(1788.)
ROYAL VISIT TO CHELTENHAM.
(Since her establishment at Court we have not yet found Fanny so
content with her surroundings as she shows herself in the
following section of the " Diary." The comparative quiet of
country life at Cheltenham was far more to her taste than the
tiresome splendours of Windsor and St. James's. She had still,
it is true, her official duties to perform : it was Court life
still, but Court life en déshabille. But her time was otherwise
more at her own disposal, and, above all things, the absence of
"Cerbera," as she nicknamed the amiable Mrs. Schwellenberg and
the presence of Colonel Digby, contributed to restore to her
harassed mind that tranquillity which is so pleasantly apparent
in the following pages.
In the frequent society of Colonel Digby Fanny seems to have
found an enjoyment peculiarly adapted to her reserved and
sensitive disposition. The colonel was almost equally retiring
and sensitive with herself, and his natural seriousness was
deepened by sorrow for the recent loss of his wife. A
similarity of tastes, as well as (in some respects) of
disposition, drew him continually to Fanny's tea-table, and the
gentleness of his manners, the refined and intellectual character
of his conversation, so unlike the Court gossip to which she was
usually condemned to remain a patient listener, caused her more
and more to welcome his visits and to regret his departure. "How
unexpected an indulgence," she writes, "a luxury, I may say, to
me, are these evenings now becoming!" The colonel reads to her-
-poetry, love-letters, even sermons, and while she listens to
such reading, and such a reader, her work goes on with an
alacrity that renders it all pleasure. The friendship which grew
up between them was evidently, at least on the part of Fanny, of
a more than ordinarily tender description. Whether, had
circumstances permitted, it might have ripened into a feeling yet
more tender, must remain a matter of speculation. Circumstances
did not permit, and in after years both married elsewhere.-ED.]
Page 155
THE ROYAL PARTY AND THEIR SUITE.
July.-Early in this month the king's indisposition occasioned
the plan of his going to Cheltenham, to try the effect of the
waters drank upon the spot. It was settled that the party should
be the smallest that was possible, as his majesty was to inhabit
the house of Lord Fauconberg, vacated for that purpose, which was
very small. He resolved upon only taking his equerry in waiting
and pages, etc. Lord Courtown, his treasurer of the household,
was already at Cheltenham, and therefore at hand to attend.
The queen agreed to carry her lady of the bedchamber in waiting,
with Miss Planta and F. B., and none others but wardrobe-women
for herself and the princesses.
Mr. Fairly was here almost all the month previously to our
departure. At first it was concluded he and Colonel Gwynn, the
equerry in waiting, were to belong wholly to the same table with
Miss Planta and me, and Mr. Fairly threatened repeatedly how well
we should all know one another, and how well he would study and
know us all au fond.
But before we set out the plan was all changed, for the king
determined to throw aside all state, and make the two gentlemen
dine at his own table. "We shall have, therefore," said Mr.
Fairly, with a very civil regret, "no tea-meetings at
Cheltenham."
This, however, was an opening- to me of time and leisure
such as I had never yet enjoyed.
Now, my dearest friends, I open an account which promises at
least all the charms of novelty, and which, if it fulfils its
promise, will make this month rather an episode than a
continuation of my prosaic performance. So now for yesterday,
Saturday, July 12.
We were all up at five o'clock; and the noise and confusion
reigning through the house, and resounding all around it, from
the quantities of people stirring, boxes nailing, horses
neighing, and dogs barking, was tremendous.
I must now tell you the party:--Their majesties; the princesses
Royal, Augusta, and Elizabeth; Lady Weymouth, Mr. Fairly,
Colonel Gwynn, Miss Planta, and a person you have sometimes met;
pages for king, queen, and princesses, ward-
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robe-women for ditto, and footmen for all. A smaller party for a
royal excursion cannot well be imagined. How we shall all manage
heaven knows. Miss Planta and myself are allowed no maid; the
house would not hold one.
The royal party set off first, to stop and breakfast at Lord
Harcourt's at Nuneham. You will easily believe Miss Planta and
myself were not much discomfited in having orders to proceed
straight forward. You know we have been at Nuneham!
Mrs. Sandys, the queen's wardrobe-woman, and Miss Macentomb, the
princesses', accompanied us. At Henley-on-Thames, at an inn
beautifully situated, we stopped to breakfast, and at Oxford to
take a sort of half dinner.
LOYALTY NOT DAMPED BY THE RAIN.
The crowd gathered together upon the road, waiting for the king
and queen to pass, was immense, and almost unbroken from Oxford
to Cheltenham. Every town and village within twenty miles seemed
to have been deserted, to supply all the pathways with groups of
anxious spectators. Yet, though so numerus, so quiet were they,
and so new to the practices of a hackneyed mob, that their
curiosity never induced them to venture within some yards of the
royal carriage, and their satisfaction never broke forth into
tumult and acclamation.
In truth, I believe they never were aware of the moment in which
their eagerness met its gratification. Their majesties travelled
wholly without guards or state; and I am convinced, from the time
we advanced beyond Oxford, they were taken only for their own
attendants.
All the towns through which we passed were filled with people, as
closely fastened one to another as they appear in the pit of the
playhouse. Every town seemed all face; and all the way upon the
road we rarely proceeded five miles without encountering a band
of most horrid fiddlers, scraping "God save the king" with all
their might, out of tune, out of time, and all in the rain; for,
most unfortunately, there were continual showers falling all the
day. This was really a subject for serious regret, such numbers
of men, women, and children being severely sufferers; yet
standing it all through with such patient loyalty, that I am
persuaded not even a hail or thunder storm would have dispersed
them.
The country, for the most part, that we traversed, was ex-
Page 157
tremely pretty; and, as we advanced nearer to our place Of
destination, it became quite beautiful.
ARRIVAL AT FAUCONBERG HALL.
When we arrived at Cheltenham, which is almost all one street,
extremely long, clean and well paved, we had to turn out of the
public way about a quarter of a mile, to proceed to Fauconberg
Hall, which my Lord Fauconberg has lent for the king's use during
his stay at this place.
it is, indeed, situated on a most sweet spot, surrounded with
lofty hills beautifully variegated, and bounded, for the
principal object, with the hills of Malvern, Which, here
barren, and there cultivated, here all chalk, and there all
verdure, reminded me of How hill, and gave Me an immediate
sensation of reflected as well as of visual pleasure, from giving
to my new habitation
some resemblance of NorbUry park.
When we had mounted the gradual ascent on which
the house stands,
the crowd all around it was as one head! We stopped within
twenty yards of the door, uncertain how to proceed. All the
royals were at the windows; and to pass this multitude--to wade
through it, rather,--was a most
disagreeable operation. However, we had no choice: we therefore
got out, and, leaving the wardrobe-women to find the way to the
back-door, Miss Planta and I glided on to the front one, where we
saw the two gentlemen and where, as soon as we got up the steps,
we encountered the king. He inquired
most graciously concerning our journey; and Lady Weymouth came
down-stairs to summon me to the queen, who was in excellent
spirits, and said she would show me her room.
"This, ma'am!" cried I, as I entered it--"is this little room for
your majesty?"
"O stay," cried she, laughing, "till you see your own before you
call it 'little'."
Soon after, she sent me upstairs for that purpose ; and then, to
be sure, I began to think less diminutively of that I had just
quitted.
Mine, with one window, has just space to crowd in a bed, a chest
of drawers, and three small chairs. The prospect
from the window, is extremely pretty, and all IS
new and clean. So I doubt not being very comfortable, as I am
senza Cerbera,(278)--though having no maid
is a real evil to
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one so little her own mistress as myself. I little wanted the
fagging of my own clothes and dressing, to add to my daily
fatigues.
I began a little unpacking and was called to dinner. Columb,
happily, is allowed me, and he will be very useful, I am sure.
Miss alone dined with me, and we are to be companions constant at
all meals, and t`ete-`a-t`ete, during this sejour. She is
friendly and well disposed, and I am perfectly content; and the
more, as I know she will not take up my leisure Unnecessarily,
for she finds sauntering in the open air very serviceable to her
health, and she has determined to make that her chief occupation.
