This morning I received your letter, and according to your desire
prepared myself immediately to answer it.
I hardly thought it possible, any letter of yours could have given me
so much uneasiness. I am very sensible how many obligations I have
to you, and that in this affair you continue to act with your usual
goodness to me. If there is any fault it is partly my own and partly
that of unhappy circumstances. My expences have been too great for
our fortune. I was afraid of it at the time; and tho' I cannot yet
see that relative to my situation of travelling and being at Paris
I have launched into any extravagancy, the consequences are equally
disagreable. But what is past cannot be recalled. With regard, Dear
Sir, to the proposal mentioned in your letter; if your own ease
or happiness had depended upon it, I should not have hesitated an
instant, but as the advantages resulting from it relate only to me
you will give me leave to canvass it freely.
I need not say any thing of the great inconvenience of mortgages
nor how much they eat up an estate piece meal. We feel it but too
sensibly: Sir T. R.'s is particularly disagreable, since he has it
in his power to distress us whenever he pleases by calling for his
money. I own the thought of increasing it hurts me very much.
[Sidenote: DECLINES TO ENTER PARLIAMENT.]
The advantages for me would be, your being able to bring me into
Parliament, increasing my annuity and enabling me to continue my
travels. Give me leave to say, Dear Sir, that the first has very
little weight with me. I find my ambition diminish every day, and
my preference of a quiet studious life to hurry and business grow
upon me. Besides I should imagine the thing almost impossible in
the middle of a parliament and at such an interesting period:[59]
and if I was in, what could I do? Whether I consulted principle or
prudence, every thing seems so unsettled that I might find myself
very soon at the tail of an opposition; (and as a total change
seems to be the modern maxim of every new Ministry,) in case I had
got any thing, I should be reduced to my former situation, with
the additional mortification of having just tasted a little more
power and plenty. The encreasing my annuity would be certainly very
agreable, but as it would be only the difference of passing four or
six months every winter in London, I should not think it equivalent.
The continuing my travels is the great object. When I am just in view
of Italy, to be obliged to give up a scheme which has been always a
favourite, would afflict me to the greatest degree.
Would it not be possible, Dear Sir, to think of another scheme?
One has come into my head which would set me entirely at my ease
without costing you a shilling. It would be to change my annuity
into a perpetual rent charge upon the Estate: this I would sell
immediately for an annuity upon my own life, which would certainly
give me Six hundred pounds a year, would enable me to travel (at
least with a small addition) and to live afterwards in a very
agreable manner in England. I think I may venture to say I shall
never marry, and even supposing that possibility and afterwards the
possibility of children; Would this scheme hurt them more than the
other? But I submit it entirely to you. In case this proposal should
be disagreable to you, you have my full consent to the other. Only
give me leave, Dear Sir, to mention one thing. I should be a monster,
If I could distrust either your honor or your goodness to me; but
I am afraid (excuse the freedom) that Œconomy is not the virtue
of our family. A variety of schemes would offer, old incumbrances
would appear, and you yourself would be the first surprised to find
the sum almost sunk to nothing. I should think that the dividing it
might equally suit us both. I should have a fund for my extraordinary
expences, which I should be the more interested to husband, as I
should know that I could have no pretence to ask for any thing more.
You on the other hand, Dear Sir, would be likewise at a certainty
with regard both to your expences and mine.
I shall end here, Dear Sir; for I am too much agitated to talk of any
thing else: only begging you to excuse the liberty I have taken. Your
goodness has encouraged me to it and I think our mutual interest
requires it. In case you should approve of my first proposal, I
suppose my going over in the Spring will be sufficient. Otherwise, I
should be glad to hear from you as soon as possible, that I might set
out before winter.
My love and duty are always Mrs. Gibbon's and my sincere compliments
wait upon the Brothers.
I am, Dear Sir,
With the greatest affection sincerely yours,
E. GIBBON, JUNIOR.
[59] On April 7, 1763, Lord Bute resigned, and was on the same
day succeeded by George Grenville, as First Lord of the Treasury.
During the autumn recess, George III. opened negotiations with
Pitt to take Grenville's place. But no change was made, and
Grenville was preparing to meet Parliament in November, 1763, as
Prime Minister.
[Sidenote: WAYS AND MEANS.]
29.
_To his Father._
Lausanne, October the 15th, 1763.