What We Can Ourselves Do. The Evil of Desiring to Attain to
Supernatural States Before Our Lord Calls Us.
1. My aim in the foregoing chapter--though I digressed to many
other matters, because they seemed to me very necessary--was to
explain how much we may attain to of ourselves; and how, in these
beginnings of devotion, we are able in some degree to help
ourselves: because thinking of, and pondering on, the sufferings
of our Lord for our sakes moves us to compassion, and the sorrow
and tears which result therefrom are sweet. The thought of the
blessedness we hope for, of the love our Lord bore us, and of His
resurrection, kindle within us a joy which is neither wholly
spiritual nor wholly sensual; but the joy is virtuous, and the
sorrow is most meritorious.
2. Of this kind are all those things which produce a devotion
acquired in part by means of the understanding, though it can
neither be merited nor had, if God grants it not. It is best for
a soul which God has not raised to a higher state than this not
to try to rise of itself. Let this be well considered, because
all the soul will gain in that way will be a loss. In this state
it can make many acts of good resolutions to do much for God, and
enkindle its love; other acts also, which may help the growth of
virtues, according to that which is written in a book called The
Art of Serving God, [1] a most excellent work, and profitable for
those who are in this state, because the understanding is
active now.
3. The soul may also place itself in the presence of Christ, and
accustom itself to many acts of love directed to His sacred
Humanity, and remain in His presence continually, and speak to
Him, pray to Him in its necessities, and complain to Him of its
troubles; be merry with Him in its joys, and yet not forget Him
because of its joys. All this it may do without set prayers, but
rather with words befitting its desires and its needs.
4. This is an excellent way whereby to advance, and that very
quickly. He that will strive to have this precious
companionship, and will make much of it, and will sincerely love
our Lord, to whom we owe so much, is one, in my opinion, who has
made some progress. There is therefore no reason why we should
trouble ourselves because we have no sensible devotion, as I said
before. [2] But let us rather give thanks to our Lord, who
allows us to have a desire to please Him, though our works be
poor. This practice of the presence of Christ is profitable in
all states of prayer, and is a most safe way of advancing in the
first state, and of attaining quickly to the second; and as for
the last states, it secures us against those risks which the
devil may occasion.
5. This, then, is what we can do. He who would pass out of this
state, and upraise his spirit, in order to taste consolations
denied him, will, in my opinion, lose both the one and the
other. [3] These consolations being supernatural, and the
understanding inactive, the soul is then left desolate and in
great aridity. As the foundation of the whole building is
humility, the nearer we draw unto God the more this virtue should
grow; if it does not, everything is lost. It seems to be a kind
of pride when we seek to ascend higher, seeing that God descends
so low, when He allows us, being what we are, to draw near
unto Him.
6. It must not be supposed that I am now speaking of raising our
thoughts to the consideration of the high things of heaven and of
its glory, or unto God and His great wisdom. I never did this
myself, because I had not the capacity for it--as I said
before; [4] and I was so worthless, that, as to thinking even of
the things of earth, God gave me grace to understand this truth:
that in me it was no slight boldness to do so. How much more,
then, the thinking of heavenly things? Others, however, will
profit in that way, particularly those who are learned; for
learning, in my opinion, is a great treasury in the matter of
this exercise, if it be accompanied with humility. I observed
this a few days ago in some learned men who had shortly before
made a beginning, and had made great progress. This is the
reason why I am so very anxious that many learned men may become
spiritual. I shall speak of this by and by. [5]
7. What I am saying--namely, let them not rise if God does not
raise them--is the language of spirituality. He will understand
me who has had any experience; and I know not how to explain it,
if what I have said does not make it plain.
8. In mystical theology--of which I spoke before [6]--the
understanding ceases from its acts, because God suspends it--as I
shall explain by and by, if I can; [7] and God give me the grace
to do so. We must neither imagine nor think that we can of
ourselves bring about this suspension. That is what I say must
not be done; nor must we allow the understanding to cease from
its acts; for in that case we shall be stupid and cold, and the
result will be neither the one nor the other. For when our Lord
suspends the understanding, and makes it cease from its acts, He
puts before it that which astonishes and occupies it: so that
without making any reflections, it shall comprehend in a
moment [8] more than we could comprehend in many years with all
the efforts in the world.
9. To have the powers of the mind occupied, and to think that you
can keep them at the same time quiet, is folly. I repeat it,
though it be not so understood, there is no great humility in
this; and, if it be blameless, it is not left unpunished--it is
labour thrown away, and the soul is a little disgusted: it feels
like a man about to take a leap, and is held back. Such a one
seems to have used up his strength already, and finds himself
unable to do that which he wished to have done: so here, in the
scanty gain that remains, he who will consider the matter will
trace that slight want of humility of which I have spoken; [9]
for that virtue has this excellence: there is no good work
attended by humility that leaves the soul disgusted. It seems to
me that I have made this clear enough; yet, after all, perhaps
only for myself. May our Lord open their eyes who read this, by
giving them experience; and then however slight that experience
may be, they will immediately understand it.
10. For many years I read much, and understood nothing; and for a
long time, too, though God gave me understanding herein, I never
could utter a word by which I might explain it to others.
This was no little trouble to me. When His Majesty pleases, He
teaches everything in a moment, so that I am lost in wonder.
One thing I can truly say: though I conversed with many spiritual
persons, who sought to make me understand what our Lord was
giving me, in order that I might be able to speak of it, the fact
is, that my dulness was so great, that I derived no advantage
whatever, much or little, from their teaching.
11. Or it may be, as His Majesty has always been my Master--may
He be blessed for ever! for I am ashamed of myself that I can say
so with truth--that it was His good pleasure I should meet with
no one to whom I should be indebted in this matter. So, without
my wishing or asking it--I never was careful about this, for that
would have been a virtue in me, but only about vanity--God gave
me to understand with all distinctness in a moment, and also
enabled me to express myself, so that my confessors were
astonished but I more than they, because I knew my own dulness
better. It is not long since this happened. And so that which
our Lord has not taught me, I seek not to know it, unless it be a
matter that touches my conscience.
12. Again I repeat my advice: it is of great moment not to raise
our spirit ourselves, if our Lord does not raise it for us; and
if He does, there can be no mistaking it. For women, it is
specially wrong, because the devil can delude them--though I am
certain our Lord will never allow him to hurt any one who labours
to draw near unto God in humility. On the contrary, such a one
will derive more profit and advantage out of that attack by which
Satan intended to hurt him.
13. I have dwelt so long upon this matter because this way of
prayer is the most common with beginners, and because the advice
I have given is very important. It will be found much better
given elsewhere: that I admit; and I admit, also, that in writing
it I am ashamed of myself, and covered with confusion--though not
so much so as I ought to be. Blessed for ever be our Lord, of
whose will and pleasure it is that I am allowed, being what I am,
to speak of things which are His, of such a nature, and so deep.
1. Arte de servir a Dios, by Rodrigue de Solis, friar of the
Augustinian Order (Bouix). Arte para servir a Dios, by
Fra. Alonso de Madrid (De la Fuente).
2. Ch. xi. §§ 20, 25.
3. That is, he will lose the prayer of acquired quiet, because he
voluntarily abandons it before the time; and will not attain to
the prayer of infused quiet, because he attempts to rise into it
before he is called (Francis. de Sancto Thoma, Medulla Mystica,
tr. iv. ch. xi. n. 69).
4. Ch. iv. § 10.
5. Ch. xxxiv. § 9.
6. Ch. x. § 1.
7. Ch. xvi. § 4.
8. "En un credo."
9. § 5.