differences between races, ( ) Taine says that it is.
5. She took the letter from me and read it slowly, ( ) her
eyes filled with tears.
=Repetition of Connective with a Gain in Clearness=
=37. Connectives that accompany a parallel series should be repeated when
clearness requires.=
Preposition to be repeated: He was regarded as a hero by all
who had known him at school, and especially his old school
mates.
Right: He was regarded as a hero _by_ all who had known him at
school, and especially _by_ his old school mates.
Sign of the infinitive to be repeated: He wishes to join with
those who love freedom and justice, and end needless suffering.
Right: He wishes _to_ join with those who love freedom and
justice, and _to_ end needless suffering.
Conjunction to be repeated: Since he was known to have
succeeded in earlier enterprises, though confronted by
difficulties that would have taxed the ability of older men,
and his powers were now acknowledged to be mature, he was put
in charge of the undertaking.
Right: _Since_ he was known to have succeeded in earlier
enterprises, though confronted by difficulties that would have
taxed the ability of older men, and _since_ his powers were now
acknowledged to be mature, he was put in charge of the
undertaking.
Conjunction to be repeated: He explained that the strikers
asked only a fair hearing, since their contentions were
misunderstood; were by no means in favor of the violent
measures to which the public had grown accustomed; and had no
desire to resort to bloodshed and the destruction of property.
Right: He explained _that_ the strikers asked only a fair
hearing, since their contentions were misunderstood; _that_
they were by no means in favor of the violent measures to which
the public had grown accustomed; and _that_ they had no desire
to resort to bloodshed and the destruction of property.
Exercise:
1. The place is often visited by fishermen who catch some
strange varieties of fish and especially summer tourists.
2. The worth of a man depends upon his character, not his
possessions. 3. He was delighted with that part of the city
which overlooked the harbor and bay, and especially the citadel
on the highest point.
4. Although he was so youthful in appearance that the
recruiting officer must have known he was under twenty-one, and
had not yet become a fully naturalized citizen, his effort to
enlist met with immediate success.
5. In the course of his speech he said that he was a foreigner,
he came to this country when he was fourteen years old, landing
in New York with his only possessions tied in a handkerchief,
went to work in an iron foundry, and after many years of toil
he found himself at the head of a great industry.
=Repetition of Connective with a Loss in Clearness=
=38. Do not complicate thought by persistent repetition of elements
beginning with _that_, _which_, _of_, _for_, or _but_, and NOT parallel
in structure.=
Complicated repetition of _that_: He gave a quarter to the boy
that brought the paper that printed the news that the war was
ended. [_That_, _which_, and _who_ are often used carelessly to
form a chain of subordinate clauses. Three successive
subordinations are all that a reader can possibly keep
straight; ordinarily a writer should not exceed two. But in
parallel structure (See 30 and 37) the number of _that_,
_which_, or _who_ clauses does not matter; a writer may
fill a page with them and not confuse the reader at all.]
Right: He gave the boy a quarter for bringing him the paper
with the news that the war was ended.
Complicated repetition of _of_: The East Side Civics Club is an
organization of helpers of the helpless of the lower classes of
the city.
Right: The East Side Civics Club is organized to help the
helpless poor of the city.
Complicated repetition of _for_: The general was dismayed, for
he had not expected resistance, for he had thought the power of
the enemy was shattered.
Right: The general was dismayed; he had not expected
resistance, for he had thought the power of the enemy was
shattered.
Complicated repetition of _but_: He was undoubtedly a brave
man, but now he was somewhat alarmed, but he would not turn
back.
Right: He was undoubtedly a brave man; though now somewhat
alarmed, he would not turn back. [Or] He was undoubtedly a
brave man. He was now somewhat alarmed, but he would not turn
back.
Note.--Guard against the _but_-habit. Frequent recurrence of _but_ makes
the reader's thought "tack" or change its course too often. There are
ways to avoid an excessive use of _but_ and _however_. When one wishes
to write about two things, A and B, which are opposed, he need not rush
back and forth from one idea to the other. Let him first say all he
wants to say about A. Then let him deliberately use the adversative
_but_, and proceed to the discussion of B. In the following paragraph on
"Whipping Children" the writer tries to be on both sides of the fence at
once.