Here, therefore, whenever I am not in attendance, or at meals, I
expect the singular comfort of having my time wholly unmolested,
and at my own disposal.
THE TEA-TABLE DIFFICULTY.
A little parlour, which formerly had belonged to Lord
Fauconberg's housekeeper, is now called mine, and here Miss
Planta and myself are to breakfast and dine. But for tea we
formed a new plan: as Mr. Fairly had himself told me he
understood there would be no tea-table at Cheltenham, I
determined to stand upon no ceremony with Colonel Gwynn, but
fairly and at once take and appropriate my afternoons to my own
inclinations. To prevent, therefore, any surprise or alteration,
we settled to have our tea upstairs.
But then a difficulty arose as to where ? We had each equally
small bed-rooms, and no dressing-room; but, at length, we fixed
on the passage, near a window looking over Malvern hills and much
beautiful country.
This being arranged, we went mutually on with our unpackings,
till we were both too thirsty to work longer. Having no maid to
send, and no bell to ring for my man, I then made out my way
downstairs, to give Columb directions for our teaequipage.
After two or three mistakes, of peering into royal rooms, I at
length got safe to my little parlour, but still was at a loss
where to find Columb; and while parading in and out, in hopes of
meeting with some assistant, I heard my name inquired for from
the front door. I looked out, and saw Mrs. Tracy, senior
bedchamber-woman to the queen. She is at Cheltenham for her
health, and came to pay her duty in inquiries, and so forth.
Page 159
I conducted her to my little store-room, for such it looks, from
its cupboards and short checked window curtains; and we chatted
upon the place and the expedition, till Columb came to tell me
that Mr. Fairly desired to speak with me. I waited upon him
immediately, in the passage leading to the kitchen stairs, for
that was my salle d'audience.
He was with Lord Courtown; they apologised for disturbing me, but
Mr. Fairly said he came to solicit leave that they might join my
tea-table for this night only, as they would give orders to be
supplied in their own apartments the next day, and not intrude
upon me any more, nor break into my time and retirement.
This is literally the first instance I have met, for now two
whole years, of being understood as to my own retiring
inclinations; and it is singular I should first meet with it from
the only person who makes them waver.
I begged them to come in, and ordered tea. They are well
acquainted with Mrs. Tracy, and I was very glad she happened to
stay.
Poor Miss Planta, meanwhile, I was forced to leave in the lurch;
for I could not propose the bed-room passage to my present
company, and she was undressed and unpacking.
Very soon the king, searching for his gentlemen, found out my
room, and entered. He admired It prodigiously, and inquired
concerning all our accommodations. He then gave Mr. Fairly a
commission to answer an address, or petition, or some such thing
to the master of the ceremonies, and, after half an hour's chat,
retired.
Colonel Gwynn found us out also, but was eager to find out more
company, and soon left us to go and look over the books at the
rooms, for the list of the company here.
A TETE-A-TETE WITH COLONEL FAIRLY.
After tea Mrs. Tracy went, and the king sent for Lord Courtown.
Mr. Fairly was going too, and I was preparing to return upstairs
to my toils; but he presently changed his design, and asked leave
to stay a little longer, if I was at leisure. At leisure I
certainly was not but I was most content to work double tides for
the pleasure of his company, especially where given thus
voluntarily, and not accepted officially.
Page 160
What creatures are we all for liberty and freedom! Rebels
partout!
"Soon as the life-blood warms the heart,
The love of liberty awakes!"
Ah, my dear friends! I wrote that with a sigh that might have
pierced through royal walls!
>From this circumstance we entered into discourse with no little
spirit. I felt flattered, and he knew he had given me de quoi:
so we were both in mighty good humour. Our sociability, however,
had very soon an interruption. The king re-entered ; he started
back at sight of our diminished party, and exclaimed, with a sort
of arch surprise, "What! only You two?"
Mr. Fairly laughed a little, and Ismiled ditto! But I had rather
his majesty had made such a comment on any other of his
establishment, if make it he must; since I am sure Mr. Fairly's
aversion to that species of raillery is equal to my Own.
The king gave some fresh orders about the letter, and instantly
went away. As soon as he was gone, Mr. Fairly,--perhaps to show
himself superior to that little sally,--asked me whether he might
write his letter in my room?
"O yes," cried I, with all the alacrity of the same superiority.
He then went in search of a page, for pen and ink, and told me,
on returning, that the king had just given orders for writing
implements for himself and Colonel Gwynn to be placed in the
dining-parlour, of which they were, henceforth, to have the use
as soon as the dinner-party had separated; and after to-night,
therefore, he should intrude himself upon me no
more. I had half a mind to say I was very sorry for it! I
assure you I felt so.
He pretended to require my assistance in his letter, and
consulted and read over all that he writ. So I gave my opinion
as he went on, though I think it really possible he might have
done without me!
Away then he went with it, to dispatch it by a royal footman; and
I thought him gone, and was again going myself, when he
returned,--surprising me not a little by saying. as he held the
door in his hand, "Will there be any--impropriety--in my staying
here a little logger?"
I must have said no, if I had thought yes; but it would not have
been so plump and ready a no! and I should not, with
Page 161
quite so courteous a grace, have added that his stay could do me
nothing but honour.
On, therefore, we sat, discoursing on various subjects, till the
twilight made him rise to take leave. He was in much better
spirits than I have yet seen him, and I know not when I have
spent an hour more socially to my taste. Highly cultivated by
books, and uncommonly fertile in stores of internal resource, he
left me nothing to wish, for the time I spent with him, but that
"the Fates, the Sisters Three, and suchlike branches of
learning," would interfere against the mode of future separation
planned for the remainder of our expedition. Need I more
strongly than this mark the very rare pleasure I received from
his conversation?
Not a little did poor Miss Planta marvel what had become of me;
and scarce less was her marvel when she had heard my adventures.
She had told me how gladly the gentlemen would seize the
opportunity of a new situation, to disengage themselves from the
joint tea-table, and we had mutually agreed to use all means
possible for seconding this partition; but I had been too well
satisfied this night, to make any further efforts about the
matter, and I therefore inwardly resolved to let the future take
care of itself--certain it could not be inimical to me, since
either it must give me Mr. Fairly in a party, or time for my own
disposal in solitude.
This pleasant beginning has given a spirit to all my expectations
and my fatigues in this place; and though it cost me near two
hours from my downy pillow to recover lost time, I stole them
without repining, and arose--dead asleep--this morning, without a
murmur.
THE KING's GENTLEMEN AND THE QUEEN's LADIES.
Sunday, July 13--I was obliged to rise before six o'clock, that I
might play the part of dresser to myself, before I played it to
the queen; so that did not much recruit the fatigues of
yesterday's rising and journey! Not a little was I surprised to
be told, this morning, by her majesty, that the gentlemen were to
breakfast with Miss Planta and me, every morning, by the king's
orders.
When I left the queen, I found them already in my little parlour.
Mr. Fairly came to the door to meet me, and hand me into the
room, telling me of the new arrangement of the king, with an air
of very civil satisfaction. Colonel Gwynn
Page 162
appeared precisely as I believe he felt,-perfectly indifferent to
the matter. Miss Planta joined us, and Columb was hurried to get
ready, lest the king should summon his esquires before they had
broken their fast. Mr. Fairly undertook to settle our seats, and
all the etiquette of the tea-table; and I was very well content,
for when he had placed me where he conceived I should be most
commodiously situated, he fixed upon the place next me for
himself, and desired we might all keep to our posts. It was next
agreed, that whoever came first to the room should order and make
the tea; for I must often be detained by my waiting, and the king
is so rapid in his meals, that whoever attends him must be rapid
also, or follow fasting. Mr. Fairly said he should
already have hastened Columb, had he not apprehended it might be
too great a liberty ; for they had waited near half an hour, and
expected a call every half minute. I set him perfectly at his
ease upon this subject, assuring him I should be very little at
mine if he had ever the same scruple again. He had been in
waiting, he said, himself, ever since a quarter after five
o'clock in the morning, at which time he showed himself under the
king's window, and walked before the house till six! I was
beginning to express my compassion for this harass, but he
interrupted me with shrewdly saying, "
"O, this will save future fatigue, for it will establish me such
a character for early rising and punctuality, that I may now do
as I will: 'tis amazing what privileges a man obtains for taking
liberties, when once his character is established for taking
none."
