advanced, and another conference ensued, in which Mrs. Ogle's
sons were inquired for, and their way of life, and designs and
characters. This ended and completed the whole; Mrs. Ogle no
longer restrained the tears of pleasure from flowing; her little
daughters declared, aloud, the king and queen were the two most
sweet persons in the whole world, and they would say so as long
as they lived; and poor Spotty, colouring and conscious, said--
"But I hope I did not behave so bad this time as the first?" Nay,
so wholly was she conquered, that, losing her stubbornness more
and more by reflection, she would not let me take leave till she
obliged me to promise I would either call the next morning,
before their departure, or write her a little note, to say if
they found out or mentioned her ungraciousness.
I was too well pleased in the convert to refuse her this satis-
page 189
action; and so full was her mind of her new loyalty, that when
she found me steady in declining to go with her to the ball, she
gave it up herself, and said she would go home with her mother
and sisters, to talk matters over.
THE PRINCES' ANIMAL SPIRITS.
July 31.---Miss Planta said the Duke of York was expected the
next day. This led to much discourse on the princes, in which
Mr. Fairly, with his usual but Most uncommon openness, protested
there was something in the violence of their animal spirits that
Would make him accept no post and no pay to live with them.
Their very voices, he said, had a loudness and force that wore
him.
Immediately after he made a little attack--a gentle one, Indeed--
upon me, for the contrary extreme, of hardly speaking, among
strangers at least, so as to be heard. "And why," cried he, "do
you speak so low? I used formerly not to catch above a word in a
sentence from you." In talking about the princes, he asked me
how I managed with them.
Not at all, I said, for since I had resided under the royal roof
they were rarely there, and I had merely seen them two or three
times.
He congratulated me that I had not been in the family in earlier
days, when they all lived together; and Miss Planta enumerated
various of their riots, and the distresses and difficulties they
caused in the household.
I was very glad, I said, to be out of the way, though I did not
doubt but I might have kept clear of them had I been even then a
resident.
"O no, no," cried Mr. Fairly; "they would have come to you, I
promise you; and what could you have done--what would have become
of you?--with Prince William in particular? Do you not think,
Miss Planta, the Prince of Wales and Prince William would have
been quite enough for Miss Burney? Why she would have been quite
subdued."
I assured him I had not a fear but I might always have avoided
them.
"Impossible! They would have come to your tea-room."
"I would have given up tea."
"Then they would have followed you--called for you--sent for
you--the Prince of Wales would have called about him, 'Here !
where's Miss Burney?"'
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"O, no, no, no!" cried I; "I would have kept wholly out of the
way, and then they would never have thought about me."
"O, ho!" cried he, laughing, "never think of seeing Miss Burney
Prince William, too! what say you to that, Miss Planta?
She agreed there was no probability of such escape. I was only
the more glad to have arrived in later times.
Here a page came to call Mr. Fairly to backgammon with his
majesty.
THE DUKE OF YORK: ROYAL VISIT TO THE THEATRE.
Friday, Aug. 1.-This was a very busy day; the Duke of York was
expected, and his fond father had caused a portable wooden house
to be moved from the further end of Cheltenham town up to join to
Fauconber, Hall. The task had employed twenty or thirty men
almost ever since our arrival, and so laborious, slow, difficult,
and all but impracticable had it proved, that it was barely
accomplished before it was wanted. There was no room, however,
in the king's actual dwelling, and he could not endure not to
accommodate his son immediately next himself.
His joy upon his arrival was such joy as I have only seen here
when he arrived first from Germany; I do not mean it was equally
violent, or, alas! equally unmixed, but yet it was next and
nearest to that which had been most perfect.
Mr. Bunbury attended his royal highness. We had all dispersed
from breakfast, but the king came in, and desired me to make him
some. Mr. Fairly had brought him to my little parlour, and,
having called Columb, and assisted in arranging a new breakfast,
he left us, glad, I suppose, of a morning to himself, for his
majesty was wholly engrossed by the duke.
We talked over his usual theme--plays and players--and he
languished to go to the theatre and see Mrs. Jordan. Nor did he
languish in vain: his royal master, the duke, imbibed his wishes,
and conveyed them to the king; and no sooner were they known than
an order was hastily sent to the play-house, to prepare a royal
box. The queen was so gracious as to order Miss Planta and
myself to have the same entertainment.
The delight of the people that their king and queen should visit
this country theatre was the most disinterested I ever witnessed;
for though they had not even a glance of their royal
countenances, they shouted, huzzaed, and clapped, for
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many minutes. The managers had prepared the front boxes for
their reception, and therefore the galleries were over them.
They made a very full and respectable appearance in this village
theatre. The king, queen, Duke of York, and three princesses,
were all accommodated with front seats ; Lord Harcourt stood
behind the king, Lady Harcourt and Mr. Fairly behind the queen;
Lord and Lady Courtown and Lady Pembroke behind the princesses;
and at the back, Colonel Gwynn and Mr. Bunbury; Mr. Boulby and
Lady Mary were also in the back group.
I was somewhat taken up in observing a lady who sat opposite to
me, Miss W---. My Susanna will remember that extraordinary young
lady at Bath, whose conduct and conversation I have either
written or repeated to her.(287)
I could not see her again without being much struck by another
recollection, of more recent and vexatious date. Mrs. Thrale, in
one of the letters she has published, and which was written just
after I had communicated to her my singular rencontre with this
lady, says to Dr. Johnson, "Burney has picked up an infidel, and
recommended to her to read 'Rasselas.'
This has a strange sound, but when its circumstances are known,
its strangeness ceases; it meant Miss W--- and I greatly fear,
from the date and the book, she cannot but know the "infidel" and
herself are one. I was truly Concerned in reading it, and I now
felt almost ashamed as well as concerned in facing her, though
her infidelity at that time, was of her own public avowal. Mr.
Bunbury is particularly intimate with her, and admires her beyond
all women.
AN UN-COURTLY VISITOR.
Miss Planta and myself, by the queen's direction, went in a
chaise to see Tewkesbury. We were carried to several very
beautiful points of view, all terminating with the noble hills of
Malvern; and we visited the cathedral. . . . The pews seem the
most unsafe, strange, and irregular that were ever constructed;
they are mounted up, story after story, without any order, now
large, now small, now projecting out wide, now almost indented in
back, nearly to the very roof of the building. They look as if,
ready-made, they had been thrown up, and stuck wherever they
could, entirely by chance.
We returned home just in time to be hastily dressed before
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the royals came back. I was a little, however, distressed on
being told, as I descended to dinner, that Mr. Richard
Burney(288) was in my parlour. The strict discipline observed
here, in receiving no visits, made this a very awkward
circumstance, for I as much feared hurting him by such a hint, as
concurring in an impropriety by detaining him. Miss Planta
suffers not a soul to approach her to this house ; and Lady
Harcourt has herself told me she thinks it would be wrong to
receive even her sisters, Miss Vernons, so much all-together is
now the house and household!
My difficulty was still increased, when, upon entering the
parlour, I found him in boots, a riding dress, and hair wholly
without curl or dressing. Innocently, and very naturally, he had
called upon me in his travelling garb, never suspecting that in
visiting me he was at all in danger of seeing or being seen by
any one else. Had that indeed been the case, I should have been
very glad to see him; but I knew, now, his appearance must prove
every way to his disadvantage, and I felt an added anxiety to
acquaint him with my situation.
Miss Planta looked all amazement; but he was himself all ease and
sprightly unconsciousness.
We were obliged to sit down to dinner; he had dined. I was quite
in a panic the whole time, lest any of the royals should come in
before I could speak - but, after he had partaken of our dessert,
as much en badinage as I could, I asked him if he felt stout
enough to meet the king? and then explained to him, as concisely
as I had power, that I had here no room whatsoever at my own
disposal, in such a manner as to enable my having the happiness
to receive any of my private friends even Miss Port, though known
to all the royal family,, I could never venture to invite, except
when they were abroad: such being, at present, the universal
practice and forbearance of all the attendants in this tour.