Confusing: It is easier to punish a child for a misdeed, than
to explain and argue. _But_ the gentler method is better. _Yet_
we all admit that the birch must be used sometimes. _However_,
if it is used only for serious trangressions, the child will
have a sense of proportion regarding what offenses are grave.
_But_ for ordinary small misdemeanors I think we need a new
motto: Spoil the rod and spare the child.
Right: It is easier to punish a child for a misdeed than to
explain and argue. And of course we all admit that the birch
must be used sometimes. _But_ if it is used only for serious
transgressions, the child will have a sense of proportion
regarding what offenses are grave. For ordinary small
misdemeanors I think we need a new motto: Spoil the rod and
spare the child.
Exercise:
1. He did not agree at first, but hesitated for a time, but
finally said that he would go along.
2. Push down on the foot lever, which closes a switch which
starts an electric motor which turns the flywheel so that the
gasoline engine starts.
3. Apple dumplings are good, but they must be properly baked,
but fortunately this is not difficult to do.
4. The work of the course consists partly of the study of the
principles of grammar and of rhetoric, partly of the writing of
themes, partly of oral composition, and partly of the reading
and study of models of English prose.
5. The landscape which lay before me was one which was
different from any which I had ever seen before. There was one
thing which impressed me, and that was the miles and miles of
grass which stretched and undulated away from the hill on which
I stood.
=39.= EXERCISE IN CLEARNESS OF THOUGHT
=A. Parallel Structure=
Give parallel structure to elements which are parallel in thought.
1. Baskets are of practical value as well as being used for
ornaments.
2. The Book of Job ought to be interesting to a student, or for
anybody.
3. The important considerations are whether the soil is sandy,
and if it is well drained, and that it shall be easily
cultivated.
4. A flower garden is a source of profit--profit not measured
in money but in pleasure.
5. He was successful in business, and also attained success in
the political world.
6. Whether his object was writing for pastime, or to please a
friend, or money, we do not know.
7. Always praise your enemy, because if you whip him your glory
is increased, and if he whips you it lets you down easy.
8. Either the ship will sink in the rough sea or go to pieces
on the shore.
9. An athlete must possess strength, nerve, and be able to
think quickly.
10. We were interested in buying some dry-goods, and at the
same time see the sights of the great city.
11. Some people talk foolishness, and others on serious
subjects, and some keep still.
12. Not only she noticed my condition, but commented on it.
13. He abides by neither the laws of God nor man. He spoke both
to Harry and Tom.
14. It is good for the health of one's mind to get new ideas
every day, and expressing them clearly in writing.
15. Everyone who is capable of understanding the tax laws
should know them and how they are abused.
16. I began by making applications at federal, state, and city
employment bureaus for a position as cost accountant, salesman,
or clerical work.
17. The damage to the trunk was caused by rough handling and
not from faults in construction.
18. Pope, Swift, Addison, and Defoe were four satirists, but
differing greatly in their work.
19. The occupants of these buildings are engaged in various
kinds of business, namely: shoe-shining, shoe repair shops,
cleaning and pressing clothes, confectionery stores, and
restaurants.
20. I sing of geese: of the Biblical goose, that blew his bugle
from the roof of Noah's Ark; the classical goose that picked
his livelihood along the shores of the Ægean; of the
historical goose, that squawked to save old Rome; the mercenary
goose, laying the golden egg; and, finally, of the roast goose.
=B. Shift in Subject or Voice=
Rewrite the following sentences, avoiding all unnecessary shift in
construction.
1. After you decide on the plan of the house, your attention is
turned to the materials of construction.
2. Editors are careful to use words that are exact, yet simple,
and the use of technical terms is not generally considered to
be good.
3. Bank accounts should be balanced once a month in order that
you may know your exact standing.
4. We should have our athletic contest between the weakest
students, and in that way they will become physically strong.
5. When one is making a long-distance run, several cautions
should be borne in mind by him.
6. In melody the poem is good, but the author's ideas are
eccentric.
7. Lincoln's sentences are plain, blunt, and to the point. He
lacks the ornate eloquence of Jefferson.