Neither Miss Planta nor myself could attempt going to church, we
had both so much actual business to do for ourselves, in
unpacking, and fitting up our rooms, etc. The rest of the day was
all fasting, till the evening, and then--who should enter my
little parlour, after all the speechifying Of only one night,"
made yesterday, but Mr. Fairly, Colonel Gwynn, and Lord Courtown!
Whether this, again, is by the king's command, or in consequence
of the morning arrangement, I know not: but not a word more has
dropped of "no evening tea-table;" so, whether we are to unite,
or to separate, in future, I know not, and, which is far more
extraordinary, I care not! Nobody but you could imagine what
a compliment that is, from me! I had made Miss Planta promise,
in case such a thing should happen, to come down; and she was
very ready, and
Page 163
we had a very cheerful evening. Great difficulties, however,
arose about our tea-equipage, So few things are brought, or at
least are yet arrived, that Columb is forced to be summoned every
other moment, and I have no bell, and dare not, for this short
time, beg for one, as my man herds with the King's men; besides,
I have no disposition to make a fuss here, where every body takes
up with every thing that they get.
In lamenting, however, the incessant trouble I was obliged to
give the gentlemen, of running after Columb, I told Mr. Fairly my
obligation, at Windsor, to Colonel Wellbred, for my bell there.
"O yes," cried he, laughing, "I am not surprised; Colonel
Wellbred is quite the man for a 'belle!'"
"Yes," cried I, "that he is indeed, and for a 'beau' too."
"O ho! you think him so, do you?" quoth he: to which my prompt
assent followed.
ROYALTY CROWDED AT FAUCONBERG HALL.
The royal family had all been upon the walks. I have agreed with
myself not to go thither till they have gone through the news-
mongers' drawing up of them and their troop. I had rather avoid
all mention and after a few days, I may walk there as if not
belonging to them, as I am not of place or rank to follow in
their train.
But let me give you, now, an account of the house and
accommodation.
On the ground-floor there is one large and very pleasant room,
which is made the dining-parlour. The king and royal family also
breakfast in it, by themselves, except the lady-in-waiting, Lady
Weymouth. They sup there also, in the same manner. The
gentlemen only dine with them, I find. They are to breakfast
with us, to drink tea where they will, and to sup--where they
can; and I rather fancy, from what I have yet seen, it will be
commonly with good Duke Humphrey.
A small, but very neat dressing-room for his majesty is on the
other side of the hall, and my little parlour is the third and
only other room on the ground-floor: so you will not think our
monarch, his consort and offspring, take up too much of the land
called their own !
Over this eating- parlour, on the first floor, is the queen's
drawing-room, in which she is also obliged to dress and to un-
Page 164
dress for she has no toilette apartment! Who, after that, can
repine at any inconvenience here for the household? Here, after
breakfast, she sits, with her daughters and her lady and Lady
Courtown, who, with her lord, is lodged in the town of
Cheltenham. And here they drink tea, and live till suppertime.
Over the king's dressing-room is his bed-room, and over my
store-room is the bed-room of the princess-royal. And here ends
the first floor.
The second is divided and sub-divided into bed-rooms, which are
thus occupied:--Princess Augusta and Princess Elizabeth sleep in
two beds, in the largest room. Lady Weymouth occupies that next
in size. Miss Planta and myself have two little rooms, built
over the king's bed-room and Mrs. Sandys and Miss Macentomb, and
Lady Weymouth's maid, have the rest.
This is the whole house! Not a man but the king sleeps In it.
A house is taken in the town for Mr. Fairly and Colonel Gwynn,
and there lodge several of the servants, and among them Columb.
The pages sleep in outhouses. Even the house-maids lodge in the
town, a quarter of a mile or more from the house!
Lord Courtown, as comptroller of the household, acts here for the
king, in distributing his royal bounty to the Wells, rooms,
library, and elsewhere. He has sent around very magnificently.
We are surrounded by pleasant meadows, in which I mean to walk a
great deal. They are so quiet and so safe, I can go quite alone;
and when I have not a first-rate companion, my second best is-
-none at all! But I expect, very soon, my poor Miss Port, and I
shall have her with me almost constantly.
AT THE WELLS.
Monday, July 14-This morning I was again up at five o'clock, Miss
Planta having asked me to accompany her to the wells. The queen
herself went this morning, at six o'clock, with his majesty. It
is distant about a quarter of a mile from Lord Fauconberg's. I
tasted the water, for once; I shall
spare myself any such future regale, for it is not prescribed to
me, and I think it very unpleasant.
This place and air seem very healthy; but the very early
Page 165
hours, and no maid! I almost doubt how this will do. The fatigue
is very great indeed.
We were too soon for the company, except the royals. We met them
all, and were spoken to most graciously by every one. We all
came back to breakfast much at the same time, and it was very
cheerful.
I spent all the rest of the day in hard fagging, at work and
business, and attendance; but the evening amply recompensed it
all. Lord Courtown, Mr. Fairly, Colonel Gwynn, and Miss Planta,
came to tea. My Lord and Colonel Gwynn retired after it, to go
to the rooms; Mr. Fairly said he Would wait to make his bow to
his majesty, and see if there were any commands for him.
CONVERSATION AND FLIRTATION WITH COLONEL FAIRLY.
And then we had another very long conversation, and if I did not
write in so much haste, my dear friends would like to read it.
Our subject to-night--his subject, rather--was, the necessity of
participation, to every species of happiness. "His" subject, you
may easily believe; for to him should I never have dared touch on
one so near and so tender to him. Fredy, however, could join
With him more feelingly--though he kept perfectly clear of all
that was personal, to which I Would not have led for a thousand
worlds. He seems born with the tenderest social affections; and,
though religiously resigned to his loss--which, I have been told,
the hopeless sufferings of Lady - rendered, at last, even a
release to be desired--he thinks life itself, single and
unshared, a mere melancholy burthen, and the wish to have done
with it appears the only wish he indulges.
I could not perceive this without the deepest commiseration, but
I did what was possible to conceal it; as it is much more easy,
both to the hearer and the speaker, to lead the discourse to
matters more lively, under an appearance of being ignorant of the
state of a sad heart, than with a betrayed consciousness.
We talked of books, and not a little I astonished him by the
discovery I was fain to make, of the number of authors I have
never yet read. Particularly he instanced Akenside, and quoted
from him some passages I have heard selected by Mr, Locke.
Page 166
Then we talked of the country, of landscapes, of walking, and
then, again, came back the favourite proposition,--participation!
That, he said, could make an interest in anything,--everything;
and O, how did I agree with him! There is sympathy enough,
heaven knows, in our opinions on this subject
But not in what followed. I am neither good nor yet miserable
enough to join with him in what he added, -that life, taken all
in all, was of so little worth and value, it could afford its
thinking possessor but one steady wish,--that its duration might
be short!
Alas! thought I, that a man so good should be so unhappy!
We then came back again to books, and he asked us if we had read
a little poem called the "Shipwreck"?(279) Neither of us had
even heard of it. He said it was somewhat too long, and somewhat
too technical, but that it contained many beautiful passages. He
had it with him, he said, and proposed sending Columb for it, to
his house, if we should like to read it. We thanked him, and off
marched Columb. It is in a very small duodecimo volume, and he
said he would leave it with me.
Soon after, Miss Planta said she would stroll round the house for
a little exercise. When she was gone, he took up the book, and
said, "Shall I read some passages to you? I most gladly assented,
and got my work,--of which I have no small store, believe me!--
morning caps, robins, etc., all to prepare from day to day;
which, with my three constant and long attendances, and other
official company ceremonies, is no small matter.
The passages he selected were really beautiful: they were chiefly
from an episode, of Palemon and Anna, excessively delicate, yet
tender in the extreme, and most touchingly melancholy.