He heard me with much surprise, and much laughter at his own
elegant equipment for such encounters as those to which he now
found himself liable; but he immediately proposed decamping, and
I could not object, Yet, to soften this disagreeable explanation,
I kept him a few minutes longer, settling concerning our further
meeting at the concerts- at Worcester, and, in this little
interval, we were startled by a rap at my door. He laughed, and
started back; and I, alarmed,
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also retreated. Miss Planta opened the door, and called out
"'Tis Mr. Fairly."
I saw him in amaze at sight of a gentleman; and he was himself
immediately retiring, concluding, I suppose, that nothing less
than business very urgent could have induced me to break through
rules so rigidly observed by himself and all
others. I would not, however, let him go . but as I continued
talking with Richard about the music meeting and my cousins, he
walked up to the window with Miss Planta. I now kept Richard as
long as I well could, to help off his own embarrassment at this
interruption; at length he went.
MR. FAIRLY READS "AKENSIDE" TO MISS BURNEY.
Hearing now the barking of the dogs, I knew the royals must be
going forth to their promenade; but I found Mr. Fairly either did
not hear or did not heed them. While I expected him every moment
to recollect himself, and hasten to the walks, he quietly said,
"They are all gone but me. I shall venture, to-night, to
shirk;--though the king will soon miss me. But what will follow?
He will say--'Fairly is tired! How shabby!' Well! let him say
so; I am tired!" Miss Planta went off, soon after, to her walk.
He then said, "Have you done with my little book?"
"O yes!" I cried, "and this morning I have sent home the map of
Gloucester you were so good as to send us. Though, I believe, I
have kept both so long, You will not again be in any haste to
lend me either a map of the land, or a poem of the sea." I then
gave him back "The Shipwreck."
"Shall I tell you," cried I, "a design I have been forming upon
you?"
"A design upon me?"
"Yes; and I may as well own it, for I shall be quite as near
success as if I disguise it." I then went to my little drawer
and took out Akenside."
"Here," I cried, "I intended to have had this fall in your way,
by pure accident, on the evening you were called to the conjurer,
and I have planned the same ingenious project every evening
since, but it has never taken, and so now I produce it fairly!"
"That," cried he, taking it, with a very pleased smile, "is the
only way in all things!"
Page 194
He then began reading "The Pleasures of the Imagination," and I
took some work, for which I was much in haste, and my imagination
was amply gratified. He only looked out for favourite passages,
as he has the poem almost by heart, and he read them with a
feeling and energy that showed his whole soul penetrated with
their force and merit.
After the first hour, however, he grew uneasy'; he asked me when
I expected the king and queen from their walk, and whether they
were likely to come into my room?
"All," I said, "was uncertain."
"Can nobody," he cried, "let you know when they are coming?"
"Nobody," I answered, "would know till they were actually
arrived."
"But," cried he, "can you not bid somebody watch?"
'Twas rather an awkward commission, but I felt it would be an
awkwardness still less pleasant to me to decline it, and
therefore I called Columb, and desired he would let me know when
the queen returned.
He was then easier, and laughed a little, while he explained
himself, "Should they come in and find me reading here before I
could put away my book, they would say we were two blue
stockings!"
At tea Miss Planta again joined us, and instantly behind him went
the book. He was very right; for nobody would
have thought it more odd--or more blue.
During this repast they returned home, but all went straight
upstairs, the duke wholly occupying the king - and Mr. Bunbury
went to the play. When Miss Planta, therefore, took her evening
stroll, "Akenside" again came forth, and with more security.
"There is one ode here," he cried, "that I wish to read to you,
and now I think I can."
I told him I did not in general like Akenside's odes, at least
what I had chanced to read, for I thought they were too inflated,
and filled with "liberty cant."
"But this, however," cried he, "I must read to you, it is so
pretty, though it is upon love!"
'Tis addressed to Olympia: I dare say my dearest Fredy recollects
it.(289) It is, indeed, most feelingly written; but we
Page 195
had only got through the first stanza when the door Suddenly
opened, and enter Mr. Bunbury.
After all the precautions taken, to have him thus appear at the
very worst moment! Vexed as I was, I could really have laughed;
but Mr. Fairly was ill disposed to take it so merrily. He
started, threw the book forcibly behind him, and instantly took
up his hat, as if decamping. I really believe he was afraid Mr.
Bunbury would caricature us "The sentimental readers!" or what
would he have called us? Luckily this confusion passed unnoticed.
Mr. Bunbury had run away from the play to see after the horses,
etc., for his duke, and was fearful of coming too late.
plays and players now took up all the discourse, with Miss W--,
till the duke was ready to go. They then left me together, Mr.
Fairly smiling drolly enough in departing, and looking at
"Akenside" with a very arch shrug, as who should say "What a
scrape you had nearly drawn me into, Mr. Akenside!"
THE DOCTOR's EMBARRASSMENT.
Sunday, Aug. 3.-This morning I was so violently oppressed by a
cold, which turns out to be the influenza, it was with the utmost
difficulty I could dress myself. I did indeed now want some
assistant most wofully.
The princess royal has already been some days disturbed with this
influenza. When the queen perceived it in me she told his
majesty, who came into the room just as she was going to
breakfast. Without making any answer, he himself went
immediately to call Mr. Clerk, the apothecary, who was then with
the princess royal.
"Now, Mr. Clerk," cried he, "here's another patient for you."
Mr. Clerk, a modest, sensible man, concluded, by the king himself
having called him, that it was the queen he had
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now to attend, and he stood bowing profoundly before her but soon
observing she did not notice him, he turned in some confusion to
the Princess Augusta, who was now in the group.
"No, no! it's not me, Mr. Clerk, thank God!" cried the gay
Princess Augusta.
Still more confused, the poor man advanced to Princess Elizabeth.
"No, no; it's not her!" cried the king.
I had held back, having scarce power to open my eyes, from a
vehement head-ache, and not, indeed, wishing to go through my
examination till there were fewer witnesses. But his majesty now
drew me out.
"Here, Mr. Clerk," he cried, "this is your new patient!"
He then came bowing up to me, the king standing close by, and the
rest pretty near.
"You--you are not well, ma'am?" he cried in the greatest
embarrassment,
"No, sir, not quite," I answered in ditto.
"O, Mr. Clerk will cure you!" cried the king.
"Are-are you feverish, ma'am?"
"Yes, sir, a little."
"I--I will send you a saline draught, ma'am."
"If you please."
And then he bowed and decamped.
Did you ever hear a more perfectly satisfactory examination? The
poor modest man was overpowered by such royal listeners and
spectators, and I could not possibly relieve him, for I was
little better myself.
I went down to breakfast, but was so exceedingly oppressed I
could not hold up my head, and as soon as I could escape I went
to my own room, and laid down till my noon attendance, which I
performed with so much difficulty I was obliged to return to the
same indulgence the moment I was at liberty.
FROM GRAVE TO GAY.
Down at last I went, slow and wrapped up. I found Mr. Fairly
alone in the parlour, reading letters with such intentness that
he did not raise his head, and with an air of the deepest
dejection. I remained wholly unnoticed a considerable time; but
at last he looked up, and with some surprise, but a voice OF
Page 197
of extreme sadness, he said, "Is that Miss Burney? I thought it
had been Miss Planta."
I begged him to read on, and not mind me; and I called for tea.
When we had done tea, "See, ma'am," he cried, "I have brought You
'Carr,' and here is a sermon upon the text I mean, when I preach,
to choose 'Keep innocency, and take heed to the thing that is
right; for that will bring a man peace at the last.'"
Sincerely I commended his choice ; and we had a most solemn
discussion of happiness, not such as coincides with gaiety here,
but hope of salvation hereafter. His mind has so religious a
propensity, that it seems to me, whenever he leaves it to its
natural bent, to incline immediately and instinctively to
subjects of that holy nature.
