Now must the mother somehow make her days full to ease the fears she
had and to forget the emptiness where once the blind maid had sat.
Silent the house seemed and silent the street where she could not
hear the clear plaintive sound of the small bell her daughter struck
whenever she went out. And the mother could not bear it. She went to
the land again, against her elder son’s will, and when he saw her take
her hoe he said, “Mother, you need not work, it shames me to have you
work in the field and others see you there when you are aged.”
But she said with her old anger, “I am not so aged--let me work to ease
myself. Do you not see how I must ease myself?”
Then the man answered in his stubborn way, “To me you seem to grieve
for what is not so, my mother, and there is no need to let your heart
run ahead into evils that may never come.”
But the mother answered with a sort of heavy listlessness that did not
leave her nowadays, “You do not understand. You who are young--you
understand nothing at all.”
The young man looked dazed at his mother then, not knowing what she
meant, but she would say no more, but went and took a hoe and plodded
out across the fields in silence.
But it was true she could not work hard any more, for when she did her
sweat poured out, and when the wind blew on her, even a warm wind, it
sent a chill upon her and she was soon ill again with her flux. So must
she bear her idleness and she worked no more when she was well again,
but sat in the doorway idle. There was no need for her to lift her hand
about the house, since the son’s wife did all and did all well and
carefully.
She did all well, the mother thought unwillingly, except she bore no
child. The mother sitting empty there looked restlessly about that
threshold where once she had been wont to see her little children
tumbling in their play, and all day long she sat and remembered the
days gone, and how once she had sat so young and filled with life and
work, her man there, her babes, she the young wife and another the old
mother. Then her man was gone and never heard from--and she winced and
turned her mind from that, and then she thought how empty it seemed
now, the elder son in the field all day or bickering at harvest with
the landlord’s agent, some new fellow, a little weazened cousin of the
landlord’s, people said--she never looked at him--and her blind maid
gone, and her younger son gone always in the town and seldom home.
Well, but there was her younger son, and as she sat she thought of him
more often, for she loved him still the best of all her children. Into
her emptiness he came now and then, and with his coming brought her
only brightness. When he came she rose and came out of her bleakness
and smiled to see his good looks. He was the fairest child she had, as
like his father as a cockerel is like a cock who fathered him, and he
came in at ease nowadays, and not fearing his elder brother as once he
did, for he had some sort of work in town that brought him in a wage.
Now what this work was he never clearly said, except that it brought
him in so well that sometimes he had a heap of money, and sometimes he
had none, although he never showed this money to his brother, except
in the good clothes he wore. But there were times when he was free and
filled with some excitement and then he pressed a bit of silver into
his mother’s hand secretly and said, “Take it, mother, and use it for
yourself.”
Then the mother took the silver and praised the lad and loved him, for
the elder son never thought to put a bit of money in her hand; since he
had been master he kept all his silver for his own. Well fed she always
was and she ate heartily as she was able for she loved her food, and
better than she had ever been she was with this son’s wife to clothe
her and make all she needed, and even her burial garments were made and
ready for her, though she did not think to die yet for a long time.
Anything she asked for they let her have, a pipe to comfort her, and
good shredded tobacco and a sup of yellow wine made hot. But they did
not think to put a bit of silver in her hand and say, “Use it for any
little thing you wish,” and she knew, if she had asked for it the son
and his wife would look at each other and say, one or the other of
them, “But what would you buy--do we not give you everything?” So when
the younger son brought her the bit of silver she loved him for it more
than all else the other two did for her, and she kept it in her bosom
and when the night came she rose and hid it in the hole.
But still he was not often where she could see him and there upon the
empty threshing-floor the two women sat, mother and son’s wife, and
to the mother it seemed all the house was full of emptiness. She sat
and sighed and smoked her pipe and all she had to do these days was
to think of her life, or nearly all, for there was that one thing she
would not think of willingly, and when she did it brought her blind
maid to her mind and she never could be sure the two were not linked
somehow in the hands of the gods. Sometimes she would have gone to
some temple to seek a comfort of some sort, though what she did not
know, but there was the old sin and it seemed late now to seek for
forgiveness and she let it be and sighed and spoke of her blind maid
sadly sometimes.
But if she did the son’s wife answered always sharply, “She does well,
doubtless--a very lucky thing for all that you found one who would have
her for his son.”