One line he came to, that he read with an emotion extremely
affecting-- 'tis a sweet line--
"He felt the chastity of silent woe."
He stopped upon it, and sighed so deeply that his sadness quite
infected me.
Then he read various characters of the ship's company,
Page 167
which are given with much energy and discrimination. I could not
but admire every passage he chose, and I was sensible each of
them owed much obligation to his reading, which was full of
feeling and effect.
How unwillingly did I interrupt him, to go upstairs and wait my
night's summons! But the queen has no bell for me, except to my
bed-room.
He hastily took the hint, and rose to go. "Shall I leave the
poem," he cried, "or take it with me, in case there should be any
leisure to go on with it to-morrow?"
"Which you please," cried I, a little stupidly, for I did not, at
the moment, comprehend his meaning which, however, he immediately
explained by answering, "Let me take it, then;--let me make a
little interest in it to myself, by reading it with you."
And then he put it in his pocket, and went to his home in the
town, and up stairs went I to my little cell, not a little
internally simpering to see a trait so like what so often I have
done myself,--carrying off a favourite book, when I have begun it
with my Susanna, that we might finish it together, without
leaving her the temptation to peep beforehand,
MISS BURNEY MEETS AN OLD FRIEND.
Tuesday, July 15--While the royals were upon the walks, Miss
Planta and I strolled in the meadows, and who should I meet
there--but Mr. Seward! This was a great pleasure to me. I had
never seen him since the first day of my coming to St. jades's,
when he handed me into my father's coach, in my sacque and long
ruffles. You may think how much we had to talk over. He had a
gentleman with him, fortunately, who was acquainted with Miss
Planta's brother, so that we formed two parties, without
difficulty. All my aim was to inquire about Mrs. Piozzi,--I
must, at last, call her by her now real name!--and of her we
conversed incessantly. He told me Mr. Baretti's late attack upon
her, which I heard with great concern.(280) It seems he has
broken off all intercourse with her, and
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not from his own desire, but by her evident wish to drop him.
This is very surprising ; but many others of her former friends,
once highest in her favour, make the same complaint.
We strolled so long, talking over this ever- interesting subject,
that the royals were returned before us, and we found Mr. Fairly
waiting in my parlour. The rest soon joined. Mr. Seward had
expected to be invited; but it is impossible for me to invite any
body while at Cheltenham, as there is neither exit nor entrance
but by passing the king's rooms, and as I have no place but this
little common parlour in which I can sit, except my own room.
Neither could I see Mr. Seward anywhere else, as my dear friends
will easily imagine, when they recollect all that has passed, on
the subject of my visitors, with her majesty and with Mr. Smelt.
He told me he had strolled in those meadows every day, to watch
if I were of the party.
COLONEL FAIRLY AGAIN.
Mr. Fairly again out-stayed them all. Lord Courtown generally is
summoned to the royal party after tea, and Colonel Gwynn goes to
the town in quest of acquaintance and amusement. Mr. Fairly has
not spirit for such researches ; I question, indeed, if he ever
had taste for them.
When Miss Planta, went off for her exercise, he again proposed a
little reading, which again I thankfully accepted. He took out
the little poem, and read on the mournful tale of Anna, with a
sensibility that gave pathos to every word.
How unexpected an indulgence--a luxury, I may say, to me, are
these evenings now becoming! While I listen to such reading and
such a reader, all my work goes on with an alacrity that renders
it all pleasure to me. I have had no regale like this for many
and many a grievous long evening ! never since I left Norbury
park,-never since my dear Fredy there read Madame de S6vign6.
And how little could I expect, in a royal residence, a relief of
this sort! Indeed, I much question if there is one other person,
in the whole establishment, that, in an equal degree, could
afford it. Miss Planta, though extremely friendly, is almost
wholly absorbed in the cares of her royal duties, and the
solicitude
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of her ill-health : she takes little interest in anything else,
whether for conversation or action. We do together perfectly
well, for she is good, and sensible, and prudent, and ready for
any kind office: but the powers of giving pleasure are not widely
bestowed: we have no right to repine that they are wanting where
the character that misses them has intrinsic worth but, also, we
have no remedy against weariness, where that worth is united with
nothing attractive.
I was forced again, before ten o'clock, to interrupt his
interesting narrative, that I might go to my room. He now said
he would leave me the book to look over and finish at my leisure,
upon one condition, which he begged me to observe: this was, that
I would read with a pen or pencil In my hand, and mark the
passages that pleased me most as I went on. I readily promised
this.
He then gave it me, but desired I would keep it to myself,
frankly acknowledging that he did not wish to have it seen by any
other, at least not as belonging to him. There was nothing, he
said of which he had less ambition than a character for bookism
and pedantry, and he knew if it was spread that he was guilty of
carrying a book from one house to another, it would be a
circumstance sufficient for branding him with these epithets.
I could not possibly help laughing a little at this caution, but
again gave him my ready promise.
A VISIT TO MISS PALMER.
Wednesday, July 16.-This morning we had the usual breakfast, and
just as it was over I received a note from Miss Palmer, saying
she was uncertain whether or not I was at Cheltenham, by not
meeting me on the walks or at the play, but wrote to mention that
she was with Lady D'Oyley, and hoped, if I was one of the royal
suite, my friends might have some chance to see me here, though
wholly denied it in town. I sent for answer that I would call
upon her; and as no objection was made by her majesty, I went to
Sir John D'Oyley's as soon as the royal party rode out.
I found Miss Palmer quite thoroughly enraged. We had never met
since I left the paternal home, though I am always much indebted
to her warm zeal. Sir John and Lady D'Oyley are a mighty gentle
pair. Miss Palmer could make them no better present than a
little of her vivacity. Miss Elizabeth
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Johnson, her cousin, is of their party : She is pretty, soft, and
pleasing; but, unhappily, as deaf as her uncle, Sir Joshua which,
in a young female, is a real misfortune.
To quiet Miss Palmer as much as I was able, I agreed tonight that
I would join her on the walks. Accordingly, at the usual time I
set out with Miss Planta, whom I was to introduce to the
D'Oyleys. Just as we set out we perceived the king and his three
gentlemen, for Lord Courtown is a constant attendant every
evening. We were backing on as well as we Could, but his majesty
perceived us, and called to ask whither we were going. We met
Mr. Seward, who joined us.
There is nothing to describe in the walks : they are straight,
clay, and sided by common trees, without any rich foliage, or one
beautiful opening. The meadows, and all the country around, are
far preferable: yet here everybody meets. All the D'Oyley party
came, and Miss Planta slipped away.
The king and queen walked in the same state as on the Terrace at
Windsor, followed by the three princesses and their attendants.
Everybody stopped and stood up as they passed, or as they stopped
themselves to speak to any of the company.
In one of these stoppings, Lord Courtown backed a little from the
suite to talk with us, and he said he saw what benefit I reaped
from the waters! I told him I Supposed I might be the better for
the excursion, according to the definition of a water-drinking
person by Mr. Walpole, who says people go to those places well,
and then return cured! Mr. Fairly afterwards also joined us a
little while, and Miss Palmer said she longed to know him more,
there was something so fine in his countenance.
They invited me much to go home with them to tea, but I was
engaged. We left the walks soon after the royal family, and they
carried me near the house in Sir John D'Oyley's coach. I walked,
however, quietly in by myself; and in my little parlour I found
Mr. Fairly. The others were gone off to the play without tea,
and the moment it was over Miss Planta hurried to her own stroll.
"ORIGINAL LOVE LETTERS."
This whole evening I spent t`ete-`a-t`ete with Mr. Fairly. There
is something singular in the perfect trust he seems to have in my
discretion, for he speaks to me when we are alone with a
frankness unequalled and something very flattering in the
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apparent relief he seems to find in dedicating what time he has
to dispose of to my little parlour. In the long conference of
this evening I found him gifted with the justest way of thinking
and the most classical taste. I speak that word only as I may
presume 'to judge it by English literature.