Humility, he said, in conclusion, humility was all in all for
tranquillity of mind; with that, little was expected and much was
borne, and the smallest good was a call for gratitude and
content. How could this man be a soldier? Might one not think he
was bred in the cloisters?
"Well," cried he, again taking up the volume of "Carr," "I will
just sit and read this sermon, and then quietly go home."
He did so, feelingly, forcibly, solemnly; it is an excellent
sermon; yet so read--he so sad, and myself so ill--it was almost
too much for me, and I had some difficulty to behave with proper
propriety. To him subjects of this sort, ill or well, bring
nothing, I believe, but strength as well as comfort. The voice
of dejection with which he began changed to one of firmness ere
he had read three pages.
Something he saw of unusual sinking, notwithstanding what
I hid; and, with a very kind concern, when he had finished the
sermon, he said, "Is there anything upon your spirits?"
"No," I assured him, "but I was not well; and mind and body
seemed to go together sometimes, when they did not."
"But they do go together," cried he, "and will."
However, he took no further- notice: he is like me, for myself,
in that--that whatever he thinks only bodily is little worth
attention; and I did not care to risk explaining to his strong
and virtuous mind the many fears and mixed sensations of mine,
when brought to a close disquisition of awaiting eternity.
I never, but with Mrs. Delany and Dr. Johnson, have entered so
fully and so frequently upon this awful subject as
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with Mr. Fairly. My dear and most revered Mrs. Delany dwelt upon
it continually, with joy, and pure, yet humble hope. My
ever-honoured Dr. Johnson recurred to it perpetually, with a
veneration compounded of diffidence and terror, and an incessant,
yet unavailing plan, of amending all errors, and rising into
perfection. Mr. Fairly leans upon it as the staff of his
strength--the trust, the hope, the rest of his soul--too big for
satisfaction in aught this world has given, or can reserve for
him. '
He did not, however, "go quietly home," when he had finished the
sermon; on the contrary, he revived in his spirits, and animated
in his discourse, and stayed on.
In speaking of the king he suddenly recollected some very fine
lines of Churchill, made on his accession to the throne. I wish
I could transcribe them, they are so applicable to that good
king, from that moment of promise to the present of performance.
But I know not in what part of Churchill's works they may be
found.
Finding me unacquainted with his poems he then repeated several
passages, all admirably chosen ; but among them his memory called
forth some that were written upon Lord H--, which were of the
bitterest severity I ever heard:--whether deserved or not, Heaven
knows; but Mr. Fairly said he would repeat them, for the merit of
the composition. There was no examining his opinion of their
veracity, and he made no comments; but this: Lord H-- was the
famous man so often in the House of Commons accused of expending,
or retaining, unaccounted millions
Having run through all he could immediately recollect, he said,
with a very droll smile, "Come, now I'll finish our ode," and
went to my drawer for "Akenside."
His fears of surprise, however, again came upon him so strongly
while reading it, that he flung away the book in the utmost
commotion at every sound, lest any one was entering, always
saying in excuse, "We must not be called two blue stockings;"
and, "They are so glad to laugh; the world is so always on the
watch for ridicule." . . .
I know not by what means, but after this we talked over Mr.
Hastings's trial. I find he is very much acquainted with Mr.
Windham, and I surprised him not a little, I saw, by what I told
him of part Of My conferences with that gentleman.
This matter having led us from our serious subjects, he took
Page 199)
up "Akenside" once more, and read to me the first book
throughout, What a very, very charming poem is the "Pleasures of
the Imagination!" He stayed to the last moment, and left me all
the better for the time he thus rescued from feverish lassitude
and suffering.
A VISIT TO WORCESTER.
Tuesday, Aug. 5-The journey to Worcester was very pleasant, and
the country through which we passed extremely luxuriant and
pretty. We did not go in by the Barborne road ; but all the
road, and all avenues leading to it, were lined with people, and
when we arrived at the city we could see nothing but faces ; they
lined the windows from top to bottom, and the pavement from end
to end.
We drove all through the city to come to the palace of Bishop
Hurd, at which we were to reside. Upon stopping there, the king
had an huzza that seemed to vibrate through the whole town ; the
princess royal's carriage had a second, and the equerries a
third; the mob then, as ours drew on in succession, seemed to
deliberate whether or not we also should have a cheer: but one of
them soon decided the matter by calling out, "These are the maids
of honour!" and immediately they gave us an huzza that made us
quite ashamed, considering its vicinity.
Mr. Fairly and Colonel Goldsworthy having performed the royal
attendance, waited to hand us out of the carriage ; and then the
former said he believed he should not be wanted, and would go and
make a visit in the town. I should have much liked walking off
also, and going to my cousins at Barborne Lodge; but I was no
free agent, and obliged to wait for commands.
The house is old and large; part of it looks to the Severn but
the celebrated "Fair Sabrina" was so thick and muddy, that at
this time her vicinity added but little to the beauty of the
situation.
My bed-room is pleasant, with a view of the distant country and
the Severn beneath it; but it is through that of the princess
royal; which is an inconvenience her royal highness submits to
with a grace that would make me ashamed to call it one to myself.
The parlour for our eating is large and dark, and old-fashioned.
I made tea in it to-night for Lord Courtown and the two colonels,
and Miss Planta, and was so much the
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better for my journey, that I felt the influenza nearly
conquered.
Wednesday, Aug. 6.-I had the pleasure to arrange going to the
music meeting with my own family. Notes were immediately
interchanged from and to Barborne Lodge, and the queen was very
well pleased that I should have this opportunity of joining my
friends. Mr. and Mrs. Hawkins and Betsy called for me at the
bishop's.
I was heartily glad to see Betsy and Mrs. Hawkins I introduced
Miss Planta to them, who was of our party. We sat in what are
called the steward's places, immediately under their majesties.
The performance was very long, and tolerably tedious, consisting
of Handel's gravest pieces and fullest choruses, and concluding
with a sermon concerning the institution of the charity, preached
by Dr. Langhorne. I was, however, so glad to be with my cousins,
that the morning was very comfortable and pleasant to me.
Richard and James joined us occasionally.; the rest of the family
are at Shrewsbury.
It was over very late, and we then went about the church, to see
King John's tomb, etc, They were very earnest with me to go to
Barborne but it was impossible. I promised, however, to
accompany them to the concert at night, and be of their party to
all the morning meetings at the cathedral. '
My parlour at the bishop's afforded me a good deal of
entertainment, from observing the prodigious concourse of people
from all the tops of houses, and looking over the walls to watch
his majesty's entrance into the court-yard. Poor Lord Courtown,
on account of his star, was continually taken for the king, and
received so many huzzas and shouts, that he hardly dared show
himself except when in attendance.
THE QUEEN AND MR. FAIRLY.
Saturday, Aug. 9.-Her majesty this morning a little surprised me
by gravely asking me what were Mr. Fairly's designs with regard
to his going away ? I could not tell her I did not know what I
was really acquainted with; yet I feared it might seem odd to her
that I should be better informed than herself, and it was truly
unpleasant to me to relate anything he had told me without his
leave. Her question, therefore, gave me a painful sensation; but
it was spoken with an air so strongly denoting a belief that I
had power to answer it, that I felt no choice in making a plain
reply. Simply, then, "I understand,
Page 201
ma'am," I said, "that he means to go to-morrow morning
early."
"Will he stay on to-night, then, at Worcester?"
"N-o, ma'am, I believe not."
"I thought he meant to leave us to-day? He said so."
"He intended it, ma'am,--he would else not have said it."
"I know I understood so, though he has not spoke to me of his
designs this great while."
I saw an air bordering upon displeasure as this was said and how
sorry I felt!--and how ashamed of being concluded the person
better informed! Yet, as he had really related to me his plan,
and I knew it to be what he had thought most respectful to
herself, I concluded it best, thus catechised, to speak it all,
and therefore, after some hesitation uninterrupted by her, I
said, "I believe, ma'am, Mr. Fairly had intended fully to begin
his journey to-day, but, as Your majesty is to go to the play
to-night, he thinks it his duty to defer setting out till
to-morrow, that he may have the honour to attend your majesty as
usual."