8. The operator places a large shovelful of concrete in the
mold, and the mixture is made solid by tamping.
9. He might become angry, but it was over in a few minutes.
10. The pauper chanced to gain entrance to the royal palace,
and while there the young prince is met by him.
11. When the weather is hot, plowing is accomplished very
slowly with horses, while on the tractor the heat has no
effect.
12. First, one should mix one-half cup of corn syrup and one
cup of brown sugar; then one cup of cream and the flavoring are
added.
13. In the college situated in a small town there are
dormitories for the student, but in the cities they usually
room where they please.
14. An education should enable us to tell the valuable from
the cheap book, and by it we should be able to tell the true
from the counterfeit man.
15. Moisten the sand thoroughly and set the box in a warm
place, and in about a week's time it can readily be seen by the
way the grains have sprouted which ears of seed corn have
greatest vitality.
=C. Shift in Number, Person, or Tense=
Rewrite the following sentences, removing all inconsistency in
grammatical form.
1. Every one has a right to their own opinion.
2. Bryant rushed to the window and shouts at the postman.
3. The life of the honey bee has been studied, and their
activities found to be remarkable.
4. He says to me, "Are you ready?" And I answered, "No."
5. When a person keeps a store, you should remember the names
and faces of your customers.
6. An automobile is expensive, and they are liable to become an
elephant on your hands.
7. If one studies the market, he would find that prices rise
every year.
8. If one went to Europe, he will find everything different.
9. Since these tires were different in construction, the method
of repairing will vary.
10. Contentment is a state of mind in which one is satisfied
with themselves and their surroundings.
11. It is easy to catch 'possums if you can find the rascal.
12. The writer of a theme should not waste time on a long
introduction, and get to the facts of your subject as quickly
as possible.
13. Shakespeare's comedies are great fun. I prefer it to
tragedy.
14. Often a man will knock at the door, and finds no one at
home.
15. Too much attention will spoil a child. They should not be
entertained every minute.
=D. The Exact Connective=
Each of the following sentences contains an idea which is, or may be,
subordinate to another idea. (1) Decide what kind of subordinate
relation should exist between the ideas. (2) Determine what connective
best expresses this relation. (Consult 36 for a list of connectives.)
(3) Write the sentence as it should be.
1. Wealth is a good thing, while honest wealth is better.
2. Spend an hour in the open air every day when you want to
keep your health.
3. The rattlesnake gives warning and it is only afterward that
he strikes.
4. South Americans are our national neighbors, and we as a
nation should understand them.
5. The city man knows nothing about a cow, only that it has
horns.
6. He got up early in order that he might be able to see the
sunrise.
7. The tenderfoot saw the funnel-shaped cloud when he made for
a cyclone cellar.
8. Men fear what they do not understand, and a coward is one
who is ignorant.
9. Hinting did not influence her; then he tried scolding.
10. The valet spilled the wine, and the duke started up with an
oath.
11. While he writhed on the ground, he was not really hurt.
12. He will not cash the check without you indorse it.
13. We want this work done by the first of April, so please
send an estimate soon.
14. He had traveled everywhere, and he had a vivid recollection
of only three scenes: Niagara Falls, the Jungfrau, and Lake
Como.
15. I never hear him talk but he makes me angry.
16. Animals have some of the same feelings as human beings
have.
17. It was four o'clock and we decided to return and be home
for supper.
=E. Repetition of Connectives=
In the following sentences determine whether repetition is desirable or
undesirable, and change the sentences accordingly.
1. With the coming of meal time, the potatoes are removed from
the fire with a fork with a long handle.
2. His clothes were brushed and neat, but patched and
repatched. But still he could be bright and cheery.
3. To no other magazine do I look forward to the arrival of its
new issue, more than I do to the _World's Work_.
4. At the time the book was written, I believe Forster was
considered to be almost the best biographer living at that
time.
5. The freshman has no spirit until the sophomores have
provoked him until he resists until he finds that he has
spirit.
6. Some socialists are against the present system of
initiative, referendum, and recall, but advocate a system much
like it but applied in a different way.
7. The gun with which the Germans bombarded Paris with had a
range of seventy-five miles.
