
1. The man is a thief who fails in business but continues to
live in luxury.
2. The plant was withered and dry, not having been watered for
over a week.
3. Much time is saved in Chicago by taking the elevated cars,
if you have a great distance to travel.
4. The clock struck eleven, when he immediately seized his hat
and left.
5. These liberal terms should be taken advantage of by us.
6. The study of biology has proved very interesting, as far as
I have gone.
7. Who is this that comes to the foot of the guillotine,
crouching, trembling?
8. They must pay the penalty. Their death is necessary. They
have caused harm enough.
9. I intend to get up fifteen minutes earlier, thereby giving
myself time to eat a good breakfast.
10. The book was reread several times, for I never grew tired
of it.
11. "What is the aim of a university education?" the speaker
asked.
12. A bicycle is sometimes ridden when a tire contains no air,
total ruin resulting from the weight of the rim upon the flat
tire.
13. He sprang forward the instant the pistol cracked, since the
start of a sprint is very important, and one cannot overdo the
practicing of it.
14. Sometimes the fuses fail to burn, or burn too fast, causing
an explosion before the workmen are prepared for it.
15. How father made soap was always a mystery to me. Cracklings
saved from butchering time, lye, and water went into the kettle
on a warm spring day and came out in the form of soap a few
hours later, to my great astonishment.
=B. Loose or Unemphatic Structure=
Make the following sentences more emphatic by throwing them into
periodic form.
1. It was Tom, as I had expected.
2. I will not tell, no matter how you beg.
3. The supremacy of the old river steamboat is gone forever,
unless conditions should be utterly changed.
4. Across the desert he traveled alone, and over strange seas,
and through quaint foreign villages.
5. The hot water dissolves the glue in the muresco, making the
mixture more easily applied.
6. Visions of rich meadows and harvest-laden fields now pass
before my eyes, as I sit by the fire.
7. Some of the women were weeping bitterly, thinking they would
never see their homes again.
8. I splashed along on foot for three miles after night in a
driving rain.
9. Very high rent is demanded, thus keeping the peasants
constantly in debt.
10. Roderigo was in despair because he had been rejected by
Desdemona, and was ready to end his life, by the time Iago
entered.
11. Through storm and cold the open boat was brought to the
shore at last, after toil and suffering, with great difficulty.
12. The car came to a violent stop against a rock pile, after
it demolished two fences, upset a hen-house, and scared a pig
out of his wits.
13. The Panama Canal is the fulfilment of the dreams of old
Spanish adventurers, the desires of later merchant princes,
and the demand of modern nations for free traffic on the seas.
14. The fiddle yelled, and the feet of the dancers beat the
floor, and the spectators applauded, and the room fairly rang.
15. The man with the best character, not the man with most
money, will come out on top in the end.
=C. Faulty Repetition=
Repetition in the following sentences is objectionable, because it
attracts attention to words or constructions that do not need to be
emphasized. Improve the sentences, avoiding unnecessary repetition.
1. He is a great friend of boys, and views things from the
boys' point of view.
2. In the case of the strike at Lawrence, Massachusetts, the
real cause was low wages caused by immigration and child labor.
3. First, a subject must be chosen, and in choosing a subject,
choose one that you know something about.
4. There are great opportunities in the field of science, and a
scientist who makes a mark in the world of science makes a mark
for himself everywhere.
5. While the practical man is learning skill in the practical
world, the college man is attaining a development of mentality
that will surpass that of the practical man when the college
man learns the skill of the practical man.
6. The field is dragged and rolled. Dragging and rolling leaves
the ground smooth and ready for planting.
7. A great number and variety of articles appears in every
issue. There is a complete review of each subject. It is
treated in a short, but thorough manner.
8. They gave me a hearty welcome. They stood back and looked at
me. They wanted to see if three months in the city had made any
changes in me. But they said it had not.
9. Engineering is looked upon by many students as an easy and
uninteresting study, but to my knowledge it is not
uninteresting and easy. Engineering is probably one of the
hardest courses in college. To me it is also the most
interesting.
10. A duck hunter should have a place to hunt where ducks are
frequently found in duck season. Ducks often light in the
backwater along a river, and in ponds. They are often found in
small lakes. Corn fields are common feeding places for ducks.
Ducks make regular trips to cornfields within reach of a body
of water such as a river or lake. It is their nature to spend
the night in the water, and in the morning and in the evening
they go out to the fields to feed.
GRAMMAR
=Case=
=50a. The subject of a verb is in the nominative case, even when the verb
is remote, or understood (not expressed).=
Wrong: They are as old as us.
Right: They are as old as we [are].
Wrong: He is taller than her.
Right: He is taller than she [is].