This, which was the exact truth, evidently pleased her.
Here the inquiry dropped; but I was very uneasy to relate it to
Mr. Fairly, that the sacrifice I knew he meant to make of another
day might not lose all its grace by wanting to be properly
revealed.
MR. FAIRLY MORALIZES.
Our journey back to Cheltenham was much more quiet than it had
been to Worcester, for the royal party too], another route to see
Malvern hills, and we went straight forward.
Miss Planta having now caught the influenza, suffered very much
all the way, and I persuaded her immediately to lie down when we
got to Fauconberg Hall. She could not come down to dinner, which
I had alone. The Princess Elizabeth came to me after it, with
her majesty's permission that I might go to the play with my
usual party ; but I declined it, that I might make some tea for
poor Miss Planta, as she had no maid, nor any creature to help
her. The princess told me they were all going first upon the
walks, to promener till the play time.
I sat down to make my solitary tea, and had just sent up a basin
to Miss Planta, when, to my equal surprise and pleasure, Mr.
Fairly entered the room. "I come now," he said, "to take my
leave."
They were all, he added, gone to the walks, whither he must
Page 202
in a few minutes follow them, and thence attend to the play, and
the next morning, by five o'clock, be ready for his post-chaise.
Seeing me, however, already making tea, with his Usual and
invariable sociability he said he would venture to stay and
partake, though he was only come, he gravely repeated, to take
his leave.
"And I must not say," cried I, "that I am sorry you are going,
because I know so well you wish to be gone that it makes me wish
it for you myself."
"No," answered he, "you must not be sorry; when our friends are
going to any joy. We must think of them, and be glad to part
with them."
Readily entering the same tone, with similar plainness of truth I
answered, No, I will not be sorry you go, though miss you at
Cheltenham I certainly must."
"Yes," was his unreserved assent, "you will miss me here, because
I have spent my evenings with you; but You Will not long remain
at Cheltenham."
Oim`e!" thought I, you little think how much Worse will be the
quitting it. He owned that the bustle and fatigue of this life
was too much both for his health and his spirits.
I told him I Wished it might be a gratification to him, in his
toils, to hear how the queen always spoke of him; With what
evident and constant complacency and distinction. "And you may
credit her sincerity," I added, "Since it is to so little a
person as me she does this, and when no one else is present."
He was not insensible to this, though he passed it over without
much answer. He showed me a letter from his second son, very
affectionate and natural. I congratulated him, most sincerely,
on his approaching happiness in collecting them all together.
"Yes he answered, "my group will increase, like a snow-ball, as I
roll along, and they will soon all four be as happy as four
little things know how to be."
This drew him on into some reflections upon affection and upon
happiness. "There is no happiness," he said, "without
participation; no participation without affection. There is,
indeed, in affection a charm that leaves all things behind it,
and renders even every calamity that does not interfere with it
inconsequential and there is no difficulty, no toil, no labour,
no exertion, that will not be endured where there is a view of
reaping it."
He ruminated some time, and then told me of a sermon he had heard
preached some months ago, sensibly demonstrating
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the total vanity and insufficiency, even for this world, of all
our best affections, and proving their fallibility from our most
infirm humanity.
My concurrence did not here continue: I cannot hold this doctrine
to be right, and I am most sure it is not desirable. our best
affections, I must and do believe, were given us for the best
purposes, for every stimulation to good, and every solace in
evil.
But this was not a time for argument. I said nothing, while he,
melancholy and moralizing, continued in this style as long as he
could venture to stay. He then rose and took his hat, saying, "
Well, so much for the day; what may come to-morrow I know not;
but, be it what it may, I stand prepared."
I hoped, I told him, that his little snowball would be all he
could wish it, and I was heartily glad he would so soon collect
it.
"We will say," cried he, "nothing of any regrets," and bowed, and
was hastening off.
The "we," however, had an openness and simplicity that drew from
me an equally open and simple reply. "No," I cried, "but I will
say-for that you will have pleasure in hearing that you have
lightened my time here in a manner that no one else could have
done, of this party."
To be sure this was rather a circumscribed compliment, those he
left considered - but it was strict and exact truth, and
therefore like his own dealing. He said not a word of answer,
but bowed, and went away, leaving me firmly impressed with a
belief that I shall find in him a true, an honourable, and even
an affectionate friend, for life.
MAJOR PRICE IS TIRED OF RETIREMENT.
Sunday, Aug. 10.-Major Price was of the breakfast party this
morning, to my great contentment. I heartily wish he was again
in the king's household, he is so truly attached to his majesty,
and he so earnestly himself wishes for a restoration, not to the
equerryship, which is too laborious an office, but to any
attendance upon the king's person of less fatigue.
He opened to me very much upon his situation and wishes. he has
settled himself in a small farm near the house of his eldest
brother, but I could see too plainly he has not found there the
contentment that satisfies him. He sighs for society ; he owns
books are insufficient for everything, and his evenings
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begin already to grow wearisome. He does not wish it to be
talked of publicly, but he is solicitous to return to the king,
in any place attached to his person, of but mild duty. Not only
the king, he said, he loved, but all his society, and the way of
life in general; and he had no tie whatsoever to Herefordshire
that would make him hesitate a moment in quitting it, if another
place could be made adequate to his fortune. His income was
quite too small for any absence from his home of more than a few
weeks, in its present plight; and therefore it could alone be by
some post under government that he must flatter himself with ever
returning to the scenes he had left.
How rarely does a plan of retirement answer the expectations upon
which it is raised! He fears having this suspected, and
therefore keeps the matter to himself; but I believe he so much
opened it to me, in the hope I might have an opportunity to make
it known where it might be efficacious; for he told me, at the
same time, he apprehended his majesty had a notion his fondness
for Herefordshire, not his inability to continue equerry, had
occasioned his resignation.
I shall certainly make it my business to hint this to the queen.
So faithful and attached a servant ought not to be thrown aside,
and, after nine years' service, left unrewarded, and seem
considered as if superannuated.
MR. FAIRLY'S LITTLE NOTE.
When I came from her majesty, just before she went down to
dinner, I was met by a servant who delivered me a letter, which
he told me was just come by express. I took it in some alarm,
fearing that ill news alone could bring it by such haste, but,
before I could open it, he said, "'Tis from Mr. Fairly, ma'am."
I hastened to read, and will now copy it:-
"Northleach, Aug. 10, 1788.
"Her majesty may possibly not have heard that Mr. Edmund Waller
died on Thursday night. He was master of St. Catherine's, which
is in her majesty's gift. It may be useful to her to have this
early intelligence of this circumstance, and you will have the
goodness to mention it to her. Mr. W. was at a
house upon his own estate within a mile and a half of this place,
Very truly and sincerely yours,
"S. Fairly."
"Miss Burney, Fauconberg Hall."
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How to communicate this news, however, was a real distress to me.
I know her majesty is rather scrupulous that all messages
immediately to herself should be conveyed by the highest
channels, and I feared she would think this ought to have been
sent through her lady then in waiting, Lady Harcourt. Mr.
Fairly, too, however superior to such small matters for himself,
is most punctiliously attentive to them for her. I could
attribute this only to haste. But my difficulty was not alone to
have received the intelligence-the conclusion of the note I was
sure would surprise her. The rest, as a message to herself,
being without any beginning, would not strike her; but the words
"very truly and sincerely yours," come out with such an abrupt
plainness, and to her, who knows not with what intimacy of
intercourse we have lived together so much during this last
month, I felt quite ashamed to show them.
While wavering how to manage, a fortunate circumstance seemed to
come to my relief; the Princess Elizabeth ran up hastily to her
room, which is just opposite to mine, before she followed the
queen down to dinner; I flew after her, and told her I had just
heard of the death of Mr. Waller, the Master of St. Catherine's,
and I begged her to communicate it to her majesty.