"I have another little book," he said, "here, which I am sure you
would like, but it has a title so very silly that nobody reads or
names it: 'Original Love-Letters;(281)--from which you might
expect mere nonsense and romance, though, on the contrary, you
would find in them nothing but good sense, moral reflections, and
refined ideas, clothed in the most expressive and elegant
language."
How I longed to read a book that had such a character!--yet,
laughable and prudish as it may seem to you, I could not bring
myself to accept the half-offer, or make any other reply than to
exclaim against the injudiciousness of the title-page.
Yet, whatever were our subjects, books, life, or persons, all
concluded with the same melancholy burthen--speed to his
existence here, and welcome to that he is awaiting! I fear he has
been unfortunate from his first setting out.'
THE FOUNDER OF SUNDAY SCHOOLS CRITICIZED.
July 19.--The breakfast missed its best regale Mr. Fairly was
ill, and confined to his room all day.
The royal party went to Lord Bathurst's, at Cirencester, and the
queen commanded Miss Planta and me to take an airing to
Gloucester, and amuse ourselves as well as we could. Miss Planta
had a previous slight acquaintance with Mr. Raikes and to his
house, therefore, we drove.
Mr. Raikes(282) was the original founder of the Sunday-school, an
institution so admirable, so fraught, I hope, with future good
and mercy to generations yet unborn, that I saw almost with
reverence the man who had first suggested it. He lives at
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Gloucester with his wife and a large family. They all
received us with open arms. I was quite amazed, but soon
found some of the pages had been with them already, and announced
our design; and as we followed the pages, perhaps they concluded
we also were messengers, or avant-courieres, of what else might
be expected. Mr. Raikes is not a man that, without a previous
disposition towards approbation, I should greatly have admired.
He is somewhat too flourishing, somewhat too forward, somewhat
too voluble ; but he is worthy, benevolent, good-natured, and
good-hearted, and therefore the overflowing of successful spirits
and delighted vanity must meet with some allowance. His wife is a
quiet and unpretending woman: his daughters common sort of
country misses. They seem to live with great hospitality,
plenty, and good cheer. They gave us a grand breakfast, and then
did the honours of their city to us with great patriotism. They
carried us to their fine old cathedral, where we saw the tomb of
poor Edward II., and many more ancient. Several of the Saxon
princes were buried in the original cathedral, and their
monuments are preserved. Various of the ancient nobility, whose
names and families were extinct from the Wars of the Roses, have
here left their worldly honours and deposited their last remains.
It was all interesting to see, though I will not detail it,
for any "Gloucester guide" would beat me hollow at that work.
Next they carried us to the jail, to show in how small a space, I
suppose, human beings can live, as well as die or be dead. This
jail is admirably constructed for its proper purposes--
confinement and punishment. Every culprit is to have a separate
cell; every cell is clean, neat, and small, looking towards a
wide expanse of country, and, far more fitted to his speculation,
a wide expanse of the heavens. Air, cleanliness, and
health seem all considered, but no other indulgence. A
total seclusion of all commerce from accident, and an absolute
impossibility of all intercourse between themselves, must needs
render the captivity secure from all temptation to further guilt,
and all Stimulus to hardihood in past crimes, and makes the
solitude become so desperate that it not only seems to leave no
opening, for any comfort save in repentance, but to make that
almost unavoidable.
After this they carried us to the Infirmary, where I was yet more
pleased, for the sick and the destitute awaken an interest far
less painful than the wicked and contemned. We went
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entirely over the house, and then over the city, which has little
else to catch notice. The pin manufactory we did not see, as
they discouraged us by an account of its dirt.
Mr. Raikes is a very principal man in all these benevolent
institutions; and while I poured forth my satisfaction in them
very copiously and warmly, he hinted a question whether I could
name them to the queen. "Beyond doubt," I answered; "for these
were precisely the things which most interested her majesty's
humanity." The joy with which he heard this was nothing short of
rapture.
ON THE WALKS.
Sunday, July 20-Colonel Gwynn again brought but a bad account of
his companion, who was now under the care of the Cheltenham
apothecary, Mr. Clerke.
I had appointed in the evening to go on the walks with Miss
Palmer. I scarce ever passed so prodigious a crowd as was
assembled before the house when I went out. The people of the
whole county seemed gathered together to see their majesties; and
so quiet, so decent, so silent, that it was only by the eye they
could be discovered, though so immense a multitude. How unlike a
London mob!
The king, kindly to gratify their zealous and respectful
curiosity, came to his window, and seeing me go out, he called me
to speak to him, and give an account of my intentions. The
people, observing this graciousness, made way for me on every
side, so that I passed through them with as much facility as if
the meadows had been empty.
The D'Oyleys and Miss Johnson and Miss Palmer made the walking
party, and Mr. Seward joined us. Mr. Raikes and all his family
were come from Gloucester to see the royal family on the walks,
which were very much crowded, but with the same respectful
multitude, who never came forward, but gazed and admired at the
most humble distance,
Mr. Raikes introduced me to the Bishop of Gloucester, Dr.
Halifax, and afterwards, much more to my satisfaction, to the
Dean of Gloucester, Dr. Tucker, the famous author of "Cui
bono."(283) I was very glad to see him: he is past eighty, and
has a most shrewd and keen old face.
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I went afterwards to tea with the D'Oyleys and Miss Palmer, and
Mr. Seward again accompanied us. Miss Palmer brought me home in
Sir John's carriage, making it drive as near as possible to the
house.
But just before we quitted the walks I was run after by a quick
female step :--"Miss Burney, don't you know me? have you forgot
Spotty?"--and I saw Miss Ogle. She told me she had longed to
come and see me, but did not know if she might. She is here with
her mother and two younger sisters. I promised to wait on them.
Mrs. Oake was daughter to the late Bishop of Winchester, who was
a preceptor of the king's: I knew, therefore, I might promise
with approbation.
AN UNEXPECTED VISITOR.
Monday, July 21.-I was very much disappointed this morning to see
Colonel Gwynn come again alone to breakfast, and to hear from him
that his poor colleague was still confined.
The royal party all went at ten o'clock to Tewkesbury. About
noon, while I was writing a folio letter to my dear father, of
our proceedings, Mr. Alberts, the queen's page, came into my
little parlour, and said "If you are at leisure, ma'am, Mr.
Fairly begs leave to ask you how you do."
I was all amazement, for I had concluded his confinement
irremediable for the present. I was quite happy to receive him;
he looked very ill, and his face is still violently swelled. He
had a handkerchief held to it, and was muffled up in a great
coat; and indeed he seemed unfit enough for coming out.
He apologised for interrupting me. I assured him I should have
ample time for my letter.
"What a letter!" cried he, looking at its size, "it is just such
a one as I should like to receive, and not--"
"Read," cried I.
"No, no !--and not answer!"
He then sat down, and I saw by his manner he came with design to
make a sociable visit to me. He was serious almost to sadness,
but with a gentleness that could not but raise in whomsoever he
had addressed an implicit sympathy. He led almost immediately to
those subjects on which he loves to
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dwell--Death and Immortality, and the assured misery of all
stations and all seasons in this vain and restless world.
I ventured not to contradict him with my happier sentiments, lest
I should awaken some fresh pain. I heard him, therefore, in
quiet and meditative silence, or made but such general answers as
could hazard no allusions. Yet, should I ever see him in better
spirits, I shall not scruple to discuss, in such a way as I can,
this point, and to vindicate as well as I am able my opposite
opinion.
He told me he had heard a fifth week was to be now added to this
excursion, and he confessed a most anxious solicitude to be gone
before that time. He dropped something, unexplained, yet very
striking, of a peculiar wish to be away ere some approaching
period.
I felt his meaning, though I had no key to it; I felt that he
coveted to spend in quiet the anniversary of the day on which he
lost his lady. You may believe I could say nothing to it; the
idea was too tender for discussion; nor can I divine whether or
not he wishes to open more on this subject, or is better pleased
by my constant silence to his own allusions. I know not, indeed,
whether he thinks I even understand them.
COURTS AND COURT LIFE.