“Now she is a clever maid, too, daughter-in-law,” the mother said
hotly. “You never would believe how much she could do, I know, but
before you came she did much that when you came you would not let her
do and so you never knew how well she did.”
“Aye, it may be so,” said the son’s wife, holding nearer to her eyes
the cloth she sewed on to see if it were right. “But I am used to
working on and finishing with what I do and a blind maid potters so.”
The mother sighed again and said, looking over the empty threshold,
“I wish you would bear a babe, daughter. A house should have a child
or two or three in it. I am not used to such an empty house as this.
I wish my little son could wed if you are not to have a child, but he
will not, somehow, for some reason.”
Now here was the young wife’s grief, that though she had been wed near
upon five years she had no child yet and not a sign of one, and she had
gone secretly to a temple to pray and had done all she knew and still
her body stayed as barren as it had been. But she was too proud to show
how grieved she was and now she said, calmly, “I will have sons in
time, doubtless.”
“Aye, but it is time,” the mother said pettishly. “I never heard of
any women in our hamlet who had not babes if they had husbands. Our
men are fathers as soon as they mate themselves and the women always
fertile--good seed, good soil. It must be you have some hidden illness
in you somewhere to make you barren and unnatural. I made you those
clothes full and big, and what use has it been!”
And to the cousin’s wife the mother complained, and she said, leaning
to put her mouth against the other’s ear, “I know very well what is
wrong--there are no heats in that son’s wife of mine. She is a pale
and yellow thing and one day is like the next and there is never any
good flush in her from within, and all your luck in cutting her wedding
garments cannot prevail against her coldness.”
And the cousin’s wife nodded and laughed and said, “It is true enough
that such pale and bloodless women are very slow to bear.” Then her
little laughing eyes grew meaningful and she laughed again and said,
“But not every woman can be so full of heats as you were in your time,
good sister, and well you know it is not always a good thing in a
woman!”
Then the mother answered hastily, “Oh, aye, I know that--” and fell
silent for a time and then after a while she said unwillingly, “It is
true she is a careful woman, clean and almost too clean and scraping
out the pot so often I swear she wastes the food with so much washing
of the oil jar and the like. And she washes herself every little time
or so, and it may be this is why she goes barren. Too much washing is
not always well.”
But she spoke no more of heats, for she feared to have the cousin’s
wife bring up again that old ill done, although the cousin’s wife was
the kindest soul and never all these years had made a difference of it,
and if she had even told her man then the mother never knew she did. If
it had not been for these two sorrows that she had, the blind maid and
that her son had no sons, she might have forgotten it herself, so far
away the days of her flesh seemed now. Yes, she might have forgotten
it if she had not feared it had been sin and these two sorrows the
punishment for it.
But there her life was, and the maid was blind and gone now and there
was no child, and only the beasts about and the dog and even these she
dared not feed.
There was only this good thing nowadays, she thought, and it was that
her two sons did not quarrel so much. The elder was satisfied and
master in the house, and the younger had his own place somewhere, and
when he came home and went away again, the most the elder son did was
to say with feeble scorn, “I wonder where my brother gets those good
clothes he wears and what the work is that he does. I cannot wear
clothes like his and I work bitterly. He seems to have money somehow. I
hope he is not in some band of town thieves or something that will drag
us into trouble if he is caught.”
Then the mother flew up bravely as she always did for her little son
and she said, “A very good younger brother, my son, and you should
praise him and be glad he has gone and found a thing to do for himself
and not stayed here to share the land with you!”
And the elder son said sneeringly, “Oh, aye, he would do anything I
swear to keep from labor on the land.”
But the son’s wife said nothing. She was pleased these days because the
house was all her own and it was naught to her what the young man did,
and she did not complain because he bought his clothes elsewhere now
and she needed not to make them for him.
* * * * *
So the time went on and spring came and passed and early summer came
and still the mother never could forget her maid. One day she sat
counting on her fingers the days since that one when she saw the hill
cut the maid off from her sight, and it was more than twelve times
all the fingers on her hands and then she lost the count, and so she
thought sadly, “I must go to her. I have let this old heaviness weigh
on me and I ought to have gone before. If she had been a sound maid
she would have come by now to pay the visit that wives do to their old
homes, and I could have asked her how she did and felt her hands and
arms and cheeks and seen the color of her face.”