She undertook it, with her usual readiness to oblige, and I was
quite delighted to have been so speedy without producing my note,
which I determined now not even to mention unless called upon,
and even then not to produce; for now, as I should not have the
first telling, it might easily be evaded by not having it in my
pocket.
The moment, however, that the dinner was over, Princess Elizabeth
came to summon me to the queen. This was very unexpected, as I
thought I should not see her till night; but I locked up my note
and followed.
She was only with the princesses. I found the place was of
importance, by the interest she took about it. She asked me
several questions relative to Mr. Waller. I answered her all I
could collect from my note, for further never did I hear; but the
moment I was obliged to stop she said, "Pray have you known him
long?"
"I never knew him at all, ma'am."
"No? Why, then, how came you to receive the news about his
death?"
Was not this agreeable? I was forced to say, "I heard of it only
from Mr. Fairly, ma'am."
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Nothing Could exceed the surprise with which she now lifted up
her eyes to look at me. "From Mr. Fairly?--Why did he not tell
it me?"
O, worse and worse! I was now compelled to answer, "He did not
know It when he was here, ma'am; he heard it at Northleach, and,
thinking it might be of use to your majesty to have the account
immediately, he sent it over express."
A dead silence so uncomfortable ensued, that I thought it best
presently to go on further, though unasked.
"Mr. Fairly, ma'am, wrote the news to me, on such small paper,
and in such haste, that it is hardly fit to he shown to your
majesty; but I have the note upstairs."
No answer; again all silent; and then Princess Augusta said,
"Mamma, Miss Burney says she has the note upstairs."
"If your majesty pleases to see it"--
She looked up again, much more pleasantly, and said, "I shall be
glad to see it," with a little bow.
Out I went for it, half regretting I had not burned it, to make
the producing it impossible. When I brought it to her, she
received it with the most gracious smile, and immediately read it
aloud, with great complacency, till she came to the end and then,
with a lowered and somewhat altered tone, the "very truly and
sincerely yours," which she seemed to look at for a moment with
some doubt if it were not a mistake, but in returning it she
bowed again, and simply said, "I am very much obliged to Mr.
Fairly."
You will be sure how much I was pleased during this last week to
hear that the place of the Master of St. Catherine's was given by
her majesty to Mr. Fairly. It is reckoned the best in her gift,
as a sinecure. What is the income I know not: reports differ
from 400 to 500 per annum.
THE RETURN TO WINDSOR.
Saturday, Aug. 16.-We left Cheltenham early this morning. Major
Price breakfasted with us, and was so melancholy at the king's
departure he could hardly speak a word. All Cheltenham was drawn
out into the High-street, the gentles on one side and the commons
on the other, and a band, and "God save the king," playing and
singing.
My dear Port, with all her friends, was there for a last look,
and a sorrowful one we interchanged; Mr. Seward also, whom again
I am not likely to meet for another two years at least.
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The journey was quite without accident or adventure.
And thus ends the Cheltenham episode. May I not justly call it
so, different as it is to all the mode of life I have hitherto
lived here, or alas I am in a way to live henceforward?
melancholy--most melancholy-was the return to Windsor destitute
of all that could solace, compose, or delight ; replete with
whatever could fatigue, harass, and depress! Ease, leisure,
elegant society, and interesting communication, were now to give
place to arrogant manners, contentious disputation, and arbitrary
ignorance! Oh, heaven! my dearest friends, what scales could
have held and have weighed the heart of your F.B. as she drove
past the door of her revered, lost comforter, to enter the
apartment inhabited by such qualities!
But before I quit this journey let me tell one very pleasant
anecdote. When we stopped to change horses at Burford I alighted
and went into the inn, to meet Mrs. Gast, to whom I had sent by
Mrs. Frodsham a request to be there as we passed through the
town. I rejoiced indeed to see again the sister of our first and
wisest friend. My Susanna, who knows her too enthusiastic
character, will easily suppose my reception. I was folded in her
arms, and bathed in her tears all my little stay, and my own,
from reflected tenderness for her ever-honoured, loved, and
lamented brother, would not be kept quite back; 'twas a species
of sorrowful joy--painful, yet pleasing--that seemed like a fresh
tribute to his memory and my affection, and made the meeting
excite an emotion that occupied my mind and reflections almost
all the rest of my journey.
She inquired most kindly after my dear father and my Susanna, and
separately and with interest of all the rest of the family; but
her surprise to see me now, by this most un expected journey,
when she had concluded me inevitably shut up from her sight for
the remainder of her life, joined to the natural warmth of her
disposition, seemed almost to suffocate her. I was very sorry to
leave her, but my time was unavoidably short and hurried. I
inquired after Chesington, and heard very good accounts.
AT WINDSOR AGAIN THE CANON AND MRS. SCHWELLENBERG.
Windsor, Sunday, Aug. 17.-This day, after our arrival, began
precisely the same as every day preceding our journey. The
Sleeping Beauty in the Wood could not awake more completely to
the same scene; yet I neither have been asleep, nor
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am quite a beauty! O! I wish I were as near to the latter as the
former at this minute!
We had all the set assembled to congratulate his majesty on his
return--generals and colonels without end. I was very glad while
the large party lasted, its diminution into a solitary pair
ending in worse than piquet--a tête-à-tête!--and such a one,
too! after being so spoiled!
Monday, Aug. 18.-Well, now I have a new personage to introduce to
you, and no small one; ask else the stars, moon and planets!
While I was surrounded with bandboxes, and unpacking, Dr.
Shepherd was announced. Eager to make his compliments on the
safe return, he forced a passage through the back avenues and
stairs, for he told me he did not like being seen coming to me at
the front door, as it might create some jealousies amongst the
other canons! A very commendable circumspection! but whether for
my sake or his own he did not particularize.
M. de Lalande, he said, the famous astronomer,(290) was just
arrived in England, and now at Windsor, and he had expressed a
desire to be introduced to me.
Well, while he was talking this over, and I was wondering and
evading, entered Mr. Turbulent. What a surprise at sight of the
reverend canon! The reverend canon, also, was interrupted and
confused, fearing, possibly, the high honour he did me might now
transpire amongst his brethren, notwithstanding his generous
efforts to spare them its knowledge.
Mr. Turbulent, who looked big with heroics, was quite provoked to
see he had no chance of giving them vent. They each outstayed
the patience of the other, and at last both went off together.
Some hours after, however, while I was dressing, the canon
returned. I could not admit him, and bid Goter tell him at the
door I was not visible. He desired he might wait till I was
ready, as he had business of importance. I would not let him
into the next room, but said he might stay in the eating-parlour.
When I was dressed I sent Goter to bring him in. She came back,
grinning and colouring,; she had not found him, she said, but
only Mrs. Schwellenberg, who was there alone, and had
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called her in to know what she wanted. She answered she came to
seek for a gentleman.
"There's no gentleman," she cried, "to come into my parlour. it
is not permit. When he comes I will have it locked up."
O, ho, my poor careful canon! thought I. However, soon after a
tap again at my door introduced him. He said he had been waiting
below in the passage, as he saw Madame Schwellenberg in the
parlour, and did not care to have her know him; but his business
was to settle bringing M. de Lalande to see me in the evening. I
told him I was much honoured, and so forth, but that I received
no evening company, as I was officially engaged.
He had made the appointment, he said, and could not break it
without affronting him; besides, he gave me to understand it
would be an honour to me for ever to be visited by so great an
astronomer. I agreed as to that, and was forced, moreover, to
agree to all the rest, no resource remaining
I mentioned to her majesty the state of the case. She thought
the canon very officious, and disapproved the arrangement, but
saw it was unavoidable.
But when the dinner came I was asked by the présidente, "What for
send you gentlemen to my parlour?"
" I was dressing, ma'am, and could not possibly receive company
in mine, and thought the other empty."
"Empty or full is the same! I won't have it. I will lock up the
room when it is done so. No, no, I won't have no gentlemen here;
it is not permit, perticklere when they Nvon't not speak to me!"