We then talked over Cheltenham and our way of life, and then ran
into discourse upon Courts and Court life in general. I frankly
said I liked them not, and that, if I had the direction of any
young person's destination, I would never risk them into such a
mode of living; for, though Vices may be as well avoided there as
anywhere 'and in this Court particularly, there were mischiefs of
a smaller kind, extremely pernicious to all nobleness of
character, to which this Court, with all its really bright
examples, was as liable as any other,--the mischiefs of jealousy,
narrowness, and selfishness.
He did not see, he said, when there was a place of settled income
and appropriated business why it might not be filled both with
integrity and content in a Court as well as elsewhere. Ambition,
the desire of rising, those, he said, were the motives that envy
which set such little passions in motion. One situation,
however, there was, he said, which he looked upon as truly
dangerous, and as almost certain to pervert the fairest
disposition- it was one in which he would not place any person
for whom he had the smallest regard, as he looked upon it to
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be the greatest hazard a character could run. This was, being
maid of honour.
THE VINDICTIVE BARETTI.
Tuesday, July 22-To-day, at noon, I had a surprise with which I
was very well pleased. His majesty opened the door of my little
parlour, called out, "Come, Come in -," and was followed by Major
Price. He was just arrived from his little farm in
Herefordshire, and will stay here some days. It is particularly
fortunate just now, when another gentleman was really required to
assist in attendance upon the royal party.
Mr. Seward, with a good-humoured note, sent me the magazine with
Baretti's strictures on Mrs. Thrale. Good heaven, how abusive!
It can hardly hurt her--it is so palpably meant to do it. I
could not have suspected him, with all his violence, of a
bitterness of invective so cruel, so ferocious!
I well remember his saying to me, when first I saw him after the
discovery of "Evelina"...... I see what it is you can do, you
little witch--it is, that you can hang us all up for laughing-
stocks; but hear me this one thing--don't meddle with me. I see
what they are, your powers; but remember, when you provoke an
Italian you run a dagger into your own breast!"
I half shuddered at the fearful caution from him, because the
dagger was a word of unfortunate recollection:(284) but, good
heaven! it could only be a half Shudder when the caution was
against an offence I could sooner die than commit, and which, I
may truly say, if personal attack was what he meant, never even
in sport entered my mind, and was ever, in earnest, a thing I
have held in the deepest abhorrence.
I must do, however, the justice to his candour to add, that upon
a newer acquaintance with me, which immediately followed, he
never repeated his admonition; and when "Cecilia" came out, and
he hastened to me with every species of extravagant encomium, he
never hinted at any similar idea, and it seemed evident he
concluded me, by that time, incapable
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meriting such a suspicion; though, to judge by his own conduct, a
proceeding of this sort may to him appear in a very different
light. He thinks, at least, a spirit of revenge may authorize
any attack, any insult. How unhappy and how strange! to join to
so much real good nature as this man possesses when pleased, a
disposition so savagely vindictive when offended.
SPECULATIONS UPON COLONEL FAIRLY'S RE-MARRYING.
Thursday, July 24--"Pray, Miss Burney," cried Colonel Gwynn, "do
you think Mr. Fairly will ever marry again?"
"I think it very doubtful," I answered, "but I hope he will, for,
whether he is happy or not in marrying, I am sure he will be
wretched in singleness; the whole turn of his mind is so social
and domestic. He is by no means formed for going always abroad
for the relief of society; he requires it more at hand."
"And what do you think of Miss Fuzilier?"
"That he is wholly disengaged with her and with everybody."
"Well, I think it will be, for I know they correspond ; and what
should he correspond with her for else?"
"Because, I suppose, he has done it long before this could be
suggested as the motive. And, indeed, the very quickness of the
report makes me discredit it; 'tis so utterly impossible for a
man whose feelings are so delicate to have taken any steps
towards a second connexion at so early a period."
"Why, I know he's very romantic,--but I should like to know your
opinion."
"I have given it you," cried I, "very exactly."
COLONEL FAIRLY AGAIN PRESENTS HIMSELF.
Not long after, when all the party was broke up from my little
parlour, though not yet set out for Gloucester, who should again
surprise me by entering but Mr. Fairly! I was quite rejoiced by
his sight. He was better, though not well. His face is almost
reduced to its natural size. He had a letter for her majesty
from Lord Aylesbury, and had determined to venture bringing it
himself.
He said he would carry it in to the queen, and then return to my
parlour, if I would give him some breakfast.
You may suppose I answered "No!" But, afterwards, fearing he
might
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be detained and fatigued, he asked me to present it for him, and
only say he was waiting in my room for commands. I was forced to
say "Yes," though I had rather not.
Her majesty was much surprised to hear he was again out so
unexpectedly, and asked if he thought of going to Gloucester?
"No," I said, "I believed he was not equal to that."
She bid me tell him she would see him before she went.
I returned with this message, and would then have ordered him
fresh breakfast; but he declared if I was fidgety he should have
no comfort, and insisted on my sitting quietly down, while he
drew a chair by my side, and made his own cold tea, and drank it
weak and vapid, and eat up all the miserable scraps, without
suffering me to call for plate, knife, bread, butter, or anything
for replenishment. And when he had done, and I would have made
some apology, he affected me for him a good deal by gravely
saying, "Believe me, this is the pleasantest breakfast I have
made these six days."
He then went on speaking of his late confinement, and its
comfortless circumstances, in very strong terms, dwelling on its
solitude and its uselessness, as if those only formed its
disagreeability, and the pain went for nothing. Social and kind
is his heart, and finely touched to the most exquisite sensations
of sympathy; and, as I told Colonel Gwynn, I must needs wish he
may yet find some second gentle partner fitted to alleviate his
sorrows, by giving to him an object whose happiness would become
his first study.
He brought me back the few books I had procured him but I had no
fresh supply. He spoke again of the favourite "Letters," and
said he felt so sure I should be pleased with them, that he was
desirous I should look at them, adding There is no person into
whose hands I would not put them not even my daughter's."
It was now impossible to avoid saying I should be glad to see
them: it would seem else to doubt either his taste or his
delicacy, while I have the highest opinion of both. In talking
them over he told me he believed them to be genuine; "But the
woman," he said, "throughout the whole correspondence, is too
much the superior. She leaves the man far behind. She is so
collected, so composed, so constantly mistress of herself, so
unbiased by her passions, so rational, and so dignified, that I
would even recommend her as an example to any young woman in
similar circumstances to follow."
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He was summoned to her majesty, in the dining-parlour. But when
they were all set out on the Gloucester expedition, he returned
to my little parlour, and stayed with me a considerable time.
Grave he came back--grave quite to solemnity, and almost wholly
immersed in deep and sad reflections, He spoke little, and that
little with a voice so melancholy, yet so gentle, that it filled
me with commiseration.
At length, after much silence and many pauses, which I never
attempted to interrupt or to dissipate, continuing my work as if
not heeding him, he led himself distantly, yet intelligibly--to
open upon the immediate state of his mind.
I now found that the king's staying on at Cheltenham a fifth week
was scarcely supportable to him; that the 16th of next month was
the mournful anniversary of his loss, and that he had planned to
dedicate it in some peculiar manner to her memory, with his four
children. Nothing of this was positively said; for
"He feels the chastity of silent woe."
But all of it was indubitably comprised in the various short but
pointed sentences which fell from him.
THE COLONEL AND THE "ORIGINAL LOVE LETTERS."
Friday, July 25.-Again, to a very late breakfast came Mr. Fairly,
which again he made for himself, when the rest were dispersed, of
all the odd remnants, eatable and drinkable. He was much better,
and less melancholy. He said he should be well enough to join
the royal party to-morrow, who were to dine and spend the whole
day at Lord Coventry's at Coombe. . . .
In the afternoon, while Miss Planta and myself were Sitting over
our dessert, a gentle rap at the parlour-door preceded Mr.
Fairly. How we both started! He was muffled up in a great coat,
and said he came quite incog., as he was not well enough to dine
anywhere but in his private apartment, nor to attend the royals
to the walks, whither they go every evening. He had only
strolled out for a walk by himself.
I could not persuade him to sit down; he said he must be gone
immediately, lest he should be seen, and the king, not aware of
his unfitness, should order his attendance.