And the mother sat and looked at those hills around and saw how the
summer came on to its full height and every hillside was green and all
the grain high in the fields, and she forced her body that was weary
always now even though she was idle all the livelong day, and she
thought, “I must go and see my maid and I will go at once, seeing I am
not needed on the land and here I sit idle. I will go and before the
great heat comes, lest my flux drop on me again unaware. Yes--I will
go this very tomorrow since there is no sign of cloud in this fair
sky--this blue sky--” she looked up at the sky and saw how blue it was
and remembered suddenly as she did nowadays some bit of her life long
gone, and she remembered the blue robe her man had bought once and that
he wore away and she sighed and thought with some dim old pang, “On
such a day as this he bought the robe and we quarreled--on just such a
fair day, for I remember the robe was the color of the sky that day.”
She sighed and rose to drive the thought away and when her elder son
came she said restlessly, “I think to go and see your sister tomorrow,
and how she does in the house where she was wed, seeing she cannot come
to me.”
Then the son said, anxiously, “Mother, I cannot go with you now, for
there is work to do tomorrow. Wait until the harvest is over and the
grain threshed and measured, and I have a little free time.”
But suddenly the mother could not wait. There was strength in her a
plenty yet when she had something she set her mind to do, and she
was weary of her idleness and sitting and she said, “No, I will go
tomorrow!”
And the son said, worried still and he was always easily worried if
aught came that was sudden and out of the common and he could not
think what to do quickly, “But how will you go, mother?”
She said, “Why, I will ride my cousin’s ass if he will lend it, and do
you bid a lad of his to go and call your brother to walk beside and
lead the ass, and we will go safe enough, the two of us, for there are
no robbers near these days that I have heard tell of, except that new
kind in the town they call the communists, who do not harm the poor,
they say--”
At last the son was willing, though not too easily and not until his
wife said quietly, “It is true I cannot see any great danger if the
younger one goes with her.”
So they let the mother have her way at last, and the cousin’s lad was
sent to town to search until he found the younger son and so he did
and came back wide-eyed and said, “My cousin and your second son will
come, aunt.” And then he thought a while and twisted the button on his
coat and said again, “I swear it is a strange and secret place where he
lives and a hard place to find. He lives in a long room full of beds,
some twenty beds or so above a shop, and the room is filled with books
and papers. But he does not work in the shop for I asked him. I did not
know my cousin could read, aunt. If he reads those books he must be
very learned.”
“He cannot read,” the mother said astonished. “He never told me that he
lived by books, a very strange odd thing, I swear! I must ask him of
it.”
The next day when she was on the ass and they went winding through the
valleys she took the chance of being alone with him and she did ask her
son, “What are those books and papers that my cousin’s son says you
have in that room where you all live? You never told me you could read
or that you live by books. I never saw you read a word, my son.”
Then the young man stopped the little song he had been singing as they
went for he had a good voice to sing and loved to sing, and he said,
“Aye, I have learned a little.” And when she pressed him further he
said, evading her, “Mother, do not ask me now, for some day you will
know everything and when the hour comes. A great day, mother, and I was
singing of it just now, a song we sing together where I work, and on
that day we shall all be eased, and there shall be no more rich and no
more poor and all of us shall have the same.”
Now this was the wildest talk the mother had ever heard, for well she
knew heaven wills who shall be rich and who shall be poor, and men have
naught to say but take their destiny and bear it, and she cried out
afraid, “I hope you are not in some wicked company, my son, not with
thieves or some such company! It sounds the way robbers talk, my son!
There is no other way for poor to be rich than that, and it is ill to
be rich and lose your life if you be caught at it!”
But the young man grew angry at this and said, “Mother, you do not
understand at all! I am sworn to silence now, but some day you shall
know. Yes, I shall not forget you on that day. But only you. I will
not share with any who have not shared with me.” This last he said so
loudly that she knew he felt against his brother and so she was silent
for a while, fearing to rouse his wrath.
But she could not let him be. She sat as bid upon the ass and clung
to the beast’s hairy skin and thought about this son and looked at
him secretly. There he walked ahead of her, the beast’s halter in his
hand, and now he was singing again, some song she had never heard, some
beating fiery song whose words she could not catch, and she thought to
herself that she must know more of his life. Yes, and she must bind
him somehow more closely to his home and to them all. She would wed
him and have his wife there in the house. Then would he often come and
even live there, perhaps, for the wife’s sake. She would seek and find
a pretty, touching maid whom he could love, for the elder son’s wife
could do the work, and she would find another sort for this son. And as
she thought of this her heart was eased because it seemed a good way
and she could not keep it back and so she said, “Son, you are more than
twenty now, and near to twenty-one, and I think to wed you soon. How is
that for a merry thing?”