I then heard that "a large man, what you call," had entered that
sacred domain, and seeing there a lady, had quitted it "bob
short!"
I immediately explained all that had passed, for I had no other
way to save myself from an imputation of favouring the visits and
indiscretion of this most gallant canon.
"Vell, when he comes so often he might like you. For what won't
you not marry him?"
This was coming to the point, and so seriously, I found myself
obliged to be serious in answer, to avoid misconstruction, and to
assure her, that were he Archbishop of Canterbury, and actually
at my feet, I would not become archbishopess.
"Vell, you been right when you don't not like him; I don't not
like the men neither: not one from them!"
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So this settled us very amicably till tea-time, and in the midst
of that, with a room full of people, I was called out by
Westerhaults to Dr. Shepherd!
Mrs. Schwellenberg herself actually te-he'd at this, and I could
not possibly help laughing myself, but I hurried into the next
room, where I found him with his friend, M. de Lalande. What a
reception awaited me! how unexpected a one from a famed and great
astronomer.
COMPLIMENTS FROM A FAMOUS FOREIGN ASTRONOMER.
M. de Lalande advanced to meet me---I will not be quite positive
it was on tiptoe, but certainly with a mixture of jerk and strut
that could not be quite flat-footed. He kissed my hand with the
air of a petit-maître, and then broke forth into such an harangue
of éloges, so solemn with regard to its own weight and
importance, and so fade(291) with respect to the little personage
addressed, that I could not help thinking it lucky for the
planets, stars, and sun, they were not bound to hear his
comments, though obliged to undergo his calculations.
On my part sundry profound reverences, with now and then an "O,
monsieur!" or "c'est trop d'honneur," acquitted me so well, that
the first harangue being finished, on the score of general and
grand reputation, éloge the second began, on the excellency with
which "cette célèbre demoiselle" spoke French!
This may surprise you, my dear friends; but You must consider M.
de Lalande is a great discoverer.
Well, but had you seen Dr. Shepherd! he looked lost in sleek
delight and wonder, that a person to whom he had introduced M. de
Lalande should be an object for such fine speeches.
This gentleman's figure, meanwhile, corresponds no better with
his discourse than his scientific profession, for he is an ugly
little wrinkled old man, with a fine showy waistcoat, rich lace
ruffles, and the grimaces of a dentist. I believe he chose to
display that a Frenchman of science could be also a man of
gallantry.
I was seated between them, but the good doctor made no greater
interruption to the florid professor than I did myself; he only
grinned applause, with placid, but ineffable satisfaction.
Nothing therefore intervening, éloge the third followed, after a
pause no longer than might be necessary for due admiration
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of éloge the second. This had for sujet the fair female sex; how
the ladies were now all improved; how they could write, and read,
and spell; how a man now-a-days might talk with them and be
understood, and how delightful it was to see such pretty
creatures turned rational!
And all this, of course, interspersed with particular
observations and most pointed applications; nor was there in the
whole string of compliments which made up the three bouquets, one
single one amongst them that might have disgraced any petit
maître to utter, or any petite maîtresse to hear.
The third being ended, a rather longer pause ensued. I believe
he was dry, but I offered him no tea. I would not voluntarily be
accessory to detaining such great personages from higher
avocations. I wished him next to go and study the stars: from
the moon he seemed so lately arrived there was little occasion
for another journey.
I flatter myself he was of the same opinion, for the fourth éloge
was all upon his unhappiness in tearing himself away from so much
merit, and ended in as many bows as had accompanied his entrance.
I suppose, in going, he said, with a shrug, to the canon, "M. le
docteur, c'est bien gênant, mais il faut dire des jolies choses
aux dames!"(293)
He was going the next day to see Dr. Maskelyne's observatory.
Well! I have had him first in mine!
I was obliged on my return to the tea-room to undergo much dull
raillery from my fair companion, and Much of wonder that "since
the canon had such good preferment" I did not "marry him at
once," for he "would not come so often if he did not want it."
THE PRINCE EYES MISS BURNEY CURIOUSLY.
Tuesday, Aug. 18.--The Duke of York's birthday was kept this day,
instead of Saturday, that Sunday morning might not interfere with
the ball.
The Prince of Wales arrived early, while I was yet with the
queen. He kissed her hand, and she sent for the princesses.
Only Princess Elizabeth and Princess Sophia were dressed. Her
majesty went into the next room with Mrs. Sandys, to have her
shoes put on, with which she always finishes. The prince and
princesses then chatted away most fluently.
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Princess Elizabeth frequently addressed me with great sweetness
but the prince only with curious eyes. Do not, however,
understand that his looks were either haughty or impertinent far
from it ; they were curious, however, in the extreme.
COLONEL MANNERS'S BEATING.
Colonel Manners made me laugh as If I had been at a farce, by his
history of the late Westminster election, in which Lord John
Townshend conquered Lord Hood. Colonel Manners is a most eager
and active partisan on the side of the government, but so
indiscreet, that he almost regularly gets his head broke at every
contested election; and he relates it as a thing of course.
I inquired if he pursued his musical studies, so happily begun
with Colonel Wellbred? "Why," answered he, "not much, because of
the election; but the thing is, to get an ear: however, I think I
have got one, because I know a tune when I hear it, if it's one
that I've heard before a good many times so I think that's a
proof. but I can never get asked to a concert, and that keeps me
a little behind."
"Perhaps," cried I, "your friends conclude you have music enough
in your three months' waiting to satisfy you for all the year?"
"O, ma'am, as to that, I'd just as lief hear so many pots and
pans rattled together; one noise is just as well as another to
me."
I asked him whether his electioneering with so much activity did
not make his mother, Lady Robert, a little uneasy?--N.B. She is
a methodist.
"O, it does her a great deal of good," cried he;"for I could
never get her to meddle before ; but when I'd had my head broke,
it provoked her so, she went about herself canvassing among the
good people,--and she got us twenty votes."
"So then," cried Colonel Goldsworthy, "there are twenty good
people in the world? That's your calculation, is it?"
Mr. Fisher, who just then came in, and knew nothing of what had
passed, starting the election, said to Colonel Manners, "So, sir,
you have been beat, I hear!"
He meant only his party ; but his person having shared the same
fate, occasioned a violent shout among the rest at this innocent
speech, and its innocent answer - for Colonel Man-
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ners, looking only a little surprised, simply said, "Yes, I was
beat, a little."
"A little, sir?" exclaimed Mr. Fisher, "no, a great deal you were
shamefully beat--thrashed thoroughly."
In the midst of a violent second shout, Colonel Manners only
said, "Well, I always hated all that party, and now I hate them
worse than ever."
"Ay, that I'll be bound for you," cried Colonel Goldsworthy.
"Yes for having been so drubbed by them," cried Mr. Fisher.
As I now, through all his good humour, saw Colonel Manners
colour a little, I said in a low voice to Mr. Fisher, "Pray is it
in innocence, or in malice, that you use these terms."
I saw his innocence by his surprise, and I whispered him the
literal state of all he said; he was quite shocked, and coloured
in his turn, apologising instantly to Colonel Manners, and
protesting he had never heard of his personal ill usage, but only
meant the defeat of his party.
MR. FAIRLY IS DISCUSSED BY HIS BROTHER EQUERRIES.
Everybody was full of Mr. Fairly's appointment, and spoke of it
with pleasure. General Budé had seen him in town, where he had
remained some days, to take the oaths, I believe, necessary for
his place. General Budé has long been intimate with him, and
spoke of his character exactly as it has appeared to me; and
Colonel Goldsworthy, who was at Westminster with him, declared he
believed a better man did not exist. "This, in particular,"
cried General Budé, "I must say of Fairly: whatever he thinks
right he pursues straightforward and I believe there is not a
sacrifice upon earth that he would not make, rather than turn a
moment out of the path that he had an opinion it was his duty to
keep in."
They talked a good deal of his late lady; none of them knew her
but very slightly, as she was remarkably reserved. "More than
reserved," cried General Budé, "she was quite cold. Yet she
loved London and public life, and Fairly never had any taste for
them; in that they were very mal assortis, but in all other
things very happy."