Miss Planta, presently, was obliged to go to the princesses,
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and wait with them till the promenade took place. Quietly, then,
he drew a chair to the table, and I saw he had something to say;
but, after a little general talk he rose and was going : when,
hearing by the dogs the royal family were just in motion, he
pulled off his great coat and seated himself again.
And then, he took from his pocket a small volume, which he said
he had taken this opportunity to bring me. You Will be sure it
was the "Original Letters.;"
I took them, and thanked him: he charged me with a very grave air
to keep them safe, and I put them into my work-box--my dear
Fredy's work-box--which here is my universal repository of small
goods and chattels, and useful past all thanks.
By the time they Were set off, however, we were entered into
conversation, and he said he would venture to stay tea; "though,
as I tell you," he added, "what I do not tell everybody, I must
confess I have upon me some certain symptoms that make me a
little suspect these Cheltenham waters are going to bring me to a
fit of the gout."
And then he told me that that dreadful disorder had been
frequently and dangerously in his family, though he had himself
never had it but once, which was after a very bad fall from his
horse when hunting with the king.
Miss Planta now joined us, looking not a little surprised to find
Mr. Fairly still here, and I ordered tea. After it was over, she
went to take her usual evening exercise; and then Mr. Fairly,
pointing to my work-box, said, "Shall I read a little to you?"
Certainly, I said, if it would not too much fatigue him; and
then, with the greatest pleasure in renewing again a mode in
which I had taken so much delight, I got my work and gave him his
book. Unluckily, however, it was the second volume; the first,
having read, he had left in town. "It is quite, however," he
said, "immaterial whether You begin with the first volume or the
second; the story is nothing; the language and the sentiments are
all you can care for."
I did not quite agree in this, but would not say so, lest he
should think of me as Colonel Gwynn does of him, "that I am very
romantic which, however, I am not, though I never like to
anticipate an end ere I know a beginning.
Indeed, he had not praised them too highly, nor raised my
expectations beyond what could answer them, They are full
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of beauties-moral, elegant, feeling, and rational. He seemed
most unusually gratified by seeing me so much pleased with them.
I am so glad," he cried, "You like them, for I thought you
would!" But we began so late that he could only, get through two
letters, when the time of my retiring arrived. I was sorry also
to have him out so late after his long confinement; but he
wrapped himself up in his great coat, and did not seem to think
he should suffer from it.
Miss Planta came to my room upstairs, to Inquire how long Mr.
Fairly had stayed, and I was quite happy to appease her
astonishment that he should come without sending in to the king,
by assuring her he was only nursing for the next day, when he
meant to attend the Coombe party.
I thought it so absolutely right to mention his visit to the
queen, lest, hearing of it from the princesses through Miss
Planta, she Should wonder yet more, that I put aside the
disagreeable feel of exciting that wonder myself, and told her he
had drank tea here, when I attended her at night. She seemed
much more surprised than pleased, till I added that he was
preparing and hardening himself for the Coombe expedition the
next day, and then she was quite satisfied.(285)
THE GOUT AND THE LOVE LETTERS, AGAIN.
Saturday, July 26.-The royal party were to be Out the whole day,
and I had her majesty's permission to go to the play at night
with Miss Port and her friends, and to introduce MISS Planta to
them for the same purpose. The breakfast was at seven o'clock ;
we were all up at half after five. How sorry was I to see
Colonel Gwynn enter alone, and to hear that Mr. Fairly was again
ill
Soon after the king came into the room and said, "So, no Mr.
Fairly again?"
"No, sir; he's very bad this morning."
"What's the matter? His face?"
"No, sir; he has got the gout. These waters., he thinks, have
brought it on."
"What, in his foot?"
"Yes, sir; he is quite lame, his foot is swelled prodigiously."
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"So he's quite knocked up! Can't he come out?"
"No, sir; he's obliged to order a gouty shoe and stay at home and
nurse."
The king declared the Cheltenham waters were admirable friends to
the constitution, by bringing disorders out of the habit. Mr.
Fairly, he said, had not been well some time, and a smart fit of
the gout might set him all to rights again. Alas,
thought I, a smart fit of the gout in a lonely lodging at a
water-drinking place!
They all presently set off; and so fatigued was my poor little
frame, I was glad to go and lie down; but I never can sleep when
I try for it in the daytime; the moment I cease all employment,
my thoughts take such an ascendance over my morphetic faculty,
that the attempt always ends in a deep and most Wakeful
meditation.
About twelve o'clock I was reading In my private loan book, when,
hearing the step of Miss Planta on the stairs, I put it back in
my work-box, and Was just taking thence some other employment,
when her voice struck my ear almost in a scream "Is it possible?
Mr. Fairly!"
My own with difficulty refrained echoing it when I heard his
voice answer her, and in a few minutes they parted, and he rapped
at the door and entered my little parlour. He came in hobbling,
leaning on a stick, and with a large cloth shoe over one of his
feet, which was double the size of the other.
We sat down together, and he soon inquired what I had done with
his little book. I had only, I answered, read two more letters.
"Have you read two?" he cried, in a voice rather disappointed;
and I found he was actually come to devote the morning, which he
knew to be unappropriated on my part, to reading it on to me
himself. Then he took up the book and read on from the fifth
letter. But he read at first with evident uneasiness, throwing
down the book at every noise, and stopping to listen at every
sound. At last he asked me if anybody was likely to come?
Not a soul, I said, that I knew or expected.
He laughed a little at his question and apparent anxiety but with
an openness that singularly marks his character, he frankly
added, I must put the book away, pure as it is, if any one comes
or, without knowing a word of the contents, they will run away
with the title alone, exclaiming, 'Mr. Fairly
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reading love letters to Miss Burney!' A fine story that would
make!"
'Pon honour, thought I, I would not hear such a tale for the
world. However, he now pursued his reading more at his ease.
I will not tell you what we said of them in talking them over.
Our praise I have chiefly given--our criticism must wait till you
have read them yourselves. They are well worth your seeking. I
am greatly mistaken if you do not read them with delight.
in the course of the discussion he glided, I know not how, upon
the writings of another person, saying he never yet had talked
them over with me.
"It is much kinder not," cried I hastily. . . .
"Well, but," cried he laughing, "may I find a fault? Will you
hear a criticism, if nothing of another sort?" I was forced to
accede to this.
He told me, then, there was one thing he wholly disallowed and
wished to dispute, which was, Cecilia's refusing to be married on
account of the anonymous prohibition to the ceremony. He could
not, he said, think such an implied distrust of Delvile, after
consenting to be his, was fair or generous.
"To that," cried I, "I cannot judge what a man may think, but I
will own it is what most precisely and indubitably I could not
have resisted doing myself. An interruption so mysterious and so
shocking I could never have had the courage to pass over."
This answer rather silenced him from politeness than convinced
him from reason, for I found he thought the woman who had given
her promise was already married, and ought to run every risk
rather than show the smallest want of confidence in the man of
her choice.
Columb now soon came in to inquire what time I should dine, but a
ghost could not have made him stare more than Mr. Fairly, whose
confinement with the gout had been spread all over the house by
Colonel Gwynn.
I ordered an early dinner on account of the play."
"Will you invite me," cried Mr. Fairly, laughing, "to dine with
you?"
"Oh yes!" I cried, "with the greatest pleasure." and he said he
would go to his home and dress, and return to my hour.
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A DINNER WITH COLONEL FAIRLY AND MISS PLANTA,
As he was at leisure, I had bespoke the queen's hairdresser, on
account of the play; but Miss Planta came to inform me that she
could not be of that party, as she had received a letter from
Lady Charlotte Finch, concerning Princess Mary, that she must
stay to deliver herself.
I told her she would have a beau at dinner. "Well," she
exclaimed, "'tis the oddest thing in the world He should come so
when the king and queen are away! I am sure, if I was you, I
would not mention it."
"Oh yes, I shall," cried I; "I receive no visitors in private;
and I am sure if I did, Mr. Fairly is the last who would
condescend to make one of them." Such was my proud, but true
speech, for him and for myself.