But who can tell what a young man’s heart will be? Instead of smiling
silence, half pleased and half ashamed, he stopped and turned and
said to her most wilfully, “I have been waiting for you to say
some such thing--it is all that mothers’ heads run upon, I do
believe! My comrades tell me it is the chiefest thing their parents
say--wed--wed--wed! Well then, mother, I will not wed! And if you wed
me against my will, then shall you never see my face again! I never
will come home again!”
He turned and went on more quickly and she dared not say a word, but
only sat amazed and frightened at his anger and that he did not sing
again.
Yet she forgot all this now in what was to come. The path along which
they had come since early dawn grew narrower and more narrow toward
noon, and those hills which around their own valleys were so gently
shaped, so mild in their round curves against the sky and so green
with grass and bamboo, rose now as they went among them into sharper,
bolder lines. At last when noon was full and the sun poured its heat
down straight the gentle hills were gone, and in their place rose a
range of mountains bare and rocky and cruelly pointed against the sky.
They seemed the sharper too because the sky that day was so cloudless,
bright and hard and blue, above the sand color of the bare mountains.
Beneath great pale cliffs the path wound, the stones not black and
dark, but pale as light in hue and very strange, and nothing grew
there, for there was no water anywhere. So the path wound up and yet
more up and when noon was passed an hour or two, they came suddenly
into a round deep valley in the mountain tops, and there some water
was, for there was a small square village enclosed about with a rocky
wall, and about it the green of a few fields. But when the mother and
her son stopped at the gate to that village and asked of the place
they sought, one who stood there pointed yet higher to a ridge and
said, “There where the green ends on that lower edge there are the two
houses. It is the last edge of green, and above it there are only rocks
and sky.”
Now all this time the mother had stared astonished at these mountains
and at their strange wild shapes and paleness, and at the scanty green.
She had spent her life in the midst of valleys, and now as the path
wound up from the enclosed village she stared about aghast to see how
mortally poor the land was here and how shallow on the pale rocks the
soil was and how scanty all the crops, even now when harvest drew on,
and she cried out to the youth, “I do not like the looks of this place,
son! I doubt it is too hard a place for your sister. Well, we will take
her home, then. Yes, if it is too hard for her here I can walk and we
will put her on the ass, and let them say what they will. They paid
nothing for her, and I will ask nothing but her back again.”
But the young man did not answer. He was weary and hungry, for they had
eaten but a bit of cold food they had brought with them, and he longed
to reach his sister’s house, for there they thought to spend the night.
He pulled at the ass’s bridle until the mother could not bear it and
was about to brave his anger and reprove him.
Suddenly they came upon that house. Yes, there the two houses were,
caught upon the side of the ridge and stuck there somehow to the
rocks, and the mother knew this was where her maid was, for there the
ill-looking old man stood at the door of one of the two houses, and
when he saw her he stared as if he could not believe it was she, and
then he ran in and out came more people, another man, dark and lean and
wild in looks, and two women and a slack-hung youth, but not her blind
maid.
The mother came down from her ass then and went near, and all these
stared at her in silence, and she looked back and was afraid. Never
had she seen such looks as these, the women’s hair uncombed and full
of burrs and their faces withered and blackened with the sun, their
garments never washed, and so were they all. They gathered there and
out of the other house came a sickly child or two, yellowed with some
fever, their lips parched and broken, and their bodies foul with filth,
and they all stared silently, and gave no greeting, their eyes as wild
and reasonless as beasts’ eyes are.
Then did the mother’s heart break suddenly with fear and she ran
forward crying, “Where is my maid? Where have you hid my maid?” And she
ran into their midst, but the young man stood doubting and holding to
the ass.
Then a woman spoke sullenly, and her speech was not easily understood,
some rude northern speech it was, and the sounds caught between her
broken teeth and nothing came out clear and she said, “You have come
well, goodwife. She has just died today.”
“Died!” the mother whispered and said no more. Her heart stopped, her
breath was gone, she had no voice. But she pushed into the nearest hut
and there upon a bed of reeds thrown on the ground her blind maid lay.
Aye, there the maid was lying quietly and dead, dressed in the same
clothes she had when she left her home, but not clean now nor mended.