"Yes," cried Colonel Goldsworthy, "and how shall we give praise
enough to a man that would be happy himself, and make
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his wife so too, for all that difference of opinion ? for it was
all his management, and good address, and good temper. I hardly
know such another man."
General Budé then related many circumstances of his most
exemplary conduct during the illness of his poor suffering wife,
and after her loss; everybody, indeed, upon the occasion of this
new appointment, has broke forth to do justice to his deserving
it. Mrs. Ariana Egerton, who came twice to drink tea with me on
my being sensa Cerbera, told me that her brother-in-law, Colonel
Masters, who had served with him at Gibraltar, protested there
was not an officer in the army of a nobler and higher character,
both professional and personal.
She asked me a thousand questions of what I thought about Miss
Fuzilier? She dislikes her so very much, she cannot bear to
think of her becoming Mrs. Fairly. She has met with some marks
of contempt from her in their official meetings at St. James's,
that cannot be pardoned. Miss Fuziller, indeed, seemed to me
formerly, when I used to meet her in company, to have an
uncertainty of disposition that made her like two persons; now
haughty, silent, and supercilious--and then gentle, composed, and
interesting. She Is, however, very little liked, the worst being
always what most spreads abroad.
BARON TRENCK: MR. TURBULENT"S RAILLERY.
Sept. 1.-Peace to the manes of the poor slaughtered partridges!
I finished this morning the "Memoirs of Baron Trenck," which have
given me a great deal of entertainment; I mean in the first
volume, the second containing not more matter than might fill
four pages. But the singular hardiness, gallantry, ferocity, and
ingenuity of this copy of the knights of ancient times, who has
happened to be born since his proper epoch, have wonderfully
drawn me on, and I could not rest without finishing his
adventures. They are reported to be chiefly of his own
invention; but I really find an air of self-belief in his
relations, that inclines me to think he has but narrated what he
had persuaded himself was true. His ill-usage is such as to
raise the utmost indignation in every reader and if it really
affected his memory and imagination, and became thence the parent
of some few embellishments and episodes, I can neither wonder nor
feel the interest of his narrative diminished.
Sept. 2.-Mr. Turbulent was in high rage that I was utterly
Page 215
invisible since my return from Cheltenham; he protested he had
called seven times at my door without gaining admission, and
never was able to get in but when " Dr. Shepherd had led the
way.
He next began a mysterious attack upon the proceedings of
Cheltenham. He had heard, he said, strange stories of
flirtations there. I could not doubt what he meant, but I would
not seem to understand him: first, because I know not from whom
he has been picking up this food for his busy spirit, since no
one there appeared collecting it for him ; and secondly, because
I would not degrade an acquaintance which I must hope will prove
as permanent as it is honourable, by conceiving the word
flirtation to be possibly connected with it.
By every opportunity, in the course of the day, he renewed this
obscure raillery; but I never would second it, either by question
or retort, and therefore it cannot but die away unmeaningly as it
was born. Some effect, however, it seems to have had upon him,
who has withdrawn all his own heroics, while endeavouring to
develop what I have received elsewhere.
AMIABLE MRS. SCHWELLENBERG AGAIN.
Sept. 4.-To-day there was a Drawing-room, and I had the blessing
of my dearest father while it lasted; but not solus; he was
accompanied by my mother; and my dear Esther and her little
innocent Sophy spent part of the time with us. I am to be
god-mother to the two little ones, Esther's and James's. Heaven
bless them!
We returned to Kew to a late dinner; and, indeed, I had one of
the severest evenings I ever passed, where my heart took no share
in unkindness and injustice. I was wearied in the extreme, as I
always am on these drawing-room days, which begin with full
hair-dressing at six o'clock in the morning, and hardly ever
allow any breakfast time, and certainly only standing, except
while frizzing, till the drawing-room commences; and then two
journeys in that decked condition--and then another dressing,
with three dressing attendances--and a dinner at near seven
o'clock.
Yet, not having power to be very amusing after all this, I was
sternly asked by Mrs. Schwellenberg, "For what I did not talk?"
I answered simply, "Because I was tired."
"You tired!--what have you done? when I used to do so much more-
-you tired! what have you to do but to be happy:
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--have you the laces to buy? have you the wardrobe to part? have
you--you tired? Vell, what will become next, when you have every
happiness!--you might not be tired. No, I can't bear It."
This, and so much more than it would be possible to write, all
uttered with a haughtiness and contempt that the lowest servant
could not have brooked receiving, awoke me pretty completely,
though before I was scarce able to keep my eyelids a moment open;
but so sick I turned, that indeed it was neither patience nor
effort that enabled me to hear her; I had literally hardly
strength, mental or bodily, to have answered her. Every
happiness mine!--O gracious heaven! thought I, and is this the
companion of my leisure--the associate of my life! Ah, my dear
friends, I will not now go on--I turn sick again.
A ROYAL JOKE.
Sept. 29.-The birth-day of our lovely eldest princess.
It happens to be also the birth-day of Miss Goldsworthy; and
her majesty, in a sportive humour, bid me, as soon as she
was dressed, go and bring down the two "Michaelmas geese."
I told the message to the Princess Augusta, who repeated It
in its proper words. I attended them to the queen's dressing-
room, and there had the pleasure to see the cadeaux
presentations. The birth-days in this house are made extremely
interesting at the moment, by the reciprocations of presents and
congratulations in this affectionate family. Were they but
attended with less of toil (I hate to add ette, for I am sure it
is not little toil), I should like them amazingly.
COLONEL GOLDSWORTHY'S BREACH OF ETIQUETTE.
Mrs. Schwellenberg has become both colder and fiercer. I cannot
now even meet her eyes-they are almost terrifying. Nothing upon
earth having passed between us, nor the most remote subject of
offence having occurred, I have only one thing on which to rest
my conjectures, for the cause of this newly-awakened evil spirit,
and this is from the gentlemen. They had all of late been so
wearied that they could not submit even for a quarter of an hour
to her society : they had swallowed a dish of tea and quitted the
room all in five minutes, and Colonel Goldsworthy in particular,
when without any companion in his waiting, had actually always
fallen asleep,
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even during that short interval, or at least shut his
eyes, to save himself the toil of speaking.
This she brooked very ill, but I was esteemed innocent, and
therefore made, occasionally, the confidant of her complaints.
But lately, that she has been ill, and kept upstairs every night,
she has always desired me to come to her as soon as tea was over,
which, she observed, "need not keep me five minutes." On the
contrary, however, the tea is now at least an hour, and often
more.
I have been constantly received with reproaches for not coming
sooner, and compelled to declare I had not been sooner at
liberty. This has occasioned a deep and visible resentment, all
against them, yet vented upon me, not in acknowledged
displeasure--pride there interfered--but in constant ill-humour,
ill-breeding, and ill-will.
At length, however, she has broken out into one inquiry, which,
if favourably answered, might have appeased all; but truth was
too strongly in the way. A few evenings after her confinement
she very gravely said, "Colonel Goldsworthy always sleeps with
me! sleeps he with you the same?"
In the midst of all my irksome discomfort, it was with difficulty
I could keep my countenance at this question, which I was forced
to negative.
The next evening she repeated it. "Vell, sleeps he yet with you-
-Colonel Goldsworthy?"
"Not yet, ma'am," I hesitatingly answered.
"O! ver vell! he will sleep with nobody but me! O, i von't come
down."
And a little after she added, "I believe he vill marry you."
"I believe not, ma'am," I answered.
And then, very gravely,, she proposed him to me, saying he only
wanted a little encouragement, for he was always declaring he
wished for a wife, and yet wanted no fortune-" so for what won't
you not have him?"
I assured her we were both perfectly well satisfied apart, and
equally free from any thoughts of each other.
"Then for what," she cried, "won't you have Dr. Shepherd?" She
Is now in the utmost haste to dispose of me! And then she added
she had been told that Dr. Shepherd would marry me!