At dinner we all three met; Mr. Fairly in much better spirits
than I have yet seen him at Cheltenham. He attacks Miss Planta
upon all her little prejudices, and rallies her into a defence of
them, in a manner so sportive 'tis impossible to hurt her, yet so
nearly sarcastic that she is frequently perplexed whether to take
it in good or ill part. But his intentions are so decidedly
averse to giving pain, that even when she is most alarmed at
finding the laugh raised against her, some suddenly good-humoured
or obliging turn sets all to rights, and secures any sting from
remaining, even where the bee has been most menacing to fix
itself.
I believe Mr. Fairly to possess from nature high animal spirits,
though now curbed by misfortune - and a fine vein of satire,
though constantly kept in order by genuine benevolence. He is
still, in mixed company, gay, shrewd, and arch ; foremost in
badinage, and readiest for whatever may promote general
entertainment. But in chosen society his spirits do not rise
above cheerfulness; he delights in moral discourse, on grave and
instructive subjects, and though always ready to be led to the
politics or business of the day, in which he is constantly well
versed and informing I never observe him to lead but to themes of
religion, literature, or moral life.
When dinner and a very sociable dessert were over, we proposed
going to the king's dining-parlour, while the servants removed
the things, etc., against tea. But the weather was so very fine
we were tempted by the open door to go out into the air. Miss
Planta said she would take a walk; Mr. Fairly could not, but all
without was so beautiful he would not go into the
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parlour, and rather risked the fatigue of standing, as he leant
against the porch, to losing the lovely prospect of sweet air.
And here, for near two hours, on the steps of Fauconberg Hall, we
remained; and they were two hours of such pure serenity, without
and within, as I think, except in Norbury park, with its loved
inhabitants and my Susan, I scarce ever remember to have spent.
Higher gaiety and greater happiness many and many periods of my
life have at different times afforded me; but a tranquillity more
perfect has only, I think, been lent to me in Norbury park,
where, added to all else that could soothe and attract, every
affection of my heart could be expanded and indulged. But what
have I to do with a comparison no longer cherished but by memory
The time I have mentioned being past, Miss Planta returned from
her walk, and we adjourned to the little parlour, where I made
tea, and then I equipped myself for the play.
The sweet Miss Port received me with her usual kind joy, and
introduced me to her friends, who are Mr. Delabere, the master of
the house, and chief magistrate of Cheltenham, and his family.
We all proceeded to the play-house, which is a very pretty little
theatre. Mrs. Jordan played the "Country Girl," most admirably;
but the play is so disagreeable in Its whole plot and tendency,
that all the merit of her performance was insufficient to ward
off disgust.(286) My principal end, however, was wholly answered,
in spending the evening with my poor M-----. . . .
Lady Harcourt is come to take the place of Lady Weymouth, whose
waiting is over; and Lord Harcourt will lodge in the town of
Cheltenham. We have no room here for double accommodations.
ROYAL CONCERN FOR THE COLONEL's GOUT.
Sunday, July 27.-This morning in my first attendance I seized a
moment to tell her majesty of yesterday's dinner.
Page 186
"So I hear!" she cried; and I was sorry any one had anticipated
my information, nor can I imagine who it might be.
"But pray, ma'am," very gravely, how did it happen ? I understood
Mr. Fairly was confined by the gout."
"He grew better, ma'am, and hoped by exercise to prevent a
serious fit."
She said no more, but did not seem pleased. The fatigues of a
Court attendance are so little comprehended, that persons known
to be able to quit their room and their bed are Instantly
concluded to be qualified for all the duties of their office.
We were again very early, as their majesties meant to go to the
cathedral at Gloucester, where the Bishop of Gloucester, Dr.
Halifax, was to Preach to them. But I -was particularly glad,
before our breakfast, was over, to see Mr. Fairly enter my little
parlour. He was Still In his gouty Shoe, and assisted by a
stick, but he had not suffered from his yesterday's exertion.
Before the things were removed, a page opened the door, and all
the royal family--king, queen, and three princesses--came into
the room to see Mr. Fairly and Inquire how he did. I hardly know
with which of the five he is most in favour, or by which most
respected, and they all expressed their concern for this second
attack, in the kindest terms.
The king, however, who has a flow of spirits at this time quite
unequalled, would fain have turned the whole into ridicule, and
have persuaded him he was only fanciful.
"Fanciful, Sir?" he repeated, a little displeased; and the good
king perceiving it, graciously and good-humouredly drew back his
words, by saying "Why I should wonder indeed if you were to be
that!"
When they all decamped I prepared for church. I had appointed to
go with Miss Port, and to meet her on the road. Mr. Fairly said,
if I would give him leave, he would stay and write letters in my
little parlour. I supplied him with materials, and emptied my
queen's writing-box for a desk, as we possess nothing here but a
low dining-table. So away went journals, letters, memorandums,
etc., into the red portfolio given me by my dear father.
page 187
As soon as I presented him with this, not at all aware of the
goods and chattels removed for the occasion, he said it was so
very comfortable he should now write all his letters here, for at
his lodgings he had such a miserable low table he had been forced
to prop it up by brick-bats!
Mr. Fairly sealed and made up his dispatches, and then said he
would stroll a little out to put his foot in motion. "And what,"
he asked, "shall you do?"
I had a great mind to say, Why, stroll with you; for that, I
think, was the meaning OF his question; but I feared it might
prevent my being dressed against the return Of the queen, and I
do not think she would have thought it an adequate excuse.
YOUNG REPUBLICANS CONVERTED.
Monday, July 28.--Miss Ogle acquainted me that this was the last
day of her remaining at Cheltenham, and I promised to drink tea
with her in the afternoon; and the queen honoured me with a
commission to bring Mrs. Ogle on the walks, as his majesty wished
again to see her. . . .
I found Mrs. Ogle and her daughters all civility and good humour.
Poor Mrs. Ogle has lately (by what means I do not know) wholly
lost her eye-sight; but she is perfectly resigned to this
calamity, and from motives just such as suit a bishop's daughter.
When I told her who desired her to be on the walks, she was
extremely gratified. Spotty is a complete rebel, according to
the principles of her republican father, and protested it would
only be a folly and fuss to go, for their notice. The younger
sisters are bred rebels too; but the thought of guiding their
mother, when such royal distinction was intended her, flattered
and fluctuated them. There was another lady with them, who told
me that Dr. Warton, of Winchester, had desired her to make
acquaintance with me; but I have forgotten her name, and have no
time to refresh my memory with it.
To the walks we went, the good and pious Mrs. Ogle between her
two young daughters, and Spotty and I together. Spotty begged me
to go to the ball with her, but I had neither licence nor
inclination.
The queen immediately espied Mrs. Ogle, by seeing me, as I heard
her say to the king; and they approached the spot where we stood,
in the most gracious manner. The king spoke with such kindness
to Mrs. Ogle, and with such great regard
Page 188
of her late father, that the good lady was most deeply affected
with pleasure. I believe they stayed half an hour with her,
talking over old scenes and circumstances. Spotty kept pulling
me all the time, to decamp; but I kept "invincible,"--not quite
like Mr. Pitt, yet "invincible." At last the king spoke
to her: this confused her so much, between the pleasure of the
notice, and the shame of feeling that pleasure, that she knew not
what she either did or said, answered everything wrong, and got
out of the line, and stood with her back to the queen, and turned
about she knew not why, and behaved like one who had lost her
wits.
When they left us, Mrs. Ogle expressed her grateful sense of the
honour done her, almost with tears ; the two young ones said,
they had never conceived the king and queen could be such sweet
people and poor Spotty was so affected and so constrained in
denying them praise, and persisting that she thought it "all a
bore," that I saw the republican heart was gone, though the
tongue held its ground.
A second time, after a few more turns, the same gracious party
approached, with fresh recollections and fresh questions
concerning interesting family matters. This was more than could
be withstood; Mrs. Ogle was almost overpowered by their
condescension; the young ones protested they should never bear to
hear anything but praise of them all their lives to come and poor
Spotty was quite dumb! She could not, for shame, join the chorus
of praise, and to resist it she had no longer any power.