Note.--_Than_ and _as_ are conjunctions, not prepositions. When they are
followed by a pronoun merely, this pronoun is not their object, but part
of a clause the rest of which may be understood. The case of this
pronoun is determined by its relation to the rest of the unexpressed
clause. Sometimes the understood clause calls for the objective: "I like
his brother better than [I like] him." _Than whom_, though
ungrammatical, is sanctioned by usage.
=b. Guard against the improper attraction of _who_ into the objective
case by intervening expressions like _he says_.=
Wrong: The man whom they believed was the cause of the trouble
left the country. [_They believed_ is parenthetical, and the
subject of _was_ is _who_.]
Right: The man who they believed was the cause of the trouble
left the country.
Wrong: Whom do you suppose made us a visit?
Right: Who do you suppose made us a visit?
=Guard against the improper attraction of _who_ or _whoever_ into the
objective case by a preceding verb or preposition.=
Wrong: Punish whomever is guilty. [The pronoun is the subject
of _is_. The object of _punish_ is the entire clause _whoever
is guilty_.]
Right: Punish whoever is guilty.
Wrong: The mystery as to whom had rendered him this service
remained. [The pronoun is the subject of _had rendered_. The
object of the preposition is the entire clause _who had
rendered him this service_.]
Right: The mystery as to who had rendered him this service
remained.
=c. The predicate complement of the verb _to be_ (in any of its forms,
_is_, _was_, _were_, _be_, etc.) is in the nominative case.= _To be_
never takes an object, because it does not express action.
Wrong: Was it her? Was it them? It is me.
Right: Was it she? Was it they? Is it I.
Wrong: The happiest people there were him and his mother.
Right: The happiest people there were he and his mother.
=d. The object of a preposition or a verb is in the objective case.=
Wrong: Some of we fellows went fishing.
Right: Some of us fellows went fishing.
Wrong: That seems incredible to you and I.
Right: That seems incredible to you and me.
Wrong: Who did they detect?
Right: Whom did they detect?
=e. The "assumed" subject of an infinitive is in the objective case.=
Right: I wanted him to go. [_Him to go_ is the group object of
the verb _wanted_. _To go_, being an infinitive, cannot assert
an action, and consequently cannot take a subject. But _to go_
implies that something is at least capable of action. _Him_ is
the latent or assumed subject of the action implied in _to
go_.]
Right: _Whom_ do you wish _to be_ your leader? [_Whom_ is the
assumed subject of the infinitive _to be_.]
=f. A noun or pronoun used to express possession is in the possessive
case.= Do not omit the apostrophe (See 97) from nouns, or from the
pronouns _one's_ and _other's_. Most of the other possessive
pronouns do not require an apostrophe.
Right: The man's hair is gray.
Right: The machine does its work well. [_It's_ would mean _it
is_.]
Right: One should do one's duty.
=g. A noun or pronoun linked with a gerund should be in the possessive
case whenever the use of the objective case might cause confusion.=
Faulty: Is there any criticism of Arthur going?
Right: Is there any criticism of Arthur's going?
Right: I had not heard of his being sick.
Right, but slightly less desirable: I had not heard of him
being sick.
Note.--In other instances than those in which clearness is involved many
good writers use the objective case with the gerund. But even in these
instances most writers prefer the possessive case.
=h. It is usually awkward and slightly illogical to attribute possession
to inanimate objects.=
Awkward: The farm's management.
Better: The management of the farm.
Awkward: The stomach's lining.
Better: The lining of the stomach.
Note.--Usage justifies many exceptions, particularly (1) expressions
that involve time or measure, _a day's work_, _a hair's breadth_, _a
year's salary_, _a week's vacation_, _a cable's length_; and (2)
expressions that involve personification, explicit or implied, _Reason's
voice_, _the law's delay_, _for mercy's sake_, _the heart's desire_,
_the tempest's breath_.
=i. A pronoun agrees with its antecedent in person, gender, and number,
but not in case.=
Right: _I, who am_ older, know better.
Right: Tell _me, who am_ older, your trouble.
Right: Many a man has saved _himself_ by counsel.
Exercise:
1. I am as old as (he, him). They may be pluckier than (we,
us). Nobody is less conceited than (she, her).
2. He gave help to (whoever, whomever) wanted it. The girls
(who, whom) they say have the worst taste are on a committee to
select the class pin.
3. Four of (we, us) boys were left without a cent. That is a
good investment for her cousin and (she, her).
4. It was (he, him). It is (they, them). The sole occupants of
the car were his chum and (he, him).
5. I had not heard of (his, him) being sick. She does not
approve of (our, us) being late to dinner. (They, them) who
labor now the Master will reward.
=Number=
=51a. _Each_, _every_, _every one_, _everybody_, _anybody_, _either_,
_neither_, _no one_, _nobody_, and similar words are singular.=
Wrong: Everybody did their best.
Right: Everybody did his best.
Wrong: Each of my three friends were there.
Right: Each of my three friends was there.
Wrong: Either of the candidates are capable of making a good
officer.