She is an amazing woman ! Alas, I might have told her I knew too
well what it was to be tied to a companion ill-assorted and
unbeloved, where I could not help myself, to
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make any such experiment as a volunteer!
If she asks me any more about Colonel Goldsworthy and his
sleeping, I think I will answer I am too near-sighted to be sure
if he is awake or not!
However, I cannot but take this stroke concerning the table
extremely ill; for though amongst things of the very least
consequence in itself, it is more openly designed as an affront
than any step that has been taken with me yet.
I have given the colonel a hint, however,-that he may keep awake
in future. . . .
ILLNESS OF MRS. SCHWELLENBERG.
Oct. 2.-Mrs. Schwellenberg, very ill indeed, took leave of the
queen at St. James's, to set off for Weymouth, in company with
Mrs. Hastings. I was really very sorry for her; she was truly in
a situation Of suffering, from bodily pain, the most pitiable. I
thought, as I looked at her, that if the ill-humours I so often
experience could relieve her, I would consent to bear them
unrepining, in preference to seeing or knowing her so ill. But
it is just the contrary; spleen and ill-temper only aggravate
disease, and while they involve others in temporary participation
of their misery, twine it around themselves in bandages almost
stationary. She was civil, too, poor woman. I suppose when
absent she could not well tell why she had ever been otherwise.
GENERAL GRENVILLE'S REGIMENT AT DRILL.
Oct. 9.-I go on now pretty well; and I am so much acquainted with
my party, that when no strangers are added, I begin to mind
nothing but the first entree of my male visitants. My royal
mistress is all sweetness to me; Miss Planta is most kind and
friendly; General Budé is ever the same, and ever what I do not
wish to alter; Colonel Goldsworthy seems coming round to
good-humour; and even General Grenville begins to grow sociable.
He has quitted the corner into which he used to cast his long
figure, merely to yawn and lounge ; and though yawn and lounge he
does still, and must, I believe, to the end of the chapter, he
yet does it in society, and mixes between it loud sudden laughter
at what is occasionally said, and even here and there a question
relative to what is going forward. Nay-yesterday he even seated
himself at the tea
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table, and amused himself by playing with my work-box, and making
sundry inquiries about its contents.
Oct. 10.-This evening, most unwittingly, I put my new neighbour's
good-humour somewhat to the test. He asked me whether I had
walked out in the morning? Yes, I answered, I always walked.
"And in the Little park?" cried he. Yes, I said, and to Old
Windsor, and round the park wall, and along the banks of the
Thames, and almost to Beaumont Lodge, and in the avenue of the
Great park, and in short, in all the vicinage of Windsor. "But
in the Little park?" he cried.
Still I did not understand him, but plainly answered, "Yes, this
morning,; and indeed many mornings."
"But did you see nothing--remark nothing there?
No, not that I recollect, except some soldiers drilling."
You never heard such a laugh as now broke forth from all for,
alas for my poor eyes, there had been in the Little park General
Grenville's whole regiment, with all his officers, and himself at
their head! Fortunately it is reckoned one of the finest in the
king's service : this I mentioned, adding that else I could never
again appear before him.
He affected to be vehemently affronted, but hardly knew how, even
in joke, to appear so ; and all the rest helped the matter on, by
saying that they should know now how to distinguish his regiment,
which henceforth must always be called " the drill."
The truth is, as soon as I perceived a few red-coats I had turned
another way, to avoid being marched at, and therefore their
number and splendour had all been thrown away upon me.
(278) "Cerbera" was Fanny's not inappropriate name for
Mrs. Schwellenberg.-ED.
(279) By William Falconer, born at Edinburgh in 1730. His poem,
"The Shipwreck," was suggested by his own experience at sea, and
was first published in 1762. Falconer sailed for Bengal in 1769,
the vessel touched at the Cape in December, and was never heard
of more.-ED.
(280) In the "European Magazine" for May 1788, appeared an
article from the pen of Baretti, headed "On Signora Piozzi's
publication of Dr. Johnson's Letters, Stricture the First." It
is filled with coarse, personal abuse of the lady, whom the
author terms "the frontless female, who goes now by the mean
appellation of Piozzi." "Stricture the Second," in the same
tone, appeared the following month, and the "Third," which closed
the series, in August of the same year. In the last number
Baretti comments, with excessive bitterness, on Mrs. Piozzi's
second marriage.-ED.
(281) "Original Love-letters between a Lady of Quality and a
Person of Inferior Station." Dublin, 1784. Though by no means
devoid of "nonsense and romance," the little book is not
altogether undeserving of Colonel Digby's encomium. The story is
very slight, and concludes, quite unnecessarily and rather
unexpectedly, with the death of the gentleman, just as his good
fortune seems assured.-ED.
(282) Robert Raikes, who was born at Gloucester in 1735, was a
printer and the son of a printer. His father was proprietor of
the "Gloucester journal." In conjunction with the Rev. Mr.
Stocks, Raikes founded the institution of Sunday Schools in 1781.
He died at Gloucester in 1811.-ED.
(283) "Cui Bono? or, an Inquiry what Benefits can arise either to
the English or the Americans, the French, Spaniards, or Dutch,
from the greatest victories, or successes, in the present War,
being a Series of Letters, addressed to Monsieur Necker, late
Controller- General of the Finances of France," By Josiah Tucker,
D.D., published at Gloucester, 1781. The pamphlet was written in
the advocacy of a general peace, and attracted much attention.
The third edition appeared in 1782.-ED,
(284) Fanny alludes to an old adventure of Baretti's. He was
accosted in the Haymarket by a prostitute, October 6, 1769. The
woman was importunate, and the irritable Italian struck her on
the hand; upon which three men came up and attacked him. He then
drew a dagger in self defence, and mortally wounded one of his
assailants. Baretti was tried at the Old Bailey for murder,
October 20, and acquitted; Johnson, Burke, and Garrick appearing
as witnesses to his character.-ED.
(285) With all Fanny's partiality for the "sweet queen," the
evidences of that sweet creature's selfishness keep turning up in
a very disagreeable manner-ED.
(286)) "The Country Girl," Which is still occasionally performed,
is an adaptation by Garrick of one of the most brilliant, and
most indecent, of Restoration comedies--Wycherley's "Country
Wife." Mrs. Jordan played the part of "Peggy," the "Margery
Punchwife" of Wycherley's play. It was in this part that she
made her first appearance in London, at Drury Lane, October 18,
1785. She was one of the most admired actresses of her time.
Genest, who saw her, writes of her, "As an actress she never had
a superior in her proper line Mrs. Jordan's Country Girl, Romp,
Miss Hoyden, and all characters of that description were
exquisite--in breeches parts no actress can be put in competition
with her but Mrs. Woffington, and to Mrs. Woffington she was as
superior in point of voice as Mrs. Woffington was superior to her
in beauty" (viii. p. 430). Mrs. Jordan died at St. Cloud, July
5, 1816, aged fifty. There is an admirable portrait of her by
Romney in the character of the "Country Girl."-ED.
(287) See ante, vol. i., p. 151.-ED.
(288) Fanny's cousin, the son of Dr. Burney's brother, Richard
Burney of Worcester.-ED.
(289) The poem in question is the "Ode to the Evening Star," the
fifteenth of the first hook of Odes. Mr. Akenside, having paid
his tear on fair Olympia's virgin tomb, roams in quest of
Philomela's bower, and desires the evening star to send its
golden ray to guide him. it is pretty, however. The first
stanza runs as follows:--
"To night retired, the queen of heaven
With young Endymion strays;
And now to Hesper it is given
Awhile to rule the vacant sky,
Till she shall to her lamp supply
A stream of lighter rays."-ED.
(290) Joseph jérome le Français de Lalande, one of the most
distinguished of French astronomers. He was born in 1732, and
died in 1807.-ED.
(291) Silly: insipid.
(292) 'Tis too much honour."
(293) "'Tis very troublesome, but one must say pretty things to
ladies."
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