Of those new things there was no trace, for the room was empty save for
the heap of rushes and a rude stool or two.
Then the mother ran and knelt beside her maid and stared down at the
still face and sunken eyes and at the patient little mouth and all the
face she knew so well. And suddenly she burst out crying and she fell
upon the maid and seized her hands and pushed the ragged sleeves back
and looked at her little arms and drew the trousers up her legs and
looked to see if they were bruised or beaten or harmed in any way.
But there was nothing. No, the maid’s soft skin was all unbroken, the
slender bones whole, and there was nothing to be seen. She was pale and
piteously thin, but she was thin always and death is pale. Then did
the mother stoop and smell at the child’s lips to see if there was any
smell of poison, but there was no smell, nothing now except the faint
sad scent of death.
Yet somehow the mother could not believe that this was any good and
usual death. She turned on those who stood about the door watching her
in silence, and she looked at them and saw their wild rude faces, not
one of which she knew, and she shouted at them through sudden great
weeping, “You have killed her--well I know you have--if you did not,
then tell me how did my maid die so soon, and she left me sound and
well!”
Then the evil old man whom she had hated from the first time she saw
him grinned and said, “Be careful how you speak, goodwife! It is not a
small thing to say we killed her and--”
But the sullen, rough-haired woman broke in screaming, “How did she
die? She died of a cold she caught, being so puny, and that is how
she died!” And she spat upon the ground and said again, screeching as
she said, “A useless maid she was, too, if there was one, and knowing
nothing--no, she could not even learn to fetch the water from the
spring and not stumble and fall or lose her way!”
Then the mother looked and saw a narrow stony path leading down the
mountain to a small pool and she groaned and cried, “Is that the way
you mean?” But no one answered her and she cried out in further agony,
“You beat her--doubtless every day my maid was beaten!”
But the woman answered quickly, “Search and see if there be bruises on
her! Once my son did beat her for she came to him too slowly, but that
is all!”
The mother looked up then and said faintly, “Where is your son?” And
they pushed him forward, that son they had, and there he stood, a
gangling, staring lad, and the mother saw he was nearly witless.
Then did the mother lay her head down upon her dead maid and weep and
weep most wildly, and more wildly still she wept when she thought of
what the maid had suffered, must have suffered, at such hands as these.
And while she wept the anger grew about her in those who watched her.
At last she felt a touch upon her and looking up she saw it was her
son, and he bent and whispered to her urgently, “Mother, we are in
danger here--I am afraid--we must not stay. Mother, she is dead now and
what more can you do? But they look so evil I do not know what they
will do to us. Come and let us hasten to the village and buy a little
food and then press on home tonight!”
The mother rose then unwillingly, but as she looked she saw it was true
those people stood together close, and there was that about them to
make her fear, too, and she did not like their muttering nor the looks
they cast at her and at the youth. Yes, she must think of him. Let them
kill her if they would, but there was her son.
She turned and looked down once more at her dead maid and put her
garments neat and laid her hands to her side. She went out into the
late afternoon. When they saw her calmer and that she made ready to
mount the ass again, the man, who had not spoken yet, and who was
father to the witless son, said, “Look you, goodwife, if you do not
think us honest folk, look at the coffin we have bought your child. Ten
pieces of silver did it cost us, and all we had, and do you think we
would have bought a coffin if we had not valued her?”
The mother looked then, and there beside the door a coffin truly was,
but well she knew there were not ten pieces of silver in it, for it was
but the rudest box of unpainted board, and thin well-nigh as paper and
such a box as any pauper has. She opened her lips to make angry answer
and to say, “That box? But my maid’s own silver that I gave her would
have paid for that!”
But she did not say the words. It came upon her like a chill cloud
across the day that she had need to fear these people. Yes, these two
evil men, these wild women--but there her son was tugging at her sleeve
to hasten her and so she answered steadily, “I will say nothing now.
The maid is dead and not all the angers in the world nor any words can
bring her back again.” She paused and looked at this one and at that
and then she said again, “Before heaven do you stand and all the gods,
and let them judge you, whatever you have done!”
She looked at this one and that, but no one answered, and she turned
then and climbed upon the ass and the son made haste and led the ass
down the rocky path and turned shivering to see if they were followed
and he said, “I shall not rest until we are near that village once
again and where many people are, I am so fearful.”
But the mother answered nothing. What need to answer anything? Her maid
was dead.