8. Basketball is a game that I have played for years, and I am
greatly interested in.
9. This is the lever which throws the switch which directs the
train that takes the track that goes to Boston.
10. Short talks were made by the captain, the coach, and by the
faculty.
11. At this school one can study to be a doctor, dentist,
farmer, a lawyer, or an engineer.
12. I like to cross the harbor on the ferry, to dodge in and
out among the ships, see the gulls dart among the waves, smell
the sharp tang of salty air, and to feel the rocking motion of
the boat.
13. In the sultry autumn, and when the winter's storms came,
and when in spring the winds whistled, and in the summer's
heat, he always wore the same old coat.
14. He knew that if he did not ignite the piece of wet bark
this time, that he could not dry his clothing or broil the
bacon.
15. The next speaker said that the need was critical, the
schools must be enlarged, and that the paving now begun must be
completed, and a new board of health should be created, that
the interest on past debts had to be paid, and the city
treasury was at this moment out of funds.
EMPHASIS
=Emphasis by Position=
=40. Reserve the emphatic positions in a sentence for important words or
ideas. (The emphatic positions are the beginning and the end--especially
the end.)=
Weak ending: Then like a flash a vivid memory of my uncle's
death came to me.
Weak: I demand the release of the prisoners, in the first
place.
Weak: This principle is one we cannot afford to accept, if my
understanding of the question is correct.
Place the important idea at the end. Secure, if possible, an emphatic
beginning. "Tuck in" unimportant modifiers.
Emphatic: Like a flash came to me a vivid memory of my uncle's
death.
Emphatic: I demand, in the first place, the release of the
prisoners.
Emphatic: This principle, if my understanding of the question
is correct, is one we cannot afford to accept.
Exercise:
1. "War is inevitable," he said.
2. The cat had been poisoned to all appearances.
3. There are several methods of learning to swim, as everyone
knows.
4. A liar is as bad as a thief, in my estimation.
5. He saw a fight below him in the street, happening to look
out of the window.
=Emphasis by Separation=
=41. An idea which needs much emphasis may be detached, and allowed to
stand in a sentence by itself.=
Faulty: The flames were by this time beyond control, and the
walls collapsed, and several firemen were hurt. [The ideas here
are too important to be run together in one sentence.]
Right: By this time the flames were beyond control, and the
walls collapsed. Several firemen were hurt.
A quotation gains emphasis when it is separated from what follows.
Faulty: "The best laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft a-gley,"
are some lines from Burns which McDonald was always quoting.
Right: "The best laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft a-gley."
McDonald was always quoting these lines from Burns.
Direct discourse is more emphatic when it is separated from explanatory
phrases, particularly from those which follow.
Faulty: Mosher leaped to the stage and shouted defiantly, "I
will never consent to that!" and he looked as if he meant what
he said.
Right: Mosher leaped to the stage and shouted his defiance: "I
will never agree to that!" And he looked as if he meant what he
said.
Exercise:
1. After the tents are pitched, the beds made, and the fires
started, the first meal is cooked and served, and this meal is
the beginning of camp-life joy.
2. He tried to make his wife vote for his own, the Citizen's
Party, but she firmly refused.
3. At the word of command the dog rushed forward; the covey
rose with a mighty whir, and the hunter fired both barrels, and
the dog looked in vain for a dead bird, and then returned
disconsolate.
4. I sat and gazed at the motto, "Aim high, and believe
yourself capable of great things," which my mother had placed
there for me.
5. "A Book of Verses underneath the Bough,
A Jug of Wine, a Loaf of Bread, and Thou
Beside me singing in the Wilderness."
were the four things Omar Khayyam wanted to make him happy.
=Emphasis by Subordination=
=42. Do not place the important idea of a sentence in a subordinate
clause or phrase. Make the important idea grammatically independent. If
possible, subordinate the rest of the sentence to it.=
Faulty: He had a manner which made me angry.
Faulty: The fire spread to the third story, when the house was
doomed.
Faulty: For years the Indians molested the white people,
thereby causing the settlers to want revenge.
The important idea should not be placed in a _which_ clause, or a _when_
clause, or a participial phrase.
Right: His manner made me angry.
Right: When the fire spread to the third story, the house was
doomed.
Right: Years of molestation by the Indians made the white men
want revenge.
Exercise:
1. I was riding on the train, when suddenly there was an
accident.
2. There are two windows in each bedroom, thus insuring good
ventilation.
3. Yonder is the house which is my home.
4. He saw that argument was useless, so he let her talk.
5. His clothes were very old, making him look like a tramp.
=The Periodic Sentence=
A sentence is periodic when the completion of the main thought is
delayed until the end. This delay creates a feeling of suspense. A
periodic sentence is doubly emphatic: it has emphasis by position
because the important idea comes at the end; it has emphasis by
subordination because all ideas except the last one are grammatically
dependent.
=43. To give emphasis to a loosely constructed sentence, turn it into
periodic form.=
Loose: I saw two men fight a duel, many years ago, on a moonlit
summer night, in a little village in northern France. [What is
most important, the time? the place? or the actual duel? Place
the important idea last.]
Periodic: Many years ago, on a moonlit summer night, in a
little village in northern France, I saw two men fight a duel.
Loose: We left Yellowstone Gateway for the ride of our lives in
a six-horse tally-ho. [Place the important idea last, _and make
all other ideas grammatically subordinate_.]
Periodic: Leaving Yellowstone Gateway in a six-horse tally-ho,
we had the ride of our lives.
Loose: The river was swollen with incessant rain, and it swept
away the dam. [Which is the important idea? Why not make it
appear more important by subordinating everything to it?]
Periodic: The river, swollen with incessant rain, swept away
the dam.
Loose: War means to have our pursuit of knowledge and happiness
rudely broken off, to feel the sting of death and bereavement,
to saddle future generations with a burden of debt and national
hatred.
Periodic: To have our pursuit of knowledge and happiness rudely
broken off, to feel the sting of death and bereavement, to
saddle future generations with a burden of debt and national
hatred--this is war.
Exercise:
1. I am happy when the spring comes, when the sun is warm, when
the fields revive.
2. He cares nothing for culture, for justice, for progress.
3. As the boat gathered speed, the golden sun was setting far
across the harbor.
4. He amassed a great fortune, standing there behind his dingy
counter, discounting bills, pinching coins, buying cheap and
selling dear.
5. The shattered aqueducts, pier beyond pier, melt into the
darkness, from the plains to the mountains.
=Order of Climax=
=44. In a series of words, phrases, or clauses of noticeable difference
in strength, use the order of climax.=
Wrong order: He was insolent and lazy.
Weak ending: Literature has expanded into a sea, where before
it was only a small stream.
Weak ending: As we listened to his story we felt the sordid
misery and the peril and fear of war.
Emphatic: He was lazy and insolent.
Emphatic: The stream of literature has swollen into a torrent,
expanded into a sea.
Emphatic: As we listened to his story we felt the fear, the
peril, the sordid misery of war.
Exercise:
1. We boarded the train, after having bought our tickets and
checked our baggage.
2. War brings famine, death, disease after it.
3. They have broken up our homes, enslaved our children, and
stolen our property.
4. In the old story, the drunken man, carried into the duke's
palace, sees himself surrounded with luxury, and imagines
himself a true prince, after waking up.
5. The becalmed mariners were famished, hungry.
=The Balanced Sentence=
=45. Two ideas similar or opposite in thought gain in emphasis when set
off, one against the other, in similar constructions.=
Weak and straggling: This paper, like many others, has many bad
features, but in some ways it is very good. The news articles
are far better than the editorials, which are feeble.
Balanced structure: This paper is in some respects good; in
other respects very poor. The news articles are impressive, the
editorials are feeble.
Weak and complicated: From the East a man who lives in the West
can learn a great deal, and an Easterner ought to be able to
understand the West.
Balanced: A Westerner can learn much from the East, and an
Easterner needs to understand the West.
Weak: Both Mill and Macaulay influenced the younger writers.
Mill taught some of them to reason, but many more of them
learned from Macaulay only a superficial eloquence.
Balanced: Both Mill and Macaulay influenced the younger
writers. If Mill taught some of them to reason, Macaulay
tempted many more of them to declaim.